HorribleHistories Prom

this is mike peabody for hhtv news i've reported from some of the worst war zones in history but today has to be one of the most terrifying of my life yes I'm at the red carpet at the Royal Albert Hall for the Horrible Histories prom we've got Vikings we've got plague victims we've got Cleopatra and Henry the eighth all under the same roof it's going to be absolute carnage right think I can see yes it's Charles the second your majesty merely have a quick word oh yes of course how's it going where's the party at yes I think it's going to be more of a concert than a party trust me wherever I am there's a party oh there's Queen Victoria she's a fox and single since the death of her husband yes single yes but permanently in mourning whatever you do do not mention Howard yes your majesty your majesty welcome to the Royal Albert Hall oh good run Mike I was in there well it looks like the show is about to start so I have to take my seat for what promises to be absolute chaos oh I can't believe I'm late it's very hard to get a taxi when you're a rat I have to do this old-school surely you think she's never seen a Rackham average Euler before oh well I can hear I was so splat Sarah first up by Strauss the show must be starting to show us Chris Darden I should like take it horrified hello and welcome to hhtv news the headlines today thousands gather at the Royal Albert Hall for a special Horrible Histories prom Henry the eighth and Charles the second arrived for this unusual Royal Variety Performance in which a variety of Royals will perform King Ethelred the unready totally forgets what day the concerts on our lead story is the special concert in which the Aurora Orchestra and their conductor Nick Colin are ready to guide us through the best bits of the history of music but first the origins of the orchestra involve a tuneful tale full of twists and turns so here with a summary is Bob Hale with the orchestra report Bob thank you Sam and thank you ladies and gentlemen well behind me I am reliably informed is an orchestra yep barrier a big group of people all playing music together but where did they come from well some came from as far away as Guildford hello Simon but the concept of an orchestra comes from even further away in fact it existed as far back as ancient Greece home unsurprisingly of the ancient Greeks who come up not only with the word orchestra but also with the first musical scales and some instruments to play them on things like the panpipes percussion and something called a liar though it looks pretty trustworthy to me and then just when we have something approaching an orchestra along time the dark ages the church band instruments and that's the end of that but not for long in the medieval era groups make a comeback this time with ridiculously named instruments such as the serpent the racket the crown Hall and the sack but you just blew down a sack but and if you played them all together they sound like this absolutely awful which is probably why modern orchestras don't use them anymore but they do use this thank you very much written music which thanks to the invention of the printing press during the Renaissance can now be shared around there you go meaning we can all now get down to the same banging tunes and as dance music's popularity grows so does the orchestra as they add a trumpet and a tarry like a big bag of wing sorry part of that was me shouldn't about the polonaise in fact by the time we enter the so-called Baroque period some orchestras have as many as thirty people in now including drums that do Wed then receive Baroque period merges into the classical one having your own personal composer becomes the in thing all the best composers are hired by the kings and queens of Europe meaning if you don't want to work for the Royals you're basically stuck between the rock and a hard place little joke there like one box it hangs talking of little along comes Mozart who starts writing music at just two years old proving his a complete genius and a horrible show-off then he grows up writes a thousand Tunes discovers the clarinet and then dies kills by rival composer Salieri in a jealous rage or possibly not no one really knows but we do know that while Mozart made a big noise in the music world it wasn't as big a noise as Beethoven boo partly because he's deaf makes the orchestra bigger and louder than ever before which means as we enter the Romantic period some orchestras have swollen to a whopping 100 pieces which is so I'm wielding no offense guys that they need someone to keep them all in time so come down to the pier hello and in no time at all becomes bigger and more famous than the orchestra themselves alright mate don't steal Japan and with everything getting bigger including somebody's ego well then the venue's have to get bigger too so it's goodbye to Royal Palaces and hello to enormous new concert halls and in these huge halls modern music goes absolutely crazy and now ladies and gentlemen I would like you to go crazy as for my big finale I present my favorite modern musical masterpiece played with a pawn for you and you only buy the one the only time straddling put some big pot fondly hit-making august yeah take it away Bob [ __ ] I can't hear anything of course you can't this is John Cage's classic four minutes and 33 seconds porn half minutes of absolute silence and you enjoy that wait this is the best bit oh so good thank you boys thank you for listening and back to you Sam so it seems that the orchestra as we know it began life in medieval times which is around the same time as Bob I had that and you are meant to coming up next in hhtv news we go over to the medieval era oh no wait I have some breaking news it seems I'm being I'm being told I'm not allowed to start yet because some Georgian Kings want to be allowed to sing first so I will hand you over now live to King's George George George and George for the story of the four George's I took the throne of England just cos I was Portis tanta German prince whose English tank King George Namba von I like to argue now that's clear especially with my father here before I died of diarrhea I fought with my son I broke records with my 60-year reign and I broke the scales with my giant frame you King George for free one and two you had to do what we told you to just because our blood I was the hunk girls adored me ladies ah spoon before me they would do anything for me I'd have their husbands keys had a war with Prince Charles for me everyone said that I was for for funny I spent everyone's money how subjects were not thrilled I was the sad farm and I was the bad one I was the mad one and I was the fat one we were George's 1/3 England's King oh we were jamming to him then him then launched on front then I died on people hated us and we hated them too for 200 me I was mighty and a [ __ ] kangaroo be I would have been more at home in a zoo our song I'll have to share a dressing room my dad Oh must you leave your pants lying around they're not my pants they're yours look the size of them you're much bigger than me that's right I am bigger than you and don't you forget it that's why I have a solo and you don't Oh what time am I on pops there are no pages first we have music to represent the Middle Ages Danse Macabre by sans home told that death and features skimming Tain's been brought to life by fiddler on this is a rare treat as having an actual conversation rather than you just being man ooh it's being played by an orchestra of lemons and chickens ha ha ha ha and he's back I thought this concert was supposed to cheer me up Fortescue they played music about yes I miss outfit I think I did will comfort food what happened to the popcorn mom oh it's finished you should have bought me a large table instead of this tiny one it did take two of us to carry it one yeah right what's next Oh a Richard the third he only reigned from 1483 to 1485 that that's two years I reigned for 63 he shouldn't even be able to call himself a king if he only reigned for two years he should be called a a kin or a key as you say hmm let's see what Keith Richard has dispelled you know I thought he's a nasty piece of work honestly some people just seem to have the wrong idea about me they all seem to think I'm this vicious murdering hunchback well it's about time I set them straight I was sure that you'd love me to that hook I did cling cuz I'm Richard the third and everybody loves a king don't they what I did a good job why do you disagree there's a lot of people spreading nasty rumors about me every word is a lie so I'm seeing this song because the history books have been telling it never had and him always walk my father I'd never had a husband my arm was alright never took the crown with an evil power ever killed my nephews the princes in the tower chewed a propaganda it's all absurd time to tell the truth about King Richard the third my brother Edward died his kids too young to rule so I took the drones use me why not I'm nobody's fool hi T Tom a small room tech history said I murdered Edwards boys Shakespeare says their death was an evil ploy hi but I see those two are historical vandals they've ruined my image I mean what a scanner never bumped off those artists young Ayres ever buried them under the Tower of London stairs never poisoned my wife bumped off my daddy this is me sweet Richard do I look like a body love never was two-faced sure you'll agree I was misunderstood King Richard three can you imagine it I'm the last Plantagenet beaten by every in the wars the Judah dynasty in Canada but for me now I'm thinking as a body that's why one my crimes tell my brother in a vast amount of wine never said my kingdom for a horse who may not apply William Shakespeare of course now my tale is told you will hear about work about a special ruler the third I'm a nice guy yes oh maybe that's more like true and factually accurate but my version of Richard the third was far more entertaining I mean I never let facts get in the way of a good story still I might hide here until he's gone what's next Oh a bit from the ballet of Romeo and Juliet another one of mine with some music by Prokofiev but mainly me I think you'll find all the best bits of this concept are and more where all this is the bit where Romeo takes on Thibault revenge in the death of his best friend it's already on quite brilliant Romeo and Juliet a burny I'm missing it watch out Romeo I'm so good I call not cats may have nine lives but those rats only have one here it's the wrong way round if you ask me did you know when Prokofiev first presented this music to the Bolshoi Ballet Company in 1935 they said he wasn't danceable well I beg to differ what Fighting's over Your Majesty may I present mr. Neil short purveyor of theatrical snacks Your Majesty how did you say what on earth yes yes I want popcorn chocolates and a tub of raspberry ripple ice cream ah I'm afraid we're only selling historical snacks today ma'am or they're being me Horrible Histories prom oh I don't like where this is headed what have you got um I've got some snacks from ancient Greece that what did they eat roasted goat long I don't think so I can do you a mini - mm um well I guess is it strawberry no chicken brain Oh disgusting do you have anything that's in the slightest bit edible do have a jelly made from fish bladders revolting who hey Dad the cavemen no that would be you Victorians mum oh well I'll take one of those it oh and see if you can find me some as tips they're rolling in chocolate little bit complicated buying it off the loo they use the chocolate as money very good I don't take one of the chicken brain blue Monza's it's for a friend if he comes back without chocolate you chop his head off I don't think you can do that anymore mom no I wish I was Queen and Henry the eighth's time he could do what he liked Oh how does that song of his girl funny you should say that mom he's on now oh here we go ha ha divorce beheaded and died divorced beheaded survived I'm Henry Lee if I had six re wives some might say I ruined their lives ha ha ha Catherine of Aragon was one she failed to give me a son I had to ask her for a divorce that prim purple heart of course young Anne Boleyn she was too had a daughter the best she could do I said she flirted with some other man and offer the chop went down lovely Jane Seymour was 3 the love of our lifetime for me she gave me a son nickel Prince head then for Jane went and dropped dead who dear divorced beheaded died divorced beheaded survived I meant mediate I have 625 okay here we go Anne of Cleves came at fall I felt betrayed I saw they laid eyes on her face and cried she's a horse I must have another divorce Katherine Howard was five a child of nineteen so alive she flirted with others no way to behave the acts sent young cats are grave catherine parr she was lost by then all my best days were passed I lay on my deathbed aids just 55 lucky Catherine the last stayed alive I mean how unfair divorced beheaded died divorced beheaded survived I'm Tiffany in five six re wife today I preferred that I Oh divorced beheaded and died divorced beheaded survived catchy song that might have to do one about my father the King Charles song beheaded died might be a bit short what's on now march to the scaffold by Berlioz more executions this party's getting a bit depressing to go in there and sort them all out but jus some victims there [ __ ] all watch whoo hold your horses chat it doesn't say anything in here about beheadings bit of a downer this is supposed to be family entertainment I mean you don't want to see people being beheaded do you children like all your weird some of you it happened to my dad and I don't think he liked it very much you know won't do at all come on let's cheer things up if you've been blindfolded by those nasty men free yourselves and let's party you can't do that do you think you are I'll tell you who I am my name is my name is my name is charles ii i love the people and the people loved me so much that they restore the English monarchy I've a Scottish French Italian a little bit day for 100% party animal champagne spaniels I adore lived after me too like me they would walk with a natty hairdo yesterday my birthday I can't recall that I'm a party anyway because I'm at my last ball King brought back partying King Charles my daddy was his Burger Kings from ban they chopped off his head then on promo the land old Ollie wasn't charlie he was Romany we're proud we must reverse it savings not allowed but only like the people Charlie higher back you'd rather party such as what they killed the mother keepers sorry naturally was followed by a few celebration King look back partying later on the fire was a while our rain on the city came across this Keith did what was right I'm a fire stopper Mary Katherine Bracken so she also loves him there will never be another well maybe one or two Lucy Walter Nell Gwyn moldavia's well remilia think that's bad the Dame Cecilia as king I must admit I broke the wedding rules but who cares when I brought back the crown jewels i reinstated whispers because wasn't even played i was the merry monarch they were do it all day is the king laughs I every what my song is done anyone calm down son hit not that bad I'm over here they are mm-hmm it's so unfair Charles the seconds have a solo Henry the eighth's have a solo where's my solo ooh someone's in a bad mood me then hopefully the next piece will calm him down oh oh Handel's Royal Fireworks music don't think that'll help this music for the Royal Fireworks was written by Handel for King George the second and when it was first performed they had a massive fireworks display on a huge wooden stage which caught fire ah and just in case that happens here I've brought a marshmallow along to toast ah it's dropped off somewhere nah gonna have to slip off for an early interval check the bins for another one scusi well we're at the end of the first half it's time for a short interval so far things seem to be going without a hitch that's probably because they're keeping the Vikings locked up in their dressing room got me here for music no no no we're already halfway through you're late man no no mean you're late man me early man alright I see no no no I meant I know you meant me oh no no no hello hi I'm a shouty man and I'm here to tell you about the fantastic Rob at all the decline concert hole sensation the amazing Royal Albert Hall is made from all natural ingredients including whoa heartbreak and tears as it was built by a grieving Queen Victoria in memory of her dead husband left that's him he's dead there there your majesty and that's not all as well as being a national memorial the Royal Albert Hall was perfectly designed for all your concert Festival and concert needs right boy unfortunately the giant dome ceiling gave the whole place a terrible echo echo what he said so they had to fit a load of giant mushroom shaped thingies to the ceiling to absorb the sound no really look and what's what the Victorians would squeeze a whopping nine thousand people in here though any more than six thousand is massively unsafe haha so when Victorian Robert Newman established his promenade concerts in 1895 where else would he hold them but just down the road at the Queen's Hall you go straight up Regent Street and it's on your right but the Queen's Hall was destroyed by a bomb in World War two so now the problems are held here at the fantastic Royal Albert Hall so come to the Royal Albert Hall your first choice for orchestral entertainment all your second choice at the other place gets pumped ha ha come on get out of the way this is the Royal toilet and I am The King I'm King too and I'm a COO I'm a cupcake course you are me Henry the eighth's in there with his personal bottom wiper calls him his groom of the stool popular job in his day apparently not I sort of party but each to their own oh but I'm busting out of your breeches you should eat less look does anyone mind if I go to the front please you wait your turn young man story of my life Oh get on with it they're starting again hey it's only my favorite conductor jean-baptiste lully GUI I love you do I really do thank you I think I love the conducting you do with a big stick to all this stuff baby baby I love it love it so much classier than that other fella with this little twig rubbish gee mind whoa sorry maestro if looks could kill I'm already dead mate I'm already dead keep up keep up so which of my musical pieces do you like the most the one you just heard perhaps much will a ceremony talk or maybe you prefer my air the demon oh no no no no no listen I'm not a big fan of your music mate I mean it's all right and all that but I am a big fan obvious you did death come on organ grinding that with you Jim come on here we go let's give in jingle come on room if you want come on Oh watching you learning if you know the words hee hee 1 2 3 4 stupid dance shipping first coming in monsoon Lily far away what's your story well I was the official composer to none other than the french king louis xiv between 1672 and 1686 I wrote no less than 20 operas so well done top of the class 40 trousers but the stupid death if you don't mind well in 1687 to celebrate louis xiv so recent recovery from a terrible illness i was conducting a tear down a tedium what's that a spectacularly boring piece of music no no it's a 10 damn it's a Latin it means a hymn of praise oh yeah I know I know I was being amusing oh sorry you're French you wouldn't understand I was beating time for the orchestra using my big staff which I bang against the floor you might have noticed me doing it on the way in with E oh yes maestro you see they hadn't invented diddly little batons like yours in Lily's day so they had to conduct using a proper big stick baby Lucy much better watch him you learn something from him turn your so yes I was beating time for the music like so boom boom boom you get the idea when I was a little bit careless and I missed the floor and struck instead my own toe ah not again whoa that sound almost as painful as it is funny yes well Lea the wound became infected creating an abscess whoa I like where this is going and the abscess then developed gangrene and then I died you came to a sticky end TLE because of it begin to listen she gets it hey maestro don't let it near one of your little battens he'll probably have his eye out oh come on then lowly let's get you backstage I want to take a look at this gangrenous toe please stupid death give me death that money can the tree you didn't keep it this time hello Todd cotton tag i'm wolfgang amadeus mozart the greatest composers that has ever lived i played to your king george the third of england when i was just eight years old can you imagine how cute hello excuse me I'm talking please now where was I I'm vodka Amadeus Mozart the greatest composers that has ever lived at the age of eleven I compose or / Bastian at Bastian yes what do you want excuse me what time does the concert start the concerts already started we're over halfway through what I said it's already started but they're over halfway through why are you saying right you stay there excuse me may I borrow this thank you so much it's already started now where was I I'm full kang Amadeus Mozart the greatest composer that has ever lived it has already started okay you need to relax you need to chill off buddy huh whoa my name is Ludwig van Beethoven I am the greatest composer that ever lived well this is awkward I'm Mozart I was greater than you I don't think so Wolfie my third symphony of evolutionized music my ninth symphony was the first to involve singers and orchestra and you might recognize my most famous piece of music my fifth symphony it goes something like this but for haha you recognize that now you stick that in your schnitzel oh yeah well I composed over 600 pieces of music operas duets trios quartets quintets concertos and symphonies and all before I was 36 so you beats at girlfriends I composed half my music then I was deaf shall we call it a draw okey-dokey come on let's find you a hairbrush I will so the greatest life Naseem nothing it was me that's me it's true brilliant Beethoven got death as he got older in fact after the first performance of his Ninth Symphony Beethoven didn't know the audience was applauding until someone turned him ran to face them I thought I was going deaf once down in the sewer it turned out I just had poo in my ears marvellous Mozart was pretty brilliant too and this piece is one of his most famous it's the overture to the Opera Marriage of Figaro and I've had just about enough of this I've waited for all the other Kings to sing I've waited for the toilet and I don't care whether it's my turn or not I am going up oh no you're up next I don't care what you say you can't hold me back any longer I'm going on now what I said isn't it if they say I'm mad it's time for my solo I'm George the fourth the Regent King which means I was just standing in acting King because my dad George the third had gone barking mad another great palaces I did design Buckingham was one of mine art and fashion I so rated and wives that's more complicated actresses and duchesses the great loves of my life enough more girls and IA minds but I couldn't stand by why he couldn't stand is why I only marry Queen Caroline when my dates began to climb because if I agreed to tie the knot I said I'd pay off the Lord tonight for the wedding caused all sorts of strife is I already and why a divorce Catholic dad did Simon the mad old goat just would and I do here oh [ __ ] you soon laughing yourself you King my reign began though I was now older than your man and as the rule of our nation are bad my wife from my coronation and knowing now that I did hater she promptly died two streets later but all those lies I got through med ten years later I died - hello have we met I'm a kangaroo the great love I love girls and I ate pies but I and my wife I had just ten years on the throne do you remember that all that you remember is I was really fair he was really fat soybeans no wonder George the fourth so miserable born too late for me to write a play let's see what's next Oh another one of mine Mendelssohn's wedding march wrote at his music for my player Midsummer Night's Dream yeah basically mine sort of his but mainly mine yeah they've used it for weddings ever since I mean who doesn't like to hear the wedding march huh first time Shh this is mike peabody hhtv news with a breaking story queen victoria has locked herself inside the royal toilet and is refusing to come out to sing her song it's devastating news it could spell disaster for the whole Horrible Histories prom no no it's fine my man they've just asked another queen to do it cheers well you heard it here first everything's fine there is no story another Mike Peabody exclusive come in after go gaga Camille I am a leader and Lady Antony and Cleopatra such a queen a bobbin see I am a pharaoh yelled arrow meant to be guys but I don't Carol I just wear o be your disguise my mom and dad with arrows I thought my rules Julie but don't my older sisters thought that they should go too okay they both died I wonder who that will leave little kneel down okay oh okay no time to breathe the caps alarming you'd be right but it gets worse married my heart brother as we rule the universe that bad romance that you would open cloud his throne but then he died known Wow - and top my list advises faith in ashes milk and spices then I dressed like goddess Isis look like hair in ringlets slices by twos to four men entices finest linen surprises added another provocation ok Giza but never told of my love with Julius Rita had sees his child and hoped that he'd be crowned king my bro said no I said no and I mad at him because I am real Patrick agents royalty the ruling Pharaoh don't you dare mess with me but who can be smiles only when I see a man takes my I'm Anthony laughs no gyptian crowd finally I spent my nature my life was a one cookie mama love today I'd be a favorite of the Pampa right now no pictures no [ __ ] good song not as good as my play about Cleopatra and in the entry a Patra but good song catchy oh that's the last of my bits I imagine if one will be going home now oh look my what command of language you have you should write oh I see you're not erupt next I see what they've done there yes because Stone Age man was around at the same time as the ancient Egyptians they were a bit more advanced than you they weren't they I mean they were building vast pyramids and palaces when he were working on stone edge what are you anyway nearly they call Paleolithic I was good talk too much I'm sure you've heard the Stone Age occurred for two and a half million years but there's more of still need to engage them maybe it first appears hit dinosaurs Neanderthals let's make this clearer didn't live together came from their friend eras that's not all I can tell you so much more than we know about the Murney phases are the ages of stone shooby dooby doo what it's all the rage just kidding leave up to our bros upon a stone age of yeah all right it's fun to define an era Paleolithic but you're gonna have to be a little more specific give me lower when H beans first used some middle Paleolithic when the end it's all wrong that's when all mistake the end starts to emerge but just in Africa long before the global search until Upper Paleolithic point thousand years ago did they and it's all and all the same you say hello they're tall and homo safety or livin it okay fine harmony language was invented Kate hey the Paleolithic ended which meant to start phase two badoo badoo I turn a new page still leave up to our mug of honest Oh angel yeah alright this is where it starts to get all scientific Paleolithic father why do you repeat so they think they at the end the towels are wiped out by the I'll say you do Rubik after which the Neolithic Age was terrific man there's a farm bill also they could say that some other folks turned up and they discovered metal peak remember Europe around bronze and outflow one simple and traditional ways to snow Bronze Age was invented by now malice fires his hard-on in tears came the age of iron Celts through it religion intro by now with this de memory those ages a stone shooby dooby doo out since that metallic stays still leave a few are there was almost so late she will be do be do what now you know what is known about the many phases are the ages of stone I interrupt this prom to bring you breaking news that Vikings have invaded the Royal Albert Hall whoa did someone say an invasion ruin love a good inversion no no no no no this is not good the Vikings are invading if it then ain't they neither here oh don't worry for your own safety ladies and gentlemen please keep your heads down to avoid any flying axes oh don't be such a spoilsport hey maestro blow them something they can invade by how about Vogler's the ride of the votaries I love Vikings and I do we've got a lighting furry face eat anything always wash once a week will be while watching the sewer but I'm not such a big fan of their axes and swords oh here they come gangway to enjoy the rest of the prom let's do this thing was the song 793 year when we sailed across the Great North Sea comets crossed the skies that night must have known something wasn't right he arrived pause it was shore and you offered friendship but we wanted more yes much more we're tearing up this place to die we're gonna sell this sleepy town burneth drink cuz are spiking don't care what you here to read your monastry we're primed and ready to attack and we love how monks just don't [ __ ] man to die on the car the same to me slaved on the get you can see the bottom your hand my friend shop the toes well bye kids that's how way that acts Ragnar Oh Oh get back go Oh we go everyone that is all we've got time for thank you so much for listening it's been really really horrible for but in a good way and now it's time to say goodbye in true horrible history style Oh Oh Oh you

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Views: 821,833

Rating: 4.9488168 out of 5

Keywords: horrible, histories, prom

Id: mWn9jJ9ptvY

Length: 61min 5sec (3665 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 10 2011