Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #20

so are you moving Josh cuz this here is a moving blanket oh I mean are we packing something up here oh it's the wheel of the worst hmm it has tortured us for years randomly selecting terrible videos that are painful to watch leaving only the most disturbing nightmares and scarring the mindful life many have tried to destroy it but through evil never dies it is only it's now time to spin the wheel of the worst so J and rich have stacked the wheel of the worst with probably wursts that's my guess lots of worsts so many terrible videos but we don't know what they are no we don't have to find out but usually we do kind of see what's on the wheel first and we talk about it but this is I have no idea should we spin it first or should that's probably we're watching blue moving blanket a blanket anyways let's see what's under the blankets on the wheel of misfortune oh no oh no no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no no oh god no oh is that a rubber band on his crotch yes oh no oh my god oh my god Christmas with Dennis oh you know okay Josh tell us about our first video okay starting with the thing about money earn it save it spend it share it aid Association for Lutheran's Lutheran's don't have any cash everybody knows that this girl got a blossom hat mmm well I I don't want these these these white teens telling me about cash let's move on uh-huh oh don't let aids catch you oh oh well I suppose it's gonna be kind of talking to it looks like it's aimed at youth it's that's true talking to teens about AIDS got like a wacky yeah kind of design with the tears a 90 stare that's true but nothing wrong with the little information sure unless it's bad information yeah I don't want to think about this anymore cuz kind of bumming me out let's move on to Christmas with Dennis Dennis he looks like is he oh oh I thought he was an amputee Oh like you know what like if someone doesn't have the lower half of the body that's what I thought it was yes sitting he's yeah he's got his hands on his on his knees there in front of ya in front of them I think I thought Dennis had a really bad Christmas one year oh but no he's got a great Christmas this year look he's got he's gotten the is that either your keyboard or accordion under the under the tree and the train said and and his sweater and his bowtie and his his ruffled ruffled hurts feeling some music maybe some Christmas music probably some Christmas music probably some Christmas music I'm really excited we're going to listen to some Christmas music although maybe not us be Christmas time and he's just like let's play some some polka hits or something you know oh and it's just straight into the beer barrel oh yeah was it a tree behind them he segues into the blues and there's nothing nothing Christmasy about it well Christmas gives me the blues and then at the end he kills himself I'm camera mm-hmm and this is the only copy because his grieving widow gave it to Goodwill he made a case and everything they really went all out and it's left me this tape I should oh my god allies in transition how to prepare for a peaceful death no God the following Christmas with Dennis producer Margie Finch men registered nurse couple a 2003 well I'm glad I bought some whiskey I was having just a fine week and then all of a sudden here's all this disease and death and exercise yay exercise can beat arthritis mmm that sounds like a lie easy to follow exercises that help reduce arthritis pain increase range of motion strengthen muscles and joints increase energy and reduce fatigue mmm elderly workout tapes yeah always get me excited it's true and I guess it's not technically lies is exercise can beat arthritis not exercise will beat arthritis I mean it can certainly help these folks need to watch this there will be transitioning very soon depending on when this video was made they may have already maybe during the video oh that's me just like that all those old people jokes we will assume it's what they tune in for Oh Survival Guide for adults mm-hmm - it really looks like like Arnold Schwarzenegger Oh like when he's out on Mars oh yeah I can kind of see that otherwise I bolster come on yeah help my teenager is driving me but teenagers all crazy I didn't even see that Fonda I know that that's really incredibly badly designed huh did you get your test results oh yeah I couldn't read that font no it's it's it's it's extremely badly done I think that what do I think that it's Christian is the word ministry is gonna be on the back of this tape yes I'll take those odds the Christian marriage enrichment center cluster well I certainly hope we don't land on that it'll be terrible but will it be as terrible as the magic video now my question is is this a video about magic or is the video magic oh because it is it is oddly titled the magic meadow that's true well this when we put this video in the player will it come to life and will magic start happening I don't think so in my logic being you've seen the Muppet movie I have yes is that movie a muppet uh that's that's a fair point yeah it could be about magically turning yourself younger it could be or that's his child or his younger brother or maybe they swap personalities what's next shape up America it's back everybody oh the the elderly parents of now elderly celebrities oh yeah Wow energy and Maeve with Billy B and P or DLT award-winning star children's video 1995 ages 3.9 3.9 at the band that's the title almost be cool play it safe a children's safety video kids have fun learning to take responsibility for their own safety so this is for parents to teach your kids how to stop bugging you okay yeah like it this looks like an action movie what is this what is this oh so strong against crime protect your family is that Marvin yeah this this really oh maybe that's the that's the hook you know it looks like what's that movie sex or vaguer and Volusia the last action no no repeats yes is that red heat yeah that box it's like half lit like yeah the same font it must have come out around the same time protect your home or is he invading it I don't know I don't know it could go either way I suppose we'll find out or maybe we won't maybe we won't maybe we'll never know Charlotte diamonds diamonds and Dragons the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] is it it's just a lady ten favorite songs for the whole family from Charlotte's award-winning recordings I can barely stand anything Jesus Chris all right let's see what film we watch first here we go I'm gonna give this a good spin okay I don't know what I'm hoping for but we'll find out what we get in just a minute here we go oh boy oh I'm starting at a different spot no no that's illegal but I don't care no God Oh No it's time for some number you got what you wanted I guess you're excited about this I'm not that excited energy and me with Billy be ample Tempe LT okay let's go get some energy I can use you sang about how star ends but I'm not learning anything no can't understand what the [ __ ] he's saying I wouldn't throw up on the mountains first if you like plants growing they were [ __ ] supernovas all sorts of [ __ ] going on here the dancers are getting smaller number two energy is good rich what am i learning you jackass energy is the thing to you [Music] oh Jesus Christ you owe my so much energy [Music] Oh open it for the joke I just wanted to fall over but no energy but no I can't not for not for Christmas with Dennis No [Music] said Wayne Newton meets Jerry Lee Wuan awful show up later uh-huh move in camera heading oh good we're all showing up fake what's real anymore J welcome and happy holidays from my home to yours during this wonderful season we generally remember some of the Christmases from days gone by but in our hearts we're always home for the holidays the sexy looks we don't need him in the video we're whole lot of dentists is making love to that organ and he's letting us know it and it's not Christmas appropriate pirates we're living in a post Christmas with Dennis worlds there's some things you'll always remember where you were yeah when you got the news through JFK being assassinated 9/11 and Christmas with Dennis oh my god that's so horrible I didn't realize you were alive when Kennedy was assassinated you're so old I'm gonna spin the wheel now all right all right oh my back all right we're gonna talk about the money the thing about money what is the thing about money hopefully the video will tell us okay earn it save it spend it share it but you know that's why right here that's what the thing about money is all about we're gonna talk about the money feels like you got that sure you do but really I mean we spend a ton of money every year did you know that yeah right kids just that you and me spend 93 billion bucks on CDs Walkmans we're your friends yeah that's a lot of lunch money so are you ready I can get money wise I'm ready let's go what the [ __ ] Oh mad and so cold it's crazy it's very quiet right now Oh a thunderstorm may break out at any moment we're gonna power through because we're professionals right professionals that watch things like Christmas with Dennis we are professional entertainers much like Dennis much like Dennis and much like Jacqueline Stallone and we are professional not entertained errors wow that's pretty good that's that's yeah that's good that's very apt well Jay why are there four tapes out here because we were concerned that one tape might suck so we did an extra spin [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] and we really wanted to watch shape up America because it's been on the wheel before but we had to sit through some [ __ ] it was a musical night it's a very musical episode it was unexpectedly at certain yeah this obviously wasn't planned it's the wheel it's random but uh yeah all of these had a musical component less so the shape of America but definitely the first three this is the prequel to midsummer I hope this ends like midsummer I don't know these people look like they have too much agency but our first tape was Billy B and PLT energy and me Josh although you may want to peel off we got to read the back of this and find out what the [ __ ] the point of this video what the actual plan for this video was now we didn't even look at the back initially we would have seen energy and me music and dance video complete running time approximately 75 minutes I think you're gonna say 75 hours that's what it felt like here's the [ __ ] thing they actually have each video broken out by time on the back of this host 4 3 3 2 3 6 640 that was longer than 40 that segment I gotta take an hour I have a question though real quick yeah when this tape was manufactured yes was this the sticky velcro substance on it I don't believe so I believe we did this yeah but wants to get to the we were put it on the wheel mm-hmm added the sticky substance and didn't see the 75-minute runtime yeah do you know what was a long video Mike Shoji Tabuchi you know was a long video was Christmas with Dennis thanks so much I hate this musical tips [Music] two in a row is torture I know well but what okay my question is what does the back of the box say the tape is supposed to be it's like five or six music videos and every music video looks [ __ ] identical to the music video that came before it after it they just shot in the same location until fall happens yes there's a division of three and two the first three videos are with the older kids there's more complex dancing the songs are terrible then the last two it's become fall there are less and younger kids and the songs are terrible worse there's still a semi feel between all of them though because they're doing dances that look similar enough and they're all wearing brightly colored shirts and every single video theme symbols in every single video what [Music] everybody new location because they got like five locations they're just going back through yeah every video needs to be its own thing yeah this is all the same no [ __ ] no [ __ ] you and your blue polo well I think a very important thing to mention is that it started off as like an edutainment kind of thing where he's singing lyrics about like like solar energy and in front photosynthesis and he's talking about yeah the water cycle but you can't understand what he's saying so it's it's almost like that the the dancing part is bad the music's bad and you can't understand the educational content here's the thing like and like a well made children's video you would have characters that would explain these things and then while the energy cycle is this and this and that and even though that's kind of boring the music would come in just to reinforce that yeah but you don't you don't teach the science with just the lyrics so this doesn't do that either it just acknowledges that these things exist [Music] I'm getting no information yeah yeah this isn't informative er but it's not teaching you anything about him through the lyrics that's true it's just a list of facts yeah but the bigger issue is you start the video and you think it is okay this is meant for children to teach them about these things in a singing and dancing kind of way but that's the first there's like four or five songs and then the next hour is showing you the dance moves and so I guess that is the purpose of the video now if you have all those sections together you're ready to move on if you don't rewind but otherwise take it from the top well no that is the padding of the video because otherwise the video only would have been ten minutes long and they have to charge full price for it well this this man is despicable yes he is a talentless hack and he's awful well we have to point out we've seen him before this isn't our first Billy be rodeo no so talking about worm poop a might sound rude but warp is important plant food oh this guy sucks I miss Mary I miss Mary my Apple - her worms I never thought I'd miss them I mean I'll give him one one credit here he did have a pretty good rap solo it wasn't embarrassing either it's like if Ned Flanders were dancing whatever I say he looked like Harry Anderson periander she looked like Harry Anderson in certain certain spots he looked like Paul Reiser sometimes and then sometimes he look like Bea Arthur because he got he aged like a hundred years in between so did the kids adult kids that was shot after the fact they started his tiny children more kids were disappearing than Willy Wonka's factory all I know is that during all that rehearsal footage or all that teaching new dance footage the cameraman his mind was elsewhere he was only interested in one particular dancer focusing on earth the camera is focused yes yeah I don't know she's the best dancer or there's something else going on something going on all I know is the cops need to watch this video because they could find a lot of missing children there's no there's no foul play going on those children are just ashamed to have been in the video they're keeping a low profile okay they live out there oh great they're glad they were wearing sunglasses yeah no I thought that you were gonna find Billie be out there I'll just hang him from a tree yeah just swinging this swing yeah oh here comes the rain again that's Billy Beane his spirit is telling us to shut up and move on it's the water cycle Jay it's the water cycle we learned all about it Hey [Music] I don't know if I could do it guys it depends on how much longer this video goes played song a gun man is he trying to create like a hit song by like nailing it in your head I don't know and this will get his band back together from the sixties the guys are gonna see this song it's gonna be on the radio Chris that's really I'll accept this [Music] like The Killers dead it's a quiet for a moment and then they walk up on the body of it and pops back up through one point I was doing like this pop icon there's a dance move that's just an arrogant [ __ ] yeah no it's not he's doing the the who thing he's doing now it was a full full swing he's not tough it looked like an air guitar this is this is gonna be a tongues festival moment my friend he's doing the do the full windmill yeah he was and then it moved into like a like morva like it's just a rotational thing but at first it was an air guitar Pete Townsend like full-on like who swing and then it moved on it happened 75 times how did you not see apparently I missed every [ __ ] time there's no guitar anywhere in any of these musical numbers is there for a brief moment oh that guitar hits on the front there playing oh that's right yeah he plays guitar in it I need to he does it he does he does play the guitar in the war mania video - I believe this man has many talents he plays guitar music and singing and education is not any of them yes maybe someday we'll learn what they are yes one singular talent sucking oh here he is he's very good at embarrassing himself it really is let's move on [Laughter] well I don't know about you guys but I'm in the Christmas spirit already a couple months away of a Dennis see he brought it out of us I'm in the Dennis spirit the Dennis spirit yeah no his translucence like half the time Christmas with Dennis rich I don't even know if it matters okay Christmas with Dennis is like a lounge singer video from out of time they're gonna say from outer space lounge singer video from out of time and outer space sure sure he he's at somebody's house we don't know if it's his there's a family tied up in the corner that's not a frame this should just be called Christmas night where that on there the cover reminded me had something you'd like to see in the like the cursed images let's all cuz this looks like he doesn't have legs yeah this is whatever it looks like he has no legs just poorly lit Polaroid he's the love child of Liberace and Jerry Lewis and waiter and he's got his bling and he's he's got his his sequined jacket he's got a sequin jacket he's got his organ and he's got a shitload of [ __ ] dissolved oh yeah yeah this video is amazing um even though it while there is that stretch the when you just like the somber Christmas songs we all wanted to go to so yeah with no beat [Music] Jesus like this is just made for little Supercuts yeah up him well anytime he stares at the camera so much while he plays it's trying to give the like yeah he's doing like that hey but I don't know with Christmas music comes across as awkward well it was very interesting because he's definitely talented as an organist but he's completely out of his time period he seems like he should be a 1560s yeah well he probably the video was made in the 80s he's in like his 40s yeah he probably grew up with that kind of loan stabilizing that kind of yeah yeah it this doesn't it doesn't have like a like a self-aware kind of kitschy quality it's just that's just him I was there's made an 88 and I think he he plays to the older crowd that meant that might he might be that's your lightly aware that his his style is hammy maybe elderly people in 1988 were buying this because it Metin reminded them nobody was buying this this is the only copy but he's not gonna possibly I don't all it's a dated double dip it looks dated to us because it's old from the 80s and it was looked dated in the 80s because he looks like something straight out of the 50s style okay yeah and his voice his his personality the way he speaks sounds he sounds like he's a character in like a movie it's like he's a Martin Short character yeah in the song Frosty the Snowman the lyrics say there must have been some magic in that old silk ant they found it seems like he genuinely enjoys doing this sort of thing and being a performer and he doesn't seem to be aware of the how bad it is I'm gonna say if anything he's a little too cocky because he when he's playing he's just like look at me he's very loose with the finger yeah if that's that also remind me of Liberace too like a very the glissando you like the back-and-forth slides yeah all sorts of just like greens just like in that Germany not sticking closely to the melody at all [Music] Josh talked about Dennis's organ okay how big how big was it it's it's it's it's it's a good double keyboard you know a proper uh you know entertainment size organ he's got the drum machine in the drum machine tends to have a mind of its own and there are like 5560 buttons on this thing and the only press is about five of them yeah he's got all sorts of different tones in there and every time he hits a different tone it's just like oh yeah hey I hit a bull look good I'm doing out I I can understand that aspect it's a performance yes he's putting on a show I really feel like he taped this on this Aziz day off from the mall where the vanity comes in it's like the camera always has to be on his hands there's a lot of that look what I'm doing look at how good I am with keyboard well and we got the contrast when all of a sudden he introduces his sister who was a very skilled organist as well she's very precise yeah exactly she's very precise she's playing the song like you're supposed to play the song not a lot of showing this and you get that contrast of just like he's just a grain but she also looks like someone out of place out of time he has the big hair and like the dress like she it all comes across like like someone's like good like a nightmare like someone's dream and her feet go all the way under the screen and come around and down back into the frame but they start playing the piano yeah [Music] [Laughter] the extremely long double exposure of her foot pedal action oh there was so much of just that just that switcher on the board just got stuck halfway through I'm just like we don't know how that we can't we can't get it I guess we not wedged into the groove finally managed to get it passed yeah and then I get just get stuck again on the way back the cover of this video should have been Dennis and like a trench coat and it should have been titled double exposure with Dennis double exposure with Dennis well speaking of his sister it was a pleasant surprise when she showed up because we were looking at the opening credits which were amazing - right let's let our cast of characters weed we've got frosty comma J do them in order in order of appearance as they were in the credits what is the order of appearance Ralph Ralph Ralph Rudolph the red-nose reindeer fly fly as ghosts yeah we get anywhere any use to route up the red-nosed reindeer who is just a spirit that the camera happened to catch you should submit this to Ghost Adventures I know [Applause] then we get a sister well they it says her name what's her name Deborah Deborah Diane Diane no with a wife but but it's her name and she has a open we reddit so it's her name and then she has the same last name is Dennis and our first thought was oh that's his mom it's not gonna be his wife that's his mom so this plus is a surprise when it's like okay it's not his wife it's a sister but it's still not his mom so at least there's that I have a special holiday treat for you I'd like to introduce you to my sister sister I know [Laughter] [Music] that is a it's a special appearance by I think if it doesn't it should because it is a very special highlighted video yeah because we see in the back of the studio house there is a Santa Claus a doll that is gyrating looks like it's humming the air because it should have a list of naughty and I assume it's supposed to have something in his hands probably and not probably looking up and down but there's nothing in the hand so it really is just kind of a thrusting his his action is is is to look at the list will turn head left look back at the list but they had removed it your have the lists and it just looks like he's humping thrusting thrusting forward is a difference and after we enjoyed Santa Claus thrusting his way through the video at the very end all of a sudden there's a crazy video effect and Santa Claus appears in the chair and goes he's gonna walk up behind Dennis and then turns back into the humping Santa Claus that quickly it took a lot of energy to transform into Humana first all he had the energy to do after that was wave and then say I gotta go back it could have been Dennis it could have been done we didn't see him without his glasses on and see beard Dennis is too much of a performer I can't see Dennis just doing that's true yeah we saw him as frosty and he PBB brought it yeah [Music] wait wait oh oh you know that's not how the magic works I had special special white gloves that allowed him to play the keyboard it's not the the big probably pumping hands that came with that cause boxing gloves yeah yeah yes specialty gloves he really should have like surgical gloves on like latex gloves really that's what he had off camera when he was dealing with the family whose house he took over oh that's the thing is he he went into this house all those Christmas decorations those are his he had to bring those all in oh that's right and then when he was done with his crimes he had to move him out again take it all down this is a legend of course so this is something you put on in your living room during Christmas time I'm gonna or you never put on ever it's like it's like it's it's it's kind of made for like Christmas like a family get-together you know the first like chunk and that's dinner time somber music comes on you know they don't show Dennis he's not like making sex faces at the camera there's lots of awkward jump cuts during that part like he had no cut uses his hands and then it's a hard time not by himself because you can't do during a somber part that's true yeah I'll give him I'll give him credit for being that self-aware he's busy cut into stained glass windows Bing Crosby right the Bing Crosby ornaments sheet music he doesn't cut to the thrusting Sante once during the Jesus songs that's true Dennis could be portrayed by Bill Murray no no Benedict Cumberbatch oh well physically yeah this is that that Benedict Cumberbatch was made to play the build with low life story of Dennis mr. Kummer bets if you'd like to get in touch we have some story ideas we want to recreate the main shot of this and the shot with him looking in the camera and his wonderful segues between songs where he just uh it's like Casey Kasem you said during a little bit Casey hey everybody this next song and then then he goes right into it he gets that weird accent of always Santa's reindeer Rudolph is the most famous Johnny marks wrote a fabulous song called Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer in 1949 and Gene Autry recorded it and every year since then it's been a big hit so let's listen to Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer that weird way of speaking and that particularly and we're gonna recreate this shot we just need benedict cumberbatch it was like this could be you right here the role of a lifetime like a mine hunters recreation yes of another person yeah yeah yeah let's do it are you saying we'd get Fincher to direct all right hey like how this is going we need to ensure to direct this just this static shot that doesn't move we need to direct him to direct Benedict no he's gonna he's gonna figure out when the fades happen oh can we give him like an old like yes they would picture will have a videotoaster no David Fincher's such a perfectionist you would want to recreate it after the fact and you would make it down to like the exact frame the exact time to match the original video that's yeah yeah and he's also into serial killer stuff so this is made for him it could be Zodiac he looks a little bit like zodiac a little bit he's got the glasses do you feel like zodiac could be an organ player I can kind of feel it rich it could be DB cooper he used his money to buy an eye organ I'm amazed if you cracked the case Wow for all this time all right thanks everybody good night and until we meet again may God grant you much good health and happiness bye for now [Music] speaking of DB cooper our next tape is the thing about money you jump out of planes for it everybody if you have to and all US holes are gonna gush over just because it took [ __ ] place it Wisconsin no that's all we're gonna say about it and then we're gonna move on that's all you people need I know that place yeah we see the Avalon theater which that's when we realized that the Avalon theater I'm gonna show the inside on the inside are like that's our theater yeah cuz the companies from Appleton but this is this is all I'm with you on this one right yeah don't give a [ __ ] this video sucks there's there's only two takeaways from that video - yeah it's not very informative and it's very nineties it's extremely light it almost feels like a parody of the 90s yeah yeah the Dutch angles the exaggerated like like wide-angle lenses we were trying to come up with a name for that style because I've seen it in so many places like you were saying Beakman's world demons world on commercial surrealism cuz it's always fake it's always fake hip I'm down with the kids yeah yeah it always feels like phony and embarrassing and it doesn't feel very real everything feels artificial so I'm I'm gonna call it commercial surrealism okay you know maybe that's what drew Childress went into this project in this realism aspect and she gets to do a number okay let me put it to you this way [Music] [Music] [Music] these two are are really like the oh they're overdoing it with with in order for kids to learn they they have to be stimulated in every other [ __ ] area of their brain like that's not necessarily true it's like you just gotta have so much music and energy and then the content just gets buried yeah they leave so hard on that they don't have any information yeah the information is there I bet you if you had a lick of like literal transcript in words of this there's information but they bury it so far under all the crap that you you can make heads or tails of it [Music] do you mean like food and gas and such they're so worried about being hip they're not conveying information yeah effective exactly so we got to keep their attention by not telling them anything that's that's the nutshell rich right there and their parents are very good at budgeting either because they didn't even have the money to get the heat in their car fix yeah they're sitting in the car freezing to death dad just sat up outside of the mall the cold yeah the kids go into the mall and then they come dancing out of the mall they have a fake shopping spree cuz they're just looking at things they could get if they were yeah I know why don't you just give them coats and not pretend it isn't winter yeah we can see the breath well they're sitting in the car in the freezing winter maybe they live there in the car the debt that's with their dad with all their divorce yeah there does damage in the car that's hard I get it and yeah Rachel Dratch Rachel Dratch Swinton kicked the husband on he lives in a freezing car but he says to the kids he's like here's your like it's not spending money he's like give me gifts money whatever that means maybe it's a Christmas gift because it's obviously winter even though they're not wearing appropriate clothing rich it's in Wisconsin it doesn't necessarily have to be around Christmastime it could be right now yeah it could be like July and it's that cold yeah well he says here's your gift money and they go yeah they're going on a shopping spree but they're looking at all the things that get by and then they come back in the car and they're like here's $2 each from both of us towards that big-screen TV yeah we didn't spend all the money we could have so what'd you get had to do oh yeah what's this this is $2 for each of us for the family big-screen TV so they saved $2 out of their gift money and they wanted to put it towards a big a big screen TV which they also don't need also how's dad gonna fit that big screen TV in the car mister maybe the the it's to keep them warm screen TV a lot of people do I mean it is nineties yeah yeah big big tube right yeah and even the projection sound like today's modern TVs no dad's just down there in friendly RGB lights he has a lot of like a VCR hooked up to it with one of those like video fireplaces mental power insult injury yeah Rachel Dratch is looking at them it's parked outside their house crying uh-huh she's inside singing making dinner making her budget for the week [ __ ] it's just just paying bills yeah what's his alimony money we just we just made a better video the minute yes yeah yeah are we dead that's just [ __ ] give these characters some dimension yeah that one sucks moving on well I gotta go I had to go up some dogs oh I'm so sorry I spent money [Music] shape of America starring a bunch of elderly celebrities elderly parents there's a lot of things going on this video and none of it is coordination no and there's a voice to warning of it yeah you need to like be the guy who writes the the pink watch Jackie Stallone Sylvester Stallone's mother and Frank song and and Frank Stallone for good everyone forgets about Frank Stoll Jackie stones more famous than Frank Stallone what about Jacqueline Stallone is there another one uh Laurie Williams who's Robin Williams mom hey don't miss out on it it's terrific we've got a lot of fun in store for you she's stuck I'm waiting for the tennis ball to hit her and she just told you to look Harry Hoffman who's the father of Dustin Hoffman and let's not forget it's La Salle Pacino salva Chino leave that's a he's saying let's go so we can get it over with what I wanna get out of here look how uncoordinated is that our he's strong he might be drunk the star of the show the real star of the show Jacqueline wants to be the star she demands to be the star well the exciting thing about the video was was picking up on all the the social cues of these characters there's a lot of rebels in this video there's a lot of people with a lot of different drama going on Sal Pacino steals the show by not giving a [ __ ] yeah alright the other side AB stretches [Laughter] [Applause] there's a lot of wonderful narratives that's like we invented for this video we didn't know think they're some of them it's in the tape it's very clear the two women in this are snipping at each other pretty pretty obviously and it all comes it all culminates in an Laurie Williams segment where everyone each of our characters yeah they get their own segment to do to be in charge there's a number of catty comments before it's a combination yeah it begins with Jackie when she's leaving and Laurie is just defiantly not following the directions she's doing whatever she wants time to spin around and Laurie Laurie what'd you say I am facing camera I turn around they're all supposed to be spinning around and she just refuses to do it [Music] she will not do it she won't turn we should we should point out that these two women are as far away from each other as possible for most of the video it starts off friendly enough because we think it's it's gonna be a like an elderly swinger his video oh yes they just started dancing swingers party starts off yeah this many you're gonna get x-rated paid for by Warner Brothers [Music] quality control when we check the first ten minutes of the tape after this it turns into hardcore [ __ ] dick yeah it's like freestyle dancing and they partner up which I always thought was weird yeah because they're obviously not each other's significant others they either have them or they're dead and so it's it's Sal Pacino and and Jacqueline Stallone start there the pedestrian and then the other two do and yeah and she's one point Jacqueline Sloane says like hey Laurie how's um how's it not Harry Harry yeah how's Harry today I'm not even looking over there [ __ ] well generally in like that exchange is like something like you see how Sal is pulling his leg that was fanny and then and then Laurie is like Harry's doing it too and she says I'm not concerned about see how cells pulling us put into his fanny stretching is I'm not worried about how are you stretching is oh my god and then they get into their actual like exercise routines and it's just a disaster nobody's doing this train wreck and on top of that it's nothing but like a marketing gimmick it's scary to show an assortment of products it's a fake it's a fake exercise video by are overpriced cereal products the silver foxes count on Mottola products as an important part of their daily diet you should to order your mat all silver pack today you get 34 meals an informative nutritional lifestyle video tape and km all for only 99 95 buyer foot scrubber experience the satisfaction and benefits of the foot brush relieve tired feet combat offensive foot odor improve circulation and stimulate acupressure points sign up for our bogus program thing that does something we'll get discounts on hotel just the one hotel minded the silver foxes club yeah and and remember that Rolly metal is ever only thing I like cured you of your arthritis or something like it was like it's like gimmicks that you see on like infomercials at 3:00 in the morning but I want to I'm want to back up and I want to go back to the exercises because once we get through Jacky's you know kind of warm up flexing things she's in charge first yes then we take over with Harry and Harry's doing do Anna tennis kind of thing what about Jackie let's pay attention what we're doing now she had the [ __ ] up ladies is this an attention thing like my child has done so much better than I have that's suddenly the case with Jackie some of the spotlight Jackie sent along that seems to be a little more of a prima donna than the rest of them Jackie just a lot appears to be a third just an attention [ __ ] yeah I think I think Sal Pacino is just trying to have fun here's an important thing to keep in mind when you first start exercising and you're into it a couple of weeks you may start feeling not as good as you thought you were that's because you've used up the mature oxygen carrying red blood cells in your body it's a chemical process don't worry about it it happens to everyone just don't give up stick with it you'll start to feel better remember go at your own or you'll die kills your blood your exercising feel like [ __ ] key back before say always saying she's the ringleader yeah who who went out of her way to get all these other celebrities as parents involved and they don't give a [ __ ] it feels that way which is why like half of the time Sal Pacino is just [ __ ] whatever in the background this this came out during the the height of exercise tapes and and someone thought this was a genius idea these the parents of celebrities Oh everyone will buy this and they don't need they spent almost no effort on coordinating an actual like legitimate exercise routine it's just going to go like this everyone watching me [Music] yeah totally that's what it's doing half of them don't know what they're doing they don't even work here no but this is really what we thought was gonna happen is like you sell this tape on the name recognition of these celebrities and then here comes some young one thing that actually exercises for a living yeah and we like start everybody listen we're gonna do buh buh buh buh Josh that would take the spotlight away from Jackie Stallone right this is the lunatics running the asylum it is because there's no coordination there's so little coordination that a voice appears on the amateur on the overdub track to say hey it's okay if you're not synced up with these guys they're not either doing the exercise you're okay yeah don't worry if you're not following the exercises perfect just keep moving in an elderly person homes like that's what am I supposed to be following different don't worry if your exercise class is a [ __ ] show like this can we turn about Jacqueline's salons face and her questions yeah that's a question yeah because she has the droopy lip that's Stallone has yeah but Stallone has it from when he was being born what's the story well when when he was being born and when he was apparently having trouble coming out of Jackie's vagina they used some forceps on his head and apparently it did some nerve damage to his face and that's why he has the droopy lip is like it's nerve damage from when he was an infant ma'am and people told him you'll never be an actor whatever like shut up right this Rob that's the thing is that he made his own movie he made his own ways they did signature yeah and he's the start of this day he's like it's like an upside down elbow that explains Oh took me a minute the forceps explains why Sylvester Stallone has the drooping lip and what this alone does not yes and it does nothing to explain why Jackie Stallone has the droopy lip yeah because she's constantly doing that throwing speculated I speculated this is just speculation I don't know with these people that she's just doing it just to remind people that she is the mother of the famous Sylvester Stallone yeah big famous Hollywood movie star I'm his mother look at me because when I saw that that lip movement I said oh she's even got the same and I thought it was genetic because I did not know yeah about the birth problem yeah it gives you a beautiful glow being fit isn't just becoming stronger oh my god she's good dance yeah just a lone lip drop so yeah and but it also is possible and we don't know this either that maybe she had like a mild stroke and it's a coincidental yes it was a pretty [ __ ] amazing it could be any number of reasons why she has that troop and whether it's purposeful or not we don't know we were just really confused by the whole thing you don't know the crazy thing though we can still ask her theoretically theoretically we could still ask her because Jacqueline Salam is still around a little little did they know that she would be the last surviving silver fox presumably I haven't looked them all up mr. Hoffman is no longer with us oh yeah I was Ju I looked up he's he's got done for and he was the youngest one here's the thing I'm fairly I'm fairly sure she's just surviving on hate alone she's she's too spiteful to die yeah just outlive all the other silver foxes yeah she definitely had oh oh yeah because of that that [ __ ] dominant stunt Laurie Williams pulled on her during her segment yeah we do find that actually as we watched more of the video that there were any number of silver foxes there was a Patrick Swayze's mom was the Silver Fox which is very distracting because her face looks exactly like Patrick Swayze's face yes it was the first deep fake Farrah Fawcett's mom was it was a silver fox and of course Richard Simmons his mom was the silver [ __ ] are you saying just Richard Simmons they were smart enough to bring Richard Simmons into the follow up video and that's because this one probably didn't sell people watched it it's just a bunch of elderly people like flailing around with no coordination Harry Hoffman is confused how are you doing Sal Pacino doesn't give a [ __ ] he's drunk Jackie Stallone are constantly trying to merge each other do we think we need somebody who knows about Fitness instructing and a fitness instruction video or just for angry drunk elderly people let them flail around until the videos over is that really a good decision at the end of Laurie segment which is the cool down the whole time of which Laurie has been just kind of like looming over over Jackie the whole time do what I say this and then you strips reveling in it too yeah you can tell she was reveling in it Laurie does not participate in her own an instructional coach is the only one that doesn't yeah and it's like ab workout so and then she's just like like glaring but kneeling or leering over over jacqueline salonist she's like oh god she goes to touch jacqueline stone and jacqueline stone like in just pure revulsion like curls up they say yeah that's a stone Ian yeah there's there's this moment during Laurie Williams a segment where she's going around like touching everyone's belly oh yeah and then and then this is wonderful moment when she goes to touch jacqueline Stallone's belly and just a pure revulsion she curls up into a ball look a left you balled up don't you [ __ ] touch my stomach like a pill bug disagree she said don't [ __ ] touch me and body language she did I assume she said it on the set - and they just muted it out because there's a ton of time you can see her like Jacqueline Sloane's and lips moving doesn't remember anything you can't hear it it's all cut out well they're giving another reason to have an instructor to is to fill dead air yes and and an actual fitness instructor will be like hey come on everybody let's see a breathing right and you're doing it's like dead silence and then they do like ADR and like Oh everyday stretching your muscles is good yeah yeah yeah sometimes it's um sometimes it's a voiceover guy yeah yeah sometimes it's weirdly unexpected live where Harry is just like how you doing Jackie this takes practice don't worry if you're out of step or if your club is going in the wrong direction yeah so they I'm doing fine okay great I think Sony is yelling off-screen talk talk yes and then that's dysentery oh just how you doing jack maybe that's when they all get out of sync with each other's cuz they're distracted by people yelling at them off camera because they're old and confused do they have today like like like dogs do they have handlers cuz because you see so now honoree too far out of frame someone pushes them back in wave some boos they're looking off camera to their handlers where's the rub does it over with the slate did they put peanut butter and Harry Hoffman's mouth to make him talk if I can do it so can you he's like this exercise is is good for the heart I had a quintuple bypass surgery look it's a short life makes the most of it I'm played tennis my mouth was just running then they dubbed him over with Dustin Hoffman's voice oh he's a little big man thing you want me to do my dance lines okay give him some peanut butter it's legit weird it's weird what it is is a classic home video yeah that area's the quintessential cash grab yeah yeah yeah scam to put it bluntly to put it bluntly and many home videos as we've talked about before particularly on the wheel are just that the thing is these didn't really feel like that these these I mean this one obviously has some sort of plan I don't know what Dennis wants to show off again he's an entertainer yeah this was made by Lutheran's and then there's just a straight-up scam and it's the best one it's the best one anytime somebody headed up a psychic network there's some there's some sleaze going on oh yeah and that wasn't selfish II know although I would have paid good money for that do you tell me where the rum is let's begin with curls they'll help develop your wrist strength and flexibility while conditioning your [Music] practice today oh no this is not a tight production you know this is Harry's just doing what he wants is a sloppy disaster so that's our tapes that's our lineup of the night the question is which which human being is the most embarrassing oh oh definitely Billy B yeah yeah [Music] which is which you were you were about to lead into the best of the worst and I think we know which is bus and which is the worst and you may be shocked no no no we can go through it formally then yeah yeah I'm gonna say for me best of the worst the shape of America with the embarassing elderly people Mike oh that's the worst shape of America no doubt about it if I were to pick one to destroy you you'd really be I would not the tape him in the park I don't know where he's at he's oh yeah he already offed himself so we're good you know got to worry about how yeah he's swinging from a tree and I do you know I do need to give it to shape of America but I want to give a little a little asterisk to Christmas with Dennis it's so sincere it is so guileless it is what it is there is nothing more or less that could be Christmas with Dennis you can't be mad at him no yeah so the man with no legs gets runner yes it's it's an it's an it's an odd problem Oh [Laughter] having no work running having no legs runner up sorry I stepped on your joke oh no that is not problem you're right you're sorry you there's a there's a there's a filler problem what we what we want out of a tape is for these things to be dense and short yes Jennsen short like Danny DeVito if you're making one of these videos Wow wait rich is making a very good I don't mean dense as far as intelligence dense in terms of man okay anyway you're being filler and rich is a big dunce in short which what to make your brilliant point because I agree with you yeah we want something dense and short and just pure entertainment distilled but if you're you're making one of these videos you don't want to say oh yeah I'm only selling 15 limits worth of content and there's pressure on your making [ __ ] like this to have filler like like Christmas would Dennis is 20 minutes of pure entertainment in an hour and a half long package disagree so they'll shave of America best the worst effort absolutely yes III love those elderly weirdos but Billy be unless there's any objections I think we should definitely destroy it no no I I want to drop something heavy on it from a very high height yes let's teach Billy be all about potential and kinetic energy I don't get it well rich I think it's about time we teach Billy be a little lesson about potential and kinetic energy that's right Mike so today which and I have rigged up a 2,000 pound safe with some ropes we're gonna pull it up into the air and then drop it on the tape this is the power of math people science [ __ ] yeah [Music] Oh [Music] okay yeah the book the higher the angle is the better it seems to go to all right rich you're ready to drop the seat I'll [ __ ] I'm ready you ready to teach Billy be all about kinetic energy [ __ ] Billy b32 [Music] [Music] wait a minute why did we put it on the wheel maybe we shouldn't have done that [Music]

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 2,362,920

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, plinkett, half in the bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans, wheel

Id: 26si7WjhV-g

Length: 72min 7sec (4327 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 24 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/Penis_Wart]

Shape Up America makes Osteoporosis Dance looks like the Citizen Kane of elderly exercise.

[u/TomServoMST3K]

And we get a Halloween episode probably next week. It's a RedletterXMAS!

[u/teleekom]

That Tarantino edit in the foot rub infomercial was so subtle it took me a sec to realize it wasn't actually part of the video lmao

[u/protomenfan200x]

Oh holy shit, I've found Dennis' website. https://dennisawe.com/bio/

This is how he begins his own bio: "To call Dennis Awe an ultimate entertainer is like saying Fred Astaire could dance! An organ Virtuoso whose musical strengths encompass every area of good musical entertainment, his performance credits read like those of at least half a dozen different performers rolled into one… and for good cause!"

And the banner photo features him standing with what I can only call "exotic dancers," like at one of those big Vegas stage shows.

[u/shust89]

Some times it is nice just to have a clean BOTW, no Canadians, Culkins, or Oswalts in sight.

[u/protomenfan200x]

Is "Billy B" the guitar guy from the Wormania video?

[u/John_Doe4269]

Funny how Christmas with Dennis itself felt like a christmas gift for these four:

• ghost reindeer caught on camera, for Mike
• for Jay, a surreal Lynch moment with the sister in red dress playing a strange piano intro
• it was made for old people like Rich Evans
• and Josh is just happy to be there <3

[u/dingledoggo]

I'm only seven minutes in. I would just like to mention that this episode features the 2nd time Josh has mentioned a "Blossom hat" and "The Muppet Movie". That is all.

[u/zeldazonkky]

The bitterness exuding from Jackie Stallone (sorry Rich, Stone) and Laurie Williams will forever be a highlight for me in any BOTW episode. I loved Shape Up America as much as Christmas with Dennis (and thrusting Santa because 'there's a difference, Jay').