r/AmITheA--Hole? I Replaced His Toothpaste with Ghost Pepper Extract!

welcome to our /mi the butthole where we get to judge strangers on the internet I was sitting at a table in a coffee shop yesterday when this guy comes into the shop carrying a guitar and orders a drink he then happens to choose the space right next to my table to stand and play his guitar while waiting for his order I find people who force their music on others very annoying this guy in his guitar are no different from someone playing music from a Bluetooth speaker in a public area in my mind but I was lucky in this case I didn't have to stick around without speaking to the guy or even making eye contact I stood up and moved to the complete opposite side of the shop to a new table by the exit well the guy must have noticed my displeasure because he stopped playing after I moved a few moments later he got his drink and moved towards the exit to leave he opens the door to leave pauses then turns to me and says you could have just asked me to stop playing treat me like a human being and then continued out the door before I could respond so this guy is acting like I'm the butthole for not verbally engaging with a stranger who annoyed me I feel like simply removing myself from the area when possible is usually the right play and leads to less conflict am i the butthole see unfortunately Opie you didn't give the guitarist a chance to start singing because then he might have said something like I'm an entitled butthole and I have a stick up my butt and I think I'm so awesome or whatever because honestly that guy sounds like a turd you get a zero out of five buttholes that guy gets two out of five buttholes I mean it wasn't anything extreme to be honest you were polite you avoided conflict I think you handled that situation pretty much the best you possibly could that guy is so pop as he thought no one would be bothered by his music and he's so self-absorbed that he assumed correctly in this case that he was the reason why you moved you couldn't move for any reason you said it's by the exit maybe there's more light by the exit maybe you're waiting for a friend maybe he wanted the cool breeze from the open door who knows but like a true narcissist he assumed that he's the cause of everything aren't her next reddit pose is from Apple terian I got the idea a few weeks ago to prank my friends by pretending to be an apple terian meaning somebody who only eats food products that are derived from apples and would only drink apple juice or apple cider I told him I told them all that I'd read on the internet that eating only apples was the healthiest thing for you when I first told them they thought I was joking but they underestimated how committed I would be to a joke so whenever in the presence of one of my friends or friend of friends co-workers etc who knew them I was very careful to only be seen eating apples or drinking apple juice or cider apples whole apple sties applesauce the inside of an apple pie baked apples candy apple with the chocolate shaved off etc finally after about a week they bought that I had become an apple terian they started giving me information about how unhealthy it was to only eat apples and growing increasingly exasperated by it some of them even got angry but I wanted to stick with the joke fine finally after the end of three weeks I walked into what I was told was a movie night but was actually an intervention for me they were all super concerned about my well-being and had all sorts of information or whatever finally I started laughing hysterically they were confused as heck so I told them I had been faking it the whole time and had been eating real meals outside of their knowledge I even took out some beef jerky from my pant pocket to prove it and munched it I thought they'd appreciate the joke but they were actually really annoyed my girlfriend even broke up with me over this because a few days ago I had ruined our date night when I told the waiter I I only wanted apples because I was an apple terian and had embarrassed her for a dumb joke in my opinion the joke was solid and they appreciate my commitment to the prank but did I go too far oh hey I'm gonna give you 2 out of 5 buttholes it's it's really funny what you did but you may have taken it a little too far I can understand why your friends would be legitimately worried about you there are so many fruitcakes out there who believe things like you shouldn't vaccinate your kids and you could survive by eating sunlight so it's reasonable for them to assume that you were actually harming yourself over your apple terian prank our next reddit post is from space husband well here it goes one of my roommates has a history of using my stuff without asking we're all in college and old enough to know not to get into other people's things I noticed my toothpaste was going down really fast so I confronted my roommate about it and he was like sorry bro won't do it again thing is I've heard that line many times before I told him I'm going to spike my toothpaste one of these days well I made good on my promise after I noticed my toothpaste continuing to go down I got some very concentrated ghost pepper extract and put a decent amount near the top of my toothpaste well last night I was walking down the hall and I see my roommate bursting out of the bathroom hitting towards the kitchen I follow him down there and saw him downing his gallon of milk straight out of the container I started laughing and said that now he should buy his own toothpaste he looked at me and said what the F dick he told the other roommates and a couple thought it was hilarious what I did the other just said I was a butthole what's the verdict here honestly Opie you could have posted this on our slash Pro revenge this guy had it coming zero out of five buttholes for you 3 out of 5 bottles for him our next reddit post is from hot cheetos 32 so my husband and i were stuck in an airport for 15 hours yesterday due to multiple flights to our destination being delayed and cancelled so we hung out at a lot of different charging stations this lady had her phone on top of someone else's phone in her group on the charging state apparently she had set some alarm thing on her phone to go off if someone moves it because she left it unattended on the charging station when we got to the charging station at her terminal the alarm was going off already and apparently the lady had walked away to do something and someone else in her group was holding it and the alarm was just constantly going off and sounded like a car alarm me and my husband were trying to figure out what was making this noise so when she comes back from the bathroom she's yelling at her husband WTF why is my phone going off who touched it so she looks over at me and my husband with the nastiest face assuming we messed with her phone which we didn't I don't care to mess with other people's stuff she was just yelling and going on and on about someone touching her phone very loudly and angrily for a good solid ten minutes constantly complaining her husband tells her someone bumped it while trying to get their phone plugged into the station and she just gets even matter still yelling about people trying to take her stuff which nobody did so she comes to the station moves other people's stuff around to get her phone plugged back in and she puts that freaking car alarm trigger back on it so if it moves it goes off very loudly when it's time to start boarding she's waiting at the desk even though she was in the last boarding group she was in such a hurry to try to cut every other boarding group I guess she forgot about her heavily secured phone on the charging station her husband tells her this isn't our group you can't board and she just shrugs her shoulders and stays in line my husband and I are still by the charging station because our boarding group was next to last I unplug my phone and notice hers is still plugged in she's near the front of the line at this point so I'm not touching that thing to make it go off very loudly again and have her accuse me of stealing her stuff yet again just to take it to her and her line cutting husband she was complaining very loudly about God knows what to the people at the boarding gates so I just decided to leave it thinking maybe she'd remember but I honest don't know if she ever did does this make me a butthole zero out of five buttholes to be honest what I think I would have done is once you're in the air I would have I would have found that lady and been like don't worry I didn't touch your phone when I aborted the flight it was still plugged into the wall our next reddit post is from stupid test my wife is pregnant with our daughter initially we were really happy and excited about it but then she starts acting like a nut job she gets angry and irritated for small things insults me when she doesn't like the food I make starts acting insecure and accuses me of losing attraction for her for example she wanted to eat chicken sandwiches for dinner last week well I made chicken sandwiches so she eats all the sandwiches leaves me nothing and told me they tasted like garbage I wasn't pissed because she left me nothing but if she didn't like them why did she have to eat everything when I asked her this she told me that she was hungry okay fine she does this every time eats everything I make and calls it garbage I don't argue with her because I work for more than 80 hours a week and I really want to have some peace when I'm home so yesterday a random girl starts flirting with me after the gym and asked me if I wanted to meet up with her for some drinks I rejected her and told her that I was married and when I got home my wife started to hug me and apologize when I asked her what happened she told me that her best friend suggested a test for my loyalty so they asked a mutual friend to flirt with me and asked me out and I passed yay I'm really pissed I am done with her antics will I be the butthole if I ask her to move out I don't know it's kind of a sticky situation I mean we're supposed to give pregnant ladies a little bit of leeway but constantly criticizing you and treating you like garbage that doesn't sound like a pregnant lady that sounds like a butthole and if you ask me that loyalty test is way too far asking her to move out might be a little over top but yeah I can definitely see we were coming from I'll give you at most two out of five buttholes because based on your story it doesn't really seem like you've tried to work this out or come to some sort of solution you just went from silently upset to kicking her out which is a little extreme your wife however gets four out of five buttholes pregnant or not she's acting like a complete jerk our next reddit post is from throw away the wedding my son was born when I was only fifteen years old and I've been a single dad since I was 18 it was hard living for a long time money-wise but I've always tried to do best by my son today I own my own gym and my son is now 22 and going to college and works at a gym full time he came out to me when he was 14 years old and I've always been supportive of him and his identity I've been with my fiance for about two years and while she does come from a very deep religious and conservative family she has never had any issue with my son at least nothing she has ever expressed to me my son has been dating his boyfriend since he was around 18 and I've gotten to know him really well however my fiance told me recently that she doesn't want my son's boyfriend to come to the wedding nor does she want her parents to even get the inclination that my son is gay that if they found out they would have a complete fit this really bothers me because I refuse to ask my son to go back in the closet what's going to happen in the future when my son gets married himself will they want him and his husband barred from other family events he's my son and will be the best man and it would only be unfair to deny him a plus-one because her family has an issue with gay people when I told her this she got very angry with me and told me that I was being selfish and overdramatic that it would just be for this one day that she wants the perfect wedding I told her that this was unacceptable and that I was not going to ask my son not to bring his boyfriend it's my wedding too and I want his boyfriend there after that I got the silent treatment for a day and since then it hasn't been discussed again however it is left unexplained has me contemplating calling the wedding off I don't want to marry into a family that would potentially discriminate against my son I love my fiance very much but my son will always come first I told my brother and he said that I was being the butthole here then it would just be for one day and that since my son is an adult it's unlikely that he would have that much interaction with his step grandparents in the future anyway I still don't feel comfortable about the entire situation and I'm really thinking about calling the wedding off would I be the butthole if I did this am I being unreasonable here Opie you get zero out of five buttholes you are definitely not the butthole here what it really sounds like is that your fiance has been hiding her bigotry from you this whole time so this is not a one-time event it is extremely likely that this discrimination is gonna continue throughout your entire marriage and yeah you're right it's your wedding too you absolutely have a right to call off this wedding that was our slash am I the butthole and if you're not subscribed to my channel then I gave you five out of five buttholes

Channel: rSlash

Views: 725,135

Rating: 4.8924103 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, prorevenge, r/prorevenge, prorevenge posts, prorevenge funny, prorevenge fails, pro revenge, funny pro revenge, amitheasshole, r/amitheasshole, amithebutthole, r/amithebutthole, aita, r/aita

Id: tclB-i0BXeU

Length: 14min 43sec (883 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 09 2019