r/Choosingbeggars Seeking Wife, DO AS I ASK, WHEN I ASK!

welcome to our slash choosing beggars we're free is way too expensive important context on this next one Opie used to go to rehab and he gets a message from an old acquaintance who was also in rehab hi how are you I'm blank I'm living with both my sons and I are like Tracy they wish head off can you help us in any way I know who you are okay can you help me in my son's who's your electric company Petco call their number I've done this with Central Hudson before and asked for a bill pay extension also I think it's illegal to shut off electricity in the coldest months well they did what's their number in your address I'll make a complaint as a cop huh no that's okay call the police then because it's illegal for them to do that whether you pay or not do you just need money for something else I wouldn't want your son's in the cold I got a son now and watching him be cold sucks well they said unless I pay $87 I'm beat can I get your account number I'll pay that by a phone call I called and tried to pay your bill but they couldn't let me know what your account balance is unless I have your address or account number so I tried send me 87 dollars and I'll pay and send you there was seeds disc app and down in the comments s what we were all thinking this is textbook how an addict asks for money manufacturers emergency of urgent need needs medicine food is freezing etc ask for money turns down any help that doesn't involve cash in hand no one whose heat is often the winner objects having their bill paid directly guys I need help I need a ps4 that must be pro for free it must be slightly used or unused at all and must be in good quality and must have three games with it fortnight spider-man and GTA 5 don't be greedy I really need it hey pal my band is very interested in having you record mix and master our upcoming EP how much do you charge huh huh dude it's almost one o'clock in the morning can this please wait until later in the morning 7:30 to 8:00 that's no way to speak to a potential customer but sure and one o'clock in the morning is not a good time to make a business deal I'll speak to you later I can't speak later I have work all day today how much for an EP with AIDS songs need prices quickly and you don't think I have work in the morning as well for a five-track EP I normally charge about 1200 bucks but because your band's EP is longer than five songs I'd probably do it for about 1400 can you please make us a deal into it for 400 we can include you in our EP and can pay you more in sales promises do not pay for my bills let alone my time the price is firm if you can't afford it you might have to look elsewhere we aren't rich you can't seriously expect us to cough up almost $1500 be lucky that the price isn't going up as it's now almost 2:00 in the morning and I have work in five hours I'll message you later this is BS you can't charge us more just for messaging you how do you expect local bands to hand over that much money that is so not cool dude what is not cool as messaging me when I told you to stop last warning what do you mean last warning huh bundle of sticks the price is now 2500 bucks you should have left me alone when I told you to and no the price is absolutely firm now WTF I'm calling your studio tomorrow and talking to your boss have fun with that oh wait guess what I'm the boss I'll hear from you later then this is BS we have labels waiting for our EP all I asked for was price if you treat your customers like this we don't want to work with you lowly you have labels waiting funny because I don't think I've ever heard of your band why don't you tell me the name of your legendary band my band is called blank and we do have labels waiting but I doubt you would have ever played in front of anyone thank you for the name I'll be sending these text messages to every studio and engineer in the area to warn them to not work with you I'm blocking your number now I hope your EP less banned goes far I think squat then [ __ ] part down the comments is his contribution I run a studio out of my house on the side and get messages like this all the freakin time we're called snow falls on my ever bleeding-heart yes two V's it makes it sound more like AG bro we have labels waiting on this EP and we're gonna be huge I checked their Facebook page a hundred and ten likes also each member of the band has a nickname instead of their real name on the page am I talking to buzz blood fart [ __ ] rag hatchet [ __ ] razor our Kevin for this next post this was posted on a flyer as in like a paper flyer and posted up somewhere no head games are BS single white male fifty seeking single white Asian Hispanic European or Middle Eastern female legal age to 30 to be my wife and have my children and if you're wondering which ethnic group is excluded here it's black people so what he really means to say is just no black people prefer a brunette or redhead petite under a hundred and forty pounds five feet to 5 feet 9 inches tall no drug addicts no horse no [ __ ] my idea of a [ __ ] is any woman by the age of 30 who has had more than five sexual partners I will not have any female who has passionately hugged a black person no exceptions preferably a virgin she will stay by my side or at home even when I'm at work if she wishes to work she can do so from home or by my side if she wishes to go out she will do so with me by her side I will not put up with a so called girls night out where she can F around on me she will have to earn my trust she will only have female friends she will have no male friends I will not tolerate being lied to or cheated on she will be given a lie-detector test every six months tell she earns my trust she will do as asked when asked she can reach me at blank down in the comments just me here eight eight eight eight sums it up best he forgot must not complain about domestic abuse subject this would help greatly custom gaming machine love your website by the way hilarious and well put together I've sent a similar email to four other companies - the compliments on the website I'm looking for a custom bespoke machine for my startup company I like what you have but I want something a little different styling wise and graphics wise what I would like for the five companies in total is to design me a unique cabinet and artwork I'm not sure exactly what I want but I'll know it when I see it if I like your design you have my business and a horde of potential customers I say horde because my company name is blank and they will come in hordes believe me before you panic just know that I'm paying for this my budget is $1,400 I would like the following custom cabinet design full design wrap run sides 32 inch screen Sanwa buttons and controllers a good sound system minimum of an i5 PC no Dell systems the rest is up to you guys to impress me enough that I'll go with you the winner gets the business and all the exposure that comes with an exciting new startup company that already has 1000 followers on social media good luck hi no good luck hi blink well it's definitely a lost opportunity on your behalf may I ask why though no it's not yes you may well why I'm not sure if you're joking on off-the-shelf machine at the spec's you one is worth 2.5 thousand dollars you want us to spend a day or so designing a custom one for you on a maybe and you'll pay 1400s if we win your sucky competition can you see why I'm not doing the electric slide right now blank come up with another $1,100 Plus design fees and we'll talk about how busy I am and how I can't do it anyway Jesus man when a school closed down for two weeks a local pizza shop offered free food for kids due to the school closures I would like to announce at the next week Tuesday through Friday I will be offering free lunch to all students options include a slice of pizza side salad and a bottle of water two slices in a bottle of water a 6-inch sub in a water chicken tenders and fries or a large salad in a water it's not much but anything can help students can come in with family or if they're in high school a school idea is preferable thank you and please share if you can that's very generous and kind except it's excluding the rest of the people who also won't be able to get food will you be giving free food to the seniors whose meal programs are suspended also please consider all of those who cannot get their regular meals that's a really weird way to type I know you're trying to save starving kids but I don't care about kids I just want free pizza so you're still going then yeah I can't refund my train tickets so you said the reason you can't come out for blinkx birthday is because you're seeing that boy band and you're not going anymore so come you work full-time and don't need a refund it's like 90 pounds though and I really just wanted to get away you know don't pull that card again I swear literally every single time you don't want to come out you use your mental health as an excuse I get that you've been up and down for a couple of years but it's getting a bit old blank doesn't have any money for her own birthday and we need you there you bought drinks last weekend so we thought you'd come and do it again this weekend but obviously not I'm sorry all right but I've been looking forward to London since I booked it and I want to go if I could get a refund I would whatever I'll tell bling she's going to be so upset like honestly you're trying to ruin her night actually can't believe you a pop to London and see if you have friends when you come back can't even do one thing for us and now we're all gonna have a sucky night being sober cuz we're all students and can't afford our drinks and what if I can't afford to pay for all of yours that's BS you worked like 35 hours a week you dropped out of college literally have no effing life and you're telling me you wouldn't be able to buy drinks for us you know why I dropped out though why would you stoop that low so you got depression it's not like you tried to kill yourself or anything obviously not that serious and I think you're just begging but whatever have fun in London babes you're getting blocked and you might want to leave the group chat because I'm about to send screenshots and we're all gonna rip into you don't want you to see it just in case it pushes you over the edge crying well laughing emoji Oh Pia I hate to break it to you but these people don't look at you as their friend they look at you as an ATM did you change the Netflix password yeah who is this it's blank your son's roommate at Mizzou Blaine graduated last year why are you still using my Netflix account are you his new roommate in Chicago whoa nah he left his Roku with us I'll have to talk to him about that I never gave him permission to leave behind that Roku or let anyone else use my netflix account whoa that's cool can I get the pass while you talk to him and clear this up though no I don't think so I don't know you and I only share that with my kids sorry we were watching altered carbon can't we just have it until we finish I'm sorry but no dude no wonder your kid hates you you're a dick that's spelled why you apostrophe re f you Opie instead of correcting his grammar you should have just sent altered carbon spoilers hey man I just started up my youtube channel and I was wondering if you could help me out and design a youtube banner for me these are the design specifications I need I can't afford to pay you right now but I'll try to make it up to you somehow oh yeah blink told me to tell you that he sent me okay I don't normally do free Commission's but on account of blank being a good friend of mine I'll do it free of charge keep in mind I am very busy so it'll probably take some time before it gets to you great things I'll look forward to it I'll let you know what I have any updates on it then literally one day later is it done yet my youtube channel can't grow without a banner and at the moment I'm in a highly crucial growth phase I need a done ASAP wet work have you done I haven't been able to get any work done right now as I have another client who's paying me for album arts I'll get yours done when I'm finished with that project just be patient apologies for the delay I need it in my inbox by Saturday evening at the latest please get to work I'm sorry but I'm away on the weekend so Monday evening will be the earliest possible time that I can get it to you and that's provided I don't get any more commissions this isn't good enough man my patience is really running thin with you I need it ASAP please try to understand that I usually work for 25 pounds an hour even though money's tight at the moment I still decided to do this for free I'll try to do this as soon as I can after I'm finished with my work I'll get right on it you realize you're literally costing me money right you're actively stopping my channel from growing because of some low-lives paying you 25 an hour Sunday evening if you don't make that deadline don't expect anything from me in the future that is all oh so now you're withholding payment I was never gonna get really good strategy mate I am done with you your design skills are trash anyway as a professional youtuber I can say with full confidence that not having a banner will not hurt your channel but thrashing on people like this and it getting out into the public can her channel i would bet any amount of money that this kid has a fortnight channel with less than a hundred subscribers that was our slashed using beggars and if you like this content then let me know by hitting that like button because it really helps my channel grow

Channel: rSlash

Views: 754,164

Rating: 4.9524708 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, choosingbeggars, beggar, r/choosingbeggars, choosing beggar, choosing

Id: XjaFXQ7uBl4

Length: 15min 36sec (936 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 26 2020