Vicious Vikings | Compilation | Horrible Histories

history it's time for you to invade Britain to fight the battles of the brave Viking warriors contest being a Viking was an old fight fight fight we like to look good too and what you're about to see you're all genuine Viking beauty treatments Heron everywhere [Music] Oh what is it with you Vikings that you're always coming in on a Saturday it's tradition you know Vikings like to do their grooming on Saturdays look I just have a hair wash does it look like a cab I mean some of these Vikings made their apartments weeks ago okay okay okay I brought ID no Shelly's run off a fake mustache trimming as a case oh please I've got a long ship raid for a fortnight from Wednesday I just want to look my best look you know us Vikings take our grooming very seriously all right I've got cancellation Tuesday morning I can fit you in for a hair wash down a plant there I don't know it's cutting it a bit fine Suzanne yes I'll see if Shelley can put you in a box remove at the same time hmm you've got a new vacuum here spoon Shelley show me no a spoon oh that is brilliant cheer Suzanne I'll see you then Oh Eric that's you don't know who's next for a hair wash Vikings were incredibly clean they really did like to wash groom themselves every Saturday they had ear wax spoons into everything I just stood my tea with that Vikings had some pretty weird beliefs here are our top three at number three Vikings believed that the first man and woman came from the sweat of a giant arm my name is Eric Bloodaxe and who might you be I am a Scot the clumsy I would call it a draw Vikings were known in history by their first names and their nicknames there really was one called as got the clumsy and even one called con smelly feet no prizes for guessing how he got his name Viking belief number two Vikings believed that the sky was held up by four dwarves called north south east and west the sky no wonder giant keep hitting head weight Vikings did believe some funny things we thought that if we died in battle then we get to go to Viking heaven but if we died any other way we'd go to Viking hell fish died in battle what do you think and you go welcome to Valhalla Viking heaven I know a Scott the brave well I should be well Valhalla's only for Vikings who died in battle did you die in battle yes I can't just let anyone in Belle Isle is a very popular place you get to drink all night from the skulls of your enemies you get to fight all day great what would happen out of interest if say you didn't die in battle say you died in bed where would you go well then I'd have to send you down to Viking hell that's a freezing fast halt whose roof timbers are made from the spines of serpents which dripped poison onto those below and you have nothing to drink but gold well it's a good job I died in battle then because I did dying back all right this has got the clumsy he was having breakfast in bed accidentally stabbed himself with his own dagger this idiot so you didn't die in battle then you did in fact die in bed yes suppose it's a pint of goats urine for me then isn't it Viking belief number one the Vikings believed that their god Thor once dressed up as a woman to fool a giant who had stolen his hammer Thor went to get it back oh very pretty girl pretty girl huh Giants head sky too low Oh stinky no fun being Viking Giles we Vikings were always invading Saxon Britain and killing people in 1016 we even killed the Saxon King of England Edmund the second and you're going to love how he did it [Music] I'm sorry can you check me in first place you'll have to wait your turn take a seat now that's just it I can't my bottom hurts oh ok ok right name open the second year of death 10 16 8 a profession King King of England method of death well I died on the toilet Oh excellent I love a good toilet death story go on well I say toilets hearts our Saxon toilet our most sophisticated a little more than a pit in the ground nose yeah and unfortunately as I squatted over the toilet poop it yeah well it turns out there was a Viking hiding in it and he stabbed me twice for underneath with a dagger stop press had been sick and died from dagger at the bottom funny a lot of English words come straight from the Viking language like this lot welcome what really welcome you don't think we're giving out mixed messages and here is another surprising Viking fact a well-known nursery rhyme is actually about a Viking attack is it a ring a ring a roses B London Bridge is falling down or C The Owl and the Pussycat the answer is B London Bridge is falling down it's about a Viking attack on London and here's one more thing you probably didn't know about the Vikings contrary to popular opinion Viking warriors didn't actually have cow horns on their helmets that's right in fact they had moose antlers no didn't know no silly me they had funny ears don't be ridiculous big pink bows then of course not cow by Odin's thunder well what did you have bad nothing we had nothing on our helmets isn't that a bit boring we're fighting battles not having a fashion parade what would be the use of having great big cow on is on your head in the real Saxons actually that is rather faulty [Music] that's right Vikings didn't actually go to battle with horns on their helmets it's a shame really cuz it's a smashing look the idea was in fact made up in Victorian times to be honest lots of historical facts turn out just not to be true so watch what your teachers tell you shai whoa I'm a bit actually um stop staring at me I'm going red we Vikings really were a surprising bunch I mean how do you think we told stories about our gruesome battles we told them with poems we really did cuz it's easier to remember a rhyme greetings my friend it's great to be back and just wait till you see what I've got in my sack we pillaged this monastery down by the coast and divided the looter but I got the most then we drowned some monks and went back on the ship all in all I would say not a bad little trip what ya don't know if you were aware at the time but everything you just said seemed to run no that's perfectly normal nothing under there it's just a good way for his Vikings to share the tales of battles we've had well stir way we could write it down but it's nicer to say well I wouldn't say nicer not nice as such because most of the time it's all blood and guts and stabbing and looting and violence and hate but you say it in rhyme and it makes us sound great I think it sounds silly well you're doing it too this is just practice messing around the real battle poems would truly astound the stirring and epic a real work of art I could read you one now I've learnt it by heart enough with the poems I'm getting annoyed but this is about all the terms we've destroyed don't want to hear it just leave me alone I think you'll like this one it's one of my own red flames swallowed up men's roofs as we raged and cut them down body skewered lay there sleepy in the gateways of the town both brutal and touching a most potent blend I think you could do with a joke at the end it's not about jokes I'm spreading the word down the generations that verse will be heard seriously stop it now it's making me cross and I'm not even gonna make that bit right that's your loss but for me I'm afraid this is more than a game I'm a warrior poet and soon will come Fame and years in the future they'll speak of a time when Eric the Viking spoke only in words that sound the same as each other oh I think I've stopped brilliant do you fancy a Bali Kinks didn't always rhyme what could be worse but many famous stories were written in first took me all week to wit that one out Vikings loved playing with words one by King called his most prized possession leg biter but was leg biter a his guard dog be his sword or see his pet polar bear the answer is B his sword was called leg biter because its bite could kill [Music] [Music] you'll enjoy Horrible Histories

Channel: Horrible Histories

Views: 91,412

Rating: 4.9253111 out of 5

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Id: IDzGv2mEazs

Length: 14min 43sec (883 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 11 2020