Best of the Worst: Twin Dragon Encounter, American Rickshaw, and Infested

and that was the real reason why i stopped appearing in red letter media videos for so long it was quite a journey oh hi jack oh hey mike don't mind me i was just writing in my journal what are we doing today well today we're gonna watch three movies three whole movies we haven't done this in a while we haven't just picked three movies to watch there's always been some kind of stupid gimmick or some kind of crap but today we're just watching three movies no spinning no spin no dropping no dropping just picking three movies three movies straight up we're going to watch them first up a lot of people might remember this movie from the plinketto board and you have a special story you've discovered this movie jack this is when we started doing best of the worst or when you guys started doing bestsellers because i wasn't in the first episode this was the first tape i brought in as a possible uh inductee into best of the worst founded in a little thrift store in minnesota twin dragon encounter twin martial artists uh who is it michael and martin mcnamara i'm so excited martial arts action explodes with double deadly force twin dragon encounter the the the cover is very uh suggestive it's the easiest way to say it get ready for some of the most spectacular martial arts action ever filmed it's questionable twin dragon encounter featuring unbelievable wizardry of internationally famed martial art geniuses michael and martin mcnamara identical twins who explode on the scene with twice the force and twice the non-stop action oh wow okay they're making big bold promises the twins head out for a peaceful vacation when they're beautiful girlfriends so it should be noted that the the producers possibly um oh the the writers uh the writers and producers of this movie are the stars of this movies that's why they have beautiful girlfriends and are genius martial artists uh let's see but their plans change drastically when a group of weekend mercenaries invade their remote island paradise so so they go on a remote island paradise with their own girlfriends yes so like they're like the proto bill and ted they just like they go on romantic getaways with each other and their significant others yes i love it all right i love it when the terrorists kidnap the girls the twins decide to obliterate the enemy since they are greatly outnumbered they must summon all their courage and apply their deadly expertise in order to succeed against the odds have a question i'm ready it's more of a bet okay involving all three of you are the girlfriends twins okay you guys be careful no problem grant's our friend there's a lot on the back by the way sorry we're just gonna get through this twin dragon encounter is an extraordinary martial arts masterpiece that combines awesome stunts staggering fight sequences and the doubly treacherous mcnamara twins to produce one of the most remarkable action films ever made unforgettable displays of raw power and high voltage energy make twin dragon encounter a must see for all those who crave excitement and adventure let's go this way did you fall asleep rich well that was twin dragons double encounter is that what's called that's exactly the name of the movie mike what are we watching next american rickshaw this is something i've never heard of me neither oh it's by sergio martino though okay who's that um do you remember hands of steel yeah that's the director of hands of steel they went this guy yeah the way is the the way take it back the way that is the way is not the ordinary way now that's a memorable catchphrase what after a stripper tricks him into filming a sex tape scott edwards played by olympic gold medalist mitch gaylord a miami rickshaw runner becomes embroiled in the murder of an evangelist's son when he inadvertently takes the wrong videotape oh so there's a sex tape floating around he wanted like tgif but god a sex tape with a stripper right on a on a miami rickshaw yeah um with the help of the stripper and an asian witch it's getting really good wait a darn minute uh edward sets out to clear his name while avoiding the assassin dead set on retrieving the tape i don't even know what a rickshaw is a little cart oh i thought it was one of those boats with the with the fan on the back what you mike i am disappointed with your rickshaw knowledge i don't know i don't know anything that's fair have whoever discontacted my secretary it's on your mobile phone it could be jason donald pleasance could not be more bored no i'll see you later he does not give a [ __ ] oh my god look at that grandpa oh nope he wandered mystical teleporting grandpas i didn't hear anything oh god you son of a [ __ ] jesus that our next feature film is phobe the xenophobic experiments the 90s diy cult sensation now remastered on dvd for the first time oh my god on glorious dvd this uh looking at these pictures on the back i am legitimately excited uh that light does look slightly dimmer i think that bulb's on its way out yeah it gets like slightly more orangey yeah right before it bursts well if the light goes out while we're shooting can we just be done with the episode 100 yeah i like it the light will go out and then by the time you get them on i'll just be gone we fear that this this key light might go out yeah it's possible it looks like it's on the verge if it does the episode will just abruptly end with no conclusion even if we don't get past the first film speaking of ending with no conclusion oh oh this is this was my first offering onto the plate of best of the worst say hey i found a weird movie two to add to the collection and it's been sitting there enticing us for the past decade we've teased it it's been on the plinketto board on and off the plinketto board so the big question is was it worth the wait trick question now leave her alone why don't you just mind your own business wow the story of twin dragon encounters is very simple uh this is the laziest of the vanity projects we've ever seen uh this is the vanitiest vanity project we've ever done twin dragon encounters is the tale of the mcnamara twins who are real life karate instructors once upon a time there was that soft plastic heroes of which like oh they're men real then we'll do the meaning of life celebrated martial artists what wait what so this isn't that [ __ ] hollywood [ __ ] these are the real guys yeah jumping jack [ __ ] they they just wanted to impart on to us that they were super strong the ladies loved them and they owned a boat and possibly an island and a kung fu school uh yes and two matching vans and a poster poster see normally in in the vanity project the guy who sees himself as the biggest badass in the world wants to be like in the action movie foiling this massive crime plot but this they they're so full of themselves all they need is themselves they don't need to be in an action plot we don't need a story there's us it's like an adam sandler movie they just filmed their vacation yeah there is no difference between them either like oh no personalization wise yeah yeah well they're both the most badass people ever they don't need any other characteristics just for a second they're either one which which one is which one it doesn't matter and yeah i'm gonna say one could like always wear a shirt but he'd never let that happen we're going to go on vacation with our girlfriend we're going to take some babes and wander around in the woods that's our movie i just i just spent the last like like four minutes trying to formulate a joke with with their two matching kung fu vans and vanity project oh okay you know what i just so the only thing you came up with is the idea of a joke it just didn't work and like i'm just like this nothing's firing in my brain it's been rotted to the core by it it's been a rough night all these movies tonight your efforts were in vain that took five seconds mike it's it's it is a quintessential dual vanity project okay oh those guys are looking for trouble yeah you're just waiting for that waitress to go away so they can make some comments hey you better drink your milk and cookies boys so you grow up nice and strong the guy that looks like a mack truck shut your mouth hey you apologize for calling me a mack truck maybe i'll drive you maybe i'll drive you maybe this is a gay porno this is how canadians insult each other they leave in their their twin vans and then they stop at a diner to get coffee and immediately a table of like dudes are just like we hate you we hate you we get a classic canadian insult here apologize for calling me a mack truck well the insult that starts at all is you look like you drink milk and cookies that's right they call them like lit they kept they keep referring to them as like little boys or like young men which i think factors into the midlife crisis yeah it's like hey michael where it was the insecurity this year yeah yeah the insecurities that i was saying at a certain point in the movie i was like these two were probably picked on in elementary school yeah they're horribly overcompensating now but but the just run of the mill like you know redneck guys at a restaurant are just like insanely jealous and angry at them they want to insult them because they're there with their ladies and they're getting coffee and they're all happy oh they're so mad and jealous because they're so [ __ ] awesome and they have to pick a fight did they slow it down because it came out awkward yes one wide shot wow they even threw the first punch i was just about to say that they are they are committing battery and assault and one one comment about cookies they were not in physical danger these guys didn't even start a fight they just walked outside with them oh that was so awkward they slowed it down because it came out bad explosive action well this is when we get the dramatic contrast between how awesome these guys think they are and the execution of the actual fight scene which is embarrassing and terrible and to be fair they go hard on the fight sequence on how awesome the fights are on the back of the box yes yeah there's lots of hyperbole going on they sell it get ready for some of the most spectacular martial arts action ever filmed apparently the mcnamaras thought that they were too fast for the human eye to comprehend their awesome kung fu moves so they in post slowed down the footage you say that i think it was a desperate attempt to stretch running time well that becomes clear later on that that was an issue too because we actually see at the end of the movie they still have more time to film yeah and by the time the credits start it's like the movie is what an hour ten something like that yeah yeah so what they do is they just condense the movie and play the movie again this isn't a roll call also this is just re-showing footage this is shots of the movie well you gotta stretch it out it's gonna be every time they kick someone this is just like leftover footage oh look it's the fights oh it's in real time oh oh yes and it does it looks better much better yes that looked like a normal fight that was fast but it looked decent so you you get to see every fight scene again but in real time which is a weird decision if you're trying to stretch the running time you think they would just show it in slow motion again or show other scenes in slow motion why not or show them in real time during the movie and in slow motion during the movie wrap-up because the fights looked better in real time they did they might i don't know anything about martial arts they might be good at it right they're clearly in shape right they're good at possibly doing their their kung fu but they're not good at translating it into a movie oh he hit him right in the head kicked in the head oh my god that teenager is getting beat up he didn't even do anything he just works at the dock oh this is just this is and it's clearly a post-production decision because it wasn't filmed in slow motion it must have just looked bad i don't know or maybe i thought it was really better in but see okay in real time that that all that would have been two seconds that's when you need like a master director or filmmaker to come in and they they went okay guys everybody come out and here's how we do the scene i kick you you kick me and we're done and then and then you need a filmmaking a person with a filmmaking brain to come out and go oh wait no we've got to make this like eight minutes long right right because and then this happens and this happened and you cut to here you shoot it from this angle it'll look like your contact right and then you have to you have to repeat this and this guy gets knocked over a garbage can and he gets up and while he's getting up you guys are doing they didn't understand any of that they just choreographed the scene and they just did it in 10 seconds and it happened and it was over and i i think that's the real case is later on when they put the movie together it was 40 minutes and and they stretched that i'm sure as actual martial artists the mcnamaras are very talented but like being a precise and technical martial artist does not look cool on camera no um that being said they clearly thought they looked very cool so that's why it's funny can we talk about the the log cutting scene there's they're using our rickshaw to cut wooded back and forth they got their they got their foot up on a log just like heaving back and forth on this giant log just oh brother to brother gut to gut oh yeah it doesn't help that they look like every 70s porn stars oh come on guys we want to go swimming so go swimming we've got work to do so join us there's the water swim why aren't we the gentlemen us gentlemen i've got work to do go swimming enjoy it come on martin i think they're in love with each other well yes okay so imagine this imagine you're incredibly vain and you have an identical twin yeah you could you could not be attracted to your brother exponential yeah uh vanity and so you know you look at your you look at your identical twin and you know it's a reflection of you and just go you're beautiful yeah beautiful beautiful together it's like feet it's a feedback loop the only person who will meet up to you your standards is another you yeah yes and they have another you but you have to cast girlfriends because you gotta have girlfriends because you're the coolest because they're not gay it doesn't count when you're twins it's just that's just that's just a super masturbation yes but but the the their their over compensation for their i guess what would you call well not i guess it's literally homosexual well they're over look at that the guys are still chopping is this the scene where you guys uh chop the wood logs you guys want the ladies here for the scene no just me and my brother facing each other yes in fact can we get the women out of the movie somehow maybe they get kidnapped oh that leads to the biggest laugh in the movie you are out of the room for that the ladies get kidnapped and they're putting together the clues of who might have kidnapped the women certain soldier jake smoked these things check the cabin our post is gone that got a bigger musical sting than the girls getting kidnapped that's that is shocking yes what happened you missed the ultimate the ultimate act of vanity yes because the bad guys when they kidnap the women also went through the cabin and for some reason took a poster of the mcnamara twins to like poke at at the back well they kick a they kick a hole in it at some point even you know they're so awesome even the bad guys can't resist taking their posters yeah and so they they figure out that the women have been stolen you know what have been really great is if the mcnamara twins got kidnapped and it was the ladies who had to go save that little twist i mean like you were you were throwing things around about something about finding the the ancient diamonds i don't know anything uh my grandfather told me he he hid buried treasure in these woods oh and then the monster i got the clues to find it but we gotta solve the clues and the militia says we need that buried treasure to fund our weirdo militia oh we're both working towards something [ __ ] no like the mcnamaras don't even necessarily want to sleep with their girlfriends there's nothing well we know why that is he's literally sitting on his lap it's better for me if i lean back they wanna they wanna get their their atv that vibration going their girlfriends get kidnapped when they're out on a canoe ride together shirtless that's right they are not separated from each other they're in love with themselves oh they have no personality to distinguish them from one another well yeah or no personality they are absolutely identical and i think that's what they like about each other that's what it comes down to and i think that can uh answer a lot of like this this movie for a uh for a vanity project is shockingly chased like there's no like male game we cut to the atv scene again sorry that's a problem when that's the most sexually charged scene in the film yeah is is shockingly heterolyte chase like you know usually like you get a like a shot of like the girl taking off her shirt with the bikini underneath yeah it's incidental footage for women in bikinis exactly so it's like a documentary like we just captured it while they're panning the shirtless men get more shots of my pecs every shot of the girl is like oh yeah here's the girl here where she is every shot of the mcnamara is just like oh it's shocking but once you realize that the only thing they care about is this hey okay one of those things for no reason on their magical island they have weapons of war hidden under like camouflaged netting we've got machine guns we've got an atv we've got a tank we've got a rickshaw a rickshaw we've got a rocket launcher classic water rickshaw and they even have like camo yes now a classic 80s movie would be a well-armed militia with with weapons of war guns grenades blah blah blah are defeated by two guys and their only weapon is their karate knowledge right and they're ingenuity is that deadly prey classic stuff they couldn't resist though we know karate we are buff we have ladies but we also know archery and we also know guns well even though even the one part when one of the girlfriends ends up fighting we they they very specifically cut to flashbacks of the mcnamaras telling her how to fight because that's more important them explaining the fighting is more important than her fighting jay they also have to advertise their karates i guess that's a part of it too well you know like sure she beat the bad guy but the real victory because they trained here exactly jack exactly they're the real heroes they're real men just like the opening credits crawl tells us yeah yeah this isn't that [ __ ] hollywood [ __ ] those [ __ ] hollywood action heroes you know who wear the camouflage and bust out their guns yeah that's right yeah this isn't a movie like that on he can't get away okay bye [ __ ] you [ __ ] your trauma what did we even come get me out of here what no no no what the rest of that summer god that's fun that's not how you end a movie now i know we've used up a lot of our brain power on this and we still have to go through american rickshaw oh no yeah i know i just thought about that but i wanted to bring up one thing i'm ready the real life martin and michael mcnamara this was an interesting bit that we looked up afterwards was they there's a song in the film it's like a cheesy 80s rock song fight for your right to fight and a lot of their motivation for probably making this movie or or getting involved in uh i don't know media or whatever they're doing is uh canada is really against like like cage fighting mma style fighting and they they really want people to be have the right to fight yeah and i do canada outlaws it's to this day yeah i don't follow mma fighting and so i'm and and you can go to twin dashdragon.com right now to read some of the history of their battling the government for try to read it the website's a little broken is it is it canada or just one specific like province ontario okay it's hard it's hard to read but apparently they there's been some governmental pushback on like regulations for an arguably very dangerous sport sure um and they have been trying to fight that they're fighting for their right to fight legally fighting yes the underlying uh theory that there's a conspiracy involved in the the upper echelon of the canadian government that's stopping canadians from punching the [ __ ] out of each other want to legally beat the [ __ ] out of someone else in a cage but but they already have that it's called hockey boom hey you apologize for calling me a mack truck so mike what's a rickshaw that's a really good question jack and now i know the answer did you honestly not know what a rich i didn't know what a rick shaw was no i'll be honest there's a famous seinfeld episode where kramer starts a rickshaw business he's running around new york episode i don't remember the name i speaking of older men dating younger women you didn't want to share your birthday so you burned his ass you killed him hey scott don't you say that don't ever say it again come on you're strangling me so anyway so rich uh why don't you explain american rickshaw to the best of your abilities rest of my ability we went this is pretty extreme whiplash because we went from a movie with no story to a movie with way too much story so it was it was narrative whiplash yeah american rickshaw oh my god is the story you can do it we believe in you as i say it's about a man who drives rickshaw but really the centerpiece of the story is a ancient chinese immortal witch who is picked up by a man in a rickshaw who was born on 6666 which means he has the power of the tiger and there's also a tv evangelist who is evil and seduced the witch to steal her magic immortality bull statue which made the witch become old that is going on and then he also had a kid coincidentally was born on 6 6 66 only he was evil he was an evil pervert who liked to film people having sex without their knowledge for no particular reason he decided to steal the ancient [ __ ] his father also stole and he put it in a safety deposit box in a train station and he kept the key on a chain around his neck preach on brother everything you're saying is absolutely true the heck is going on here and then one day come on what he was come on he decided to film one of uh his perverted films uh he used the rickshaw guy to lure the rickshark guy onto a yacht filming the rickshaw i found out ago he gave the ancient chinese witch a ride on his rickshaw my cat and i have watched over you since your birth and then she sent him an ancient chinese tale come on in the mail come on with a note a note that he never read because his neighbor who was having an argument with her husband distracted him and he dropped the note down the stairwell into the garbage and i guess he was just too lazy to go get him too lazy to go down and get the node and we still to this day don't know what the notes were the evil other son who was born on the same exact day who's missing a phone call he was missing a thumb for no reason used to across town which he heard on the boat somehow and that made him look in the closet and you know he didn't hear the guy in the closet he heard that he still found the evil son which caused him to immediately turn around and punch the woman he was about to have sex with right in the [ __ ] face and then he just beat the [ __ ] out of everybody in this guy in which i think you know kind of disproportionate about a violence for what happened but he beats the [ __ ] out of everybody and then he goes home well no he tries to take the tape because he's upset that they were making a sex tape without his hat the sex tape but for absolutely no reason the evil son switched the sex tape with the all-important tape of him explaining what the key hanging around his neck was that opened the locker in the train station to the evil bull stature which we never get to we never get to hear the contents of that tape no we never get to hear the concept the sex tape and the switcheroo tape both are mcguffins this is the only thing connecting you to the dead guy and we're going to make it disappear what that's the most efficient way you can think of to do that it's going to smoke rickshaw man steals the wrong tape which was switched out for no reason goes home and then his roommate convinces him he has to go back to the boat to get the right tape so he goes back to the boat and finds out that the evil son has been murdered by hands of steel at which point the ancient chinese lady cat freaks out and the boat burns down with him on it she uses their magical wishes powers to burn the boat it's not sure if this is done deliberately or if her powers were just out of control it's not clear what the heck is going on here what what ignites the boat a quick aside uh our hero rick shaw guy i don't know his name was a guy olympic gold medalist mitch gaylord something gaylord yeah can we call him rick shaw hey i approve okay rick shaw steps on broken glass with his bare feet which cuts his foot which causes blood all over the all over the interior of the yacht right and when which lady she's she's psychically connected with him through the talisman or some kind of uh he's the tiger king and he's got tiger blood uh whatever and her psychic powers ignite the blood yeah and his blood is what starts on fire yes but not necessarily because later the witch starts another fire and there's none of his blood well in this specific case it was the blood that started the fire look this is ancient chinese magic okay unrelated fires also caused by the witches okay all right don't you bring in rationality but the the boat burns down then so then he jumps off a boat right as the cops are arriving to see someone jump off a boat but they can't identify who it was hands of steel is looking for the key so he can steal the statue back for his master who is the evil televangelist and so he steals all of the vhs tapes from the book and then he realizes oh no the the tape that i don't know why i know exists that explains what the key is is missing he didn't know he didn't know that he made a confession about the key why did he make a confession tape about the key at all it never comes into play purpose that mr thumbless his soul is is he a pervert because he can't masturbate because it's just not a thought i could still maybe you can still he has another hand i guess so yeah but his left one it's not the same he's an unrelated vhs pervert right become a video freak but i heard that jason morton was a video freak a video freak yeah or a sex pervert do you think it could have been a sex maniac sex maniac jay remembers all these things oh yeah all any of the the the pervert lingo i remember what he is is a pioneer because i guess porno didn't exist before then or he had some kind of special special fetish about his his own pervert like like voyeur thing for involuntary voluntary voyeuristic yacht porn if they made this today would he have a website called uh bang rickshaw well that's another question we had is is the rickshaw business in miami just a front for prostitution hey girls want to ride the american rake shaw hey babe right with me give me a discount i'll carry you my arms if you prefer bye see you later yeah because because the one of the other rickshaw guys is is very like flamboyantly gay and he's like he's he's approaching people to get on his rickshaw as if like a prostitute would approach uh you know a potential customer a john sir would you like a ride sure take me downtown take me downtown uh we know what that means scott edwards is considered a serious and hard-working kid according to his university professors and the rickshaw pullers i spent all night with the rickshaw rickshaw guy when he carries stripper girl to the yacht no second thoughts she's just like come on the boat and let's [ __ ] and he's like okay stranger she lures him in a little he's a little she lures him by turning around and looking at him again he doesn't respond like it's like it's like it's a customary it's it's a little easy to be fair it's just his roommate's job and his roommate can't do the job because his roommate broke his leg yes presumably having sex with someone maybe it normally is a sex thing but but because he's filling in for his roommate who normally does that job he just doesn't know that wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute there's another element to this mystic witch lady that we missed so the witch lady has a magic cat and a magic cobra do you remember how the roommate broke his leg i was breaking my neck to avoid their freaking snake he was running on his rickshaw and a cobra came out of nowhere and he broke his leg so the other person would have to take over for the restraint so she was pulling the strings all this time pull the strings pour the strings isn't that crazy and then all she needed was for somebody to get a key and go to the bus depot and open up the locker wow that's all this whole convoluted plot it's all about that you think she can't do it herself because she can't walk but at the end of the movie she gets up and walks yeah or she could well they had to get the key off the neck of the televangelist's sex pervert son it seems like there'd be a less convoluted way to do that so the cat could have stole it in the middle of the night but also it's a bus depot that is handicap accessible probably yeah it's all movies like it's a lot easier to manifest a snake to spook a rickshaw driver to break his leg so the rickshaw driver's roommate would have to take over the job so he could pick up a red-headed stripper to take her back to a yacht where she would try to have sex with him where he would get uh outed by the sex pervert who he would then steal the key off of his neck and throw it out the window for no reason so he would have to go back there later and dive into the water to get the key only to have it stolen by iron fist so then he could pick it up underneath the cat in the bus station right right he's simple as pie it's yeah it's a foolproof plan gotta back up gotta buy groceries we gotta pay them something wrong with this mic according to the movie the uh uh donald peasant used the boar statue to rise in power is he secretly it a a demon pig tell them sarah tell the man the choice that was just so clear in his throat he keeps doing this thing oh my god he's a pig man what the [ __ ] guys those are great reaction shots i i think that's the idea is just yeah he's he's he's evil he's rotten inside and so when he dies i'm looking manifest i'm looking at it too literally yeah look the important part is that donald pleasant starts winking and a creepy pig pops out of his skin and it's super gross we turned into video jerome for five seconds yeah after his wife shoots him to death yeah in front of the whole world he starts oinking they start drinking like a pig which we speculated may have been unrelated to the story that they had to work in what is your game killing people i didn't kill anybody you were there and you saw what happened you beat him to death i did not the guy was alive when we left the yacht i only told the police what i saw [ __ ] the cops are saying you saw me kill the guy it's a clear exchange of information i'm very happy about this let's get right down to the nitty-gritty explain your positions very clearly come on oh she's out of there why isn't she taking her own car he was the one that wanted to change cars what the [ __ ] difference does it mean to her because that's a better car okay uh we haven't talked much about the main plot of this movie go right ahead tell tell talk about the main plot because i don't know what it is what i'm saying is rich rich made a very detailed rundown which is a lot of only halfway through that's right that's right i don't even know if you got halfway you just got to like the first act well but you explained the ending stuff first which is in a different movie that would be the way the story is told so we understand what's happening oh yeah because we were confused the whole way through this movie and then at the end they dump all the information on you and you're like oh now it kind of makes sense in terms of us as an audience identifying with a character and or their arc i.e rick shaw well what the [ __ ] was i supposed to do just go ahead and let that porno freak film my bare ass they paid better didn't you know that no i didn't know that no rickshaw is just like a pawn in this other story so he's a bad protagonist he's our main character and he does almost nothing where is our narrative arc where is our plot that's the witch and donald trump these the b plot to this movie is our main character's plot which is him trying to clear his name for the murder of televangelist's son after an incredibly uh awkward and toxic love story i've got nothing to say to you get out or i'll scream you scream i swear to god i'm gonna stick you with this thing all right i found it in the gutter i'm sure you're familiar with aids yes all right i'm sure you're familiar with aids found in the gutter that's a decent threat that's not bad drive the car or i'll give you a it is bizarre oh yeah that is rich italian look all i know is that this couple they overcame a lot of obstacles he threatened to give her aids she threatened to accuse him of rape take it easy you make a move and i might have you arrested for rape jesus he did just flat out belter the first time they said oh was that a flirtatious line yes yeah that was yeah that is alerting with the idea of race are still yeah you're right they had quite the roller coaster relationship this is marriage story all over it's yeah yeah she threatened to accuse him of rape yeah but no you're incredibly right he has no uh he doesn't do anything he's a stagnant boring protagonist rick shaw he saves the day in the end when the bad guy gets himself hit by a trunk oh my god oh somebody ran over a dummy chinese mysticism turned him into a dummy yes this guy is useless literally she just needs someone who can walk that's his job you have the power of the tiger i'm in a wheelchair yeah and the bad guy we got hit by a truck because the witch made a snake appear she also made him so he couldn't hold the key the witch did everything the witch did everything wow oh god that's cool why did that happen the heck is going on here she made the key melt through a guy's hands and land on like a tile floor and melt through the tile floor yeah but she couldn't open the safety deposit box in the lobby liquid magical powers yeah well it needed a key to be fair my dear friend my name is madame moon i am the woman you helped in the rain about six months ago read the [ __ ] read it who cares about these kids pick up the nose what the [ __ ] i just read the [ __ ] don't that's all you got to do starring uh olympic athlete mitch gaylord i don't know if you know this about mitch gaylord he is in the olympic hall of fame he is in the jewish athletes hall of fame and he according to imdb trivia invented two moves to be performed on the high bar in the gymnastics competition both named after himself the gaylord flip and the gaylord ii the the gaylord flip is of course when you when you take a straight boy and show him a good time and the gaylord ii is the mcnamara brothers there you go is when you is when you go on an atv ride on a three-wheeled atv with one seat so moving on to our third film uh phobe the xenophobic experiments mike what can you say about what we watched to fold oh i could say that it was boring and it it sucked uh jay you said this was recommended to us by this was recommended by colin from canada yes and which made this two canadian films tonight right right right sandwiched a canadian american sandwich literally american but but uh the backstory of this is some girl erica benedicti in the 90s made a movie who worked she worked at a canadian television station public access tv station made it crappy uh diy science fiction film for like 100 bucks and it played on canadian airwaves for years to fill dead air yeah and so it became a cult sensation as claimed on the back of the box uh so colin maybe has fond memories of it but we don't it's it's on that horrible feeders level any any any movie on on that level of amateurishness it needs something special to be worthy of discussion yeah like like the black cobra versus the white fox that has that that's something special similar level of production but it's so crazy yes this this is we got in there was like 15 minutes of two rednecks with mullets wandering around the woods and then we were like we're done there was some kind of alien mask and monster there may be later in the movie there may be a really amazing laser fight or something i don't know we couldn't get there we did yeah we're like we're done so what's the radio for let's just so i can call for some backup so i can fool my world and that way once i catch the fold i can leave this planet and hopefully your world will be safe forever we had to stop it because we couldn't [ __ ] take it anymore and we replaced it with a movie that we had watched on a previous movie night just a few days earlier just a little bit earlier infested a movie that we just watched that we were we were we were kind of hooked on we had a lot of let's say questions questions where do we start infested is let's get the story out of the way first the actual plot of the movie okay it's the big chill meets night of the living dead meets what was that one with the bugs in the 90s the killer bugs arachnophobia wasn't there i guess wreck phobia is a better choice yeah well the idea of because the yeah they these you know this group gets together for a funeral and they'll hang out in a house that's the big chill element and then yeah flies get into their mouth and it like takes over their bodies right yeah they turn into a little like bug zombies yeah effectively they turn into zombies yes and that's that's uh well that's uh specifically i was thinking of night of the creeps that's their little slug monsters in that but they get into your mouth and they infect your brain and they control your body and you're basically a zombie cindy brad's here a couple of generico horror movie premises mixed with some some 90s drama rom-com premises friends gen x commentary when is the last time any of you listened to one of these babies yeah there's a couple of late 90s early 2000s things going on and all cell phones huh how about that i can't get a signal like that's the biggest starting point which is this looks as if it is an episode it's like a halloween episode of friends that is the budgetary feel of it the movie opens with uh two tickets to paradise by eddie money all the landmarks of new york city in 2002 um you know there's radio city music hall you know there's uh times square there's a bunch of smoking rubble there's uh and then and then we discovered during this montage and yeah everyone's what is so funny nothing nothing's funny what is any money two tickets to paradise is a good song i don't know what the [ __ ] you're laughing at two towers two tickets to paradise is it all connected two dragons twin dragons oh my god the mac manera brothers cause 911. the macrame brothers this is a horror movie really yeah you're infested you're right is this is great the one where the gang runs into killer box but everyone's getting phone calls that some something has happened they look devastated by and i guess that's supposed to be a amusing contrast between the two tickets to paradise song and them getting the devastating news that their friend is dead yeah is that intentionally funny i think so okay that's that's another question should be a literal ticket to paradise like kevin yeah i don't know you're reading way too much into this they went on the discount website to get the cheapest music rights guys we can get the real eddie money what's the way out what's the cheapest real song we can license thanks google eddie money will will sell you two tickets to paradise for a sink license to your feature film for 500 bucks did he have the any money two tickets to paradise deal where you get two any money songs there aren't too many money songs in the two films to paradise okay now this is immediately 100 times more interesting the big question is is this a comedy yeah yeah yeah that's where you were leading yeah is this a comedy and why are these specific actors in this i i think it's a horror film that's meant to have comedic moments similar to like a shawn of the dead but not as comedic as shaun of the dead right because shaun of the dad's a real horror movie it's just also really funny and this has a couple moments that feel like they're trying to be kind of winking at the genre a couple of moments but not enough not enough um but then going into the actors yeah that's the real mystery of this film is that it's so cheap but it has a lot of not a-listers but a lot of professional actors solid tempt yes and they're all they're all given at their all and not necessarily like washed up talent who are like drunk on the set there's no donald presence in this film something wrong with this mic you've got tom paris fresh off a voyager he hasn't been he hasn't been out of work for five years and that voyager money's drying up he like just finished filming the [ __ ] series and he's on the set to infest it robert duncan mcneil uh zach galligan from gremlins uh amy jo johnson who most people will know as the pink ranger and rich you you recognize the guy from v that was the most [ __ ] amazing it was driving me nuts we watched this like a week ago and like i know him from somewhere and he kind of looks like the actor from the daredevil tv series but a little bloated you said that and i thought oh maybe i'm just thinking of the daredevil guy and then just out of nowhere it [ __ ] hit me because earlier today jay you mentioned that you have the original v-midi series on dvd somewhere yeah and i haven't watched it yet and that was in the back of my head and i just made the connection isn't that amazing when that happens yeah come on eric can't you just live in the real world for just one [ __ ] second just one what you mean the one where the government actually respects human life and where they never ever ever experiment with deadly viruses oh yeah i would love to live in that one jerky can we figure out these three guys they're they're taking it seriously they're all trying everybody's kind of trying yeah and before we get into the really one more actor oh we have one more actor yeah who's our other actor and we happen to have an official rem lazar i don't think it's official i don't think that's an officially released action figure it has our logo on the front of it that looks just like remote oh yeah keep away from small children and acetone so this is something a fan made for us that's great but we have a rum lazar action figure now uh rem lazar was on a wheel of the worst episode yes uh yeah that was a week yeah and it's a creepy uh uh pilot of a children's show about uh i'm not 100 sure what the [ __ ] it is really [ __ ] weird yeah so but the actor who played rem lazar appears in infested jack mulcahy is his name that's right jay uh so you got tom paris aka robert duncan mcneil zach galligan amy joe johnson aka the pink ranger for the power rangers we got the kid who was in v we got rem lazar and then and then we have 16 other white people uh ladies that we lost track of is that the same lady a lady with a wig on a lady who goes swimming it's never explained the wig by the way obviously a wig i assumed at one point she was gonna get like the bugs were gonna eat her hair off or something there'd be some explanation as to why she's wearing a wig and it never happens jay she has cancer oh her dying wish was to be in infested well you did it she wanted she wanted to be in a movie with zach gallagher zach gallagher is gallagher's younger brother yeah that's the guy who smashes the wall he smashes gremlins with a big melon but listen all these other people who knows like there was that guy we looked up i was like is that guy and ben and stuff and you looked him up and he's like oh he's been in he's working these are all the chin are all like they're all on every tv show every year lady with the wig lady with the curly hair even the the priest at the beginning he's in a bunch of darren aronofsky movies so that leads us we have we have a a cast not necessarily like an a-list all-star you know power or house cast but people who have been in real things in something that looks like a made-for-tv sci-fi channel original shot on vhs yeah it's it was shot in film we looked it up after the fact you're right let's go to the car with torches flights kill him fire's gonna scare this [ __ ] up let's make some fire oh he you know he fought for that one come on let me say it i want the camera to push in yeah and i want to say [ __ ] yeah here's here's my first speculation then are these all people who just know each other in the business and just as a lark let's get together this weekend and we'll make a movie well there is a connection because the movie is directed by a guy named written directed by a guy named josh olson who right after this movie wrote the critically acclaimed david cronenberg film a history of violence which is the last movie released on vhs you're making it look like it's about that specifically yeah this is a vhs tape it's also twin dragon encounter yeah no but famously the history of violence was the last movie to be mass-produced on vhs but josh olson uh is you know he directed this film with zach galligan but he currently hosts a podcast with joe dante who directed gremlins oh i don't know so he apparently knows people in the industry and zach galligan appeared on an episode of star trek voyager and you can only assume that the convention circuit would feature amy joe johnson and tom paris is the v guy also doing that low end convention circuit no that could be i was in v 30 years ago he's doing commercials for viagra viagra close your mouth i love like i just i think this is a fascinating idea it's like what if we shot a horror movie all during the day in one location fifty dollars it was like a bet with the budget of one episode of a television show can you do it uh what's his name josh olson yeah josh olson can you do it and then you know like well we're playing this on the sci-fi channel like yeah you got you have 50 bucks was there a bet because we speculated on a bet and joe dante is like kind of like like he's smoking a cigarette he's looking over his shoulder he's like no no no no got a little more blood there well joe dante's like i started out with roger corman i know i can make a movie in a weekend he's off to the side judging whether or not what they're making qualifies as a good enough film the because the movie is consistently competent it's bad but it's never it always feels like it's about to fall into like amateur movie territory but it never does they were running out of time when they did the effects it was like it was like 11 p.m on sunday night by the time they got around to the cgi flies yeah that's that's where the movie falls apart it's those post-production visual effects are [ __ ] terrible didn't we theorize that the we think they had a bad fake head so they blurted out so it wouldn't look as bad sure now it just looks horribly distracting add add motion blur to it make it look better yeah the the really strange thing about this movie is it takes place like at noon it's just during the day and so some of the horror elements come across as comedic yeah well that also ties in with the idea of them having to make this movie over a weekend because you know obviously shoot at night you need lights it takes time shoot during the day you don't have to worry about that you just use daylight i think the the biggest and and most i think most shocking thing is is the level of quality even in 2002 of the swarm of cgi flies and i never thought i'd say that sentence in my whole life we're talking about 2002 40 years after steven spielberg made jurassic park this film came out right and steven spielberg wowed audiences with a real-life tyrannosaurus rex and in 2002 they can't even get a swarm of flies correct and then the cgi guy had three days to do it it makes sense okay if if they spend 99.9 of their budget on everything else and then just said flies how hot could that be and then oh my god you want how much money to do swarms of cgi flies oh i thought it was good for your price for one fly i didn't know you needed swarms it times it by a hundred thousand oh my god you want eleven hundred dollars but but yeah yeah oh god oh it's so bad it's so bad well it's also confusing we were talking about the fact that most of the movie was shot during the day and we discover at a certain point that the flies die from the sunlight almost instantly almost instantly even though from any light even lamps did you see that they just flared out yeah maybe maybe it's the light even though they're flying around in broad daylight well let's see how the first scene where we see them they're swarming they fly out of the infected person person's mouth during the day yep they added that plot element later that was something they thought of later in the weekend yeah do you think it was lynching and they were writing it as they were shooting it it could be i mean if you only have a weekend you just got to keep moving nobody none of them made it under the box before it connected with the floor apparently not not even one later in the movie tom paris saves himself with a cardboard box yes disgust a couple of the the flies get into that box but not surprisingly few uh it is the this is a refrigerator box because his career is on ice oh damn that's cold uh what a cheap ass movie like a literal cardboard box is a prop how cheap was the talent relative to the rest of the movie is the question that's that's the big thing around this movie is you know the the the bar graph like like budget to talent or what you know they're getting paid they're getting paid and they're getting paid pretty well comparatively to like like a a no budget like uh me and my friends shot this in my backyard kind of thing which is which is what the movie has the feel of it has the feel of even though it's shot on film there was some thought because there's like uh the the ticking clock element is that the sun is going down and when the sun goes down even though these bugs get killed by light of any kind even lamps if the sun goes down they're going to get us but there is i think there's a throwaway line in there somewhere all they need to do is cut the power then the sun will be going down soon now if they're smart enough to disable the cars they're smart enough to cut the power in the house but there is so the sun is going down throughout the movie and you do see at certain points there's like pretty harsh light coming through the the windows there's longer shadows going across like the living room so there was some sort of thought put into like where the sun would be at that time and they did the lighting accordingly or because they shot this in a weekend the sun was just actually going down when they were filming the later in the day stuff does look better than when they first arrived that initial outdoor fight when they're first infected is so bad we speculated uh selling this uh like a cheap cash grab to sell it to the sci-fi channel for like uh you know uh uh we we made just a little bit of money we're done we're out yeah what what do you guys think put it on put it on a dvd it's on the shelf on blockbuster oh i know those names i'm going to rent that movie i know those names are their names on the cover i no no not no faces no names they were selling this 100 on the bugs what the [ __ ] it's nothing but fun it's got to be sci-fi original then they have to be trying to sell this to a cake but there's boobs and f-bombs what if this is just a passion project for josh olson what if he really wanted to make the story this very original and very creative story but it could be the the cart going before the horse as the saying goes don't put the cart before the horse rickshaw before the game show before the gaylord um yeah good good one jay uh uh uh the the the the movie rental houses that be said can you provide us with a film in 60 days that we could put on our shelves here's here's 500 000 make your movie we don't care what it looks like we just want content and it has to have three or four main names boom done look out i'll jump but only six inches unless you get me a stunt double we'll put it in slow motion it'll look great we learned it from these canadian twin filmmakers it's too absurd to be true but the thing that almost makes the most sense is the high-end version of a 48-hour film challenge but that is way too absurd to be true yeah in the real world it's not it couldn't happen where there was a literal bet going back to roger corman that did happen the original little shop of horrors was a bet feed me mark all right i bet you you can't make a movie in two days i think it was because they had some sets already existing challenge met yeah that's possible we don't know joe dante lost a lot of money watching the watching the production [ __ ] they're gonna they're gonna pull this off they're gonna they're gonna fail when it comes to the flies they're gonna fail they went for the oh they got it done it's just competent enough just enough yeah no cut out and cut out the swears and the boobs and sell to sci-fi later i guess sci-fi passed that's saying something we can't crack it we can't crack the code why does this movie exist if you know why this movie exists please contact us yeah well we're at the point of the night where we pick best of the worst uh we'll start in the end rich i think i am going with american rickshaw mike uh well i loved every movie with except for phobe i i love little things about everything but i i i have to go with american rickshaw as well not only for the stunning 2k transfer from the original camera negative yeah it looked great uh it's amazing and it's baffling i i i have lots of questions about that about that infested movie i have so many questions you'll never get answers but the thing is infested isn't it's not terribly entertaining to watch no which is why it's not it's not hilariously bad it's not you know it like we said it's competent so it's one where it's more we're just fascinated by why it exists if you're just falls between the cracks of all the usual best of the worst stuff yeah it has a weird placement american rickshaw yeah nobody's running around the woods in american rickshaw it's wild it's a wild ride american rickshaw absolutely i'll say points to infested for engaging us in a different way but uh i will take demon pig bursting out of human skin american rickshaw gets my best of the worst then it's unanimous i loved american rickshaw that was one of those where have you been on my life moments i was like this is great well well the question is do we want what's the worst do we want to destroy anything rich so come on but we can't destroy foe we didn't watch it that that breaks the rules that's what's on the table sir except for the rumble is our action figure i mean no one obviously we're not going to destroy that if phobe is off the table we're not destroying any of these these are all great in their own right i for one want to take twin dragon and counter and break it in two i saw him two so we have twins sawed into with an actual rickshaw which we have mike that's not a rickshaw that's a rick saw oh rickshaw a ricksaw that's pretty good it's pretty good you just pull that h out and you got a rickshaw oh well that went much easier than i thought it would eh hey i'm gonna get fit a son of a [ __ ] you

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 1,679,899

Rating: 4.9373965 out of 5

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, plinkett, half in the bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans, twin dragon encounter, twin dragon, american rickshaw, phobe, infested

Id: -F0jtrV3RxI

Length: 77min 19sec (4639 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 10 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/toxicmischief]

The Black Tank Top Theory still stands!

[u/Tarlcabot18]

"It doesn't count when you're twins - it's just super masturbation!"

-Rich Evans

[u/lenflakisinski]

That bit of editing out all of the spaces when Rich Evans explains the plot will never get old

[u/Mr-Waffles]

"Drive the car or I'll give you AIDS!"

[u/Tarlcabot18]

Whoah, Rem Lazar appearance out of left field!

[u/Tarlcabot18]

Aw yeah, some late-night BOTW.

[u/Araneatrox]

Yeeeee!

The return of Jack. And it's a regular no gimmick Botw. Nice

[u/spartandano]

"They STOLE our POSTER!!"

[u/PietroPuppeteer]

Love Collin in the end