r/Pettyrevenge Porch Pirate Steals A Box of Poo!

welcome to our slash petty revenge where an entire grade of students gets petty revenge against their school I have an inconspicuous dash camera in my car because I live the daily hazard of driving in the city yesterday a woman walked out in front of my car from the side completely disregarding the moving vehicle and the fact that I don't know maybe I didn't effing see her I stopped more than fifteen feet from her but came to a screeching halt because it scared the F out of me she came up and banged on my window I shouldn't have engaged at all but I cracked it and apologize for scaring her then started to drive off she continued beating on the side of my car and screaming at me chased me down to the parking lot and screamed that she was calling the police I hung out not saying anything until they arrived I gave them my info showed them the dashcam footage and was promptly dismissed to go about the day just this enough for me though I do wish I knew what happened to her then Darren 703 says this down in the comments I've had the pleasure of using my dashcam to my advantage in a similar situation the best thing you can do is let them lie to the police then once they're done inform the officer you have a dashcam there's nothing better than seeing the face of the person that just lied their heart out to the police as they realize they're about to get screwed by video and audio footage the outcome is even better when they're accusing you of committing a crime the worse the false accusation is the worse the fallouts single-party consents states are the best our next reddit post is from arrow kim okay so I've been living in this house for two years and the neighborhood is very quiet and saved so I don't have something to complain about except for the little bastard that my neighbor just got and for clarity Opie means a dog apparently his designated place to poop is right on my porch and I wouldn't care if the owner was just a little more considerate and cleaned up after her dog finished when I first started noticing the poop I cleaned it thinking it was a stray dog or something but then one day I was on the porch myself and the little bastard came out of my neighbor's house saw me and returned my neighbor must have noticed that her dog returned to so she went out of her house to check what had scared the dog and there I was we made eye contact and I nodded I had a feeling so I remain sitting on my porch for a little more and there she was peeking through the window to see if I was gone to let the little bastard poop on my porch after some time she finally gave up and put a leash on the dog to take him to poop somewhere else by the way she didn't carry anything to clean whatever her dog produced so yeah she's a disgusting person I was pissed not only was she aware of what the dog was doing but she was waiting for an opportunity to let him do it again I wanted to talk to her to see if we can resolve this but apparently communication wasn't going to work in this case so I decided I would scare her a little bit I was going to ask her politely but the landlord has already done that a few times and this woman just brushed it off my boyfriend got to my house just at the time my neighbor was unpacking some stuff from her car on the other side of the parking lot which is divided by a wall making sure that she was able to hear me I started telling my boyfriend that I'd seen a dog on my porch several times and that it didn't have a collar so I believe that he must be straight and I decided that I should eat the dog since it was culturally accepted in my country to eat them if they don't have an owner I then described graphically which method of preparation I should use and what ingredients I needed to add I said that all I needed was to wait for the dog to appear to lure him to my house and start cooking him I couldn't see my neighbors face but I would have loved to see it plus I don't see her dog around anymore okay that's a brilliant plan and if she ever goes back to her old habits I would just recommend taking a dump on her front porch our next reddit post is from porch pirate hater my area has a problem with porch pirates and the cops are thoroughly useless your camera isn't good enough to prove the thief's identity the stolen package wasn't valuable enough there's always some excuse for just letting it go at least one lives in my apartment complex but management can't even make a case for eviction without the cops being willing to at least say yeah that's our suspect so the problem only seems to get worse and worse every week today I got hit again it was a $5 package of sewing supplies it was left on my doorstep with photo proof but by the time I got out there it was gone now I'm sitting here in the middle of a crisis making a point not to go out to a store for anything I can wait for and some jerk-offs on my attempt to not get them sick as a golden opportunity for free stuff so I'm just sitting here thinking well gee that's rather rude but I wasn't gonna dwell on this I had chores to do namely my cat's litter boxes needed cleaning so I got an empty mailing box and got to work but there wasn't really enough to fill the box so I started thinking do we have anything else similarly awful around here and that's when I found my Jarrah failed sourdough starter I didn't close it well enough a couple of bugs got in and predictably ensued from there I'd been dreading cleaning that jar out for months I'd had it sealed up to kill the bugs and keep us from smelling it and I consider throwing it out altogether but it was a nice jar so I didn't want to do that I finally decided to get it over with and clean it out the jars in the dishwasher as we speak as for the contents they're finally going to good use and just to make it clear how I felt about this I left a little note with an applicable quotes keep the change ya filthy animal I put some plastic wrap over the top of everything to keep this spoiled bread juice from soaking through the box when I flipped it back over I opened the box from the bottom to keep the mailing labels intact let the note in there and here it is the first of possibly many lovely gifts for the neighbors sadly but also fortunately there's no way to share smell online so I'm just gonna say I've been in porta-potties that smelled better than the end result sure enough the package is gone then down in the comments evaluative complex has this story we've been doing some renovations which is leaving me with rubble and old wood I can't dispose of in residential trash and being on a shoestring budget but trying hard to not cut corners where it counts a dumpster is not where I want to waste money when christmas came around i gathered up all the expensive looking boxes from the blocks recycle bins xbox plays stations TVs laptops I've been cramming them full of construction debris I don't want to pay to get rid of after an hour on my porch someone comes along and steals it I've been finding this really effective our next reddit posted from stats Jedi this is a tale of petty revenge I did not commit but I got to observe and enjoy firsthand I picked up some groceries at a local market and was in the checkout line in front of me was Karen on her cell phone loudly complaining to the person on the other end about the lack of choices in the store and the lack of toilet paper during checkout she talked trash about the grocery store and its employees all but ignored the cashier and then stalked off in a huff as soon as she paid as the cashier began to ring up my groceries he noticed that Karen had forgotten to take a package of chicken she'd paid for barely raising his voice he called out ma'am you forgot your chicken he made a show of looking around and then said oh well I guess she's gone once I'm free chicken petty revenge chicken tastes pretty good winner winner petty revenge dinner our next reddit post is from wandering womble I saw a couple who had filled their trolley with toilet roll arguing with an elderly couple who had asked for one packet because there wasn't any on the shelves and they'd ran out those two were a right piece of work and being quite abusive to the elderly couple I went over to the elderly couple and told him to finish her shopping and then I would come and find them they'd go off and the butt hole cup will carry on what they're doing when their backs are turned I grabbed two packets out of their trolley go and find the elderly couple and give it to them I then went and found a shop assistant and told them about the butt hole couple being abusive to the elderly and when they get to the checkout their trolley is taken from them and they're escorted out by security this has made me extremely happy our next reddit post is from wiggle wagon years ago when I was a youngster just starting to make my way in the adult world I took a job at a machine shop since I was the new guy and a lot younger than the rest of the crew I had to put up with a lot of practical jokes as a type of initiation hazing it was all in good fun mostly so I went along with the jokes knowing that the guys would give it up after a while I was riot and after a few weeks when the other realized that I was a decent sword and they could me to hold up mind at the work they eased up on the teasing all of them that is except for one guy he was the shop butthole and resident troublemaker and while most people got along with him no one really liked him this fellow was bald as an egg without a single hair on his head and because we were an intellectual group he was given the nickname Baldy when the rest of the fellows quit teasing me Baldy doubled his efforts and his pranks took on a mean-spirited quality tools I needed would go missing or he would accidentally bump the emergency stopping machines I operated causing me to have to reset and reload the job it got to the point that his harassment was degrading the quality of my work and every time I called him on it he just told me to do something about it trying to provoke a confrontation so I did something about it I figured the best way to deal with this guy was to turn the tables on him give him a taste of his own medicine and make him look foolish in front of the other employees this was an industrial setting so everyone wore the usual protective gear hard hats gloves safety glasses the works at break times Baldy was in the habit of putting his gear in his toolbox topping the pile with his upside down hard hat when we broke for lunch I filed out to the break room with the rest of the crew then doubled back into the shop through another door I went straight to baldies workstation and filled the bottom of his white hard hat with at least an inch of a similar colored half-and-half coffee creamer I double checked that a casual glance at the Hat wouldn't raise suspicions then rejoined my fellows and had a very nice lunch break time over we all went back to the shop I hid around the corner giggling as Baldy geared up to start work he picked up his hard hat and plopped it on his head as he did so all that happened half ran down over his safety glasses and over his face in thick sticky streams of goo making him look like the guest of honor at a [ __ ] party he stood there sputtering and cursing at the top of his lungs while the rest of the crew gathered around him laughing and shouting encouragement Baldy always hated me after that but never mess with me again and no one called him Baldy anymore either he'd always hated that nickname but I think you would have readily gone back to it if he could because his new nickname among the crew was money shot our next reddit post is from 0.5 ratio it was a fairly normal public school on the smaller side lunches were only 30 minutes long there were just over a hundred kids in a single lunch period and we were all pretty tame kids at lunch we had lunch aids they were ladies who patrolled the lunchroom keeping an eye on us pulling the bad kids out to the office etc they would also check your lunch card before lining you up along the wall behind the cafeteria into a separate door that led into the lines where you get your food they would only call one table at a time to get food and the next people couldn't go and tell everyone was back and seated from the first they would snap at you if you made a mistake and if you lost or broker lunch card they would make you go sit down and wait until the very last of the other kids had gotten their food I was one of those who lost their card and had to wait 15 minutes and take the walk of shame here's where the petty revenge comes in one day the whole seventh grade class the entire lunch period decided that it wasn't fair to treat us like that and hatched a plan that Monday we'd all pack our lunches every single one of us who could word had spread to the entire lunch period by the end of the day that Monday lunch rolled around and the cafeteria fell silent tables and tables full of packed lunches even most of us who didn't pack stayed and sat behind with us we watched as maybe four or five kids got up to get the school's lunch the aides were visibly confused and angry with us and we hid our laughter through bites of our peanut butter and jelly and Lunchables one of the lunch aides called the vice principal he pulled out the microphone from the front of the lunchroom and got our attention to paraphrase he lectured us with this is not how you deal with things if you have a problem with the way something is handled you come talk to us this is a waste of food the lunch ladies put a lot of time into making this food for you and so on in the end it worked we were let up with or without a card after that we all knew our lunch card numbers anyway or had them written on paper we all ate our packed lunches in victory that day and returned to buying our hot lunches the next man what I can figure out is why didn't the vice-principal actually praise the kids these kids organized a very practical nonviolent protest they didn't hurt anyone they just let everyone know that they weren't cool with the way things were working and the vice-principal tells them that's not the way to handle problems what should the kids have done started a food fight our next reddit post is from Joe loves bacon before I start for some background I work at customer services at apartment lead and I'll say my hardware store practices the rule that says we reserve the right to refuse and limit any returns for any reasons very often with that being said a Caron slithered into my store with a water heater that was around 800 bucks she hissed at us I went to return it I asked if she had a receipt she asked why does she need one and I said to do the refund since it was over 50 bucks we would for sure need a proof of purchase she groaned and dug around in her purse and called me a [ __ ] etc she was already rude for no apparent reason I was kind of already in a pissy mood that day so I decided I'd have some fun with her being a butthole by being a butthole back to her when she presented the receipt I looked at the receipt to find any possible reason to deny her return and saw it it was bought at a store 50 miles away with items that expensive we normally ask the customer to return to the point of sale so I told her you can't return the item at this store you need to return this item to the point of sale which is the Riverside store when she heard this she hissed at me in anger something to the effect of no I want to return it here I'm not driving that far for a refund she proceeded to yell at me and my associates further calling us rather offensive names and whatnot until she asked for a manager so I got one but I made sure to call my manager who has the same mindset of denying returns just like me when my boss came he saw what was going on and he was on my side he told her the same thing I said and she cursed us all out and slithered off the hill as soon as she got to the parking lot we all began laughing that was our slash petty revenge and if you liked this video then hit that subscribe button because put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 557,613

Rating: 4.9410272 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, pettyrevenge, petty revenge, r/pettyrevenge

Id: -Sp5fO_steE

Length: 15min 27sec (927 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 18 2020