r/Comedyheaven · cringe!

i got a bulb for your dumb stupid idiot piece of crap loser turtle jeez mom we get it you wanted a dog but gosh what's going on everyone welcome back to easy peasy my name is david the baker and today we're going to be taking a look at r slash comedy heaven it's the place where good jokes go to die but i'm sure you're ready to watch the video so without further ado let's go what is my age if i was born in 1999 i was born in 1999 my age is 34. what the heck i was born in 1995 and my age is 25. that's your personal problem oh alexa said a bad word hold up 327 000 views hold up i gotta check this video out okay i have checked the video out it's actually at 700 000 views now and that kid is freaking adorable and if you're wondering alexa did say several bad words so i would check out the video if i were you too anyways next meme hello is this still available yes including everything how much yeah it'll be 100 i'm angry just just i'm angry i mean dude it's a hundred dollars that's a pretty good price mao zindong mao zindong was a chinese communist revolutionary a political theorist and politician he appeared in this picture this is such a strange sight it's like all the arthur lore that nobody asked for filling my pc with beans and hiring a repairman to fix it uh this is just beans inside oh that's crazy i wonder how that got in there bee wax i'm sorry i don't understand bee wax i mean he made it clear the first time i don't know what this guy's problem is if you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube well i think that'd be a neat noise yeah i beg to differ then beg whoa pikachu you took a whole turn i guess when people say i beg to differ like i guess they do say they would beg but like come on dude this is just creepy i'm 18 now and girls can't say i'm too young anymore i will screw everyone in this planet this is a little aggressive brian austin i will literally f you you better shut your mouth you better shut your mouth austin i'm gonna take you out like to dinner and then after dinner we're gonna go catch a movie and then after the movie we're gonna take you back to my place and we're gonna watch another movie so you better shut your mouth austin i will romance you down my hamster's butt cheek it's quite funny i mean it's kind of funny but what creeps me out is that you're taking pictures of your hamsters but i'm just saying it's a little weird ah yes it's almost scary how much these kids look like their famous parent 20 celebrity children who look exactly like their parents what monstrosity am i looking at here my doctor when i tell him i drink three liters of cement per day why why why would you do this eat this a chicken sandwich not that a chair okay uh thank you colonel sanders i don't know why you needed to tell me not to eat a chair but i mean i'm glad for the advice kind of you freaking weirdo my mailman every time i order another cinderblock every day is torture you know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold ah so true man so true your photo with the most comments of 2017. tyler this photo is from three years ago today it was your most commented on that year we thought you'd like to look back on it tyler i don't know what you were on but i should have been following you because if you're posting stuff like well whatever the heck this is it's worth seeing leave twitter for an hour and let your followers reply to this tweet with anything they want it could be a message for you a question a meme and then come back and see what you got one reply this was so cool oh that's kind of sad jeez how did this cow get like this i hate that there's no context here like that would really fill the gaps in my mind about what the heck is going on in this picture what is a suitable punishment for my 14 year old daughter she used my fabric scissors to cut tortilla wraps death judy come on grandma i wouldn't have expected this from you liz wheeler so churches are not essential but abortion clinics are essential okay got it yes because abortion is healthcare glad i could clear that up for you liz six hundred thousand babies a year would disagree with you okay i could easily win a debate against six hundred thousand babies post your pet and we'll give them a new name picture of a lobster you should name him dog not gonna lie a lobster named dog is pretty unique but why is hot pockets even doing this i love the drums what instrument is used to create it uh drum what country has the fastest growing population ireland it's dublin every year do you accept constructive criticism no nobody's allowed to make fun of my jokes okay you just have to laugh waitress what do you want me can i get 10 eggs uh really yes what kind of madman eats 10 eggs in one sitting that's not even comedy heaven that's just cursed 12 celebrities who share the same face with fictional characters number 12 daniel radcliffe and harry potter huh i wonder why thanks buzzfeed cause of the great fire of london the cause fire ladies and gentlemen let's just give a round of applause to google's search engine just ah what a fantastic job in 1999 japan redesigned its flag huh okay well i'm glad to see they made some real detailed changes look at him getting those gains not even proper form lol dumb baby yeah baby you even lift bro oh boy it's a it's a fortnite funniest compilation twerk on me to nadina oh so thick hunger emoji hunger emoji hunger emoji peach emoji i can't take it hunger emoji hunger emoji peach emoji uh come on dude you don't you don't need to be a creep stop creeping this person does know the comment section is for everyone right like come on man this is frank ocean uh no i i don't think it is slug eater i love eating slugs finally someone who's consistent with their views thank you slug eater me my life goals basketball frog i know man just when you think you're gonna get your car your money and live on a nice side of town there comes basketball frog it just ruins everything top 10 most fun cities in illinois i mean if we're being honest if i ever saw somebody with a face like this i would literally move as far away as i could types of furniture chair stool and ah yes chesterfield because all of chesterfield is furniture mickey mouse baby dead and gas explosion is this is this is this what kids are watching oh no what channel is this and why would anyone watch this this is this is terrible february 3rd peas on you come on return the favor april 19th how you been yeah just you know forget those other messages i was just being silly unless i have small hands bring them closer to you they're just far away oh wow you were right ah yes once again hand jesus has saved the day greetings from turkmenistan i have uncomfortable hatred for women jesus christ where did that come from i mean at least you're honest i cannot stop thinking about this photo my uncle shared on facebook with 100 unironic intent i will heal the philippines and the whole world amen yeah if only it was that easy as to share a facebook post saying that another figure will help these people so that you don't have to works like a charm the best strategy for defeating enemies is to reduce their health to zero while maintaining your own health above zero wow what an incredible hint this skateboarder just became the first woman in history the first woman in history can you imagine eve from adam and eve just writing her skateboard like i'm the first woman to exist actually it kind of makes the bible stories a little cooler i mean that's a weird title but let's uh let's just see what it's about there you've all been cursed whoever said diamonds aren't a girl's best friend horse something's not right about this shirt the people who designed this shirt clearly had good intentions but they weren't able to put the pieces together so we're just left with horse and quite frankly i don't know what to do with this information so there you go horse decided to pour the contents of a snow globe into a glass and drink it i'll keep you updated on how this goes yeah so i went to the hospital yeah i'm not surprised turns out you're not supposed to drink snow globe juice who would have guessed oh wait literally everyone everywhere this text conversation is related to doordash i am hungry your food what it is gone what do you mean what happened to my food well clearly if you were paying attention you'd understand that this person was saying that they're hungry for your food and now they ate it and it's gone so i'm sorry you're never getting that food back is it illegal to look up girls without bras please answer this this is not a joke the cops are already on their way to your house you sick little f immature geez okay man calm down why are you so mean to me cause you're so immature crazy frog goodbye world oh no apologies for the previous text it was incredibly insensitive yeah you think iphone five dollars i wouldn't even pay a quarter for that it works fine it's just cracked at the bottom i mean like how does this even happen how did you manage to do this to your phone like i would pay you five dollars just for the story don't do that iron man oh it's gta 5 gameplay videos wow they really do let anybody make an ad don't they coolest pistols of all time we got the desert eagle the magnum the glock the beretta and oh of course john pistol i don't know why he's in the back he's the coolest pistol of them all joker 2019 this actually happened to my buddy eric oh so you mean to tell me your buddy eric shot a celebrity and killed his own mother that's insane man spongebob boiling in a pot of oh okay is that the krabby patty secret formula maybe who knows it's anyone's guess that i mean it could be lonely pot of milk long way from jungle oh poor milk ape little does he know this will be his last bath i'm donating this kitty he doesn't get in the way or anything i just don't understand how he could have killed that big rat today was the rat tomorrow it could be me i'm just scared man i mean to be fair if my cat killed a rat of that size when it's so tiny you just gotta face the facts that cat is eventually gonna kill you we are out of plastic forks oh but we do have plastic knives though okay but why is that better chained kong prisoner of war you know i'm not gonna lie i don't remember this being a part of the donkey kong lore but i'm all here for it true scary stories abraham lincoln i'm watching this at night because i'm a brave president i mean it's abraham lincoln he was a president who died in a theater if he's already been killed while trying to be entertained this video serves no chance of scaring him hi i am paypal's virtual agent to get started simply ask me a question i am still learning so if i can't help i'll direct you to additional resources i got scammed lmao get wrecked and to think i wanted to kill you two times in this quarantine you have become my best friend i love you manuel ah these guys are gonna become the best of friends can you imagine entering quarantine without your friends really seeing you or socially interacting very much and then as soon as you leave quarantine you come out with a big pet rat and all your friends are just like ah okay lewis you do you comment a setup for a joke and i'll do a punch line what do you call an amputee barber michael i mean i guess you got a point everyone must enjoy this modern rice modern rice everyone must enjoy this modern rice like i get you're just promoting your business but why is it that we must enjoy the rice like we don't have a choice i feel a little threatened that's all i get it nasal congestion and post nasal drip i'm pretty sure this is what happens when horse girls get sick hey how was your night my what night all right good night i i just don't understand why do you have to put a meme to miscommunication like what's the point of this yes or no oh that's going to be a hard yes for me good sir what brings you on i want to call people and talk dirty here's a picture of my face totally my face totally a normal guy selfie face that is mine me at age 5 versus me now look at the glow up on this gentleman alright ladies and gentlemen round of applause toronto defense lawyers you can be charged with an actual offense for an actual activity with a minor under 16 years of age this is a good little tidbit but but why do we have to add the dog why are we dragging the dog into this dad i thought you'd like to know that i'm outstanding in my field yes this this is the dad joke we've been waiting for everyone all right me personally i haven't heard a better dad joke yet so this this is it jacquez do you remember this is the very first letter i got from you uh-huh it's my treasure dear jacquez i'll even kill you for giving me that fake painting get the f out of my town ah sweet memories a slice of pie is 2.50 cents in jamaica oh nice it's three dollars in the bahamas awesome these are the pie rates of the caribbean dang it i've read this meme before and i still didn't see the pun coming god did you know cristiano ronaldo is the only player in history what if this is like a meme from a parallel universe where he's actually the only player in the world like the only athlete left alive pokemon sword and shield i jacked off four times today man i miss her lmao no one ever plays sword and shield anymore because they both suck what an emotional roller coaster this person's going through police station 5 stars got arrested for not carrying my identity card treated me very well cells are spacious and clean the food was okay but rice for three times is a bit boring handcuffs were a bit corroded but that's okay it does the job right the officers are friendly too overall it was a pretty nice experience well i'm glad this guy is here to give his honest review because i know somebody else would just be like one star my cellmate beat me up seven signs you're getting better at rapping all right before i read the list can i just say who drew this eminem like the face is is so off-putting but okay back to the list one you wake up in the morning with original music in your head two it's hard to focus on conversations because you're thinking of rhymes three friends introduce you as a rapper four friends ask you to rap at random points of time five you find famous rappers you think you can take six you start cancelling things to rap seven people start asking if you have music for sale i mean all of these are great signs from a situational standpoint like your friends happen to see you and say this but like none of it's actually substantial stuff like coming up with rhyme schemes is easier having a stronger urge to produce music creatively blossoming into the artist you want to be like those are those are real things you can notice from an artist standpoint rather than a situational standpoint that's like hey you're getting noticed by other people because what's really important is that you know your own worth but hey that's just a theory a film theory and we have to move on to the next meme what is red velvet cake made of okay let's see we got cream cheese icing buttermilk ah dang it i forgot the red can you remove the guy in the background oh it's the famous photoshop guy no yeah that guy's gonna stay there okay i don't know if he's adamant about the guy just staying in the picture or if he's like actually it's too hard okay i just can't do it family guy role playing club i i didn't know this was a thing this is kind of cool all right let's keep reading the family guy role-playing club is rescheduled for 7 30 at ihop if you can come text this number but please don't curse because it's my mom's phone p.s we need a lois and quagmire we don't need another peter i'm already peter jeez dude okay nobody's going to take over your role as peter honestly if attending this club makes people happy then i just i mean go for it although it is a little weird how satisfied are you with this shared image i mean look at those eyes they're so charming and spellbinding and those lips pinker than peppa the pig oh me i'm very satisfied boyfriend is sitting by his computer eating sausage with wikipedia open to the page sausage seems a little meta to me but you know what he's probably just researching what's inside of the food he's eating japanese amusement parks urge silence on roller coasters ah yes um please scream inside your heart oh that kinda sounds poetic like shakespeare would be writing in his books like i looked to her and said please scream inside your heart by the way if any amusement park told me not to scream while i'm riding down a roller coaster i'd be like yeah good luck with that i'm screaming till i pass out sebastian sebastian is a character in the hobbit wait really little did we know sonic the hedgehog made a cameo in the hobbit police czech republic i believe that's what cr stands for i don't know hashtag ant smasher i smash 101 ants in this awesome game it's kind of odd thinking that people actually play this app like i remember putting this app in front of my cat so it could smash the ants and the idea that humans are actually playing this app too is kind of unnerving mom everyone have a great day dad why why because i care about my family so the dad just doesn't care he's like what you care about the family what are you some kind of weirdo in 2017 you listen for 525 600 minutes to one different song and one different artist along the way you explored one genre let's see top artist drake bell top song i found away and the top genre is pop rock i mean the level of consistency for this post to be true is it's outstanding and you managed to make it both sad and impressive so props to you my dumb grandpa gets a stroke while eating banana pudding and i mean sure you could call the ambulance and like get him help or anything but no you monetize the video and put it up so everybody can see all right that's the youtube rule ever wondered how big texas really is yeah me neither to be fair i also do not care how do you say that picture of you right now oh i just speaking in this just writing down what i'm saying it's writing down everything i'm saying [Laughter] oh this is this poor guy he he just looks so confused i don't understand the internet and i just want to go home this used to be the official photo of the wikipedia page theft let's see a guy standing beside a sign grabbing the sign holding on to the sign and running away with the sign i mean there couldn't be a better depiction than this this is just perfect what did you think of this video toast falling over i don't know five stars or maybe i'm not sure honestly i don't know why i watched the video there are two types of men in this world those who fish and [ __ ] oh wow popeyes no need to flex on us like that geez i'm trapped in the printer shop not a joke please send help i can only communicate via campaign posters oh man who who's gonna help my guy out here he definitely needs some assistance wouldn't it be cool if he like couldn't leave the printer shop until he won the election so much bullcrap on this app i'm so glad i can be a breath of fresh air of truth and actual logic let's see three minutes ago you said oh i'm not reading what you said i'm just go i'm it's there yes you speak for truth and actual logic all right with this comment right here brilliant father in need after nine-year-old son spent two thousand eight hundred dollars on v bucks ah man that's gotta suck losing two thousand eight hundred dollars but i mean just imagine all the things you can do with your v bucks please select gender are you male female or venezuela can you imagine trying to tell your friends and family this like mom dad i am venezuela oh johnny we always knew you were venezuela how old is wario wario can be as young as four and as old as nine i'm sorry but i can't believe a four to nine year old can have such a beautiful mustache and the fact that i described a four to nine year old as beautiful might actually get me in some hot water so you know don't quote me on that ingauck full waterproof mattress protector okay we get that it's 100 waterproof but is this really how you had to depict that i mean come on buy our waterproof mattress because you can pee on it i mean it's kind of tempting but it's also off-putting i am on weed effects this sounds like something a computer who just tried weed would say for the first time i am operating on weed effects hillary clinton whips and nay-nays on the ellen show why is this on comedy heaven this deserves to be on comedy cemetery all right let's not lie your wii is not a parachute you know what i respectfully disagree wishing well i wish to be irresistible to men oh man is that the still ms261cm oh my masculinity can't resist can't believe i spent several minutes looking up what chainsaw that was never again destinator he puts two screws in the power port and then connects it with copper wire i hope that's not real do not plug that in destinator again ha it works guys i think in reality he went through an electrical fire and he's just too scared to admit it well everyone that's my time i hope you enjoyed this episode of r slash comedy heaven if you did like the episode make sure to leave a like down below and support the channel by pressing the subscribe button and the notification bell to be notified of all our easy peasy uploads but anyways i'm your host david the baker and i will see you in the next video peace out

Channel: EzPz

Views: 79,749

Rating: 4.9399238 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/comedyheaven, r/comedyheaven top posts, r/comedyheaven best posts, comedy heaven, comedyheaven ezpz, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: EwgL8jkx7Wo

Length: 20min 11sec (1211 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 19 2020