SIDEMEN GO BACK TO SCHOOL

[Music] welcome to your first day back at school uh first of all start with a big round of applause for vic he's been okay what we're going to do today is i'm going to be asking you all questions uh that a 10 year old can answer and we're going to see how you get on so i'm going to pair you all up because you're all done with [ __ ] uh you can't possibly do this on your own why are you doing anything it's just just me mugging what are you doing we're gonna go into pairs who wants to go together oh we've got a new boy stephen that's intense okay if anybody wants to peanut steven feel free otherwise stephen josh both hands in the air now do a little wiggle while you're down there great okay right are you gonna behave yourself i'm gonna have problems with you today simon i'll be home right jj who would you most want to be with actually out of these boys what's your name just like someone we boys [Laughter] take your shoes off give them to bubba dundee oh he's going to afford shoes why are you being such a prick about it come on josh what i need my team oh what you don't want to share shoes because he's not going to be ot never mind the fact that the lad is like poor and look at him he's gonna afford tattoos though do you know enough english to have that tattoo on your arm it's quite a complex word how many syllables does integrity have four [Music] okay jeff can you write your name on the board right who do you not want to be matched with you know the english alphabet you just can't put it together right there me why are you just looking at your hands oh i've got calluses right schooling okay we are going to pair you up with [ __ ] on the end okay uh ethan we're gonna who do you not want to be paired with um i don't care to be honest so carefree we're gonna pair you up with jj okay we're gonna put vic have you noticed this picture of josh if he shaves he looks exactly like that i was only taking two weeks ago josh you're gonna go with toby which leaves us vic and simon i got the nerd so i'm hoping that he'll bring you back down to earth a little bit now go sit yourselves down in your teams sit next to each other ready [Music] bit faster come on shove that down ethan's nose [Laughter] listen thank you toby you can sit back down again stop being such a [ __ ] prick right here is what we are doing we are going through a test paper don't [ __ ] tell me don't be such a [ __ ] grass right this is the test paper i'm going to be asking you questions from it and you are going to tell me the correct answers what kind of answers are you going to be telling me cyber the correct ones well done throw that at me again [ __ ] shove this up your ass yes please the first time to answer me a question quickly we'll let stephen try didn't get it thank you steven what is minus two plus four that'd be two phil who thinks he's got it right it's basic that mate he has anything he's got it right has he got it right i think so well done i'll give a point to you as well stephen harry you've got yourselves a point yes a butt tunde you got yourself a point now that's one for your two teams when you get to 12 points when you've answered 12 of my questions correctly that means that you can [ __ ] up that means you can go home and carry on with your [ __ ] minecraft or whatever if you don't get any right you stay here until you get 12 questions this is why josh has been here so long he's still waiting how many have you got john oh that's right none yeah thicker [ __ ] right where's my pen i don't know right over there these questions thanks nice to see you did you get that okay these questions are ranked easy medium and difficult the easy ones are year three and four the medium ones the year six and the difficult ones are year ten a little difficult right you might need a pen for this one now work out half of 1.65 10 to the power of four come on it's not that hard it's only year six what have you got in your mouth sing the national anthem do you not know the national what the world was there what are the words [Music] you don't want to put that up on the whiteboard do you didn't hear your question [ __ ] you feel that collect my belongings and bring them to me sit down josh stop kicking your table all right ethan ethan ethan excuse me right ethan are you ready this is half of 1.65 yep 10 to the power of four what vic knows you can see 1.65 you don't know the answer do you know the answer i think i do oh well look at the little nerd in the corner come on step what i think i know what the answer is yeah is it wrong [Laughter] what's the answer today water [Laughter] it's close it's close vic what's the answer it's a 8250 no 8 000 wait wait wait wait stand up oh yes this is your fault i'm sorry stand there [Laughter] in the face right what was the first answer you gave me for half of 1.65 times 10 to the power of four you've read you've written 165 on the board you sure that's right i think so yes yes yes yes he's got it right big round of applause if you steal from somebody who's too [ __ ] to get it right you get two points oh who got that wrong oh what ethan ethan anton day lose a point who is ready for a science question who would like to i got my only c in science let's [ __ ] go okay well this one i'm going to make difficult this is a year 10 science question and it's going to earn you two points if you get it right are you passing love notes to each other you're not [ __ ] discreet are you like you waited until i was looking at you before you passed the night two days you want to come and read this out for the class oh no that's not even a word you stand here you're not in a [ __ ] hurry about anything are you is toby he said he doesn't get a lot of food he's clearly had too much food look at the size of him this has been on the floor but guess what toby helping him out very nice sunday can you read this out for the class please i don't know how to read really can you turn around and read this for me no because it doesn't mean anything to anyone does it amazing completely yes it's a synonym of amazing what does a synonym mean simon uh another word for oh well done this says mr phil is a pusio is that good yeah i got your spit on my fingers that is just disgusting yeah go on for [Laughter] next question don't pass any more love notes geography toby and josh you haven't answered one yet have you didn't even do science this is your chance to prove yourself now josh are you ready to prove yourselves yeah yeah i'm going to get i'm going to get get through okay we're going to give you an easy one see if you can uh get through the class this year in which european country european is the costa del sol is that a fly yeah good if [ __ ] bear have been a fly which european country is the costa del sol inn just sounds like bank up in spain what spain espana just stand up no stand up answer with a little bit more confidence please espana spain josh everyone big round of applause for josh oh my god that's the first time you got one right okay you're right what is happening she's buying them you just checking on each other's sperm he's methane gooseberry what do you sperm tunde well sperm is uh actually we're gonna get stephen to answer this question in as much detail as possible stephen come to stand here sarah virgin i don't care mate you're gonna come and stand here and you wanna explain to everybody what sperm is it's a blackboard i don't see color okay nice yeah why do you say that looking at me you're in my eyesight come on sperm is what i believe comes out of your penis when your uncle rubs it could have been the wrong person to ask that question too good answer stephen thank you sir in a non-sexy way you should probably come and talk to me in a non-sexy way sexy way here is one for harry right harry in harry potter oh who oh actually can we just take a hat off harry potter my new favorite student come and stand here please tell everybody your favorite magic spell oh harry potter in harry potter who owns a cat called crookshanks it's hermione granger thank you there we go [Applause] give me my [ __ ] pen don't throw things at me harry and stephen oh ah tunde and ethan why have you not answered any questions right yet yes sunday because you haven't asked me good point yes i have it doesn't have to put shoes today we're not going to give you an english question [Laughter] you sneezing no good i don't want to see you laughing in any of today's classroom okay thank you okay we're going to ask you a difficult music question right this is aimed at year 10. how is the singer giorgio quiraco paniyetu better known as in the music industry six nine [Laughter] what are you doing what's your mouth doing you're probably wanting food ethanol you feed him ethan you fat brick get some food out of you and be [ __ ] grateful now tell me the answer to my question is he a rapper no then i do not know then you know rappers do you heard of what does that say yeah exactly okay the answer who knows the answer to toby i was just coughing you know the answer no i was coughing know the answer i think harry knows the answer the [ __ ] do you want attention please please i beg you i beg you smells so good though don't please smell this squeeze the bottles [Laughter] are you selfish preg leave some for the rest of us i've been not drunk for so long sorry about that mate is it george michael it's george michael oh [Applause] who got that wrong oh [Laughter] no right here's it holy [ __ ] josh this question is for you the sidemen yoga video has reached viewing numbers of how many 7.9 million views who thinks it's higher or lower tunde and ethan higher or lower i think it's higher how many 8.6 who thinks it's higher or lower vic and simon i think lower how many i think eight point four higher or lower than eight point four lower how many how about 8.2 8.2 8.2 million views for the yoga video there we go that's the correct answer subject are the majority of comments on that video about phil there you go there's a point oh i put my hand up i put my hand up he'd give him the answer if i say put your hand up then you need to put your hand up if i say put your hand up just tell me the [ __ ] answer to my [ __ ] question right his breath stinks josh again you had a video out around the same time as a cybermen yoga video how many views has your x-ray vision video had say what i'm gonna do some options option a x-ray video you've had x-ray vision in a video that came out a year ago the answer is either a 24k oh 68k definitely second channel or c 76k it's a stinker either one yeah it's done well wasn't it mate what's the answer let's go b b even doubt middle out you're [ __ ] wrong it can't be 24k surely please it's not you're in luck mate don't you worry you're on 76 000 compared to the 8.2 million from a year ago okay granted there are seven of you so it should get more views however i put a video up a week ago [Music] are you trying to flex us already how many views has my video from last week gone with my 13 000 subscribers is it a 12k is it b 68k or is it c 210k 210k b 68k bro it's none of them it's 82 000 views josh it's probably not anymore if we've changed already it's probably changed already where's yours okay we are going to go back to some science toby oh sweet that's it questions in a row show your mouth yeah they're never always right but didn't they need are you gonna answer back in my [ __ ] classroom you're gonna tell me how to work my [ __ ] classroom oh god oh hold on come here disney weather in this old video come here put this on harry come and stand here did you kiss him and introduce yourself to a camera question in a goofy little voice um that one hello i'm harry and i'm the clown i'm assuming is that what this is now go back and find that video keep that on you're a [ __ ] clown okay yeah okay we're gonna go forward oh can you sit back down in your chair sorry sir you farted you deserve it okay tunde ethan soot is mainly particles of what 42. it's close here's dry feet it's close toby carbon yeah your teacher's pet who can tell me by shouting out in which english city is piccadilly railway station located in manchester what you didn't give us the point manchester there's two questions there's two questions in our own now wait what did i do you didn't give away you didn't know you did it right they're chatting because they're like they're just trying to get three points manchester right [ __ ] okay which country has the longest coastline in the world sunday africa vic shut the [ __ ] up if you don't know the answer don't put your hand in the air when i say you're here and you put your hand down that's when you tell me the answer you don't sit there with your [ __ ] mouth closed waiting for somebody else to tell yourself because you're too [ __ ] thick to know it yourself it's canada what trilogy did john donald rule write under a pseudonym what what was what what trilogy your ears are [ __ ] massive i'm shouting in the classroom my parents recently divorced them all [ __ ] how does that stop you hearing a question get my pencil case back back in your [ __ ] chair sir did you really break the lockers is it lord of the yes it's lord of the [ __ ] rings can we have that point please why don't you just shout that answer out because you asked mine is the point i said put your hands in the air you lose two for nicking somebody else's answer hold on simon wow dead needs points as much as he needs food at this point come on okay let's give this to tunde and ethan are you ready you might need to start writing stuff down [Laughter] you are wasting school property by begging for food junior how much this costs the school this book jerry trees were cut down to make this stuff so hungry i just want employees you need to start behaving yourself back your ideas up lunch time will come if you answer some [ __ ] questions ethan we have the question yes which carriage is conan doyle most famous for creating stephen thank you brother yes sherlock holmes sir yes okay hands in the air who yeah no what nickname what was the nickname of the spy scale that first went solo posh you're having to go at him for [ __ ] up and you're sat there giving me stupid [ __ ] questions like posh spice what the [ __ ] look at me baby spice oh my [ __ ] [ __ ] millennials man what old spice thanks for noticing i'll give you a point yes ginger spice it's ginger spice oh josh and toby you've got some catching up to do and the less said about you the better ethan all right so this is private is it yeah come up here come here read your notes stephen thinks i'm cute stephen do you think ethan is cute yes sir you need to get some [ __ ] taste look at his ugly [ __ ] face taste of what sir stay where you are stand next to him now lick his cheek this is degrading [Music] now i'm going to ask you what is 8.679 times ten to the power of four eight seven thousand well done george big round of applause for josh what yeah but don't worry why is saying what he's struggling to hear no no yes that's a little bit fast what's up hurry what's wrong what about an accident right science we're going to ask this question to simon and vic vic keep your [ __ ] mouth shut and you're not asking if it's both of us it's your team vic's not answering it because you are being crafty and just letting the smart one answer all the questions i've got lord of the rings you're gloating that you're doing so well yeah i'm not saying you answer a decent question so simon when cloning mammals from adult cells after the nucleus has been replaced and growth has started where must the egg cell be placed so clone can develop in the oven [Laughter] of what of the pusio animal what that was even what you haven't what i think you need to do some biology lessons what the [ __ ] is this [Laughter] you said in the oven the the woman the woman [Laughter] give me your water stab him even stab him please please please all right sit the [ __ ] down what's going on oh bet that cost you a fair bit didn't it can you say that anymore oh please we don't want more of those pricks okay ah mate helen's up in the air we're gonna do some quick fire questions when do you know the answer to the question put your hand down oh that's the new one what's the answer well they put my hand down it's up isn't it you just put your hands down i was itching my head bro your head is up there where the fudge put your hands down towards your head [Laughter] okay what is the periodic symbol for gold pick are you sure well done [ __ ] it you forgot to put your hands down smart any okay when atoms joined together to form molecules thank you what happens to their electrons dick they share like oh they share them they share at least a pair they share at least an electron you give like three different answers they get a charge why are we on science no close enough it gets the the answer which ocean surrounds hawaii it's the pacific yes okay [ __ ] that's coming into which sea does the riven isle flow oh the caspian sea no oh it's the mediterranean oh is it mediterranean mediterranean ah poppy cart oh we got one though yeah don't use language like that in my classroom sorry sir what did you just say sorry sir what did you say sorry no what word did you say poppy poppy [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] how many strings does a ukulele have four right over the place in 2003 in 2003 what did the pop group s club juniors change their name to s club eight correct top shaggers can i get the tally now please who's got can we get a point ethan you can help him try my best sir bottles of water are delivered to a shop there are 37 boxes each box has got 25 bottles of water how many bottles of water are there for what africa close ethan yep are you right you're just asking your penis uh yeah 925 sir is that how did you get that answer penis is so much smarter than me you got it right but you also cheated so jesus oh we've got we can lift these up okay 5 to the power of 4 is 625 what is 5 to the power of 6 what do you say what's wrong with jesus 3 125 what 3 000. oh sorry can you repeat this no mistake i wonder what do you want 15 750. it's close enough it's 15 625. so simon and vic ethan and tunde what is blue and red mixed together purple do you agree today you didn't give him a chance perfect um well dan you are on minus 13 points [Laughter] shout out the answer zero point eight times blank equals eight thousand oh what is blank ten thousand well done he literally said shout out okay shout out the answer what gas do plants give out during photosynthesis oxygen away i think it's time to can we leave we can leave we got one more yes if you get one more you can't [ __ ] leave now you're on 11 what did i say at the start of the class pick how many do you need to get 12. 12. you can't right one more right hard no yeah i tried okay if you say [ __ ] smart are you gonna behave yourself now what i promised sir you promise do you want your desk back no good what is the name given two solutions that conduct electricity harry and simon stephen why the [ __ ] are you not listening to anything going on in my classroom steve no it's just you know my whole parents divorce thing is what speaker like i wasn't listening so i was just looking at harry what the [ __ ] is this it's right it's three one two five the workings out what's this is this for a point sir do you to skip the [ __ ] out of my classroom yes please that's the end and you need to start listening to the questions what is the name given to solutions that conduct electricity um conductive conductor conductor that's two answers electrolytes well done [ __ ] absolutely okay [Laughter] are you going to drink that water yes i thought you were thirsty yeah take that off your [ __ ] desk when i come here don't you why do you bully me jeez how it's all switched no one likes a victim okay vic and simon if you're so [ __ ] clever who in 1961 made the first space flight i'm sorry oh yuri gagarin what were you going to say about some grommet why we can go oh well done we're free well done thank you sir no [ __ ] you we're free thank you sir well done wait wait go and drink as much water as you want get as much food from the vending machines as you want enjoy yourselves when we answer questions right can anyone else hear anything you didn't steal from the other team you only stole from us which of the following occurred more recently toby and josh the iron age or the bronze age bronze age do you agree yeah no [ __ ] i didn't agree i said i am not they won't know the answer have you taken points away iron age well done harry and stephen what is the most densely populated continent in the world oh asia asia well done nice mate [ __ ] droughts i knew that one you're halfway there it's a quote bomb pathway is also known as 50 50 josh [Laughter] that's your teammate tunde what have you got to say about that i think that was pretty [ __ ] shitty of him to do what are you going to say why do you have anything to say about that do you feel [ __ ] good about yourself ethan yeah don't [ __ ] waste it yeah it's cold sir tony ethan which author created the fictional land of narnia oh [ __ ] poo close it was pretty [ __ ] puke you're gonna give them the point you're gonna take a point away from yourselves yeah he looks like he knows it josh and toby you got an answer i volunteer harry's tribute i'm drawing that's pretty [ __ ] good thank you can i come and draw it up on the blackboard have you got chalk yes all right what if you can draw a satisfactory car that's being driven by kermit the frog oh i can't draw a camera the frog well you're gonna have to all right and he's going to be running over miss piggy that's not very nice can i answer the question now harry yeah what's the answer is it he need blighton who is he was so no no no oh [ __ ] hell yeah so i know the answer what c.s lewis she wrote something big did she write those she didn't write something she was a [ __ ] author of what she wasn't the author of narnia who wrote the horror book the shining oh i know that one you're right well done yes [ __ ] come on let's see what i call myself what tunde and ethan is an adjective yeah making a comeback if they get help before yeah [Laughter] how many lies does a limerick have josh the [ __ ] is that a limerick there was a young man called keith who circumcised boys with his teeth it wasn't for leisure or sexual pleasure as to get to the cheese underneath four eight it's the sixteenth it's a sixteen bar this is six seven i think it's seven five well that oh it's an odd number at least i can't even bother to take those points away oh you've stolen from us but no one else you're making up for it you're still gonna [ __ ] lose aren't ya with what nationality josh was the composer beethoven italian swedish good job it's doable ethan how many verses make up the national anthem god save the queen oh how many bars save can you wrap the national anthem for ethan to dance to you god save our gracious king long live ah noble queen god bless the queen send her victory [Laughter] how many has it got god so four i was just giving you the other three three please dad [Music] you got it wrong in which decade did the eurovision song contest begin go with that tunde you are going to have a face plastic doesn't grow does it know no buddy oh it's not a tree if you want some more crisps they're just on the floor down there do you want some more crisps okay it's in there open up [Laughter] right you feeling better not really what was it the 15 it was the 50. yes the question was no he was every year okay yeah since the 50s he said 60s and then that was too late [Laughter] is that complete that's all i take for killing simon as well there's no there's no comment though where's his camera he's driving yeah where in the car is behind the wheel okay why is he not green that's not a green enough chalk so you don't see color sir don't forget to point out uh yes in which year did america declare its independence from britain oh [ __ ] off america come on specific year what how far can i have a close can we get out within five who cares about america really pick it up 1917. i mean you probably all remember it america's only about 10 [ __ ] years old well it's not that he's going okay i'll give you within five [Laughter] you taking pictures of your balls oh not again no what what's the answer there i don't know well you're not very [ __ ] good at google 17.85 no let me guess let me guess well he's close 17 76. what bang on the money i got i got i got with a nine you're doing five though you're not as smart as toby though are you definitely toby and josh you're nearly caught up with harry and stephen the less said about tinder and ethan the better how many wives did king henry viii have oh yeah josh well and toby to speed up with your googling sorry at the time when dinosaurs existed on the earth's surface how many continents were there one one can we get a point if we say what it is how many years ago did the dinosaurs become extinct two million years ago said the are you king james you're still [ __ ] living look at him billions or millions come on there's millions through three it's a few million yeah three million what 40 million years ago 70 million five million how the [ __ ] do you know 11 million because i'm [ __ ] smart my dinosaur's even real 66 million years ago i said 70 million come on give me 66. i said 2 million it started with adam and eve what started with adam and eve the dinosaurs dinosaurs weren't there just human dinosaurs what dinosaurs are made up yes yeah so why are the bones there what bones oh god put them down for a laugh i'll take that seems plausible oh the original jelly sandwich i'll give you a point [Laughter] who was the first president of america shout it out barack obama george washington was it washington have a go with him are you right are you just monologuing to yourself in the corner what's going on are you giving a [ __ ] answer he just sat there muttering away to yourself i was conferring with harry sorry well he wasn't [ __ ] listening oh that's rude harry stephen yeah what's this shapes is it washington's maps what is a spam map i'm not sure sir is it just writing words is it mr f kennedy no [ __ ] is it you could george lincoln abraham lincoln thomas jefferson is it pete well done you got yourself an even number we're going to geography toby yes vienna is the capital of which country yeah africa there we go i know that one no no swearing in class please oh [ __ ] you two surprisingly are one away from leaving my classroom you two are [ __ ] worry i've been there eight times okay let's see if we can get rid of these two pranks from my classroom shall we go for a big one yeah man what is the largest island in the world it's an island is australian on ireland no greenland it's what what happens if i define an island say love island mate australia's not an island no you too can get out of boone get out it's close isn't it i hope no one's just going to make us do clean this up as well who's going first who's going to answer a quick question first is a green one first person to give me 10 press ups [Music] [Laughter] yes i can do [Music] sit down you don't get a point for it you just get to answer a question first okay in which famous novel does a character named fagin appear oliver twist oh i've got it that's what he hasn't gonna whisper it to you harry i think he's all over twist my self-esteem is to the fall that's not healthy i'm surprised you even came into the room with any thank you prick what shout the answer out is the best-selling book in the world seidman book the bible the seidman [ __ ] book glad come on yeah yeah the [ __ ] sidemen book please fifty shades of grey sir what is that not the answer is the bible i think did they sell that i think so yeah you get it free in the travelogue jeez you've got peas the side member i want you to stop plugging your [ __ ] in videos that i'm in is it chris md's it's not smart it's not funny no one [ __ ] wants it nobody wants your book ethan talk to the hound because the face isn't listening um by the time but what's upside down hey what was your answer the bible i think yes one more number three hold on you better get this one right what was the first harry potter book published under in europe harry i mean published in the publishing company or whatnot what name was the first harry potter book published under in europe harry potter and the philosopher's stone yeah bye sir well hello if you want to leave my classroom you're going to have to pick all of this [ __ ] up and tidy my classroom up do you want to leave no well i guess we're done here then aren't we so how many lines ton day does a poem called a courtesan have like tunde is going to know this come on give us a fair chance africa all right we might have to stop picking things up yeah i think you need to start picking things up come on wake up keep going ethan what about that dundee get up africa get up i want to do more questions [Music] i'm not cleaning that up as well [Music] come on get out just get out come on get out keep going oh that's right

Channel: Sidemen

Views: 26,674,843

Rating: 4.9196205 out of 5

Keywords: SIDEMEN, SCHOOL, PHIL, STEPHEN TRIES

Id: GS_GuSu2Hrs

Length: 59min 16sec (3556 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 16 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/BroxRo]

Chinese Niqqa

[u/najisabour2]

He said chinese nigga

[u/TripleTwent33]

BOYS HE DID NOT SAY THE N WORD. I promise you he said foetus deletus, Simon and vikk were just scoffing at the joke. Let's be smart here, would he really have said the n word? Harry? In a sidemen video? I promise you he didn't say the n word.

[u/Angry_Welshman123]

I’m gonna guess Fetus Deletus

[u/Milliesdmn]

I’m guessing the n word

[u/JacobYTmaster]

I think he said allahu akbar

[u/DoozeyDouche]

Everyone's saying Chinese nibba but I don't understand how that's funny. Or at least it's not as funny as what the sdmn made it out to be