r/AmITheA**Hole? I Embarrassed My Teacher at School!

welcome to our /m I the butthole where we get to judge strangers on the Internet train is packed it's hot I'm tired and looking for a place to sit everything was occupied but at one point I see an old lady get up and start making her wait at the doors I went over to sit in the new place but found a purse in it instead belonging to the girl in the window seat I asked her if she could move the purse but she didn't respond I noticed she had headphones in so I figured I'll just pick up the person hand it to her as I'm sitting down as soon as I touched the thing she went off on me with the most disgusted look and tone asking me what the F I was doing I explained she then had the nerve to lie that she was keeping this seat for her friend I told her I knew for a fact she was alone because I just saw the old lady get up to which she didn't respond so I started making my way down forcing her to pick up the purse if she didn't want it crushed under my butt this released an even bigger tirade and series of what the f is your problem I saw another old lady looking for a seat and approaching ours so I figured I'd had enough petty BS turned around to the girl who was slightly overweight locked eyes with her and told her oh I'm sorry I didn't realize you actually needed two seats to be able to fit my bad I'll get up now I got up and offered my seat to the old lady who took it with a smile seemingly ignoring the huge boost or that was spewing out of the girl's mouth as I walked away I noticed some people gave me dirty looks but others were chuckling so I kind of wondered if I stepped too much out of line there Opie not the butthole you get zero out of five buttholes what she did putting her purse on the seat looking out the window with her headphones in is total BS she gets two out of five buttholes for being entitled and selfish our next reddit post is from big Jelly Belly what I thought would be a total non-issue has ballooned into a huge problem and I'm up at 7:05 a.m. dealing with it I figured while I wait for a text I could post here to see if what I did was really that bad I'm overweight there's no way around it I love to eat which probably borders on addiction but I figure since I'm only hurting myself it's probably better to just live my life I have some great friends although there's no doubt I'm the harmless funny token fat guy of the otherwise pretty good-looking group I guess that sets the stage enough last night my friend hosted UFC and I was invited he got a six-foot party sub I also brought homemade wings that are sort of my specialty well of course people flocked to the food and I had basically one serving of the sandwich but people devoured my wings and I didn't get to have a single one which is totally fine that's why I brought them but maybe an hour later I was starving I kept eyeing the sandwich and I'd say there was about three feet of it left I waited an hour then another half-hour and no one had touched it but they were still munching on chips pretzels and whatnot so I was like screw it I took about half of what was left and ate it then the last half sat for another 10 to 15 minutes and no one said anything so I ate the rest well to be sure as I was swallowing the last bite the host girlfriend asked me where the sandwich was like I was the guilty party pretty much everyone pointed at me I guess they noticed me eating the sandwich she was furious and said that I was an incredible pig and that I had been super selfish to eat 3 feet of a sandwich I felt so bad I tried to explain to her that I really did wait over an hour and thought people had lost interest I also tried to explain how everyone had eaten my wings and she said something along the lines of you brought them to share Alan if someone had eaten over half of them by themselves that's not effing sharing is it I offered to order pizza or even go get subways and she said that it was a pathetic offer because the party's up had been from a local shop owned by her friends I said I was sorry but the night was so tense from then on outs I woke up this morning to several texts from my twin sisters the hosts girlfriends best friends saying that I had to get my stuff under control everyone is really mad at me and that I embarrassed myself last night I tried to explain to them what my mind said had been and they haven't responded so was I the butthole for eating that much of the sane which last night Opie what you did was pretty selfish so I gotta give you 2 out of 5 buttholes if you're gonna eat 3 feet of a party sub you've got to at least ask the host if that's ok though I will say that the host girlfriend gets let's say point 5 maybe 1 out of 5 buttholes because she probably shouldn't have shouted you at the party the damage had already been done and she kinda escalated unnecessarily our next reddit post is from dad joke am I the butthole note my stepdaughter Madeleine was about a year old when I married her mother Jessica Madeline's father died before she was born Madeleine is currently 15 and she's rebelling for almost everything she did something bad so while picking her up I said a punishment up for her then she said you're not my dad I don't have to follow you honestly I got a bit hurt from that but I understand that she didn't mean it and that she'd probably change I just replied I'm still your legal guardian for the next three years and as long as you're in my house you have to follow my rules that happened about two days ago so our family was going grocery shopping when Madeline said I'm hungry I need food I decide to be extremely cheeky and say hi hungry I'm not your dad my son just started to laugh uncontrollably my daughter was just quiet with embarrassment and my wife was berating me not to stoop down to her level I honestly thought it was a funny dad joke and my son agrees so am I the butthole mini update I'll probably give a full update later but here's what happened so far I got to my daughter's room after dinner and begin talking with her hey I'm really sorry that I hurt you by the words I said and I am really your dad I changed your diapers I met your boyfriend and I plan on helping you through college and plus I'm legally your dad so we're stuck together but seriously I'm going to love you like my daughter even if you don't think I'm your dad then I hugged her she did start to cry I assumed that's good as far as I'm concerned nobody is the butthole here your daughter is a 14 year old girl she's literally legally required to rebel against her parents and say mean things every now and then and as a dad you're legally required to make awkward dad jokes and that one was a killer what do my viewers think let me know down in the comments did this dad go too far with his dad joke or was it just tongue-in-cheek and kind of what the teenager had coming our next reddit post is from writings of a dead poet my teacher doesn't like my first name and always talks about how weird it is and how my last name should be my first so she took it upon herself to only refer to me by my last name on tests she'd even cross out my first name when I wrote it I kept telling her I preferred being called by my first name but she lapped it off so I started calling her by her first name the first time she was shocked but after a month she just kept yelling to me about how I was being really disrespectful I've gotten numerous detentions because of it but I don't want to stop until she calls me my first name so am I the butthole if I keep calling her by her first name edit for more information I have an Arabic name and I live in a country where the majority of people are Arabs I should also clarify that in my country we already call teachers by their first name for example mrs. R / however I stopped addressing the missus and only call her by her name the country I live in isn't very good and the school systems are the only good point which is why it may be different than everyone else's so down in the comments everyone overwhelmingly agrees that opie is not the butthole but then Opie posts a surprising update I first want to thank everyone who commented on my post it honestly helped me so much and without it I don't know if I'd end up in this position so I went up to my parents and asked them for the millionth time if they could come with me to talk to my principal they of course said no I'm kind of ashamed to say this but some tears were shed when they said this afterwards my dad came up to me and told me that he'd come with me if it meant so much however he told me to go up to my teacher just one last time and if it didn't work he definitely accompanied me to the principal's office so I went to my teacher I already knew how everything was going to go so I didn't have any hope I told her that I don't appreciate her making fun of my name and if she continues I would continue to call her by her first name - the missus she told me that I was a very disrespectful child and that she could do whatever she wanted and that was fair I told her that many people don't think she's fair and in return she just looked confused I handed her my phone with reddit on it and had her read the comments luckily she's my English teacher her face went from nothing to just sadness I swear it was so weird it's like a realization hit her because she just changed everything she apologized to me and told me that my name for her was associated with someone else in her life who affected her a lot and saying my name just gets her bad memories I guess she told me that she was caught up and just kept apologizing at this point I kind of felt guilty because I never took this thought into consideration she told me she tried to save my name and won't cross it off a test anymore but it might take time and that in the meantime I can still call her by her first name all my classmates are jealous because I'm the only person allowed to alone we've talked about the past attention she's given me and she said she'll talk to the principal about it and we'll try to get them removed honestly this isn't how I thought things were going to turn out and I'm pretty sure you guys all wanted some epic revenge like her getting fired or something but all we have is a happy ending Opie I'm glad you got your happy ending and we have this incredible contribution from Opie burner down in the comments your story reminded me of a lady who works at the post-grad University I attend the program I was in required everybody to have CPR certification once she reached a certain point in your progression and she was in charge of making sure this took place she had other responsibilities that forces interact with her and her reputation as a jerk preceded her her favorite technique was public humiliation if she ever found that a student was behind on their training slash certification slash vaccinations she would sent obnoxious emails about it to the whole program listserv if this didn't succeed in getting the students to take care of it she would come to our lecturer pull the student out into the hallway just outside the lecture hall and berate them loud enough for all to hear my last year there she sent out some truly next-level mean and petty emails regarding one student who apparently was defying her by ignoring her in response she sent out an email to the whole listserv only concerning this one student by name that was beyond ugly called him all sorts of names threatened his status in the program wondered out loud how he could challenge her authority everything you could think of the reason he was defying her he died from neurofibromatosis suddenly the week before she was fired I assumed everyone was tired of her and this was the last straw our next write-up poses from frustrating bacon eater dad hear old fart loves his daughter to pieces but I'm struggling to see eye-to-eye with my teenager and wife on this one we've always been a meat-eating family we live in the rural Midwest and bacon for breakfast is pretty much a given this year my 14 year old daughter decided to go vegan and I jumped onto her support team with enthusiasm we learned how to substitute ingredients cook new things try new things I adjusted our budget to include more expensive vegan substitutes for her etc none of this has been a problem for me until recently she saw me cook bacon in a pan and then I rinsed it out to load in the dishwasher she exploded in anger teen years I'm not too fussed about the anger explosion I know she doesn't mean it and said that that was her pan for vegan food I was completely floored and said kiddo this here is a family pan older than you it's not your pan she asked me to purchase her a pan that she can solely use for vegan food I didn't want her to feel weird about food so I said sure and ordered her a few colored ones that are only for her the reason they're colored is so it helps me to remember that I'm not to touch them unless I'm cooking vegan that wasn't good enough now apparently the dishwasher is contaminated with animal product and the fridge has bacon grease fingers on it because I eat bacon and then touch the fridge and she's asked me and her mom to completely stop eating meat at home I don't mean I literally touch the fridge with greasy bacon hands because I wash my hands but it's clearly enough that it upsets my daughter frankly I'm on Team heck no her mom is much more minimal and strongly wants me to consider taking our daughter up in her quest my wife's reasoning is that both our parents live close so we can eat meat products there and that she doesn't want our daughter to feel uncomfortable in the kitchen my daughter says she's fine with cheese and butter in the fridge but it's specifically meat products that make her feel sick now I'm sorry for her but I feel like she just needs to adapt and live side by side because I'm not going to stop eating bacon in my own house doffy trash down in the common says it best not the butthole get her a special sponge that she can use to wash her own dishes so she doesn't have to use the tainted dishwasher once she's washing her own dishes I have a feeling her tones gonna change pretty quickly our next reddit post is from oranges aren't abomb when I was in middle school I was viciously bullied by this boy who I'll call Z he spread rumors about me called me stupid and useless every chance he got and made school torture it's been 12 years and Z has since come out as male to female transgender she messaged me over social media and asked to meet up we went out for coffee where she apologized for bullying me it was along the lines of I am sorry for being mean I was young and I was struggling with my gender identity I thanked her for her apology when she asked if she was forgiven and I tried to avoid answering I'm still not over what she did to me what Z did to me impacted me greatly as I was an impressionable young girl I struggled with self-esteem for years after Z started getting defensive she told me that I was being petty and then I should forgive her I told her why you will always be the boy that bullied me an apology won't change that she got really offended when I said the word boy and said that I was misgendering her she called me petty transphobic vindictive and ignorant then stormed out am I the butthole no zero out of five buttholes she bullied you for years and she can't handle one sentence of criticism also it kind of sounds like she was apologizing for her sake not yours she apologized because she felt guilty not because she was sad that she made your life miserable so zero out of five buttholes for you 4.5 out of 5 buttholes for her that was our slash am I the butthole and unless you hit that like button you are definitely the butthole

Channel: rSlash

Views: 655,764

Rating: 4.861465 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, prorevenge, r/prorevenge, prorevenge posts, prorevenge funny, prorevenge fails, pro revenge, funny pro revenge, amitheasshole, r/amitheasshole, amithebutthole, r/amithebutthole, aita, r/aita

Id: EAxAd3JJ9VU

Length: 16min 40sec (1000 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 01 2019