Best of the Worst: Jack-O, Rock n' Roll Nightmare, and Shark Exorcist

so yeah we narrowed it down to these three what's green I think I think we got a good selection this year we don't wanna end up with like another response I like the the demon stuff that one yeah yeah what's neat rich come on like I know it's Halloween and you want to go for album but we got to shoot the episode so let's uh let's be a little more professional here okay all right so what's after this one oh and then there's shark Exorcist which that one should be pretty good yeah [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] well Jack happy Halloween so it's my favorite time of year candy and costumes and coldness all the Seas on my favorite seas and crap which is what we're gonna watch today oh I get it our first movie is Jack oh I remember seeing this at the video store all the time growing up but I've never seen it but it was recommended to us but patton oswalt because it's Cameron Mitchell's last film Oh Oh No so I almost feel like we can't like you know once we wanted this we know where it ends I mean we have to save this for the last best of the worst mmm ever oh that could be this this is it this is it you made it to the last best lawyers congratulations everyone what a fantastic cover [Music] The Legend of Jacko is all but forgotten to the townspeople of oak more crossing except in the nursery rhymes of children oh so there this is Nightmare on Elm Street kind of thing meets Michael Jackson almost 100 years before warlock yes okay no that is a warlock a warlock or us someone named warlock no a warlock Walter messin was hung for murder but before he died he raised up a fury of a demon creature to take revenge on the unwitting townspeople many died before it was destroyed and buried forever the creature the creature was buried forever a hundred years ago okay buried forever come on so not forever coming back now whoopsie sorry just we're just brushing over the fact that the movie starts with a warlock when a trio of Graber grave robbers grave robbers a trio of grapes mushers they make a wine then they're just give me a fast facts that that famous viral video of the woman stepping on the grapes remember you don't know I'm talking about everybody knows that when a trio of grave robbers stumble across Jacko's unmarked grave they unleash the vengeful monster to continue its bloodthirsty quests this pumpkin monster hunger monster yeah that's a lady did you say jack Oh what happened to the Warlock did it say he died before no literally he died before he died I think they said no yeah he was a he was oh he's hung they hung him okay he wouldn't I mean he might have been hung but they hung the here's the important question if this is truly Cameron Mitchell's last movie we got to start taking guesses where is he appear and who is he gonna be angry cop I mean we can only hold well he'll be angry I don't know if I be a cop I mean I'm gonna say he'll be man sitting at desk my prediction is he's going to be in the same desk he was from daemon Cobb cuz if this is his last movie yeah he's not going anywhere did you find that terrifying I mean if your mind ceased to believe that which I've shown you never Mitchell he's gonna be a Latini it'll be him is he at Modesto is that the same footage it's even Cod it could very well be I don't remember exactly what he said cuz he was like a horror host and it ya know he was he was researching it was like a doctor that was talking about doesn't open the movie though Devon County yeah yeah excellent college a he did it so we watched this movie for that this is a good okay Josh oh hello as you know it's become somewhat of a tradition on Halloween to do a rock and roll themed horror movie yes it is and so I present to you rock and roll nightmare with John Mikkel for yes a hot new rock group they're sexy young girlfriends it should have been the best time of their lives but it ended up being a rock and roll light mer oh my god [Music] [Music] that would be funny if Nickelback wasn't still a band Mike they're still out there recording some new music in an isolated farmhouse the band gets more than they bargained for when something horrifying stirs in the darkest eternal evil haunts this place and the band members start turning into demons from Hell itself oh my god that sounds like the other movie we watched last year but made by the same people who made that other movie we watched last year right is it gonna be the exact same movie and I'd like to change the title no okay after a day of making music and making love this band is starting to break up one by one limb by limb so the arms like going on a solo career solo album I'm sorry one on one arm Def Leppard chokes never go out of style Michael 1984 called they wants to know of the year 2000 is the band's lead singer John Triton who's John Nichol thora John Triton like if you're if your name is John Nichol Thor just call your character that that I don't I don't think I could say enough how awesome that name is okay I'm with you because nipple Thor sounds like it could be a normal name until you see how it's spelled because it's not it's not John it's not John Nichol Thor yeah it's John Nichol for uh-huh [Music] featuring head banging heavy metal music by rock sensation John nickel Thor and some amazing visual and special makeup effects amazing they're gonna be amazing amazing let's go they sleeping in a bathtub set a bathtub coffin oh it's a piano bed the guy was trying to tell about earlier what is a piano bed I don't know it's that shaped like a piano or a bed listen a lambskin bathtub it's a it's [Music] dad that was a comedy no no [Music] this is a joke like the rest of the movie has been a joke this is the real movie yeah well we just had another rock and roll nightmare yes and our third film we found by happenstance grabbed it off the shelf based on the title alone we just grabbed the first movie we saw blood literally what are we gonna get I don't know well it had an intriguing title it's called shark Exorcist which fortunately was the first movie we grabbed off the shelf [Music] okay so there's a lady with I guess shark teeth on the back of the box I didn't look at the back of the box I didn't need to so the shark is I guess exorcism implies that the shark is possessed by a demon oh no there might be demonic transfer oh no I know exactly what's gonna happen okay we're not gonna get exciting shark attack footage a shark is going to possess a woman yeah so so the tag is yeah there'll be a shark for two seconds W shark for two seconds and then we're gonna get a woman run around with teeth okay this is a mistake so the tag is Satan has jaws and a little little little nice touch on the back you're gonna need a bigger cross which is a reference to the Exorcist what's so funny I'm just thinking about that one say on the excess no and father father Karras says we're gonna need a bigger cross right you're gonna need a bigger cross a demonic nun summons satan to a small fishing village where he takes over the bodies of a great white shark and also a young woman double possession oh that's weird why don't we just grab the first movie why didn't we like do a closer inspection a chain reaction of evil grips the tiny community as the shredded bodies wash up and the possessed woman stalks the local populace a Catholic priest arrives in search of his missing brother and he must fight both why hell is the brother missing I don't know related side plot okay well that's his reason for just showing up into this town I guess and he must fight both teeth and temptation on land and sea in order to send both these man killers back to how before the Devils washes ashore for good this is gonna be embarrassing and weird and at the very least I'm curious I can think of nothing better to do with 70 minutes of my time oh it's only 70 minutes yeah Oh should we go watch the movie no I guess so I can't I kind of like can't move like my feet won't move I just can't will mine the move I think it's like a natural reaction like self-defense yourself ideas just kicked in no yeah no we're not doing this anymore like walking into traffic like I just it's like that survival instinct yeah its eyes are already glowy it's not even evil yet as far as CGI shirts go not bad well what do you bet that was unlike and they bought that though well sure not bad but you know what was that like the perfectly blue background that was clearly now how that's bad that's the thing about almost dying Emily it is a real buzzkill the more you know this makes the movies better [Music] [Music] that goes a guy goes as it goes oh my god that's so [ __ ] Spooky's of that big pumpkin yeah everything's scary it's always the pumpkin it's gonna it's gonna be on a guy income that is roughly the actual size head of Jacko are here at Ulmer yeah yeah that doesn't work it doesn't look like it and it's probably to scale about the same size you could put that on your head you just need a hey sickle yeah and bad costumes and a bunch of bad actors and no script and a town with two streets to be fair i I think we we counted three whole streets and don't forget the boobs well there's - boo - boobs three streets for me fours a crowd or oh yeah that's right well the one girl very very briefly yes that was the case of like here's my boobs all right are we done yeah what are you doing baby speaking of boobs Josh can you tell us all about no not you you know just about Jacko because you can tell us about a better movie Jay yeah I think you're more appropriate to tell us all about Jack oh well I've been getting the blame for Jack oh all day as if this was my I there's a there's a different man that needs the blame yeah we have to blame Patton Oswalt's he recommended that we watch this because it was supposedly Cameron Mitchell's last film and technically technically it's his last credit but we'll get to that it is it possible speaking of which by the way we got him here the patron saint of best of the worst yes yes oh but Jacko is a movie about a wizard who creates a pumpkin monster and then the wizard dies and then the pumpkin monster dies and then many many centuries later years later sure five generations later five generations later but like that the pumpkin man comes back the descendant of the wizard has to stop him by wizard I assume you mean like we see a guy doing some magical stuff oh no we cut to a 17 year old footage of John Carradine sitting on a log video footage film shot film yeah they didn't even try and color correct it at all oh that's footage of John Carradine that was clearly not just for this movie yeah that's like oh now we know why there's a wizard involved because they have footage cuz they had footage of John Kerry that is such a weight off my shoulders now though why wasn't there just a punk of monster why did we need a wizard yeah why do we need a wizard ah another [ __ ] matter it's it's [ __ ] terrible it all takes place in the scariest place of all Florida that's when I think a nightmare I think of Florida pure white trash how many Methos were in this movie especially tiny towns in Florida with only three streets and no businesses yeah it has anywhere to go no it's entirely residential apart from there's a graveyard and a playground kids it's it takes place on Halloween and the kids have so few places to go that they go back to the same houses like three times yeah they're out trick-or-treating they're like oh here's the the the uppity the weird Republicans yeah they're watching a like a proto rush limbaugh a rush limbaugh imitation and yeah the lady has a British accent she were a dog I'd have this there in like a dump of a house their house is pretty trashy I think it's supposed to be a mansion but they just I think why should I give my money to the government well they aren't giving me any of theirs it's so true like a nobody British woman cuz white rich white people did I just sound like that they believe Halloween's a form of welfare free grocery store watch candy you want something from me you pay for it got it I'm gonna see that character be the sole survivor and the lady was like cutting up toasts like so you could dip it in soft-boiled eggs like British people do yeah like British people do I've never cut toast that way before roll into little strips unless you're making french toast not all of us can afford fancy french toast long but or knives come on nasty Americans will cut the bread in half and then well then we're talking about freedom sophisticated Oh blue powdered sugar man zing remember the blip days there was that Dad for Denny's that would play before like every blip video where the guy's eating like red white and blue pancakes and they're like what does it taste like and he's like America back in the days of what TV that was a commercial that you know all the time I was a Denny's oh no I think it was Denny's yeah America anyway I think we're all talking about something other than Jaco we're trying to avoid talking about Jack so what really happens in Jaco which people [ __ ] around yeah they just wander around this one neighborhood they set up all these characters it's like character after character after character were introduced to name them I can't name a single [ __ ] character we got mom and dad mom and dad Sean Kelly who's the little kid the little boy and the dad are the modern-day version of the the McFly farm yeah from Back to the Future 3 yeah where it's the dad and the son played played by the same actors yes that's the generation all the kids played the kids dad is too it's got the mustache easy he's like a little punchy winnie-the-pooh man in the current time cut to it see who's right I thought in the credits it said the father played the family I think it's just the kid that is the dual roles but anyway those are the characters and then we're introduced to more characters they say Tom's first of all what okay we have the shower babysitter that's Lenny Quigley the big actor in the movies and then we have Lynette Quigley's sister motorcycle boyfriend that's the fourth one even we didn't realize those were connected what why is there filth everywhere well the first chunk of characters is our little Harry Potter kid and his two friends bully bully boy and girl girl so you here's the other thing about this movie they live in a very dangerous neighborhood you know it's it's very dangerous because even though the parents are in the garage they need to hire a babysitter to watch their kid in the house yeah go around trick-or-treating all three streets with you well that was the frustrating thing about it as we were like okay this is so [ __ ] simple yeah we have Pumpkinhead monster demon you saw that from the dead to go around and kill all these characters we've been introduced to Pumpkinhead because Halloween yeah do pumpkins even grow in Florida it is it is a monster it's not an actual pumpkin so that's so that's a question though I have like go ahead and tell us that will totally look at your comment I mean I assume they like get pumpkins from has a tropical climate yeah pumpkins are everywhere in the US but I don't know if they grow on there maybe we have to pull them down from latex well sure I don't know it just doesn't seem like a story or a legend that would originate in a tropical climate coconut wait another 20 years then methods gonna be in the in stopping a story tradition pumpkins don't grow in the summer they grow in the fall right and fall typically happens in the Midwest in above a tropical the alignment region right now I'm just saying I don't think pumpkins grow in Florida like I don't know I think you've if you're a Floridian go [ __ ] yourself put put down the meth stop your shopping cart in the Walmart and get on your phone and send us a message to life everywhere Mike yeah pumpkins growing Florida cuz I don't think they do I just [Music] now I need to be the whole [ __ ] head you lazy son of the [ __ ] yeah the important thing that when they get killed it's it's very anticlimactic it's very disappointing yeah but we know that Jacko was free yeah jack is back and he's gonna wander around he'll go to the Republicans house and then and then leave and then a leave and he'll go to the the main characters house and then I'll leave and go back to the Republicans how he'll have real trouble killing people yeah that's the thing you set up your killer and then he doesn't kill anybody for a long time and even the kills we've you get are weak as [ __ ] like you know a lot of slit necks are like there is one decapitation they can only afford one head prop that was a good one that was a good one but the best stuff in the movie was an accident and Jacko wasn't responsible for it we have the the Republican lady the fake British lady we established they set it up it's like a final destination film where it's like oh she's slipping on her carpet she touches her toaster and I guess lightning comes out of it it's to remind you that a toaster is an electrical appliance yes otherwise otherwise you wouldn't know this in case you're an alien they don't have a gas-powered toaster she doesn't have to start it up lay along so they set that up and then the Jacko kills her husband and she runs back into the house and then we got the payoff wait what they try to do a an ironic thing what the [ __ ] oh I guess my work here is done he just goes oh this is awkward like shrugs like if you're gonna do something that stupid that would just be like oh I wasn't supposed to be stupid it was supposed to be scary that guy's wielding a six to eight foot long hey sickle mm-hmm with double handle blade action big bad and and you know he he has he has more range of motion than Michael Myers with the butcher knife yeah it's got at least eight to twelve feet of range of motion with us hey sickle and he can't do jack [ __ ] with it no he he uses that [ __ ] as a shovel that's in there that's right yeah burying the kid it's downright inverse yeah it's yeah the movie is embarrassing yeah [Music] yeah it's fun listen units a hold on it yeah they use just the right amount of frames yeah and now we have to talk about Cameron Mitchell and and Patton let's go through a timeline here uh-huh Exorcist yeah Jay and Josh talked about Exorcist okay Exorcist three uh-huh starring George see Scott yeah yeah George see Scott played General Patton yes Patton Oswalt named named after that pet it's true Patton Oswalt recommended jack oh yeah the final film of Cameron Mitchell and tonight we watch Jack oh here's the thing I don't think there's a link dating back six video all right I don't quite follow here's the thing you and you guys were talking in the intro come on come on Mike sing is check out this link to the other red letter media videos follow the links down below later to smash that like button ring the bell that's just us two actors oh we go way back to Texas u.s. Pazuzu in it Pazuzu begins with a P Patton begins with a P that's a connection I guess George see Scott Jersey Scott was hit in the groin by a football I want you to sit back to my style of power oh I don't want to get you off I want you to sit back it's like it's the same footage from demon cops even got the same yeah at first it because we see him he's like a horror movie host the little kids watching him on TV and at first it's like oh that's they shot and is in his room and is then there's that lamp but then we see it again later and he has it's the exact same footage from you know and and it's even the exact same line he makes yeah that he mentions like the asylum of madness yeah it's it's word for word the same lines the question is what was that footage originally shot for right it wasn't Shopper demon cop because nothing was originally shot for demon cop it could just be a thing where like a failed project I got 10 minutes of yeah like a fella goes game plan now anything yeah I'm gonna give you guys footage these are the files of the Damned the stories of those poor depraved Souls overall Jacko weirdest biopic about Kennedy's Widow I've ever seen there's pretty good though right it's pretty good I know I messed it up on the original delivery no I was working about come on people alright so that was Jack you got anything else we want to hit on there nope it sucks it sucks like it sucks [Music] so next yes next we have our rock and roll horror movie that we always do for every single year we've done it since the beginning and absolutely thing I think there's one or two years where we didn't done it every year that was a mistake so Josh as our resident music expert can you please try to unwrap rock and roll nightmare the only man in America right now wearing a dancing t-shirt well that can't be true I bet Danzig is wearing a Deans exactly it's me and one rock'n'roll nightmare seems like a terrible parody of horror movies for about 50 minutes and then we find out why that's true really true there you go yeah okay well first of all who is John Michael Thor he's a metal musician who had a band called for he basically his thing was that he was a big muscle man he lived to rock no this is documentary about him yes so at the beginning of rock'n'roll nightmare there is there so family that lives in a farmhouse and they're doing getting up for the morning shaving and making breakfast and all of a sudden mom opens up the fridge and there's something in there she in the oven oh it wasn't a ghost put her in the oven or doing something fun during the wait was that supposed to be the wife of the other I think so I thought it was supposed to be a monster not all the way that put in the oven I'm cause she opened the fridge even I show up in the fridge that's where the demon came from Oh she opens up the fridge yeah well that's what makes it confusing it's the first appearance of gozer excited slam with Gozer look at all the junk food there is no Dana only farm mom a lot a lot of the creatures in this movie look like like haunted house props they're pretty bad there they're not good I'd say they'd look like Fraggle Rock handsome II feel to a lot of them but we do we do get an incredibly bizarre credit sequence we get like Evil Dead the house credit sequence it seems like basically we've got that we've got a cat POV what okay was any of that just time to kill Ontario you must say number one what sure good and there's no payoff for any of it no well then yeah and then the credits are over and then we cut to Thor driving his van yeah there's a long montage and that goes on for [ __ ] ten minutes or it feels like oh this is the the footage that you have your credits are rolling absolutely but we already got the credits so we're just gonna watch a guy drive a van for [ __ ] ten minutes very long time and I'm sure that footage of like cat camera was just like testing camera equipment like oh this will be good b-roll for demon vision there's so much in this movie that seems like it was just camera test footage oh alright okay never mind don't need that house was a cool shot though we had the shot just throw it in somewhere do you think he just got like a whole bunch of new camera gear and he's like yeah let's do some funds test him testing it in the backyard oh yeah that was that cool ahem - mouch yeah we creamed through the tree thing these are very cool shots it's a really nice dollar you got there yeah look at how smooth this dolly is still driving they're going somewhere oh man they are getting every dollar out of his crane oh yeah every single [ __ ] yeah yeah the van is coming there and there were establishing the house van house van house because we understand cinema we assumed that these two things would meet up and they do because the van pulls up to the house can we talk about the van I want to talk about the van and the band yeah because the van has has a double license plate 1 1 is the Ontario Canada license plate and below it it says I love America USA number one USA number one yes right and so the premise is is that this rock band presumably from America has come up to a remote farmhouse in Ontario with a barn which has been retrofitted or augmented into a recording studio by a major record label RCA RCA as a recording - Rod Stewart has been there the rolling stone Alice Cooper Alison Cooper and so so is the band from America or as the band crossed over into the border did they then get an Ontario license plate or are these Canadians that are so embarrassed to be Canadians that they have to pretend to be Americans you know what the barn over there this one yeah big barn there you know that recording company RC a right they came here when Alice blooper Cooper yeah and they build a recording studio up there 24 drag for the keys yeah I have the keys here good and tonight well I want to tell you something though this is not the first band that's been here totally no no we had Bob Bob Stewart yeah yeah yeah yeah and also in there's a room up there yeah this is a bit why would you put that bit like I was watching a Johnny Pat owl movie there are definitely people in the band that have a Canadian accent the abour and the girlfriends in particular have a Canadian accent but did they pick them up on the way truck stop they try to establish that house as if it's like in the middle of nowhere like an evil dead situation but we see a road and we see cars driving past it all the time it's not that far out obviously the other thing I need I need to tweeted John worser so we can look at this movie and tell me if the drums are period-correct he will know is that the guy who invented the sauce desire desire that's that's an English descendant wish to shire sauce it's a little joke relax everybody jump down my throat like some worse to show that's music what do you think it was like bacon frying there's no bass in there they go and have their first rehearsal that's right which is also a recording I guess uh yeah the managers running tape even though it's rehearsal but you know what you wanna you want a kneeling young it you wanted to go ahead and run tape at all times just in case the magic happens yeah you never know that's turtle thing apparently yeah and we noticed still young the young never rolled tape while he was practicing this was good no he always always always I think you horribly miss up oh yeah opposite no switch I thought you were saying he was very naked lady singing okay all what is one of the members had a coke problem and had to leave the band yesterday I'm saying that oh my god a coke problem and rock and roll no there's no Coke in this movie there's no drugs and there's no drugs in this there are folks they were placed upon the coca-cola and remember he places his coke on the little rubbery hand and a little penis monster yeah so there is a tonic oh I guess but it's not the coke you would think of with a rock band it's a metaphor for Coco the coke is a metaphor for coke this whole movies about drug addiction the Bernadino we're gonna take our friend out to the middle of nowhere so they can kick the drug that's right a little bullet okay like evil deadly Evil Dead remake yeah yeah that's what this movies about a little little detox but but as it turns out oh yeah so you know yeah he has to confront his demon and he also needs to he needs to shed his friends who were part of his old drug life that they were part of the problem or part of the problem so his friend Wow he shed his friends and confronted his yeah [ __ ] Jay that kind of work this is a great film [Music] what what that's the actual monster look [Music] [Applause] what the [ __ ] was that I was looking at my phone oh that's his cup yeah it didn't actually vomit any it's failed factory work and they just left it so the manager who is just drank from the cup with the demon semen in it who may or may not be possessed goes down in the basement of the barn to look for more drumsticks and then all of a sudden gets seduced he's not affected by the exit by the humans he made it all making that point no but he's got it he's got he just has visions basically that is my point is that it is pointless well yeah well and we'll find out why as we go on with the movie or the demons weren't necessarily coordinating and the little penis demon can't really do any magic and he's just like I'm gonna spit in his [ __ ] right and like that's all he can do I had he sends the bigger demon down to look like the lady what what what there's nobody here there's nobody over there did you see it goes I I really feel I thought I really felt like rich was walking over here and tell you this building's haunted I think oh my god this we have a ghost wait rich when I'm here by myself sometimes I think I see somebody walking and oftentimes I've heard my name I really felt like rich was right behind me so I thought he was doing a bit you gotta get a sharp assistant here we gotta set the EVPs electro electro voice I think we need Ghost Adventures to investigate alright maybe he'd buy some of the things we have Rob give us six hundred thousand dollars for our [ __ ] we're selling everything see that guy that's like 200 bucks come on yeah that these things behind us are haunted they're pretty smooth rich saw something move that ladder as haunted Zach let's put it in a museum next next at games called room [Music] oh my god though cutaway no hold on that for as long as possible as we find out there are many different demons throughout yes it's very diverse in hell as far as we can tell not like Canada more diverse center rock band because we couldn't tell anybody apart although all the guys said the same hair and all the ladies had the same hair and I didn't know who was who also that puppet that would that remember is someone stuck their hand in a frigerator and and a fried chicken came to life oh yeah and a mouth on it and clearly clearly the puppeteer expected it to be lit moodily and and you could see like the rubber and the black so it's kind of like a Skeletor and the Masters of the Universe movies you can see the nostril it's just painted black yeah Frank Langella favorite role good for him he gave it his all so puppeteered the chicken puppet well the most notable one is when the one guy takes the the guy takes the girl down to the lake actually I only heard about it he's like how do you how did you find out about this place and it's like we're five feet from the house yeah I looked out my window and I saw a [ __ ] link [Music] [Music] oh no sound effects they're anything but then but yeah like a ham comes out of his chest or out of his stomach it grabs her boob like a 13 year old pervert yeah well let that's something to point out this movie feels like it's written by a 13 year old the whole movie there there's a lot of sex scenes and nudity and they're all shot very clumsily yeah really just a lot of flesh pressed yeah can we talk about grandmas a disability shower massager only grandma yeah just come in the shower it's a weak-ass shower too looking like two little streams so a massage the grungy white tile the little spurts of water and yeah nobody wants to get that wet in there I said in the house was like like a farmhouse to like off-the-grid they had laid a big water tank in the back yeah a shower set to like just don't use too much water yeah we got to have a refill yeah well it's also awkward because they don't you could just like cut to them in the shower but we see them like turn it on and awkwardly get in it's like we don't need to see any of this yeah you know you don't do the awkward get a little kissing get a little boobie in there and then you go and then you're out it would be like we're watching somebody fumble with a bra for five minutes that could have been in this movie you're really crowded in this movie [Music] why but here's the thing as we get to the end finally John John Nichol Thor's girlfriend is taken over by the demons and then John Michael Flohr does some dishes and is that after John Michael for left when John Michael Flohr showed up it doesn't matter for it what what no I heard a noise I just moved my legs is that what it was Sally came from a oh no I slice live so he's like oh no are you scared of ghosts apparently now I'm scared of spooky ghosts the movie gets just a little too wacky at this point it almost seems like he is like like being so dumb he's ignoring all these signs of demons like a demon shoots himself Adam and he's like whoa I dropped my pen yeah very slapstick II yes for just like five minutes and gets kind of wacky and then the girlfriend shows up [Music] oh my god whoops she fell she fell mom no she she this is this whole reveal is like it took their movie - it was gonna say it took the movie to a higher level and do all good for us for our enjoyment it's also embarrassing the entirety of the movie before this seems like it would have been like a shitty horror movie ripoff it turns out it was supposed to be never here Bob really shadows I created to entertain your little friends oh my I'm sorry it just characters I do I've been here all alone what I knew if I pissed you off and make a personal appearance see an angel of course he [ __ ] is he's sore I've never been more embarrassed and he just made all this up because he was trying to pull out of hiding this is the battle [Music] [Laughter] [Music] I don't really care if they keep doing this for another hour score keeps [ __ ] Rock this is turned into the best but that fight is the most amazing thing and that twist is up it is it beerus ever everything about it is great like because I didn't think throughout the rest of the movie because you think like rock and roll nightmare and you see like this cover and you're like oh awesome heavy metal horror film and then the movies like a bunch of people hanging out in the barn house he's dressed down for the most time John Lithgow for is wearing like pajamas he's more like ladies like a little girl's pajamas yes polkadot lady pajamas and so so you kind of like oh this isn't what you think this movie we're used to seeing misleading images on our own this doesn't just covered a Deathstalker 3 yeah but then it delivers in the most epic battle between good and evil yeah delivers and being the most embarrassing ending of a it's amazing and it's an amazing twist [Music] you didn't have to do much to defeat Satan that's bunch of all but the I think the weird thing to think about though if you think about this movie with any sort of logic is that he has created all of his bandmates he's created his van he's created everything and then all of his creations he said go [ __ ] it would have been great if they if they went to like after we got the big reveal that he's been you know all these friends are people that he'd manifested if then we come back to the reality like just quick cuts of different scenes from all a flashback yeah like flashbacks and yeah you see him in the shower and he's just like masturbating yeah and then we cut to him rocking out with his van and just him just template-based doing this and still do it but yeah obviously when you you you you mentioned something about this being the most embarrassing ending it's not even the most embarrassing ending of the night these movies is more embarrassing at the end than rock'n'roll language that's a tough call [Music] I don't think it is having to say it's the most entertaining that's dad's [ __ ] film alone I'm filming an underage girl in a mall with your cell phone [Music] oh all right hi Josh told me I needed be here immediately well you helped me pick shark Exorcist this is your fault homeboy all right business yeah it's business time on this show we we we have watched some amazing films you know skull forest yes suburban sasquatch and today we have watched a old man masturbate to women getting off with sharks we watched someone's fetish film basically yes we watched a director who made a movie as an excuse to watch women rise on the ground basically I don't think we've seen this level of blatant sleeves we have since DB Cooper versus Bigfoot yeah this is the the other side of that sadly this is one step above that is a one step below this is worse than VB Cooper T V Cooper meets Bigfoot yeah DV Cooper vs. Bigfoot I had a better story yes I don't think I can agree with that I understood the story in that one I don't know I have no idea what happens a lot of like like shirtless hiking but it had a better story but will you understood them and I made me more there wasn't much story but you understood what was happening through the whole thing anyway to have a point and I knew what happened at the end of DB Cooper versus Bigfoot yeah whereas this was like The Return of the King and add multiple endings and I didn't understand any of it that's true the end of this is probably the more like the most off-putting thing we've done yeah yeah we should point out like you hear this haidle shark Exorcist and we're like oh it's gonna be like a sharknado like a yeah like an intentionally bad thing because those aren't fun but we previewed a couple minutes of it and we're like oh this seems to be taken itself relatively seriously let's watch the whole film whoops thanks Mike it's only 70 minutes it's a long 70 minutes when you're deeply uncomfortable [Laughter] [Music] this movie starts off with it's a satanic nun who murders a woman for reasons that are never explained yeah and then beseeches Satan to just have a domotic shirt come mm-hmm yes not even like it's just a shark gets possessed by a demon it's just she just manifests a demonic shark it's a demon shark so there we go there is a pre-existing demon shark right yes sir exists sure I guess I think it's the spirit of the demonic mom that inhabits the shark but she doesn't die then we cut to modern day and there are there are five days one year later you're later yeah oh sorry technically speaking what is modern day three three ladies are going to tan at the beach yes neither are accomplished well two two of them are very disappointed when they realized that the beach isn't a water park yes the one girl wants a water park yeah okay not a water park it's just a lake well at least a wave pool turns out there is no beach there's no sand there's there's a there's there's like a muddy dirty grassy like-like-like Park it looks more like a river than the lake and nothing is what they say it is there's even have no swimming sign like the cameraman and the crew are blatantly in their reflection on the car Oh Jay could be worse I know you could just see down the farmer right there it's not the like Miami Beach kind of area that the filmmaker probably envisioned with sharks right so one of there are no sharks in rivers in Tennessee which is where the film this is a demon shark it can swim in rivers I can swim in water that's this it does but the shark swims in a chlorinated pool at one point it can go wherever it wants true true Oh God the most uncomfortable scene yeah everyone defend we'll get to that everybody which which one when the adult the pool scene the adult woman who may or may not be an adult playing a child or being an adult lingers is that is that more or less comfortable than the person who might actually be a child later on in the movie and the mall auntie can we just stop talking about the movie and for the mall outside of claim we don't need to keep doing this that's our job we do service to the community our demon-shark who is swimming in the muddy waters of tennessee bites one of the 50 identical blonde women in this movie which causes her to turn into a demon shirt I don't know if we call it a bite that must be a very tiny shirt yeah well she's getting pulled down by it before it even gets to her yeah it was like 5 feet of water I'm not filming at the beach there's not one nearby it's not a life-threatening Chuck wasn't anywhere near happened that's not even a was the best shirks we're buying the one that Steve just fell out and raised her leg and then and then they put fake blood on her someone stole this footage uh-oh I said no they totally from this information from the hospital yeah they don't just secretly walk whose mom were they visiting in the hospital right first for context the director Donald farmer Donald farmer old McDonald who has a cameo in the film as a TV news reporter oh god he is he looks like exactly who you would think made this movie Oh at last I thought he might be the cameraman for the ghost hunting show [Music] slackers like that you said that all the time right wingers handycam like it like a know overweight pervert but he sees an elderly Thomas he's an elderly overweight pervert Donald farmer it was always a pervert but he he got to the point where he was so old then eventually his money wasn't enough to get the babes anymore so he had to make a shark movie and that's the only way he's gonna look at at half naked titty flush anymore well that's it's important to point out his fetish there's no like actual nudity in the movie Ryan that's not his thing his thing is watching women in bikinis rise in the dirt live in the dirt really into sharks yeah and also vomiting [Music] there's something more sleazy about this then your than your movies with real nudity because he probably said oh there's no nudity don't weigh this yeah you just go in slim and whereas swims yeah to the point where like they wear swimsuits under their clothes where it's like oh I guess we're I'm just gonna be in a swimsuit now a girl with Down syndrome I have a swimsuit under her clothes yeah let's talk about the scene let's just get it all the most controversial scene well the premise her next victims at the playground we don't know if this was in a a grownup girl a grown-up woman playing a child or if the character was supposed to be a an adult with sentimentally channel and actually challenged because girl who has been slightly injured by a shark was possessed by a demon shark lures her to a pool simple demon demon shark lady tries to seduce her she does sexual things either towards a child or to someone with mental problems low and also wore a bathing suit under her clothes at the children's playground yes yes yeah none of it adds up all problem all bad why not do like a lesbian thing like come on let's go through wedgie sexy right but is she supposed to be playing a child yeah I think so and that's terrible no I think even worse I think she's playing like I think with mental yeah I think she's supposed to be that's [ __ ] up yes especially since there's an erotic element yes Robert Robert farmer Richard Varma or whatever is name is an old father Donald farmer stay away from his productions I'm sure well actually this is 2015 released in 2016 he's probably still making movies right now he's working he's working on his big octopus film Oh No so many suckers there are girls being born in Tennessee right now that are that will appear that someday we'll be in a Donald farmer film he'll be 78 in the dirt you're possessed or whatever well we got to talk about the the ghost whackers show where let's part the whole thing were the actual plot of this movie was only like 40 minutes long and there's a lot that just feels like it was added on after this is one yes oh no those walkers came in he came in early but it had nothing to do you know the only thing I was added on was when he was filming a 11 year old girl literally added on goes whackers came in early if that subplot doesn't affect it doesn't go anywhere I really want to be the actual show was just heard that face in the camera for like minutes on end the actual shows the back of her head yeah if you say this to her cameraman he can edit it out it's not like and how big he is do you think the actress forgot which camera was the real one cuz they were both that same little hand yeah yeah she just like look at this woman and Donald is like I don't give a [ __ ] like if I got out yeah just right there okay don't pretend you possessed me we gotta get through this to the puking see regurgitation that's we only have two minutes to film this scene before the cops show up I'm on Elissa Spica ball having this honor show is is even despicable yeah the fact that we're giving this guy attention I know I feel like we're on a list can we just real quick just say don't watch shark Exorcist yes yes this isn't like oh this movie so bad you should watch it real quick don't watch it we all felt bad watching it no no this movie has no nudity and it managed to feel about 10 times more disgusting than the two other movies that were filled with nudity yeah oh yeah that was tasteful nude yes as you know it is fine yeah elegant beautiful sensual loving I mean compared to this was like the disgusting filth taste at the bottom of the sewer yeah it was it was the worst thing I've ever seen I think was JJ you had a really great point where it's like this was there was no like story that they needed to like fluff up with boobies right this was nothing but women in bikinis writhing on the floor see what we'll see I was just thinking well why are you started talking yeah like we've seen movies right where it's like the filmmaker is a pervert and it's it's ladies showering and running around in bikinis this is not sore two below well some of those that's like well one at least they're shot on like film at least I have a story writing they have characters I mean this is like a home movie basically yes but it's even worse because it's like okay you can't you can okay it's weird it's weird to say okay women in bikinis on the beach or showering or whatever is a fetish it's not really fetish it's it's just normal women in a dirty Park with sharks unrelated stranger taking pictures of them that has no payoff oh we gotta get to that she's not tied up well she was just doing that for the fun of it yeah hopefully holding her arms up there what the [ __ ] is happening the booze just stopped my shirt came out of your supernova someone went to Mardi Gras oh that feels like an ending it doesn't make sense but it is and this is where it really gets where it's like oh this is only 50 minutes long yeah we got to get the movie longer so we watched this very like muscular woman walk from her car and we just follow her down to the the not even the beach it's dirty dirt it's more dirt it's all dirt the exact same patch of dirt for the beginning of it problems it's that same perk the very same yeah but there yeah which means he lives near there Oh God he was under like parents probably bring their kids through there every now and then and he's somewhere nearby watching thinking about sharks watching the kids it's just families people [Music] and it goes on and it's like ten minutes after the story of the movie is over the story is done the story is done this is just a thing that happens [Music] [Music] what the hell is happening we are a filling time yeah they just ran out of movie this is insanity and this is pure insanity that creeper taking photos of her she wakes up he's gone she does scream at the camera because then the gun comes back which is probably just footage from the opening that they reused because you see you're stabbing off camera there's no connection between the two exactly and then more credits roll or no then the credits roll yeah Martin Scorsese thinks Marvel movies aren't cinema oh no we're just gonna get shots of aquarium Oh God wait what is this and then there is a mid-credits break where we follow what might be a kid or might be an adult I am I'm going to assume that this person is 18 or over because they had to fill out paperwork to be in a movie or her parents were okay with it so but we again much like the bodybuilder we are creepily following this girl through the mall but this is what I wanted to get to is getting back to the shark stuff we hold on her like pulling out stuff sharp yes and just like one after the other after the other and we were like what the [ __ ] is this anymore right then afterwards she has a little plastic shark that she's like rubbing on her body and yeah hissing and public you see like elderly people getting foot massages of the like bit of saws chairs behind her yes it's very bizarre she you're in a mall yeah I I don't know it's clearly not a movie anymore if it ever was it's not now the human brain can accomplish its like the vastness of the universe yeah I'm done I'm done we saw credits in this one now don't eat Laura out of thing oh I think Donald farmer is a man whose mother had a seizure while spanking him for watching jaws was he masturbating up yes you never know when those wires are gonna get crossed well I think the point being that don't watch shark exercise no do not support this film or anything this man does even if we've made it sound funny or weird don't do it it's creepy man do it creepy it crosses but it crosses that line in a big ol way we'vewe've we're different people than we were at the beginning tonight yeah we've we've seen the things we shouldn't see yeah yeah and that was shark Exorcist [Music] [Music] okay so we have seen in 3spooky move or we've seen two spooky movies we've see one legitimately frightening movie tonight ah so it comes to that time of the evening where we need to talk about the best of the worst I you know I rich well the last seven minutes of rock and roll nightmare not even like oh that makes the rest of the movie better that's fair absolutely fair J any thoughts on best of the word I mean it's rock and roll nightmare it really like the movies is somewhat tedious but that I mean to me elevated the entire thing yeah it's our whole nightmare that's the only choice really until until we go to Mike what what do you got for appreciated the bed puppet a beelzebub which is like rotate rotator cuff arm and the epic fight between he-man and and Satan and Satan but it didn't make up for the first 90 minutes oh no you're not really picking sure guys you might I do actually if you're picking shark actors just say do my it's my time to talk to be the best movie we've seen tonight know the best of the worst the the I I know most obviously knowing Jaco 90 percent 10 percent fun yeah a hundred percent whoa something else even if it was made by a Sikh it was it was new to the palate it was weird so for all fine horror movies in the last seven minutes when he turns into an angel is brilliant yeah what the hell is wrong with you I enjoyed it we all do we just talk for an hour about how it was the most uncomfortable we've all been let me clarify I've seen this I've seen this I've never seen this why this movie was made like the odd the story behind I have to go now rich which movie do you want to destroy because it's insulting on all of us so I'm going to destroy it I don't care I'm just saying like I I never seen anything like it I'm calling HR Monday morning I can't wait come back but well well what's your pick for the rock'n'roll in there yeah anything you want to destroy shark Exorcist okay Gordon let's sit down [Music] happy Halloween [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 4,025,363

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, plinkett, half in the bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans, jack-o, rock n roll nightmare, shark exorcist, halloween, cameron mitchell

Id: X7_ZU4dlqXk

Length: 82min 49sec (4969 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 28 2019