r/Nuclearrevenge I Made My Cheating Ex-Wife Pay Me $200,000!

welcome to our slash nuclear revenge where a cheating wife gets left with nothing our next reddit post is from [ __ ] inator Oh - apparently there was a thief who repeatedly broke into a Finnish man's cabin the owner got pissed so he bought some bear traps and put them across the inside of his cabin and left he thought that the thief would be able to open the closet be stepped on it well the thief didn't get a chance when the owner came back the next winner he saw the thief did on the floor with the calls around his crushed head apparently when he broke through the window he didn't go feet first like a normal person but he dove in headfirst the owner called the cops and they checked the crime scene out and because the bear traps were inside his cabin he didn't even get a warning if they'd been in his yard it would have been a different story I think it probably isn't the case that the thief dove in headfirst it's probably more likely that he broke in at night and just tripped or stumbled and kind of landed and hit his head on the trap and then died but either way holy cow what a miserable way to go having your skull crushed by metal spikes in a cold and desolate cabin out in the middle of nowhere I have to wonder if this guy died instantly or if he was screaming into an uncaring forest for hours until he died our next reddit post is from throw away I found my best friend's wife's secret social media account she was sleeping with one of our other friends I told my friend about it he just kind of shut down a few weeks later he told me never to tell anyone I knew she was cheating or that I knew about the account I would casually ask him how the two of them were every now and then always great every time I saw them together they were a happy couple nine months later he confessed he had lost everything they had to a gambling addiction a year before they both had cars that were a doff he had sold them and leased new cars the money he made selling them he quote lost to gambling their savings and 401ks were essentially gone all lost on gambling the condo they lived in was rented they had essentially no assets she immediately filed for divorce they had no kids similar incomes divorce was finalized without him owing alimony her cheating was never brought up she got all the furniture and pots and pans he kept his secret hoard of gold coins I don't know for sure but I'm guessing it's at least $200,000 worth the only thing that would make this story better is if this took place right before that giant climb and the prices of cold that happened a couple years ago Oh wouldn't it just be the cherry on top if he screwed his wife out of her half of the savings and then later on when he sold the coins for cash they were up to like 400 or 500 K value our next reddit post is from Asher morte just a little background to start off I was an exterminator for the better part of a decade and was only a few credits shy of a degree in entomology needless to say I know my stuff when it comes to anything one might consider creepy and/or crawly with all this being said I was a specialist for the absolute worst kinds of infestations I treated for bed bugs small cousins to ticks that only drank human blood I bet you think you know where this is going and just to cut you off no I never intentionally infested anyone in fact the revenge in this story isn't even for me it was for what turned out to be one of the sweetest women I have ever met for the purpose of the story we're gonna call her Mary she was a nurse in World War two I was called out to Mary's home by the management of the subsidized apartments she had complaining about a small bug issue what I found when I got there was not a small bug issue and it still haunts me a little to this a when Mary answered the door she was covered in bedbugs her hair her clothes even crawling on her hands without going into too much grisly detail about insect biology this isn't normal bedbugs don't like touching human skin and they don't hunt when people are up and moving this is why the bid is the most prevalent place to find them and thus the name I immediately called an ambulance waited on them to arrive and warn them about the very real possibility that any where they took her would be in severe danger of being infested if they didn't do something to decontaminate her the poor woman was suffering from anemia and it was luck of biology that she hadn't gone into toxic shock from the number of bites she had received when she was rushed off after having to be hosed off literally sprayed with a hose and having her clothes taken from her in semi-private revenge mode started bedbug treatments are expensive very expensive and I had made a lot of contacts with local Department of Social Services and the Adult Protective Services because of the amount of charity work I'd done every single one of them got a phone call subsidized apartments have rules including that they have to make routine checks for an infestation to get to that level it had gone unchecked for years she had been being eaten alive for years I called the local news warned every neighbor and collected statements about exactly how often the maintenance staff and management had entered the apartments once DSS and ApS was done I urged every single person who was put in jeopardy of the infestation to file civil suits and recommended a lawyer I'd done some work for in the past he was more than happy to take the cases as a class-action lawsuit by the end I had the manager of the apartments arrested for elderly abuse and neglect and the entire staff from the top down fired they had been falsifying paperwork saying they had been inside the apartment performing routine maintenance and generally scamming the government for services they didn't actually provide I visited Mary for a while after that checking in since it didn't seem like anyone else had in a long time she was a wonderful person and she never deserved to have to live like that her health recovered for a while but time eventually came for her I'll never forget her or forgive the people that allowed it to happen in the first place oh man that story was as gross as it was satisfying our next reddit post is from Lady guillotine back in 2008 I was in my sophomore year of college at a pretty huge art school in San Francisco I was recently single 26 year old female and deaf trying to mingle with a couple of the 20-something dudes in my classes new singleness also meant I was looking for some girlfriends to have single ladies night out instead of being the third wheel around the city so I get a bit chummy with this girl in one of my classes whoo I'll call Monica after that 90's brandy song the boy is mine a deep cut for you fellow olds Monica is really talented at the same things as me and we have a similar fashion sense we even have pretty much the same hair and makeup we hit it off really well and started hanging out around the city a month or so into our new friendship I disclosed to Monica that I have the hots for nerdy glasses guy in our class I tell her I've been a little shy about saying hi but wanted to ask him out for a drink she acts nonchalant about it all next day in class this ho cannot stop gushing all over a nerdy glasses guy and basically clinging herself to him I'm like yo what the F to her and she's like what do you mean all innocent I probably should have just ditched that mess right then but I was a naive and optimistic idiot she hooks up with nerdy glasses guy and I'm like forget him some more time passes and we end up getting some drinks after class again she asked me this time who are you into these days so I tell her I'm weirdly into no deodorant dude because his Musk is kind of manly this is true but also a test I have a feeling she's just a homewrecker looking to step in on every crush on my radar lo and behold this [ __ ] Monica ends up hooking up with no deodorant dude a week later I only found out because I actually got the nerve up to flirt with him and asked if he's seeing anyone he says Monica and I have a little thing that's new or whatever I was effing furious underneath the placid calm acceptance meanwhile another dude in our class and I have become art Bros I'll call him burning pisser I'm not really into burnin pisser in a hugging romantically way but we hang out after class and work on our projects together while shooting the breeze he tells me his piss has been burning for a couple of days and he's probably got the clap again for those of you who don't know the clap is chlamydia he's a real piece of work and constantly cheated on his girlfriend whenever they'd fight so he says they got into an argument and he went and passionately hugged a real hot mess and now his dick is sick Lowell of course I went ahead and asked Monica out for drinks that very night I gushed about how burning pisser was so hot and I wanted to date him and bla bla bla I really made it sound like I was about to have all his babies I knew this woman could not resist long story short too late she starts dating burning pisser pretty much immediately like within days so not only has she slid into my crush zone but she's home wrecking things for burning pisser's actual girlfriend look he's no saint either but he didn't go out of his way to steal my dudes anyways time goes on and I cannot believe the drama explosion going on here I'm getting the play-by-play from both sides and it was too good Monica tried to steal him away from his girlfriend one night by moving into his apartment without asking she arrived with a suitcase of her belongings and started setting up camp in burning pisser's place seizing the opportunity he passionately hugs her like crazy oh god how do I say this talks her into passionately hugging beneath an exit sign and when he's done has her suck his hugging apparatus hug to mouth she tries to get into cuddle mode but he's like nope burning pisser takes all her stuff out to his fifth floor balcony and throws it into this street suitcase clothes shoes toothbrush everything including the clothes she'd been wearing before they passionately hugged so she's screaming at him he's throwing all her stuff and then his girlfriend shows up she starts punching Monica and pushes her out of the apartment into the hall naked and locks the door to fight with burning piss her next Monica does the ultimate walk of shame to pick up her stuff off the street and cover her dizzy but before heading home couple days later burning pisser relates the story to me then adds he went to the clinic yep it wasn't chlamydia but gonorrhea in his hugging apparatus Monica tried to boohoo to me about it so I just told her yeah I wasn't really into him I just knew you'd passionately hug him if I said so and I hung up not sure if she ever figured out where she got the clap though then we have this perfect comment from magic sparkles down in the comments slow applause as in clap clap clap Opie I realized that this is our slash nuclear revenge but isn't biological warfare against the Geneva Convention or something that was cold our our next reddit post is from deleted this story was told to me by my friends dad he's a personal trainer and was training this guy in the gym who just got out of prison a couple months prior and told him his story it spread through the prison like wildfire about this man who got what was coming to him a man was convicted for raping and killing two girls a five-year-old and a nine-year-old he mutilated their bodies and traces of their DNA was found inside of them this was the worst of the worst and the other prisoners found this out within the first week of him arriving the man was only serving life but didn't get the death penalty this angered the other prisoners who decided to take revenge the prisoner started taking broomsticks from the janitor's closet and after collecting a few they went into his cell at night no one knew how the doors open but it was said prisoners had connections with the guards when the doors opened the prisoners went into the guy's room gagged him tied him up and proceeded to shove 14 broomsticks up his butt violently and forcefully the body was found in the morning bound and gagged it was said that he bled out over a period of hours a gruesome painful death for someone who deserved it how much of a disgusting human being do you have to be to make convicted felons hate you that was our slashed nuclear revenge and in case you're not aware I also have my videos available in podcast form you can find the link to my podcast down in the description

Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,705,960

Rating: 4.9109154 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, r/nuclearrevenge, nuclearrevenge posts, nuclearrevenge, nuclearrevenge funny, nuclearrevenge sad, nuclear, revenge, prorevenge, r/prorevenge

Id: 07tVNqPV6Kw

Length: 14min 57sec (897 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 13 2019