- [JJ] I don't believe it,
the Sidemen have managed to post every single Sunday, even though we're still
in lockdown. Incredible! And today we have a
Sidemen Tinder in lockdown. How the hell is this even going to work? Well, you'll find out soon, but first, you better subscribe. I know you haven't subscribed. We get a minimum of 10 million
subs on every tinder video, and we're still not on 10 million subs? Whose that because of? You! It's your fault, because you haven't subscribed. So do it. Just do it! 2020 already sucks, do you want 2021 to suck even more? That's what I thought. (upbeat music plays) - Hi, I'm Caitlyn, I'm 20 and
I'm from Bishop Stortford, and I am currently studying law. - Hi - Hello - I'm JJ. I'm 26. And if corona couldn't finish you off, can I? - Oh, that was very creative. (laughter) - I think that was everyone's first line. - That was a good one. - [Josh] Everyone has
the same one, I swear. (laughter) - [Vik] I had that
written down right here. Noo! - Right, you can go through
because you've got in first. - (cheering) Let's go! - [Simon] Are you serious? - Hey, my name's Ethan. I'm 24, from London, and are you an N-95 mask, because I want you on my face. - Oh, my god! Oh god, okay. That made me cringe a little bit. (scream) It's a no from me, it's a no from me. (laughter) - Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27, and I wash my hands, even when there's not a global pandemic. - Oh, I like that, hygienic. Yes, that's a yes from me. Always good. - [Simon] We used the
same website! (laughter) - Hey, my name is Vik. I'm 24, and in my spare time, I enjoy long walks from my
office to the kitchen. (laughter) - I feel like I've heard that one before, or seen it on Instagram or something. It's a no from me, it's a no from me. - Why is no over the internet so much worse than in real life? (laughter) - Hi, I'm Simon. I'm 27, and I know they say
we should be 6 feet apart, but as long as we're about
three and a half inches away, we'll be fine. (laughter) - How long did it take to
think of that one? (laughter) Okay, it was creative, yes, yes. - Yes! (cheering) Let's go! - Hello
- Hi - I'm Harry, I'm 23, I'm from Guernsey. What do me and coronavirus have in common? We both shagged Ethan's grandma. - [JJ] Oh my god - [Josh] Oh my god. Hang on, I just deeped that. What the fuck. - That was a bit fucked up, okay. Okay, that's a no from me. - Could you say yes to
me as a pity please? And I'm not a fan of the top. - Say yes to me as pity please, I'm Ethan. - In comparison to that,
I think anythings a yes. (laughter) - Holey moley! - Hi, I'm Tobi, I'm 27 from London, and I'm the only one here who probably prepared for this pandemic. I got gloves, toilet rolls, masks. Whatever you need, I've got it. - Alright. Okay, I like that, I like that. Yeah, it's a yes from me. It's better than some of
the other chat-up lines. (laughter) - Hi, I'm Sherisse, I'm
28 and I'm from Kent. - Hello. I'm Ethan, I'm from London, I'm 24, and in a world full of disease, could I please give you her-pes. (laughter) - Oh dear. I'm really sorry, but the obvious answer is, of course, no. It's a no from me. - [Josh] How was that even going to work? - Oh my god. Hi, I'm JJ, I'm 26, and I want to show you
a quick magic trick. Could you put your hand, kinda just round here. Okay, you just touched my ass, okay? So we might as well go all the way. (laughter) - Brilliant, brilliant. Okay, yeah, (cheering) it's a yes from me. That's cheeky, and (inaudible)
- Let's go! - Hey, I'm Vik. I'm 24, and I always survive the Gulag. - Oh God. (laughter) - Oh, I mean. Yeah, sorry, it's a no. Really sorry about that. - Fair enough, fair enough. I'll come back, I'll come back. (laughter) - Hello, I'm Harry. I'm 23, I'm from Guernsey. And, if you don't say yes, Imma throw this dog out
the window. (laughter) - Oh my god! Oh my god! - Harry! (laughter and clapping) - What a legend. - You got told mate. Your mum's come in to tell you off. (laughter) And that was also blackmail as well, so I'm not here for that, I'm afraid - Ah, okay. Alright. - You would have gotten
through on the dog, just showing the dog alive, but you wanna throw it out the window, that's another story. - Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27. What's the difference between
you and a pair of sunglasses? - I'm a human? - Sunglasses sit higher on my face. (laughter) - I mean, I'm really glad
you found that funny, but (laughter) Yeah, it's a no. It was a good try, it was a
good try, it was a good try that But yeah, nah, it's a no, sorry. - Hi, I'm Tobi, I'm 27, and this lockdown actually
hasn't been a problem for me, because I've been
self-isolating for 27 years, to stop girls catching feelings. - [Everyone] Oooooh. - Well, there's another one here not gonna catch any feelings. (jeering and shouting) - I'll keep self-isolating,
I'll keep self-isolating. - Hi, I'm Simon. I'm 27, and what's the difference between an erection and a Ferrari? - I don't know, go on. - I don't have a Ferrari. (laughter) (laughter) - I mean, the joke was good, but yeah, it was a no, I'm sorry. - Come on man. - Do these sex jokes work for girls? Because, you know, the ones I know would always be no to that. - They work for the video. (laughter) - My name's Vik, I'm 24. I just won the Gulag, so I'm back. Will you give another chance?
- It is still no. - [JJ] (jeering) Oh, Jesus! - [Josh] Someone get redeployed, quick, someone get redeployed. - Oi, someone fire me
back, someone fire me back. - Hi, I'm Sophie-Rose. I'm 22 and I'm from Hertfordshire. - Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27. Roses are red, corona is a virus, say yes to the other guys, and you'll get Hepatitis. - Oh lord, no, no. - How are you going to
set us up like that? - [Tobi] You're a snake bro. - Next. - Hello - Hello - My names Ethan, I'm 24, and will you be my quarantine? - Oh, no, I liked that one. Yeah, you can stay. - Fucking get in there, (indistinct) - [Tobi] Ethan with the sweetness. - Come on! - Nice, he's muted. - He's muted. (laughter) - [Simon] He's choked it! - I enjoyed that one,
(laughter) that was thrilling. I'm excited. - Hi, I'm 26, I'm JJ.
- What (laughter) - I doubt that. - I'm 26 fam. Wagwan? Okay, is she on fleek? Check. Booty? Is it possible for you to
just step back real quick. - [Everyone] No, no, no. - Nope. - Nah, but nah, I just need to see - I have a mind, you know. I have, like, other features. - Oh no, okay, okay. Goddamn. - Goodbye. - Hi, I'm Simon, I'm 27, and if you're looking for a bad boy, I only washed my hands for
1 happy birthday earlier. - No, personal hygiene,
it has to be a thing. Goodbye. - Oh my god. Hi, I'm Tobi, I'm 26. And you're Sophie-Rose? - Yes. Ah, good remembering. - Well, my little Tobi rose
when you joined the call. (laughter) (clapping) - Levels to this game. - Do you know what? I loved it. You're in. (cheering) - [Ethan] Little Tobi's in. (laughter) - Don't worry, you're good. - My name's Vik, I'm 24, and this is my pickup lime. Wait, lemon, um.. (laughter) (clapping) - [JJ] God's sake. - Good, I like it. Yep, you're in.
- Thank you. (laughter) - [Harry] Hello, I'm Harry. I'm 23, and I'm from Guernsey. - You got the wrong thing up there. - Oh no. Oh shit! Wait, wait wait. Wait, wait wait. Sorry, I'm Harry, I'm Harry, I'm Harry. I'm 23, I'm from Guernsey, and how are you? (laughter) - If that was a
representation of your size, then I'm in. (cheering) - Ay yo, ay yo, what? - Unfortunately, its not. (laughter) - Hi, my name's Julia. I am 33 years old. I am from Australia, but
I am living in London. - Hi, I'm Tobi, I'm 27, and I can't wait for
lockdown to get lifted, so I can go down under with you. (laughter) - Tobi on smoke today.
- Australian joke, I like it. - I like it, yeah. I keep you. - Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27. Roses are red, lockdown life is shitty. When this is all over, can I play with your kitty? - Okay, I like it because it was original. I wasn't expecting it. But you lose, because I have a dog, so. Noah says no, because she'd be jealous, and she doesn't like cats, so. Hell no. - Hello, I'm Harry, I'm
24, I'm from Guernsey. Are you China, because you just
turned my world upside down. (laughter) - Just no. - Oh for fuck- Alright, fair enough. - I mean, good try, good try, but no. - Hi, I'm JJ, I'm 26, and out of all the girls, you're the only one I like. I mean the other girls
were nine out of 10s, but you know. (laughter) - Like, what is that? (laughter) That's not even a pickup line. You can't compare girls with other girls, and then be like, (jeering) - Hi, my name is Vik. I'm 24, and I'm also from Australia. (laughter) - Legendary. - Okay, I like you. Yes, yes. - Hi, I'm Simon, I'm 27. And are you Harambe's enclosure, because I want to drop a kid in you. - [Tobi] Oh my god. - Jeez
- Jesus. - Okay, I don't think
that went over my head, so no. - It was English slang
for 'you're beautiful.' - Oh (laugher) Is it? Is it actually English slang? - Yeah, yeah. - Well, I obviously haven't
lived here long enough, and I have no idea what you're saying. I have to read a dictionary, so no. - So close! - Hello, my name's Ethan. I'm 24 and I'm from London. Roses are red, violets are blue, let me lockdown, inside of you. - Hmm, smooth. No, no. (laughter) - [Josh] It's not a good day. - Not sexy, not sexy. - Hi, I'm Milly. I'm 21 from Lincoln. - Hi, I'm Simon, I'm 27,
and I was just wondering, are you subscribed to the Sidemen channel? - Is that all you care about, or? (laughter) About me?
- Well, statistically, - over 40 percent of the
people watching this aren't, and if we don't get 10 million subscribers by the end of the year, we ain't doing anymore videos. - [Ethan] Tell 'em again! - [Josh] Tell 'em - Thank you, thank you. That's a no, that's a no. - That was right on my
screen though, (laughter) that's right on my- - You need to turn your
screen around then. - You know what, I'll take
10 mill subs over that. - Hey, my name's Vik, I'm 24, and I've been stockpiling bread
ever since Brexit happened, so I'm ready for this lockdown. - What? (laughter) What? - I've been stockpiling bread. - Okay, should we start again? Do you wanna retry that? - No, no (laughter) I said what I wanted to say, I was just stockpiling bread.
- Great start, great start. - That's a no. - Okay - Hello, I'm Harry. I'm 23, I'm from Guernsey. And if I can beat my
little brother in a fight, will you swipe yes? - Yeah. - Let's get it. Alright, alright, go. (laughter) - He looks older than him. - [Josh] Oh my god, he's lost. He's gonna lose. - Oh my god - Bro he's gonna lose,
bro he's gonna los.e (laughter) - Great start. - He's losing, he's lost! - Oh my god, he's losing! - He's lost, he's lost.
- He's lost - [Josh] He's lost for sure. (laughter) - Oh, he's got back control. - Oh, he's gonna choke (inaudible) Oh, he's got the choke! - [Tobi] Top 10 anime comebacks. - [Simon] Oh, he's gotta tap out. He's gotta tap out here. - [Ethan] He's got him, surely. - [Tobi] It's over, it's over. - [Simon] Surely this is it, he's got to- Oh no, he's out again! - [Tobi] How has he got out? - [Josh] How are they still going? - Harry just looked. Right, so what do we do now? - Oh wait, he's tapped. Harry's tapped
- He's lost - [Josh] He's lost. (heavy breathing) - [Simon] Oh, no. Oh, he's got the belt! (laughter and clapping) - People's champ. - Ah shit, ah shit. (heavy breathing) Okay. Yeah, I took an L, I took an L. I took an L. - Harry, for the commitment,
I'm going to say yes. - [Harry] Okay, yes, thank you. - Yes, swipe right. - Hi, I'm Tobi, I'm 27, and I might not have a milli in the bank, but I'd feel like a very rich man with a Milly in my arm. - [Josh] Ahh. - Wow, that was really good. Really good. - Swipe right.
- Thank you - [Tobi] Oh my god, oh my god! - [Josh] What's going on now? - Ayo, do you mind? - Oh my god. - [JJ] Oh my gosh. (laughter) - Noo, no. - [Josh] What is going on? - Oh my god. Bro, top 10 artist. - Hello, my name's Ethan. I'm 24 and I'm from London, and will you cough in my mouth? - [Tobi] Whoa. - What the fuck? - Why? - This feels like a brilliant
Undatables cast. (laughter) - Oh my god!
- Oh my god. - No. - Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27. Are you YouTube? Because I want you to be mine. - Josh, how old are you? (laughter) - Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. - How old do you think he is, Milly? - Oh, no. - I'd say above 40. (laughter) (laughter and screaming) Sorry. - [JJ] Oh no. Oh no. - Hello, my name's Holly. I'm 24 and I'm from Bournemouth. - Hello. - Hi. - Hi. I'm Harry. I'm 23, I'm from Guernsey. If I can get, or score a basketball hoop, and then hit the crossbar, in first try, will you say yes to me? - 100 percent. Go for it. - This is ambitious. This is very ambitious. (laughter) - [JJ] Oh my god. - Give me one more try, give me one more. - [Simon] Do it from
closer, do it from closer. - Harry's lost his touch here, hasn't he? He has. (laughter) (cheering) - [Tobi] It's going over bro - [Simon] Crossbar? - Nah, nah, nah, it's fine. I'll go, I'll leave. - Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27. - Hi. - I ran out of quarantine snacks. Are you available? - [Everyone] Ooh. - And Chilli Heatwave are my favourite. Have you tried it with Chilli Hummus? It is the best. - I haven't, but I could try it with you. - Oh, 100 percent, I love that. Yes, definitely. - Jeez. - Hi, I'm Simon. I'm 27, and I'm very persistent, so even if you say no, I'll try again. - Okay, okay. - That's it, you just need
to know I'm persistent. - Great. Okay, persistence is key sometimes. Oh, oh you're kind of cute. Go on then, go on then. Yes, yes. - Yes! I didn't even get to
finish my line, but yes! - Hey, I'm KSI. I'm 26. I beat Logan Paul, I've got a top 10 song, and my album's out soon. (laughter) - Do you know what? The funny thing is, that KSI is the only one
that I actually know. So, I think that's not you. Like starting off with a lie, no. No, no. - It's fine, I've gone. - Hi, I'm Tobi. I'm 27, and I'm just happy to have some
human interaction right now. - Oh. Oh. - You need to interact a little bit then. - Interact with him. - It's been so long boys,
I've forgotten how to do it. - [Josh] Just talk, just use your mouth. - Do you know what, that
wasn't even my line. I forgot what my line
was, I had to freestyle. It's all gone wrong. - It kind of has, I'm sorry. - Just let me go, just let me go, please. - Yeah. - Hey, baby girl. (laughter) - Yo, I told you, even though you said yes, I'm persisting. (laughter) I'm persisting. I'm back, I told you. - [JJ] Ay yo, nah, wait. - Oh my god, I love that. - Do I get another yes? - Yes
- Can I have a yes please? - Yes
- Yes, thank you. - Where's the social distancing? Oh god. - Well, I'm KSI, so-
- Oh, baby, are you alright? - I'm a bit injured, but, you know what, I'm sure you could heal my wounds. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I think you dropped something. - What? - Your standards. Come on baby girl, you want this. (laughter) You want this. - No thank you. (jeering) - Oh dear. - Even with the lower standards bro. - You've had a stinker. - Hey, my name is Vik. I'm 24, and I have a
deck of cards right here. I want you to think of one of these cards. If I pull out which
card you're thinking of, can you swipe right please? - Yeah, sure. - Okay. Was is it the six of spades? - No. - Aight, nevermind. (laughter) - Wait, what?
- Was that it? - It was one in 52, you never know. - Oh my god. - I just rolled the dice. - Oh my god, I love magic though, so I would have gone yes, even if you'd got it wrong. - Oh, well there we go. - My names Adiza Shardul, I'm 30 years old, and I'm from Edinburgh. Hello, I'm Harry. I'm 24, I'm from Guernsey, and you can't spell quarantine, without U R A Q T. (groans and sighs) - That was a good one. - Oh, it's a stinker. - [Josh] He's gonna leave the room. - That's a no. Sorry. - Oh, I'm there, okay. Sorry. Hi.
- Are you alright there? - Yeah, I'm good, I'm good. Hi, I am JJ. I am 26. And how much are you worth? How much? - What, do you mean in? - Yeah, money, money. - Money? Oh, wow.
- Like, to buy you. - Not on my personality, or my soul, or - Just you.
- Just pure money. - Everything about you,
just everything about you. - I'm a thousandaire. - A thousand? - A thousandaire, yeah. - That's it? (laughter) - You're worth £1,000. - Honey, I am absolutely, I was about to say worth. - I mean, I've got £1,000 here. - You have £1,000? - Yeah, of course. I'm KSI. (laughter) - [Josh] For god's sake. - Is there anything else,
apart from your money, that you've got to offer? - If I'm being honest, no. (laughter) - I mean, I suppose if I'm bored, I can just spend your money. - Ay, that sounds good with me. - [Vik] How's he secured this? - And times are tough right now you know, with quarantine. - Ay, she knows. - I'm self-employed, being an actress. Yeah, I'm going to take you. You can fund my dreams. (cheering) - Fund my dreams, honey. - Jeez. - Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27. Are you the Loch Ness monster? Because I've been trying
to find you my whole life. - Wow. You just said I look like
the Loch Ness Monster, or? - No, no, no, because I'm trying to find - [Simon] Oh no. - Wow, cultural inappropriation,
because I'm Scottish. - Oh, Josh. - Oh, no. - Is your dad called Jacobs, because you're a wee cracker. - Oh my days
- Oh no. - Was that your Scottish accent though? - No. No, no, no. Your accent's (indistinct) - You're cute with your wee headphones in, and that was a cute joke. - They're massive. - Sorry, wee meaning cute, but yeah, they are very big headphones. Well. That's got me thinking. You know what they say about
a man with big headphones? - [Ethan] A massive cock and head. - [Simon] A giant head. (laughter) - You know what? Yeah, I'm going to say yeah. (cheering) - Hello, my name's E- - Eek? - Oh, he's frozen I think. - He's frozen. - Oh, are you alright there? - And I'd like to eat. - What's going on? - Your fanny. - Oh, wow. You went straight from, wow, okay. - Oh, sorry, did you, did I just cut out a bit? - Yes, I think you did. - Oh, sorry. (laughter) - What are you doing? Seriously, I can see
your headphone moving. You're still moving. (laughter) Nah, I ain't falling for that. I aint falling for that, honey. Okay, is that all you've got, that you want to see my fanny? (laughter) - I've got something for you. - Ooh, okay. - Hypothetically - Should I turn this off, and should it be private? - No, no, no. Hypothetically speaking, if I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed? - [Harry] Oh Jesus, oh Jesus. - Well, I heard swallowing
seeds are good for you, - Health is wealth. - Health is wealth, but to be honest, in this
time of what's going on, I'd probably spit just to be safe. - Okay, that's admirable. I like that. - Oh, okay. Right. - You're the one that's
meant to be doing the liking, by the way. - Right, I know. Ooh, you're good. You're good. Oh, I can't date you, you're too tricky. Nah, that's a no man, that's a no. You're smarter than me. (laughter) Can't have that, can't have that. - Hey, my name is Vik. I'm 24, and if I play
something on the piano, and you recognise it, will you swipe right? - Oh, okay. I like music. I'm up for that. Give it a go. Nice shorts by the way. (laughter) - Shitty Primark shorts. - [Simon] I swear to god,
if this gets us copyrighted. - [Tobi] The trim. (piano music plays) - Hold up - No music can save that trim. - Is that a Scottish song? No. - Oh, no.
- No. - [Simon] Oh, no. - Wait, wait, I know. - We'll change it up, we'll change it up. Wait, you know? - Yeah, change it up a bit, let's hear a bit more. (piano plays) - Okay, wait. (laughter) - [Simon] Oh no, oh no. - Yeah. (piano music plays) Oh, I know it. - All right, (indistinct)
- Is that? (laughter) - If you know it, you know it. - I'm so sorry, I didn't guess it. But, I do like a man that likes music. The way that you were
playing was so beautiful, so I'm going to have to say yes. - Oh, thank you. - [Harry] Oh, go on Vik. - Hello (laughter) - Hiya, what's that? - I'm Simon, I'm 27, and I'd like to take you
to this nice restaurant. - Where is this restaurant? - My bedroom. - Wow, that's cheap man,
that's cheap. Nah nah. - We're not allowed outside! - Well, nah man, still, you could have tried to
be a bit more creative than a fake background. Nah. Allow it, allow it. Next, nope. (laughter) Oh, wow. Well, okay. - Yo, I'm Tobi. I'm 27, and I'm more emotionally stable than Ethan's internet connection. - Oh, okay. That was a good one. I like an emotional, stable man. What else have you got? Is that it? - Yeah, that's it really. - [Harry] Oh, no. - There's not much more else. - The only thing that's
put me off is like, I don't know what's
going on under that hat, like are you hiding something? - It's lockdown, I can't get a trim, and I'm not cheating on my barber. - Oh, man
- I'm loyal, I'm loyal - I'm loyal. - Can you show me? Are you going to show
me what's under there, because I don't want to be
surprised, when it hits. - [Harry] Fuck it off,
fuck it off, get it out. - [JJ] Get it out, get it out, get it out. - Show your hair. - Oh, that's cute. It's growing. And it's natural. Yeah, I'll say yeah to
that, you look cute, go on. - Thank you. - Hi, I'm Robin, I'm 20 years
old and I'm from Stourbridge. - Nah. - [Harry] What? - Wow. Wow. - I didn't like him anyway. - Yeah, good. - [Harry] Good. - Hello. My name's Ethan. I'm 24 and I'm from London, and I don't know if you know, but there are three views, the front view and the back view, and the third view is I love you. (laughter) - I'm going to have to say no, sorry. Too cheesy.
- A bit too soon lad. - Tried screwing you up, Robin. - Hey, my name is Vik. I'm 24. And if you're Robin, can I be Batman? - [Harry] Oh, he's done it, he's done it. - He's done it. - You know what, I was wondering
who was going to say that. - How often do you get that? - Oh, every time I say my name. - Oh, no, I'm sorry. - Every single time. - How old are you? - I'm 24. - 24? Oh, I don't think my
parents would allow that. I'll say no. - [Harry] Oh, you've got trouble coming. (laughter) - Alright, thank you. - Hello! - Oh, I can see you now. - I am years old. (laughter) - How old? I am years old. - Oh, I missed that. - No, I am years old. - Oh, okay, yeah. - [Simon] Keeps cutting
out for some reason. - A B C D E F G Will you come lockdown with me? - Can you tell his age now? (laughter) - I might keep you on the side, I'll swipe yes. - Oh my goodness gracious.
- Go on, jeez. - Your parents are not going to be happy. - Yeah, your parents
are going to be fuming. - What do you mean? - Hi. I'm Simon, I'm 21, and this just in, Robin is about to say yes to Simon. We go live to the scene right now, Robin. - I don't think she is. I'm so sorry, no. - Oh no, oh no. - [Tobi] Oh, that's amazing. - Okay, we're cutting to commercials. (laughter) - Hello, I'm Harry. I'm 23, I'm from Guernsey. Are you familiar with FIFA? - No. - Oh, well, anyway. If I can get a team of the
season card in these 200K packs, will you give me a yes? - [Simon] That's impressive. - [Tobi] Very impressive. - It is very impressive. - Did you say 200? - Well, there's 200K packs I can open, and if I can get a team of
the season in either of them. - There's two of the
packs. There's two packs. - It's quite hard packs
- Oh, okay. There's two 100K pack, yeah. - Yeah. - And then, what do I have to do? - Well, if I get a blue
card, you have to say yes, but it's very unlikely, at the moment. - Alright, I'll take the chance. - Alright, let's get it, okay. Pack number one, here we go boys. - [Simon] Oh my god. - Come on EA, come on EA. For the love of god. (suspenseful cheering) - Come on. - Oh, it's not even a walk out. - [Ethan] Stinker. - It's not even a walk out. (crosstalk) - [Simon] Oh no, you've
got one more chance. - Alright. Oh, for the love of god. - There's no way Robin's
saying yes after this. Not a chance. - Nah nah nah, I'm telling
you I'm about to get Zaha. Alright. Final pack, here we go. 100,000 coins. (suspenseful cheering) - [Simon] Ay, you guys are right man. You had an absolute nightmare. - It's going to have to be a no, sorry. - Yeah, that's fair enough. I got Joel Matip. Alright, never mind, alright. - Hi. My name is Modern Warfare on PC. Can I crash at your place? (laughter) - That was a bit forwards. - I'm Modern Warfare on
PC, what do you expect? - I'm sorry, it's going
to have to be a no. - Hi, I'm Sammy. I'm 24, I'm from London. - Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27. You must be really good at art, because you've drawn my attention. (groans and sighs) - See, that is pretty cheesy, considering I'm actually an artist, so.. - Maybe I just knew. - [Simon] Lickle bush research. - I don't know if I
should feel a bit like, freaked out that you just guessed my job. - (whispering) He's a stalker. - Yeah, go on then. (cheering) - Hi, my name's Vik, I'm 24, and I won 20,000 dollars last night. - Jeez, my guy. (cheering) - Warzone Wednesday! - So if I say yes, where are you going to
take me out on a date then? - We're in lockdown, but. - Oh, that's true. I meant like after lockdown. - Oh, Dubai's quite fun. - (cheering) Jeez! My guy!
- Baller. - Oh, I don't know. - We could look at art. We can go to like an art gallery. (laughter) - Just because I love Dubai, go on, yeah. I like Dubai. - Hi, I'm JJ, I'm 26. I have a top 10 single this week. - Doing like, what? - Music. - Yeah, but like what kind of music? - Rap. - Hmm. - What do you mean huh, like? - Why don't you make a
freestlye about Sammy? - Go on then, yeah. - [Harry] Oh, yes mate. (laughter) - Yo Sammy You're looking kinda thrill. Do you wanna get fucked by a drill? - Wow, that's classy. (loud drilling noise) - [Tobi] Oh my god. - What? I don't know whether to be like, offended by that, or to be impressed that
you've got a drill. - If anything, I think
that you would enjoy this. - [Simon] Oh my god. - Okay, no, that's just scaring me. - Nah, nah, nah, just a
little bit, just a little bit. - No, no, no, no. - It's like a buttplug,
but it just (indistinct) - [Rest Of The Sidemen] Oh my god. - Aight, I'm out, I'm out. - You're so out.
- Red card, red card. - Oh, sorry (laughter) I'm Simon, I'm 27. I didn't actually have
time to prepare a line, I was too busy saving this child
from this burning building. (laughter) - I'm very confused right now. - Well, I was meant to have
a line ready to say to you, but I was a bit preoccupied saving lives, that's what I do. Like a Marvel hero.
- You're a firefighter? - More like a superhero. - Is this because I've
got a Marvel T-shirt on? - Oh, what a coincidence! (laughter) We're just so alike. So? - No, sorry. (laughter) - Fuck this, man. - Hello, my name's Harry. I'm 23. Even during this global pandemic, which has killed hundreds of thousands, your smile is the most
contagious thing in the world. One sec, if I get (inaudible) (laughter) - Is it really bad that I
don't want to smile now? - No, don't say that. I didn't mean it Okay, one sec, here we go. For fucks sake. Oh nevermind, sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry, I've
messed this whole thing up. - I think you should just walk away. Yeah, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. - Yo, I'm Tobi. I'm 27, and I would offer you a raisin, but I just ran out, so how about a date instead? - Why raisins? - Oh, nevermind, nevermind. (laughter) - [JJ] Oh, no, it went over her head. - Hello, I'm Ethan. I'm 24, from London, and I like my women like COVID-19, breathtaking and easy to spread. - Oh, my! - You were doing well
with the breathtaking. - No. (laughter) - Alright. - Boys, we've had a shocker this time. - Hi, I'm Serisse, and I'm from Leicester, and I'm 21. - Hello - Hello
- My name's Ethan. - I'm from London and I'm 24. And are you a cigarette, because I want to put
your butt in my mouth. - Oh my goodness. Definitely not. Off you go. - Hi. - Hey - I'm Simon, I'm 27, and you should say yes to me, because if you don't, the puppy dies. - Aww, you wouldn't really
be horrible to animals, would you? - I guess it depends on the answer. - Well, yeah, you can't hurt the dog. - So I get a yes? - Yes, you get a yes. - Haha, yes. - Hi, I'm Tobi, I'm 27, and if I can juggle
this for seven seconds, will you swipe right? Come on, do you want to see some juggling? - 10 seconds
- 10 seconds? - 10 seconds. - You got this. - Lord have mercy, I
only practised for seven. Alright. Are you gonna count? - Yeah, I'll count you in, and then I'll count the 10 seconds. Are you ready? - I'm ready - Three Two One Go One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight
- No, no! - He did only practise for seven. - I told you, if you said seven, we
would have been good. - I'll give you another shot
if you can do eight seconds. One second more. Come on, you were so close. - Alright, alright. - You ready? I'll count you down again. - Alright, I'm ready. - And then we're going for eight seconds. You ready? Three Two One Go One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight (cheering) Oh, you did for 10. - [JJ] Ayy, let's go! - Yep, you can have a yes. - Imagine getting a yes
for lasting eight seconds. - Hey, my name is Vik. I'm 24, and I've got so much drip, that I can actually make it rain. - Jeez. - Ooh. I didn't like that line, so no. - Fair enough. - It's not a very good one. Don't use it in the future. - Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27. Are you any good at maths? - Oh no, don't test me. - Oh, but I need help replacing
my x without asking y. - Nice. That was solid, you know. - What did you split up with your ex for? - The equations fucked. (laughter) - You meant your ex
didn't you, like your ex? - I haven't got an answer. She's in the other room. - [Simon] Oh no! - No, off you go. Off you go. - Hello, I'm Harry. I'm 23, I'm from Guernsey
- Aw, he's outside. - So, this didn't work yesterday, but I am a big, bad, alpha male. If I can beat my little
brother in a fight, will you say yes? - [Simon] Oh no. - Come on, right. - No, your connection
was so bad, off you go. - [Simon] He's doing it anyway. - No, not interested in him, off he goes. - [Simon] Well you can't stop him now. - You can't stop the fire already. He can't hear ya. - No, I don't want him. - [Vik] What if he wins this fight? - No, definitely not. - If he loses to his little brother twice. - Oh, he's down. He's down, he's off. Nope, not interested anyway. - [Simon] You can't stop this. - [JJ] Oh wait, oh he's up. Back him out. (crosstalk) (cheering) - Alright, sorry. - Thanks for your hard
work, but definitely not. - Okay. - No. - Hi, well. I'm JJ. I'm 26. And here I am. What are your other two wishes? - What are my other two wishes? - Yeah. - [Simon] That made me feel ill. - [Tobi] He fucked up, you know. He meant to say you were a genie. - Oh no, that was pretty sweet. - What? - Yeah, what are your two other wishes, that's what you said, right? - [JJ] Yeah, what are your
two other wishes, yeah. - Did you really wish
for this guy right here? - No, but he asked me a
genuine question, so, yes. You're a yes That was pretty sweet. Good lad. (laughter) ♪ And I'm back like I ain't never left ♪ ♪ Take me to church, yeah let me confess ♪ ♪ Last year had a lot on my mind ♪ ♪ Like Tony Stark, couldn't
get it off my chest ♪ ♪ But now I'm back to back like I'm Ori ♪ ♪ Reborn, yeah, everything blessed ♪ ♪ Up in the ashes brings a new story ♪ ♪ Show don't tell, imma ace this test ♪ ♪ Last year, 100k on the AdSense ♪ ♪ Your channel ain't even got ads, yeah ♪ ♪ Now I'm suited up like I'm Brosnan ♪ ♪ Come pierce this bubble ♪
