r/AmITheA--Hole? "I'M GLAD HE'S DEAD!"

welcome to our /mi the butthole where a total jerk gets what's coming to him our first reddit poses from throw it away my girlfriend invited me to meet up with some other members from her department her department is almost all men I've met a few of them but hadn't met everyone that was coming out I knew that one guy in the department hung around with everyone else small department so everyone hangs out together and he made my girlfriend really uncomfortable with making sexual comments about her and getting a little too close for comfort but she didn't want to make a scene about it because she just finished her first year and he's almost done with his ph.d and is a big deal in the department I was a little late getting over there but when I got there I could tell immediately which guy it was I later found out that my girlfriend had been saving me a seat but he had taken it and refused to move he had his arm on the back of her chair and his body was turned towards her and was touching her knee with his other hand my girlfriend was leaning so far away from him that she was basically in the seat of the guy on her other side everyone looked uncomfortable except for this one guy I knew she wouldn't want me to make a scene and call him out again because of blowback on her I sat down on his other side and introduced myself he kept making comments and touching my girlfriend's leg while I was sitting right there and at one point he turned his back to me and totally boxed me out my girlfriend kept taking his hand off her knee and he kept putting it back so I decided to start mirroring his actions I put my arm around him and started rubbing his shoulder and whispering to him he pushed my hand away and I put it right back it took about 30 seconds for him to jump up and yell I'm not gay and then he stormed out at the bar the other guys in the department laughed about it and spent some time talking about how creepy he was but my girlfriend later told me that she thinks I took it a bit too far and she could have just kept putting up with it am i a butthole for being creepy to this guy who is touching my girlfriend haha no Opie this is a classic case of you giving a harasser a taste of his own medicine I give you zero out of five buttholes and I give the dude who was harassing your girlfriend four out of five buttholes our next reddit poses from rusted cornhole reddit will I be the butthole if I give the restaurant the name and phone number of my tinder date who literally just got up and left after the meal when it came up that we should split the check I'm sitting here now trying to decide what to do she and I never discussed this dinner being my treat and this is the place she suggested I have half a mind to separate the checks pay mine and leave her info on her check for the restaurant to sort out technically she dined and dashed I'm going to preemptively tell you now this wasn't because I tried to get laid by just buying dinner and I'm not a creep edit in our conversations I suggested coffee for our first meetup for those wondering update sweet karmic justice a pun moving to the bar and talking to the bartender I found out that this girl had an open tab before I arrived she left her driver's license at the bar according to the bartender she's a sucky tipper and she's probably next door trying to get free drinks at the pool hall since her tab was open and she's probably coming back anyway he agreed to move her food items over to her tab he said eff it it's not like she's gonna tip me anyways well problem solved ope and to be honest it sounds like you dodged a bullet on this one our next reddit poses from tina not Tianna I moved from Georgia to the Pacific Northwest last year for a dream job after I graduated college it was a little bit of a culture shock because I went from being one of many black people around at any given time to often being the only non-white person in a room let alone black person there hasn't been a lot of overt racism but there's been a lot of strange borderline situations that are amusing and race related but not necessarily racist for example every white woman I meet mentions Beyonce to me within the first five minutes when I was sitting from my driver's license photo the woman taking my picture opened with so Beyonce so the problem in the post title is that I am the only black woman at my office and I am constantly constantly being called the wrong name at work and I'm coming up on my one-year anniversary my name is Tina short for Christina pronounced just like it looks very easy name for some reason a handful of people at work called me Tiana tiara or TIA I think assuming that my name has to be more black sounding than it is I most often called Tiana especially by one of the guys in our development team and by the big boss for another team which I think then confuses their team members back into calling me the wrong name again the other thing is that apparently another black woman elderly not in the same position I men used to work there and I get called her name Mary sometimes two sometimes people will look at my nameplate and ask me how do you pronounce that it's Tina I have tried politely correcting this and corrected immediately every time from polite just for the record my name is Tina - light-hearted Tina like Tina Belcher in emails from me that say Tina in a million places including my email address I still get thanks Tiana so I'm considering doing the Twitter approach where I just respond to co-workers who called me the wrong name with the wrong name like if Chuck says thanks Tiana I say no problem Chad and if Jessica says hi tiara I say good morning Jennifer would I be the butthole if I did this I know it's passive-aggressive but every form of polite correction hasn't worked and I feel really disrespected by this so I may as well have some fun with it haha Opie I love this plan zero out of five buttholes though I strongly recommend you call every guy Kevin and every woman Karen our next reddit poses from waltzing away 78 I've been a single mom to two kids since they were six and four their dad passed away around that time my son was formally diagnosed as autistic he's not very verbal and prone to physical outbursts when he has a meltdown he's been in therapies of every kind for his entire life and it's helped somewhat their dad had a life insurance policy which allowed me to stay home as my son's main caregiver while working freelance but money was tight and finding anyone capable of watching him has always been a challenge my daughter was graduating from college last year a week before the ceremony she had an award ceremony for academic achievement I was obviously incredibly proud of her she asked me to come to it and I said I would her college is two hours from here I hired a train sitter who specializes in autism the day of the ceremony right as I was about to leave my son had a meltdown and was lashing out at the sitter I couldn't leave and he wasn't calm four hours I left my daughter a voicemail saying I wasn't going to be able to make it she called back that night absolutely livid she called me a sucky mother said I had two kids but only cared about one that I'd missed every game and performance she'd had as a child and that it clearly wasn't going to change as adults and that she was just done she says she knows he can't help it but her brother isn't capable of showing empathy and it made it hard to be around him with resenting him she hung up and that was it I have barely spoken with her since she didn't send tickets for the graduation we were supposed to go to next week she hasn't shown up for holidays and I've heard she's engaged but didn't call to tell me she's cut us out and in the 1 of 3 times we've spoken since she said it's easier for her to not have us around than to be disappointed and that being alone at events is nothing new for her she just doesn't have to bother getting her hopes up that I might come now am I the butthole I have offered family counseling and all other manner of things I know I wasn't a perfect mom growing up I didn't make it to her things but not for lack of caring I'm heartbroken but I don't think me not showing up in an emergency should have lost me my daughter forever Opie you are definitely the butthole in this situation you're not losing your daughter because of one emergency you're losing your daughter because you've consistently ignored her throughout her entire childhood to be honest Vanek's down in the comments took the words right out of my mouth you're the butthole but you only have so much of a choice to be you've missed every performance game and ceremony you hired a trained sitter for this event but didn't trust them enough and stayed yourself your daughter has it hard enough not having her dad come to any of her events but she never had a mom there either it sounds like she's always been secondhand to her brother which is incredibly understanding at times but you haven't made much effort to find someone who could at least handle him for one night she's your kid too she still needs her mom at these events she still needs her mom to show her support not just tell her also this wasn't the first time you didn't show up she cut you off because you never showed up you can only expect her to go through that disappointment so many times our next reddit post is from pizza drama first up I love my wife very very very much but man does she drive me crazy sometimes I'm a big dude I'm six foot four and I'm always freaking hungry I'm a firefighter so I am always on my feet and simply put I just love food my wife always eat stuff like salads and nuts but she will always help herself to some of my food which pisses me off because it's just the right amount of food that I want to eat but she'll go ahead and take some I've asked her so many times to leave my food alone and she'll get really defensive and say it's just a little babe you'll be fine except I'm not fine I'm hungry and then when I'm hungry I get hangry and I snap at everyone cuz I'm God dang hungry things came to a head at our kids third birthday party wife said no to cake despite me bringing over a slice to her so I gave that slice to my cousin's kid who was on his second slice my girl ended up eating the whole slice while I held a freaking plate and then when I went to get myself some all the cake had been finished lately my mother-in-law gave me the idea to just spice my food to stop my wife from taking mine since she can't stand spicy food I tried that yesterday I ordered pizza and asked my wife if she wanted one she said no I went ahead and got pepperoni and jalapenos and predictably when it came she came over and got all mad because it was spicy and she couldn't eat it I told her I had to take drastic measures because I'm fed up of sharing my food and she called me a selfish butthole so who's the butthole here Opie you are 100% not the butthole every person on earth has a sacred right to defend whatever is on their plates food can be offered but not taken that's going way too far zero out of five buttholes our next reddit pose is from f that dead guy married 15 years ago and almost didn't make it this far in our second year of marriage my wife went home I was deployed and slept with some [ __ ] who I'll refer to as [ __ ] from here out who she was loose acquaintances with growing up she hadn't seen him in years but he just happened to show up during my daughter's birthday party because he was the son of one of my mother-in-law's old friends [ __ ] and my wife hooked up later that week after reconnecting the reason I didn't kick my wife's butt to the curb and eventually forgave her is because she told me herself soon after I got home and she didn't try to justify it with thee oh well you were gone I felt lonely blah blah blah no she actually said straight up that she was passionately hugging this [ __ ] her words not mine though I agree and she felt so sick and disgusting for doing it she immediately cut off all contact with [ __ ] and it took a lot of counselling and healing but here we are today feels like non-stop since that time that my wife has gone above and beyond proving that I was right to keep her well my mother-in-law called yesterday and she learned from [ __ ] mother that dick had died in some workplace accident and they're having a funeral service this weekend my wife told me this and that she wanted to go and it was like I got kicked right in the dick I instantly felt nauseous and had effing horrible flashbacks of when she told me about her affair all these horrible feelings resurfaced along with the sucky memories of me crying my effing eyes out and my image of her shattering the pain felt as fresh as when she dropped that bomb on me I asked her why's seeing as she hadn't talked to the guy in over a decade not to mention you know she passionately hugged him while we were married she keeps saying stuff like it's the right thing to do and she just wants to pay respects I can't stop repeating that I'm so hurt with that decision as he's had no part in her life in so long and I'm reliving all those sucky nights I was sure our family would be shattered and I would only see my daughter 50% of the time after some back-and-forth I put my effing foot down and told her no she cannot go I said it's so disrespectful to me in our marriage and we've been on silent treatment since then am I the butthole huh no Opie you are not the butthole I'm giving you zero out of five right off the bat your wife says it's the right thing to do no the right thing to do is to honor her marriage and she just wants to pay respects by disrespecting you and your marriage no man your wife has a full-blown five out of five buttholes that was our slash in my butthole and the last time I covered this topic a lot of people suggested that I put poles in the upper right hand corner of the video so people can vote as to whether or not the person is the butthole so here's to hoping that I remembered to do that when I set up this video

Channel: rSlash

Views: 891,932

Rating: 4.8818235 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, prorevenge, r/prorevenge, prorevenge posts, prorevenge funny, prorevenge fails, pro revenge, funny pro revenge, amitheasshole, r/amitheasshole, amithebutthole, r/amithebutthole, aita, r/aita

Id: SiMxpyAw5Eg

Length: 16min 21sec (981 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 03 2019