Asmongold AMAZED By FFXIV: Heavensward | First Time Playing

and so they came at a friend's behest that's your boy our good man and that's it that's all that's left of the science heroes once celebrated as saviors of aorzia brought low through treachery their names blackened with royal this is [ __ ] up man with memories of the lost and dreams of redemption with hope yet in their hearts they came oh [ __ ] so this is ishgard to ishgard shining city on the mount overlooking the dominion of kurthus a great and proud nation devoted to helone the fury ruled by thor that's the god archbishop of the ishgardian orthodox church more like the illuminati in the midst of the dragon song war they came three weary travelers that's the three of us set in motion great change oh is this horse fart though no one knew then that's somebody else [Music] in the memoirs of account edmond d4 temps heavensward i count edmonto for tom to bid you welcome what up dude as wards of house for tom you shall be afforded every courtesy my home is your home tell us then master alphanod does eisenguard meet with your expectations that which i imagine pales in comparison to the reality i felt the weight of a thousand years of history with every step i took and with those steps took me past the scars left by the wyvernos and foundation i understood how easy it is how easily that history could end in tragedy the attack was devastating the casualties unspeakable the wyvernos did not discriminate unarmed men and women even children were given no quarter mayhap we could be of assistance my lord after all you've done for us we would be welcome of any opportunity to repay your kindness well i didn't volunteer oh [ __ ] i did okay never mind that was the most generous offer master alphenon your guests in my home to whom i have extended my hospitality without obligation let or lean nevertheless eisenguard's needs are great and if you are willing to aid our cause i cannot well refuse what do i have to do tell me what i have to do as for you master bald i could ask for no one better than a storied veteran such as yourself a man with the capacity to act swiftly and decisively when needed to aid and toriel and emmanuel lane in their duties [Music] i begged your pardon i am more than capable of carrying out my duty by myself i have no need of our honored guest assistants what a little [ __ ] [ __ ] shut the [ __ ] up hold your tongues by the fury the two of you will conduct yourselves with dignity befitting your station and show master bald the respect he deserves i've never heard something that's more true in my life absolutely count drip you'll land down the law if you can pardon them for their improprietary monster bald i should be much obliged if you would lend my son to helping hand yeah sure my thanks fury telling they may even learn something from you oh man that's right [ __ ] that's right [ __ ] yeah get deleted oh now brother clowning on the count let us begin a new master bald i am sir artorias defourtems eldest son of count edmont de fortemps you will uh forgive my outburst i hope i meant no disrespect i merely consider myself equal to the duties entrusted to me unlike some to the matter at hand then we will be assisting my esteemed compatriots of houses dune there and desmond we shall speak more of that ainon first we must take a secure transport to falcon's nest let us make for the chocobo stables and foundation all right let's see here where do i need to go chocobo keep all right you don't need to worry about directing the bird of course like all porters she's trained to carry you on your destination all by yourself so relax and enjoy the view oh but be sure to not relax your grip will you two hands on the reins at all times if you please what if i want to use my phone while i'm driving travel the falcons nest oh [ __ ] to the frozen wastes of the western highlands once verdant tracts made pallid by the calamity yeah this shit's [ __ ] up there could be treasure in that boat oh man beyond the towering wall of ice to lands if she was a cat girl the knights of ishgard strove tirelessly to reclaim damn to the hamlet of falcon's nest once abandoned now freed of its pawl of snow and ash he came they're all good man i look [ __ ] good look at that damn dude i'm ready to go to work man you know what i know it everybody knows it man pray forgive us for our lateness sir edge regiwald uh i present to you asman goldbald ward of house four temps oh of course lord dramat spoke of you sir reg wall to the house doon dear i do bid you're a welcome to falcon's nest we are both eager to contribute to the settlements restoration how may we be of service before we speak of that would it be correct to assuming master bald is unfamiliar with our recent history then with your permission i shall recount him the tale for his benefit as you may know falcon's nest was once a hamlet with a small garrison of knights and some villagers and then came the calamity when it became clear that the snow would not stop falling we had no choice but to order a complete withdrawal the settlement and the entirety of the western highlands were to be abandoned abandoned to the heretics lady iceheart and her kind have walked these lands with impunity ever since i but no longer the holy see has commanded the reclamation of the western highlands and the expulsion of the heretical elements falcons nest is key to accomplishing these objectives but yet as you can see rebuilding the hamlet will be no small undertaking any assistance that you can offer will be greatly appreciated we've lost contact with the reconnaissance party sent north to rivers meet in search of the heretics hideaway whether they were attacked or met with some other misfortune we know not but regardless of the cause we must act quickly for the harsh unforgiving land which can claim has claimed many the lives of men you and lord artorias will be working together oh good wow oh damn dude this place looks good holy [ __ ] and there's a statue but like every statue is of a dragoon i feel like i'm playing the wrong class wait can i jump off here yeah i bet i can alright artorias there are below us camp rivers made of what remains of it i see no way to send a clay stiffly from here should we fall the beast below would make short work of us come i know a path of riverbed below east of the bridge okay so oh oh you can't save me like that man like i would have been look nah nah nah bro i would have been fine like that guy saved me but i would have been [ __ ] fine save nah nah nah that's not it essentia hostile presence let's go pull that guy and i'll pick this guy over here there we go all right and we'll kill both of these dude i love this ability man wait what the [ __ ] oh there we go yeah like this uh this [ __ ] this line ability is so badass i think it's so [ __ ] fun i have a guardian angel yes obviously lost content there's no content that was lost there because i would have never died it's just uh it's ridiculous to even assume that i would die uh it's insulting even there we go we got it all right what does this guy want reconnaissance night party what's this what you want bro what you want bro are you all right it sounds like a struggle it was thank you thank the fury i thought no one would come what happened here sir is there no one else we are caught in a furious blizzard north of here my lord not of all white around and we still saw shapes moving around us running towards us with naked steel in their hands i cut down a few of the bastards who came close but the others they were shouting and screaming and after a while i could only unhear hear unfamiliar voices i found my way to the camp hoping to hide while the storm passed my ward the heretic hideaway lies somewhere to the north we must move quickly before the snow buries all traces of their passing for my brothers we must cough and wheeze or oh no not her again oh [ __ ] i swear to god if she walks past me again and i don't kill her i'm pissed i'm pissed like just like just whoop just hit her with the axe hit her with the sword man should you pick up the heretics trail do not wait for me follow it back to their way or fourth with and being sure to leave me some clear footprints i realize this plan may place you in considerable danger but i see no alternative yeah so they're just gonna let me die that's basically it you've gotta go find the [ __ ] heretics apparently we've gotta fight go find this new girl too or lady iceheart oh [ __ ] at the end of our hope double sink is in effect the track continues to the north okay now what wait that was it what the [ __ ] oh my god i can't just have the mini map tell me where to go and it you have to be able to use the compass too this game's getting hard guys i might have to buy a boost cold wind baiter what the [ __ ] is this oh wow oh i bet they're in the big house i bet they're in the big [ __ ] house i can't go in this one though what is this place oh my god i bet it is yeah let's go back over here oh oh here it is it's in here oh oh [ __ ] okay all right just a minute just a minute okay um can we kill these guys kill these we're good we're good we're good we're good bro i didn't expect that i i didn't expect that man that [ __ ] came out of nowhere what do you mean okay um all right duty complete we beat it we beat the game oh are you [ __ ] kidding me thank you yes looking for me i presume okay give me just one second i gotta i i'll be right back okay guys that's just i can't believe this all right [ __ ] what she want please kill her please just kill her the child who glimpsed the truth oh [ __ ] she's like what the it cannot be what the [ __ ] he cameth unto me as didst thou oh my god how is it that this little [ __ ] baby dragon is intimidating this girl i like in gifts to strangle the [ __ ] he speaks true warrior of light like you i have been blessed with the echo yeah i knew that it was obvious the visions terrified me at first they came without warning i wondered what i had done to deserve them i don't want to hear about a redemption story for her i want to throw her off a cliff but i had no time to ponder such things once the calamity came oh that's not good the land turned against us and in a matter of hours falcon's nest was buried under ten forms of ice and snow we had no choice but to flee for ishgard damn that sucks we came to the wall and while we searched for a way through there was an avalanche and then i was alone so i set forth for dravania i knew full well what might happen where i found but i could not survive on my own wait is she not trying to [ __ ] the dragons too is she i was found of course and not by a mere dragon but by the great worm race welker okay and it was then that i knew why i had been given this gift for with it i heard his voice and saw the truth through his eyes what the [ __ ] i was chosen to deliver this revelation to the people and should ever be she's just trying to [ __ ] a dragon that's all killing civilians won't bring them together true it wasn't supposed to be like that but it was you have to believe me it was beyond my control oh my god i swear to god i'm getting mad she lying she lying bro children taught to fear the skies you saw their loved ones slaughtered yeah yet the dravanians though they know where the fault truly lies who's that men die and their children forget but we are everlasting to us then is as now okay what does that mean canst not comprehend the violation the outrage the fury oh [ __ ] i will make this right i am neither a saint nor a savior just another sinner yet i will not forsake this cause i will see this cycle broken and peace restored she's trying to bring peace to the dragons by by having sex with the dragons man like that's what she wants to do that's all she wants to do this is that's all she really wants that dragon dick man i we can do not else for we are now as one no we're not come on come on no don't go oh my god he ran away what no sure brought her back to the fort what is this oh there's and where is she we just let her walk away master bald praise hello and you're alive we came as swiftly as we could but i see that we're too late so they were working in the cellar of this farmhouse it's a pity that lazy eye is hard it sure is a pity isn't it antares it it it really it really is a pity wow isn't that crazy how she just escaped uh you've dealt our foes a italian bull this day my friend and i shall see that your efforts are recognized [Music] yeah really how's that during your short time with us you and master bald have accomplished far more than i had thought possible i cannot in good conscience impose upon you any longer pray return to eisenguard with my thanks as you wish sir reginald i thank you for your hospitality e [ __ ] see dude there it is all right let's pray return okay now i've got to go talk to the uh to the little brother shall we be off then old boy the [ __ ] is this ah but there were my manners emmanuel aine de forte second son of count edmond to four attempts true born that is yes yes i know what you're thinking and you're absolutely right what ill fortune to be born second in a society where the eldest inherits all oh but my brother would never cut me off it's true but who could be satisfied subsisting on a meager allowance forever overshadowed by a sibling not i old boy not i which is why i need your help to ensure that this business of the sea clouds goes swimmingly so that the tales of my great deeds can win me a place in the people's hearts or better yet raise me higher in their estimations than antoreal ambitious i grant you but i do have a legendary hero to do my bidding huh wait i thought i wasn't supposed to be an errand boy what's this horse [ __ ] as for precisely what we'll be doing well what would the fun be if i told you everything in advance just come along to the airship's landing we'll take the airship to camp cloud top oh a new area are you ready to depart sir the airship bound for camp cloud top will be leaving shortly yes [Music] oh wow the sea of clouds this was in the cinematic i remember this yeah yeah this was in the cinematic the [ __ ] conceived within the second mind of sid garland renegade prodigy of gala mold who had come to call ayorzia home damn [Music] and this is our new area dude this place is [ __ ] awesome i love this place oh my god look at this it's like it's it's like the grand you know they've got all the little floating trees and everything into the heavens where isles of earth and stone floated as clouds the frontier the knights of ishgard had scarce begun to explore to a fledgling outpost within the sea of clouds where care worn scouts ever scanned the skies for winged shadows wow he came who's me who who's is he me i think it's me he can't i think it might be me dude okay dude my airship sucks next to the other airship oh my god this is embarrassing wait we're docking wait we're docking two airships on top of each other okay great oh damn look at me dude talking to me it's an uber yeah sure dude this place is awesome i love this okay awfully cold up here i mean karthus may not be blessed with the warmest weather in the world but compared to this it seems positively balmy and of course our hero is wholly unperturbed you don't have to maintain that strong silent persona all the time you know never mind we need to find lady lynette she's in charge of the garrison here just follow my lead all right let's follow his lead yeah this place looks great oh my god wow dude i can't get over how much i like this area this area is great man i don't know why it reminds me a lot of you know what it reminds me of reminds me like old school games like old school like fantasy games probably square enix games from like back in [ __ ] the 90s even it just has like that same like overall vibe to it of like just like all the the stuff floating in the sky yeah i like it a lot man master bald welcome i'm sir lynette of house alanard uh dylan helena commander of the forces uh stationed here at camp cloudtop strange though it may sound i've long dreamed of meeting you signer breastplate uh it's a pleasure to see you again my lady uh you cut off an elegant fit you cut an elegant figure as always a steel clad rose equally at home on a battlefield or in a ballroom oh god dude oh yeah oh wow what a loser she's not gonna she's not gonna take it would emily if it's not too much to ask i should be grateful if you would allow me to finish speak oh my god the music stops at everything oh camp quad top was established to provide early warning of impending uh dravidian incursions the high elevation afforded by the floating aisles makes it ideal for this purchase naturally it also makes us ready to forget are ready target for attack we're not defenseless however the protector our largest and most advanced airship is capable of downing all but the mightiest of dragons alas if you may have noticed it's currently undergoing repair what is worse our efforts have been hampered by an indigenous beast tribe known as the vanu vanu of whom we've had several skirmishes already no beastman is a match for the man of ishgard bring me a birdman and i'll show him i'll show him oh god dude this kid is just oh oh he mowed sadder sigh i fear much more maybe asked of you in the days to come master ball so she doesn't even look at him jesus man this kid's a and to think that i like this guy more at the beginning wow can you kill this no you can't okay it's just a oh that's spongebob's house oh my god wow it's incredible what an experience dude i bet people were so happy whenever this [ __ ] came out because this does seem like it's such a it is i mean it's purple yeah you're right it's purple but it's pretty much a pineapple guys like look at it is that not pretty much a [ __ ] pineapple i'd say it's a [ __ ] pineapple man usually groups on discord absolutely master ball of war to manual has been taken by the vannu they have my words surrounded a whole gang of them please you must come quickly uh oh oh oh that's what happens dude the [ __ ] dude the van who might have taken him into the village may have the president that her chieftain well i just run in there and kill everything it's fine don't worry about it yeah what's the problem here i'll make a case to roadhouse and tell lydia lynette what has happened yet by the time i make by the time i return with eight it may be too late forgive me for asking master bald but should you spy an opportunity to sneak past the sentries and rescue lord uh word emmanuel in my absence i beg you to take it i know he can be a trifle presumptuous and insensitive and well insufferable but he doesn't deserve this i don't know about that i bet i can kill this guy super [ __ ] fast look at this oh my god i'm not even gonna think about them dude i'm not even thinking about them dude i'm a dark knight i'm the warrior of light i don't need to deal with guards okay i just come in here i do what i need to do this is easy where they at okay asthma gold aspen gold i'm over here okay i'm gonna just pull everything over to me dude i'm gonna say [ __ ] it i'm gonna just go for all these mobs all at the same time literal god mode damager actual god mode damage look at this look at this dude look at this dude [Music] there we go and i just do like i do my big attacks there cleave down all these mobs oh my god that's easy dude that's a e [ __ ] z and y'all thought i wasn't gonna be able to do it phew yeah i saved you it's okay you are right now it was thoroughly unpleasant true okay um wait what the [ __ ] are these guys running to me yeah they are okay let's kill these right here parasocial relationships uh is it parasocial i don't wait oh my god he's here what the [ __ ] [Music] it's horse fart thank god and again i don't know how to say his name man like i don't have i don't have to say american names none of that french [ __ ] i've got no idea oh [ __ ] where's like the girl surprise [ __ ] anger of hollow chief of mighty vondo royals like blackish storm clouds what the [ __ ] who's this guy netherlands to the white cloud sea swells and he comes oh this guy's crazy this guy's nuts what the [ __ ] is he gonna die we're gonna die what the [ __ ] delta with five subs the white mighty bismark lord of the mists imma beat his ass imma beat his ass let me add him let me add him whale by the fury it's a primal oh this is what they're praying to oh jesus he's just running away we must away okay yo i'm ready to beat his ass like it just let me at him let me [ __ ] add him spin a deathwing it's okay i'll kill his ass right now oh my god dude this little stupid kid man he's gonna fall off i've been waiting on this one come on give him give him the little kick give him a little kick off the edge what's this oh [ __ ] is it typical all right we're going in oh wow it's sid what the [ __ ] i gotta they gotta ruin everything right yeah sid the mvp i could see it to be fair i'll oh wait i thought we're gonna kill him yeah i thought we were gonna kill him hopefully we have a high chair for him to sit in wait what a pimp he just jumped right over onto it god damn you're too low level nah man i i don't beat the [ __ ] out of him wait is this the whale uh yeah just just fly around the whale wait yo i thought he was about to eat us i'm gonna be honest i thought he was gonna [ __ ] eat us ward emmanuel used to be rather appears to be rather pleased with himself wait why very well i admit it it was an incredibly harrowing experience i could very well have died you know me dead on the other hand risking life and limb on the line of duty i did succeed in uncovering the existence of a new primal and that old boy is no small feat oh my god i have made a historic discovery in fact even lynette will have no choice but to acknowledge me yes i'm rather looking forward to basking in the sunshine of her praise speaking of which isn't it time that we made our triumphant return this kid is over the line man is he's over the [ __ ] line oh my god notice me aren't we forgetting something important lady lynette a little recognition for the hero of the hour a few choice expressions of gratitude respect and admiration and so on boy oh boy why yes you're right of course master ball deserves all that and more for risking his life to save such an esteemed personage very true absolutely well if there's nothing else to discuss i would depart for ishgard forthwith the holy see in the temple knights must be informed of this new threat without delay but of course master bald you've done more than enough here pray return to ishgard with ward harshfar to the airship landing then we can speak on this in a journey's home all right let's go back over there then sounds good to me oh no it's you uh you have to strike me so hard wait when did i hit him wait what father he did not approve of how i handled matters in camp quad top how i endangered the lives of others through my own reckless and incompetence it's not easy playing the hero is it oh what the [ __ ] wait count drip you a slap the [ __ ] out of him there it is man he he is the best country is the best there he is the hero returns i cannot thank you enough for saving young iman elaine's life of course aye aye he told me everything i know i've also received letters from both house sir mile and durander praising your conduct and that of house for tom you've won as much honor damn yo i turned [ __ ] around real quick man god damn he's drippilicious true i forgive the intrusion my lord but i i bring grave tidings oh [ __ ] what happened master alfino and mistress tatara have been detained on suspicion of fermenting heresy it's true it's true uh the whole thing's true uh this is yep the whole thing is 100 true uh might as well just string him up now and uh we just move on i've been waiting on this moment for a long time boys and it's finally here what explain what the [ __ ] yeah what the [ __ ] they were observed entering a tavern in the lower levels on some half dozen occasions but there it is claimed they made a number of inquiries okay asking questions means your inheritance which brought them into contact with certain um elements what the [ __ ] it was this which prompted a knight of the heavens war to demand that they be questioned sir my lord sagrino is a brute exceedingly accomplished brute but of brute nonetheless alas is also a son of house zamayo no [ __ ] we have to kill him how quickly we forget the petty nature of men absolutely this is no more than pawns in another of my countrymen's games such as the way of things between the high houses we're not getting caught up between game of thrones here are we you would do well to speak with ceramic of the congregation of knights most heavenly he would know what to do with these charges okay let's go talk to ceramic this guy's badass he's one of my favorites it's been too long asthma gold would this visit come under happier circumstances you were to come to plead for master alfinator mistress tataru i take it yes uh that sir grenoff's uh accusations are baseless i have no doubt refuting them will be difficult however as he is a knight of the heaven's ward i fear but there is but one path left to us we must demand a trial by combat i like the sound of this i like the sound of this a whole lot but of course in a trial by combat sanctioned by the inquisition the victor's claim is judge true regardless of the petition you're standing then it's settled i will visit visit master alphanaut at once and inform him of our intentions asman gold meet me at the tribunal whenever you've made ready until then my friend until then okay we are gathered here today under the watchful gaze of the fury to ascertain the guilt of two souls in a trial by combat petitioners step forward what the [ __ ] dude like this is bro this is like some straight up dark age like church [ __ ] look at those two dick boys look at those two little dick boys for the benefit of all here present i would ask you to repeat the charges which you have leveled against this man and this woman yeah exactly this is some [ __ ] it's some fake courtship brother of the heavens ward did bear witness to these two foreigners consorting with heretics i don't like this guy's voice i feel like this guy should be a 350 pound knight whose armor doesn't fit on him anymore and he's really he's got like a huge neck beard and he's just got like food in his beard too he's got his drink right behind him he can reach over the the little gate in between the court sessions to drink as well you know like i just i can't imagine them being some like you know really well manicured knight the hound no robert baratheon okay tataru move up so they don't know about this stupid you have heard the charges leveled against you they don't know this but the actual thing is i'm going to quit the game whenever we get to the trial of combat so tataru uh will die in the story and we'll also get the redditor out of the way at the same time it's gonna be like a two for one will you take up arms to refute sir gruno's plane and thereby prove your innocence in the eyes of gods and men no i alfred olivier i'm innocent of this charge and claim my right to trial by combat damn i but i am no warrior and cannot fight so i claim the right to name a champion oh guess who it's gonna be very well who will stand for this woman uh i gotta go guys uh yeah i i gotta go um uh yeah i've got a uh there's a mount i got a farm uh i i just remembered uh yeah am i really gonna walk in there john cena yep yep that's exactly what's gonna happen there you go just as i was beginning to doubt the efficacy of the ish guardian justice system come my friend let us put an end to this mama's fast okay let's do it what the hell oh [ __ ] we're going to we're going to fight right now oh my god this guy's not even afraid we get to kill him right because if it's a trial by combat we get to kill him don't we hopefully we get to kill him all right here we go render unto us your judgment raise up the righteous and cast down the wicked true all right let's do it let's do it boys i'm ready [Music] like they're gonna get yeeded and deleted okay picking this guy up um okay put that on the ground too pop that pop this as well hit that hit this as well look at that big dick damage look at that big dick damage i have my pride this guy's getting [ __ ] destroyed look at this look at this dude it's not even remotely close so what do i do here how do i why can i not cast this do i have to like move back or something to cast it oh i'm i'm leveled down and so then i can't use the ability that's why okay never mind okay damn so the first guy's already [ __ ] dead nice okay this doesn't matter because i'm a tank what a little [ __ ] cost mana uh it said it doesn't because usually it has a number at the bottom of it right for how much man that costs if you uh if you do have it for mana funny damn kill them finish them off cut their dicks off they we won the fury is spoken alpha and i love your tataru taru you are hereby acquitted of all charges blessed are we to receive her wisdom and seek justice wrought to her by by her divine hand petitioners accused go forth in peace by the fury what a splendid victory to see how you strobe in the face of adversity two brave young souls bound together by bonds of camaraderie why it stirred me to the very depth of my soul horcher fun donate gifted 10 subs thank you very much for fun i appreciate that my lord we want we want [ __ ] we've just received message from the vault his imminence the archbishop requests the presence of master ball oh [ __ ] the invitation from the archbishop what an honor wow a personal summons is indeed a great honor and given recent events you would be wise not to delay go master bald we shall speak shortly a priest will be waiting for you outside the ball to identify yourself to him and an escort will escort you inside we're going to talk to the archbishop now remember the arc bishop is being controlled by the uh by the illuminati we're on to receive you master ball this way please oh [ __ ] damn open sesame oh wow oh wow damn it's a big deal your eminence it is my honor to present to you the warrior of light i have heard the tales of your many grand endeavors the lord commander has also been most effusive in his praise see this guy is being mind controlled be by the essence and by the illuminati he's basically like king theoden being controlled by saruman i am thordan the seventh archbishop of the ishgardian orthodox church and i made you come here that i might offer my personal apologies your companions were wrongly accused of heresy some fake ass [ __ ] gross indignity this i am sorry to say was the result of negligence on the part of our nation's protectors negligence spawn of an excess of zeal is that not so sir okay so we know this is a fantasy game because the church is uh apologizing for being overbearing and uh draconian with the way that they punish things so yes this is absolutely a fantasy game gentlemen yes your eminence regrettably it would appear that we of the heavens board were in receipt of erroneous information yeah they call that fake news that will be all sir zephyr i would speak with our guest in private oh all right i'm a special boy what do you know of the aseans oh so he's he's bringing it up already oh my god i'm like what the much and more i shouldn't wonder being the bringer of light you should know that i myself have met with them have entertained them as guests even what why those harbingers of chaos and strife offered us power that we might continue our war against the dragons makes sense i have no intention of aiding their cause of course nor less of being their puppet how do you even know that they're not there right now if they could be invisible and nobody could see them yet were i to refuse them outright i should learn not of their true objectives and remain powerless to stop them true thus have i hearkened to their words with interest and paid lip service to their beliefs he's a double agent in my time and preparing for the inevitable conflict bro what if he's a what if he's a triple agent pretending to be a double agent oh man this is some pop bro this is some politics stuff man if we are to rid ourselves of these vile interlopers we must need to work together with our combined strength i have faith that we can rest aortia from their grasp and paved the way for a lasting peace well yeah we just have to put them in more of the uh in the in the uh shungite cubes and then break them i understand yeah we already did this [Music] damn so nobody else knows about the asians except for the pope and now we're gonna go and we're gonna talk to everybody else about it now everybody else is gonna know about it by the gods the archbishop freely admits to consorting with aseans so their ambitions extend to ishgard as well of course they do they're [ __ ] immortal beings that just live to mess everything up oh in the midst of all the excitement i completely forgot to tell you oh no when i was asking around about the scions i heard the most awful rumor general rauban is to be executed for crimes against the sultanate what if the flame general dies we will lose a staunch no bro and the one man capable of holding the sultana's assassins to account exactly lord orchestra was wise to council restraint but this business will brook no delay we've got to get him out we got to get him out right now we cannot permit this execution to take place we must save rauban let's go let's go right now that's my boy man all right let's get this guy oh no look at him dude [Music] it's time for a new drink oh it's her yeah pray forgive me my lateness damn lady yugiri wow master alphano i am pleased to see that the light of resolve shines in your eyes once more since your escape from ulda my fellow shinobi and i have shadowed the crystal braves every step in hopes of learning the scions whereabouts okay regrettably our investigation has yet to yield any useful information so we don't apologize my lady we are grateful for all that you have done on our behalf besides rauban is no less a friend and we cannot well abandon him to his fate true i i want to say like i really like in this game how they integrate the old world into the new expansions i think that's so cool amazon yeah i really like that into the flame general's rescue legion did that too draw away the gods by the entrance take doware and higiri with you okay tell him what the five subs i appreciate that thank you damn with me okay let's go all right boys let's see if i can no i can't okay let's go now the store from the coliseum to be seen oh damn yo this place looks nice wow oh i get to kill crystal braves oh i've wanted to do this for so long [ __ ] yeah man this is awesome okay let's just keep pulling everything i'm a tank okay i do whatever i want can i jump down here i can nice okay we'll save a little bit of time here wait how the what the [ __ ] dude what the [ __ ] dude okay all right let's kill these real quick i feel like now i have a lot of abilities to use i'm feeling like a winner okay oh what the [ __ ] there he is oh [ __ ] the general where his captors i miss i i mislike the look of this general man dude they got his arm man you came i of course we came what do you mean bro get him out he's bound by some manner of magic device yeah dare not force it open it may as well be booby trapped just dig underneath i've heard of such devices the crystal braves will possess the key let us split up and look for it okay yeah just dig underneath it man that would not be necessary is it alberto you you haze wait what the [ __ ] pray do not take it personally my friends you are victims of harsh economic conditions what the [ __ ] dude happily i will not suffer you will not suffer for long the poison will convey you swiftly unto the bosom of fall where i hope to join you after the passing of my many prosperous years [ __ ] shut up i wanna i wanna kill him man let's kill him yeah he's going straight into falls balls exactly man let's go wait what the [ __ ] the miss stifles my healing okay so i just break through this this is easy okay here we go huh the way is clear um what's this your concentrated poison draining hp while hp recovery from healing magic is reduced okay well let's go um tend to general pray seek the mist and find the key all right i'm gonna find the key yeah yeah here they is here they is okay let's kill these guys here crystal brave [ __ ] boys we've got to kill three of them here okay there we go and actually what the [ __ ] okay got it it's making trying to be able to target all three of these good i guess actually it doesn't really matter like i could just move over here and like cast my big abilities like this one here and just hit all three of them and then get right back into position i feel like blood weapon is most effective like i don't get as much experience or as much mana back whenever i use blood weapon with my aoe rotation that's the way it feels to me now i could be wrong about that but that's the way it feels now let's take it to ralbana all right let's go over there dude i bet alberto is going to try to [ __ ] us man like i just want to kill one of them man i want to kill one of those main characters all right let's interact brow-bone we got you bro we got you bro let's go my thanks slowly general you're too weak for your d ordeal nevertheless you must quit this place let's get the [ __ ] out of here i should have known what clever contrivance is to the warrior of light well done hero it's alberto there he is dude we gotta kill him you mean to struggle on then very well if you would stand in my way i will cut you down like all the rest come scions let's get this over with wait finally we get to kill him thank god i've been waiting on this forever okay let's pick all these guys up pick this guy up over here where's alberto there he is okay we're good [Music] okay okay popping cds big big dick damage big big big big big big dick damage big big big dick damage there it is look at that dude they're getting destroyed what the [ __ ] this that's the first time i've ever heard like any voice lines during the fight what the [ __ ] dude alberto is a [ __ ] like he's actually going down like a little [ __ ] this is crazy look at this pathetic absolutely pathetic alberto that's right [ __ ] this changes nothing kill him what do you mean it changes nothing it is over elbert lay down your arms and surrender yourself to justice just kill him justice justice what exactly it was not i who assassinated the sultana boy er we debate who is responsible for the assassination i would ask whether an assassination took place at all you're a clever little shite oh [ __ ] if you think you fight for justice lad you best wake up the truth is you fight for whoever bloody well tells you to what can you not see you're being used by the scions the city-states even the crystal braves they none of them care await what you want only what you can do for them well that i get experienced though i need to do i get a higher level get more spells and [ __ ] need a new mouth and how do i know this because i'm the same a pawn to be used as my master see fit all i ever wanted was to liberate my homeland and i ate dirt to make it happen damn but what have i achieved after all these years in servitude nothing not a bloody thing oh you also cut off your friend's arm you [ __ ] idiot remember that that's your friend man we ourselves are not free free to think and to act what is faith ever to reclaim our own land know this there is nothing i would not give to take back alamigo nothing well why why you cut off your friend's arm though they weren't gonna help you man are you they're gonna disappear aren't they i swear to god they better not disappear look at that face look at that [ __ ] face let's kill him come on no master alfano now is not the time are we really going to get cucked by this weird dragon girl is this really what's going to happen i'm but a [ __ ] and a fool and still you came for me and when you're dead damn man [ __ ] dude we're all of us fools of fate general but even fools have a part to play nah he's not a fool he's not a fool he's just getting fooled i'm gonna say i might just i'm gonna go with number two i think number two is the best one yeah yeah let's go number two rest assured i was not planning to die till it avenged the sultana still your words are welcome lad man this is some [ __ ] like i can't believe that dude like that [ __ ] went crazy like real fast know this there is nothing i would not give to see you pay for what you've done yep my wealth my arm my life nothing general are you aware that lord nolorito has yet to announce the sultana's death to the public what the [ __ ] what no no i was not aware of that nor of anything else outside my cell it is passing strange though i assumed the bastard would make it known at the first opportunity and set about tearing down the sultanate what's going on here now i have no conclusive proof nor do i wish to give you false hope but i have reason to believe that her grace may get to live nah nah i don't believe that nope what but how can that be there's no way there's no way i don't believe that but it is not safe here let us continue this conversation without there's no way man okay well i'm just i'm happy we got raubon back wait what the [ __ ] who's this dark stranger general adam i assume and the signs of the seventh done who's this who are you identify yourself please not be alarmed my my mistress is a friend that i come bearing a message of goodwill uh for your own safety she made me direct your steps to the waking stands know that master uber danger awaits you there along with others sympathetic to your cause i don't know what to think is this a trap yeah this could be a [ __ ] trap dude i don't know what the [ __ ] to think about this all right let me see here uber danger with the sc oh [ __ ] i forgot all about that what's this here oh there he is my dearest friends praise be unto the twelve for delivering you from the clutches of treachery dude i'm so worried about this guy like i'm just i'm waiting for him to [ __ ] for to pull the oh my god this guy's gonna [ __ ] us in the ass i can't oh what oh wow it's peeping my son and master papashan besides wow forgive me father i should have been at our gracious side damn it's an adopted son save your tears the sultana yet lives what why is she wearing a uh [ __ ] a dunce cap i who arranged this gathering what the [ __ ] i'm judging by your perplexed expressions it would seem introductions are in order yeah i am dulala head of the order of nalthall and member of the syndicate the sen that's the bad guys are the [ __ ] bad guys what you said about the sultana is it true is he alive yeah young man i understand you were with the sultana when she drank from the poisoned goblet and collapsed would i be correct in assuming that you did not personally verify her grace's vital signs i put my mouse over her forehead during the cinematic does that count why ask when she's playing you know the answer yeah what are you doing quit playing games calm yourself general and let me finish the truth is not as you imagine it you are all victims of the most ingenious rules conceived to eliminate the threat posed by telegi you tell me this is another false flag and rauban had to lose his arm for this [ __ ] it is my belief that telegi plotted the sultana's assassination alone but that lola rito caught wind of his plot and exploited it to his own ends the f dude this this lalafell oligarchy [ __ ] that's going on as we've got to put this to an end like i i've had enough of this [ __ ] he sought to manipulate you into eliminating telechi for him and you duly obliged true that one fell swoop he removed his two foremost rivals all the while remaining above suspicion oh my god god strike me down for a fool but the sultana how can it be that she lives it's just like every time i look around it's weird because he doesn't have his arm you know like it's just like i look at my man what what happened to the like where's the arm you know what i mean she lives because lolarito wield it what her own lady in waiting is but one of his many little birds by her sleight of hand the poison was switched for a less deadly draft before it could reach her mistresses bro this is some [ __ ] game of thrones [ __ ] like oh my god there's like eight different levels of [ __ ] interests and like like what is this it's like oh it's they poisoned her but they didn't mean to because the girl that's supposed to be helping her is actually against her but she's not against her that much so she only gave her a little bit of poison not a lot of it holy [ __ ] man well i to guess i would say her grace is being held somewhere dreaming dreams of a brighter older we gotta get her back unless we speak we gotta get there's no no no oh my god i will never forgive lolarito for his part in this i think i think honestly i agree with you rabbon let me let me take him up to my flying mount i'll take him up to the top and we'll drop him i hope you are ready to work general for there is much work too yeah we're gonna get her back our first priority must be to bring matters back into balance lest you forget her grace's words the true wealth of aldar lies in the health happiness and hopes of her people and killing lolarito rescue her grace and take your place at her side once more this is such [ __ ] man i can't believe it i'm so pissed okay let's talk to alphanub what do you want hello to taru yes general rabban's in safe hands what another assault we shall pay return at once please notify the calendar coming we'd see me face another crisis the rumenians are preparing to resume the siege of the holy see though i am the load to abandon so taller for a fate we lack the necessary evidence to act upon dualis claims napping the case of pros who will leave marshall dupont and the others to investigate the game and return to all haze to isengard oh my god we gotta beat the [ __ ] out of some dragons now i would stay and fight then fight we shall then level never be said that we abandon our allies in their time of need the choice we make this day may have grave implications on our order it is only right that the taru should have a say what no apps are [ __ ] god cannot well enjoy another assault even should her knights succeed in turning back the horde the casualties will be catastrophic absolutely but what other choice do we have it's not like we can talk it over with them dragons and men aren't exactly on speaking terms true with certain notable exceptions oh lady iceheart how about that yeah what about her you don't mean ice heart i knew it though i knew it dude when last you spoke with her she lamented her crimes did she not no bro no she she was shiva she was shiva the god of destruction then there remains a sliver of hope if we can persuade ice heart to act as that intermediary we may yet be able to convince nidhogg to abandon his bloody course if there is to be a meeting i would accompany you oh [ __ ] it's einstein estinian even with your intermediary nidhogg's blood rate may render him death to reason however attempt may afford our forces precious time to prepare yeah this guy's a [ __ ] badass of course you might also consider a more direct approach to ending this conflict with the power of the eye at my disposal and the vaunted strength of the warrior of light we could conceivably slay the beast outright sounds good to me i thank you for your council estinian we shall be honored to have you with us okay yeah i am glad to be of service i like this guys guys badass oh wow that's a different room such commotion what the [ __ ] yes your eminence the bells of the observatorium warn of our enemies approach that's not good so the dragons are coming yeah no [ __ ] what do you think they were going to do them come in their hundreds and their thousands with the divine blade in our hands we shall rend their flesh and drown the heretics in their master's blood even nidhogg and his foul brood shall be powerless to resist us damn and when we're gonna [ __ ] around world of their pestilence we shall turn our attention to our asean allies what see that they are suitably rewarded for their invaluable assistance they bet he better be saying he gonna kill him if i know you're eminent the paragons wield powers strange and unknowable can we be certain that they will not see through our deception oh wait oh they're planning against them we can be certain of not save the righteousness of our cause if you would be a true leader of men you must possess conviction as well as caution what the [ __ ] i don't know if this is a good guy or a bad guy i have no idea like i'm so confused man we seek to excise the root of an evil that has blighted us for a thousand years the risk is worth the reward damn yeah is he a chad or achievement and this warrior of light they have plans of their own he just oh is he teleporting away for the glory of king what [Music] here we go very well master bald what brings us you brings you back here to falcon's nest judging by the company you keep it can be no trifling matter the azure dragoon i know of course but do i not believe i've met this young gentleman how's he the azera dragoon if his armor's black we believe there may be a way to revert the coming conflict but only if we can find the the elusive lady iceheart we've come to falcon's nest in the hope of acquiring the least latest intelligence of the heretics movements i see then you'd be best served as speaking directly to my men a patrol is due to return from the sweep the surrounding lands at any moment all right let's go let's go get this [ __ ] trying to find out where the where they're at in the heretics layer that's that jump scare place like i actually like that [ __ ] startled the [ __ ] out of me i'm gonna be honest i didn't know what the [ __ ] that was probably thinks the amber cord is better to watch amber [ __ ] that okay here we go an impressive structure i wonder how many ages it's endured uh it's been like a week since i went here maybe you should ask it's occupants they seem like a friendly bunch let me guess it's a bunch of dick boys i knew it wait what aren't those the asgardian soldiers what the hell dog's a [ __ ] guard it's not enough that you banish our beloved saint will you not be satisfied until the ice is slick with the last drops of our blood stay your weapons we we come over the flag of part away we only wish to speak with your mistress so that we might broke her apiece do you think that's fool's boy it will take us more than hunting words to earn our trust you walk with that dragon slayer and we know all too well what he is capable of my reputation precedes me so this guy took it as a compliment that they wanted to kill him that's great okay uh let's pull these guys uh make sure i zoom in a little bit too okay wait yo this guy's jumping around like crazy look at that oh my god i'm just like watching him attack [ __ ] [ __ ] okay i'm [ __ ] up my combos but it's not a big deal it is what it is dragon's blood what the [ __ ] does this do oh i bet it turns him into a dragon it did oh so that's the girl that's what happened to the girl man it wasn't a dream of chrome it was dragon's blood i knew it [ __ ] man that'd be embarrassing wait what the [ __ ] oh my god focus release oh i did that last night okay [Music] so we'll kill i guess we just kill this guy [ __ ] yeah let's get rid of a fall okay there we go big dick damage massive dick damage huge this guy doesn't really seem like he's very hard to kill i'm pretty sure we're gonna be able to beat him man i sure hope i'm able to beat him there nice that was a close one guys almost lost okay interrupting that spell i mean i might as well it's like i i always like the way i look at is like i want to train myself to interrupt all the time they fight like demons there's death to remain fall back brothers retreat to the cinders the [ __ ] so we beat them all that's great i see no sign of lady ice hurt we have questioned one of them what would you ask that we do not already know they make for the cinders and so should we even if an ambush should await us it's certain that there will be more heretics to question the cinders you say i confess the name is unknown to me mayhap you'd be good to enlighten us einstein i suspect it is the heretics way of referring to the dreaming dragon an island of sorts found in the midst of the frozen lake of ass pool some 500 years passed it's told that the azer dragoon of the age fought a dragon of titanic proportions after this savage struggle the mighty creature was weakened unto the point of death and forced into a magic slumber by the entire chapter of the holy see sorcerers a long a rain of ash and cinders to begin to fall upon the sleeping serpent's motionless form covering the serpent uh the creature at length in a shroud of gray of course a thick layer of ice has since formed on top of it but you may be sure that i speak true the fascinating tale we should make taste is ashen lake i've been to ashland lake before i got [ __ ] in the ass by a hydra just the truth what's this ah i should have known it would be you oh [ __ ] all right here we go there she is word reached me of a struggle with a small but well-armed band of trespassers forgive my comrades their hostility few come here uninvited and fewer still with good intent okay now tell me why you are here uh because we want you to [ __ ] the dragons to where they won't attack us um we want to stop nydog's attack on ishgard so you seek to stem the dravanian tide with talk a romantic notion what are you talking about if you but knew the truth the spark which lit the flames of this animosity you would understand the futility of your quest why just tell me what to do shall i relate it to you the sordid history my gift has shown me that which the holy see has taken such pains to suppress oh [ __ ] we're gonna find out what happened it was more than a millennium past when an ellison tribe first sought to claim the lands of kurthus as its home okay unfortunately for them kurthus was already home to dragonkind and they were not inclined to make way for the invaders thus did a bloody war begin a war which might well have rumbled on until one or the other side was exterminated had it not been for the resolve of a single woman that woman's name was shiva she [ __ ] the dragons into an alliance while those around her fought and died what she attempted to parlay with the dragons and in so doing discovered them to be possessed of profound intelligence and reason the great worm horace velga in particular so enchanted shiva that she found herself growing to love the creature whom her people considered a monster bro bro it's actually about to happen in the eyes of a near immortal dragon however the fleeting life of an ellison is as that of a freshly cut rose true scarce has the flower bloomed before it begins to fade and wither wow that's sad such melancholy musings plagued trace velga who had found in shiva an unexpected and beloved soulmate he knew that all too soon death would snatch her away from him wait so they actually fell in love wait what the [ __ ] what what unable to bear the thought of their separation the maid bid the worm consume her that their spirits might be entwined vor what are you kidding me though loathe to perform the deed grace felger ultimately gave in to her plea and soon thereafter the tale of their ill-fated love spread throughout the two warring factions no more could they raise blade or claw against one another knowing that the souls of their kin were so inextricably bound well that kind of worked out didn't it in the days that followed man and dragon learned to live in harmony that's nice and together built a nation unlike any the world had ever known for 200 years did this blissful age of peace continue as it would to this day had vilest envy not stirred in the hearts of the ellison it is said that worms owe their longevity to the boundless reserves of vitality found within their eyes what and was in this belief that a traitorous band of knights deceived their allies of some two centuries and took by force that which they cut wait they took the dragon's eyes oh that's why the [ __ ] einstein has one of the eyes he who now stands poised to unleash his wormlings upon ishgard was the great dragon who lost an eye to ella's intro he's the one that has it bro i bet this guy's feeling really awkward right now he's like just sitting there he's like uh damn yo that's crazy and until he prizes it from the hands of the traitors no amount of conciliatory words will stay his fury wasn't this guy going to say something oh here you are wrong lady ice hot oh [ __ ] lest you misunderstand i do not doubt your vision of the past tis true that nidhogg great to reclaim the eye indeed it was for that very reason that i kept it with me as i roamed the land attempting to draw him away he's got the [ __ ] eye oh [ __ ] it's sauron's eye good gods what the [ __ ] it's right there until recently nidhogg seemed unable to resist its allure and pursued me relentlessly needless to say that is no longer the case now it would seem he has fixed his attention on ishgard itself though he knows full well the eye does not reside there so he's just mad on his own you believe he targets the capital for another reason because he's mad i believe reason has all but left him through the eye i feel much of what nidhogg feels and the dragon's thirst for vengeance will not be quenched by ord less than a sea of blood let's stab and kill the dragon problem solved kill the dragon no more problem if nidhogg is indeed lost to reason why do we not seek an audience with race felder instead why so we can eat you too huh does that sound like a good idea he has thus far shown no inclination to aid in the invasion of ishgard and may yet welcome our efforts to broker a peace you still believe that a peaceable solution can be found very well i will take you to him oh [ __ ] we're going to meet a dr oh my god what what the [ __ ] oh [ __ ] it's the dragon wait what she's back what is that the assistant no what what the [ __ ] is autumn miss my friend yeah this shit's [ __ ] up i sensed the many battles are beginning to take their toll rest a while and should you lose sight of us oh my god lies beyond the mountains to the west okay let's go over dude i want to see what the dragon area is man this is [ __ ] badass is it it's the baby dragon curious the vestiges of thy mistress's blessing are not as faint as once they were am i getting back to echo thy will to succeed grants the unusual fortitude but will it be enough what the [ __ ] dude what the [ __ ] dude i'm gonna get that dude i'm gonna get the echo back apparently wait you sail wait now she's got a name what it's passing strange that facially just bring it should bring us together never die i think to walk alongside the warrior of light but history is full of such unexpected alliances shall we make our way to drauvenia then the chill the western highlands is unrelenting i would sooner be under the sheltering canopy of the chocobo forest true okay let's go over here beyond abelarthia's spine the great mountain range that spans the continent of aldenard from east to west into the deepening shadows of some ah where lies the ancient home of dragon kind oh [ __ ] there they are to a land where the soil slithers and the skies seethe with sinuous shapes they came oh wow oh wow dude i'm gonna talk to the dragon now all right let's go let's go what's this video ah tis thee little one from above i did mistake thee for a nap it is well i chanced to look again or thou wouldst now be ash dear vidoff virginia how i have missed you would that i had come sooner and not out of dire necessity oh [ __ ] i think they made her hotter they are troubled yeah speak that i might know thy plight what happened your shit's [ __ ] up that would have further admonished his brood brother oh i would end this war without further bloodshed how am i to believe the little one when my own companion beareth nidhogg stole an eye yeah yeah how about that you probably you know we probably shouldn't have brought that with us like that i mean i feel like yeah that's probably a bad idea why why couldn't we just leave that at home uh oh what the [ __ ] have care dragon or i shall gouge out one of yours you forget yourself sir we are here on a mission of peace shut up [ __ ] my sires will forbideth me from inviting discord to our home tis for this reason and no other that thou still drawist breath night yes sure vidofnia please we must be allowed to convey our intentions to reis valgar in person with words of our own choosing grant us this favor and open the way to som al oh it's a portal behind her look at that thou hast ever been welcome little one are they going to let the dragoon in though like i feel like that would be kind of awkward but i cannot grant thy wish oh i am bound to remain here and protect my kin from the naz god [ __ ] the nas god the naz have summoned a primal i've been here before yep i've okay all right i've been here before let's go i'm ready well if we gotta if we gotta [ __ ] a prime on the ass i'm ready to do it pray excuse my forwardness but if we were to eliminate the threat to your territory would you consent to lady iselle's request that's all right yeah doesn't thou imagine myself equal to the task to succeed where dragons have failed i mean to be fair you guys have been [ __ ] around a whole lot so i mean like the other guy's literally walking around with your boss's eye in his pocket so i mean yeah probably we could do that it is beyond thee mortal but thou art welcome to try nonetheless only know that idol promises shall avail thee naught okay i'm ready to fight the primal dude i'm [ __ ] ready for this it seem we have no choice but to make good on alfino's offer why must our every bid for peace breed yet more war ah it's a primal it's fine i'll respawn uh back already are we and you met with ganath have you uh and one of those that you'd like to yeah it's not looking good summon the primal you say seven hells well i don't know bugger all about the gennath region uh religion and if i'm honest beyond their trading habits there's nothing much punch there's never seen much point in asking but it shouldn't be that hard to find out from time to time we bartered with a small hydrogen north and west of here outcasts of the main tribe from what i understand i reckon they'd be willing to tell you a bit about themselves if you give them the right incentives sounds promising but what would it have considered to be the right incentives probably like poop or something right oh nothing your average hunter couldn't scrounge up in a day or two but seeing as you're in a hurry you may want to divide chords amongst yourselves you want a good sized jar of land trap nectar a basket of calm tree fruit and always a ganaf favorite a generous portion of young naca flesh i shall get gather the fruit leaping from lower branches these forest giants should present little challenge to me even whenever he's picking up a quest this guy's trying to flex i was able to gather a goodly amount of nectar from the land traps do you think i would have known how to harvest it without your sales help do you have the knock uh do i have the meat yes i have the meat uh splendid i shall put this with estenian's fruit and assemble a suitably a generous hamper looking for the naf okay let's do that our offerings has not gone unnoticed click click long has it been since hunters came last to trade bearing gifts that filled the air with such delightful sense with the delectable foods you brought for us our major existence is much enriched by your bounty click click come hunters come to our hive if you would trade cramped and stifling our homes are but the ransom incense keeps the dragons at bay cramped stifling and horribly smelly but better though bro i feel like i'm gonna what is this like a musical um better to live in stench than cracked with a crunch dragon jaws come come it's not far damn these guys are actually pretty nice what the [ __ ] honored elder pray allow me to tell you by thanking you for warming us to our home welcoming us into your home and accepting our humble offerings my companions and i are coming in search of knowledge specifically knowledge of your people's god you will hear the tale of gennath's god the one the non-mind the one mind summoned into our midst the one mind these are the gnath who reside in the main colony yes they are connected let us begin the story at its beginning some moons ago a single dragon flew from the east bleeding and weak and it fell from the sky into the hive and it was swarmed by my brethren and with spear and spell and musket the dragon was slain it was likely that the one that fled battle with my with my kinsmen i should commend you for finishing the job taking partial credit i like that he's like what dragons are fierce and terrible adversaries the one mind would always cower when their wings shadows passed over the ground but no longer they had learned their battle weary dravenian was easy prey thus did the one mind decide to heed the words of the black robed man it's the illuminati but our god ever hungers the price he demands in crystals far exceeds the rewards of this war we of the vat despise and revile his insatiable existence the longer this primal is suffered to exist the greater the suffering it will discuss it will cause it must be destroyed how lightly you propose the destruction of this god master often odd a being of whom we know nothing of has it occurred to you that we may be sending the warrior of light to his death no because i beat everything else no i you have the right to it essentially so it seems like who i am guilty of presuming too much pray forgive me as my goal i do not fear my duty i'm a [ __ ] this [ __ ] up wait asping gold need not face this foe alone like him i am blessed with the echoes protection and may do battle without fear of primal influence let me bear this burden [Music] uh what the [ __ ] forgive me but let's be clear about what it is you propose you mean to say that we deliberately pronounce provoke the gonath surrender yourself into what might be generously termed into their custody and then wait until their god arrives to claim your soul yes would that i could fight at your side warrior of white but the power of the dragon is no protection against the primal influence forgive me but i must remain here with master alfena then it's settled as my gold you and i shall challenge the guards at the entrance of the colony once the hive is roused we shall feign a brief show of resistance and then allow them to take us prisoner okay so we're trying to bait him into it like i i like the uh [Music] the scope of this is just like much bigger man look at that look at that you better not attack me yeah that's what i thought [ __ ] oh that's the 50 million dollar amount this is the 50 million dollar amount holy [ __ ] [Music] damn this guy's like xerxes it's the rich mount yeah exactly okay now i've got to go over here and kill these things and then i should be able to uh to do this okay uh your your lives are forfeit all right um oh let's go then provoke the okay that's done like that's it okay that was pretty [ __ ] easy the overmind must be now aware of our intrusion let's press onto the hive and ensure that our hosts we have our hosts undivided attention all right let's go wait we're just gonna walk in uh okay sounds good to me yo let's just walk in and [ __ ] around why not okay hostile presence there they are okay let's just kill all these okay they're all dead all right damn dude my damage has gotten way better holy [ __ ] guys this is crazy okay now what do i get captured oh there's even more of them holy [ __ ] okay um i thought we were supposed to lose though maybe show a full map on mainstream i'll have to look at it in a minute this should be sufficient we've done our host full attention before we should surely have it now our audience of the prime will be granted soon after our capture pray advise me once you have stealed your mind for the battle to come let's [ __ ] do it hold there asming gold when next ganache come we will offer no resistance there they are surrender intruders there's no escape let's surrender okay wouldn't they disarm you though enough we surrender we threw up yourselves upon the mercy of your god imagine how much like they must be so happy they're like damn that [ __ ] was easy what the [ __ ] okay great oh they're taking us into the sex dungeon oh yeah shouldn't they take away your weapon i mean you got this giant [ __ ] sword it just seems like i i don't know that's what makes sense they seem eager to proceed good remember to take us before their award pray leave matters to me if i know what summoning a ritual holds true i shall be well placed to act uh passing the sound of a regression of the ravine behind us passing loud is it not i imagine a noise would serve to mask our escape should we need to withdraw temporarily but you are prepared are you not i do hope so if i were to be dragged away for sacrifice while you were handling over the price of potions i would not be amused so now what the [ __ ] oh [ __ ] okay um well let's oh [ __ ] here we go this is the this is the crack house this is in the basement where they keep all the good [ __ ] now we have got to wait okay oh lord ravana master secret blades wrath of the colony conqueror of the world hear our prayer you'll see this dick to your devoted children the gift of your divine presence what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] it's like cutting a hole in the earth oh he's coming [Music] general grievous what the [ __ ] [Music] holy [ __ ] [Music] oh no strength to the colony speak and i shall listen oh my god there's a big boy oh glorious general we have captured well he's a general too and would make unto you an offering of their life's blood oh my god these female fleshlings dared to invade naplans hear me lord ravana my companion and i did not come to contest your children's territory wait she's trying to talk to him what do what if we get to scout our conversation he's not gonna listen you look at him he's got four swords we wished only to learn the reason you wage war against the [Music] dragons merely to satisfy thy curiosity wherefore should the glorious conquests of the north concern thee so damn this guy doesn't give a [ __ ] okay no we crave no alliance lord ravana only peace we would bring an end to our war with the dragons yet so long as they remain embroiled in this conflict with your children our goal shall remain out of reach yeah let's just kill him how about that never before have the knife risen up in such numbers and never yet with you at their head why do you lead them to war because he's got four swords and he's on fire are you crazy how do you even ask that my question has no meaning to live is but to fight duh look at him that's the dumbest question i ever heard she's trying to talk to him long have my children waited gathering their strength in the shadow of thy ceaseless conflict uh-oh the north would see the dravanians flame and their territory secured and by such fervent prayers am i now given form and purpose well wouldn't that just be easy just have this guy take care of all the dragons and then we just kill him after that i mean i don't know i feel like this kind of works itself out as i feared your very existence is an obstacle to our goal since you are so fond of fighting we challenge you lord of the nath oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] they're like what the [ __ ] and should we emerge the victors i would have you swear to withdraw your soldiers from dravanian soil damn to risk thy fleshy hide so readily what the [ __ ] i ravana fourfold master of the blade to accept thy challenge let's do it i'm ready let's beat his ass but should i emerge the victor i would have thee swear to serve in mine army till my last breath is spent do you accept uh-oh i do and i believe the first bout is mine wait she's gonna try to 1v1 what wait what this is not gonna go over very well [Music] wait is she gonna become shiva again oh [ __ ] [Music] what the [ __ ] is going on man [Music] he's like what the [ __ ] is ought to miss my lord thou wilt not break thy word i trust mine oath is unbending as steel little goddess thy rules will but add to my enjoyment they're gonna fight oh [ __ ] damn he didn't give a [ __ ] god damn look at that she's already in phase two what the [ __ ] oh she turned him into an ice cube i don't think that's gonna work man yeah that's probably not gonna work this guy's pretty [ __ ] big jesus christ yeah i feel like this not really uh yeah it's not really going too well oh [ __ ] oh my god yeah he doesn't care he doesn't give a [ __ ] i thought myself with more crystals uh apparently not jesus thou art nothing to me jesus this guy didn't give a [ __ ] man he won v wonder it was not he didn't even that was even hard she didn't even get a hit in on him all right uh okay so we gotta i gotta 1v1 oh oh uh what the [ __ ] got wrecked [ __ ] [ __ ] thong what the [ __ ] [ __ ] ass hard let's go [Music] oh [ __ ] this is going to be the big boy isn't it yup [Music] damn it's gonna be hard to do [Music] best music in the whole game everybody says that about every song yeah people say that about every song all right here we go let's do it and there he is and there he is the big boy himself all right let's do it okay uh so i'm pretty much thinking we go in and we uh pretty much just attack him and uh you know pretty much just yeah just do that all right let's go guys let's do it big dick big dick damage there it is i think he's still in that right yeah he's still in that it's fine okay tank stance it's on shut up okay directional parry what the [ __ ] [Music] directional pair how the [ __ ] is that furious to the boys oh [ __ ] [Music] oh my god okay all right prelude to slaughter um let's see so what does this do um say move away all right it seems everybody wants to move away so let's move away [Music] that's it that's nothing there's nothing i just move out of the surface that's a joke okay let's see here oh okay [Music] this is a cool fight i like this it's badass [Music] okay he's casting slaughter what does this do um probably nothing too important yeah i'll be fine okay um i'll just cast a q i'll do a minor cooldown for this should be fine see i knew i'd be fine okay where'd he go oh i move out with that okay get out of the circle okay so now we have to fight him again that's fine let's go big dick on him again long dick damage long dick damage let's do it i'll use a little debuff on him make him take less damage there we go okay is that doing any damage man he's not doing [ __ ] okay good [Music] there we go [Music] there we [ __ ] go easy boss easiest boss in the game as for 10 swords he only has four swords right now that makes it way easier to kill him okay i've got to use plunge off gcd all the time did i want how long does that carry thing last for um yeah i'm not really sure okay forty percent lions use this i forgot okay he's not doing much of anything right now we're just beating his ass we're just beating on his ass i'm assuming these ads are gonna do something but i don't know what that something is yet [Music] okay i'm 100 perry why the [ __ ] am i 100 perry [Music] okay i'll pop some cds here too might as well okay easy boss easy easy boss okay bloody fuller okay i guess we'll just attack him here [Music] he'll be fine what the [Music] okay let's go what the [ __ ] is this [Music] oh my god okay he's not really doing that much damage to me yeah i'm totally good okay moving out of that the other tank's got it right now actually yeah never mind yeah no wonder i wasn't taking any damage imagine that he had to talk off of me because of my uh my threat was so high oh see now his taunt went away see like i do so much damage like people can't hold aggro off of me [Music] swift slaughter i'll probably just move out of that right so i'm assuming oh [ __ ] we're bringing in a big dick on him take him out [Music] i lay my blades at my feet child of man damn damn fast fart damn yeah we killed his ass too but we killed his ass oh my god can i jump off the edge you do not disappoint warrior of light god damn right that i had your skill in battle i do begin to see why so many place their faith in you that's right that's right for all his savagery i do not think ravana won to break his word true provided the dragons do not trespass upon lands they should have little to fear of the primals biting blades we have done well have we not yeah now we get to meet the big dragon let us return to vidoff near and share these glad titans [ __ ] yeah all right let's go [Music] [ __ ] once more you achieve the impossible it's a girl of light but with every mortal heart that succumbs to fear and fury another voice is joined to the chorus beseeching divine sucker okay at their bidding warring gods will shake the firmament and your world will be consumed in the swelling storm of chaos jesus these guys are crazy what the [ __ ] bro the illuminati doesn't [ __ ] around okay it only takes me like an hour to do each all of them probably so i'm not that worried about it because i did like the uh one set of them it was easy [Music] i never heard this before what the [ __ ] oh my god damn thou art returned little one has to thou abandon thy conceived contest with the gennaf name my friend we return and triumph by asmingold's hand was the beastman's god ward ravana laid low in his overconfidence the primal sword to withdraw his followers from our land in the event of his defeat a promise we believe that he will keep the gnath will trouble you no longer the deity is slain then how how does thou contend with his biting blades but the matter is particular or not thou has fulfilled thy promise and i shall fulfill mine attend to me mortals hi you unto hither the deepest reaches of mourn and there you shall found halo the altar of which you may begin your ascent to the summit of somal but become but be fairly warned the minions of my dog shall not lightly suffer your presence on that sacred mount by your struggles within the cavern shall i judge your partly possessed uh sufficient fortitude to proceed we shall not disappoint you vidamir if memory serves the cavern to mourn is located is entered from the second floor in the central tower let us begin to climb this reminds me of that one place in uh what do you call it [ __ ] runes escape that inferno place that i always see people in and and they die yeah like that's the first thing i think of that yeah dark souls uh yeah a little bit right after you kill uh what's a ceaseless discharge tyrannosaur wait what the why the [ __ ] are there dinosaurs here okay let's go over here and this is where i guess we talked to the giant dragon wow holy [ __ ] though oh this is underneath the crystal isn't it i guess it must be what is this i couldn't really see all the way up there you can't look directly up so it's hard to know i like the scene there makes him look like really small is that him no that's her that'll she want well done little one as promised i shall open the way to psalms all summit for the i and i companions okay her eyes are red what the wait yeah it is that was the crystal what do you mean heed me now children of man the domain you seek enter half the visitors uh of your kind in nigh a thousand years though i freely grant your passage your presence will not be welcomed well [ __ ] them the way is open let us not tarry here well this guy's this guy has like he's such a chad time to die why would it be hard everybody says it's yeah it's gonna be easy you just do the dungeon that's the boss from coils and they're trash mobs shit's getting serious yeah it's getting really serious oh my god all right let's go oh we have one la la fell on the group so it's a three-man raid it's okay we'll do what we need to damn look at this place okay let's do it let's pop some cds they gotta see these nuts cds nuts all right let's go i'm gonna pull these mobs too pop my [ __ ] right there big dick damage big [ __ ] dick damn look at that [ __ ] big dick damage look at that big dick damage you love to see it that poor healer shut up man [ __ ] the healer man i'm here to win keywords are losers we're popping off right now look at that huge damage absolutely insane the healer's doing just fine okay i don't want to hear about anybody crying about the healer he's doing great damn look at this okay rasputin let's do it everybody's here right yep we're all here let's do it kill his ass massive big damage i'm gonna save the rest of my mana for the inevitable ads that are going to spawn there's no way ads don't spawn in this fight [Music] seems easy enough so far sweet sense so he's focusing on okay um dravidian hornets all right let's go over there killing that okay obviously he has to kill this we have to kill this thing before it gets to him and avoid that cast there we go and let me go over here and kill this with my combo there we go picking him back up easy [ __ ] game uh wait are there more more birdie boys we gotta get on this birdie boy too okay i guess i might as well i'm trying to like i'm waiting to see when i should pop my cds or not i really don't know okay killing this oh i'm gonna do big damage here big damage here that way i get my all right he's dead good nice okay it's back on me now flower devour oh those rhyme it's very cute when should i use my big cd when do i use my big city guys uh we're deciding come on come on hit me see what happens hit me see what happens [Music] okay what the [ __ ] why am i stung okay put that i'm gonna put that right there put that right there that way if it hits if it hits them i'm going to hit them with both of that there we go nice good see that i'm comboing both of them maximum [ __ ] damage finishing with the combo there plunges [ __ ] ass punches [ __ ] ass what's the loot what's the loot eye level here 130 oh i'm needing on that passing this okay this place is really nice yeah i just got wait wait nobody's ever beat that remember your gap closure oh i i will i will i remember i used it to get over the birdie the little bugs but the reason why i don't use gap closer in this situation is because not everybody has it so i i don't want to use uh the gap closer all the time because people might not all have it oh [ __ ] damn look at this place come here [ __ ] oh okay that's fire so fire is hot and we don't want to stand in it [Music] but it's just it's just not something you do okay killing knees there we go pyro dragon we'll fight him yeah it doesn't make any sense the reason is like okay so let me explain why so if you want to use a cd you want to use the cd whenever you use it but if you don't want to then don't do it because you don't need to always do it because sometimes he's not taking out damage anyways understand think about that that's a big dick that is a big dick okay let's get on [Music] oh lunge breaks my combo doesn't it it lunge breaks my combo doesn't it no it doesn't well then why did i not get a get siphon strike then i don't know why that happened okay dude this guy's getting [ __ ] destroyed oh my god okay primordial roar okay and i don't know if we should kill these or not i have no idea um yeah i really actually don't know maybe i can try to kill this one here okay mad dash we probably shouldn't face that one then right what the [ __ ] wait why did it hit me i wasn't even anywhere near it okay i'm just gonna move away here okay got him mad dash again okay he's gonna go to this one obviously but i thought he was okay yeah there we go [Music] i'm confused his model turns fast he's a fast boy he certainly is okay back on him good accidentally doing the mechanic correctly no i knew what it was yeah it's fine i knew what it was it's not that big of a deal that's so easy this would be a cool amount i think you can get a t-rex mount i'm actually pretty sure you can uh i'm just going to stand in this it doesn't really matter doesn't generous damage to me anyway okay i'm gonna drop the next one on top of them oh actually isn't this a 30 second duration yeah never mind i'll save it for after this okay there we go wait there's another one the [ __ ] rdm wait what's rdm red mage oh the guy he's fine man everything's fine we're totally good this is an easy fight you just kill the boss okay so what did we get uh oh a choker i don't know if these are that good like i feel like my necklace is already really good anyway i'm just gonna pass on it who gives what the hell is this oh wow oh wow wait who's this it's a bonus dragon okay let's kill him there we go get the extreme version of thought as thought that's apparently what i'm getting okay there we go i really like having to jump man the jump is so nice okay avoiding that and there we go easy [ __ ] game okay wait there's more dragons still holy [ __ ] how many are there it's a dragon's house yeah i guess so it does kind of make sense doesn't it this place looks badass is this the last boss [Music] i believe it could be yep with a stupid ass [Music] that's a big dragon let's go [Music] okay okay it does like some breath on me that's fine damn for a dungeon boss this has got some real mechanics you have to move out of that [ __ ] fast okay comment is this like one of those like meteors that comes down uh okay obviously you have to move out of the way right assuming okay this is easy yeah this is a joke you just do it look at this wow [Music] damn dude damn dude look at that look at the avoids boys the music is cool i like the music you're right aaron get insects be crushed beneath the weight oh that's great as soon as i put down the debuff the right wing of injury oh i can still damage these okay it's fine okay am i hitting both of these i don't know if i am not yeah i am okay good okay i guess i'll pop this cd2 there we go and big damage there what a darkness on all wait am i am i aoeng the dragon down what the [ __ ] okay got him [ __ ] yeah literal god damage man literal god damage [Music] i can't believe it oh those are the meteors aren't they i'm assuming so and then you run to the edge of the room and that's yeah that's what it's gotta be so now we're gonna go over to here oh and then i have her breathe on the race okay good and that that helps the healer out [Music] such an easy game do the thing well all right all right fine i'll do the thing [Laughter] okay i'm not gonna i'm not blizzard okay i'm not gonna chase it okay uh let's see here i'll uh i'll greet on that and probably just pass on that sounds good oh am i getting another crystal oh [ __ ] [Music] wow i'm getting it back dude i'm leveling back up asmin gold this guy's like where's the dragon what the [ __ ] where'd he go so it seemed like tiaman was the last i sensed no other dragons nearby what's happening oh it's the [ __ ] eye my dog he roars oh yeah because he's he's pissed off because we just killed his wife yeah he's probably there's probably his girlfriend but still his fury it bleeds through the eye holy [ __ ] fear not i am yet my own master but that dan dorm's wrath burns hotter than a flame come the heart of the dragon's homeland yet lies before us damn dude thus we add another link to the chain of vengeance oh saints shiva when will it end imagine like praying to shiva girl what what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] the dragon [ __ ] shiva the dragon [ __ ] wait what's this to the peak of some ah at the end of a perilous mountain path there it is whence could be seen a string of pearl-like islands floating impossibly atop a sea of clouds to a domain where dragons and men had once lived in yeah this is the ruins i guess whose majesty no mortal eye had glimpsed for nyan a thousand years they came wow all right we've came wow wait holy why is everything electric holy [ __ ] the [ __ ] dude what the [ __ ] dude oh my god all right let me see here we've reached it at last the peak of saw maul said to be the highest mountain in all borisia i know i thought it was cold in kawarthas but the hair the air here carries a chill of a dozen winters damn oh 57 dude alfredo ponder so the means in which you might find jerez velgar now that we've scaled the mountain itself there remains a problem of finding harassed valgar himself wait what the where's the little stupid thing behind him what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] what manner of creature is that [Music] what the it's a little dick boy it's a dick boy koopo [Music] the [ __ ] is he doing do my eyes deceive me or was that a moogle that was a moogle it was my understanding of the only dwelled within the twelves would i certainly never expected to see one here in the churning mists if the mughal does obviously live here he may know where the rest of elgar makes his lair quickly now before we lose the creature completely oh my god look at this there's like multiple destinations uh all right there we go i'm surveying the land search for the mogul at the designated locations there's no sign for mogul in the area i i see no evidence of this moogle of yours are you certain there wasn't a trick of the light perhaps may simply one of those strange plants shifting in a breeze what though what the [ __ ] god damn i have not given up on the mughals ousmane gold come with me to gridania i petitioned the aid of mughal's cannon twelves wood after that business with mughal mog i dare say they will be glad to help us okay assuming you have no need of me i shall remain here nydog senses both the loss of his consort and the coming of the eye his attention is firmly fixed in this direction i mean i know i mean to do what i can and hold his gaze in the hope that it may delay any action against ishgard thank you einstein come now asming gold let us make a case for gardanya and rendezvous with no phil results on it so yeah so like some crazy [ __ ] happened and like there's a dragon and this guy has an eye of the dragon and like there's this girl who can turn into shiva i see so you mean to you have a mean to contact these moguls in the churning mists i say cupo what the [ __ ] greetings couple cop what do we owe the pleasure of your company i was struck by the certain urge to bring you some fruit connie and i'm jolly grad i did tell me more of these mooglies in the sky koopa i will gladly tell you all that i need to know though it amounts to precious little we encountered a moogle high on the clouds of a dravenia that hoped that you and your can of the twelves would might agree to facilitate a meeting i'll admit i thought about venturing outside the twelves what is a bit unsettling but i can hardly refuse a chance to meet my distant distant cousins if you would have me i too would accompany you on this venture and lend my voice to your cause as an ambassador to grenada oh wow they're like what what why what the [ __ ] oh my what a [ __ ] my lady are you quite certain how often your nation have turned to the signs of seven dawn in its hour of need how oft have we asked the warrior of light to risk his life to save our own too many times for many times true i say to you and have never refused us thus do i choose this day to offer my aide to the allies for the good of the realm they're like oh no is this not just a most unexpected and most welcome offer elder sincere we would be most honored by your presence they're all sam's no she's simping for us man what do you mean is this your first final fantasy yes oh what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] i am connie senna my companions and i have braved the long road from the 12s wood to share awards with you on this occasion of our first meeting we bring an offering of light and wind she gonna cast a spell oh wow [Music] gonna make him leave bro like stop i'm gonna turn down performance oh such a gentle and pleasing glow koopa are they all gonna come out of this yep uh i am morgan chieftain of this mogul clan yeah i'm like what the [ __ ] chieftain maglin it's an honor to me for you greetings i am kupo kopp ambassador of the twelves wood mughals my companions crave an audience with the great war on harass velgar and they might negotiate an end to the war twix man and dragon and into war you say hmm i trust you conacena the light of peace shines brightly within your soul but i am afraid that i cannot be the same cannot be said of your friends [Music] we're gonna have to we're gonna have to beat some ass while some crave peace such as russ velgar and many others crave the opposite such as nye dog suffice it to say we are worried that the presence of your blood spattered warrior friends will attract the attention of the nastier kind and invite destruction into our happy home now just a moment chieftain asmongold here may have doled out the odd thrashing or two but it's always been for a really good reason true it was in self-defense he is a champion of the twelves with moguls and i'll not hear his good names slandered prove your serves worthy of our assistance and it will be yours i shall be watching koopa great chores for the mughals it's exactly right we have to do three chores for them then they let us talk to the dragon and this is the last one then i think we should be able to talk to the dragon here we go did you have any trouble finding clouds breath i do need it quite urgently i think it might be funny like i wonder if in like two years from now if there's ever a joke of like some guy who's like you know but being weird towards women if people will still make the blizzard joke i wonder about that oh yes these are perfect kupo now i have the main ingredient for my porn tonic you've completed the trials of trustworthiness referring to chief uh mogul then and await his judgment never have i seen such determined workers kupo it would have taken us moons to complete all these dreary charge and um errands and our waivers have proven the purity of our intentions chieftain without a doubt there was never any really all that much doubt to begin with you were after all already friends with a fellow moogle as you see before any meeting of arrest velgar could take place certain preparations needed to be made and what a better way to help you pass the time than having you perform all the tireless tasks that no one ever wants to do koopo oh my god oh my god this is real life do i get to kill him too yeah this is going to be our next trial isn't it i'm assuming it is hopefully einstein will just spear him you know take care of him he says [ __ ] that dude oh oh oh oh oh dear the horn bring out the horn quickly now yep he says [ __ ] that we blow on this wondrous instrument whenever we speak to which the great worm uh we wish to speak of the great war on cupo uh we have a perhaps between with the carrot deserves his weight i think bald gang may have sat on it so it might need some time for cleaning and polishing and straightening oh i can't wait to blow on that no lasting harm done though you need simply said to the zenith the worms dwelling in the west and give the horn a good toot we are in your debt chieftain thanks to your noble gift we will finally have a chance to plead our case to russ velgar should we ever arrive at his lair come we have squandered enough time here already true she's look at her face dude she dude she [ __ ] hates him that fat [ __ ] sitting up there in his little dandelion throne just waiting for everybody else to do all the work for him is that right so there's actually just [ __ ] dragons everywhere holy [ __ ] and is this it oh is this the place in the cinematic wow wow [Music] okay here we go it's time this is your chance to climb to the highest floor of the palace and summon him with the two to that shiny horn so i'll be heading out now uh if it's all the same to you good luck koopa it was nice knowing you okay yo he dipped out man he's like yo i don't know what the [ __ ] this is gonna happen so i'm gonna just i'll see y'all later okay yeah it's really nice knowing you guys okay so let's go over here and we will oh i get my magic crystal too let me cook on my magic rock first wait holy [ __ ] come on damn this place is [ __ ] huge holy [ __ ] we still gotta find out what that purple thing is though [Music] what the [ __ ] damn we're gonna go all the way up to the top of the mountain to talk to a dragon dude that's what it's all about man oh wow i always really like how my games have like the uh the light that shines through i think that's one of the coolest things like new world does a great job at this i love it so seeing this here is really really nice yeah the sun flares this is great i've never seen this before wow oh [ __ ] here we go all right boys let's do it do it [Music] i thought i was gonna be like dude what the [ __ ] why did you start my solitude holy [ __ ] wow falcore yeah true jesus grace velga those speakers and every creature the weight of the race of bourbon leave me [Music] what the [ __ ] he's missing he is missing an eye i didn't even see that holy [ __ ] this guy got [ __ ] up 12. pioneers hear the tongue of dragons yet the meaning is clear within my mind how can that be subtitles brace felger do you not remember me it was i whom you found in dravania i who glimpsed the truth oh [ __ ] the truth about your past about shiva he's pissed but speak it i must i have summoned shiva's soul from the beyond and offered myself as her vessel she has made her heart known to me what the [ __ ] wait so can she turn into shiva right now like what would he do if she did that well i feel like that would be like a little awkward right what the [ __ ] descended from the heavens yeah the secrets of our harder mind and those [Music] what the [ __ ] i have surrendered mine to her do you not see my love i am shiva reborn okay i knew she was crazy i knew it i'm your wife please listen to me i wonder what he's gonna say [Music] gullible fool [Music] damn denied not grant the omniscience oh but a shade conjured by thy own fancy it's not shiva she just got friend zoned by a dragon she's she's actually a cosplayer that that's that's literally what he said he's calling her a cosplayer uh in an age-long past my own and can or uh guilty of that folly uh beguiled by the dark ones lies they attempted to resurrect the king amongst worms yet the divinity they called forth merely borrowed the power send one to my fallen brood brother yeah that was baphomet wasn't it such gods are not summoned but created phantoms spun from the threads of misplaced faith bro him and the redditor are going to get along real well both members of our slash atheism then the spirit that answered me yep you got catfished was but thy dream of shiva thy soul has been corrupted by a deity of thy own making child [Music] be that as it may lord trace felger bisel's desire to heal the rift between man and dragon is real and it has borne us this far nice conviction well like imagine imagine the whole time you thought that you were like this is like basically if somebody thinks they're jesus and the jesus comes down and he says no you're not jesus it will be in a little bit of an existential crisis we would spare both our kind and yours the ravages of this senseless war pray join your voice to ours in a call for peace and forgiveness the dragon is pretty badass i can see why she'd want to [ __ ] him i'm just saying this uh the tale of the uh of thy kind is one of avarice treachery and death and now would speak to me of peace [Music] the naked truth then tell me thou deserveth forgiveness [Music] twelve hundred years ago my beloved shiva's sacrifice served to bring an end to the war to its men and dragon paving the way for an age of peace and cooperation two centuries of harmony were to follow during which the time elysian learned much about us at least not least that the eyes of the great worm are the wellspring of his strength just a little bit awkward was i the selfish desire to possess the strength that king thoradan conspired to undo all of our peoples achieved together with the aid of his leel knights and the most noble of elysian lured my brother sister uh radiskur into the ambush into an ambush and took from her that which he craved he stole her [ __ ] eyes dude bro this shit's savage what the [ __ ] fame would i strike the image from my mind yet still the scene doth linger of my brood sister's tattered corpse defiled by her arizian allies they had torn out her eyes and feasted upon them in the manner of wild beasts what the [ __ ] god yo these guys are nuts even that was not all from for from their bloody banquet the fiends had gained strength beyond that of mortal men even now i labor to comprehend the enormity of their betrayal yeah it seems pretty bad my dog was the first horn of this atrocity and he took to the skies hungry for vengeance but though he slew king thoradan and some few of his knights their fellow butchers knew all too well were to aim their spears and with the now practice savagery they set my about my brood brother sending him flailing from the field man uh esthinian uh maybe he maybe we shouldn't have brought him here i feel like this is gonna be uh awkward such is true the holy see would like to keep hidden such was the beginning of the dragon song war it's a song that my kind shall never forget then should ten thousand years pass and ishgard crumble the dust why not just give the guy his eye back and say [ __ ] off we didn't do it seems pretty simple uh-oh yeah your tail bears scant resemblance to the one i was taught how convenient that it should absolve your kind of all responsibility but tell me dragon why should i believe your version of events dude this guy doesn't give a [ __ ] what thou chooses to believe is immaterial the uh the betrayal that yet haunts mine every waking moment is no less than the truth to my kind my dog meaneth for thor dan's people to suffer for this sin until the end of days that now which imagines the war of extinction but a punishment a siege of the spirit hast thou not seen those who tire of the torment those who abandoned their own side abandoned their own and side with dragon kind ishgard so-called heretics that's true know that all the traitors progeny uh bear a trace of radicure's essence but a single sip of our blood is enough to awaken it then the seed lies within us what the [ __ ] ye god i have borne witness to such a transformation looked hard heretic assumed the shape of a dragon i imagined it's some manner of girvani and enchantment but if any ish guardian regardless of allegiance has such potential within them twelve forgive us to think of all the dragons with slain so if an ish guardian drinks a dragon's blood they turn into a dragon am i getting this right bro i bet she's gonna i bet she's gonna try to do it i i care i bet she's gonna try to do it there will be always be some of course who choose to fight until the bitter end like the dragoon but struggle is thou might that youthful vigor will be spent here thou reaches two score and ten and nigh dog shall remain to torment the offspring your offspring oft if i wondered why nidhogg did not simply raise ishgard to the ground that's a good point yeah now i have my answer he has no intention of winning the dragon song war for it is no war at all but vengeance an eternal requiem sung for his murdered sister uh he's probably pissed off about it i mean it does make sense have you can print have you comprised com have i comprehended thou now the futility of thy quest yeah i have not come this far only to admit defeat we can still return the eye to nidhogg and beg forgiveness for our ancestors crime i don't know if he's gonna be okay with that will sway him stubborn child thou thinkest in mortal terms our perception of time is too broad for thee to grasp it's a simple matter of thee to offer their apologies the others not participate the crime uh despite that visions the deeds of history seem distant to thee yeah for a worm such as nine dog however the history is yet part of the present as fresh as the blood that did gush from rastaker's wounds how could he not be driven mad this only by the calming embrace of shiva's soul that my own fury hath not consumed me but let us speak no more about what is done my faith in your kind is spent and i would be alone get it yeah get off my lawn this girl is not going to be happy oh my god oh my [ __ ] god wait what the hell were those dragons next to me what the [ __ ] oh wow those are [ __ ] badass dude those those dragons look at that dude look at that dude oh my god wow alfredo is considering your party's next course of action yeah this is not good boys this is not good at all well what do you propose we do now i for one am intent on continuing to the east i think we just killed my dog that's the plan because if he's gonna keep [ __ ] causing trouble we gotta get rid of his ass what is there to be found in the east nidhogg's lair the airy is said to lie in that direction and the eye tells me he is near he's gonna go [ __ ] kill the director cannot still mean to slay him you cannot steal me not to are you crazy you just learned everything you thought was true wasn't true are you stupid you cannot still mean to stop me i have been true to my word and aided you in this fool's errand with rice vulgar uh-huh uh-huh true very very true that's exactly what i was thinking but your efforts at pali have come to naught lady iceheart i would see ishgard saved and for that nidhogg must die i like how he doesn't even call her by her name man with the tail of our ancestors vile betrayal yet ringing in your ears you speak of continuing this war what do you mean they're continuing it you're no they're the ones we're retaliating nay lady i would but pierce its vengeful heart when nidhogg dies this war shall die with him hopefully yeah a moment is smart you yourself spoke of the great worm strength that you believed him powerful enough to raise your city to the ground how then are we few to challenge him i don't know we got to keep leveling up but he's got the [ __ ] eye this look this guy's obviously got a few tricks up his sleeve this guy's [ __ ] at any time he's offered to 1v1 any of the dragons that we've come in contact with i think that should go to show that you know yeah we've got oh we have to buy the boost true yeah sun synthetic even behind the stout walls of ishgard with an army of knights manning the defenses our victory would be hard won yup yet you propose to contend with the beast in his own lair yes just go in there and get him in close combat this will afford us an advantage and if the tales are true the warrior of light has bested many an invincible foe and that's true that's true so i just got to kill i didn't kill his ass myself but such speculation is meaningless if we cannot even find the worm our first task must be to seek we gotta get it yeah we gotta find this [ __ ] and we gotta kill him the story of this nation grows bloodier by the moment must death always be answered with more of the same what do you mean are you stupid they're so stupid they literally said they're not going to stop until everybody's dead so unless you want to die then we have to stop that we have to retaliate such is the way of things i fear i shall consider it a miracle if mine armor is not stained crimson air this conflict has ended damn it's a rhetorical question be blinded by my own lies i don't know it wasn't for her relieved everything i thought i was gone all gone yeah that's the way it goes leave her your words will not reach her now and we have not the time to wait for her to gather up the pieces of her shattered faith [Laughter] damn jesus dude he just walks away doesn't don't worry about it don't worry about working itself out if guardians killed her sister and ate her and their grandchildren are washed yeah yeah i know it's not good but they didn't do it what is that no that's his layer wait what i that would be the airy i feel nidhogg's presence through the eye his caustic hatred gnawing at my soul he's pissed it would seem the death of his consort has put him on guard mark how he wards his lair with tempestuous winds it's true our entrance to the primal garuda's domain until we discovered the means by which it could be penetrated okay we have to discover optimum penetration methods then my habit is time we called upon master garland oh [ __ ] just like the good old days no oh [ __ ] before sufficient to break through the primals defenses might conceivably grant us answers to the airy i can offer no better solution pray console the engineer friend of yours okay let's talk to him oh i'm very well one conditioned you swear not to wear an eye dog from his lair in our absence and steal all the glory for myself you mean no i'm not so selfish as that contact me via link pearl uh when your preparations are complete and we shall set forth and this guard together okay let's go talk to sid he's gonna be able to help us feast your eyes upon our latest and greatest feat of engineering we call it a mana cutter nice after you put down gaius wedging me struck out on our phone and started working for a tiny bronco that's nice i like that tiny bronco impressive little thing isn't she my talent for ship design has plainly rubbed off on them it seems that way they've adapted the principles of corrupted crystal technology and constructed a mechanism which converts ether from its surroundings into elemental wind wind is then harnessed by the specially engineered sails providing the craft with propulsion and lift all in all a most elegant solution okay great the new ish guardian airship hasn't left the boys much time for tinkering meaning it may be a while before this particular project takes off so a fly theoretically theoretically flies okay who's this guy oh no tataru what's happened i've been looking all over for you there's been word from older oh [ __ ] it's about her grace the sultana oh [ __ ] what happened oh they don't know that's right it seems you're required elsewhere leave the mona cutter with you okay we'll see that she's airworthy and suitably equipped to slice through those winds slice i like that you know the emphasis on the slice you meanwhile should concentrate on providing rauban and the sultana whatever help they need well how's it do aren't did they even know about this that that [ __ ] was all like whatever like oh my god wedge and bigs were my favorite nah man they're my favorite i don't know what my favorite character real i think it's tiny is my favorite character so far [Music] thanks a lot for watching today guys i really appreciate it i'm gonna run some ads and then i'm gonna call it a day thank you all very much i'll see you very soon follow my twitter for updates so until next time boys [Music] you

Channel: Asmongold TV

Views: 552,198

Rating: 4.9123001 out of 5

Keywords: asmongold, asmongold reacts, asmongold wow, asmongold highlights, asmongold youtube, asmongold tv, ZackRawrr, asmongold ffxiv, final fantasy 14, ffxiv, ff14, ff14 heavensward, final fantasy 14 heavensward, asmongold ff14, asmongold heavensward, Heavensward, asmongold FFXIV, wow ffxiv, final fantasy, asmongold plays ffxiv, asmongold plays final fantasy, final fantasy xiv, ff xiv, ff 14, ffxiv heavensward, ffxiv heavensward trailer, ffxiv expansion, ffxiv first expansion

Id: ZPMFChg5YUo

Length: 154min 7sec (9247 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 09 2021