r/AmITheA**hole I Cheated on a Game Show - AND WON!

welcome to our /mi the butthole where we get to judge people on the internet we had a family dinner this evening my family has four kids in total me my older sister 29 younger sister 24 and youngest brother 22 extended family attended our family dinner so all of our significant others are cousins aunts and uncles etc during the dinner my elder sister and youngest brother got into a mild disagreement my sister seemed at least to me to be coming across as very aggressive out of frustration and losing said arguments the two of them were too absorbed in their argument to realize the rest of us were getting a bit fed up eventually my sister got really fed up and said shut up I'm not going to argue with a 22 year old virgin my brother hadn't done any personal attacks up until that point it was completely unprovoked I think it might have been the alcohol as my sister is a mean drunk anyway I immediately told my sister to grow up and that she was making an embarrassment of herself she replied by saying everyone knows he's a virgin and she didn't say anything wrong she annoyed me as my bro definitely has confidence issues and doesn't need to be made fun of like this so I responded by saying how she slept with well over a hundred men while she was in college and since everyone in the family knows this it's not a big deal right turns out her husband didn't know this amazingly I genuinely assumed he must have known he left the party angrily saying my sister misled him about her past family is blaming me for their marital problems I refused to accept I did anything wrong my sister bullied my brother in front of everything all I did was give her a taste of her own medicine ope this one's a little bit tricky first of all your sister is definitely a butthole three out of five bottles for her and there's no doubt whatsoever that she desperately needed a dose of her own medicine but just because you delivered some vigilante justice doesn't mean that you aren't also a bit of a bottle in this situation so I think I'll give you one point five buttholes I appreciate that you stuck up for your brother but you stoop to her level our next reddit posts dinner throw away longtime lurker here hoping some of you guys can weigh in on what has become a really frustrating situation with a close friend and his partner so my wife 29 and I also 29 have been hosting dinner parties a few times a year for as long as we lived in our current city we'd like to go all out and cook elaborate and multi-course meals so we limit our invitations to just a few close friends since cooking such a complex dinner is an all-day affair and the food costs add up quickly we have about 4 to 6 people we invite to these events depending on their availability and it's become a great tradition in our social circle our friend James started dating his girlfriend Sara about a year and a half ago and when we first extended her an invitation we were informed that sara was a vegan I think James for letting us know and said she was more than welcome to bring her own food so she would have something to eat he agreed and the two of them have been attending our parties regularly for the past year everything was fine until now during her most recent dinner this past week we noticed that sara was very quiet and looked like she was about to cry my wife asked her what was wrong but she told us not to worry about it and kept dodging the questions so we didn't push the issue however after the meal James took us aside privately and told us that Sara felt hurt because we never provided any dishes she could eat at our dinners and it seemed like we were deliberately excluding her he added that he thought we were being rude and considerate by not accommodating her which really pissed me off and we got into a huge argument over it my wife feels terrible that Sara was so upset and apologized to her and James profusely but I don't agree that we did anything wrong I like Sara very much as a person and I don't have anything against her dietary choices but I don't believe it's fair to expect us to change our entire menu or make an entire sipper meal for one person especially when so much time and effort goes into creating these dinners for the record nobody else has any dietary restrictions am I the butthole ope you've been inviting this vegan to your house for a year and a half without a single dish that she can eat a year and a half this woman sat at your table watching you guys eat at these dinner parties for a year and a half and you don't think you did anything wrong honestly Opie you can't make one dish you can't make a salad you can't make a soup everything has to be something that this poor woman can't eat to be honest I'm surprised you didn't lose your friend over this I'm even more surprised he kept bringing his girlfriend to your sucky dinner parties our next reddit post is from I'll be condone just for context I'm six foot two and my wife is 4 foot 11 she's insecure about her height and while I try my best to tell her that she is stupendously beautiful the way she is she got bullied about it pretty bad and it's just an aspect she doesn't like about herself with this in mind we recently went to one of my favorite places to eat now this restaurant has a really large counter and my wife is petite so the cashier couldn't really see her we ordered our food and we're hitting out when the cashier held out a giant piece of candy and said for your lovely daughter to me I honestly couldn't help burst out laughing to the point that I had tears in my eyes and had to compose myself before driving back home my wife is obviously pretty pissed am I the butthole well let's rephrase this my wife is deeply insecure about an aspect of her body and has been bullied about it and I her husband laughed at her in public to the point of Tears am I the butthole yes Opie you are three out of five buttholes but on the bright side if your wife is pissed all you have to do is give her a warm glass of milk and read her a bedtime story and she should share pretty quickly our next reddit post is from I won a car this is a hot topic in my family at the moment I live I don't an obscure little island near the UK we have a local quiz show that's aired on them tell you that I appeared on a few years ago the premise of the show is that you can win prizes for doing challenges some of the challenges were physical some psychological and some requiring problem-solving skills I sailed through a lot of the physical part because I wasn't a fat bastard back then and the problem-solving skills required a lot of math which is my career so I was okay there as for the psychological part you had to enter a clear box room filled with something you're terrified of and searched through it to find clues to the next part I thought of a believable lie before I entered the show we had to list five things were afraid of and I put down all the things I'm not scared of I listed spiders cockroaches snakes scorpions and wood lice I literally couldn't care less about any of these creatures I grew up in a rural landscape and I've had to pretty much deal with creepy crawlies my entire life so it's not an issue my actual fear is a bit more obscure and I really honestly knew I'd fail if I was put in a room with it when I entered the room there were cockroaches everywhere I was in my boxers and barefoot which was incredibly gross I can't lie and had to sit through and move the cockroaches to find clues for my next challenge I did it in a time period ascribed to me and got through the next part the rest of the contestants failed now I want a pretty average car which I didn't particularly want so as soon as I legally could I sold it and made a nice profit since it was pretty much brand new and bought myself a rather nicer car I told my family this recently on a drunken night when we were all at it get together and although everybody found it uproariously funny my family are split into two camps some people think I cheated and was ethically and morally wrong and other people think the other contestants deserve to lose if they listed their actual fears I am obviously in a latter category but genuinely wondering what others think now Oh pee I give you zero out of five buttholes basically you were just playing the game to be honest reality TV shows aren't even about playing fair it's just about creating an entertaining and profitable show and it sounds like that's what you did our next reddit post is from a chasm ever since we a 27 year old couple had a baby my wife has been talking like a baby herself rather than teaching the baby to talk like a person it's as if my wife's language has become baby like she would make noises in between conversations like bowdie bowdie chup and oh whoa whoa what aha even even when talking with adults this is especially embarrassing when I'm with her in public places when she talks like that to complete strangers I've been telling her nicely to not do that she would just laugh it off totally oblivious to how people around us stare whenever she talks like a baby I have to point out that she is not in the spectrum just a crazy new mom in fact too crazy sometimes it was a day off for us when we had my parents babysitting the baby and we finally have some time by ourselves we went out for dinner and she did it again talking to the waiter or something like this yippee Thanks yeah ha ha ha oh whoa yo yah yah by the way can you give us an extra plate for this seeing how the waiter stared at her as if she's some kind of mentally challenged person I rolled my eyes and told her I'm taking a break today and don't need another baby who can't even talk properly to look after please excuse me then I left the restaurant without her I don't know what happened to me but I probably shouldn't have done that but I guess I kind of just snapped am I the butthole this stuff about the baby talk is funny but honestly this just seems like a very normal couple fight personai keeps doing something that's weird and bothering person B person B says hey this is bothering me can you stop it now I'm not saying the person a has to stop the behavior but person a at least owes person B a conversation about why they're doing it whether they should stop why it's bothering them the things like that you know talk about it like a normal couple so I'm gonna give the wife here three out of five buttholes for basically ignoring her partner's wishes entirely and I'm gonna give the husband 1 out of 5 butt holes because abandoning your wife in a restaurant is a little dramatic but I can understand your frustration our next reddit post is from Marty a hundred using the throw away some context I live in California and my wife's niece wanted to come visit us for a few weeks she's 22 I've known her since she was 4 her dad walked out on her family when she was 8 she's very sheltered by her mother anyway I told my wife it was fine with me if she visits she's a good kid and her five-year-old son loves his cousin and really wanted to see her but then my wife goes and she wants to bring her boyfriend he's 47 I'm 41 my wife is 42 I was like you're kidding right she wasn't kidding at first I was like no but after about a week of talking I gave in with one caveat I told my wife that if this dude is staying in our house I'm gonna ask some questions he might not like she wanted to know what kind of questions and I gave her some one how did you guys meet and who made the first move if the dude made the first move it's weird - has the dude been married does he have kids three why are you dating such a young woman four are you aware of the young woman's history with her father five what's the endgame here a serious relationship marriage have you discussed what will happen if the young woman gets pregnant I know I'm not the girl's father but no one else in her family is asking these questions her mother is fine with the relationship which boggles my mind so fast forward to the visit nice and all dudes show up I'm cordial I wait till evening after everything is settled and dinner is over and I invite the dew to join me on the porch for a beer just me and him then I start asking my questions after only my second question the guy starts getting defensive he told me this is none of my business I got a little pissed at that I told him he's staying in my home for a week I can ask him a few questions and the girl is my niece I'm not out of bounds here he told me I was making him uncomfortable I replied that I'm uncomfortable having a dude who's clearly taken advantage of a young girl stay in my home I said you can answer my questions and act like you're a stand-up guy or feel free to hit the ducking road well he left my wife and niece were upset with me they said I acted like a jerk and then if my niece is happy to let it go again I was told it's none of my business they've since broken up which I'm glad about not sure if my actions were the cause so am i the butthole for questioning this guy no way Opie absolutely not the bottle you get zero out of five bottles even ignoring the age thing if she had brought home a 22 year old guy and you'd ask those same questions that would have been totally fine I mean it's your house and the guy's gonna be living under your roof totally reasonable Plus Opie added this very telling update talk to my niece this morning she and I are totally fine new my actions came from wanting to keep her safe I apologize for my actions regardless I asked why they broke up the guy was cheating on his wife he confessed it to my knees and said he would get a divorce for her he has three kids all her age or older she dumped him oh man that's so screwed up our next reddit post is from cinnabar I've been away since Thursday house-sitting for my mom and it's currently Sunday afternoon where I live here mail doesn't deliver on weekends they only do that Monday to Friday which means I had two days worth of mail in my mailbox my 30 something year old neighbors moved in on Friday when I wasn't there and she was in her front yard when I was collecting my mail she goes don't check your mailbox on weekend they don't deliver on weekends so don't check it in a rude Karen voice if you know then you know already I know we're not going to have a good neighbor relationship and I'm hung over and can't be bothered dealing with her stuff so I said I know it's just I've been kidnapped in the basement for a week so I had to check the mailbox I don't have a basement barely anyone does in my country she seemed shocked but it was an obvious joke with my overly sarcastic tone then we both went inside and that was that about 25 minutes later the police knocked on the door thinking I was held captive in my basement which I don't have so I explained to them what I had said and they just laughed and left just before I was putting rubbish in the bin and she came out and called me a grunt for making her think I was kidnapped in my height the butt hole nah no op0 out of five butt holes your neighbor is a [ __ ] our next reddit post is from spirulina for my stepson is turning eighteen soon and my husband and I decided that we'll be getting him a car I make more than my husband does and we'll be splitting the cost of the car 70/30 that's fine with me his mother is a woman who I make the effort to be civil with but don't like I am much younger than she and my husband are and come from a more privileged background she had a lot of things to say about that she called me her exes cash cow and that's one of the better things she said about me we're not friends I won't even describe her as nice to me when my husband told her that will buy my stepson a car for his birthday she said she wants to chip in five percent of the cost and then we could tell my stepson that the gift is from all the parents and stepparents I don't want to do that I don't need her five percent and my stepson knows that his mom and stepdad are not in a position to equally share the cost of buying the car I don't want recognition for paying 70 percent of his gifts cost but I don't want to share my and my husband's gift to my stepson with the woman who has always been antagonistic to me I don't know why she wants us to get the car jointly now because we've never given my stepson a gift jointly before and I don't understand what's so bad about getting separate gifts from me and his dad and his mom and his stepdad I know that many people will say that it's better for my stepson to see that all his parents and stepparents are getting along I'm civil to his mom and I never talk negatively about her to him is that not enough am i incapable of being a good stepmother to him if I'm not best friends with his mom do I have to let his mom get her way whenever she asked in the name of all parents getting along No Opie the answer is no you do not you get zero out of five buttholes on this one that mom can't criticize you calling you a cash cow and then expect to treat you like a cash cow if she wants to join in she can buy her son an air freshener that was our slash am i the butthole and unless you hit the like and subscribe button you are definitely the butthole

Channel: rSlash

Views: 780,993

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, prorevenge, r/prorevenge, prorevenge posts, prorevenge funny, prorevenge fails, pro revenge, funny pro revenge, amitheasshole, r/amitheasshole, amithebutthole, r/amithebutthole, aita, r/aita

Id: 8SkD34Kxrow

Length: 16min 53sec (1013 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 11 2019