3 KEYS TO HEAL THE HEART FROM PAIN AND TRAUMA by RC BLAKES

good evening good afternoon whatever time it might be wherever you are I hope you're doing well today and I just have something I want to share with you in a few minutes des is my Lisa and Lisa and I are sound were 24th I always want to add a year to it for some reason but this is our 24th year of marriage and today we are celebrating so I'm not going to be on here long but I wanted to at least come on and share what's on my heart relative to just a healing process so many people you know the healing process healing from trauma healing from pain healing from abuse that's really where the world is now you know that's that's really where the world is the world is searching for some kind of bomb some kind of healing aid for the Soul and I think this is where since I'm coming from I guess you would say the religious sector which I consider myself spiritual not necessarily religious but since I would be categorized as one coming from the religious sector I think this is where we have missed it in terms of really communicating with this generation we're not really communicating the Bible as a document for emotional healing we communicate it as a document for spiritual healing to some extent to some extent and we even communicate it as a document for physical healing but rarely do we deal with the Bible as a document for the healing of the soul you know the ease of oppression you know that the antidote for trauma you know the bible is all of that and and what I'm discovering a little little later in ministry this she this this week as well I'm celebrating 38 years in ministry and it took me probably 34 of those years to wake up to the reality of the Bible as a as a document for the healing of the mind I have some people working in my houses and here they're making noise hopefully they don't come back here but I want to look at something today in John chapter number four I won't read all of these verses its verses 6 through 30 and what you have here is one of my favorite biblical text it's where Jesus meets this woman at the well Jesus intentionally pulls away from his his disciples and he goes through Samaria and he's by himself which is a rare occasion and he's waiting there and it's about the sixth hour the Bible says and there comes this this long little woman with water pots to fill them and when she gets there Jesus begins to have this conversation with her and it's it's one of the few occasions where we find Jesus by himself just he and another person very rare occasion that no disciples no crowds around it's just Jesus and this lady so when I read it and I read the full context of it it sets up for me as a perfect biblical depiction of a therapeutic session as as Jesus really taking the time to deal with this woman personally to make some adjustments to her soul because when she gets there and you read the context and you read the conversation you discover that she she has some issues she has some problems and one of the problems that global the main problem that she has is is relational she's had five different husbands and Jesus says to her the one you have now he's prophetically speaking to he says the one you have now is not yours but another preacher I forget who it was brought some real deep context relative to that statement where Jesus says to this woman in that day says you had you've had five husbands which means that she had been divorced five times now mind you in that day and in that culture it was it was not allowed a woman could not divorce a man so it means that at least five times she had been rejected by men that were supposed to protect and cover and build her and so she's coming from a context of brokenness and pain and rejection and Jesus has this conversation with her and it was a healing conversation and something interesting happens when he gets through talking with this woman but let me give you the three things because I hear them moving about in the house and I don't want them to disrupt what I'm doing so I want to hurry the first thing I would say to you in the process of healing and and in looking at you know looking at what we would I just kind of expounded on from John chapter four verses six through thirty where Jesus meets the woman at the well the first thing I would say to you in the process of healing and I noticed to be true from my own personal life you must have a healing relationship you have to develop a relationship that is healthy that is safe and when I say a relationship I'm not talking romantically I'm talking about you have to have somebody in your life in your corner that becomes the conduit the therapeutic conduit through which your healing can begin to activate in fact about it I was talking with one of one of my psychologist friends and they were saying that the greatest component of healing is relational it's when a person has made a contact or connection with someone that loves them someone that is safe someone that guides them to a greater place of esteem and security so you got to you have to develop a healing relationship not a challenge with this when you've been hurt when you've been traumatized when you've been disappointed when you've been broken when you've been abandoned all of these things the challenge with this is that traumatized people are often reprogrammed psychologically to now resist intimate relationships you know as a pastor there are people that come into the congregation and if you know anything about me I'm a very personable loving individual I you know I'm a hugger I've gotten to the place because I'm understanding humanity a little better where I'll ask you know can I hug you as you know and and 99.9 percent of the time people look cool with that they actually need it but there are some that come into the congregation and I can see they enjoy what's there they they feel did they extract the value from what's there but there's a part of them that is that that still has a wall up and I realize that because of their trauma because of the past it's difficult for them to formulate intimate relationships so it's hard for them to even open up to a pastor it's hard for them to open up to fellow congregants it's hard for them to make friendships because it was people that hurt them in the past and so they're they're resistant to relationship but the reality is that our healing begins where we discover healing relationships and I think that's that's why this platform works so well it's because even though you may be in Europe or you may be in Australia or you may be in Africa you may be on another side of the u.s. for me at this time somehow because it's me looking into whatever device I'm looking into and it's you watching through whatever device you're watching it makes it personal it creates somewhat of a I can't call it foe because it's not fake but it creates some sort of a personal connection thank you thank you thank you it creates some sort of a personal connection that has an impact now we subconsciously when we've been traumatized because I see here the first thing Jesus did with a woman at the well is that he created a context for a relationship he didn't have other people there and when she got there he initiated the conversation and he just started making small talk so he created a climate for relationship now we subconsciously choose to engage people when when we've been traumatized now watch this listen to this statement very carefully it was also important that Jesus went to the woman and that Jesus engaged it's also important that Jesus went to the woman needing healing and that Jesus engaged her because when we've been traumatized we tend to subconsciously choose to engage people that do not make us feel now what do I mean by that we you know to whatever extent we might engage people we're going to engage people that are shallow and people who are not going to bring us to a place where we have to reconnect well let's not say reconnect because it's never disconnected from you where we have to acknowledge the root of pain that's in our hearts you know what I mean so we avoid people that can bring us to healing and we tend to surround ourselves with people that perpetuate our pain people that as a word I'm searching for I can't pull it up right now but if you look in Luke chapter 4 verse 18 Jesus says something powerful here relative to himself in his description of himself he says the Spirit of the Lord is upon me in fact this is a biblical description he's reading the prophecy about him he says the Spirit of the Lord is upon me because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor he has sent me watch this to heal the brokenhearted to preach deliverance to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind to set at liberty them that are bruised interesting how Jesus says I'm anointed to heal the brokenhearted and to liberate those that are bruised and I like that term bruised because the Broom speaks of what an internal injury that many times watch this is not even visible on the external some bruises are so deep that there's no external evidence of the bruise but nevertheless internally one is hurting and Jesus says I'm I'm anointed to heal the brokenhearted and I'm anointed to liberate those that are bruised some of us are listen to this statement very carefully some of us are anointed and I use that term very carefully because so many people claim to be anointed and I don't know if they even know what that means when one is anointed it means that one has a supernatural ability to accomplish God's agenda Thank You Jamie when one is anointed it means that one has received the supernatural ability from God to accomplish God's agenda it's it's your capacity to accomplish something in God's power that you could not accomplish on your own and some of us are anointed to liberate those that are bruised some of us are knotted to heal the brokenhearted and I watch this most of us who are have experienced dimensions and levels of pain that we did not understand in our own lives and I the statement I always make is this God will allow you to feel it if he's designed you to heal it the reason I can talk so freely to people who are broken and hurting is because I've been a broken person I've been a hurting person I've been delivered and set free from all of those things I've been traumatized on certain levels you know what I mean and and and I didn't understand why I was going through it now I'm understanding that all of that stuff I went through was really not about me it was about many of you it's about others because somebody's going to need to have a healing relationship somebody's going to need to have a healing relationship but there can there can be no healing relationship unless there's a healer and the healer is usually I like the way one writer puts it I forget what it was he calls us wounded healers the wounded healers number two in the healing process not only must there be healing relationships but number two one has to learn within the context of that healing relationship that one develops or healing relationships if one is blessed to have more than one one has to learn to relax one's mind soul and body because people who are traumatized have been traumatized live you know it's kind of like they they live okay it would be like okay would be like a car idling you know and and you're wondering why is this car so high-strung why is this car idling so high and then you get you get you get to the car and you discover that the person in the driver's seat his or her leg is is stuck in a mold where they are compressing the accelerator and so people who are traumatized who have been traumatized or full of pain many times are maintaining that same level of energy traumatic energy that they experienced in the season or in the moment of that trauma and it's like unless somebody consciously lifts their foot off of the gas they live at that level you know where everything is just tensed and everything is is is I hope I'm making sense to you it's like the energy of the season the experience the moment that really traumatized in the most it's like they can't that energy and they carry that energy through life and so somebody has to intentionally intentionally step into their world and decompress that accelerator and bring them to a place where they're taught how to relax Jesus meets this woman at the well and he intentionally relaxes her through conversation he relaxes her by being by himself and not being intimidating he relaxes the woman because he knows he's is he as to what minister to the pain and the woman and so he creates a relaxed environment and and there are many of you who are listening to me right now and you've been hurt you've been wounded you've been broken whatever you want to call it and your energy is still there you know your family and your friends don't understand you because you've been traumatized they don't know why you why are you why are you jumping and edgy okay I'll give you a real-life example my parents were in a very very serious accident I guess this mm may have been 15 years or so ago and and every ever since that accident my mother my father's deceased now but my mother's still living and what we're not driving my mother she's jumping there every every car horn that blows or every car that moves you know darts in and out of track she's jumping and she's holding on to the seat because she's still living she's reliving that moment because her her hip was basically shattered she had to have it rebuilt and so she's reliving that trauma she lives with that energy every time we are or she is in a car and emotionally many people like that you just you're always jumping you're you you you don't know how to relax unless by these steps into your world and teaches you this is why now listen to this very carefully this is why I'm discovering now see things come together as we go this is why people are so moved by my prayers even even non-christians tell me you know man I love it when you pray atheists have even because atheists some atheists watch my channel and atheists have even said to me man I don't know some reason I like it when you pray it's because that is prayer is a spiritual means of what relaxing the soul an atmosphere of Prayer relaxes the soul an atmosphere of Prayer relaxes the tension in the body and it creates an atmosphere of what calm and in Philippians 4 6 & 7 he says be careful for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which passeth all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus so we we have to develop those healing relationships and then someone has to intentionally teach us how to relax like certain of my therapist and psychologist psychiatrist friends are teaching me some things now about how to help people who have been traumatized to relax that attention so that they can they can really buy into the healing process and and one one guy said that this is referred to as this whole process can be referred to as psycho education in other words where a person begins to learn his or her triggers you know why am i tensed what tense is me up what stresses me out you know what makes me anxious what makes me nervous everybody needs to have this psycho education where you recognize what you react to emotionally and what even creates physiological changes you know where your heart gets to beating you know like you get around certain people that were traumatic and your heart gets to racing things you're afraid of everybody needs this psychoeducation where you take the time to really look inside of your own soul and identify those things those triggers so that you can what begin to adjust yourself so rather than reacting you you learn to adjust yourself and you learn to intentionally relax you know like for instance I was I opened up an email today just business you know financial things man stressful things and there was a time man that that I wouldn't have even opened that email up because I just don't feel like dealing with no problems today you know what I mean I just don't feel like it but what I've learned about myself is that I have to confront it and I've learned how to relax and even breathe one one of my friends taught me I've learned the power of breathing and just calming myself down and then open it up and then I I deal with it not out of stress because when you when I'm stressed what my my intellectual faculties are arrested my spiritual faculties are arrested but when I calm down now I'm able to think in process and I'm able to look at things rationally and it's not as bad as my you know subconscious mind or my conscious mind may have wanted me to believe it was but I'd learned to do that from a position of what relaxation and and this is a major part of your healing you know developing that healing relationship but then coming to the place where you learn to calm yourself down to calm yourself down it's your responsibility to learn how to calm yourself down and the Bible says in second Corinthians 10:5 casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ so what is that saying to you there are thoughts that you will have that you have to before you react to them you would have to you will have to step back and think about the thoughts you just thought and determine if it's a thought that you should allow to go forth and bear fruit in your life or is this a thought you should cast down and eliminate from your life because there are many thoughts that we have that stem from what our pain our history our trauma and these thoughts come to do what put the foot down on the accelerator and the stress us out emotionally physically spiritually stress everybody out around us he says so you got to learn how to cast this stuff down and do what relax learn to relax okay and then finally in a state of relaxation like for instance I open that email up today in a state of relaxation I didn't open it up until I relaxed number three you have to confront the trauma when you're relaxed number one develop we have to develop the healing relationship number two we have to receive or accept the healing relationships that God will always provide we have to intentionally learn to relax our minds our souls our bodies all of that but number three you got to confront you have to confront the trauma when you're relaxed now what I'm learning what I'm learning is that when when dealing with people who have been traumatized it's not always the wisest move to go directly into what they experienced sometimes it's just about developing a relationship with them developing a comfort you know between you and them developing building a trust with them you know and then it's about you know showing them how they're high strung and then helping them to calm down and then as they calm down then they're in a position where they can actually confront the trauma but they have to control confront the trauma from a place of security and calm and relaxation the soul in other words must be desensitized through common engagement with the source of the trauma now let me show you how this also works worked in my life recently anybody that knows me knows that I have a phobia I have a dog phobia so if you ever around me with your dog it ain't nothing personal I love the way dogs look across the street I'm the dog can be that tall you can be this tall I'm I don't like dealing with no dogs I'm scared of dogs I love them but I don't want the other one I don't want to deal with no dogs I was out on my front yard and one of my neighbors who's this you know this Hispanic you know my children spent guy he has this beautiful silver with blue-eyed pitbull beautiful dog and man he catches me out on the yard and he's walking up to me to talk to me he has the dog one of the dogs are most afraid of Jesus a pitbull well I can't Punk I you know I'm a man so man my heart beating like this didn't and he comes and he's talking to me and the dog is rubbing up against my leg and and I'm a I'm about to faint I'm sweating you know I'm about to faint and then I realized that the dog meant me no harm and though the dog has a vicious reputation the dog was just as docile and calm looking up at me and everything and a calm down and my heartbeat calmed down and I stopped breathing I even forgot about the dog being and I continued the conversation with him and the interesting thing is the confrontation of the trauma let's call it that desensitized me to my fear of dogs to a certain extent now I don't have my fear of dogs is nothing like it it used to be I just I just experienced I just confronted a pit bull rubbing up against my leg looking at me with those big teeth in his mouth and I came out alive and the confrontation desensitized the emotion it desensitized the thoughts that normally would would trigger emotion and behavior that would be unreasonable so once we get a person to a place where they this healing relationship and we get a person to a place where we we teach them to just calm down and relax in the promises of God relaxing the safety of your circle now the person is at a place where we can introduce the dog we can deal with the thing they've been trying to run from the thing they've been trying to cover up and once they confront it their souls become desensitized to the emotion because remaining high-strung and emotional is really the glue that binds the soul to the past pain when you can talk about it you can move away from it when you can confront it you can conquer it so we confront the trauma when relaxed when calm when at peace in God we confront the trauma Jesus back to the story of Jesus and the woman at the well and I'm done Jesus meets this woman at this whale and he causes her to relax he then confronts her about her past something uncertain as she was ashamed of five husbands five times rejected and now you with a man that's not even your husband Jesus confronts the trauma once he got the woman relaxed now here's the beauty the Kuta Bible says here in Hebrews 13:5 and six let your conversation be without covetousness and be content with such things as you have for health he had said I will never leave thee nor forsake thee so that we may boldly say the Lord is my helper and I will not fear what man shall due to me Jesus confronts the trauma in the woman's life once he got her into a relaxed state once he developed a relationship with her once he got into a relaxed state he then confronted the trauma in the woman's life now he is the beauty of it when Jesus got through with the woman at the well read that read the full context the Bible specifically says the woman leaves Jesus the Bible says Jesus the woman leaves Jesus goes into the city watch this and it specifically says she tells the men come and see a man and she had so much authority that the men followed her indicative of what when Jesus got through developing that healing relationship with her creating an environment where she could relax confronting the trauma when the woman was in a place of relaxation where she could accept the truth the woman was so free and whole that she was able to go back into her world and confront the very thing that was her problem men and what what once had authority over her she now exercised authority over it men and they follow her and they came to see Jesus and so I want to say this to you I know that I know we're hurting I know that there are a lot of issues in our lives but there's nothing that you cannot overcome there's nothing that you cannot overcome and I just wanted to stop by today to be a part of your healing community and to speak hope into your life or maybe it seemed bleak but I came to speak hope into your life and I want to pray for you father I thank you for this time that I've had thank you for your your presence in God I thank you that as I have spoken I thank you for freedom I thank you for the Liberty in the spirit and now God allow the anointing of your Holy Spirit to flow into the lives of your people in every place of brokenness every place of pain god I thank you for developing relationships I thank you for calming your people down and I thank you for giving them the power to confront the trauma and the dispose of the things that the enemy is planted I thank you for these things in Jesus's name Amen hey I love you all I love you I love you I love you I thank God for you don't forget if this is well if this is your first time checking checking us out we'd love to have you as a part of our community please subscribe like and leave your comments although that helps me to expand what I'm doing here on this platform don't forget to stop by Ric Blake's comm and sign up for my email list those of you that want to go on the cruise Lisa and I were having let's talk with RC and Lisa Blake's Cruise in 2020 July 19 through 26th of 2020 we're cruising the Western Caribbean we're gonna be there on the cruise for seven nights Lisa and I along with many of our family from all over the nation and some are coming out I think out of Europe and some out of Australia at this point they're calling from all different parts and it'll be a time where queen ology meets King ology I will have released my book King ology the male companion to Queen ology and so it'll be a time for men and women not necessarily for married couples or couples but it'll be a time where we will have sessions for Queen ology as well as sessions for men King and if you want more information just go to RC Blake's comm and you see it there under live events just hit on it it'll it'll send you to the phone number or the email that you can get more information I love you I thank God for you don't forget to stop by Amazon pick up my books queen ology soul ties what else imperfectly holy something else I've got wisdom for women in ministry stop by and pick up my books at Amazon and just know that Lisa and I love you I want you to have a great day share this on your other platforms like Facebook helped me to get the word out and just know that I'm praying for you and I love you god bless you have a great afternoon all is well remember this you're on top and you're going higher so God has more in store for you guess what I will see you at the top god bless you until next time

Channel: RC Blakes, Jr

Views: 125,301

Rating: 4.9399681 out of 5

Keywords: Dating Advice, Relationships, Christian, Narcissist, RC BLAKES

Id: bagdVztn_do

Length: 37min 30sec (2250 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 01 2019