r/A-holetax I Taught This PACK OF KARENS a Lesson!

welcome to our slash a-hole tax we're karma is Swift and expensive some years ago when I was 23 I bought my first house it was a small town home in a neighborhood of other townhomes about six months after I moved in my next-door neighbor whose house was physically joined to mine moved away and sold his unit to some parents who bought it for their college-age son they were from the other side of the state and there was a college branch campus just down the road several things quickly became apparent we'll call the son Greg one Greg had zero life skills because his parents were terrible too greg was dumber than a bag of hammers and wasn't going to graduate college 3 Greg had no common sense and even less consideration for other people I got along with Greg but in his first semester of school he managed to get the cops called out to his unit six times because he had parties every night of the week I kept asking him to just calm down a little bit but it never worked one morning I came out to my year old car to find the back bumper smashed Greg's sucky car had matching damage on the front when confronted he admitted that he was drunk and hit my car since he was my neighbor and I didn't want to make waves I stupidly got my car fixed using my own money because Greg promised to pay me back the 800 bucks it cost to fix it spoiler alert both Greg and his mother gave me the runaround I ended up calling his father who refused to give me his insurance info and told me that's why you have insurance and hung up the phone I was livid I ended up calling my insurance carrier and they were able to look up Greg not only did Greg's dad's insurance totally pay out but I later found out that Greg's dad almost lost his job over it as it turned out his father was an adjuster for a major US insurance company when they got wind of what happened they were pretty upset but that's not the revenge part Greg failed out of college three times and moved back across the state to live with his parents his folks were too cheap to hire an actual real estate agent so they put a handwritten sign in the front yard and had a local relatives show the house I just gotten laid off from my job so I had nothing but time every time I saw the relatives car show up I bro on ripped jeans a stained wife-beater grab a Miller High Life in a marble gold and throw in a set of plastic redneck buck teeth I'd walk outside and loudly ask the prospective buyer are you gonna be my new neighbor and then sip my beer and scratch my balls if that didn't listen to reaction I double down with something to the effect of would you like to see my gun collection slash meth-lab slash hooker the relative hated me and at the prospective buyer usually scurried away without looking at the house they started getting crafty and tried to show the house at weird hours hoping I wasn't home but I usually was and I loved surprising them after almost a year they finally hired a real estate agent and I did the same thing to her clients she actually showed up at my door one day almost in tears with a plate of cookies begging me to stop we ended up talking for a while and I told her what happened she lamented that the owners were the worst client she had ever had and she just wanted to sell it and be done already out of respect for her I quit and let her do her job they ended up selling the house eighteen months later at a massive loss not including their douchebag son's student loans Lowell then Opie had some more details in an update some things I left out when I say Greg trashed the house I'm not embellishing at all the place was only ten years old at the time and the previous owner had done a lot of work to sweeten the pot for the sale it had new wood floors Payne appliances and bathroom fixtures I was in there a handful of times and before he left most of the walls head holes the upstairs toilet was filled to the rim and had been that way for months the glass door in the oven was broken the floors were destroyed Greg told me he and his roommate like to play golf in the house and the concrete slab in the garage was being eaten away and smelled awful because some girl barf during beer pong and they never cleaned it up when he moved out his parents had to hire a contractor slash professional cleaning crew to fix the place up they tried selling it as is at 10 K over market value but that didn't go over so well these people were happy delusional I have no idea why but one of the times they showed the house they left all the doors and windows open for a week it was in the middle of winter my friend and I seeing an opportunity for more petty revenge bought a giant bag of cat food from the dollar store which we proceeded to throw in the open doors and windows all of the neighborhood strays and some raccoons had a nice feast that night the cleaning crew was back a week later the handwritten for sale sign got two-faced a lot I kept a bunch of sharpies in my garage and when my friends came over they'd write stuff on it sometimes they drew dicks other times they'd write stuff like only selling to convicted paedophiles the for sale sign had both parents personal cell numbers as well as their home phone number written on it my friends would prank call them constantly nothing threatening or illegal just annoying stuff like offering them a live baby if exchange for the house I used to sign the numbers up for spam phone calls I know for a fact they later change their home phone number but I don't know about the cell numbers wow they really should have just paid the $800 our next rider posted some suspiciously robotic my store sells scratch tickets and one of the types of scratch tickets we sell has three very special prizes where you can win $5,000 per month for five years 10,000 per month for 10 years or 20,000 Krone per month for 20 years that converts to about 500 USD a month a thousand USD a month or two thousand USD a month each of these having a space of their own where you can win them yesterday after a pretty busy day Christmas rush whoo an old woman came up to me with one of them while I was working the register the uncooperative customer walks up to me handing me her you scratch ticket I'd like to collect my prize of course let me have a look at it she hands me the ticket and I scan it in ah you won 50 kroner would you like to cash it out or would you like a no I went up five thousand per month oh let me double check I checked the card seeing that the prize section of the square she went on says fifty ah well you see the way this ticket works no I got two identical simples I'm getting 5,000 per month I sigh listen I can call the people we get our scratch tickets from I'm going to cash out my price elsewhere maybe someone else actually knows what they're doing the uncooperative customer takes a scratch ticket and leaves in a huff and I go to fetch the assistant manager explaining what just happened to her you already scanned it in yeah well that means she can't cash it out anywhere else because she's already cashed it out here so what do we do about that the assistant manager opens the register pulls out of 50 and hands it to me Congrats you just won 50 bucks man I would pay money to see the look on that lady's face when she goes to another store and gets told sorry ma'am this ticket isn't valid anymore our next reddit post is from Glee smack endo this happened today I work in a quaint wee pub slash restaurant in Scotland very family-oriented kind of place we make most of our cash money on food although we do have a wide variety of drinks as well the back ship started off pretty well I worked the bar so drink checks are put through by the waitstaff for table service usually before meals are ordered pretty standard for most restaurants I'd imagine now this table had been seated about ten minutes before I started my shift and had ordered one round of drinks for three wastes of oxygen a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and a glass each keep in mind that saw is our house white wine and is by far the cheapest at 1095 pounds and every bottle of solve is the same I'm almost a half hour into my shift and a check comes through for another bottle for their table piece of piss no problem on the train out the pass boom they order another bottle in three meals about 25 minutes later by this point each waste of oxygen has had about a bottle of wine and about an hour still no issues until they order another bottle for the table just as their food arrives waitstaff one takes over that's not the wine we've been drinking the wine we had looked much paler I'm really sorry about that I'll ask the bar to change it for you bear with me so the waitstaff bounces back with a bottle and ask for a change is everything all right no the lady said the wine they've been drinking all night didn't look like this said it was paler I'll have a look at their bill but it's been the same bottle going out their table since they came in sure enough it was the same bottle also they had the same bottle still sitting in the cooler at their Epping table these Karan's so the waitstaff takes a copy of their bill over and breaks it down are they happy do they understand do they get it they've been drinking that paler wine the whole night or so they screech the paler wine is our Pinot Grigio which is about 1795 pounds of bottle this isn't uncommon for folks to try and get away with a pricier drink for free or cheaper by claiming that's what they've been drinking the whole time especially after a few scoops what they seem to forget is that they're wasted and I'm sober the waitstaff attempts to explain that the SOB is absolutely what they've been drinking the whole time they've been there excuse me but you're embarrassing me and put me off my food so just get the wine thank you and throws our hand in the wait staffs face the poor lassie came over to me at the bar tears welling up in her eyes almost completely defeated after I've just watched all this I never heard what was said until after but I had a fair idea no effing problem past the check I went back on the till changed every bottle of wine they'd ordered to the more expensive one since they were certain that that's what they'd been drinking and ramped their billa by what we call in Scotland a metric F ton they ordered an extra bottle for after their meal and asked for the bill at the table I told waitstaff if there was any issues concerning the price to come and speak to me all three wastes of oxygen were boiling mad and came screeching over like their feet were made of polystyrene but were made to pay since that's what they've been drinking the whole time they've been there and even took the courtesy of showing them their previous bill again reminding them of the money they'd have saved if they just remained civil and not berated my staff it's the little things then a clap ham down in the comments as this excuse me are you from Scotland its Wales you idiots Wales oh my apologies are you Wales from Scotland our next reddit post is from for F sake I used to work for a large multinational in a one-man department the company was responsible for delivering the largest project that country's national resources company had to offer this is billions in revenues and tens of millions of dollars in profit every year the department was created for me I wasn't required in the project but the project manager knew me from before and just wanted to keep me in the team so he created this department in position fast forward three and a half years the project manager is now retiring and so is his deputy his deputy is the one who handles all commercial negotiations before the project manager leaves and the new one comes in he nominated me as a deputy project manager enter the new project manager or as I like to call him spineless racist bastard this guy hated decisions he was running a project with thousands of personnel and he would go weeks without a single decision every question from the 27 department heads would be sent to some committee for deliberations and demise one by one the department has started avoiding him and coming to me for decisions I had a very tough time balancing progress with perceived sabotage I would usually suggest a decision to bastard before he would announce it and take the credit things were moving and I was only interested in doing a great job at my new position and make record profits for the company a year working with bastard it's time for my first appraisal the appraisal goes as planned exceeded expectations numbers were up nothing to complain this meant I would get my annual bonus and a measly salary increment once the project manager appraises his reports they do the same with Ayres except that I see one of my reports had his appraisal done before I talk to him apparently bastard had done his appraisal without me in the loop confused I approached bastard about this and he wouldn't talk about it he would start talking tangentially as soon as I asked a pointed question ultimately I ran out of patience and time I went to HR and asked if this was usual I am pretty sure it wasn't not only did HR confirm this to be the first they'd ever heard of this they started connecting the dots for me apparently my direct report and bastard hail from the same company in a kingdom which is anything but united I knew they were countrymen but they were actually neighbors apparently bastard has been saying that my nationality shouldn't be allowed to handle so much money and power that it was their types god-given right to rule over us they referred to my origin country being exploited by his country in the past this pissed me off but it was all hearsay at this time however a couple of weeks passed by and I was notified by HR that based on my performance I will not be getting a raise this year and will only get 25% of my bonus I was enraged and went to bastard to understand what happened he wasn't there I went to HR they've worked with me for five plus years now so they know and trust me they revealed that bastard had made a decision to move twenty four thousand dollars of what I would have received over to my report and thus the appraisal rating and follow-up monetary decision given this I was very furious and I called up bastards boss in a different continent to her credit she gave me her ear and then said she talked to him about this and called me back she never did but next day bastard calls me and says that I should have talked to him first before calling the boss he also implies that he had full authority over this decision and his boss couldn't do anything because she was too busy as soon as he said this I said that I quit and won't be coming in again I put in my papers immediately and wrote in that I would pay him for my notice period if need be I also left the company phone a laptop at the desk and drove out the next morning I left the country when I left we were in the middle of negotiating a contract variation that would have given us two point five million dollars extra that year pure profits all discussions were done and it only needed the clients signature since we were very sure of it it was reported in our numbers as well fast forward three months I get a call from bastards boss begging me to come back apparently they fired bastard due to missing profits as the client didn't sign the variation order which was time-sensitive they wanted me to come back as Deputy PM I told her that I'll call her back and never did our next rider posters from pug nuts I was getting back into my car when the woman parked diagonal to me pushed her cart into the middle of our four cars and got back into her car to leave despite being merely 30 feet from the corral she left a six buck block of butter in her cart which she'd have noticed if she wasn't a butthole who leaves carts in the parking lot I'm currently using my free butter to make fancy grilled cheese sandwiches which some people might prefer to call Milt's yes I brought the card over to the corral I bet those are gonna be the most delicious grilled-cheese sandwiches Opie has ever had our next reddit post is from person dude I provide a service at special events our contract says that if we stay overnight we can charge 50 bucks per diem for food unless the client provides three square meals a day I don't frequently charge the 50 bucks per day because most clients have some sort of post event catered food then I grab a snack on the way home at a grocery store not a big deal this weekend I was working with a real gem of a human being who was petty rude and nitpicking my work I was truly proud of how it gone it been nearly perfect and people were saying so except for the client after the event people were leaving and it was clear they door dird too much food I went to grab a plate and help myself to the catered meal for over 200 people technically I should have asked but it's common in our industry for that food to be up for grabs at that point the client stopped me and informed me that food was for her step only when there were less than 10 people left really you've got tens of trays of food left over and you'd rather throw it away then let me have a plate fine I'll just buy food on the way home but since I supplied all my own meals and stayed two nights that's two times 50 bucks per diem a $100 butt hole tax that you would have avoided with a single plate of food that you already paid for it's a lot of self-control to put per diem and not butthole tax on the invoice that was ours a whole tax and if you don't hit that like button then I hope karma makes you pay the a-hole tax

Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,165,007

Rating: 4.915761 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, asshole tax, r/assholetax, butthole tax, r/buttholetax

Id: 4RDkE3c661k

Length: 17min 52sec (1072 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 10 2020