HOW TO MOVE ON FROM A RELATIONSHIP by RC BLAKES

good evening good evening good evening good evening I hope that everybody is doing great this is our se Blake's and I'm coming at you unannounced for the most part and I want to discuss something I have just a few minutes something that's that's on my heart if you if this is your first time here I Mrs E Blake's I'm a pastor I'm a man and I'm a student of life and what I learned I try my best to share so if you're there how let me let me know where you're coming from I won't be able to read most of your comments because they come in so fast but kind of let me know where you come in from in the world where you're you know what city what state what country and also when I'm done make certain that you check out the description because there will be a link there for a counseling service called better help I mention that a lot because I get a lot of email about counseling and I'm not a counsel I'm not a psychologist I'm not a therapist I'm just a pastor and a man but I've partnered with and this particular group better help they sponsor me and so I believe in them and so if if that's something you need I'll put their link in the description and if you use the link it'll it'll get 10% off of what is already an affordable counseling service by phone but I was thinking about something and also forget don't forget this make certain that you register for my queen ology cyber conference it's the conversation for Queens it's the next level conversation after the book queen ology FAQ about it I'm actually in the process of writing the book this is like the trilogy the father-daughter talk clean ology and I don't know exactly what I'm going to title this one but it deals with a queen conscious woman now entering into her reign and the things she needs to understand so that'll be the link for the conference will be in in the description as well the conference is just $39 it's going to be July 25th a Saturday and 26 of Sunday one piece and I'm 39 dollars for both days I'm going to it's going to be from 1:00 to at least three each day and you know will break and then of course will come back the next day and we'll resume and I'll be doing I'll be doing the teaching so it's just $13 yeah I can't go to the oral school happening myself up to the world amen so stop by and check that out down in the description but let's talk about this and if you hear a lawnmower it's because they are cutting the grass out there hopefully it won't get too loud but I want to talk about how to move on from a relationship after relationship is over how do you move on how do you move on how do you move on everybody says well you know get over it get over it well how how do I do that you know what I mean how do I do that and and the reason I know that this is a necessary conversation is because again email you know my my connection to the world is through email and I get this all the time you know I I know this person is his and I get this all the time you know I I know this person is is not good for me this person is a narcissist this person is a dog she was a Jezebel and she did me wrong but I don't know how to move on that's what I want to deal with today moving on Jesus even talks about how a person should dust your feet if you if you go to city jesus told his disciples he says you go to city and they don't receive you dust you can keep it moving you got to learn how to do that in life you know what I mean we cannot be people that are so Oshin alee amesh with others that we don't know how to break free as individuals and move forward with our lives so I have some practical things that I want to share with you today number one when you're in a posture where you need to move on from a relationship number one you have to understand this you need a purely objective view you need one once you're there and you say okay this is this is not good I got a new arm you now need a purely objective you need you need a view that will hit you right between the eyes with the whole truth and nothing but the truth you know like even in terms of what I do in my approach there are times that I try to be a lot more gentle but I've discovery and I've discovered should I say that the most effective approach is when I just hit you right between the eyes because when you have been influenced by a relationship that has been toxic you really need hard truth to kind of shake you out of that coma that you're in so you're going to need a purely objective view you're not going to need you know the opinion of your yo-yo girlfriends who like your man and really was rooting for y'all and she wants you to have a wedding so bad that her her perspective is subject to her personal desires you're gonna need it you're gonna need an objective view you're gonna need somebody listen to what the Bible says in John 8 and 32 the Bible says and ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make listen this signal is failing me unfortunately I don't want to invest all of this time into delivering this and and it not come through buffering we're back it's better now you're clear now it's not buffering okay I'll try it I'll try it if it does it again what I'm going to do is I'm going to shut it down and then I'll just come back either tonight or tomorrow and our deliver this but number one you need a purely objective view John 8 and 32 says you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free so you cannot separate freedom from truth you cannot separate truth from freedom right now that means you're gonna have to have somebody that's going to give you the truth about your situation this was a user you got deceived you bought into it here's the truth it's time for you to move on you have wasted enough of your time and your money on this situation you are better than this you've got to know the truth and the truth makes you free truth is the most painful blessing truth is the most painful blessing truth will hurt to the core but at the end of the day truth ends up being the biggest blessing and you need somebody in your life that is going to give you the whole truth letter a if you're going to if you're going to get an objective view of this letter a pay attention to the thoughts you've always ignored if you want an objective view of which what you're dealing with pay attention to the thoughts finally take the time to pay attention to the thoughts that you always ignored in this process you're going to have to debate your own mind because watch this you didn't just get to this place where this person finally broke your heart and and you know finally did you in you have been having thoughts for years about this person that you were ignoring those thoughts were your good common sense talking to you and those thoughts were the Holy Spirit guiding you now what you need is you need an objective view you need pure truth so it starts with remembering and paying attention to the thoughts that you've always ignored about this person and the Bible says is my signal good and the Bible says in 2nd Corinthians 10 4 and 5 for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ what is it telling you you got to pull down strongholds by casting down imaginations and everything that exists you have to capture those thoughts that kept you imprisoned to this relationship those you know those ideas of ideals that were not reality if you're going to get an objective view of this you got to revisit those thoughts that you always thought but those were the thoughts that you tried your best ignore let it be find a person that's not consumed with your feelings and a person that will give you the plain truth you need somebody to punch you between the eyes right now of course I'm not talking literally I'm talking about with truth you need somebody that I will care more about your few your future then they care about your feelings and will tell you yes you've been a fool for this situation for too long you've been used you got to know you've been used you can't go back and be used some more because if you go back you're no longer a victim now your volunteer you need somebody in your life that's not consumed with your feelings and will give you the plain truth you don't need anybody that's pacifying you and trying to make you feel better about it it ain't nothing to feel good about this is a situation that you should have been you should have never even gotten involved in but you need somebody that will give you that kind of hard truth because you need what an objective view you don't you don't need anymore pacifying and the Bible says in proverbs 27 five and six open rebuke is better than secret love and then it goes on in verse six and it says faithful are the wounds of a friend but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful Thank You Ella a pastor RC Blake's I'm so glad I caught you live truly appreciate all the knowledge you have given me over the last few months I pray God continue to bless you and your family thank you so much I appreciate you means the world to me so so how do we how do we get through this how do we how do we move beyond this you need a purely objective view you got to pay attention to the thoughts you've always thought the things you tried to ignore now you got to recall that stuff and remember that stuff and then you need to find a person that's not consumed with your feelings but a person is trying to push you out of this situation and push you into your future not your feelings but your future not your feelings but your future not your feelings but your future not your feelings but your future Thank You Amanda now number number two so number one we said you have to you need a purely your gonna move on beyond this situation you need a purely objective view of this matter number two you got to grieve the disappointment you got to grieve the disappointment you you you you you are you're not you're not grieving the individual highly favored thank you you have helped me so much in my healing god bless you Pastor thank you so much I appreciate you I really do you're not grieving the individual you are grieving the lost hope you gotta grieve it you gotta grieve it you're gonna move on beyond it you gotta grieve it you can't just sit down you know I don't know don't bother me don't bother me don't bother me no no you you got you got to grieve it you got to allow yourself to grieve the fact that you invested so much in this and you had hopes for this and it didn't work out and so now your spirit is crushed you got to feel that pain you got to experience that pain you got to grieve that pain and you got to let that pain flow through you just don't sit in that pain and the Bible says in Matthew 5 and 4 blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted sometimes you got to just let it out and when you let it out God the Bible says God is nigh unto them who are of a broken heart when you let it out and you start grieving it then God shows up to bring forth the healing you got you gotta grieve that you need an objective view got to have the whole truth nothing but the truth and then you got to just you got to allow yourself to grieve it you got you got to allow yourself to feel that feel that pain the pain of disappointment your not grieving them he or she ain't worth it your grieving the lost hope you had so much invested in this and you had so much hope for this that's what your grieving you got that you got to grieve that you grieve it to finalize it in your mind you grieve it to finalize it in your mind that it's dead let me read that again you grieve it to finalize it in your mind that it's dead so you got because it's dead you got to have the funeral see the thing that makes death real in terms of closure is when we have to go to the funeral and we have to see the body the remains in the coffin we got to see them close the lid and we got to see them deposit the the coffin in the tomb that that makes that makes it real for us well likewise when you have a relationship that you thought was living in vibrant and was going you know this was going to be your future coach rod thank you man I appreciate you sir it's good to have some brothers coming in here with me thank you I appreciate you you got to grieve it to finalize it in your mind that it's dead so you got to do the crime and this is real even for brothers get a woman you love with all your heart and she proved to be some other than what you thought she was man that thing break your heart you want to give your life to this woman she turned out to be you know Thank You Carla some other than yeah that breaks your heart but you gotta you gotta grieve it to finalize it in your mind grieving it is like the funeral you know what I mean now you know and the Bible says in Proverbs 13 12 I think this is Ruthie thank you so much I think this might be the amplified version it says unrelenting unrelenting proverbs 13 12 Natalie thank you Stephanie thank you I appreciate you proverbs 13 12 says unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick you got you got to grieve it you know when you had hopes for this thing you can't just ignore that you can't bottle that up you know grieving it is isn't letting that stuff out it was there all you weak you weak no no I'm healing Thank You Kim thank you for telling us the truth I appreciate you Kim I'm not weak because I aggrieved it I'm healing because I grieve it and I got to grieve in my own way you know I got to grieve in my own way I got to grieve in my own time but but I got to grieve this and while you're grieving watch this the first thing you letter 8 under under under point number 2 you got to anchor yourself in your dignity because when you're grieving if you're if you don't anchor yourself in your dignity your your soul your broken soul will try to send you back to reignite you you go and try to do CPR on a situation that coded so you have to anchor yourself in your dignity and by that I mean you have to make up your mind that there's certain things I'm going to do certain things I'm not going to do there's certain levels I'm going to certain levels I'm not going to precious kids thank you so much I'm gonna anchor myself in my dignity now I mean lock up in my house and I'm a you know I'm a bawl my eyes out you know I may pull the pull of drapes you know and and pull a cover over my head but you'll never know that because I'm anchoring I'm anchoring myself in my dignity I'm not gonna sink to that level I'm not gonna say I will never be a queen begging a clown letter B you got a private leave int your emotion that's important you don't go in you don't go and grieve all over social media who let me say that one more time when you anchor yourself in your dignity Michelle there are no words to express what you and Lisa continue to do for me I thank God for you every single day love you both thank you so much Michelle we love you too thank you so much when you anchor yourself and your dignity it will not allow you to publicly Vince your emotion you privately vent your emotion you don't get all over social media you don't get all on Facebook and you know big and somebody on Facebook you know all the little emojis with the tears running you don't give you don't give a clown the satisfaction of knowing that he's having that kind of an impact on you you don't give a woman that kind of you don't give her that kind of satisfaction of knowing that she's broken on a king you don't give a clown of satisfaction of knowing he's broken a queen you anchor yourself and your dignity while you grieve you you privately vent your emotion you find someone that you can talk to that will keep your confidence and and that will give you wise truthful counsel and then let us see you gotta bury it psychologically see you grieve it by anchoring yourself in your dignity and then you privately vent your emotion and then you thank you Juanita and then you you bury it psychologically in other words you just begin to put it to rest you know it is what it is it's not anymore and I'm moving on that's dead that's gone you know I don't need to have conversations with people who who knew both of us that want to keep bringing this person up I'm burying this emotionally natural vibe thank you hi pastor Blake's I am here once again sitting at the head of my throne with my king waiting for your conference and queen ology aftermath book I'm an arc relationship survivor thank you so much I appreciate you with all of my heart you all don't know what your words mean to me so you got that let me go back number one number one was you need to eat a purely objective view how do you move on from this you need a purely objective view you're making a fool of yourself you're making a fool out yourself you have an inferior person that is manipulating you your PhD woman manipulated by a GED man that's that's the kind of that's the kind of truthful direct that's the kind of objective view you need you need somebody that's just going right between I said look you're making a fool out of yourself you look real foolish you go look in the mirror do you see full written across your forehead that's what you're behaving like that's what you need you need somebody that loves you in your life that will give you that kind of truth that's why that's why therapy and counseling is so good because those persons that they don't have any skin in the game so they're not trying to spare your feelings in it they don't have a relationship with the other person and all of that kind of thing they don't care nothing about that they just want to give you they're gonna hear the facts and then they're gonna give you the truth you need a purely objective view number two you got to grieve the disappointment you are disappointed your heart is broken your heart is shattered and you got that you got you you need to grieve you need to grieve the lost hope it ain't the person you grieve and you feeling like something must be wrong with me I'm crying you don't realize it you're not crying about them you're crying about what you thought was real that you discover was fake it was never real you grieving the lost hope Hope deferred makes the heart sick when your hope has been shattered you have to allow that emotion to flow through you and not sitting you because it'll make you sick and in number three number three and I'd only have five points but number three is you must create your own closure you need objective pure purely objective view you need to grieve it but now you need to create your own closure number one thank you so much that's a good name that number one you must create your own closure now closure for me is created Thank You Dana thank you so much for all your words of encouragement and wisdom you continue to be a blessing in my life that's my aim that's my intent thank you so much Nia thank you so much I appreciate you Glen Glen Martin Marlena thank you so much I appreciate you number three you must create your own closure there's no sense this it's futile to sit around and think that this person is somehow going to change and come back and apologize and that's why you got to bury it because if you don't bury this situation you always have hopes that is gonna resurrect you know bury it very--it buried buried and then you you you you got to create your own closure you cannot you cannot sit there and this thing assuming that somehow this person is going to come back and suddenly a person of no character is gonna suddenly get character and apologize thank you Mary I appreciate you apologize and give you closure no no you're gonna have to create your own closure and you know what I always teach forgiveness is forgiveness is the main route to closure forgiveness is not about making anything they do right it's not about justifying their behavior it's not about saying that what they did you know none of that forgiveness is about releasing people in fact it's about releasing yourself it's about letting them go and releasing them into the hand of God and it's about positioning yourself where you focus on your future and you allow God to deal with them move forward and leave them to God trust God to temper your emotions and chart your future that's what forgiveness is about so you you create closure through forgiveness and the second thing let it be language that's how you create closure through forgiveness in your heart you release them you know it is what it is I release you that God deal with you I'm moving forward into my future but then you have to use language the words you choose to speak over your life are producing either death or life and so you can't keep talking about this person you can't speak hatefully about this person in fact you don't need to talk about this person at all the Bible says in Matthew 15 and 11 not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man but that which cometh out of the mouth this defileth at the man when you keep saying I don't think I can take it your prophesying your own reality I don't know what I don't know what I'm gonna do your prophesying your own calamity so you have to begin to use intentional language like this for instance you begin to say stuff like this rather than the things I just mentioned you begin to say things like the person that broke me will not heal me and you begin to have these weigh all thoughts that somehow this person is gonna come back and don't end it up save the day you begin to say to yourself the person that broke me will not will never heal me they don't have the capacity nor do they have the desire to see me whole you begin to say things like I'm above the treatment that I've allowed you got to start you got to start using your language to bring closure the person that broke me will never fix me the person that hurt me will never heal me I am above the treatment that I've allowed I will never allow this kind of treatment of me again and then you begin to say things like this to yourself my pain will not last this is not about my feelings this is about my future using language to what generally create closure you got to use a lot you see just how do therapists move you from point A to point Z language well you can you can you can do your own therapy when you start hearing your mind going in a in a downward direction in a negative direction you then use your language to pull yourself out of that pit and you put yourself back on the path of healing Thank You Cheryl Thank You Cheryl is this making sense to young and then number four you got to generate the momentum of you have to generate the momentum of progressive distraction I like that generate the momentum of progressive distraction now what do you mean by that pasture generating the momentum of progressive distraction that's that's a fancy way of saying you have to figure out where you're going and you got to pick yourself up from here and you got to start moving in the direction of your vision progressive generate the momentum of progressive distraction your vision what you want to accomplish becomes a progressive distraction because it moves you from where you're at and it moves you to a preferred a more preferred place in your future but you've got to move to get there you see what I'm saying so you need to rather than sitting here and wallowing in this now you can grieve in and all that but now you got to generate the momentum of progressive distraction you got to figure out where you're going see cuz the greatest thing that the main thing that can heal a broken present is the positive future you got to realize that you have to reimagine your life because in a lot of cases you you tired this person so much up into your life that you can't you it's it's hard for you then imagine a vision of future without them but the reality is that they never really were a part of your future they were just acting for a little while now it's time for you to get back to doing you and figuring out where you going because the average person why this the average person will seek another relationship as a distraction that's why you move out of one toxic relationship into another you were looking for a distraction well don't use another relationship as a distraction use your vision use your future another relationship before healing in usually ends in disaster but the Bible says in Proverbs 29 and 18 where there is no vision the people perish another version says cast off restraint have no rules to govern themselves by where there's no vision when you get a vision for your life and you begin to live according to your vision your vision says we ain't got time to keep going over this now we got things to do we have an agenda see you need an agenda because more than likely this person was your entire agenda and now you have to reimagine redesign your life and you have to create generate the momentum of progressive distraction by letter A investing in yourself investing in yourself you know in other words spend some time figuring you out you've been so consumed with with this person and this situation ship that you don't know you you got to invest in yourself learn your personality figure out who you are learn your personality and watch this even figure out what made you vulnerable this is why you can't jump out of this into another relationship you have to generate you have to generate the momentum of progressive distraction I need time now to figure me out I have to invest in me I have to figure out why that I even entertain a fool like this I got some personal work to do is this helping anybody in Psalm 139 23 and 24 psalmist says search me O God and know my heart try me and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting he says search me what he's really saying is God revealed my heart to me I don't I don't know who I am I don't know what I'm doing I don't know where I'm going search me and know my heart and reveal to me the stuff that I need to see how did I let this person get into my life I put this crown on this clown and sit this clown on the throne next to me somebody he's a king you got you got a you got a you got to figure out now letter B you got a you got to remember we're talking about this is all under number for generating the momentum of progressive distraction invest in yourself figure you out you know self discovery all of this kind of thing and then let it be you got to remember your goals the goals that you had before you were distracted by the situation ship do you remember when you used to really dream and you had goals personal goals that you were reaching for but this person came into your life and somehow upset all of that and you kind of lost sight of you trying to figure this person out number one keep knocking us into a positive future thank you I'm trying my best you got to remember your goals the goals you had before you were distracted you see imagine you know what were your educational goals what were your entrepreneurial goals what what were your spiritual goals what were your your health goals what were your goals you need you need you need you need to have something in your life now that creates the momentum of progressive distraction something to keep me preoccupied with something that is going to benefit me as an individual as opposed to constantly go going back to the idea of a lie and then number five and I'm done you got to calm down wait on God you got in this mess because you wasn't waiting the first time and now you want to rush God you want to rush every process you can't rush the process you got to calm yourself down and beg you got to wait on God don't send me no email tell me about how old you are I don't care nothing about that I don't care nothing about how old you are you are any you are in a state where you need to heal your soul is sick and you keep entertaining stuff that is beneath you you need healing you need repair so calm down and wait on God stop rushing stop rushing into another situation when you have not even learned how to discern a good relationship you you haven't even done the work to know who you are which means you don't know what you deserve which means if you see what you deserve you can't even recognize it and your mind has been so preconditioned that you are attracted to everything you don't need so calm down calm down and wait on God you've got some other things you need to work on and the only reason you want to just rush into this situation is because you know you want to have sex they there's more to life than sex you need a legacy you need goals you need a vision you need achievement you need accomplishment you need self-awareness you need emotional health and balance can I get you to just calm down and just say wait a minute let me wait on God let me trust God cuz you know and I say this because I have to I have to say this to you all y'all does they tell my well you know I'm this X amount of years old I ain't got no man yet I'm extra money I ain't got no me you know why you don't want 99% of y'all don't have no man yet it's because every time God sent you one you had another demonic situation that you created in the way thank you Tony did you say I don't care how old you are don't email me teach pastor that's right don't you meal me with that I don't know hear nothing about that don't know he mail me nothin about how old I'm but Bishop I'm this amount oh I don't care nothing about how old you are Thank You Denis tria you got to calm down and you have to wait on God the reason you don't have no man you say God ain't sent me no man yet every time God sent one around you had somebody in the bed you haven't been by yourself since she was a teenager you keep creating all of these soul ties you create and then you get to 35 40 50 55 60 you say God and sent me no man he may have sent you three but you always had your own man in the way cable one coffee field a parking space if you got a hooped in the parking space I don't come any times God sends the Bentley round it will never Park in your space because it's occupied so what you need to do my dear you need to calm down and wait on God and take your little fingers off of your life and trust God to do what only God can do God will send a man into your life I don't care what your age is God will send the right man into your life but you got to get the clown off the crown off the throne get the crown off the clown head and then get the clown off the throne so God can send the king but you gotta wait on God Thank You Lavvy thanks for this healing message PS could you please at ms mrs. Michelle melt Bella know you appreciate her support god bless you ah yes in fact as Miss Michelle Mellon to email me so that I can personally do that totally blessed thank you love you and lady Blake's misty thank you so much I appreciate you look what Isaiah 40 and 31 says but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength they shall mount up with wings as Eagles they shall run and not be weary they shall walk and not faint they there what weighed upon the Lord shall renew their strength wait don't go babe I know it me feel like I can't take it I'm gonna be a man wait on God and let God renew your strength and so this is something the Holy Spirit just dropped in my heart relative to how to move on from broken relationships let me pray for you let me pray for you God I thank you for this time today that we've had together and now god I ask you to cause these principles to cement into the hearts of your people I pray for every person dear god that feels like they are on the verge of giving up feeling like there's no hope god I thank you now that you are breathing upon them life and hope in Liberty and now father I say in the name of Jesus Christ every person that is under the sound of my voice live and those that will listen to this in the future I thank you for the anointing of the Holy Spirit to heal and deliver their souls in Jesus's name Amen dad's dad's I hope I'm saying that right yes sir remove these imposters we let in thank God for you and your courage to teach us lost ones thank you so much listen I have thoroughly enjoyed this I'm listen I want you to go and register for my queen ology conference it's international I said it at 1 p.m. Central Standard Time so that those of you in the in in the UK and in Europe and some even in Australia are gonna wake up at wee hours of the morning to be a part of registered I want the world to come to this queen ology this was supposed to be my international year but kovat 19 prevented us from taking the message to the globe so we're bringing it cyber July the 25th and the 26th I'm going to put the diss put it in the description the link and I'll also put the link for better help for those of you that may need some counseling grandma boogie I like that name thank you for leading me in the right direction you're a true blessing to me thank you it means the world to me to hear you say that so I love you all with all of my heart right now I've got some work to do I'm getting prepared for this cyber conference is going to be about six to eight hours of content between the 25th and the 26th and I'm teaching the whole thing for the most part and we'll have breaks but it's gonna be like it's gonna be very similar to a live queen ology conference and so I want you there just that is gonna be the material is the the content is gonna be a little longer because we're doing it over two days so I love you thank you all for supporting me I really really truly appreciate you with all of my heart pray for me to have the grace to do everything that God is assigned to me Thank You Mia thank you sir for speaking the words that my father never taught me never too late to learn how to just my crown bless you you better know that I believe I believe that's my assignment in life to help Queens adjust their crowns and to help Kings possessed their Thrones I like that help Queens just their crowns and Kings possess their Thrones I like that y'all remind me that I know I make forget it I love you god bless you have a great night now talk to you real soon may talk to you again this week Christian Kristin thank you so much with a big ol heart I appreciate you god bless you my babies I love you have a great night

Channel: RC Blakes, Jr

Views: 99,710

Rating: 4.9491267 out of 5

Keywords: Dating Advice, Relationships, Christian, Narcissist, RC BLAKES

Id: 44XhVc8ndQM

Length: 44min 40sec (2680 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 29 2020