r/Maliciouscompliance Mr. Rogers' Revenge

welcome to our sloshed malicious compliance where mr. Rogers enacts malicious compliance so this isn't my story but my father's my dad is a now retired police officer which he did for 30 years over the years he's worked patrol undercover as a detective and as part of a DEA task force back in the 90s about five years ago he transferred to the local sheriff's department and once again returned to being a regular patrol officer if you don't know or you live outside the US sheriff's are elected as part of local elections during the 2018 election our local sheriff had reached the maximum terms he could serve leading to an open election the one who ended up winning was a person my dad was not the biggest fan of prior to his election officers could have a mustache and a goatee as long as it was well-kept and not too long but one of the first things that was changed was the facial hair policy the new policy said that facial hair could not be grown past the age of your lips but it forgot one piece of the original policy that was important the length so here's what my dad did to piss off his new boss he started growing a handlebar mustache it didn't it didn't grow past his lips but it was long enough that he could shape it with beard wax into a handlebar that was frankly huge the hymns reached to his ears when he didn't put wax in it well this policy change didn't just affect my dad many of the officers had goatees and were already a bit annoyed with the new boss so about another 10 officers decided to join my dad and growing out handlebar mustaches as well in a department of 25 officers almost half a rocking handlebar moustaches while going on patrol eventually the new sheriff decided that the handlebar moustaches were getting out of hand and finally relented and reinstated the old policy my dad had grown his mustache out for two months and I watched him quite literally cry when he shaved it but he got his favorite facial hair to be allowed again okay I'm trying to imagine like driving on the interstate and getting pulled over and two cops came out of the car and they're both rocking handlebar moustaches or or better yet you're in a high-speed chase and there are like eight cop cars behind you and suddenly ten cops pour out of the cars and and they're all wearing handlebar mustaches that would be the weirdest experience our next reddit post is from cheesy llama this is a story about my dad that happened two to three years ago to clarify both my parents are doctors in hospitals in a small rural part of my country yes hospitals plural one is a normal one the other was a psychiatric one because of that they're the only specialists in their respective domains in a radius of about 80 kilometers so if they want some free time they need to specify it long before like even two to three months for a day off basically we planned our vacations a year in advance so the hospitals could get substitutes in time now as we always did in September my parents had specified when they one of their two free weeks hotels were chosen and paid for it cetera et cetera almost a year later not even a week before our vacation was supposed to start my dad came home like a zombie the hospital HR told them that they didn't find a substitute so because of this special case which isn't special according to a friend who's a lawyer he had to stay at work for one more week and join us later we were completely bummed because of that but we weren't going to be outdone by that my dad brought the entire coat of the hospital home and we looked everywhere to find something that would let us take our dad with us there was nothing until my mother started laughing at the table and she showed us something she found out about a certain Clause under which when this special case line was used the work was treated and most importantly paid as the sub that basically means that you can dictate your pay as long as it's suitable for such specialists that means 700 to 1500 euros for a day of work double that if you're on call then double that if it happens to be a Sunday that's why subs were never allowed to be on call queue the malicious compliance my dad took every possible on-call duty for the entire week which he was forced to work the number stacked up fast one of these days was a Sunday on call my dad said that he was never more delighted when he knocked on the directors door to tell him how much he was owed they completely forgot about that rule and the director could only stamp and sign the approval while making a gaping fish face it came to almost 30,000 euros for a week's worth of work as the final nail in the coffin your dad should have said oh and by the way be sure to thank HR for me for giving me all this overtime that was really nice of them our next reddit post is from our gosh I was cleaning out my home office today and stumbled across paperwork I'd save for whatever reason from a sucky call center job I worked dead fifteen years ago this was an outbound sales thing and it was nonstop calls all day needless to say the job sucked with the constant talking though your voice would start cracking throughout the day if he didn't hydrate so I would bring jugs of water to sip on all day long this of course meant frequent trips to the bathroom I never abuse these trips because they were always three minutes or less but of course this wasn't good enough for management Oh No one day my manager demanded I get a doctor's note if I wanted to pee at any time other than one of my two regularly scheduled breaks I could tell she was convinced I wouldn't do it I scheduled the appointment and filled the doctor in who thought it was hilarious that this manager either one didn't understand biology or two was on a huge power trip he provided me with the most condescending doctor's note ever then Opie posts a picture of a doctor's note that was dated from 2005 to whom it may concern' this letter concerns my patient blank-blank requires a lot of fluid and tink while talking on the phone in order to avoid drying out in becoming horse when he drinks this much fluid he must urinate every sixty to ninety minutes please excuse these brief visits to the bathroom as they're unavoidable sincerely Greg luck senior MD needless to say she was not happy my co-workers though all may trip to the same doctor got similar notes pretty sure I were a speeding granite every time I walk to the bathroom after that that's why every doctor goes to medical school not to save people's lives but to make sure their right to pee is protected our next reddit post is from apocalypse Amy I worked as a bank teller the other tellers were all female our sales and service manager expected us to greet customers warmly the second they entered from across the Bank hello there hi welcome to u.s. bank it was even turned into a competition when he heard our notice tellers greeting customers he gave them a point on his tally Mike reading strategy was to wait for initial eye contact after they entered the building and began approaching my window then say hello in a friendly way and give a polite little head nod and smile this was apparently unsatisfactory I was talked to because I wasn't bubbly enough it was pointed out to me how well the other tellers were greeting people walking in how many points they had all accumulated and I was told I needed to be more like my female co-workers this sounded great in theory but I'm a 6 foot 4 290 pound male and I knew it would be easy to show them the error of their ways the next person entering the bank received a bellowing singsong II from 60 feet away with a dozen people in between to say that it startled everyone in the bank would be an understatement I was informed my polite hello and nod would be fine going forward then we get some interesting insight from dabomb down in the comments not sure if Opie's bank or other banks do it for this reason but I works as a teller and we were trained to be people as soon as they walked in the door for security reasons management one of people coming in to know that employees were aware of them and paying attention to them I think the thought was that it would deter potential bank robbers who were trying to avoid drawing attention your bellowing sing-songy voice would certainly be one way to deter robbers our next reddit post is from too tired to care I work in a popular discount store we get well-known brands for really really low prices and customers question if they're authentic they are there out of season or didn't sell well so on to the story it was early morning and not many customers were shopping I have a customer come up and this is the following conversation so I have this Calvin Klein shirt but the price tag fell off it's $10 that brand usually doesn't go for that price but I would be happy to check for you there's no more over there this was the last one well then I'll just look up a generic price for you I look it up in the generic price for designer tops or 21 bucks this shirt will be 21 bucks that's not the correct price I explained to her that if I go find one in the floor it would probably be more expensive but she insists that I do it I go unto the floor and find the same shirt it ended up being 25 dollars while I'm walking back to my register I watch as she takes a tag out of her hoodie pocket and neatly placed it between the clothes like it was there all the time oh I found the tag I scanned the tag and of course it's not the correct one and was pulled randomly off of some shirt I told her the price of the shirt and ring it up for her I thought this year was twenty one dollars that was the price in the computer but since she wanted the correct price and demanded I get you the right price the shirt is 25 dollars here's your receipt and have a nice day she snatches the receipt and stomps out never to be seen again then we have an interesting story from socks to beat you down in the comments many years ago I went to a JCP furniture outlet I found a bookcase that looked like it had fallen off a truck and been hit by a car really banged up next to it was a much nicer bookcase in great condition the sucky one had a price tag of a hundred and eighty-nine dollars the nice one had no tag at this store the longer something was on the sales floor the lower the price would drop I asked the salesman about the nice one with no tag he looked it over and found the tag on the top of the bookcase it's at 94 bucks I said sold and wrote a check I came back a couple of days later with a truck and a helper another salesman came over and said so you're the person who bought this one I asked if there was a problem and he said a lady came in an hour after I bought it and asked why it was marked sold they said uh because someone bought its she became very irate and asked how they could have done that when she was the one who switched the tags moral of the story if you're going to switch tags you should probably buy the thing right away our next reddit post is from tacoma chair I deliver home heating oil in a very rural and mostly flat part of the UK in my delivery area there are many large drainage channels or dikes in the local lingo the roads are often very narrow and single track and frequently run alongside these dikes separated only by a narrow grass verge no safety barrier anywho this one day in the depths of winter it was below freezing there'd been a light spattering of snow and there was a thin scum of ice on the water and the dike I just finished doing a customer delivery and was winding in the hose prior to collecting payment and departing my truck was completely blocking the road as there was nowhere for me to pull it off the road we're limited by the length of the delivery hose blocking the road is common and legally acceptable as long as we work quickly and safely so I was just waiting for the customer to finish writing the cheque for their oil when this large Mercedes car pulls up behind my truck and the driver immediately starts leaning on the horn and shouting and swearing and shouting at me to move that effing truck out of the way now my usual response when faced with similar behavior is to blank the swearer and pretend they don't exist being six foot three and 285 pounds helps keep most people at bay I ignored mr. shouting man and finished up with my customer the customer said to me ignore him he's well-known in the village for being a bit of a dick I said goodbye and got into my truck as I was putting away my paperwork prior to driving off I happened at Lance in the driver side mirror the same side of the truck as the Dyke and saw mr. shouty man storming up the side of the truck with a tire iron in his hand oh I think and immediately hit the central locking button locking myself in the cab next thing I know mr. shoddy man has climbed up onto the step on my door is hanging off the mirror arm with one hand and brandishing the tire iron with the other all while shouting open this door you four-eyed grun I wear spectacles for driving Oh the wit of this man Lowell Q malicious compliance he told me to open the door so I did but as I did so I kicked it open he lost his grip on the mirror arm and was flung backwards into the dike up to his chest in freezing cold filthy water I calmly started my engine and drive off as I left I looked in the mirror to see this guy floundering around chest deep in icy water dressed in a business suit I called the customer who had witnessed everything and happily they said that they would give me a statement to whoever needed one confirming I acted in self-defense then I made a fairly difficult call to my boss and told him what had happened and he said I await his call with interest no Bala King nothing when I got back to the yard that evening I asked my boss what had happened and apparently no call of complaint was made that day or ever well Opie clearly he didn't make a complaint because he had time to cool off our next reddit post is from Robin Hugh Gill my uncle's neighbors really hate him for literally no reason and one day he walked into his garden to find three plastic bags the heavy-duty ones you get dog food and cattle feet in lying on his lawn and he knew immediately where they were from since he only has one neighbor and the bags looked as if they'd been lazily thrown over the shared fence two of the bags were filled with leaf litter and the other was full of apples that looked like they'd been slightly eaten by worms obviously the neighbors didn't want to eat them my uncle let's call him flea does also some gardening in his spare time and he thought that the neighbors threw him their waste stuff for him to use so he went around to their house and asked if they were the ones who throwing the leaf litter and the apples they shut the door in his face without answering and at this point flea realized they did it maliciously because they couldn't be bothered to take their waste anywhere most of you probably know that leaf litter is great for keeping soil healthy and my uncle realizes this too and decides to make compost from the leaves to use for his onions he grows large onions for an annual competition don't ask after he has a bag full of his homemade leaf litter fertilizer he waits until one of the neighbors leaves for work then it goes out into his front garden and makes a big deal of spreading the fertilizer in front of the neighbor exaggerating every slight movement and noise with the apples however he decided to make in combination with his own Apple some sort of beer / wine / cider hybrid and he also made sure that at least one of the neighbors saw him using their apples throughout the process the drink was pretty good in the end if not a bit strong the icing on the cake for me though is when he neatly folded up the plastic bags and left them piled in the neighbors garden with a rock on top of them on which he edged the word more your uncle's liked the gardening version of Mister Rogers these people these people are trying to be mean to him and he's like well thank your neighbors that's real sweet of you to give me all this fertilizer feel free to bring some more over and next time we can share a glass of this delicious apple cider I'm so blessed to have such thoughtful neighbors that was our sloshed malicious compliance and if you and I maliciously complied then be sure to hit that subscribe button because I put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 849,227

Rating: 4.92204 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: p75368n2Lok

Length: 16min 35sec (995 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 05 2020