Horrible Histories - Groovy Greeks | Compilation

[Music] great we Greeks were famous for stories about our gods and heroes which are known as myths some of them were really gruesome and horrible - like this one the story of Chronos the boss of all the Greek gods good morning and have we a special show lined up for you I'll be talking to some Greek gods - let's start with the wife of the chief Greek god mrs. Cronus so mrs. Cronus I understand that your husband had a rather nasty habit yeah that's right what did he do did he put his sandals up on the furniture he ate all our babies well let's bring him out Cronus [Music] so mr. Cronus you ate all your babies yes I did how many exactly six why did you do it cuz there was this prophecy that one of my children was going to take on my throne so you ate them all but it's safe than sorry I'm still top gods do all top gods have to worry about their children taking their jobs who are you getting at well didn't you only get your father's job by cutting off his dangly bits with a sickle so mrs. Cronus I believe you have a little something to tell your husband you know you think you ate all six of our children yeah were you only eight five what the last one was just a little rock I wrapped up in a blanket you never yes Cronus you thought you had eaten him but he is here tonight please welcome your son Zeus [Applause] [Applause] your father ate all your brothers and sisters he thought he had eaten you is there anything you like to say to him yeah there is dad you know how my mum brought me up yeah yeah well now you're gonna bring up my brothers and sisters we're talking about i poisoned your drink you're gonna SiC him up what and he has Cronus has just thrown up he's now fully grown children that I must remind you that all our guests on this program are Greek gods so please don't try this at home the most unusual family reunion join us after the break when we'll be using a DNA test to find out if Greek hero Oedipus really did marry his mother see you then [Applause] we Greeks were great at making up stories so good in fact that sometimes it's difficult to tell if they really happened or not like this one the story of Helen of Troy ancient Sparta and the King has news of his daughter Helen of Troy daughter it is time to choose a husband from all the kings and princes of Greece Menelaus of Sparta is chosen sweeteners are not mate yes Helen and Menelaus were married the next week Helen you is well fit your face could launch a thousand ships yet I think I've married an idiot but then another suitor turned up sorry I'm late yeah a Paris Prince of Troy I'm here for the husband choosing me he was too late yeah this ship has already sailed in its man captain Menelaus Wow that Paris he is well furred menelaus won't mind if I run away to Troy with Paris he'll forget about me in late new time but Menelaus didn't forget about Helen listen up yet I want all of Greek soldiers to march on Troy you get me we're gonna tear that city up kill them all is it yes meanwhile in Troy sorry started a war Menelaus has bought a huge army to take you back to Greece yeah he's surrounded Troy we are going to war the war lasts for 10 long years I've got well bad news Paris is dead which one is he again my brother the prince that bloke you ran off with you know the reason for this whole 10-year war ball helen has to do to end the war and save hundreds of thousands of lives is go back to our husband Menelaus what will she do as welfare do you fancy getting married yeah if you like my name's there Fobus by the way whatever friends call me 4b [Music] it was to be a short marriage alright Menelaus what is up boo eyes destroy Troy Harris is dead death death that one is dead as well and it's all cuz the UK always you've got to say for yourself ah you already fit when you're angry defence getting back together again yeah what am I like welcome back to hhtv sport today bringing you exclusive live sporting events from the time of the Greek legends we're at the Trojan Wars for the big fight Paris Prince of Troy versus the Greek leader Menelaus so let's join our on-the-spot commentary team you join me outside the walls of Troy I'm here with the Challenger you seem pretty relaxed Menelaus are you confident about today it's gonna rain through pre minute how can you be so confident coz I ain't doing the fight in attacked my man Achilles there he's in more the only thing that could be an upset at all you ain't listening to me you flannel my man Achilles was made immortal when his mum dumped him in the river of the Dead he cannot be killed we cannot read her bus I'm not completely immortal mum was holding me by the heel when she dunked me so that bits not quite as immortal as the rest of me I just told the man from the telly about your weak spot nice one so there you have it enormous confidence from the Greek camp let's go over and see how things are looking in the opposition camp behind the walls of Troy Gary cheers John so parish looking forward to the big fight the women I scared yeah he's the more you understand me you do it man I thought you do it good say so looks like his warrior brother hectares gonna have to stand in for him excitement so it's Hector the boy from Troy versus the God's favorite the immortal Achilles the Greek hero who would you think is gonna win this one Gary Achilles he's immortal fair enough and the big fight is on for what says Hector's running away with Achilles in pursuit that's once around the city twice three times around the city Gary well great attack from Hector there but kind of pointless because it kill adjacent and stop me if you've heard this before immortal Oh and clearly Hector isn't there yes game over and Menelaus clearly thrilled with the result that all but what what's this parish is up on the ramparts with a bow and arrow and that's a fantastic shot from Paris and who'd have thought that Achilles Achilles heel would be his Achilles heel kind of obvious when you think about it back to the studio we get the expression your Achilles heel from the story of Troy it means however strong you are you've always got a weak spot even elephants have an Achilles heel as the Greeks found out dodgy war machines number 14 in ancient times King Paris of Greece went to battle with the Romans and brought with him a secret weapon elephants Greek war elephants were brilliant because once they started charging they didn't stop and trampled anything in their way particularly the enemy troops it was brilliant but unfortunately there was one small problem elephants are scared of fire and pits so the Romans set fire to some pigs and said then charging at the charging elephants [Music] [Applause] making King Paras really wish he'd left his secret weapon at home ancient Greece was divided into a number of different states there was my home the warrior state Sparta and where lots of other rubbish ones go Sparta and you must be Linda and Nigel we're our classes parents our culeros I see what's wrong well I've been meaning to speak to you about your son's behavior for some time is he in trouble well I have a list here of what he's been up to in the last week alone screaming shouting fighting with other pupils attacking the teachers bringing weapons into school cheating lying stealing bullying the list goes on and on mr. and mrs. our class your son yes is the perfect Spartan child he is going to make a fantastic Spartan warrior you must be very proud he's very proud all right it is a Spartan school so don't cry true or false to prove who was the toughest Spartan boys would be whipped to the altar of the god Artemis it's true whoever could take the most lashes was the toughest although sometimes they were whipped so hard and so often that they die a straight welcome to Horrible Histories

Channel: Horrible Histories

Views: 369,301

Rating: 4.9020491 out of 5

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Id: XdNHG7QtBsg

Length: 11min 58sec (718 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 29 2019