Horrible Histories - Putrid Pirates | Compilation

shiver me timbers daggers darkest macaw it's not you you salty sea dog no you must be mistaken me for somebody else No why are you wearing a false beard Shh I'm in disguise me life is in danger I tried to stage a mutiny on ship now captain gray is baying for me blood but he's a fellow pirate he wouldn't just kill you we'd have to warn you first by sending you a little low no I think you mean by sending me yes pirate shorthand for we're going to kill you if you stick around you'll be killed if you try and run you'll be king yes thank you that's make me feel so much better yep it's fine isn't it because you haven't actually received the black spot yeah well not yet I haven't but now I'm out in the open it could happen at any moment you know I was no no no I was writing my shopping list earlier and my quill pen broke and I spilt some ink it's not the blacks right was my goodness sir that's a relief cuz I I was having squid in ink for me dinner and a bit must have splashed on my sleeve Thanks you know because I thought that was Wendy she was born like that she's got another one down look you're not gonna get killed unless you receive a note with the black spot on it and I think if that was gonna happen it would have happened by now yeah well I suppose you're right thanks for setting me straight anyway best be off night daggers well he doesn't know can't hurt him oh I stand corrected when I was a nipper I boarded a clipper sail the seas as a Goods and Porter Oh Edward teaches my name but I earned my famous black beard the pirate of the water was a jolly chap with a jaunty cap always gave my crew good quarter oh but I'm best known for blood and guts and gore and a vicious reign of murdering and slaughter left my home in Bristol with a sword and pistol bid a fond farewell to old whitey oh what my enemies feared was my thick black beard which I always enjoyed setting lights to once I had a thing for a captives lovely ring the Chum like a jewel in the 90 when the man said no I just said oh and chopped off his hand and said righty-o oh I love to sail the ocean with my flag that inspired emotion we did smiling pals smashing house with Nevada study motion and I love to escape detection man to win my Cruz affection which was nothing to do the 12 guns he wore on his belt before protection I was awfully nice but I had the old fights which occasionally caused a commotion per thing that I do was shoot members of my crew if they didn't show enough devotion once when very irate I shot my first mate Israel hands for a bit of pleasure oh and when my dead screw killed half of my crew to increase my share of the treasure was doing well then seemed to run out of men my captors boarded at the leisure smoke me dead then capped off my head and displayed it on my mouth spoke of measure o genders chop chop his head destroyed on the Mars for good man do you want your skin to look this good then you need to try the ultimate exfoliating experience new keelhauling the pirates' skincare revolution keelhauling will remove all that unsightly skin actually it removes most of your skin all you need is a pirate vessel a long rope lots of sea and an angry captain I've got your shiver me timbers your beards right let's see how you enjoy some kill hard here's how it works the rope is fixed to your legs you're thrown overboard and hold under the whole and over the keel of the ship then pulled up on the other side to reveal the new year thanks to the secret ingredient barnacles keelhauling has never been so painful you can really see the difference keelhauling now with new added barnacles and don't miss our exclusive introductory offer get keelhauled this month and get thrashed by a cat-o'-nine-tails whip absolutely free I think he's missed a bit horn being keelhauled can result in death being whipped by cat-o'-nine-tails can result in death being a pirate will probably result in death always read the label oh there's a lady I'm gonna put my patch over my good eye like that'd be horrible it's me your captain so it is shiver me timbers captain seriously what is going on it's my brilliant new tactic for capturing rich merchant ships if they think we're all women they'll never guess we're actually pirates can sail nice and close to their ship leap aboard slower the lot of them and steal all their treasure here be your disguise is right what's the problem oh girl okay hands up who's got a better idea I said hands up jack Oh [Laughter] Jack's got a suggestion okay what if we was to lower the Jolly Roger and put up the distress flag instead a ship always has to come to the help of another ship in distress but when they look through their telescopes and see that we are pirates they'll be long gone yes but why have we was to make it look like we've all been massacred we lays on day covers ourselves in red paint pretend that we been slaughtered then the crew come aboard seriously why would you do that sorry hand out the red paint then Jack what did you say I said I didn't bring any red paint he didn't bring any paint no I want the pink one that's my birth colour welcome to the pirate shopping channel I'm Black Bart and this here be Cutlass lays today we'll be selling all of the booty that we stole on the high seas starting with some fine clothes all of our prices have been slashed and so if many of the clothes well we did have to kill the owners first that's right and we like some of their fine clothes so much they were actually wearing them now beautiful aren't they oh I think your parrot may have pooped on your shoulder look I got it they're enough and it's not just beautiful clothes if it's jewelry you're after we've got some wonderful rings yes we do but together with the fingers they came on hmm obviously we pirates are always in a bit of a hurry so if the ring won't come off the finger easy we just chopped off the finger and if they've got lots of rings just chop off the whole hand sorry what was that I didn't hear you nice one Liz yes we've got earrings too we've actually got something even more precious we've got some sugar sugar freshly stolen from an English cargo ship in the Caribbean wow that really is precious oh this ba5 barrel pistol oh and with that many barrels you really have to hit something how much does that retail for Liz oh no this isn't a apartness well what'd you expect I'm still a pirate now give me that sugar and the Rings and the earrings take them do you want my jacket too now you could keep the jacket it's covered in poo you won't be wanting the trousers either then swap the deck this time I've excelled myself Fisher I mean other Pirates have got it all wrong why risk life and limb attacking ships on the whole scene when you can just steal a herd of cows from a field on dry land captain battle hoods pirate extraordinaire go and check on the cows will you aye aye captain we'll sell these cows for huge profit this is quite simply my best buy never the count seems to be a bit seasick sir nice peeling going on down there I've got vomit on the walls vomit on the ceiling got some vomit on me okay maybe this wasn't my best plan ever just too much of it okay no vomit down there I can't take this much longer Oh what are we gonna do over there two on the horizon the Navy if they see us they'll arrest us we're pirate puzzle hurt I'm arresting you for being a pirate do you surrender to the English Navy fighting I do thank you very much now please can you take us on your nice clean ship what was that nothing just ignore it well board your ship now and surrender at once come up I definitely heard something no that was Fischer stomach calling Fischer that's Smith what's that terrible awful smell it's my watch there's cattle down here and this ship is disgusting we're leaving and you heard you're free to go take a vomit ship with you no please don't leave please next time let's just stick to stealing treasure who's in charge you the man in charge that'd be me I am reasonably familiar with a pirate parlance perhaps I could translate proceed landlubber basically means someone who is clumsy while aboard a ship if that's what you mean why don't you just speak properly silence score every name is that it again translation please scurvy is a nasty disease you can get at sea and knave well he's basically calling you a villain sir if he wants to call me ask a beer villain why didn't he just say so well shiver me timbers I'll have this bill drat Kehaar well if a ship gets a sudden blast from a cannon than the wooden masks or timbers are shaken or shivered it's kind of an expression of surprise and build use the very bottom of a ship dirty stinking place filled with rats hence bilge rat and keelhauled a traditional pirate punishment where your feet are tied and you are dragging under the water rubbing against the barnacles bottom of the ship you'd be torn to pieces that threat certainly would have had me quaking in my boots if I'd had any idea what it meant speak English Oh so is mal that translation please sew his mouth up well shiver me timbers I think I've just filled my kill with boot Oh getting a bit me yo yo yo yo hhtv whining flat beer and this here is my crib the Queen Anne's Revenge and I loves her mmm bear assaulting made in Britain but on the inside it's got kind of a classic French vibe askers the French stole it off the British and then we still have the French so when we nicked her she was a French merchant ship that we needed a pirate ship so we pimped her up change the logo the old one was watch we get the chef though those dudes can cook it Oh check out the music system I got in the app oh yeah proper ban in that yo this is the booty room this is where I keep my gold and sugar sweet and my medicine said or rather not so soon just gotta show you the toilet I put in for their true state of the Arts it's basically a rope cage over the ocean they love a pool with a view right front sparse what's your Mon capitain lunch smells good what you cooking me to feed with maggots followed by biscuits cover D we ages the food always kind of rots once we've been at sea for a few weeks put some cannons in got 40 of these bad boys out over here we got some homies chillin out a half- possible sprite might be kicked up my back behind love this guy cracks me up who is here's the man himself Israel hands say hello Israel when he guarded about you've gotta get your Swagger Jagger on right this is my room this is where I keep all my nice rich clothes I stole them off people I killed ah yes quite a nice scarf up there

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Rating: 4.9311867 out of 5

Keywords: horrible histories, horrible histories full episodes, horrible histories movie, horrible histories trailer, horrible histories tv show, horrible histories episodes, horrible history, cbbc, horrible histories episodes in english, horrible histories songs, cbbc history, rotten romans, terrible tudors, slimy stuarts, vicious vikings, awful egyptians, history for kids, tv show for kids, putrid pirates, blackbeard horrible histories

Id: 9VRFR81x8ME

Length: 15min 44sec (944 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 07 2019