Best of the Worst: The Black Spine Edition

testing testing okay my mics good Jackie got levels check check check right you're good you're good all right so we're playing into the bridge I'm ready to go yeah yeah oh just quick note before we go live make sure you don't talk about that thing that everyone is really upset about this week yeah yeah you know you actually know what let me go to the bathroom first okay oh hi jack hey Mike welcome to another episode of best of the worst Oh actually I was just about to start a stream what hey did you notice the little red curtains here I oh I did so tell me all about these curtains well do you have any guess of what could be behind the red curtains a very tiny one-act play that's a very good guess jack but you're wrong oh let me explain as I opened the tiny red curtains tada that doesn't look like anything Mike well it looks like a bunch of VHS tapes but none of them are labeled I don't understand what the bid is no this is the very first ever black spine edition of best of the worst which is even more random than anything that we've done before because not only could these be a movie it could also be a blank tape it could be some weird porno it could be some kind of conference or lecture from 1992 anything it literally could be anything this is exactly what best of the worst has been missing more randomization and and more nonsense and terrible terrible videos so Jack I guess you'll be the first oh my randomly select a tape I'm so excited I and literally to our audience at home this is not staged I just want to reiterate that these tapes I don't know who put them here maybe maybe rich I mean I was like like oh this is something weird let me just put it over here but no one remembers what's on this shelf and so this isn't a bit it's not set up these are all funny things we don't know what the [ __ ] is here and this is our way of finding out is why not do a show about it right instead of just looking at them if one of these tapes happens to be a grandma who has recorded episodes of Bob Ross right you win the day if that just happens to happen without a that would be very amazing coincidence wouldn't that be great like but like that one of these could be like a home movie from one of your home movies it's possible positive we don't know anything I'm gonna go kind of you know write in this do they have front titles we don't know oh God the first tape is black Street boys [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] so is this supposed to be like whoever's watching this they're under the assumption that you know who these people are no this is a tape introducing themselves they're doing a bad job of it and they're doing their best this is they do their comedy shows yeah and they sell their tapes afterwards I think you know this is more for getting gigs I don't know if this is like a skit in context with the video yeah I don't know what's happening a clip from a short film they did years ago or what what is what it is I think they paid a homeless guy to hold up a sign for them yeah yeah he's a real homeless guy yeah I think that isn't real this guy well that was a success our first pick I remember when we used to watch movies and not just whatever random crap yeah I know it's unfortunate but this is the way it has to be are you ready to pick our next tape British but Mike you insisted on doing this we have plenty of movies to watch I figure we had too many movies we can watch some of the movies no I think it's one hour if we watch random unmarked tapes and our audience would enjoy that more as well ready to pick the next VHS tape rich I guess not that one oh god not that one it's gonna be a snuff film isn't it oh it has a label Oh God oh no oh God um beverage customization seminar what's the year from 1998 now is it about beverages or I think his name was just beverage as if I customized beverages I'm really confused alright rich why it's starting to watch done done beverages customization seminar we almost watch cribs today we could have been watching cribs right now quit complaining three hours in 42 minutes sudden listen son you know Michael do whatever you want to do whatever you I did with this episode and he specifically he went out of his way he said he wanted to make us suffer it's like he just he wanted to take everyone else down with him this is Mike's 911 so I don't know what the issue is here I don't know why you need to talk about it for three days clean it up watch watch something the Burger King for a long time okay I dropped that energy for this presentation for one I went out for crying out like we've been on all the members of the restaurant sir do you know we spent 42 million dollars yeah do you know that people are pulling through that damn rezard yeah do you know that 70% of the time the whoppers served cold yeah yeah yeah tell the crew to push the whopper button Zella crew have pushed a lot their button get a whopper button you gotta push it or off your whoppers cold that's a great idea I'm gonna put that a t-shirt will solo with the lovers you got to be proactively good by the way I'll never forget you Manny Garcia [Applause] [Music] [Music] Dodd beverage works for a secret Endre 90% of all their printed literature dealing what they perceived to be decay or a deficiency of knowledge DK ey - the sub value of x x FUBU well Don beverage sure does know how to throw a customization seminar how many times have I said that before so we got you a third one yes technically we do three I was thinking of six but we'll stick to format the first two were short we could we could do way more we could we could continue to watch all of these if we really wanted to that's not a bad idea we could leave we or we could leave all right we'll do one more okay that's your pick J and your instinct says pick from the middle but nobody no no I actually I was going to pick this one I think because it isn't a case it's the only one in a case which makes it special so maybe the contents of the tape are also special let's see is there a front thing no there isn't okay so this adds an extra layer first is dramatically pull it out and now I have to dramatically pull it out of the case it's like opening a Wonka bar plymouth international ice spectacular oh the word spectacular is in the title it's another short one though alright so we got that going which is good let's go watch Plymouth international ice spectacular and I'll meet you I'll meet you over there okay okay don't run away Oh get back here you [ __ ] you [ __ ] I got your car keys I've got your car keys you [ __ ] [Music] planning for this highly organized I spectacular because they're looking for sponsors should be hosted by down beverage sanitary facilities keeps going take that home with you get your name on a toilet get your name on some band-aids the national reputation of this event the media attention it generates the enthusiasm of the townspeople and the throngs of people attracted by the unique nature of this outstanding I spectacular make it particularly valuable to sponsors like use at the professional level prizes include cash tools and trips a grand prize is awarded to the first-place winner the student and professional competitors also select a card that's staged like dining outdoors of the snow as the I spectacular continues to grow it attracts nationally and internationally renowned ice sculptors you can be a part of what has become an international event we are now officially the Plymouth international ice spectacular [Music] says it was canceled a year later I think that's the unknown [Laughter] we should point out like I guess you kind of did in the opening but this is true is that we've had these tapes sitting on that shelf for a while and I think the whole idea was like these don't have cases these don't have labels we're just gonna stick them here and we'll do something with them yes cut to three years later we forgot what they were long enough times past where we forgot what any of them were and there's a retest of figuring out what they are is not just to look at the sticker and throw in the garbage which is what we probably should have done but it's to physically watch them and record ourselves watching them and turning it into a show that you the viewer must endure I mean what a first tape is I took control I was gonna do it everybody wants to do it every episode what's our first tape Jay you were all rambling so much that I just did it black Street boys is our first tape Jack Black Street boys oh my god what is this tape about by the way pre-emptive you're welcome for having Backstreet Boys music stuck in your head for the rest of the day and hit it just enough not to get flagged black street boys AKA two's a crowd yeah it has booking information on the front of the VHS which I'm sure has been blurred out maybe I don't know do you think they're still desperately clinging to their AOL email address we don't know we can't aim them anymore aim is dead well let's let's send a test email just to make sure it's an active accounts though and don't the email got bounced back okay it's inactive so it has booking information so we can only assume this is a demo reel of some sort of variety acts the that features dancing stand-up comedy some sketches but it's like a three hour demo that's just way too much [Music] [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] we ran into a game gang but the game they were expert night what were they call bunny rabbits that's right yeah yeah I'm done normally a demo real for an actor would be like here's five or six different projects I was on a student film a little bit part in CSI Miami where I played like a homeless person on a bench or dead body that's the you know that's what Daisy Ridley did before Star Wars she was like a dead cadaver lots of different projects that actor or actress has been in and it's it's three minutes tops you do the best stuff up front you kind of trail out with your crap your student films and then at the end you show your headshot and your contact info three minutes maybe two if if it's really good one but these guys had a little story line going on and and the production quality was all over the map the only thing that was legitimate was a TV show on Nickelodeon from the early 90s which only Jay remembers from today nobody remembers the show but it was called roundhouse and the first time we see them dancing I was like that looks like the set to roundhouse right and then it turns out it was actually roundhouse I was just thinking it looks similar but it's so much higher production level than the rest of the video okay well don't forget about the other little bit with high production quality where the nurse was so hot that she made the dead bodies get up oh yeah yeah with a cameo appearance we decided it's Charlize Theron because she refused to show her face out of embarrassment sir like that's probably a big-name actress now turns out it was we looked it up on IMDB but we've had other jobs that weren't so successful I mean we did one job we was the hospital guinea pigs let me oh it's so good this camerawork is better yeah sure face nope oh this is for a thing this is for like a TV show this is a little more per dude this is better produced yeah so you just now want to show her face so bad stand-up comedy bad sketches good dancing racist stand-up comedy oh yes yes they they have all sorts of colorful characters that they do on the stage [Applause] these videos were supposed to be sure [Laughter] [Applause] [Laughter] I just walked in would you like a back with that oh no I believe that's supposed to be Indian yell people come in all the time give me water but if I were to say positive they they have incredible dancing talent yes very good and I say they say if this was 1992 and I can tell them a message focus on the dancing and then there they're like live performance stuff where there he was riding around in like a little tiny tricycle and they're trying to do it was one you realize that they were desperate it will try anything it's smelled of desperation they're at like the State Fair Ottawa Canada there's just a whole bunch of white people and they're like you ain't never seen black people from Compton and there's like oh we we a bit like confused Canadians in there like everything's on dick - the dancing the depressing thing what's going on here it's just one depressing it's it's like it's like a slow fall this videotape it's like it's like the House of Usher or just collapses over time because we see a date in this when they get on the street performing it's 2002 yes my camera that looks like it was from the early nineties but it's a 2002 we know that the nice-looking dancing that's what show that aired in the early nineties roundhouse and that's stuff look really nice yeah so what we see here is early on nice production value good dancing TV show then we're all we're gonna be where it's about the TV shoot of organ where it's of student films now you know quality student films I don't know now we're Jonah should he stand up oh now I can't get booked in any clubs that were just out of the [ __ ] streets the height of their success they look like they're they're between 16 and 18 and the low point of their success they're 25 to 30 and they're their Street hustling Canadians oh oh I don't want to book these guys and that's that's not the reaction you want from a demo reel to be fair I can't imagine there's much upward movement in the world of b-boy dancing that'll be State Fair [ __ ] dog in Ottawa right your face you read out a confident look or just in your face NWA stop I'll bite your nose off like Mike Tyson you stupid mother baby baby baby shut the paper just dance this is like embarrassing so moving on the next tape that we watched in this horrible failure nightmare experience was Don beverage 5 198 customer ization seminar is that a word that must be word I trust Don beverage he's a he's a man of confidence that Don beverage he's a [ __ ] lunatic he's a confidence man is what you're saying he's a confidence man yes but rich tell us about Don beverage Don beverage is I'm not sure if he's a con man or weirdo is both feasible he's some kind of corporate shill guy who does nonsense motivational speaking for like low-level managers yes for coffee franchises yeah yes he's a very passionate man and if you go back to that operation and execute and implement and apply QSC and eff you own the damn market qsr quality service cleanliness and friendliness that is the business he exudes friendly push the whopper button for [ __ ] sake [Laughter] he looks so so friendly there I think you would point it out that it feels like he's doing the motivational speaking in an environment where he should be giving advice about how to run your business and be successful it's like a weird contradiction you cannot sustain a competitive advantage in product or price and the businesses that fail and the people that is this is like it's like a doctor gonna like walk in front of the screen and start talking about the symptoms of some kind of cognitive disorder these are the signs this benefit in some new bagel and some new ice creature done beverages disease or what if this is like a social experiment where they get these people in to watch the seminar and then they just have this guy rant about nonsense to see how long it takes for the past thirty years no one has his advice so they're just making notes still and somehow become the world's leading business experts why does he keep talking about bagels I looked up dawn beverage yeah and he was he's not just a fraud he's written about six seven eight books about business he was I don't know if he was a CEO or he worked with many businesses and list them so did he have anything to do with any companies that involving bagels no we got bagels Wow that's shocking loves bagel that man loves to talk about bagels bagels and whopper buttons well we'll get to the whopper button yeah tell the crew to push the whopper button bagel is his word for widget I think yeah we get you into bagels anticipating bagels you're ready to go I told him we had bagels I'm gonna give you bagels okay bagels I know he's he might know something about business but it certainly isn't communicated in this video I think it's a fraud in the sense that I I don't know what these people are getting out of the seminar as far as practical advice goes because he doesn't he doesn't seem to stay on any consistent train of thought that oh yes yes I get what you're saying he has five minutes of material that he's selling to these people in an hour-long lecture basically he's a cop he's counting these these poor saps this could have been distilled into a [ __ ] one-page pamphlet we should note it takes place at the Showboat Casino Hotel in Atlantic City New Jersey so we often have next to his head as he's babbling on about nonsense showboat it's beautiful yes as he is sermoning to the public let me tell you about business not not just you can do it you're the boss you're responsible you're the father to your employees and you can do it cuz your product doesn't matter you gotta have a good product but your product doesn't matter as long as you're clean well-organized be well organized be a father your people your product doesn't matter so it's gotta be a good product participate if management the problem is a deficiency of execution application and execution and I'm having one hell of a time driving that home to the owners of these stores you think we're gonna get smoothies ladies and gentlemen the third identity is also you it is Clark Kent tell me something in what city this Clark Kent live come on metropolis thank God my friends haagen-dazs said Gotham City they submit it one day and the bankers are banking the tellers are telling and two hooded crooks from running into the bank they go bang bang bang teller dies underneath until president dies underneath tell Chris go bang bang bang as soon as the crooks leave with the money president comes out they need to tell he picks up the telephone naturally living in Metropolis who does he call why don't you call Clark Kent over here mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent picks up the telephone he says Clark Kent he says I'll see if I can get ahold of Superman he's not a comic book expert oh no apparently I want to know where this analogy goes he's got them silly looking blue tights now you know it's Superman cuz you sit in front of wind that flies out the window see the crooks running down the street runs the creek goes bang bang bang next the hell other crooks puts him in jail tell me something what are the police in that town doing they're eating Donuts hopefully what's he getting at that's what I'm waiting for dude Krispy Kreme they're eating notice lettuce jelly take it all with you lady you understand supermen destroy businesses supermen destroy people this is the man what is he [ __ ] talking about okay so so number one why are they calling Clark Kent a mild-mannered mild-mannered news reporter about this problem right I really thought the analogy was going to be that when you're the employee you have to have like two distinct personalities that you put on for different situations like you can't be the Clark Kent when you're doing the discipline you got to be Superman when you do the discipline but other times you got to be the Clark Kent the mild-mannered but no he just wanted some rambling think about how Superman was making lazy cops cops are eating the doughnuts they're busy in the doughnuts had many acronyms many analogies many metaphors and none of it made any sense I said why he said we spent 40 to $15 the people are poured through the damn restaurant and we found out we have three major problems I said my god what are they he said number one 70% of the time the whopper is served cold I said you are yeah he said I'm gonna bring in all the members of the managers of the there's too many people don't cook the law purse but boss he said to keep the store clean I've been keeping the store clean no one sometimes you gotta be a policeman execute take the whoppers out of the freezer execute rule number one in business how does the customer see you and my friend if the answer is ice cream sounds like it's like a character on The Simpsons or something or the office or parks and rabbit on a TV show like it's done beverage but the funny part is whatever that character would be on any of those shows would be done beverage this is him he's real and he's beautiful and he knows all the motions he knows what a motivational speaker is supposed to sound like how does the customer see you my friend when those people come through that damn door and when you advertise and when you market every person there went there just to hit the tables and the slot machines after is over we're leaving thanks Don roll them bones they lost all their money for their small business here's the deed to my Dunkin Donuts no that wasn't other strategy because now they have to work much harder to earn it back Don looks over their shoulder that was a bad business investment we got bagels so moving on to our third tape our final tape of this black spine collection series the first and last in its series we're gonna do it again was plymouth international ice spectacular well this is a tape from a small town in Michigan I think that has an ice sculpting competition every year and this tape is meant for corporate sponsors so they can choose to donate money to sponsor whether you choose to sponsor a specific sculpture one of the many events during the week of the spectacular a single sign or multiple signage in conjunction with the ice sculptures an event about people sculpting ice and get some advertising in this event it features people sculpt and ice change them oh [ __ ] it it's time that we talk about partners what partners what I'm throwing the whole black spine thing in the garbage this is now a spotlight episode surprise we're done talking about these terrible tapes that we watched in our black spine edition and we watched one of our favorite favorite B movies of all time a film called partners and which isn't which is in our secret b-movie vault like the Disney vault but for terrible movies that no one should ever watch it's kind of like suburban sasquatch a film that we've watched collectively many times before and enjoyed we've been sitting on this waiting for the right moment to spring partners on the world just the right perfect moment and instead we just did it because we were too bored with the other now we're focused on the void between two people they're walking too fast for my god oh the montage oh [ __ ] the drug ties remember this okay so how did we discover partners well about six to fourteen years ago it's somewhere somewhere in there someone sent us partners and this person claimed to have been a student of the director who was a film professor the director of partners was a film professor yes they taught at a film school about how to make movies yes okay this that's that's the least unbelievable part of the story and the director talked up the film quite a bit he referenced heat as as a film that's an equivalency partners well this is the amazing thing and re watching it tonight in preparation for this discussion there were so many things that I either forgot about or didn't remember or didn't see the fort like I don't know if we've watched this all the way through to it has we have I think the first time through we were just shell-shocked because you you you see the like a 180-degree world bing like just blatantly violated five times in a row and you're so shocked from that you it's it's violated in a way where you have to wonder if it's intentional like is this a guy like I'm gonna break all the rules as a filmmaker a [ __ ] dead tied and all you want to talk about is the same [ __ ] that we always fight about you know what your daughter asked me tonight that's crossing the line oh they're crossing the 180 line oh sure and it's it's very upsetting oh my god positions completely oh my sick cut back he's doing a headstand hey by the way he got up wasn't he got up from the far side of the couch somehow appeared on the other she walked around the room for some reason time travel well this is the thing is like now we've we've established that we think the movies bad we've enjoyed it over the years this is the point where we would normally say so let's talk about the story but I have no idea what the [ __ ] this movie is about it's a cop movie and that's it I think that's gonna twist all the way should be like a politician I think pass a bill alright there's a new hipster crime lord in town and he wants to take over from the old crime lords and so he has them murdered and now he's the new big crime lord and so the cops try to take him down and then they do and then they realize maybe too short is too short so now oh no wait there was a guy who was behind him who was the world crime lord and then he's murdered off camera by the hipster crime lord who actually isn't dead even though we saw him get shot because the movie was too short because though they may be senior no because he hired his own EMT an ambulance what who he's soul I've never seen a ghost before how are you how am I still alive it's a funny story you know you never tend trust anybody these days Kenia nearby I hired my own EMT and ambulance ticket Natalie they covered up his day use planning either planning to get shot because why would you hire an EMT and an ambulance that's some pre-planning that's how you get to be a hipster dry I hope to god when the cops try to fatally shoot me they only shoot me through right here instead of my heart or the brain something that an EMT could easily repair that I that I've paid for or let's a I really hope that they don't like not you me and just like tackle me because then arrest me yeah it'll just take me to jail and my whole ambulance plan will be nothing if they almost seems like they made that up as an excuse to have more movie after they decided they needed more Malloy what he killed Johnny chaos off-camera how do I know I can trust you now that petkins done with Johnny chaos Johnny chaos gets away and then we cut to the next scene and hipster drug dealers just like oh yeah I just shot him I don't think we should bother talking about the plot all right well let's talk about how the movie starts let's start at the beginning we'll start the opening credits sequence yes yes do you love Miami Vice do you like Michael Mann and so he has his detectives who we don't even know our detectives at this point as far as we know there's just two dudes driving in a car yeah I like to fist bump they do like to fist pump they wrongly after moments of awkward silence they're just sitting there in silence and then just out of nowhere you saying you have a problem we just do it but you are motivated to do it by the discussion underlay just happens every now and then oh okay if you just don't talk for like five minutes right you got it you gotta do something press it super game yeah I've never driven around with just a dude for more than like ten minutes without occasionally going like that we're all sits so homo so how about the credits themselves yeah we're talking about just the the titles in the computer this is the first thing that's just wrong well everything's out of order everything's out of order and everything's off-center yeah well no it's centered if you only have one line of text when it's just like the actors names it's centered but when then when it gets to like you know director of photography director of photography will be right in the center and then the actual name of the guy is below it because I guess they couldn't figure out how to make the whole thing centered 70% of the names is the director yeah over and over in the wrong order two camera angles by the wrong order you mean for an audience who may not know written and directed by or directed by usually it's the very last credit because it's the most important one you have written by a middle written by produced by directed by or like the last three credits generally there's some some very easily written edited produced directed by Peter James I go well it right in the middle and then it cuts to stunt choreography then after all these crew Ones then we get introducing and it's like an actor's name and it's like well aside from that being wrong like this is introducing all these people [Music] Oh we're all over the place they're both shooting the same person I guess what cause they're shooting the same direction it's a gift that keeps on giving it's like you see it and I've seen this maybe three or four times now new things every time yes yes and it's a it's a it's a joy yeah opening opening scene we have cop upside down badge okay so now what is all that tension lead up to and hard cut to something awkward why even faint out then oh oh oh like a triple exposure where we got such right now we got this gentleman shot in the head it's bad just upside down the titular partners meet cop and his badge is turned after many takes and no one noticed they go to a crime scene we have cop guy and his partner bald guy well guy and nice hair nice hair man they go to a crime scene and and there's a body there and and that leads them behind a generic caution tape caution tape book actually before you go too far in this we're on the first scene exactly exactly I do you you were about to you were about to leave the first scene and I are part of the roller coaster that is partners is this opening scene actually looks kinda nice there's there's some nice like brown stone buildings in the background it almost looks like an episode of CSI New York yeah a little video II I think there's a there might even be a there is a dollar yeah yeah there's a dog there's some production value as though glowing orange glow to the image it looks nice it looks nice and so after the baffling credits sequence it's like oh oh this might actually be a real movie but then then they start speaking I'm detective Christopher Perez and this is my partner Detective Steve Clarkson any idea why you were just a target of a drive-by after he pokes the guy with his pen they go to the police station aka my dentist's office and talk about their next move [Music] [Applause] [Music] this is like you know in like old detective movies when they go to the nightclub and there's but this is modern time so it doesn't make any sense but they've seen this in movies so they put it in their movie we get to the first I'm going to say like the first scene the first sequence where we knew that this was something very special the drive-by shooting the drive-by shooting a sequence of course because they sunny sunshine whatever her name is had a relationship with the dead guy like we think because it's all you know very muddled but so the cops are take her out to the front porch of this bar which classy bars have a front porch that looks like a house porch all the time all the time and as soon as they got out there the second they get out there there is a drive-by shooting [Applause] all right what lookout happens every night rich well the awkward editing around it - or you don't know who's shooting at what and then it's just over and everybody acts like it never missed it our cops don't run out did you get the license plate call for backup no just they shoot the shoot back a couple times anyway you know this man oh my god Peter what happened to him so that's what we're trying to figure out were you two seeing each other it's and to be fair like there's even so much just in the drive-by scene because I am 99% sure that the cop shoots first I am sure the cop shoots before we even as an audience know that the person in a truck has a gun and so why why is the cop shooting at this car oh wait the car is shooting backwards that self-defense are they're shooting at the girl the cop other cop dives on the girl and then everyone gets up and goes whoa it's bad editing and that's what it is because before we forget about one other magical moment among millions there's the assassination scene of the - Italian guy [Music] that [ __ ] good today [Music] Oh [Music] he starts shooting his gun he he shoots one of the mobsters the gun stops one of the assassination targets takes out his gun fires it and then shoots himself in the chest and they never show the other guy shooting again the gunman is done shooting into uncharted running away he fires his gun and then shoots himself and whether or not that was a really unfortunate ricochet or you just or or just terrible editing he bought those Australian bullets Australian bullets it's a really good rich [Music] [Applause] baby likes his flower maybe don't leave all this in like that's an outtake Ryan is clearly an outtake it's a method act oh it just kicked in all we want is some info we notice a heavy shipment of blow coming in we need to know where and when but the the dirty shoulder should be out of focus you know this is enough focus it should not be focused on the guy's ear that's in the foreground whoa oh look at how many bumps the iron back of his ear Oh he had his ear pierced in 1994 I can tell by the way that the technique was done you're talking about its so focused Jesus Christ I guess you can't get anything right huh wait wait wait you're talking about you're talking about spatial relations and an amount of room I just want to I just real quickly I wanted to bring up the the first interrogation scene with hipster coke dealer guy oh well their set was four feet of drywall and a conduit of metal a pipe an electrical conduit and that's all they had to work with and so that they show that guy and he's like okay we have we have four for you to drywall sit down here and say all your crazy liens and now we're gonna get all the shots of the detectives but they're like this the best part about that scene though is the desk lamp oh yeah this is a space cop comparison number one of at least two which is when you when you have the the famous interrogation scene that all these cop movies have and you have the overhead light that's like glaring down on everybody but in this thing they couldn't be bothered to do that or they didn't know how to do that so they just put a desk lamp and pointed it directly at his face frankly it's adorable stream close-up it's magic well the corkboard seen those it's talked about the famous courts and we call it the famous corkboard scene because it's it's the it's the best thing that we collectively have ever seen well our reaction to it in this was mild in our screening room footage yeah because we've seen it because we've seen it a number of the first time we've seen this movie and we watched the famous corkboard scene we laughed tenfold we might have had to pause the movie at that I think I threw up from laughing and the most important thing to remember is that this is not some type of routine operation to hear that sound effect yeah it was like a like a chatter of a concert the court bored scene starts off it's it's a it's a briefing scene and we know this not because the camera shows us a crowd but because we hear crowd noises obviously put in after the fat not like if it's a briefing room where you have cops not like general chatter of cops it's like it like an auditorium of people making noise it's like a circus crowds on the bottom you hear an elephant children clapping it's a completely wrong sound effect because it just shows the two guys or the one guys if we see the one guy and he's standing in front of a court board with one piece of paper on it that says Department of Buildings Department of Buildings we love this seems so much it's in we have the corkboard in space cop [Music] there's a couple different scenes where we have cop with hair on the phone it's always him right it's always it's always some he's on the phone and I guess they forgot to film the other end of the conversation or they couldn't be bothered to and it means Peter didn't die for nothing either that's going on oh no no they did it again okay what's on tape he could have deal with the face that's what you do you cut away everything or he just shoot the other part of the scene so he talks and then they just do a dissolve to his next line of dialogue Clarkson sunshine sunshine are you okay okay all right just hang on I'll be right there okay hang up right and it's not like they do something called jump cuts when you're trying to show a progression of a long period of time it's kind of the same shot but you kind of jump edit edit edit sure to show that a long period I said but but he fade cuts to make it look like it's a different version of hair cop coming from the past or the future and they're there phase alignment isn't quite in sync or they or they forgot to shoot the other side of the television and one of those memorable scenes took place when he goes and visits sunshine at her house and for some reason sunshine has wedding photos of strangers oh yeah in her house yeah they didn't just film in someone else's house and not bother to take down their wedding pigs which are clearly in the shop yeah come in the front door oh there's wedding photos of a strange couple on your wall right there in the center of your shot all I didn't notice maybe she just really loves those maybe their parents maybe uh maybe she's like a hipster and it's an ironic she found him in a thrift store she thought they were funny yeah yeah it's possible yeah we don't know that much about her character besides because she's in the movie for like five minutes and also the main love interest yeah half the time she's out of focus we learn more about kingpins girlfriend who turns out to be a secret cop once they realize I didn't have enough Moo has a horrible past of drug addiction I grew up in Miami and trust me a bad part of Miami most my life was drugs I was an addict really yeah who took a job as an undercover cop working with a drug lord who had to snort cocaine while in rehab for a cocaine addiction by doing a bunch of cocaine while she was making a bed for doing it for good she was doing it for justice I'll do cocaine for the right reasons Jay why don't you tell our audience what dead pixels are all right well that's when the image isn't working anymore because an image is just a ton of pixels and you have one of them that just goes out but that was that was one camera of maybe six there's one with really good depth of field where you and and it had that orange glow they they set up light and it looked like like like it looked good look like scene it's like a scene from a film characters in focus you have you have us a nice soft background and then they cut and the one thing that sticks out to me is the the introductory scene of hipster cocaine villain where he's in grandpa's office and Grandpa has literally grandpa's office it's literally grandpa's office because there's a framed like world war two is over like news clippings yes yeah news clipping it there's a bear rug on the wall he's like World War one statues on the this is grandpa's rec room no that's the drug dealer's room you can tell cuz the drug dealers in he's in there is really into World War Two memorial that buns with his character as a crazy drug dealer he's really into World War two he lived he lived in the house that had the grandma mirrors he's he's really the world war two memorabilia we cut to that scene that's it's completely out of focus there's the dead pixels that you can really see because of the giant black bear on the wall tank ever theory um Peter James anga he taught film and it was more film theory is Peter James I an go don't know anything about the technical side of making a movie I'm gonna hire one of my students to help oh that student had to leave and he took this camera I'm gonna have this student this student doesn't quite know how to focus his camera which is older than the other one he had to leave this other guy's gonna come in and help you know what I mean that makes sense where where it's like like but he's relying on other people with limited experience to kind of help cobble his Frankenstein's monster of a movie together and and they're all kind of like on the the adequate or below adequate little technical proficiency level I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt sure with with as far as the technical and the technical aspects because yeah you're sitting there and you're watching an entire scene that's out of focus and you're like okay he's not sitting there behind the camera going when he's sitting there behind the camera in those other scenes that are beautifully shot and InFocus I wouldn't go so far as a beautifully shot but they're competently relatively speaking they look amazing thank you relatively speaking to be complete out of focus like I'm on a soccer mom camera graded and what we're gonna call VI ingo curve the one interesting note in this movie is is with other low-budget movies of this caliber no pun intended the gunshots are almost always your plastic toy guns with a with a fake muzzle flash muzzle flash yeah here they were really using blanks yeah yeah you could see the shelves shells flying out you could almost see the the bursts of air on that and that one thing I eyed just know all right as an actor I would not let somebody shoot at me with a blank on a Peter James I n go production because your ass is gonna get Brandon lead and that happened on a professional production yes yes you're talking about the execution seen in the grandpa's office yeah yeah yeah yeah you're right which I'd be like if you if things can go wrong and a big Hollywood production imagine what could happen in the hands of Peter James I can go those blanks from loud enough and it roused the neighbors out of their slumber they were they were they didn't even bother to put on their shirts no I just wanted to come up and see what their neighbors were filming Jesus Christ I guess you can't get anything right huh what are you starin dude some what a camera then a mini look over there I got camera okay they're multiplying hot summer in New Jersey that era is bunch of shirtless dudes at the background staring at your production they're multiplying to be fair it's a big via cameras they're out they had a reflecting board that you can clearly see blows right yeah the wind keeps knocking it out so the face keeps getting illuminated and then not and so if you're if you're a looky-loo and you see like a big old deal happening you want to go out and poke your head out here's a tip though I'm no I'm no Stanley Kubrick or Alfred Hitchcock or anything but when when you're looking looking down the lens and you see a couple of shirtless neighbors you go like this or as an alternate you go wait wait wait or is an alternate you could look down the lens I made it I made a tremendous assumption that they were looking at the shots they were filming they were looking then as opposed to like but we have to assume that he he glanced at the lens at one point I don't like that assumption we have to if I don't make that assumption how can you watch this movie and make that assumption that is outrageous because even though it's not in focus generally the camera is pointed somewhat in the direction of whoever's talking well speaking of people in the background we have to talk about the special cameo appearance the opening credits a special appearance by should say special appearance by the script supervisor I've seen this movie like six times I've seen at least three and I don't remember hardly any of this script supervisor there's a script right yeah oh no she's gone she realized she wasn't shot she ran away and in this particular situation which is we're going to talk to the Rastafarian drug lord who lives in a crappy apartment yes I'm gonna guess and I'm gonna give Peter some credit that they only could film in a crappy apartment building and and and the stature of Rastafarian drug lord huh might be above that yeah so we're gonna show a fence maybe a little bit you what you here for give me you have weapons show me your weapons close up close up because you don't want to show the lady walking by the laundry basket you don't want to show like the cans of blood light on the ground the white trash guy and the wife beater smoking a cigarette you don't want to show all that because this is your Rastafarian drug lord yeah who's wealthy and in your script exterior mansion Sadie's bed mercedes-benz gold-plated fence yeah and I think I think yeah he his strong point is his carrot is telling a story and his weak point talking about on a on a grade on a grave this on the ia go grade the angle curve the weak point is the technical stuff anyway I'm here to tell you about my pitch for an exciting new film it's about two NYPD partners who work together to hunt down a psychopathic droplet bent on controlling all drug trafficking in this country they traveled from Miami to New York deep undercover to stop this drug deal these two detectives worked together with federal agencies and they tried to bring this drug ring to its knees and stop this mania from is hurricane in terror this is a story about Brotherhood and justice that's my exciting new crime drama film on pictures you guys thank you bro critics I'm working with what I got here I mean you're not wrong relatively speaking he's trying to tell us this story about two partners one one has wife troubles his wife says you work too much you don't care about our family I used to think it was something more you know but I realized you're just the same as they are they do it all for the thrill for the power for the hi you're no different than them you're just not a criminal the other cop is he was like I'm cop Ritz is checking out I'm what part and then at the end they have a little more like partners who are partners they they have a titular line at them yes oh wait we have a new development Wow believe us they found detective Dana's car flipped in a ditch in the side of the road [ __ ] what about is she okay [Laughter] you know this job may suck the pay is stress at least we don't have to go at it alone partners bodies by the way that character that we were just given a ton of information about five minutes ago as she's dead she dead oh and I don't new third bad guy who they just arrests and then the film ends they arrest him in a in a VFW hall he's introduced and arrested in the last five minutes of the same scene he's introduced and arrested you saw the very same drugs you see so you use pescetta son to the same drug dealers you took it from masterful masterful Church all that so the DEA is having his big meeting on a fold-out elastic folding table in tables with someone related to the production's relatives surrounding him because they all look horribly confused the lower thirds are in the viewfinder [Laughter] and they fade it out faster than her shot in the partners have had a long partnering and I go to the diner and we get we get a little a little treat little little easter egg a little director cameo yeah it's at the very end of the movie it's the last scene of the movie well it was obvious that this is a director cameo yes it was it was blatantly obvious that we had because there is a zoomin it's me oh and he's wearing a t-shirt that's clearly a reference to something some other thing he was involved with it pulls the paper down it's me what the [ __ ] of you it's the epitome of what makes a good bad movie the the clueless director the clothes director and a film that keeps on giving and that is partners there there's so much problem so much giving so much giving pump are probably so much yet to discover we'll probably only here grandpa starring in the background next time patience patience we love this yes and and we love it in a bad movie kind of way and we encourage everyone who's watching this program right now to find their copy of partners it's still available on DVD for about five minutes until this video goes up and then it's not anymore expect exorbitant prices it's worth it it's worth it and Peter I ain't go is still working we actually looked a lot more we he has a movie on Amazon Prime now that like it looks like a movie it looks confident yes we're like okay this is this is a movie we did to be fair we scrubbed through it a little bit we didn't have time to watch the full how I'm sure the movies terrible but it looks like a money if Peter Yenko has any sense he has done his best to scrub any trace of this movie guess what Pete start making copies you're gonna have some orders soon it's going in the b-movie Hall of Fame just accept that fate and make a buck off it right at this yes a ma we got a and I just doin generic game I'm a guy I'm from Jersey shut up my look we got to get those crates apartness DVDs out of the basement there weren't the food should mine shut up I know you're using them to hold the trailer my bi use a new trailer partners oh actually [ __ ] I gotta I gotta go I forgot something Oh what did he forget where is it going hey rich was a long bathroom break yeah I'm back all right all right was it going [Music]

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 3,285,587

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, plinkett, half in the bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans

Id: _igaLv7ro8o

Length: 69min 45sec (4185 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 13 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/acidmuff]

Tell the crew to push the wopper button!

[u/optiboptimus]

I love the idea that Mike just stands around waiting for someone to cross his path to trick them into doing Best of the Worsts

EDIT: BLACK STREET BOYS

[u/jet_slizer]

So BotW Rich and Previously Recorded Rich are confirmed to be separate entities?

[u/Doyle_Johnson]

From the Partners Wikipedia entry:

Starring Christopher Iengo
Budget $50,000
Box office $5.68 million

WHAT? 5 million dollars?!

From the Amazon reviews:

Christopher iengo

4.0 out of 5 stars
Verified Purchase

Good low budget movie

The star and director's brother bought himself a copy and didn't even rate it 5 stars.

[u/Obelisp]

From this guy in the youtube comments:

I can't believe you guys reviewed "Partners." I actually was hired as the original DP on this film and my oh my do I have stories. (Writing this as I watch so it may be a bit disjointed) In a nut shell, I walked off that production and took my crew with me after 3 days of shooting because it was such a shitshow. That's one of the reasons why the director's name appears in the credits for almost every position. With regards to the badge being upside down, Pete did that intentionally because it was a real badge on a fake cop. His logic was that no one would know it was real if it was upside down (because it would be "unreadable"). I shot the opening scene, the bar scene and one other (I believe I still have the raw footage) after that Pete took over and the rest is history. The drive-by scene was when I decided to split for good. There was no safety prep, no permits, no nothing. As a matter of fact a blank did actually fire out of the Uzi and scared the shit out of the crew. We were filming on Staten Island and a Swarm of NYPD rolled up on us after reports of gun shots in the area. Overall your assumptions about how the crew changed constantly is 100% correct. Anyway if you want some more info on the horror that was this production or the joke it became aftward, hit me up. I think I still even have the original script, complete with typos. Hopefully you guys see this :-)

Edit: AMA here

[u/Fuck-Movies]

That midpoint plot twist though!

[u/TCBrady]

That part with Mike chasing Rich and Jack wasn't a gag, it's found footage.

RIP Rich and Jack.

[u/steviestar3]

"This is Mike's 9/11"

[u/baapalmer]

Jack's wardrobe of Reddit-approved t-shirts must be bigger than a giant psychokinetic twinkie!!