- [Announcer] And we're back with yet another blind dating video. Just repeatedly beating this dead horse. Actually that's gonna be
the discount code today: DEADHORSE. Anyway, the Sidemen are back again, with another dating video. These are the seat numbers
for your viewing pleasure, and let's begin. - Hi, my name is Katerina. I'm 27 years old, and I'm from Hertfordshire. Question number one, if you could lick anything in the world, what would you lick? And boy number one? - My own cock. (others snicker)
- Okay (laughs) - Hey, yo! - Okay.
- Please. - That's an honest answer. I love it, yeah.
- What? - Honesty is the best policy, guys. - Okay um, boy number two? - I was going for an orange Calippo. (group laughing) - An orange Calippo?
- Yeah. - I like the sound of that,
I love an orange Calippo. So I like that.
- Nice. - Okay.
- Nice, safe answer. - Um, boy number three? - Uh, it's quite boring, but my elbow. - Your elbow? Okay.
- Yeah 'cause you can't do it. - True.
- I'm, can? - Sorry, I'm literally just trying now. No you can't.
- Nice. - You can't do that. No, okay.
- Exactly. (laughing) - Boy number four? - Uh, an envelope and or stamp. - Oh, no. - See, I don't know why you'd wanna lick an envelope?
- Why can't you? - He said a Calippo pop.
(group laughing) - Why question me, bro? - I don't know why you'd want
to lick an envelope though, 'cause they don't taste very nice. Like the taste of them aren't that nice.
- You got to have envelopes. (group laughing)
- All right. Okay, boy number five? - Uh, Bitcoin.
- What? - A Bitcoin?
- Yeah. - You want to lick a Bitcoin? - I want to lick one Bitcoin. - Right.
- Okay. - That's three grand, ain't it? - All right.
- I know. - I think it would be
nice to taste what money is.
- Yeah, okay. - Boy number six? - Not you because you're
out of this world. - Oh, okay, okay. (laughs) (group groans) - Oh, okay.
(indistinct chatter) Um, and boy number seven? - Um, I'd probably lick KSI's Beerus chain because I'm a big Dragon Ball Z fan. - Right.
(laughs) - Okay, right, all right. So, the boy I'd like to
eliminate from that round is boy number one. It's just a little bit too crude. (group laughs and jeers) Like, you know, just a
little bit too crude. Like, we've only just met, you know? - Honesty is the best policy.
- Er, no. (laughs) - We all masturbate. It's just more conviction.
- Just a little bit crude. - What, what?
- Hey, yo. - Bro, bro.
- Yikes. - We're getting too far into the story now.
(group laughs) - That's your boy. - To be fair, you've got
to have a pretty big cock, if you're going to, like,
to be able to lick it. - That's what I said.
(group laughs) - I don't, I don't.
- It's got to be pretty big. - That's why I said, I wish I could.
- I'm just thinking. (group laughs)
(Katerina laughs) - Bye.
- Bye. - You've gotta first, you've
gotta reveal yourself. - You've gotta reveal yourself. - Oh shit, I've got to reveal myself. Hello, I'm boy number one.
- Hi. - Oh, okay, hi, thank you. (all laughing)
Thank you. Question number two, if you had to become an
inanimate object for a year, what object would you choose to be? Um, sorry, boy number one. (laughs) - Uh, you got rid of me. Just me and my tiny cock are out.
(group laughs) - Oh, sorry, shit, oh yeah. Boy number two? - Uh, Michael Schumacher.
(guy snickers) - Michael Schumacher, okay? - An inanimate object?
- Wait. - Berk, no.
- No, no, no, no, no, no. - You're a prick for that, yeah? You're a prick for that.
- Fuck you! - That was my hero growing up. You're a prick.
- That's just... - I don't get it.
- That's just... - Why Michael Schumacher? - Bro, he hit his head
on a skiing accident. He's been a fucking vegetable ever since. - Oh.
- Okay. - Boy number three? - I would be a clock in the bedroom of Michelle and Barrack Obama. - Oh, I like that. I like, that would
actually be a really cool object to be.
- Did you just say a clock? - Yeah.
- Yeah. - No, I like that.
- Why a clock? - Because I think they're
very motivational people, so, I'd love to see how
they talk themselves up in the morning. - Ah, no, I like that.
- Nice. - That's cute.
- Yeah, that's a good answer. - She got rid of me.
- And bang. (group laughs)
- You know what I mean, hey. - Uh boy number four? - A mirror, so people could
finally pay attention to me. - Aww. (laughs)
(men laughing) - People pay no attention.
(men laughing) - Do people not pay
attention to you very often? - No.
- Aww. - He likes Androids. - Were you not loved as a child? (men laugh) - Hey.
- Jesus, Jesus. - Don't take it that far. - (laughs) Uh, boy number five? - Uh, a period pad.
- Right. - I think it would be quite
nice to get down and dirty, if you know what I mean? (man groans)
- Okay. It'd be very eye opening,
I'm sure, for you. - Menses.
- Why? - That's mad.
(guys laugh) - I guess, I guess,
- Like that said, - vulva opening.
- a period pad. - Um, boy number six?
- This is fucked up (laughs) - Um, I would also be a clock, but for different reasons.
- Okay. - I'd have two hands and my
friends could still wind me up. - [Group] Oh. - Okay, all right. - Wow.
(Katerina laughs) - But you could still feel like a human.
- Dynamic. - That sounds quite dynamic. Um, boy number seven?
(guy laughs) - I would be an aeroplane so I could travel the world and fly. - Oh, nice.
- Is he a new person? - What's up with that? Who is he? - It's too early for him.
- I'll say this. (all laugh) - The boy I would eliminate, the one who said about the period pads, what number is that?
- Ah. - Boy number?
- Oh, you, what? - You liked, you liked that one, right? - Yeah, what number was that? - How's Harry got away with it? - Uh, that was number five.
- Number three, three. - Number, number three. Boy number three. - No, no, it was number five.
- Oh, number- - Sorry, number five. Number five.
- Nah, it's number three. - No, no.
(group laughs) - What number was it? What number was it? - Ugh.
- Five! - The period, period guy. - Hi
- Oh, hi. - You're all right? Oh.
- Yeah, so. - I would be her period.
- Oh, okay. - Watch me not be a period.
- No, a period pad. - Be a period.
(guys laugh) - You know what, you're gonna
learn like loads about women doing that, so.
- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah.
- Well, thank you. - Oh, okay.
- Yeah, a bit too much. - Okay. (laughs)
(guys laugh) - You bitch.
(guys laugh) You bitch. - If you were a DJ, what
would your DJ name be? And boy number two? - Fartin' Garricks. - Okay.
- Nice. - I thought it was a good one, that. - But didn't really make me laugh, but okay.
- Yeah, that's pretty good. - Yes.
(Katerina laughs) - Watch this.
- Boy number three? - I would be Osama Spin Laden. (group laughs)
- Oy. (imitates DJ scratch) - He's got to say my answer. Because the first Google
answer is that one. (men laughing) - I have another name, if you want it? - That's quite inventive.
- What is it? - Can you tell me?
- I quite like it. - Because I don't have an answer anymore. - It's inventive, it
is an inventive answer. (men snickering)
Um, number four? (men laugh)
Boy number four? (men laugh)
- Go on, go on. - S-T-DJ. - Okay. (laughs)
(men laughing) - I'm sorry, man.
- All right. - Sounds like a very contagious DJ. - [Group] Yeah. - She gets it.
(Katerina laughs) - Um, boy number six? - Uh. I forgot. (chuckles)
- What? - Is that your DJ name? - What DJ, what, if you were a DJ, what would your DJ name be? - Oh, he's choked.
- He's, man, he's choked. - Oh, he's choked.
- Oh. - Oh, he's choked. - It would be Throw-bee. - Could you repeat that, sorry? - It would be Throw-bee. - Bro? And your reason for that? - Because I throw. - The maddest parties.
- The maddest parties. - My guy, my guy, my guy, my guy, my guy. - I'm not sure about that, uh. (laughs) (men laughing)
- The whole time. - Why didn't I just bring out my phone? - The whole time, Jesus. - And boy number seven? - I would be DJ Star. - DJ Stark?
(men laugh) - The only thing worse than me. (overlapping chatter) - Oh.
- How are you still in, man? - Okay, um, the boy I'd like to eliminate was boy number, was it six? The one who really didn't have an answer. - Yeah, that's me.
- That one, yeah. (men laugh)
- The one who had no answer. - Thank the Lord.
- Yeah. - It just wasn't very inventive, sorry. - Hi, I'm Tobi.
- Oh, hi. - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you. (both laugh) - What's the funniest joke that you can think of right now? And, boy number two? - Um, did you hear about
the Russian politician, who used to be scared of the dark so he never used to go
to the toilet at night. So what he used to do, is he used to keep like
a box under his bed, and he'd, he'd, he'd shit in that. And he, uh, he was
called Vladimir Poo-tin. - (laughs) God, oh god. Okay.
- Sorry, I just lost. - It did make me laugh.
- I just got lost, I was just, - It did make me laugh.
- I was just zoned out - during that whole thing.
(Katerina laughs) - It did make me laugh,
- No, I can't, man, I can't. - but it wasn't that funny.
- Okay. - But it did make me laugh, okay. - Yeah, we'll take that, we'll take that. - He'll take it.
- I'll take it, yeah. - Um, boy number three? - Um, what did the farmer
say when he lost his tractor? - Don't know, what'd he say? - Where's my tractor? - Oh God.
(men laugh) - No, that's not it?
- Jesus Christ. - No, that's actually it? - No, I wasn't, I wasn't impressed with that.
- I'm actually embarrassed. - Oh, I messed up the punch line. - No, what was the punch line then? - No I messed it, it's
too, it's too late now. - You should have just
forgotten your joke. - Let me read,
- Okay, well, - can I read number five's?
- I wasn't impressed. Can I read number five's 'cause he's out? - Can you, sorry? - Oh, I can't read this.
(men snickering) - All right, well, if I was in, I would have said uh, this hilarious joke. You're going to laugh.
- How are you still talking? - What's similar between
a pregnant 12 year old and a foetus inside her?
(men groaning) They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum's gonna kill me". - Oh, now that's really
taken a dark turn, that has. I'm not impressed. - That's why number five's out. - Okay, and that's why I'm out. - No, that's just not- (laughs) - Everyone's just silent, man. (laughs) - Okay, what boy am I on? - Four.
- Four. - Okay, boy number four? - Uh, how do you make a pistachio nut? - I don't know.
- Wank it off. (all laughing)
- Lads. I'm so happy they get paid for this. (men laughing harder)
I'm so happy. - That was, that was quite
a good joke, actually. That was quite funny, I quite liked that. - That's my joke.
- I liked that one. - I liked that one.
- I thought it was quite good. - I made that up this morning. - Um, boy number five? Sorry, seven. - The funniest joke I know? Um, it's, it's me. I'm, I'm the joke. - Aww.
(man laughs) You know what? You need to start
bigging yourself up more. You can't be putting
yourself down like that. (laughing) (laughs) Okay, so, from, (laughs) from that round...
- This is a shambles. - This is a shambles. (laughs)
(laughing) - I would say um, boy number three. Um, it was, was he the one
who did the pregnant one? About pregnancy?
- No, that was number five. - No, no, that was somebody else. It was number three.
- It was number three. - That was number three.
- It was number three, - wasn't it?
- Yeah, but you read it. - Like you-
- No, I didn't read it. - But you wanted to read it. - No, I specifically chose not to read it. - He did the farmer one,
he did the farmer one. - Yeah.
- He did the farmer. - The farmer joke.
- It was bad taste, sorry. - You didn't like the farmer joke? - I didn't, no, I didn't. It just wasn't that funny. I like your hat though.
(man laughs) (group laughs)
(Katerina laughs) - It doesn't mean much now, does it? - I like the hat. What is something that I
wouldn't believe about you? Boy number two? - Um, I am Bangladeshi.
(men laugh) - Okay.
- I wouldn't believe that. - Is that on your mom's side, dad's side? - Both.
- Both? (group laughs)
- Oh, both. - Okay.
- Mad. - Do you go-
- Yeah, I'm both. - Do you go back there like,
on holiday or anything, or? - I have once or twice,
I have once or twice. It's quite a nice spot. - Oh nice, okay.
(group laughs) All right. Um, boy number three?
- Uh, it's a joke. - Uh, you just, you just kicked me out.
- Sorry. - I keep forgetting who's gone. Boy number four? - Um, that I'm not a virgin. - That you're not a virgin. Oh, that's really good to know. I mean, just for future, I guess.
- You wouldn't, - you wouldn't believe it
though, when you see me. - Yeah. (laughs)
(men laugh) Okay, boy number seven? - Um, I actually have, have a girlfriend. - You actually have a girlfriend? Oh, okay.
(men laugh) - How?
- Why are you on this, what? - What, what's her name? - Um, Ellie. - Ellie, hi, Ellie. (men laugh)
How are you? (laugh) - Hi Ellie, I'm trying to
steal your man. (laughs) - Okay, um, it wasn't the, it wasn't the Bangladesh guy.
- Virgin. - It was the next one.
- The virgin? - The virgin?
- Four, yeah, yeah. - Why am I still here?
- How are you? (men laugh)
- How is he? - Yeah. - He's just said he has a girlfriend? - I can't even
- I've just got - remember it.
- the strange feeling - Yeah.
- this guy's gonna win. - Number seven. - I thought he was quite
funny, the last one though, with the girlfriend. - Hello, I'm boy number four. - Hi, oh, thank-
- You, with the - Oh okay.
- Bangladeshi one. - Sorry.
- Can you? - Are you surprised that, are you surprised that he's not a virgin? - (laughs) Um, am I surprised? - Yeah.
- Yeah, that I'm not a virgin? - A little bit, yeah. A little, just a tiny bit. A little- (laughs)
- Wait, so that's, wait. (group laughs)
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - What do you think is
the worst way to die? Boy number two, yeah? - I think the worst way to die would be without meeting you first. - Aww, aw that's cute.
- It's just simple. - That's cute, I like that.
- Well done, lad. - That Bangladeshi charm.
- That's cute. (men laugh)
- That's cute, that's cute. Um, and boy number six? Seven, sorry, boy number seven? - Um, probably getting, I'd
say, crushed by a fridge. That would be a pretty,
a pretty tough way to go. - Yeah, that's, that's pretty dark, yeah.
- That's cold, that's cold. (men laughing) - Is it, was it just
seven and two left, is it? Oh, okay.
- It's the final. - Um, so, on that basis.
- It's the final. - Um, I'm going to
eliminate boy number seven. Um.
- Harry's won. - Is it, yeah?
- Harry's won. - The one with the girlfriend, isn't it? Yeah.
(indistinct chatter) Oh, hi.
- Yes, yes, hi. - Thanks for eliminating me. - It's okay, good luck with Ellie. - Thanks.
- Hope it goes well. (men laugh)
(Katerina laughs) - Go on, Harry.
(group cheers) - Hi, you're all right?
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. - Can you tell he's Bangladeshi? - Yeah, I'm not actually
Bangladeshi, by the way. - No, I gathered, I mean.
- Okay. (all laugh) - I'm just saying.
- Nice to meet you though. - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too. - Nice.
- You've got a date, man. - Yes.
(laughs) - [Announcer] Are you
happy with your decision? - Oh no, don't ask that.
- I am. - I am happy with my decision. Yeah, I'm happy.
- Oh. - He's got, he's got, he's got
like a boy-band sort of look. (men cheer) Boy-band, yeah, he's cool, I'm happy. - DJ Boggy.
- Nice. - Eh, come on.
(Katerina laughs) - Hey, my name is Emma. I'm 25 years old and I'm from Sweden. Question number one, what makes you cry? Boy number one? - Uh, really good sex.
(man snickers) - That's a bit sad, are you okay? - Eh, what? - That's a bit sad. - Sad?
- Yeah. - Nah, like, it's, you
know when you just have some good, passionate sex
and you're just there like, "Wow, that was amazing". Like, you know when you
both climax at the same time and it's just mutually amazing? - A bit romantic, maybe?
(laughs) Boy number two? - Uh, unlike boy number one,
I spend every evening alone. - Huh? (laughs)
(men snicker) - That makes me cry.
- Yeah. - Okay.
(men laugh) All right, I hope you're okay as well. Boy number three? - Um, Man United.
(men laugh) - Fair, fair.
- Yeah. - All right, that's funny. Uh, boy number four? - Uh, usually when I meet Swedish people, I, er, I start to cry. - What, why?
(men laugh) - This is a hell fire.
- What? - Oh, boys. - Would you, would you like to er... - Elaborate?
- Yeah. - No, no, it's just, uh, it's just, it just makes me sad. - It's a condition.
(men laugh) - All right, not sure
if that's rude or not. Uh, boy number five? - I, when I order my Nandos
wrap and I specifically say, "No lettuce",
(men laugh) and they still bring it with
a fucking lettuce in it. That's, that's, yeah, it gets to me. (men laughing) - Boy number six? - Uh, the film, Up.
- Ah. - Ah, that's a good point. - Miles from sex.
(men laugh) - [Emma] That's very, what scene, what scene is the saddest one? - The first one where the, well, I don't want to give a spoiler away. (indistinct chatter) - On the first scene.
- She dies. - All right, there.
- I think if you wanted - Are you happy?
- to see it. - Okay.
- I'm tearing up. - It is very sad too, though. - Boy number seven? - Uh, FUT Champs.
(men laugh) - That's real, that one's real. - I felt that.
- I felt that. - Um, all right. I'm a little bit, I don't like the thing
about the Swedish people, so uh, boy number,
- Yeah, you see? - who was it, four?
(men laugh) The Swedish guy, or the guy
who didn't like Swedish people. - Well done, Vik.
- Well done, mate. (indistinct chatter)
- You offended her. - Personally offended.
- I'll totally take it back. - I'm sorry. - You've got to start crying now. - Well, it's very-
- Why are you crying? - Hey, for real, why are you crying? - He just left her. (laughs) He couldn't face her.
(men laugh) - If you were a rapper, what
would your rapper name be? Boy number one? - Uh, KSI.
- Mm, mm. - Okay, well, isn't that already taken? (men laugh) - Wow, be inventive, bro.
- Wow, bro, fuckin' hell. - Uh. (laughs) - Boy number two? - Uh, MC Massive Hog.
(men laugh) - Way, oh, okay.
(men groan) - That's good.
- I was just... (laughs) - I like that.
(men laugh) All right, boy number three? - Inspired by 2 Chainz,
my rap name would be, One Very Expensive Woman's Necklace. (men laugh) - It's an inside joke, by the way. - That was funny.
(men laugh) That was funny.
- You wouldn't get it. - Yeah, I didn't get that.
(men laugh louder) But, I don't think it was very funny. - Ooh.
- Oh. - Boy number five? - Uh, Past. - Future, got it.
- Oh. - I got you, I got you, I got you, yeah. - See, yeah.
- What? - Nevermind. (laughs)
(men laugh) - It hasn't hit. - I thought that was, I
thought that was a good one. Round 14, all up.
- That was good. - That was good.
- No, okay. - Take that as a miss.
(men laugh) - It's 'cause, 'cause there's
a rapper called Future, so I'm called Past. - Oh.
- Yeah, yeah. - That is good, that's good.
- Thank you, thank you. - Thank you, thank you.
- I like that, yeah. - You've got to explain it sometimes. - Yeah, it's all right,
it's all right, it happens. - All right, boy number six? - I would be Little Booty Call. (men snicker) - Oh, all right, is that you, yeah? - That's me, yeah, yeah. - So, what, what stuff
would you rap about? - Uh, mostly, uh, the economy. (men laugh)
- What? - I don't think that would
be very good marketing. - No, 'cause I'd entice, you
know, the younger generation, Gen Z's, you know, to listen to me, 'cause I have a cool name,
like Little Booty Call, but then I'd, you know, you've got to change the world
- It'd work. - while hitting S.
- What? (men laugh)
- Oh my God, oh my God. - Oh.
- We need to go back to bed. - You know, boys.
(men laugh) - Boy number six? Boy number seven?
- Little Booty, oh. - Uh, Little Grey Hair.
- Oh. - Little Grey Hair? Do you have a little grey hair? - Quite a lot, quite a lot, not a little. - Maybe Big Grey.
- Big Grey Hair maybe. - I might change it, yeah.
(men laugh) - Mostly downstairs. - How would you know?
(man laughs) - All right, based on
that, Little Grey Hair, you're gonna have to go. - [Group] Aw.
- No. - I have no grey hairs
- The grey hair downstairs. - around here.
- It's not... - You're ageist, it's not grey hair. (men laugh) It's not downstairs, it's just here. - Oh no, that's cute though, but no, you have to keep it up there. - Okay, fine.
- Oh. - Sorry.
(man laughs) - He is 38 as well.
(man laughs) - You're fucking 38. - All right.
- Now. - Leave him alone.
- When you're down, bro. - Question number three, where is the strangest place
you've ever peed or pooped? Boy number one? - So, I've actually pooed on the shovel, when I went camping.
(men laughing) And the funniest thing was
that I threw it at my mate. (men laughing) - He did do that.
- So. - Oh wow.
- The funniest thing. - Eventful night.
- Mm-hmm, thank you. - Very, smelly.
- Smelly night. - All right, boy number two? - Uh, I recently ran a marathon and I had to shit twice in a field. - Oh, did, did that slow you down? - Um, yeah, a couple of minutes, kind of. (men laugh) But you know, nature.
- Nature. - Could you not do it, could
you not do it while running? - You got to do what you got to do. All right, boy number three? - Uh, when I was three,
I peed behind the sofa 'cause the toilet was too
far for my little legs. - I wrote that, you know, I wrote that. - Damn. (laughs)
- True story, true story. - You peed behind the sofa? - Behind the sofa. - Aw, or was it just a really big house? - No, it definitely wasn't. - But just little legs. - Little legs.
- Little legs, all right. - Should have been my
rap name, Little Legs. - Boy number five? - Uh, I didn't realise
it was a weird thing till the other day but, when I'm like near the end of the bath, I just-
(men laugh) Do people not wee in the bath ever? - Wait, wee in the bath?
- But you're in the bath? - Yeah, but like it's just, it's not like- - You're sat in your own piss?
- You're sat in your own piss? - So you piss on yourself?
- I didn't realise it was- - I didn't realise it was
this mad until the other day. - Would you gargle your own piss? - No, I don't gargle it, but, but- - What are you on about?
- Gargle what for? - What would you do that for?
- No, that bath water. - You put your mouth
in (imitates gargling). (men laugh)
- Why would you do that for? - What?
- This is getting weirder. (indistinct chatter)
- I never do that. - Just there with the, oh.
- What do you mean? - Number one and five are freaks. - I got put out for this.
(men laughing) - Doesn't sound very hygienic. - It's not.
- It's 'cause, no, I, - the urine is not, it's clean though if it's been through, no? Oh, no, it's not clean.
- No, no. - Did you clean afterwards?
- It's like on your body. - Oh yeah.
- He pissed on himself. - Now, he's bathing in his piss. - Mm, fantastic. - I thought that I was
graphic having grey hair, bro. - It started looking, it started looking- - I think we're so tapped.
- All right. - Boy number six? - Uh, I went to a museum and peed on a polystyrene Egyptian tomb. - What?
- What? - Why would you do that? - Why not? It's Little Booty Call,
he does what he wants. (men laugh) Put it in a song. - That and the economy. - Yeah.
- Yes. - Economy and museums. Um, all right, based on that.
- For fuck's sake. Number, number five,
the one with the bath? - Okay, it can get me out of this. (men laughing) - Outrageous. - Hello.
- Hiya. - Nice to meet you, nice to meet you. - Sorry about that.
- I'm, uh, it's not, - I don't pee often in the bath. - All right.
(men laughing) - Occasionally, occasionally.
- You found out recently. - I'm not gonna lie, I quite
regret that decision now. But, there we are.
- You what, what? - I quite regret that decision. - [Group] Whoa. - But uh, my own fault.
- I'm not gonna say anything. - Here we are.
- That's it. (men laugh) - Question number four, if you could be someone
famous, dead or alive, who would you be? - Uh, OJ Simpson. - Why? - Just to see if he really did it? - Oh, okay.
- Yeah. - Good point, that would
be very interesting. (group murmurs) I like that.
- That's good. - Boy number two? - Uh, the sperm that lost so
it could end this eternal pain. (men laughing) - Oh no, oh no.
(men laughing) - Jesus. - Boy, is this, is this a cry for help? - It's all right, Ethan, it's
all right, it ain't that bad. - Oh my God. (laughs) - Are you okay? Are you okay?
(men laughing) - Yeah, is his hand okay? - (laughs) God. - Thanks, man. - All right, boy number three? - Um, Jesus, for a guaranteed
ticket into heaven. - Ooh, okay. - I mean, aren't there quite a few people that have maybe gone to heaven then? - I want a guaranteed ticket into heaven. - But he got nailed to a
cross and stuff as well. - I want a guaranteed ticket into heaven. - All right, all right, you do. - Or you've just got to be a nice boy for the rest of your life and you will have a guaranteed ticket. - He is quite a nice boy, to be fair. - Yeah, you could just stop, you know, cheatin', doing drugs.
(men laugh) - Let's move on. - Okay, boy number five. Five, four? Six. Boy number six. - Uh, I'd be boy number five because you find them attractive. (men laughing) - I like that. That's a very good answer. All right, the Jesus guy. (men laughing) - The Jesus guy. - Hi, I'm Tobi.
- Sorry, just not - Nice to meet you.
- inventive enough. - Don't worry.
- Sorry about that. - God forgives you, it's all good. (men laughing)
- God forgives you. - All right,
- God forgive you - which ones do I have left?
- on that plus, man. - Question number five, what turns you on? - Um, you might think this
is kind of weird, but noses. - Noses?
- You're doing that again? - The thing is I actually
- This is, - do have a nose fetish.
- this is the last video. - Yeah, it's weird. - Everyone comes here
with some weird answers and you, you just use it as
an excuse to tell it real. (men laughing) - Hey, yo, dude, what are you doing? - Okay, noses. I'm not, I'm not sure how
that would play out in bed. But, okay.
(laughs) Boy number two.
- I'd like to, - okay, nevermind.
(men laughing) - Sorry. - Emotionally unavailable, toxic women. - Oh, okay, well, that makes for good sex. - Amen. (laughs)
(Men laughing) - Ethan, Ethan. - She's speaking that real shit as well. (men laughing) - All right, boy number six? - Uh, mirrors. - Mirrors, why? - 'Cause I see myself. - Come on.
- Really cool, bro. - Really? Really, nah.
- He's Little Booty Call. - Little Booty Call. - Little Booty Call's
gotta have the confidence. - Yeah, Little Booty Call, you're out. You and your economy and your mirrors. You're out, sorry. - [Group] Aww.
- Wow. - Wait till the recession hits. Hi. - Sorry about that, Boothole. - Don't worry, Boothole? - Little Boothole.
(men laughing) - Booty hole.
- She said, "Booty hole". - Number six, what game do
you dominate when you play it? - Uh, missionary. - Oh.
- That's not even a game. - Right.
- What? - It's the game of sex? - That's the game then, isn't it? - Yeah, it's I'm playing
the game, and I win 'cause I always dominate. - How do you win at sex? (men laughing) - Oh yeah, he comes first. - I come first. (laughs) - He's actually pretty bad at it. - Well, there you go, you
know, he comes first now. (men laughing) - I mean, you could have chosen
a more interesting position if you were gonna go down that route. - Damn.
- Oh. - Oh, you're hella boring, bro. - But uh, five stars for trying. - No, no, I, I like. - He's playing the game on recruit mode.
- I like switching it up. - Yeah, it's missionary.
- As well. - Like what it's, I like...
- He doesn't even know any. - He doesn't even know
what they're called. - No, no, no, I know, I,
- Keep them coming. - I know helicopter. - Why are you touching me, bro? (men laughing) - I know the, the,
- Tobi, it's the nose. - you know where the girl's behind and you hit it from the back? - You get pegged?
- When the girl's behind? - The doggy, the doggy. - So, when you, when you get pegged? - When the girl's behind? - When the girl's behind?
- No, no, no, no. - Not, I didn't get pegged.
- When, what? (men laughing) - You've only ever done
missionary, isn't it? - No, I know it.
(men laughing) - Oh, you had you baiting yourself hard. - No, no, no, don't do that. - You bated yourself.
- No. - Okay, it's "I love missionary". - That went downhill really quickly. All right, boy number two? - Uh, a good old thumb war. - A good. (laughs) Do you always win that as well? - Absolutely. - Okay.
- Undefeated. - Um, okay. But you know what, that
was two good answers. Good for two different things, you know. Um, but I will say the
thumb war, boy number two. - Yeah, for finishing.
- I choose you. - [Group] Oh. - I just won the thumb
war as well, by the way. - Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - Wait, wait.
- Oh. - Well, wait, no, fuck it,
you've seen me already. Hello, I'm Ethan.
- Hello, hiya. - Lovely to meet you.
- How are you? - Thank you for choosing me. - Yeah, and this is who you lost to. - Oh.
- Yeah. - I'm sorry.
- Yeah, I'm so sad. - But maybe if you
practised those positions, we can try it later.
- Yeah, does it hurt? - Lads, lads, the camera's there. - Yeah, I know, I know. - Hey.
- Hey yo. - Hey, so this guy can lose. Ay. (laughs) - No, fair play, man. - They're just too excited to see a girl. They've just lost it. They forgot they're still in a video. - Just point it out.
(laughs) - And we got a female. (laughs) - A female.
- A female with a nose. (men laughing) - [Announcer] Are you
happy with your decision? - Yes.
- Aw. - Ay.
- Done, dog. - I like how, I saw a little bit of like a hand tattoo going on.
- Gee. - Is there more?
- I, yeah, look. - A bit more?
- I'm willing. - I mean, let's go.
- Oh. - I like that as well. We like that.
- Thank you. - Hey, I'm Tara, I'm
25 and I'm from Wales. - Big up the sheep shaggers. - Oh, you fucked it, you fucked it, you fucked it.
- (laughs) I knew it. - I knew that was gonna,
- That was um, seven, seven, - I knew that was.
- seven. - That was boy number.
- That was number seven. - That was boy number.
- Number three, number two. - It was boy number six.
- Two. - Six. - What would your last
words be before you died? - Uh, mine would be, "Yo, you
guys want to see a dead body?" (men laugh)
- Okay. (laughs) Okay. Number two? - Uh, "Oh fuck, I can't
believe you've done this?" - What, you mean to yourself? Like saying it to- - No, to the person, the
person who murdered me. - Oh, you, okay, so you're gonna get murdered.
- Why are you gonna get - murdered?
- Yeah. - They haven't done anything? - I mean, I'm bleeding out.
- Ah, he's bleeding out. - I'm bleeding out.
- Bleeding out, yeah. - Okay.
- I got shivved and I'm like, - "Oh fuck". - Okay, um, to the murder of one. Number three? - Avenge me. - You thought mine was weird? (all laugh) - Um, number four? - Uh, mine would be, "Did you
get it on camera at least?" (men laughing) - That's cool. (laughs) Really, okay. Uh, number five? - I never expected it.
(men laugh) - Sorry, what did you say? I didn't hear that. - (coughs) I never expected it. - I never expected it. I mean, that, yeah, I
guess you don't expect it, depending on how you die. - You don't have to play the mean boy. - (laughs) Number six? - "Uh, come on then, finish me off." - What? - What are you, what?
- Is that what you'd say - How are you dying?
- to your girlfriend? - Okay. (laughs) - How are you dying?
- You kinda sound like - you're excited to die there, like. - Well, uh, I mean, it's, uh,
I'm caught in two minds there. - Okay. - So, I'm, I'm releasing liquid. - What?
- What? - What, blood.
- Bro. - And sperm.
(men laughing) - This guy is bear with, man.
- Oh. - Hey yo, kick me, I beg, please. (laughs) I've got some funny bags
for the next person. - [Ethan] You don't,
by the looks of things. - I trust, look,
- I trust. - I love, I love sheep.
(Tara laughs) - You know, I'm a big Welsh fan. - He shouted avenge, like
he went, "Avenge me". - Which, wait, which number
said about the sheep? - Six.
Number six. Oh yeah, okay, bye number six. - [Announcer] And number seven. - Number seven. - Eh, yo, wait, what?
- Oh, okay. - No wait.
- I'll take it, I'll take it. - You've got to believe me.
- Listen, believe me. - Stick with it, stick with it. - Okay, number seven, I guess it can't, your answer can't be
as bad as a sheep, um. - Um, no, it was gonna
be, "Like and subscribe". - Like and subscribe.
- Nice. - Cheers.
- Right, off you go. - Off you go. - I think you've already been chosen. - Yeah, I think still,
bye number six. (laughs) - Oh, six.
- I had, I had number- - I had three.
- What? - I had avenge me, that guy.
(men laugh) - Maybe if you grovel,
she might let you back in. You never know.
- Go on try. - Try and grovel.
- Try and grovel. - Please.
- No, grovel. - No, you just spat on the floor. - Oh, you just spat.
(men laugh) - He spat on me, he spat on me. - This is a rotter. - Hey.
- You're... - Oh, you're cute, but
still you tipped me, can't be as a sheep.
- But still. - So, bye.
- Go on, go on your knees. - You might be able to.
- Nah, nah, it's too late. - Try begging, try begging.
- Try, just beg first. - Beg first.
- Go on, beg. - You should've.
- Beg for the tintin. (men laughing) - Come, try begging,
you already spat on me. (men laughing) - For the tintin. - So, what job doesn't exist but should? Hmm. - Uh, I think the job, LEGO
sculptor should be a real, that should be a real job. - Oh? - I think it's quite important. - I think it might be a job.
- Definitely, yeah. - It is a job though.
- It might be at LEGOLAND. - I think it is a job.
- No, it's not. - No, they're not called LEGO sculptors.
- What are they called? - They're just, they're just-
- Master, - they're called master
builders, actually. - Yeah, that doesn't sound great. LEGO sculptor, that
sounds like you make art. - Mm, yeah, he sounds, okay, cool. Um, (laughs) number two? - Uh, personal arse wiper. - Personal what, sorry? - Uh, ass wiper. - Ass wiper? - Yeah, see when you can't
be bothered sometimes. - You want to do that for a job? I mean, okay. - I want to hire someone to do that. - (laughs) Wait, so, do
you want to do it? (laughs) - No, I don't want to do it.
(men laugh) - Uh number three? - Operational vibe checker. So you can find out what
people's vibes are like. - Oh, so okay, you're one
of those, nosy. (laughs) And um number four? - Uh, I'd say, a well-paid
sweat-shop worker. - Sweat shop. - Does it, it just doesn't exist, does it? - It might, it might do these days. - Yeah. - A sweat-shop worker that's well paid. - Exactly, so.
(men laugh) - Jesus, a sweat shop, I just
got a laugh here. (laughs) Oh what, oh, what a disaster point. - Uh number five? - Uh, the person who checks for food stuck in your teeth after meals. - Yeah, that's actually,
yeah, that's cool. I would do that. Yeah, that's cool, okay. (laughs) Um, number seven. - Uh, there's this YouTuber
called, Wroetoshaw, and um I think he needs
his lines cut for him. - Ah, you stole that
from QUIPLASH yesterday. (men laughing)
- Okay. - Callin' the banters fucking Friday, man. Oh my God.
(men laughing) It's flying left, right
and centre today, boys. - I mean, who said about
the LEGO sculpting? Was it number one? - Someone said about wiping your arse. - (laughs) Yeah, no, that's
actually quite funny though so I'm gonna keep that. No, I think the LEGO.
- Oh. - Fuckin' hell. - I think the LEGO sculpting
is not really a kind of a something, sorry. - Hi.
- Hi.(laughs) (men laughing)
- Only play, only play. - Go wipe her arse, bro.
(Tara laughs) - She can wipe my arse. - No, I don't want you to
wipe my arse, thanks. (laughs) - You can wipe each other's arses. - Ew, okay now, I feel quite (laughs). (indistinct chatter) - Nice.
- I'm sorry about that, dude. - It was really.
- I don't know. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's all right. - If you had to have sex with an animal, what animal would it be? I'm so glad I'm not
answering that. (laughs) Oh my God.
(men laugh) Number one? - He's gone. - I would have said Charles' aunt. - Oh, number two, yeah, number two. - I think I'll just carry
on being a virgin, thanks. - Yeah, good answer. Yeah.
- Nice. - Uh, number three? - Your mom, 'cause she's a right dog. - Whoa.
- Oh. - Yeah, I bet you'd feel
bad about living with me, now, wouldn't you?
- Oh, that is so bad. - You were going to get me and not him. (indistinct chatter)
(Tara laughs) - Oh my God. (laughs) - Okay. - After all the answers
you've given today. - We're out.
- Oh my God. - You've gone from like here
to just up here, I reckon. - Oy, Vic, you are savage, you are savage. - Oh yeah, that was savage. - That, is that what avenge
me, in the first round? - I say it's your mom,
'cause she a dog. (laughs) - Oh mom, it's just got my, okay. - So number four? Yeah. - Uh, can I just, is
a human not an animal? Technically, it is, right? - Cop-out.
- You said his was a cop-out. - A monkey then, a monkey.
- Wow, you weirdo. - Yeah.
- Well, it's close. - What, in the trees
- It's close. - it's fucking weird.
- Fuck in the trees. - It's as close as you're gonna get. (indistinct chatter)
- Oh fuck, no. - Um, number five? - Um, a dolphin, showing
me what that blowhole do. - But they enjoy it as well.
(men laugh) - Okay. Well, at least you chose an
animal like bigger than you and not a tiny little
monkey, anyway. (laughs) - But it's still a dolphin. - And number six? Seven. - Uh, this one's for
you, number three's mom. (men laugh) - (laughs) Thank you. Number three said about the mom, right? - Yeah.
- Yeah, bye. - He has to go blud.
(men laugh) He has to go, he has to go
blud, he has to go blud. - I apologise. - (laughs) Yeah, slap. Ah, this one's a nice one. What's the meaning of life? Uh, number one? Number two, number one? Sorry, number two, number two. (laughs) - Uh, fuck bitches, get money. - Yes, very basic, bro. - Right.
(laughs) Okay, I mean. Yeah, okay. (laughs) I'm glad, I'm glad to have all your meanings in there.
- Biggy taught me that one. - Uh, number four? - The meaning of life... - Are you looking it up? - The condition that
distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including
the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity and the continual change preceding death. - Okay, um, I think I got all of that. That was very,
- Nice. - a very detailed
- That was spot on. - answer.
- That was spot on, that. - Yeah. - Okay, number five? - Uh, Pokemon, gotta catch 'em all. - What, what did you say, sorry? - Pokemon, gotta catch 'em all. - Pokemon?
- Yeah. - Pokemon's cool, okay. I used to like have the Pokemon, is it Pokemon cards you used
to get when you were kids? - Yeah.
- It's like the, okay. - As kids.
- There you go. - Just when we were kids.
(men laughing) - I doubt I'd be like. You guys still got them
now, and I'm not a child. Number seven. - Uh, to navigate the
trials and tribulations that life throws at you, to one day die and it means absolutely nothing at all. - Oh.
- Huh? - Okay.
- Are you okay? (men laughing)
- Hey yo, Ethan, are you okay, man?
- What's happened? - What's going on, man?
- Are you all right? - Is there, is there anyone left? Is that, okay, yeah,
I'm probably gonna say, bye number seven. I didn't really.
- Oh. - It just kinda sounded a bit. (laughs) - Oh.
- He's oh. - That was too real.
- That's too bad, - Hi.
- because now I've got to go - and think about this
trial and tribulation and to know that it means nothing. (all laugh)
- Oh. - This one's going to be interesting, what's your biggest turn off? - Uh, when a woman asks me bare questions before even meeting me. - When women ask you what, sorry? (men laughs) - When a woman asks me loads of questions before even meeting me.
- Bare questions. - Ah, right, okay, mm-hmm. - He's turned on right now. - Okay.
- I hope not. - Turned off.
- Number four? - Turn off. - It doesn't turn off, all right. - Um, a turn-off for me would be if, if, she, she, uh, I don't
know, she goes, she goes, she has food stuck in her teeth. You know like that.
(men laughing) - Fair, fair enough.
- There's a job, - There's a job for that soon. - Harry, I have to admit, I never knew what I did this for. (men laugh) - Number five? - Uh, Route One Football,
it's ugly and unattractive. (men clapping)
Thank you, thank you. - So, number two said about the, um, asking, being asked questions, right? - Mm, yeah.
- That was number two? - Okay, bye.
(men laugh) - Oh shit.
- Oh. - I got hit with that, "Okay, bye."
- Okay, bye. - To get back up for that,
to get back up for that. - Sorry, I do apologise.
- It's okay. - Nice to get to know you. - Kind of.
(Tara laughs) - It's number six, if you
could make anything free, what would it be? - If I could make anything
free, what would it be? - Do you wanna win?
- Huh? - Do you wanna win?
- Yeah, can you come - and tell the answer?
- I mean, number four? - Oh yes, uh, female
sanitary products and tampons and stuff like that because
no woman should have pay to be
- Oh, see that. - with that.
- I was gonna say that. - All that kind of stuff.
- That's so true. - Totally agree with that. - [Ethan] You have to
think of a new answer now. (Tara laughs)
- Yeah, but I thought I'd be. - Big dog.
- Yeah. - And number five? - Tampon royale.
(laughs) - Did she ask for number five? Uh, therapy sessions for the poor girls that we put through these videos. (men laugh) - Um, I think I'm gonna say I actually really liked um, number four, number four's answer. - Come on.
- I thought that was kind of, - yeah.
- Nice, do it again. - Okay.
- Yeah. - So this is who you're saying bye to. - Yeah.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
- All right. - And the winner.
(men cheer) - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice one.
(Tara laughs) - Hey, fella. - Ah, he's all shy.
- Yeah, he's cute. - Nice son, seems like a nice guy. - Geez.
- I'll take it, I'll take it. (men laugh)
- I'll take it, I'll take it. (Tara laughs)
(men laugh) - I think we should end this one. (men laughing) (upbeat music)
