r/Choosingbeggars "BUY MY GROCERIES! NOW!"

welcome to our slash using beggars where people expect you to fund their lifestyle your cheesecake looked great on Saturday well thanks so much hope you checked out the recipe to recreate it haha what are you making next I don't know you have to be honest but definitely some kind of cake I'm gonna do regular this time no keto haha can I have it I mean if you live in or near los angeles and want to meet me in a public spot I'd be down I am in Georgia well I'm afraid that confuses things but if you're ever in LA let me know I can whip you up something can't you see a bit I don't know the rules about shipping food to be honest plus I just signed up to donate cakes to foster kids and I think I'll go with that for the time being but try out the recipe and make it yourself it's really fun you don't need everything you make I don't I actually don't eat what I make typically I give it to friends or work but this don't anything I want to try so I can keep baking liar you fat freak not watching you stream again yo this guy is actually trying to take cakes mint for foster kids how low do you have to be high navy run you have an absolutely beautiful amazing voice is it true that the gig is $5 for 60 seconds or is there some hidden costs regards yes it is 5 USD for 60 seconds of my vocals that's amazing I am happy to promote your gig on my Facebook page which has over 300 followers usually this promotion is $60 but for you I will trade it for only 10 minutes of your vocals on my tracks what do you think I am so sorry but I only accept payments in cash and not trades dang bud you really are one greedy son of a B let me know when you change your mind you ain't getting any orders with your current promotion level clearly you know what I lied your gig is due due and nobody will order from you ever good luck on here without being willing to spend anything on motion I'm sorry I couldn't help you thank you for the advice I just got my first three orders today by the way so let me see if I do the calculations it's $60 divided by 300 followers equals 20 cents per follower so if we apply this to my channel and multiply this by let's say seven hundred and seventy five thousand subscribers that means opie that you owe me one hundred and fifty five thousand dollars for promoting your business on my youtube channel please send the money to our /yt at gmail.com or I'm calling the cops one start terribly greedy I visited the park with my family partner and our two boys we paid 100 pounds and once in immediately waited in one of the queues for a ride 30 minutes into waiting I decided I didn't wish to waste my day in queues and left asking for my money back they refused to refund any of my money the most disgusting greed I have ever come across does this lady literally not know how lines work this isn't my story but when I heard on the radio there's this radio show where I'm from where a lawyer does Collins from people asking him to help arbitrate their cases my country doesn't really have a small claims court and most people are too poor to afford a lawyer anyway one case involved a man who forgot his iphone whatever was new in 2016 in a taxi and normally that mean that the iPhone was lost forever because pawning a brand new iPhone could make you more than a month's salary but the taxi driver was a decent person and found a way to return the phone so why was this guy who against all odds got his then brand new iPhone back calling a lawyer because it wasn't returned sooner yes the guy who forgot his iPhone and got it returned to him called a lawyer and tried to publicly shame the person who returned an iPhone an iPhone that I would like to remind you probably cost more than he made in a month because it got returned to him the Monday after he lost it he lost it on a Friday he claims that he needed it for work and that it couldn't a lot of his personal information but nobody believed him the lawyer tore into him on live radio and he basically got shouted down for being an entitled butthole so after reading the Astoria I spent like 30 minutes trying to track down the audio clip of this radio broadcast on the off chance that it just happened to be on English and online unfortunately no dice but man I would love to hear that broadcast of that lawyer ripping this [ __ ] a new one hey my friend told me you do commissions yeah I do cool what are your prices then Opie list out the prices I take half up front for everything but bust line arts I want a full body colored but 20 is way too much will you do 10 sorry but I don't do discounts the prices take it or leave it that is ridiculous no one's ever gonna spend that much for your sucky art I mean my backlog of orders might disagree with you if you can't pay for the full body I do colored busts for 10 bucks I don't wanna bust I want a full body I know but you can't pay for it you can pay for a bust can't pay for it Lowell I make more in a day than you do in a month jerk well in that case take all the art you want your majesty I had no idea I was dealing with such a high-class individual as you have you grunt I don't know why anyone buys your sucky art I'm giving you one last chance to accept my offer then you're getting blocked it's a note from me love have you grunt you sure do love naughty words don't you half off no you that's it you're getting blocked it's pronounced why oh you apostrophe re this guy is so incredibly rich and wealthy that he can't afford a 20 bucks something tells me this guy is a lying sack of doodoo who came straight from our slash I am very rich okay so I wouldn't a logo for my youtube take channa when I upload mostly some csgo and minecraft edits my username is blank so I want to have big black B with some glow and some particles flying in the background Sydney at least five logos that were differently made so I can choose it will be also for Twitter and Facebook Fanpage sure but keep in mind that since you want five of them it will be more expensive okay no problem I will pay more if you make it today I will try to do that ASAP but I cannot guarantee that it will be done today man please look I was planning to give you six bucks one dollar for every draft and one for making it quick that is my paypal now tell me yours and I will pay you seven if you make it really quick eight hello where the Freak you at I've spent six years studying graphic design it cost me over five thousand dollars to go on them I've also spent more than 2k on my hardware for graphic design and licenses of course and you are offering me eight dollars for five drafts yeah but it will only take you about an hour of your time $8.00 for one hour I'm sorry but that is more than epping good oh you are probably right I am sorry for the messages above I will do it within an hour smiley face that is what I'm talking about I was thinking about it $8.00 is probably way too much I will do it for 50 cents 10 cents for every draft a smiley face done I've really tried my best what is that this is garbage I don't know for 10 cents that's actually a pretty good logo to all the professional graphic designers out there Sydney the worst cheapest looking logo you can possibly imagine from my are slash youtube channel I will pick the worst looking logo put it in one of my youtube videos and send the designer $100 over PayPal so if you want to compete send your terrible are slash logo to our /yt at gmail.com friends come over to our house for a small dinner party and their thirteen-year-old son is complaining that he's got nothing to do I say hey head over to my home office I'll fire up my ps4 and you can play on it so I set it up for him and he starts playing I have a lot of games in my ps4 so he has plenty of options by the way after about an hour I go to check on him and he's grumbling to everyone in the room I wish this were an Xbox this thing sucks should be in the Xbox I'm done with this flag and say fine you don't like it don't play it give me the controller I take the controller and shut down the system and say there go be bored I then went to let his parents know just because they like to know when he's being a jerk to people he's been doing it a lot lately and both of them said that is 100% a ok by us he needs to stop with that stuff his dad found him in another room and said maybe next time when someone's being nice you don't doodoo on it just sit in that chair for the next hour until it's time to leave for a hot second I thought we were gonna take a hard right turn into our slash and title parents bill but no it's such a relief to see that there are actually some decent parents out there selling iPhone 8 plus for 450 dollars is it still available yes it's still available can you trade and meet today meet probably trade no cash only please bro I'm 14 I need a phone bad now but can't get gas for five did days well shoot me a message in five days then there's no way I'd let it go on good will please I need a phone bad I can't wait so you expect me to come to you give you my phone and hope in five days you come back and pay me for it I swear I'll pay you please I need a phone bad yeah eh I swear I'll pay you isn't gonna cut it come cash in hand and we'll talk nothing inspires confidence like I am 14 you can trust me I had a roommate once upon a time and this roommate had a friend this friend is are choosing bigger I had a regular job where I worked as a cook in a restaurant but I am very good with compute and software problems I know how to run Diagnostics remove viruses and spyware reinstall windows the whole works if it's software I can probably fix the problem and since this time I have done this for free for family only the choosing beggar approaches me so I heard you're good with computers that's right so can you like fix mine oh well I don't know I don't really do work for people I don't know I'll pay you to do it I just need it done on Friday you're home then right I am and it'll be 25 bucks an hour yes great fine choosing beggar brings her laptop over that Friday night and hangs out with her friend while I sit at the kitchen table diagnose the problems and remove all the viruses it takes three and a half hours and I give a rundown of the source of the problem tell her it's been just over three hours but 75 bucks will be fine I am assured that this is great choosing beggar doesn't have money on her and I'm skeptical about this but I'll trust her big mistake choosing beggar has to be asked several times through my roommate the excuses begin oh sure I'll bring it this week I am a little short I'll come next week I am starting to believe I am NOT going to see this money I am surprised when choosing beggar comes over and she hands me an envelope with what should be my pay I open it up and it's 30 bucks I look at it and I look back up at her it took me three hours it's 75 dollars well I talked to my dad and he says that's too much it's really not the professional places will charge you double or more and it was a lot of hard work oh I know it was three hours so I bought you three hours of what you normally make this is not the same thing this is a job that involves more technical know-how I didn't cook for you I fixed your computer well this is all you're getting so don't bother me again this choosing beggar stiffed me 45 bucks when she came back a month later telling me her boyfriend had downloaded all these viruses again I just shrugged at her she tried to get me to fix it again for free but I refused she already stiffed me and she had the nerve to come back and hope I'd do it again not a chance I kind of feel like this is a ploy played by the choosing beggars boyfriend babe I don't know how all this porn got on your computer I think it was all those viruses but it definitely wasn't me hello everyone this story just effing happened like one hour ago I received my paycheck and like every sane person would do I decided to go to the store to buy stuff so I bought some junk food nothing really expensive and I bought a bottle of wine a tasty but cheap one so I go to the cashier and there was a woman in her 40s she was buying just well a paper and baby powder but when she goes to pay she didn't have enough money seeing that the two products were necessary we all know the pain no toilet paper equals crying in the shower I offered to pay she looked at me with stars in her eyes and told me she was really grateful but then choosing beggar attacks no not another person she is the choosing beggar dun dun dun she asked me if she could get one more thing looking at her seeing what she was buying I told her yes she probably would want something urgent because she was asking a total stranger to buy right wrong she comes over with one of the most expensive bottles of wine in the shop like 60 bucks I had looked at her shocked but body blocked her the conversation goes as follows excuse me ma'am but I will not pay for that but you told me it was okay I know that I said it's okay to buy another thing but I never thought you would try to buy a bottle of wine but you're buying one too I really want one at that moment I was in a good mood so I just told her I can buy you a bottle she literally lit up like a freaking Christmas tree but I can't buy that one it's really expensive but I don't like cheap wine she looked at the bottle in my hand and fake trembled like she was disgusted by it ma'am sir you're both holding up the line I looked and really we were lady it's your choice either a cheaper bottle or no wine she just scoffed at me can't you understand I don't like cheap wine she told me like I was slow in understanding I just looked at the cashier I passed my things choosing beggar probably thought I was gonna pass her - nope I paid mine and moved aren't you gonna pay she yelled I just ignored her never abused the goodwill of others moral of the story cheap wine is the best but cows can't really hold their liquor because they don't have hands I don't know what sort of evening this choosing beggar had in mind that involved a bottle of wine a toilet paper and baby powder but I think I don't want to know that was our slash using beggars and as a reminder I'm holding a contest for who can submit the absolute worst artistic rendition of my logo imaginable bonus points for extra entitlement you can submit your entry at our /yt at gmail.com

Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,405,146

Rating: 4.9229226 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, choosingbeggars, beggar, r/choosingbeggars, choosing beggar, choosing

Id: fjUhoGZn40w

Length: 16min 32sec (992 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 13 2019