THAT’S NOT LOVE Part 2 by RC BLAKES

good-evening good-evening good-evening hope everybody's doing well I am RC Blake's this is your first time here on my channel I am a pastor I'm an author I'm a man I'm a husband I'm a father I am a student of life and I like to discuss things that are relative to to God in life if if this is your first time here I'd love for you to subscribe to my channel be a part of our community yeah and if I say something that resonates with you I'd love for you to give me a thumbs up all right I want to go back into this there's a there's a there's a video I did a message I did some days ago entitled that's not love and it resonated with a lot of people and and I thought that I would just kind of continue that conversation tonight because there are so many people who have a false concept of love and I believe personally that we develop these false cons we develop these false concepts of love I believe and I know as I always say I'm no psychologist no therapist I'm a student of life I'm a man I'm a preacher I'm a pastor I believe that we develop these false concepts of love when the paternal influence is lacking in our lives in other words when our fathers failed to do their job and when there's not been a sufficient substitute in place or when our mothers failed to reinforce certain things even in the absence of fathers because when a father's not present Thank You Man thiis I think it is when a father's not present there there's a certain idea that that girls develop about love and what it is and there are certain things emotionally that the father is is designed to provide for the girls so that her psychological approach to the world and to relationships is established at least on a healthy foundation when a father's not present the girl enters into the world searching for affirmation and searching for acceptance and she's looking for that in the faces of people who look like her father men when the father's not present in the life of the boy the boy then takes his signal relative to what love is from the world and the world says to the boy that love is the perversion or the perverting of young women and so the lack of the lack of in my opinion just my opinion just my thoughts the lack of paternal influence healthy paternal influence I believe contributes at least greatly to the distortion in terms of how we view love and what love is supposed to look like and so as as as a result we have we have people who have twisted ideas of what love is and these twisted ideas these false concepts of love are only served to position the individual for social imprisonment because society takes the broken consciousness of this person and society manipulates that person and society ultimately makes what I call a social slave of them so here in in number two that's not love what does love look like the Bible says in first Corinthians 13:4 through seven first Corinthians 13:4 through seven it says love never gives up love cares more for others than for self love doesn't want what it doesn't have love doesn't strut doesn't have a swelled head doesn't force itself on others isn't always me first doesn't fly off the handle doesn't keep score of the sins of others doesn't rebel when others grovel takes pleasure in the flowering of truth puts up with anything trust God always always looks for the best never looks back but keeps going to the end wonderful wonderful descriptions of what real love looks like and when I read this and when you read this the thing that should come to mind because here's here's what we're struggling with we're struggling with taking lust we're struggling with taking the realities of lust and substituting lust for love and most of us when we think about love we're really thinking about or we're really under the influence should I say of lust but here's the thing when I read this when it when I read this text first Corinthians 13:4 through 7 and it it gives this detailed listing of the characteristics of what real love looks like and how real love behaves here's the thought that came to my mind love versus lust versus lust lust is an impulse lust is an impulse love is an experience love is not an impulse it's not something see lust it's it's it's it's really the the sexual lust of individuals is no different than the heat of animals it's it's a biological reaction it's an instinct but love is an experience in other words you have to experience a person to really know if it's love or not it's not something based on a smell a look you know an attraction love is based on an experience that only happens to the extent you get to know a person and the person gets to know you think about how many think about how many so-called love affairs that we have present on this live tonight that were founded on lust just an impulse just just a base animalistic impulse of sexuality and you acted on the sexuality and the sexuality Thank You NIDA and the sexuality brought you into a place where your soul your mind your will and your emotions were invested in something that has tied your life up in a place of bondage because lust is an impulse while love is an experience it means what it takes time to know love lust happens like that you guys go to the club get you get you a drink or two and and look at somebody and y'all rubbing up against one another you know y'all do it you do you do your thing and lust have you in the middle of the bed and and and by this time next week you'll be in the grips of a full-blown soul tie your mind is caught up you don't know how to break free your body is addicted to you know whatever and you'll be calling it love when it was nothing but lust because love takes time lust is always in a rush love is always patient because true love takes time look what the Bible says in James 1:14 and 15 he says but every man is tempted when he has drawn away of his own lust and enticed then when lust hath conceived it brings forth sin and sin when it is finished brings forth death lust always ends in death and that is I believe primarily the death of the soul you lose yourself you lose your consciousness when you are captivated by things that are given to lust and you you fail to understand the difference real talk with Kizzy Thank You Kizzy you fail to understand the difference between lust and love nobody's ever sat you down nobody's ever taught you you are carried away with what the world says is love and the world always promotes what is love sex which brings me to point number one for tonight it's not love it's sexual affirmation number one sexual affirmation you're finding in other words this is when a person develops a perverted sense of affirmation that is connected to sexual for months this is what what men and women both get caught up in this sexual affirmation and they call it love it's where the woman finds her sense of value in her sexuality because the world promotes that around her the world makes her feel like she has to perform sexually to be affirmed to be appreciated to be loved the world takes the the the the man with the little boy's mind and the world makes him feel like his manhood is tied up in his sexuality it's sexual affirmation it's not love you're trying desperately to affirm yourself through sex and it never works let me read this this impact point the person connects a person's sexual interest to ideas of love in other words a person that has nothing but a sexual interest in you nothing but a sexual interest in you because your mind because your soul has not been developed in this sense you conclude that sexual interest is love when the reality is a person can have sex with you and not even like you people can actually have sex with you and not even be attracted to you and I know that's a tough pill to swallow because you feel like you know because this is the only place you've ever found what you thought was affirmation you feel like if if if a guy thinking Nia you feel like if a guy is attracted to you sexually that means he loves you because all the R&B songs talk about it and the reality is that they're guys that can have sex with you that don't even like you they don't like your company they're not really even attracted to you they're just fulfilling a bodily function and they're fulfilling their fulfilling the ambitions of grown boys mind and you conclude it's love oh he wants to have sex with me so it must be love I know he loved me because he keep coming back to me come on man you and how many others it's not love it's just sexual affirmation you're trying to fill your self-esteem bank with sexual activity because every time you have sex these people tell you for a minute at least how awesome you are but have you ever noticed not long after the act is done they out have you ever thought about that if you ever stop pause to really think that through that none of these people ever really commit to you it's because it was never love have you ever thought about all the times you you you you give this this person sex and the few times you you're in need you're in distress they're never there for you because it was it was never love in Genesis 29 31 to 35 interesting passage that I deal with a lot and very interesting passage you find you find Jacob with you know his wife Leah and he has another wife by the name of Rachel he loves Rachel but the Bible says he hates Nia he hates her when you read the whole story you see where Leah and Rachel's father tricked him into Thank You Theresa thank you you'll see where Leah and Rachel's father trick Jacob into marrying Leah he really wanted Rachel he did want Leah but the father tricked him into marrying Leah and then forced him to work to eventually be able to marry true but he hated Leah but listen let me read it for you Genesis 29 31 through 35 says and when the Lord saw that leah was hated he opened her womb the worst allowed her to conceive but Rachel was barren she couldn't conceive and Leah conceived and bare son and she called his name Reuben for she said surely the Lord hath looked upon my affliction now therefore my husband will love me I've had sex I've produced a child so now he will love me and she conceived the gain and bear son and said because the LORD hath heard that I was aided he had therefore given me this son also and she called his name Simeon and she conceived the gain in bear son and said now this time will my husband be joined unto me because I have borne him three sons therefore was his name called Levi and she conceived again and bare son and she said now will I praise the Lord therefore she called his name Judah and left bearing now here's the interesting thing it's clear the Bible says that he hated Leah but you notice she kept having children and when you read the full context it's almost implied that he did not view Leah as attractive and he hated her he was tricked into marrying her but she kept having babies which is an indication of what a man can hate you a man cannot want you a man cannot even be attracted to you and still have sex with you and still make babies with you number two I don't know if this one is going over so well tonight number two it's not love in the consistent commitment inconsistent commitment this is when you are engaged in a in a situation ship and the person is not consistent in anything their commitment to you is up and down like the weather and you are trying to make it love so much so that you're making excuses for what is blatant disrespect what is blatant disregard their commitment to you is inconsistent while you have made them your priority you are clearly for them an option and you're running around trying to call it love largely because you you've invested so much time into this and then what happens is because you don't build from a foundation of love which is a foundation of what a foundation of knowledge and understanding you know a foundation of experience you know really experiencing the individual you broadcast these bogus relationships as though they're valid and you put all of this stuff all over social media my boo and all of this kind of stuff you don't even know this person you haven't taken time know this person you jumped in the bed with this person in Tyler too fast you know entirely too fast I mean even if I were liberal you know and I'm at this stage in my life I'm very conservative and but you just jumped into bed and Tyler too fast and then you got all of this stuff blasted all over the my boo my BAE and all of this kind of thing and then you you you haven't you don't know this person and then you discover that this person is really not committed to you and now you embarrassed you shame because you're operating from a shallow consciousness of broken consciousness at that and your whole sense of value and worth is tied to the semblance of a relationship and so even though you know this person's commitment to you is inconsistent at best you just make it work you're gonna keep up impressions for the world and you make statements like you make statements like rather have a piece of man and no man at all really do you actually think you have a piece of a man somebody does not commit it to you let me tell you something when somebody's really when when a man let me speak from this perspective when a man is really in love with you you not gonna have to question his commitment any y'all out here got a man that you you you don't know bout I don't know if he committed he ain't he not cuz when a man really loves a woman he is committed to that woman and that commitment watch this is consistent from day one that commitment is consistent he's not going to even impress you that he's you know their commitment is consistent when a man really loves a woman when a woman really loves a man that commitment is consistent because love if there's nothing else love is consistent look how first Corinthians 13 and 4 reads in the King James Version it says charity that's the word that's a synonym for love suffers long and is kind charity envieth not charity vaunteth not itself is not puffed up but notice it says it suffers long it endures it's consistent watch this it goes through the hard times as well as the good times anybody that's always checking out on you when times get rough and they let you go through your rough times by yourself and then after you've come through it they check back in with a whole lot of excuses and because you have a broken consciousness you keep letting them back in it's not lovey you're fooling yourself my only reason for doing this this type of live is because too many y'all wasting your time and you trying to have all these counseling sessions and everything and you're trying to get all of this about stuff that's just it's just you know it ain't love you wasting your time you don't we don't need to go through you know two three hours of talking about this this clearly is not love you have somebody that all it is about is sex you have somebody that's inconsistent in their commitment they don't love you they don't love you anybody that loves you is going to be consistent look what the Bible says in Proverbs 25 and 19 confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth and the foot out of joint very painful it's a very painful experience in other words to be committed and dependent on somebody that's not really committed to you so waste the time a lot of the stuff we don't need to have all of these long consonant sessions about honestly we don't need all these long emails about it all you got to do is just just just sit back and step into your good mind for a second and look at the situation for what it really is and when you look at it and you see it for what it really is you'll be able to pull away from this and say there ain't no love that's not love and I know I know you you have all of these emotional withdrawals and physical withdrawals from the sex and all of that kind of thing but babe I said I said all the time you got to choose your pain you'll I have to hurt a little while today getting this person out of your system or you gonna hurt a lifetime when you wake up and you realize that you've given your life to somebody that gave you nothing my love it's not love but it hurts my man I don't kill him but I'd rather hurt your feelings and save your life that's not alone that's not love number three love okay when there's a lack of generosity that's not love you got a woman that is a tako you got a woman as just a take up just take take take take take and won't everything she can get and she never sacrifices for you she never considers you mm-hmm she pimping you because love is generous you got a man that that you got a man that won't won't give to you and I mean I know I know that this is a new generation and I'm a little older than somebody you know a lot of y'all in fact but I still can't understand how you know how y'all out here with dudes and you thinking about calling this dude's your husband and y'all going 50/50 on a lunch bill or dinner bill I still don't get that and then some of y'all insist on it that's how that's how that's how broken your consciousness is as a woman you insist that a man that you help a man pay the bill but I mean I you know he to each his own to each his own but I'm just here to tell you a real man is not gonna let his woman not a real man I don't care if she even making more money than me a real man is gonna pay his woman's wait no that's that's from a school I come from I know y'all got a new school I know y'all doing a new thing y'all y'all want one boys with the pants hanging out all the drawers out and you know what they'd only need to have a job don't you need to have a job I know understand but I'm just saying that ain't love because when a man falls in love a man becomes generous with the woman that he loves when a woman falls in love thank you Christina a woman bends over backwards to give and to take care of her man anytime you have selfishness in the mix it ain't no love if there's a lack of generosity the anal love down and the Bible puts it this way in Matthew 6 and 21 for where your treasure is there will your heart be also where your money is where your investments are that's what your heart is if your heart is somewhere your money gonna follow because love is generous and some of y'all in situations where you know you got people that this and you you fussing whether or not that's the thing that trips me out how are you fussing with a grown man about him being stingy and you still down I understand that you fussing with a grown man about you stingy you don't ever give me nothing you don't ever you don't ever do nothing for me and you still giving him giving him giving him husband benefits and you ain't got a promise ring cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap but it ain't love and in number 4 and i'ma go I didn't tell I've gotten on some people's nerves at night number 4 love doesn't lie anybody lying to you all the time tell love you they're manipulating you love does not lie anybody that is constantly lying to you and you catching them in lies all the time they do not love you they are manipulating you they are manipulating you they are taking your brain and they are they are reaching into your soul and taking your brain and maneuvering you like a driver would a steering wheel they're driving you in the direction they want you to go in and every time they tell you a lie and you buy it your soul is broken even the more people that love you don't lie to you like that because when somebody really loves you they strive what is what is the what is the fundamental agenda of love trust when I love you building the bridge of trust between you and I becomes extremely important and so I do nothing that intentionally breaks the trust so therefore I'm not doing much at all I'm not doing much at all if anything that I'm gonna have to lie about but somebody's always lying you always catching them in a lie can you keep on and you do it again you do it again that's a joke that's a joke that's not love that's not love and and it's about time for you to hear what I'm saying to you and I've been trying to be nice and flowery and you know trying to be politically correct with my language and my tone but they at some point you gotta wake you'll have yourself up and look at this situation for what it is somebody in line that you everyday don't love you they are using you they are using you if there's no way in the world I'm gonna be catching Lisa in lives every day and we're gonna step in this house together I'm not living with no liar cuz if you lied to me all the time you don't love me love doesn't lie like that love the line like that you know not sometimes you know when you you know you love and you have all that respect you know you buy stuff and stuff you mean lie but not the cost of it is something like that but you know I'm saying but all of this stuff you know you busting people with the phone and and you and you you keep dealing with that you keep dealing with that that's that's not healthy and say you don't need no counselor you don't need no you don't need no therapist to tell you you got to get out of this some things you just got to do cold turkey you got you got to just you got to get out of this because this is a whole entire mess you got going on here this is a situation ship that you have called a relationship it's not a relationship Bay because the relationship goes both ways like some of y'all have taken this stuff as far as going to the altar signing these papers and calling it a marriage you you got to I think you've got to go back and define what marriage really is it may be wedlock you may be legally bound you may even be bound in the eyes of God because there's a it's a volume aid but are you really married to somebody that's lying all the time is that really a marriage oh you you definitely wedlock but is it a marriage you mean tell me I okay every day Lisa busted me and another lie and i'ma tell her I love you baby i love you I love you I love you you know I love you baby me I wouldn't do nothing like that and it's in black and white it's manipulation and control that's what you call emotional abuse anybody that lies to you all the time is abusing you emotionally and they are eroding your self view there they are eroding your self-respect you are losing your identity trying to hold on to somebody else anybody that lies to you all the time one of my favorite texts what did the Bible say a Hope deferred makes the heart sick in other words if I if I keep hoping that you gonna be look the kind of person I need you to be and you keep letting me down it sickens my soul it sickens my soul anybody lying to you constantly does not love you they are manipulating you and these people that have you all a lot of character doing things you never dream you would do losing yourself and these people are just lying lying lying lying and they lie so well you can have video evidence you could have seen them in the very act they can make you believe it with somebody else that's when they have a control over your soul now it's time to wake up it's time to wake up some of y'all need to send this to your girlfriends and some of you brothers need to send this to your homies because it goes both ways you got women out here using Menma taking good men and breaking good men because they're abusing these brothers and I mean it's happening more regularly than y'all realize but anybody lying all the time don't love you man and the Bible says in first Corinthians 13 and 6 love rejoices not in iniquity love rejoices in the truth I rejoice in the fact that I live my life with my wife in a way that I don't have nothing to hide and see I'm a person I talk in my sleep it's a blessing to be able to talk in your sleep and go to sleep at night next to your wife and not be worried about what you gonna say I go to bed my phone is laying on the bed between she and I ain't no cold on it ain't got nothing to hide love rejoices in the truth I rejoice in the fact watch this that I'm living my life in a way that the woman I love that I've I have and I am yet earning her trust that's why I love Rajasa than the truth because the aim of love is to build trust to be what you anticipate me to be that's the aim of love when a person really loves you their aim their objective is to prove to you that I am everything you dreamed me to be and so I'm done that's it I'm done I'm done and I my prayer for you and may I pray for you before I let you out tonight father I thank you because I know that there's so many that are tied up in this struggling father to break free so ties God I thank you now in the name of Jesus Christ that by your Holy Spirit you will break the shackles off of their minds in the name of Jesus banks and you will cause their souls to go free God let them see and let them understand and God give them the inner fortitude to take action and to do what is best for them make them understand God that this is not love and Jesus's name Amen I love you all I thank God for you I really do don't forget to stop by Amazon pick up any of my books father-daughter talk clean ology soul ties wisdom for women in ministry imperfectly holy so forth and so on and know that I'm praying for you all over the country all over the world as we deal with this worldwide pandemic in it amazing how fast things change know that I'm praying for you know that Lisa and I are praying for you if you've not signed up for my email list I need you to go to RC Blake's comm and I need you to sign up for my email list I'll be sending out just some inspirational messages that I think will lift your spirit during these times and it looks like we're going to be possibly locked in for a while it seems as though that may that might be the case every Sunday morning the new home Family Worship Center has a YouTube channel search new home Family Worship Center and you'll see the little blue and white logo there and subscribe every Sunday morning at 8 a.m. we will be coming live our services are probably going to have to be on technologic on a technological level for a while we'd love to have you to be a part of our worship experience so go there new home Family Worship Center and subscribe those of you that may need counseling maybe there's some things that some issues we brought up tonight and maybe you need someone that you can talk to there will be a description there will be a link in the description that you can connect with those persons that better help this is a counseling agency that offers online counseling primarily over the phone where you can talk to someone at any time so hit the link and check it out if you have that kind of needs you know I'm not a counselor so I take that very seriously those of you that may have need of that or desire that you can just hit the link and you can check that out well I love you I love you I love you I thank God for you and y'all pray for me and share this on your other platforms if you don't mind you can reach out to Lisa and I at pastor RC Blake's at gmail.com and just know that we're constantly praying for you and have a great evening have a great evening I'll talk to you real soon probably a lot of them will be locked up in this house like this god bless you

Channel: RC Blakes, Jr

Views: 75,589

Rating: 4.9481115 out of 5

Keywords: Dating Advice, Relationships, Christian, Narcissist, RC BLAKES

Id: Fp1MF_w5xdE

Length: 40min 40sec (2440 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 16 2020