r/AmiTheA**Hole For Terrorising My Roommates?

g'day there guys dusting off bad memories and playing them on repeat in my head before I go to sleep every night back at it again with another episode of our /mi the a-hole now if you love this content like I love you I want you to sit back relax Chuck a prawn on the barbie and get ready for some bloody contentious questions posted by user dull Amy titled a may the a hole for terrorizing my roommates into cleaning up their crap so I live with two roommates 28 male and 21 female who were less than helpful when it comes to cleaning the house wet clothes are left in the washer for days on end food is left rotting in the fridge and in the sink for several weeks if I do not clean it they also just casually throw garbage into the yard I've asked nicely multiple times for them to clean their mess and even not so nicely a few times I am far from the most hygienic person in the world myself I'll leave dishes until the next day and just general untied eNOS but they take it to a different level all this filth since my refusal to clean it anymore has brought in some new roommates for us mainly giant-ass rats which seemed to have moved into our yard the kicker is they are both absolutely terrified of rats a plan soon hatched in my mind and with a bit of creativity some invisible threads and an old bristled broom I now have a third rat I named him Ronald's every few days or so for the past two weeks ish I have been placing it in the corner of the kitchen waiting for one of them to walk in then I yank Ronald as hard as I can at an angle so he shoots towards them each time they've ran from the kitchens screaming in fear I won't lie I very much enjoyed doing it at first but kind of felt guilty at having made a grown man bawl his eyes out and thought the lesson has probably been learned so I decided we had to have a house meeting about the infestation and how they don't feel safe in the home anymore personally I didn't feel safe with a pan of veggie rice rotting on the countertop for 12 days but hey-ho hey-ho I simply stated that if just cleaned up their junk the rats would most likely disappear lo and behold the place was spotless within an hour and since then there has been a lot less mess Ronald has been put into retirements and is resting in my bedroom ready to pounce if ever needed again but did I take it too far mmm that's a hard one I don't think you took it too far I think you took a chaotic neutral approach to solving the mess you didn't directly attack them he used your associate allowed rats to attack them on your behalf it's a pretty intuitive solution to the problem and you didn't cause too much harm to them besides maybe some you know PTSD from rats and potentially a heart attack or two but you know the ends justifies the means right Opie not the a-hole mal that's hilarious not the a-hole that's a harmless prank as far as I'm concerned and more than a fair trade for making you live in the filth not the a-hole this is hysterical and effective I love your creativity picture of Ronald please I repeat didn't give us a picture also don't tell your roommates I feel like they would have the complete lack of self-awareness to understand why that had to be done yeah don't tell your roommates they'll just double down on not cleaning and find other ways to make your life miserable as well the key to a good covert operation is never talking about it's posted by user gardening monster titled z' am I the a-hole for bringing my garden with me when I moved I female 25 have been renting a house since I was 18 for seven years when I moved in the backyard was a large piece of dirt with no lawn or anything just a decently big backyard with a fence all around it was a cheap but not great house but I signed because I wanted the backyard space over the past few years I erected a small garden shade greenhouse and pizza oven transporter balls planted lots of veggie gardens in big transportable garden bed and put down some nice pavers an aquaponic setup and generally made the backyard a really green and beautiful place to be it became the green oasis all my friends gathered adds a few months ago my landlord let me know that they were planning to sell and my final move out day was a week ago when I left I brought my garden with me to my new place nothing in my last backyard was directly planted into the ground and nothing permanent i dismantled the sheds and greenhouse loaded up all the pots and garden beds onto a truck and cleared the backyard in three days with lots of help my former landlords are furious over this and demanded that I returned the backyard to the former States apparently they'd listed the house for sale with pictures of the backyard and potential buyers were walking away from the house when they saw the barren backyard they're accusing me of stealing their plants and wrecking the backyard legally I'm fine my contract said I could garden and I have photos from the first real estate walkthrough before I moved in that show that the backyard was in the same state as I first found it although with more fertile soil now probably the same real estate agent signed off my final inspection and I got my deposit back I've received mixed responses there because I saw the landlord's taking pictures of my backyard before I left but didn't make the connection because in my honest opinion when pictures of a house has furniture in its you don't expect to also get free furniture some of my co-workers suggested that I am the a-hole because the house valuation certainly has fallen dramatically because I didn't tell them I was taking my garden with me so they couldn't plan to landscape before lockdown hits I'm gonna go with not the a-hole on this one you absolutely didn't have the intention to have that as a permanent fixture as it seems like you've been planning that for quite a while and I think that should make it apparent to the homeowners that hey this stuff can move anytime you haven't come up to me and discussed hey you know you bought all this but now that it's now garden it's our property so as the ancient saying goes assumptions make an ass out of you and me and you've made quite the ass out of these homeowners and they deserve what's happened to them Opie you keep doing you and bein fabulous not the a-hole this is a very classic story of landlord trying to benefits of home improvements paid for by the tenants if your landlord was honest he would have asked you how much he wanted to leave the garden as it was you owe him nothing this they can pay you for improvements they've allowed you to make overtime with your own money in fact a similar thing happened to me at my old apartments I was granted permission to repaint the concrete balcony I put some lush fake lawn some timber decking outdoor furniture hanging plants and fairy lights when the owners were selling they asked me how much to leave it as it is I set my price and was literally paid to move out win-win all around the fact they didn't take this route does not make you the a-hole good on your landlord's for recognizing the value in your improvements most people are not a-holes you just hear about the ones who are that is correct however most people are somewhat selfish and it is relatively rare for someone to volunteer to pay for something they think they might be able to get for free the balcony / yard difference is that a landlord might reasonably expect someone to take their items off the balcony but might not expect someone to dismantle their garden so I think a higher number of landlords would not even think of paying someone for the work put into a backyard because they would just function on the assumption that all work would remain in place when a tenant moved out not the a-hole not at all if the owners want the garden looking nice they pay up and put in the effort themselves their house value is not your responsibility and any decent landlord / owner will put money into a property after a long term tenant has been there just wanted to add that having the garden almost portable was a clever move from Rp super smarts also Opie moved in there at 18 and has been doing great they seemed like a cool person AM realtor and friends with many landlords they would be so lucky to get a tenant that takes care of and appreciates their like Opie Opie is a cool person Opie is writes Opie is not an a-hole and Opie is totally within her realm to give to landlord the double bird as she skips the hell out of that contract my landlady has told me in my boyfriend multiple times how grateful she is to have tenants that care about her property we also love gardening so I've done up what was a very plain gravel sized lawn garden into a nice green space everything is in large pots and we fully intend to take it all with us including the half wine barrel miniature ponds I can't imagine landlady getting angry at us for taking it when we go there my plant babies not the a-hole Opie posted by user throwaway sad guy titled z-- am I the a-hole for not marrying the girl I'm supposed to be and causing major problems for my family this will sound unbelievable to those not from my country all I can say is that it is real when I was five my parents brought my dad's friend's daughter X about three years old to live with me and my sister Y who was seven x's family was poor and couldn't support their children they had six so they sent X here because they really trusted my parents x y and i grew up together and my parents were awesome too all three of us I had a lot of fun growing up and I am extremely close to my family I'm now twenty-nine three years back I went abroad for my master's and then went back to my country there I met a girl P and we fell in love I'd like to propose soon and felt like this would be a good time to introduce P to my family y already knew of her and P just graduated this weekend I told my family that I would like for them to meet someone special and set up a video call no idea who they were expecting but when they realized P was my girlfriend everything just blew up apparently they had already discussed and arranged my marriage with X years back and she was the one I would have to marry X was aware her father had told her Q lots of screaming in yellow including some choice words from x2p about how she's a modern girl euphemism in my culture for a [ __ ] and how she must be after me for my money she comes from a richer family by the way I was just too shocked to react initially the next day I told my parents that I look at X as family they started saying ridiculous things like they have never let her into my room while apparently Y was allowed and drawing all sorts of other parallels between x and y trying to demonstrate why x wasn't like my sister they also said stuff like no one can understand me better than x and that she will keep the family together while p will alienate me from them they also told me I'm ruining the family x also cried non-stop and then shut herself in the room accusing me of not wanting her only because she was poor amongst other things she also said no one from her village would marry her now because her family has told everyone back home that she is going to be marrying me my sister was not aware of any of this either now I told X I don't care that no one will marry her from her village it is a likely possibility or that her life is quote unquote ruined I also told my parents I won't ruin my life for them to be able to keep their word X's father is coming to our house once he's able to transport restrictions are still in place but he had a long phone call with my parents I'm sure a lot of emotional blackmail is to follow and they already feel rather guilty about X because she's a nice girl my sister is on my side but even if my parents cut me off and at the risk of X ruining her life I am NOT going to go ahead with this at all am I the a-hole I'm a girl with a big fat no you're not the a-hole for breaking the bounds of a semi arranged marriage I'm not sure you were even aware that you were supposed to get married they can't decide who you get married to that's not a thing that should happen in my opinion at least I don't blame you for your reaction to all of this and if your parents cut you off then sew beards they can't force you to do something you don't want to do in adults not the a-hole edits a lot of people asking me where I'm from it's a Southeast Asian country just don't want to say if it's the exact place you guys are asking about X was apparently aware that I didn't know but she was told by my parents and hers that I'm a family man and will do the right thing so there's no need to worry she's basically accused me of wrecking the family - my sister is really upset on my behalf and also that she wasn't told any of this my sister's family her husband and his parents have said if there's any sort of confrontation they'll be there to back me up not sure if this detail counts but P is also from my country but also came abroad to study so that's not a reason as to why my parents are an accepting of P they just want me to marry X not the a-hole although to some extent it sounds like X is a victim here too so I think saying you don't care that no one will marry her from her village was a bit harsh she's obviously been given the impression that you were on board with the idea of marrying her your parents are at fault here if they didn't want you to see X as your sister they probably should have told you that a few decades ago plus I think he should let X know that he never knew about it and had he known he would have put an end to it years ago if she knew he didn't know then we know she is manipulative as the rest of his family if she didn't it allows her to deal with what happens I was really harsh I do agree but I am flabbergasted that she knew this was the plan but never even mentioned it once to me she's apparently known for a long time but I've had girlfriends even back in school and undergrad this just makes me believe she thought I'd just break up with all these girls and go for her in the end which makes me feel so weird hey stepsisters kidding she used to act coy around me and everything but I assume that's because she was awkward about not actually being related but did she know that you aren't aware that is the key here to understanding her in all of this I mean you are not the a-hole your family is however but this is to see if she is or is just a victim as well my sister is of the opinion that ex-new I was unaware apparently she's discussed marriage multiple times before with ex when they were younger like who would you want to marry which guy do you find cute type conversations and ex never once mentioned that she wants to marry me to her either sister believes it's likely that we both were kept out of the loop by my parents and ex's parents because they knew I'd not be okay with it and that if my sister came to know she'd tell me I do admit I've not asked ex directly if she was aware that I didn't know though not the a-hole I think you should talk to ex and explain that you never knew and explained that you do care what happens to her it sounds like to do after growing up so close but that it's your parents responsibility to care for her using their resources but you are not a resource to be freely given to whoever they want if it's scandalous for you to talk with her one on one maybe your sister could pass along the message if you trust her to deliver it accurately it sounds like your parents promised ex's parents that they would take care of her future and you are a part of the package I spent several years in a culture like this growing up and it's understandable from their perspective but you got out if you and P can help you use your social standing or anything to help get X matched up with a good guy I think it's worth a try it would be sad for her to be forced to marry a guy who doesn't treat her well again it's your parents responsibility to take care of her not yours so you really don't have to help and you definitely don't have to feel guilty for not marrying X and it's someone else mentioned the option of helping her get further education and that's brilliant again not opiez responsibility but if he wants her to help break the cycle too then it's worth looking into if she leaves and finds someone to marry at a university then she might be considered a wild woman by her village friends and family but she could have a much more fulfilling life of her choice posted by user environmental catch 48 titled ma the a-hole for telling my mother-in-law she needed to leave after she told my husband married a lemon my mother-in-law was over at our house and I've been feeling pretty bad lately I'm 18 weeks pregnant with a little boy I have three other children from a previous marriage and we have a ton of farm animals and dogs that I take care of during the day just taking care of the animals is a chore itself it involves shoveling bending pushing and lifting and often chasing something that makes a break for it since my kids often open the gates and forget to close it the children can also be a handful my two-year-old is very whiny and clingy and cries at the drop of a pen anyways I was folding some laundry in the living room and my husband and mother-in-law came in I hadn't seen my husband yet and he came over and gave me a kiss and asked me about my day I told him I was hiding in my back and was having some Braxton Hicks contractions so he said baby you don't have to do the laundry or cook dinner today I'll do it if you don't feel like doing anything at all when I come home I'll do it and you can just hang out with the kids and rest I thanked my husband and told him I would still fold the laundry but I would love if he would make dinner later that evening I was giving the kids a bath in the bathroom but I overheard my mother-in-law tell my husband that he married a lemon and he could probably do better than me angry I came out of the bathroom and told her she needed to leave the house my husband understands it hurt my feelings but my mother-in-law keeps calling me and leaving messages on how I was rude to her for kicking her out of her son's house am I the a-hole edits since I'm answering some of the same questions I'll type this out my son isn't a brats he's just - and acts - I also clean and make breakfast and lunch I don't just let the kids starve all day my children's dad left when my son was born because he was an NICU baby and he didn't want to deal with a sick baby he then ran off into the sunset with a younger childless woman I met my husband when my son was three months old we lived together before we got married he built the house but I helped pay for the land I'm laid off at the moment to coronavirus my husband and I just married last month but we've been together for longer than that my husband is very kind and gentle and he didn't have time to respond to his mom as I came out almost immediately when I heard it because I'm hormonal and was tired and it hurt my feelings I don't know why there is what relevant questions but there you are good on European good on you for standing up for yourself that's despicable disgusting behavior that shouldn't be accepted in today's society oh you married a lemon because she has three kids you can do better actually shut your mouth the mother-in-law probably knows full well the circumstances of our peers life probably knew that the husband walked out on her fair enough we don't know the complete story we have this version of events but I'm more inclined to believe her with the three kids who's had a man abandoned his family dear Lord that is not a good situation to be put in especially in a time like now RP you sound like a saint your husband sounds like a very lucky man to have you and I'm so grateful that you found happiness that mother-in-law can go kick rocks pound send and get tackled by an emu for all I care you're not the a-hole dear Lord I'm already on team not the a-hole from the title but hold on did your mother-in-law say her son's house not you know the house that both of you live in the house that is also your house is she delusional does she think that your husband is the lord of the manor and that you're not his equal you'd catch me singing to the mother-in-law this house is his house this house is my house but either way ma'am it sure is not your house greetings communist comrade I just like to remind you that your karma is my karma and your rewards are my awards for come over not the a-hole who criticizes a pregnant woman in her own house a pregnant woman with a toddler on a farm plus two other children she's 18 weeks pregnant with a little boy and three other children for total plus a farm so she has four hungry children and a crop in the fields I don't get the reference I don't get it posted by user just barge right in titles am I the a-hole for kicking my roommate out for something that our friends did I am a 37 year old man and my roommate is an early thirties woman I rent a two-bedroom house and it had a spare room so I decided to look for a roommate last year I had a couple of people interested but a friend asked me for a favor and I let her move in she pays about 30 percent of the rent because that's all she can afford my roommate has one particularly good friend who she invites over regularly I do not like that woman adds all she is loud self-centered and has no concept of boundaries property or privacy she has accidentally eaten my food and drunk maybe uh several times when she came over and I have voiced my opinion about her to my roommates regularly my roommates response has always been as long as I'm paying my part of the rents the company I keep is between them and me on Saturday nights she invited her friend over as I often am in my room I was completely naked lying over my covers reading a book I'd like being naked and expect a reasonable amount of privacy from civilized people man I thought I was the only one that did that when my roommates was in the bathroom my door flew open like it was rammed by a siege engine her friend had barged in to surprise me and instead of frantically apologizing for violating my privacy and seeing me naked she burst out laughing as I fumbled to cover myself by now my roommate had come out of the bathroom and her friend shouted I saw his little pecker my roommate snort laughed loudly the next morning my roommate was hungover and so I told her that her time in this house was over and that she had a month to vacate I looked up the laws in my States and since I'm the only person on the lease I can legally kick her out as long as I give her proper notice she told me that she wanted roommate about privacy after what happened and I told her I don't care at all she brought that woman into the house she was entertained by my embarrassment and I wasn't comfortable living with her for another day I told her if it were legal I'd kick her out that seconds my roommate has been nasty with me all week saying that she has nowhere to go I don't care and keep telling her that she might want to start looking our mutual friend who I originally did the favor for has sided with her completely and so I just blocked him am I going too far here or am I not the a hole in this case I wouldn't describe your actions as being in a hole I'm just saying that you're very forward and you're like burning everything and I love it it's like a bloody minefield going off and which is watching the fireworks Opihi really do be a savage right now and you're doing everything right you're doing what everyone in the shower wishes they had the courage to they're like dammit why didn't I do that god I could have been sir hurt direct imagine the look on their face now if we reverse the roles as we always do in situations like this imagine the amount of charges you'd get as a man walking in on a woman like that imagine how shut down you would be on social media the shame you'd get from your friends if you did that just because the roles are reversed in this situation doesn't make it okay for her to do that and I'm sure if it was the other situation the police would be there instantly taking that man out and it would be completely justified I say burn those bridges as fast as you can and don't look back they did you so dirty so dirty and you deserve to live worryfree without that nasty woman in the house not the a hole not the a hole your roommate is responsible for her guests behaviour stealing by her friend would have been enough to kick her out but laughing at you instead of kicking her friend out after she treated you like that was far out of line she doesn't deserve better she enabled her friends to make you feel unsafe for your privacy in your own home and nobody has to live like that it's just the consequences of her actions in my opinion she's welcome to go move in with the rude friend and leave the nude friends not the a-hole you might want to make sure you and her the notice by email too so you had written proof she had it so you can legally change the lock and dump herself on the street in a month if she hasn't done anything about getting another place that's a really good idea I just sent her one just stating that I was officially telling her to vacate the house not just a good idea legally required in most states everything needs to be in writing physical writing you don't have to specify a reason date and sign what you send hand it to her personally and make sure she reads it but first check whether your state requires service by certified mail isn't an email writing I think they meant it's not only a good idea but that it's also legally necessary otherwise I'm at a loss as well no apparently nots ran into this with my landlord he refused to acknowledge via email so I had to send by a mail and he acknowledged the next day posted by user love my dogs titles am I the a-hole for refusing to support our daughter after she gives birth that's not very cash money how do you love your dogs if you're gonna do that I'm not going to go into real detail but essentially my 27 female daughter has recently said some very racist things since she married a husband she seems to have changed as a person and is much more distant and vicious towards the family things came to a head last weekend at our first big family get together since covered when she said that our eldest daughters adopted son who is black he was adopted because our eldest and her husband are unable to have children wasn't really part of the family that's a yikes from me dog and that God didn't mean for you eldest daughter to have children just accept what he gave you and stop forcing your options referring to the son on the rest of us ah that's a big hikes from me dog what the hell our eldest and her son were devastated and some very heated words were exchanged before my 27 year old daughter and her husband stormed out now recently our 27 year old daughter has announced that she is pregnant she and her husband were planning on moving in to the cottage in our property after the baby is born so my wife and I can help out for the first year during this time our daughter doesn't plan on working and has been clear that she expects us to contribute to our financial costs during the year we had a similar arrangement with our eldest when she was trying for a baby and our son and his wife also spent six months living in the cottage after their twins were born however after discussing with my wife we feel that this would make the rest of the family uncomfortable with visiting us obviously eldest and her son no longer want to come over while 27 female and her husband are here and our sons latina wife has also expressed her discomfort around 27 female and her husband and we are uncomfortable supporting people who were so blatantly racist we told our daughter last Thursday in his erm chats about our decision and she blew up at us demanding to know why she wasn't allowed to express her option or opinion and arguing that we aren't black so why should we care my wife became very upset and closed the chat and has refused to speak to my daughters since and she is blaming herself for not raising her better a we the a-holes young edits thank you so much for your kind responses I've tried to read all the comments with this blow-up overnight however some general things one hour 27 female daughter assumed she could live with and be financially supported by us in the year after her child was born because our eldest went through significant financial hardship when she was trying to have a baby due to paying for IVF and fertility treatments and is a results almost ended up harmless because they remortgaged their house to afford it but then her husband was in a car accident and needed time off work meaning they were unable to pay their mortgage and the bank claimed their home can anyone tell me if Opie knows what a full stop is - I don't know what I can say to convince you this is real yes this is from a throw away because my main account has part my real name on it and both my 27 female daughter and my son and his wife are familiar with it there were three edits to this post originally it included a couple of paragraphs about how our 27 female daughter made some homophobic comments about my wife's brother getting married to another man and also some statements she made towards the black lives matter movement however that post was over the 3,000 white counts and I decided to remove them as they aren't applicable to the current situation and I want to focus more on our immediate family issue rather than getting into a big LGBT slash black lives matter arguments what I reposted it's the post was removed because this is not a debate sub so I changed the title and reposted it as it is 3 my wife and I have been supporters of the black lives matter movement since before we got married 33 years ago I came from a very racist family who disowned my older sister for marrying a black man and then kicked me out as a 16 year old for sneaking out of the house so I could go to my sister's wedding we haven't really been LGBT supporters we haven't been anti LGBT just not a part of the rallies and donations until my wife's brother came out a few years ago and since then we have made more of an effort to go to the parades and donation to things like The Trevor Project second edit to say that our 27 year old daughter will not be homeless if we don't support her for the year following the birth it was just supposed to be an opportunity for her to spend time with us as otherwise they will live two hours away as far as I'm aware they owned their home outright and her husband is financially well-off enough to support her during this time without our help also our adoptive grandson is only nine sir a bit young to understand why some parts of the family don't like him whoa you've spelled it out right there okay Europe e you're definitely not the a-hole I think we've made that one very clear here what has gone wrong in this woman's life that she's turned to down this dark path I want to make all the jokes in the world but this is not a laughing matter that it's despicable behavior and I'm surprised the entire family hasn't cut her out for these disgusting actions dear Lord I know you people down in the comments are an advocate for cutting someone out of your life but come on someone this intense that is willing to be that vindictive and argumentative and not change their ways is it worth having someone like that in your life or do you cut your losses if it were me I'd fight it and I'd call them out at every opportunity if I continued to keep them in my life because it's not okay to hold those views it's just not so Opie absolutely don't let her live in your house she's got a husband that wants to support her and keep her in a little echo chamber and so beards keep being awesome Opie you're not the a-hole I love you I love what you stand for thank you for donating to those causes it's amazing to see not the a-hole you don't owe your daughter anything here actions always have consequences while she may be technically allowed to share her opinion that doesn't mean that others are not allowed to react to it she has to live with the consequences of her actions and you and your wife are well within your rights to decide that your home and financial supports and no longer open to her she announced that she believes your grandson is not a part of the family and that's a terrible thing to say no matter the circumstances you're allowed to be hurt and to react I'd like to add a little to this response you can't blame yourself for your daughter's behavior racism is learned and your other daughter is evidence that you didn't teach her racism you said that she changed after she got married that's probably the source family is no reason to accept others beliefs that you find morally reprehensible more addition to this you are being excellent parents by teaching her actions have consequences as my 65 year old mother says about her two 40-something kids with kids of our own you start parenting but you never stop teaching through your own actions and example edits yep yep guys yours what they are doing is exactly what people mean when they say to speak up and not accept the racism of others when someone shows how racist they are the easiest thing you can do is drop them that daughter can now learn that if she is going to be racist her family won't tolerate her or her beliefs don't forget that your behavior in this situation will also affect your grandson immensely I'm not sure how old he is but if you allow your daughter to remain in the family spewing hate at your black grandson and he sees that behavior being tolerated by his grandparents this decision may scar him for life what this would communicate to him is that he is not as deserving of love and respect even if that's not your intention absolutely this if he feels his grandparents don't stand up to his races don't he may not trust you or feel safe to be himself around you and would feel these not part of the family put your words into actions definitely not the a-hole for fighting racism in your family am I the a-hole for calling all men Kevin I'm the only woman in my workplace of about 50 people mostly this is okay except for the sales team they're mostly younger men who will turn anything into one of two things a PP measuring contest or a very obnoxious joke they have jumped on the Karen meme with both feet both hands and a duck the only issue is that they don't just use the name Karen to talk about someone who is behaving in that snobbish I want to talk to your manager kind of way they use it for all women woman standing in line Karen hairdresser full of women crowd of Karen's old a woman getting on the bus ahold Karen a couple of female kids looked about eight or nine years old in their brownie uniform doing litter picking up with a group little Garen's resultantly all women equal Karen and Karen equals deserving of ridicule and mockery and thus we have ended up at all women equals deserving of ridicule and mockery and I ignored it at first figuring that it wouldn't last and they'd move on to something new as they normally do but it's been months and they're still doing it an attempt at a light-hearted conversation I tried with one of them pointing out that maybe it was problematic got me unsurprisingly called a Karen sir I started calling all men Kevin when I am in earshot of one of them including them and when I'm referring to them I really go all outs like make it a really loud nasal whine and draw the word out especially if they're ticked off about losing a sale oh it's Kevin having a bad day this apparently is a lot funnier than their Karen line so other people have picked it up and run with it so now sales are ticked and telling me I'm the a-hole I don't think I am and I'm planning on letting it run for maybe a week or so after they drop the Karen thing then I'll drop it am either a halt by the way management are as useful as an underwater hairdryer so have done sweet freak all throughout all of this job hunting is underway but nothing so far edit for info we don't have HR or rather we do but it's a third party we've contracted out to and on such east Cheapskate rates pretty much all they do is handle payroll we are an IT service provider sir we don't have customers or clients in the office most of the time and while this sort of back and forth is tolerated as Banta anything that even hinted at a lawsuit would get me blacklisted from the industry I am nowhere near retirement age I can't afford that and yeah I will admit that I am NOT a big fan of the sales team while this is the longest-running crap they've pulled it is definitely nowhere near the most obnoxious no I would not say that you're the a hole in this situation you're just firing back with your own meme and it's turned into a full-out meme war with casualties on all sides you've risen from the ashes as the victor in this one and the cabins are not happy so they're retaliating with salty tears and you're firing back with with a big stone hard wall and being like I ain't takin this so good on you you know at the a-hole they are not the a-hole don't dish it out if you can't take it Kevin's went lie I'm stealin Opie's idea for all the Kevin's out there my name is Kevin I love and encourage this ah poor you did you ever hear about the research when teachers graded essays and the grade was affected by the name I heard the jokes about the name it's not a name it's a diagnosis etc I personally have never felt any discrimination but I'm really interested in that research I read a lot from a young age which helped me in writing essays so I almost always got good grades I only remember being graded badly for my female classmates based on the essay subject once apparently it's actually a thing I never knew about this it wasn't necessarily bad grades but if Harry wrote the essay he got a nine out of ten but a Kevin would get an eight out of ten so consistently lower I have to dig into my books to find the research but I was just so shocked because I had this bias that people discriminate towards foreign names and Kevin is just as West European and American as it can get here's a link to the paper you can probably just write that down if you want to read it they go into a summary about it but it's what you'd expect this is hilarious and deserved not the a-hole that's hilarious I love it however once you made your point you may want to turn it down before little Kevin goes crying to Karen about the main Karen not the a-hole but that won't stop the repercussions when HR does eventually get involved if HR gets involved what should they do to protect the company there's disruption sent it around one employee is it easier to deal with the employee or a large group sales is who brings in the money is it better for the company's bottom line to disrupt sales or whatever individual position you may have yes I'm cynical about HR doing the right thing when they can damn well do the easy thing especially a third-party cut-rate H are posted by user the lackadaisical titles am I the a-hole for rubbing my belly I am 28 female 6 months pregnant and in the first in my family to be pregnant my family has reacted weirdly towards my pregnancy so far but this is a whole new level I'm wondering if I'm the a-hole or not being this far along I'm constantly feeling the baby moving inside me she presses on my bladder and makes a ruckus in there I found that gently rubbing my belly up and down over my clothes calms her and keeps her from jabbing my insides with her feet due to covent I haven't been able to see my parents until last weekend so far it's just been me and my fiance celebrating the pregnancy so I was excited to show them pictures of my ultrasound and catch up my sister's 30 female and 28 female came over to visit while I was at my parents house we were sitting around and chatting when I felt the baby start to act up so I absent-mindedly began to rub my belly my sisters both gave me a look like I was doing something disgusting they asked me why I was rubbing my belly and told me to stop after I explained they said it made them uncomfortable I obliged in stops thinking they were just being weird an hour later I was grilling with my fiance and was rubbing my belly again my older sister saw and snapped at me she told me to stop it was weird and I looked like Buddha rubbing his guts it was offensive but I stopped to keep the peace I just wanted to have a good time later we went out for ice cream before I got in the car my twin sister who is also pregnant but not showing yet stopped me and made me promise not to rub my belly in the car she said loudly to make my older sister laugh I guess no belly rubbing Buddha's in my car I said okay I just wanted ice cream while standing in line for the ice cream I began absent-mindedly rubbing my belly again my sister saw snapped and shouted the laksa days ago stop that's so weird every one of the ice cream joints turned around and stared at me it was so embarrassing before leaving for home I asked my mum what my sister's problems were with me my mum said it was the belly rubbing and it was weird my fiance had my back and explained that it comes the movements and it's completely normal for me to do that my mum said I was being over-reactive and to imagine how hard it must have been for her when she was pregnant with twins this still didn't answer my question but my mom told me to be normal around my sisters and to stop being so sensitive I feel weird because I thought I wasn't doing anything wrong so reddit's a mighty big bellied a-hole no you are not the big bellied a-hole you're the big bellied Saints and we should all praise you for your child calming abilities I'm sure a lot of people would love it to be that easy I guess in pregnancy I'm sure there's some karate artists in the worm that don't give up whenever they're kicking in they're like yo your hands ain't gonna stop me BAM liver BAM your sisters really need to understand where you're coming from it just seems like they're ignorant and they're unwilling to accept your point of view on this and be like oh she's rubbing a bell because she doesn't like being kicked from the inside god I don't like looking at that that's disgusting I asked you comments section how often would you see a pregnant woman in public rubbing her belly and you think Oh what what's wrong with her you freak no that's not a normal mindset to have it's stupid these siblings are stupid the mom is stupid for enabling its Opie you keep on rubbing on edits I'm humbled by the power of reddit's thank you all so much for your reassurance and advice I realize now that my actions were normal but my family has some issues they need to walk through on their own I'm not going to waste my time trying to figure out their problems I'm gonna keep on rubbing my belly and enjoying myself maybe I'll update later after the baby arrives thank you all again love Big Buddha belly not the a-hole um I'm really confused what you did was normal that's what I thought too I have no idea what their problem is especially since my twin sister is pregnant teria it's so weird it's perfectly normal it's part of the bonding process and a way for you to protect her it also relaxes you and baby and helps alleviate discomfort from stretching and carrying an actual human being inside you your family are wrong in so many ways rub that beautiful belly mama rub it whenever and wherever you are and tell anyone who has a problem with it to back the hell off also the skin is stretching and it itches I mean how can they even walk down the street or do a grocery shopping if they're sensitive to such things what if they've here a fork scratching a plates what if they saw a dog eating another dog's poop there will be that old guy showing his very big belly whatever there will be this guy with a piece of boiled egg in his beard loudly chewing his sandwich on the morning bus a woman with disgusting village manicure sitting next to them and mcdhh up but their sister rubbing her baby belly is an issue rights not a whole your sisters usually temper tantrum throwing Raiders because they sound insane who cares if you rub your belly constantly or scratch your elbow how is it any of them business if they have a problem they can stop watching they are definitely characters they have been so weird since I got pregnant what makes it even stranger is that my twin is pregnant - is it an attention thing not wanting to share the limelight it's so strange and I'm kind of stumped why your mother is going off the deep end with them it's amusing that your sister made a scene in this store like a toddler because she was embarrassed by you did she forget her manners regress to childhood perhaps were I you I would tell them next time I will be rubbing my belly I don't care what you think because it's not any of your business this is a you problem figure out how to deal with it's both of my sisters in my opinion a weirdly attached to their childhoods and my mum whenever we're together we only talk about childhood memories any other topics are disregarded my overanalyzing self says that they're weirded out by me growing up and changing the norm of the family I don't know though when you're rubbing your belly are you lifting up your shirt and getting up old in there are you moaning is your belly rubbing more akin to a vigorous cleaning motion if not consider starting establish dominance okay and that goes for you too my thick boys in the chats you two posted by user looping knots titled am i the a hole for not including my recently divorced ex-wife on a family trip ten months ago my wife of 15 years explained to me she had interest in a co-worker so I left it up to her to decide whether to open up our marriage I figured it was just an exploratory phase you know like something she would have a change of heart about after five months of being miserable with her going off with him nearly every weekend I expressed to her I wanted to look for someone else she replied that it would only push her to the other man nonetheless I started seeing someone and after the first day of me seeing someone else my wife wanted a divorce oh my god says damn we have officially been divorced for a week we have three kids together we are also living together for the time being while she and her boyfriend are closing on a house together recently our family's friend's wife contacted me and invited me and the kids to join her family on a trip I planned on taking my girlfriend along with us I explained to the family friend that if my family were to go in the kit trip my kids mother would not be going they acknowledged and figured that was going to happen realistically there is no room for two extra people personally I have no interest in going on a trip with her and the men she left me for she said she was hurt that my girlfriend is going in her place and that she was ousted so soon no you deserved that she suggested that it could just be me her and the kids as per usual before our divorce while our papers were signed a week ago I am ready to settle into my new normal am I the a-hole for not including her what crevice of Batman's cave did this weird mentality crawl out from dear Lord yeah I want you to go alone without your girlfriend on this family trip while I take my new boyfriend who I had for five months and broke up with you instantly when you found someone else because I was too you know a sensitive to deal with my emotions like a proper human being and ended five months ago so yeah how about we just you me and the kids and I'll sneak him later into the trip and at that point you'll be trapped with us anyway so it's not like you can do anything about it you're not the a-hole for not including her take the girlfriend along you have the power in this one o.p love that love you continue being awesome edits my oldest is 14 and is known about basically everything from the beginning my younger two and nine and ten both had suspicions about their mother's relationship with the boyfriend before finding out the gory details mine was a tidy secret until that point once the younger two learned the truth they made the decision as to when they met my girlfriend's this has been two months today the conflict for me falls to the other family haven't been our friends for 14 years also the desire for things to remain healthy as possible between my ex and myself for the sake of the kids my ex hopes to still do things like this together as family and in the future maybe we can but right now I don't think I could stomach it I explained this to my ex and she seems to be heartbroken at the notion she is crying and I just feel irritated kind of makes me feel like an a-hole this situation is centered around myself into my ex the kids are actually doing pretty well added to I spent five months doing everything I could think of to save us she spent five months leaving me at home with the kids lie after lie and zero cramps given about my feelings the exact moment I said efforts was when she didn't want me to attend her office Christmas party as I have every year for over a decade her reasoning was she didn't want her co-workers to think she was a [ __ ] sounds like to me she was pushing a narrative that I was no longer in the picture that was the moment I realized where I stood and that being faithful to her was a waste my girlfriend walked into my life three days later the hypocrisy and insanity that followed were truly unbelievable after her initial immediate demands for divorce she decided that we should start working on our marriage step one was ditch my girlfriends mind you I had known her for a week and had no real ties to her nothing to say about how she would end her five-month relationship with a man she works 40 hours a week with and that is centric to her friend group I may or may not be the a-hole for excluding her from this trip but I'm not asking about the demise of the marriage just gets Messier the more you read into it doesn't it te Lord she is hot garbage not the a-hole she wasn't technically invited if I'm reading this rights also Big Y accident being okay for her to indulge in your new open marriage but not you she can't see her hypocrisy and double standard she always justifies it by saying she and her boyfriend check all of each other's boxes great for her then but she no longer checks all of your boxes most importantly the trips away box she cannot have her cake indeed - that strips away bucks got me damn it [Laughter] not the a-hole she should have thought of that before deciding to pursue another man she is not being ousted because she's literally looking to move into a house with her boyfriend she has a whole new life and seems to be just fine when you aren't going on a vacation exactly he did not ask her she left him she wants to have her cake needed to tear it stop saying that he can't seem to ask her fast enough like she keeps leaving him without actually you know leaving found a new dude didn't leave found a new house didn't leave hell she found out about the trip now she wants back in I mean for God's sake woman Marta complex I'm fudging someone else but if you do it I'm gonna leave and it'll be your fault I've left you but woe is me you're not taking me on vacation with you these comments got long but this one just came up and it's actually really good not the a-hole your family and you were invited she's the ex so it doesn't count as a real family member anymore and is not amused that she is now excluded girl this is your price for playing a stupid game she can have an open marriage but when you want the same that's a reason for divorce what by the way ex and boyfriend are living in your house so before you leave for this trip collect all important documents bank stuff expensive jewelry and put it in a newly rented safe-deposit box and take photos of how your house looked until now you are very accommodating to her but I guess as soon as you all leave and she is alone with the boyfriend reality will hit home and nobody knows what she will do then this post really should be higher up the opie needs to protect himself given how entitled her ex has already been and yeah I wanted to include that one because that's a very good point we don't know what this woman's going to do better safe than sorry especially given her past actions and that's just a heads up for any of you guys if you ever find yourself in a situation like this posted by user get off my Beach titles am either a halt or I guess are we for making a family that is trespassing on my property uncomfortable 26 male my boyfriend and I live in a lake house I have two brothers and Dell father has been in the picture since I was 15 and my boyfriend's father left him and his mom when he was really young my brother's at 24 and 21 the 24 year old has a girlfriend who I think is 23 my brothers in the girlfriend came to spend the weekend with us we have lakefront property and a little probate beach area we have signs up that states it is private property to deter trespassers and cameras that monitor the beach this afternoon we had been taking a break after going on jetski rides my youngest brother was helping me cook lunch and my other brother and his girlfriend had decided to go down to the beach they came back up and told me that there were people on our beach they'd asked them to leave but they didn't my boyfriend went down to investigate and apparently there was a whole boatload containing five adults and four kids he again asked them to leave and told them that it was private property they refused so he called the police and ate lunch as we waited for the police to come over an hour has gone by and the police haven't showed up he had been planning to go down to the beach after lunch so we decided to go down and try and annoy the family into leaving we played music with explicit lyrics nothing too bad but still brought down alcoholic drinks and played drinking games we purposely and out of character acted rowdy not putting a filter on what we said my boyfriend and I who were not ones for PDA kept holding hands making out and stuff because there was a good chance this group of people was homophobic we live in the south this is just a coked-up version of the Jerry show they're like Jerry Jerry Jerry but instead of them being the crowd it's like the whole group of people on stage like tackling each other making out the cameras are getting in their face security guards are being pushed back and they're like well yeah whoo you're not the father you're not the father whoa sorry about that after a while the group got fed up and left before the group left one of the women yelled at us shame on you people for ruining what was supposed to be a nice Father's Day for my husband and brother we just wanted a good day on the lake and didn't need to witness frat boys gone wild no Beth no music Dave I shrugged and said I mean this is my property my family and I can do whatever in the hell we want on it next time do as you're told and stay the Frick away the adults in the group looked disgusted one of the men looked like he was about to yell at us for what we said but instead they just drove off the police came much later and obviously weren't any help as we discussed what happens my brother's girlfriend mentioned that what we did was immature and kind of rude and we could have handled it better well we the a-holes for the pure comedic value alone that this created for me as a Jerry Springer stage fight absolutely you are not the a-holes that's hilarious I applaud you for the dramatics for putting on such a beautiful display Thank You Opie you guys is Saints in the modern worlds and they deserved that for intruding on you guys I'm sure the police could have done it much more effectively but you guys did it in a time efficient manner and got rid of them so quick that the police weren't even needed so you're not the a-hole simply for the efficiency that you solved this problem I applaud you good sir not the a-hole they're the ones trespassing honestly they're lucky that you're not the type that would come down brandishing guns and demanding that they get off your property clearly they weren't going to leave and honestly what you did was likely one of the least dramatic ways to resolve this if the police came and the people refused they could have ended up spending the day in jail or paying fines for breaking the law not the a-hole the entitlement on some people is mind-boggling to me if this happened by accident to me and I was told I was trespassing I wouldn't be able to apologize enough while packing my things and leaving as quickly as I can this right here apologize for the misunderstanding and get the hell out I mean if you can solve a problem by making out drinking beer and playing music you resolved the situation as diplomatically as possible and for the DND fans we found the bard definitely not the a-hole it's your property and they were trespassing I guess it could have been handled better but I don't think that makes you guys the a-holes just curious how would you have handled it I think you guys handled it perfectly bonus that you all let loose and had a lot of fun you should have said like we said this is private property and we skinny-dip as well and if one of you has no shame careful Monty [Laughter] someone reckons don't do this easy way to end up on a list but it's private property and I disagree oh my god Lowell you're not the king just because you are inland a crime is a crime that's why you got to dig deep halls [Laughter] am I the a-hole for abandoning a little girl that I'm supposed to look after this happens in 2015 I went to the mall to have an early lunch with my friends wrap around a bits visit some arcade and play in the internet cafe I was first to come right when the doors open seemed that my friends aren't here yet I decide to hang out at the food courts I open up my laptop and play total war Shogun 2 after about 15 minutes this kid approaches me she was watching me play the game and I don't mind as long as she doesn't bother me then her mother came this woman looks pretty arrogant and somewhat rich I think like the type who would marry a man for his money and spending the money like it was coming out of his anus anyway she was telling her daughter that they need to go shopping the kid didn't budge because she was very fascinated with the game the kid was rather whiny about it she asks me if I can watch over her child while she goes shopping telling me that it'll take half an hour she was saying all of this in English as if she were a fancy foreigner I respectfully decline explaining to her that at any moment I'll receive a phone call from my friends and won't stay here that long she was insistent and put a 100 peso on the table in front of me and then quickly walks away before I try to tell her that I'm not accepting this responsibility whatever free money since the girl is still watching the battle in the screen unfolding and is very well behaved I suppose it's not that bad there's a possibility that me and my friends might eat here in the food court so I decided to return to the game and wait for the woman 30 minutes have passed and the woman is nowhere in sight but still no phone call from my friend sir I keep playing then over half an hour had passed my phone rings answering it's my friend Jaden not his real name by the way is telling me that they're at Pizza Hut's and I happily say that I'll be there as I packed up my laptop I saw the girl looked disappointing feeling a little bad that I'm just going to leave I gave her a 150 peso notes and told her that there's quantum arcade not too far from here she happily takes it and went her merry way a mite a hole for leaving that girl all alone um yeah there's you know entitled parents is a world of fantasy I'm sure this might be too but dear lord dear lord if this is true if you are or my who's a special layer of health are you to go to buddy and also for that mother I don't think it's every day bro that everyone just abandons a kid like that come on you suck and the mum sucks everyone sucks er that kid needs a new family update thinking about it now I definitely should have left her with a security guard or at least taken her to the quantum arcade there's a lot of security cameras there and at least one security guard of the entrance and tell him the situation to ease your worries the girl is fine after about 1 p.m. after finishing our pizzas we go to the internet cafe and when I saw was the girl was already reunited with her mother who was talking to her phone looking very angry they didn't spot me but I still hid behind my friends everyone sucks eeeh you should have immediately taken the child to security or if there was no mall security he could have called the police agreed it's not his responsibility but you can't just leave a kid by themselves should have talked to security or police before he left to meet up with his friends but CPS should be called she left her daughter with some strange kid in fur how old was this little girl it's not your responsibility to look after a stranger's child but if she was only little may be telling a member of staff or something might have been the smart move about 11 or 12 I think I didn't bother to Vaska sorry you made us sound like she was around four to five years old most 11 to 12 year olds don't need constant supervision though I still feel bad that I didn't at least tell an employee to keep an eye on her me unless it was an Hermes store or something I wouldn't worry about it posted by user someone something rather titled am I the a-hole for being mad at my husband for staying out until midnight when he left at 6 p.m. said he'd only be out for a few drinks oh my god haven't we all been there tonight while I'm feeding our two-year-old daughter dinner my husband asks if he can go out for his friend's birthday for a few drinks it's still a pandemic so I make sure he'll be drinking outside and keeping social distancing but say sure go ahead he leaves the house around 6 p.m. isn't that sure go ahead like fine it's a trap it means he pet it not you very not I you're in trouble at 8:20 I asked for an update he says we haven't been serve dinner yet apparently since he didn't eat at home I should have assumed he was getting dinner along with the drinks fine I asked where he's eating and he's at a fancy place we've never been to I can't remember the last time we went to a fancy dinner together let alone the last time I even went to a restaurant at all since it's a pandemic and they've only started opening restaurants back up this works me because it would be nice if we went back out for the first time together still fine an hour later he texts me he's paying the bill it's 9:30 p.m. now and I assumed since he's paying the bill he'll be home around 10:00 p.m. the restaurant is 20 minutes away when I haven't heard from him by 10:00 I asked for an update he says he's leaving now 10:30 rolls around so I call him no answer I called two more times and no answer 10 minutes later he calls me back and says his friend just wanted a smoke he'll leave soon I tell him he can sleep in the guest room he finally gets home around 11:30 p.m. when he gets home he doesn't apologize and wonders why I'm upset he actually takes a turn with me maybe I wouldn't be annoyed if this was a one-time occurrence but before the pandemic this happened once a month or sir we're not kids anymore we're both in our 30s is it too much to expect him not to stay out past 10:00 p.m. on a work nights he does happy hours after work goes golfing on the weekends and then stays out until midnight hanging out with friends on a work night when I'm waiting for him like to come home I never do any for myself and I feel like I'm inconveniencing him when I asked to maybe I'm missing something I think he's the a-hole but am I the a-hole um I guess my judgment here is you might be the a-hole although I don't blame you for taking that attitude with him because he's kind of escaping the kids and escaping responsibilities with you like all the time sounds like he's pushing his boundaries and pushing the envelope too much because he knows he can get away with it which is a common behavior that we do see in couples and relationships so you got to crack the whip like you have been you but you're cracking the whip has seems to be a bit more passive-aggressive I think you need to go with the aggressive route and be like Yelp no not until we work out a fair share of who gets to go out and who stays here okay we got a two-year-old daughter to be looking after you can't be like a 20 year old that's just graduated school and you're like yeah I'm out the boys we're gonna go partying I I get where she's coming from but being passive-aggressive and not solving the issue makes you the a-hole too because it's not getting anywhere it's just reflecting poorly on both of you as parents of your two year-olds edits thank you to everyone who responded especially those who are supportive and understanding of my feelings as well as his after reading all of these comments some pretty hurtful I realized that I too was in the wrong this morning I went into the guest room and apologized to my husband he apologized to me as well for some additional background I do feel like I do all the childcare and have expressed to him multiple times but I don't put my foot down and make time for myself like I should he isn't always home at 11:30 p.m. either there have been nights when he's home at 2:00 a.m. and he hasn't been a hundred percent honest with me all of the time either like saying he's on his way home when he's not we did start couples therapy last week for these and other reasons but I appreciate that I have just as much work to do as he does please be kind people I'm not a nightmare just a mother and a wife doing the best I can I will try to do better communicating and ask him for the same everyone sucks here yes oh he was over the top with the amount of checking in but apparently I'm the only person who thinks it's reasonable to expect your partner to communicate their plans when they leave you at home with a toddler expecting someone to come home within a few hours when they say they're just going out for a few drinks isn't setting a curfew all he had to do was say I'll probably be out late I'll let you know what I'm leaving instead of implying multiple times he was almost done and then staying out for hours and hours later this is the thing it sounds to me like he kept implying he wouldn't be out long at first and that he was on his way later so constantly checking when that turned out false is different than if they had discussed a late night outs if everything happened exactly as Opie said he basically lied a few drinks is not the same as drinks and a fancy dinner then hanging out till midnight and he wasn't leaving all those times does RP suck for checking in or was she put any frustrating position even if the premise is that his night out is reasonable negotiable with the toddler in play there's no expectation either parent gets to stay out till midnight I'd say unless the parties agree he was super passive-aggressive and sneaky about it if he planned to stay out till midnight have dinner etc but called it a few drinks at six RP was passive-aggressive to you by continuing to check in the vein that it was relatively okay when she maybe should have said directly when we discussed this I thought you'd be gone a couple of hours for drinks and I would like you to come home and then explaining the secondary issue that she was hurt he went to a fancy dinner without even mentioning it to her or thinking of her feelings but I suspect those calling her a nag would find that direct communication just as bad her bad behavior in my eyes was not being directs I don't have kids because I like my freedom but you don't get to escape your responsibilities and party till midnight when you have a toddler unless your partner agrees and she wasn't agreeing to that and it seems like he knew it now if he's usually a dedicated father and rarely goes out maybe one could argue she should be gracious but that also requires him being honest about the ask the thing I'm hung up on is him telling ope he'd be home soon honestly I'd be worried if my partner kept implying they'd beat home soon and they didn't show up were they in an accident are they trashed and don't realize how much time has passed and do I need to pick them up also if you tell me you're coming home soon I'll stay up and wait for you if you're going to be out till midnight tell me so I can go to bed and don't wait around I think there are several issues to unpack er but the biggest one to me is that the husband lied and it sounds like does so with some regularity all the other stuff stems from that not the a-hole if you want time for yourself take it is he forcing you to hold yourself back from having your own time he obviously feels no guilt at taking time for himself and he shouldn't neither should you have him watch the kids while you go out and have fun don't try and control him stop being petty instead of communicating your needs properly it's childish just take an equal amount of time for yourself tell him you're taking a weekend for yourself then go god it sounds like my mom she's always like that she's like alright I'm going out see you later where are you going mom why are you just disappearing I'm taking a weekend for myself up at the coast see you later posted by user snoo 7 202 8 titles am i the a-hole for wanting my son from an affair to attend my swearing-in ceremony I will give some background because I do think it matters I've been married to my wife for 12 years about five years in my wife started feeling like we were in a rut and emotionally neglected because I was working so much and she was left spending so much time taking care of our two kids she started an emotional affair with a co-worker which lasted for a few months before she confessed and ended it I was really bothered by this because I know that for my wife the emotional connection is as important as the physical so it could not have been any worse if she physically cheated we did not pursue therapy at that point I thought I was okay but the hurt continued to simmer and eventually led to me confiding in a colleague someone in my line of work but not a co-worker / friend which eventually turned into a physical affair this is a dumpster fire what I did not feel like I was wrong at the time for doing this since I felt like my wife's unfaithfulness was the cause I was wrong I don't deny this now we had an affair for around two years it was during that time that my partner got pregnant and gave birth to my son he is now over five years old I eventually confessed all of this to my wife after I started feeling guilty he didn't stop feeling guilty for two years things were bad for a long time but we did get into therapy and have managed to work through our issues in many ways our relationship is now better than either of our affairs and we have even since had another child my wife has always been fine with me being active in my son's life which is something I told her would have to be allowed if we were going to work things out because it would not be fair to punish him for my failings up until now that has worked well enough I soon will be sworn in for a new position I'm taking and I'd planned to invite my son to watch since my other children will be attending along with my wife my wife freaked out when I told her my plans and said if I did it it would be like throwing the affair in her face she thinks it is an a-hole move to invite him but I think he is as much of a right to be there as my other kids I can understand her view but I think I would be the a-hole if I didn't invite him but let my other kids come do you just leave it it everyone sucks here everyone has something wrong with them how is everyone okay with this situation I don't understand how are they cool with this how did they solve this like what therapy they're going to sign me up to that that will solve all of my problems I don't know what job he's being sworn into probably Mac his manager he's going up from you know restaurant manager to a regional manager so he's like I want my son to be there to see me but I also want my family to be there to fan has to be there I don't understand the importance of being sworn into a position why are you jeopardizing your already very rocky situation just for your son to be there my brain is gonna explode I don't want to talk in this anymore I just think everyone sucks here and best of luck to them for solving this everyone sucks er except not your son you're the a-hole for trying to spin the story where your wife's emotional affair of a few months is somehow equally problematic and the source of your own two year long physical affair that produced a child you literally make it sound like we both cheated when that is not the case you say you don't deny you were wrong but the way you've laid this out still reeks of denial of culpability your wife is slightly the a-hole for refusing to honor your agreements that your son would be a big part of your life she's putting her own feelings of embarrassment about her your affair above those of an innocent kid as your son gets older and more aware of the circumstances she's going to have to learn to deal with him being around without making him feel like a source of pain for her that said your son is five he does not care about a swearing-in ceremony it will be boring for him and not something he's going to feel sad about missing out on for this instance only it seems you could keep the peace by keeping him at home yeah the first part of Opie describing his wife's affair really put me off because she did not have sex and she fest up whereas he had sex and didn't confess until after his mistress got pregnant it feels like he's trying to frame it to show how see she messed up too when this is not the case we did not need to know she emotionally cheated her affair has nothing to do with the current situation unfortunately the situation of him including and excluding the kid is not going to stop here what about other special events like birthday parties or Christmas does the wife expect him to exclude the kid from all of those as well RP is not the a-hole for wanting to include his kid but this situation and all future ones is 100% his faults and everyone is suffering because him yes I agree the wife as the a-hole as to the issue at hand but I couldn't let Opie off the hook given the fact as you said he is responsible for the whole situation in the first place it's not even that Opie had an affair for me it's the way he's describing it as if the wife started it and it's her fault that is super a Holi he said it could not have been any worse if she had physically cheated well yes actually it could have been worse she could have gotten pregnant with another man's child and paraded said child around everywhere so all Opie's friends and family were constantly reminded of that time she rode that sweet non Opie dick what am I doing with my life what led me to reading this you had an affair had a kid from that affair and your wife has not only continued to stick with you but also allowed you to be an active in the life of the person you had an affair with give her this one you're the a-hole you're the a-hole how does her floating for a few months lead to a two-year affair by you you're the a-hole your wife did not cheat on you flirting with someone for a few months is not at all the same as fudging someone for two years one is a normal human interaction that was cut off long before it led to any betrayal the other is adultery that led to a child with your mistress whom he ran do dig into for three years you're a crappy person dude it takes some next-level vindictiveness to cheat on your wife to punish her for developing a crush on a co-worker telling you about it and then cutting off communication before ending cheating occurred to save the relationship in response to her open and honest and totally appropriate communication about said crush and its effect on your relationship year of vengeance conceived a child to punish her after ramming your dick into another woman for two years that's screwed up you are definitely the a-hole they were so mad they spelt it definitively posted by user through our a am i the a whole 45 titled am I the a-hole for telling my husband's cousin that I couldn't imagine being on tinder at my 30s when she said that she couldn't imagine being a housewife since she needs to use her mind man people are so mean we were having dinner at my mother-in-law's home it was my in-laws us and my husband's cousin and my in-laws neighbors at one point I was helping clean foot outside and it was me and my husband's cousin Martha I haven't talked to Martha since she got out of jail I mean much since our wedding and a few FaceTime calls here and there she's 36 to 38 works as a project manager for a bank I myself and 31 after my husband and I had kids I left my job to be at stay-at-home mom we were talking and Martha was just being abrasive like she was trying to size me up she starts asking me why I gave up on my career she goes on to say that hers is super important for her that she could never give it up and that she would spend money on a nanny if she had to and then goes on to say the whole housewife stuff wouldn't work for her because she really needs to use her minds what does she like magneto or something doctors strange ass woman like wow I was just getting offended this whole time and even when I tried to change the topic she brought it up so I told her yeah well I couldn't imagine being on tinder in my 30s plus for me I really want to have kids Ellie you know after 35 there are a lot of risks of birth defects I knew I touched a couple nerves because her expressions just changed she starts telling me that she could settle down if she wanted to she just has high standards and that the birth defect stuff is overstated the arrogant demeanor she had before talking down to me changed quickly I told my husband about its he laughed but said that my cousin is a bit rough around the edges and I should have ignored her he said the birth defects line went over the top I don't think sir for me I don't want her going around belittling other people's life choices you know when you go to the the zoo and you see a bunch of chimpanzees just chucking feces at each other that's what we're doing here you know they're both on the ground already they're both as far down as it goes with their insult game they both suck er there's no going over the top once you start chucking feces at each other both of them suck and they both know they suck everyone sucks er I'm currently staying home as well so I understand the judgments her comments were completely out of line but solely yours your life your choice her life her choice you could have said those comments are hurtful this is my choice to spend my time this way rather than putting down her choices seriously they're both solidly in their 30s and this reads like a bunch of high school bullcrap nothing wrong with standing up for yourself but for Fricks sake have a little bit of decorum Hopey says her comments struck a few nerves but it sounds like Martha really touched a few nerves too and that's just the TSYS Opie your insecurity is showing if you wish secure in your decisions he would tell Martha she was being rude and asked for an apology not strike back with tasteless low blows the way you did everyone sucks here she did start digging but your tinder line was funny but then you took it to the birth defects and that made you an a-hole too I was gonna say not to have any biological kids at all but decided to walk away from that Oh Sarah bull I think if you were genuinely happy and secure with your circumstances you wouldn't have even thought of a low blow like that everyone sucks here first of all yes the birth defects thing was definitely over the top don't lie to yourself there it was an objectively crappy thing to say outside of that you both were crapping on the other person's life choices so you're both a-holes especially because the risk increases from about 1% to 2% it's definitely an increase but not a dramatic one it's actually from 0.5 percent to 1 percent Thank You Ellen thank you for that correction I couldn't remember how miniscule it was but I knew that 1% was in there somewhere the risk for Down syndrome is more massive though in your 20s it's one in a hundred thousands above 35 it's 1 in 400 and above 40 it's 1 in 100 figures are from my embryology textbook may not be 100% accurate because it's been a long time since I finished embryology posted by user slice fun titles am I the a-hole for refusing to renegotiate a settlements that heavily favored me a few years ago my estranged brother and I were avoided a settlement from a situation that we were both victims in although objectively I was affected more than him it is basically hush money but that's just life sometimes I'm not getting into the crime here we got paid an equal set amount in cash and the rest in stock options I know more about it than he does and through the markets my decisions and what I chose received and continue to receive much more than he did as a result he ended up with less than $100,000 total and I no longer need to work unless I want to I am married to end now have two young children I earn a home I am able to be a stay-at-home mom for as long as I'd like even if something happens to my husband's I am able to build healthy college funds and nest eggs for my kids I can even afford someone to help me out at nights and a housekeeper as my husband medically can't lose out on sleep my brother and I aren't particularly close and didn't grow up together but we talk sometimes he's figured out that things ended up being very uneven and he's ticked his life hasn't turned out well and he is very poor and unstable he's now demanding that I renegotiate the settlement to make it more fair to him he's using our dead mother to try to guilt-trip me I don't want to renegotiate and I don't legally have to my childhood Guardians support me but I have relatives and friends on both sides I would think our mother would want things to stay as they are and would love to hear that her daughter was not only able to keep her children but also raised them in ideal circumstances if I renegotiates I would lose the ability to stay at home and the cushion I can build for my children I would lose the dividends it would ruin my life edits the division was mostly presets to way oversimplify it's like we both got 20 stocks but split differently I'll put them in three categories good fine and mare my settlement was basically ten good stocks five fine stocks five mare stocks while he gots five good stocks ten fine stocks and five mare stocks I had my father-in-law's advice and education he was going on immersion I'm gonna say not the a-hole for this one you know everyone has their own path in life and he's down trotted in life and looking for an easy outs with you I understand you can and you're not obligated to he's not actually entitled to that money that you have now all those stock options it sucks that it ended the way it did but that's just life sometimes I hope you're able to work things out but life doesn't always work like that but in this situation you're not the a whole not the a whole it's not your fault your brother isn't as knowledgeable as you in things that helped out also if he's already broke again chances are he isn't good with money and would waste and spend everything he would get in renegotiations life isn't fair but sometimes that works in your favor technically I had the advantage in the options segments but a lot of his mistakes were due to poor education on its and bad decisions still he got a 100k bonus to start his life don't know where you're from but that's like college and down payment for a house where I live I don't know where you live but that's more than at least half a good house but I live in the middle of Bern Frick no we're not the a-hole if the settlement was dispersed equally and was originally agreed upon you don't hurry him you're not responsible for how other people turn outs it sucks but he's ultimately responsible for how his life turned out the cash part was equal but small the stock options are where the inequality happens are you saying they gave you for a super oversimplified example ten different companies to pick from and you grabbed apple stock because you understood how valuable it is or would be and he Pank picked a company that went nowhere could he have also taken the good stock or did you pick first and took all the good stock somewhat although I got some higher percentages in better stocks we both got a variety he also rushed more to sell due to poor education while I got a lot of advice that let me not to make decisions on anxiety yeah that doesn't sound like you manipulated the situation to get more than him just that you made more informed choices and had the cards fall in a more favorable manner than he happened to not your faults posted by user and on widow three two one titles am either a hole for not contributing to my older brother's wedding a little backstory for setup I was widowed a little over a year ago my husband had a substantial life insurance policy as well as a successful business that I have recently sold I have no financial issues I can raise my daughter without worry my older brother proposed to his girlfriend back in January she's nice and seems to love my brother we have had no issues in the past covered hid so we haven't done family get-togethers or anything their wedding planning has been put on hold until recently our state has slowly started opening no one has been sick where there has been good so my dad and stepmom decided to have a family dinner on their outdoor patio to discuss my brother's wedding with my future sister-in-laws parents in attendance so they could all get on the same page I tried to dip outs because wedding planning isn't my thing i eloped but was told my presence was requested by future sister-in-law my stepmom said she thought I was going to be asked to be a bridesmaid which would have been a no but that's - besides the point dinner was uneventful but afterwards my future sister-in-law pulls out a three-ring binder and starts handing out information packets about her wedding when and where she wanted it pictures of dresses she was considering colors ideas for catering pictures of cakes everything a well-prepared bride could come up with my favorite page was list of expenses how much she expected everyone to contribute her dad her mom and stepdad my dad and stepmom my brothers mum and me I said you expect me to contribute that's hilarious I was met with a stern gaze from my brother oh my god you're serious yeah that's not happening cure the meltdown from the bride-to-be her dad speaks up and tells her that she was already told that combines between both him and her mum and stepdad she would be given $70,000 to do what she wanted just like they did for her sister oh they have money to throw she started crying my dad chimes in and says yeah between the three of us we will pay for a nice rehearsal dinner for like 30 people and an open beer and wine bar at the reception that since she started screaming like holding her hands over her ears and screaming so I said this is where I leave she stands up and comes to me and gets in my face telling me how it's all my faults I have some money sir I should be willing to spend it on her because she's gonna be family there's not enough Asian that's usually like family I just laughed looked at my brother and said good luck with all that and walked out my future sister-in-law blew up my phone for two days calling me names and telling me how awful I am I haven't talked to my brother but my dad said the wedding planning has been put on hold while she reevaluate sweather she wants to marry into a selfish family whom I know in my heart I'm not the a-hole but a friend of mine seems to think I should contribute just to keep the peace which I don't really care at this point about and my dad and stepmom agree with me my other siblings do too but are trying to stay out of its edits because people keep asking on top of the $70,000 her parents were willing to contribute she wanted $50,000 my dad and brothers mum and $30,000 from me yes 150,000 dollars for a wedding also I think she had originally asked her parents for 80,000 add it to this post blow up I didn't expect it to I just wanted to show my friend that keeping the peace was not a good idea thank you for all your replies even the one that called me a narcissist and said I should contribute my stepmom says she has some things to tell either tomorrow or Wednesday whenever she can catch up so if there is anything to update I definitely will oh my god who is this woman can we I want a hundred and fifty thousand dollars not for a wedding I just want that money Jesus don't we all I have nothing constructive to enter this besides I am flabbergasted people like this still exist in 2020 come on people I thought we were better Hopi not the a-hole dear Lord not the a-hole absolutely do not give any money to her or your brother I honestly wouldn't even give an engagement or wedding gift at this point she is so far beyond a bridezilla that your brother needs to truly rethink marrying her the audacity of what she did is just baffling she already has a promised 70,000 from her parents that's a nice down payment on a house it's one freaking day when someone shows their true colors believe them this isn't going to be a one-time thing this is who she is stand your ground you are definitely not the a-hole do not give in just to keep the peace or you will be doing it forever I don't care if you have five million dollars in the bank no just know it's funny because up until this point she seemed normal we weren't besties or anything but we got along fine this was such a change but when someone shows their true Coca's believe them I wouldn't spit on her if she was in a fire at this point oh my god not the a-hole that woman is insane showing you a list of how much she expects you to pay for her wedding I can't even imagine having a wedding that costs more than 70 thousands mine was four and a half thousand I think could be 45k but there's a comma in the middle there what does that mean and I feel like we indulged if she feels that she needs a wedding that costs more than 70-thousand she's got real issues blaming you because you said something first is just poor judgments and your father not standing up for you or at least saying that he wouldn't pay whatever for her wedding regardless of if you said something is him being an a-hole I get why you can say hostile things dealing with that many a-holes in the family has got to make anyone hostile I will defend my dad he did Lane to my brother and his fiancee after I left he had already told my brother what the three of them would pay for they being dad stepmom and my brothers mom they just expected everyone to do what she wanted am I the a-hole for possibly making my parents homeless this isn't just me it includes my twin brother my brother and I 17 male were an accidental pregnancy for context our oldest sibling is 37 and he has a kid who goes to our high school our nearest sibling in age is 28 my parents always made it clear that we weren't supposed to exist they were never abusive or neglectful or anything but they were kind of cold our whole childhood my brother and I will graduate high school in about a week and I will be 18 in two weeks my parents have told us that as soon as we turn 18 we have to pay rent neither of us have jobs and we probably won't be able to get jobs right now I can fight it in my sister that I'm really stressed about this and she offered to let my brother and I stay with her while we're in university completely free of charge I'm really grateful for this and we're planning on accepting her offer I told my parents about this and they freaked out I guess my mom was planning to move to part-time work and they needed rent from my brother and I to keep up with rent they said that they have provided for us our whole lives and we should pay them back now that we're almost adults I mean it's true they have given us everything we needed for 18 years and I really don't want them to be homeless if they can't afford the rent but I don't know how I would even afford to live with them am I the a-hole I would say no you're not the a-hole for trying to survive they are adults they can find somewhere else to rent after you to move out somewhere that is affordable for them this isn't the rock your parents should be dying on and they've made it clear they don't want you in their life you don't have any obligation to live with them once you're 18 you can choose to but I wouldn't personally want to live with someone that's so emotionally disconnected from me and made it clear that I'm not supposed to exist kind of is like hey you know I would rather have had an abortion than have you but here you are he's sticking around not paying rent until you're 18 you can't move out who wants to be stuck in a household like that not the a hollow pee edits my brother and I both have some savings so we could conceivably pay rent for a few months I also feel guilty moving in with my sister because she has three little kids and a cat to take care of and I don't want to put any extra strain on her none of my siblings have a great relationship with our parents so my parents won't ask them for help edit number two I'm actually shocked by the support here I've been talking it over with my brother and we're going to move out as soon as we legally can thanks guys not a whole your parents are completely in the wrong they have six children form of whom are actual adults and their life plan is relying on to not even eighteen year olds financially that makes no sense you do not owe your parents anything to be quite honest whether or not you are an accident you were their child and in that regard they are you you do not know them by virtue of having birthed you if they need financial assistance they should go to their adults children don't worry about getting a job worried about your education and your emotional well-being go and live with your sister and let your parents figure their lives out that's not your responsibility they are treating you and your twin brother like strangers so let them rent out your bedrooms to strangers for the rent it will be a less resentful relationship between them and you and your brother and you and your brother can focus on your education offer to help babysit your sister's three kids and to help around the house since she's letting you stay there you can help her like she's helping you and you will all live much happier this way I'm sorry your parents are like this and good luck agree help your sister out as much as you can if not money babysitting cleaning cooking she is incredibly generous to take you both in screw your parents not the a-hole absolutely they already babysit sometimes so if I move in I'm going to help out as much as I can plus the kids love me I'm the cool uncle I also have twin sons who turn 18 in two weeks I could never imagine doing this to my own kids but then you say that your parents turn to have a great relationship with your older siblings either so maybe they just weren't cut out to be good parents despite having many kids don't feel bad be good for your sister and not the a whole not the a whole it is literally their job as parents to provide for you for the first 18 years you owe them nothing for that yes not the a-hole if they had say decided not to feed or clothe their children or forced them to sleep outside without shelter they would have been arrested for child neglect and endangerment RP these people had a legal obligation to provide for you don't let them make you feel like they did use some special favors by birthing you and keeping you alive now they want to paycheck from you nope there is clearly a reason that your older siblings want nothing to do with your parents spoiler alerts it's because your parents suck go live with the people that want to see you thrive not the ones manipulating and guilting you so they can take advantage parents who sit there and act like providing their kids with the most basic things is like the equivalent of buying them designer clothes in the Lamborghini are the biggest a-holes in the world's I should know I was raised by one updates am I the a-hole for possibly making my parents homeless hey folks it's been like three weeks and many many things have happened I graduated high school Jeremy I turned 18 and I moved out I finally feel like I'm adulting kind of I moved in with my sister the day after my birthday and I've been living with her for a bit over two weeks it's been really weird they do all of this stuff in her house that we never did as kids family dinners every nights never done at once until now my sister and her fiance carve out blocks of time to spend with the kids my parents never did that my oldest nephew he's 10 dropped an open can of pineapple in the kitchen a few days ago I expected him to get yelled outs but my sister just helped him clean it up and told him to grab a new can from the pantry that was a weird my parents were never that chill when I was a kid I would see these perfect families on TV shout out to Dinosaur Train law and my parents always told me that those kinds of parents didn't exist that it was all just made up for the TV that real parents don't take that much of an interest in their kids lives and interests I believed them until now in the past few weeks I've seen my sister and her fiance spent hours making model planes with my oldest nephew all rocking the youngest to sleep when she was overtired that stuff never happened when I was a kid my niece she's four woke up in the middle of the night last week crying about something instead of telling her to shut the hell up and go to bed my sister's fiance got up and sat with her until she fell asleep I guess I was just surprised that my experiences aren't the norm anyway both my brother and I are doing really well here my brother has been cooking a lot and he's going to culinary school and everyone seems to really appreciate it I've been spending time with my nieces and nephew and have played more minecraft these past two weeks then I think I've played in my entire life if anyone knows what titanfall 2 is please help me out I've been an adult for less than a month and these children and the newfangled video games already confuse me this is all just a very long-winded way to say thanks if I hadn't posted here I don't think I would have moved out my savings would basically be drained and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now so thank you now I guess it's time to see if I can figure out how to do an update post edits shout out for my sister for basically raising me for 12 years and also being an amazing parents I could just go and say all this to her face but this so many stairs in this house and I'm lazy and teary says to the sister who also comments below Kolani how many times am I going to have to say it before you accept that you're a good person every time I go to thank you for giving up space in your house for me and can you say that if you didn't help us out it would have been someone else I get that you have a strangely low self esteem as evidenced by your AIT a post but can you just accept that you're an unbelievably good person and to move on so I can finally thank you and the sister comments below so you can't come downstairs to compliment me you can come downstairs to tell me to go upstairs to get my phone and then come back downstairs so you can see my reaction to you complimenting me I see how it is honestly I'm just happy you're here I told you before me and Michael and Daniel have been waiting so long to move you guys out of that house I'm just the one who has the available rooms if Michael wasn't overseas it would have been him if Daniel had another room it would have been him but anyways love you both it's been really nice to have some extra hands around the house especially with kam and his cooking I see why he's going to culinary school the kids love you Ethan I think you're a great kid even Aerys likes you and that's pretty darn rare keep being that person you are and I think this arrangement is going to work out fantastic edits okay everyone just come over and we can have pie and hot chocolate love you Bowl and remember who your family is doesn't define you so you can write this whole super sappy reply to me but you can't look up and say it to me I'm literally sitting on the same ice couch as you so wholesome oh my god I think that's where we gonna leave that post that's wholesome enough and I think we got all the good update goodness we needed posted by user no-step fam titles am I the a-hole for leaving my mum's house after my stepsister wrecked my car back story my parents split when I was like seven I'm about 90% sure my mom cheated cuz she found her new husband like eight months later my mom's new husband is nice enough and I like him but me and his daughter didn't hit it off at all my mom and her dad were good at stopping us from fighting too much but we have a lot of hard feelings from the past my dad on the other hand is married and his new wife has a kid but I get on so much better with my step-brother than my stepsister situation I have a car that my dad got me for my 16th birthday I'm 17 and I like driving it it's not a good or nice car but I've driven up from Southern California into northern Cali and back and it didn't break down so it's a pretty good car law my stepsister wanted to borrow it and I was okay with that but she totaled the thing I was ticked my dad doesn't make a lot and I chipped in for that and when I demanded money to fix it she said she wasn't gonna give me a dime I went to my mom and her dad to ask for money to fix it and they said to ask my dad to fix it because it's his car I lost it and told them that their daughter wrecked it so they should pay but they weren't budging I had enough and said exactly fine then I'll go live with my dad full-time see ya I called a new bar but my mom did come outside and try and get me to come back inside to talk this out but I was too ticked to really think straight I hopped in the yoruba back to my dad's place when I told him what happened he said that while he's happy that I want to stay full-time with him that I should talk it better to my parents and me blowing up was wrong I don't really think that what I did was wrong because they wouldn't pay for a wreck that their daughter made he says he will help me out with the damages to the car so I guess there's that but it still isn't the same this happened about a week ago and I live full-time with my dad my mom has asked for me to come home and get back to our old system but I told her I'm not and I need some time before I talk to her again my stepsister has told me to grow up and stop being a baby and I told her to either pay me for the damages or frig off and buy the a hole here wow talk about enabling talk about enabling a monster dear Lord in what universe could Opie be the a horn this one oh sorry I crashed your car but screw you I'm not paying you a dime and my parents are gonna defend me for it I don't blame him for leaving the mom's house why is the mom trying to drag him back she knows she's got to know she's done wrong they are terrible people for that I'm also sure the insurance company won't be too happy to hear about someone that was probably not on the insurance policy wrecking the car because it'd be like oh it's out of our hands sorry buddy I don't blame Opie I wouldn't go back to that house if I was him I would wait until they apologize and make amends and force her to pay those are my conditions I don't negotiate with terrorists not the a-hole your stepsister wrecked your car and refused to pay for damages and your mother and stepfather refused to back you up on this that is wrong insist they pay something towards the damaged car I'm not taking this to courts but if they don't pay well then I'm not living there ever again you're taking it to court because you're forcing your parents to do so you can't just switch homes like that the courts will have to be involved in order to let you do that also a minor can't sue anyone but your dad could what about your insurance Opie is 17 the courts won't do anything about the custody issue as they're almost an adults if Opie to tsa's to live full time with the dad custody can easily change with Opie being 17 and then dad can get child supports that can be put towards a car oh I really like that not the a-hole your mum and her family are crappy people you will be much happier not living with them hell yeah I will my stepmom is good not great but I like her and me and my step-brother get on wonderfully by the way never let someone drive your car especially if you don't have full coverage even then you will pay for it with insurance increases yeah that was my fault I thought I could trust her because I practically helped her learn how to drive and she was super cautious back then when your stepsister insisted that you grow up I damn near popped a blood vessel don't go back to your crappy mom's place she can deal with the bull crap just sit back and get through school and work slash college and do well in life updates am I the a-hole for leaving my mom's house after my stepsister wrecked my car okay like a lot of you guys said is that I should take my mom and stepsister to cords I was about to suggest that to my dad before my mom called she was practically crying saying how she's wrong and wishes she could take back what happens I told her that I wanted her to pay me back for the damages to the car my mom apologized and she did she also wanted me to come back again and I agreed because I miss my mom and some of my belongings were there me and my stepsister are far from good I've moved back in and I think we may have talked like once my mom forced her to apologize but she wasn't gonna apologize on her own she started all this and doesn't want to talk so that's on her not me thank you all for your feedback I'm glad to hear you're getting compensated but did your stepsister face any consequences at all for wrecking your car and her subsequent awful behavior huh no she spoiled as hell no way she's gonna apologize honestly it seems like her father clearly favors her and just tolerates you with your mom being a pushover for him and going along with what he wants this by extension being what your steps is to once not very healthy for either of you glad to hear that but sucks to be your dad I guess I still see him just two weeks every month instead of the full month that I got with him when I was mad at my mom I know but switching back and forth like he was some convenient tool is not right either trust me I know this is not what you meant but it's just how it seems your dad is a wonderful man so wonderful he gave you advice and told you the things you did wrong while at the same time taking care of the situation for you which was housing you whilst you were mad at your mom and I get it he is supposed to do that but what if he wasn't around what if he couldn't help you have to be cool-headed and patient and not let your emotions get the best of you if your dad wasn't around I doubt you would have left the house but appreciate the things your dad does it's the little things we don't notice that we tend to miss when they aren't around anymore I'm sure he was super happy to have you for the whole month my respects to that man since my dad is the opposites give you a dad more respect this next one we've covered before but they posted an updates so I'm just gonna read the first post and then go through the comments in the update posted by user Spy dad throw away titles am I the a-hole for installing a key logger in my son's computer I'm a single day forty-three years old computer programmer my son let's call him jack is 17 years old Jack's mom died when he was 10 but thankfully we both handled our grief together quite well when Jack got his first laptop five years ago I took my time explaining how the internet worked the dangers etc I allowed him to create a social media accounts as long as he allowed me to check on it whenever I wanted which was a privilege I made use of a few times until he turned 15 and I realized I could trust him having never asked for it since then he allowed me to know where he stored his account passwords just in case but I never really looked for them so his social media and computer activity have been a complete mystery to me in the past couple of years however I was always fearful he would try to hide something or get into something dangerous so I installed a key logger just in case always thinking about his safety I never had to use it and the more I watched him grow up I eventually realized I would never really use it but I never bothered to remove it my sister and I were talking about this in a casual conversation regarding privacy and privacy apps and my niece overheard us they were born in the same year she got offended I would do such a thing claiming it was a horrible invasion of Jack's privacy and that I should be ashamed and the only reason she hasn't told my son was because my sister told her she'd be grounded for meddling in my parenting so reddits am I the a-hole for having installed a key logger even though I never have to use it and I said yes and a lot of the community said yes to this one it is a huge invasion of privacy updates am I the a-hole for installing a key logger in my son's computer sir this blew up I read all the comments and I really appreciate the insight on both sides which I will not comment nor give my opinion on since a verdict is a verdict each person is entitled to their own opinion but I want you to know that I took into consideration all of them even with the majority considering me an a-hole it took me two days of pondering especially with the threat of nice telling jack everything before I sat him down and talked to him I came out clean told him about the keylogger and then explained to him what I did why I did it and how it works Jack believed me when I told him I had never looked at anything we both shared laughs when he told me he believed me because a I'm a complete airhead so it's perfectly believable that I forgot about the keylogger for years and B he admitted to having watched porn and he is sure I would have commented on it's because both my sister and I both openly disliked the porn industry he told me he isn't mad at me that he's glad I told him about it instead of say 20 years from now and that he would have done the same thing in my situation keylogger and everything I showed him how to remove it and how to look for it in further devices and we have a look at a few laptops together I ended up buying him a new one and helped him set it up yes no keyloggers he let me know the password he used in case it was necessary regarding my niece she didn't tell him anything but my sister and I had a conversation with them at the same time over dinner my niece used the same argument as many of you did with it being the same as regarding a diary and it was one that both my sister and I agreed with my sister was admittedly much stricter with her daughter than I was with my son since she checked her texts and Instagram Facebook and whatsapp messages but she admitted it was because of her massive fear that everything that is uploaded to the Internet lasts forever and she was afraid of things like nudes being leaked undesired contact with bad people cyberbullying or any possible hurtful things they ended up agreeing or disagreeing and my sister promised to start trusting my niece more with these things since she knows she won't be able to do anything about it once she turns 18 I want to thank you all for your feedback and for your suggestions over how I should handle this even the ones who called me an a-hole I felt like I urge you this update I'm glad to hear this turned out so well and Burness to your sister and you talking to your kids together and I'm glad she's pulling back on the monitoring for niece got a seder I'm so glad I grew up in the internet age before this parental monitoring software craze hey 2000s kids we don't need to be monitored let's go check out a bombs well let's do it with how nuts my mother is nowadays about everything from 5g to vaccines I am so glad she was clueless 15 years ago still sounds clueless to be fair she's like super smart in some ways and then believes this nonsense and things people post on Facebook it said the internet and cable news actually did to our parents generations what they were afraid it would do to us you're a good dad Opie from this small insight into your life I can tell you genuinely just care about your son and want the best for him even if it doesn't follow your own interests I wish my own dad could have been more like you am I the a-hole for not paying my girlfriend surgery and instead paying my sister's tuition basically my girlfriend to his twenty two of two years was scheduled to undergo a knee replacement surgery next month I decided to pay for it the surgery is kind of necessary she is having trouble walking and if not done in the next six to eight months she could risk walking with crutches for the rest of her life as the success rate of the surgery will go down rather quickly if postpones well guess what I found out a month ago that she cheated on me last year not long-term but a one-night stand which is still as horrible in my opinion this changed everything although I decided not to break up for now I'm not going to spend that kind of money on her and as I have already decided I won't be spending it on myself I decided to give it to my sister to pay for her tuition without telling my girlfriend she knew last week and she has been crying and screaming ever since that I screwed her life up as she will be disabled for the rest of her life no health insurance and she will never be able to save that kind of money within the frame of a year I'm not going to change my mind but I was wondering am I an a-hole in your opinion whoa oh boy yeah but she's an a-hole too cheating is inexcusable but damn you have really put someone between a rock and a gun in this instance this is so much further than just a rock and a hard place yo lord I don't really have words for this this is terrible all around you're terrible for not paying for her surgery but she's terrible for cheating I understand why you don't want to pay me but dear lord you're gonna make someone disabled for the rest of their life this is like that moral question where do you pull the lever and let one person die oh you don't touch it in four people die I don't have an answer for this one everyone sucks yeah it's fair enough to not want to pay for her surgery but you really should break up with her there is no way to sustain a relationship with you resenting her for cheating and her resenting you because she may be disabled for the rest of her life this so much well we can be together but I will just sit here and see how you get disabled for the rest of your life that will show you see you don't have to cheat on me or you go through this ha ha ha ha ha everyone sucks here she's cheated that's bad I agree but you should have the balls to confront her and tell her directly that you would not pay rather than wait for her to discover it at the last minutes everyone sucks er cheating is awful so she's clearly an a-hole and obviously you are not obligated to pay for anyone surgery but I think you know to promise something as big as funds for a necessary medical procedure and then suddenly withdrawing it is a whole behavior also if you were still salty about her cheating leave her don't tell her you want to stay together and then punish her what do you guys think about this one is he the a-hole is he not there's a lot of people saying not the a-hole because it's his money and he can do what he wants with it's interesting choices posted by user Yana Petra titles am I the a-hole for wanting my husband to cut off his parents after they announced my pregnancy on social media without permission my husband didn't die both 27 have been trying for a baby for over 5 years now it's been a traumatic journey and over the course of the past few years I've had seven miscarriages and one still birth in April I found out I was seven weeks pregnant but obviously didn't want to announce it to anybody including my family until I was through the first trimester we've been through the premature excitement before and I wouldn't be able to handle it again my husband without telling me told his parents about my pregnancy when he was visiting them about two weeks after I found out I was pregnant as I said he didn't tell me and assured me when he was harmed that his parents had no idea yesterday I woke up to my husband on the phone to his sister which was bizarre as it was 8:00 a.m. and he and his sister aren't that close he gave the phone to me as she wanted to talk to me and she basically screeched telling me she was so excited I was pregnant I was confused and asked if my husband had just told her she said no and that her father had posted the night before about it on Facebook I checked and was absolutely outraged by his post it said something along the lines of I'm happy to announce the pregnancy of my son and his wife hopefully this one will stick Jun remember 2020 oh that's oh I was in complete disbelief as not only is that extremely insensitive I had no clue how he had found out how can you just go on Facebook and say hope this one will stick dear Lord how a people this stupid my husband told me the truth and apologized but explained they were his parents and he had a right to tell them I told him that the only thing he had a right to do was freak off and respect my choices when it comes to my body and my trauma we got in a huge argument which resulted in me telling him I want absolutely no part in his side of the family anymore and that I want him to cut them off he told them and they're outraged with me saying I'm overly sensitive and disrespectful and my husband is refusing to apologize or even recognize that I'm hurt am I the a-hole I would say this is a big cause for concern this is a lot of alarm bells going off I wonder if there were events preceding this that led to such a reaction as now because I don't think it's often that things are going normally and then you know you make your views that you've shared with your husband privately for such a long time like you put them down because you like yo you've crossed a boundary and he's like you know what screw everything I'm not listening to you anymore I don't care about your drama you're too sensitive doesn't seem like normal behavior to me I'm gonna go with Opie is not the a-hole I don't care that Opie's actions are abrupt I don't care that they are very wild right now would you not go wild if you were her and have your trust broken by your own husband and have her family attack you and intrude on your life like that their actions cross a line his actions cross a line although I do think that asking the husband to cut off his entire family over this is a bit overstate and yet I would tweak that and say you need to limit contact until this thing blows over and in marriages and of relationships there should always be room for that compromise therapy not the a-hole everyone sucks here they screwed up big but asking her husband to cut off his entire family over it is not reasonable especially since it sounds like he didn't discourage it at all your real problem is your husband's dishonesty and complete lack of respect for you he not only went against your wishes but lied to you about it why are you focusing on his family and not him yes your husband is the a hole in this whole situation since he disrespected your wishes and then flat-out lied to you about it he is the problem here exactly I'm not saying you shouldn't be ticked as hell although your in-laws hope it will stick comment wasn't insensitive as hell but your ultimatum was way off but your husband does need to recognize that he was way out of bounds that he should put you first and respect your wishes especially when you've been through such a difficult time plus he lied and dismissed you like your feelings are totally irrelevant honestly you might want to take a timeout and go to a hotel for a few days and just get a chance to calm down and think about what you feel and how you want to go forward I'm guessing that she is asking for this not because of this one issue but because of a long line of his family acting like this I don't think you have an in-law problem I think you have a husband problem I will say father-in-law is also a bit of a problem hopefully this one will stick like screw all the way off I gasped when I got to that what the hell salute hell this man's got really down voted for this one not everyone deals with trauma the same way joking could be a coping mechanism it's not his fudging trauma to joke about on social media again not everyone is the same is it possible he didn't know he could joke this way with her you don't always know someone's intents especially on the internet I'm sorry but it's always inappropriate to joke about a death let alone a baby's death like what the hell was he thinking what kind of crack is he on or if that man's justifies it in the next comment not gonna show it basically he had six miscarriages with his wife but it's different because they were joking about it because it was between them it wasn't someone else's baby that's where that so the line crosses here buddy learned learn your place posted by user quarantine earbud titles mi the a-hole I won't give my parents all of the inheritance as my grand Chuck them out of the will for context my father's side of the family is very small there was only him his mum and his sister who was married but without kids I male 25 a man only child's my granddad was a very successful civil engineer and bought ten residential properties to provide a retirement income before he died both him and my grandma wrote a will that gave my aunt five of the properties and my dad the other five the remaining money was to be split 50-50 up to a certain thresholds and the remainder donated to cancer research as my granddad's brother and mum both died of that whilst young now around twelve months ago it was clear that my grandma really wasn't fit to drive her reactions were terrible her eyesight was going and was repeatedly having minor incidents as it was her final marker of independence she flat-out refused to stop or visit a doctor for a third opinion anyway the final straw was when my dad went to visit and there was a huge dent in the rear bumper where she had reversed into yet another bollard after having warned her previously he decided to take her keys away and leave a letter fully explaining why he did that when my grandfather letter she went absolutely ballistic and after lots of arguing threatened to write my dad out of the will unless he gave them back now I don't know how I feel about this because I'm one hand she really shouldn't be driving but on the other it is still technically legal and as an individual she should still have the opportunity to exercise her free will and go driving anyway my dad refused to give them back out of principle saying it is a danger to others and criticized her for trying to manipulate him with inheritance and said he didn't need the money anyway my dad kept hold of the keys and nothing much was really said after that it was all kind of brushed under the carpet s-- grand took taxis and whilst there was a bit of tension when we met up nothing much more was said anyway unfortunately my grand past away and I'm informed by the executor of her will that I was getting all half of her in states instead of my dad no one really expected her to go through with it after thinking a lot and as a gesture of goodwill I offered my parents half as that's what granddad wanted and kept the other half as that's what gran wanted parents and died and still accused me of accepting money that wasn't mine and that I should give it to them as gran wasn't in a sane mind I didn't budge and said I'd rescind my offer should they hire the lawyer they were threatening to I was given a lecture on how I'm too young to have this amount of money and that I will have no incentive to be a productive member of society then even said he would write me out of his will which is exactly the same as what he criticized my grand for parents are now flat-out refusing to speak to me at the moment other than through their lawyer and have basically discerned me as no son of theirs could act like this want to make up but feel I've been pretty fair I'm gonna go with everyone sucks here in this situation I just recorded a whole minute and a half of backing up my reasoning for that before but I read some comments and I'm like damn I'm stupid I'm just gonna say yeah everyone sucks here everyone's logic is defeating itself I like that the dad stopped the grandma from driving I really like that one this situation is just a test of which hill am I gonna die on everyone sucks here you're an a-hole for refusing to acknowledge that the reason your grandma left you that money is because your dad did the right thing to protect her the public and that inheritance you care so much about if she had killed someone you can bet there'd be a hefty lawsuits and she got mad your dad is an a-hole for threatening to sue you over money he said himself he doesn't need to be frank don't call me Shirley your statements that as an individual she should still have the opportunity to expect society a free will and go driving after you yourself acknowledged she was no longer fit to drive is an a-hole comment in itself because it indicates complete disregard for the safety and rights of others my opinion of that is at least he left it in so we can see his true feelings about it he had the opportunity to edit that out and paint himself in a better lights but I'd say it's good that that was unedited because we can see the human aspect people make mistakes people have stupid opinions your dad probably should have tried to have the state step in instead of taking them himself but free will is not unlimited and neither are driving privileges yeah I disagree that the dad sucks I mean I don't see any reason to get the state involved when he had it handled pretty easily RP needs to be a little smarter than he is I mean it seems like this would be a pretty straightforward case of the parents being able to prove that grandma was not of sound mind so they are going to waste legal fees and pay off their family over something they know is true you're the a-hole and be smart enough not to pee off your family there's nothing that indicates she wasn't of sound mind diminished vision spatial perception and reflexes are the primary age-related reasons a person is unfit to drive and don't indicate cognitive deficiencies pettiness and revenge are perfectly valid and legal reasons to alter your will and also don't indicate cognitive deficiencies I'm not saying she wasn't experiencing issues but we've been given no information which makes that a foregone conclusion this I'm often asked to perform cognitive and vision assessments to determine if a person is of sound mind or not just because someone demonstrates visual perception deficits doesn't mean they have deficits in cognition or executive functions you'd be surprised how often a visual deficits is mistaken for cognition deficits alright this is starting to hurt my head but some of you guys might want to hear this I wonder if she refused to stop driving even to the possible detriment of others would it be a sign of cause effect realization failure it's pretty common for seniors to be incredibly reluctance and giving up their last grasp at Independence to opiez grandmother driving was hers it's not a sign of mental degradation but perhaps the sign of either desperation and a bit or a lots of selfishness nuts Michel reckons you're the a-hole so your father did what was necessary to keep your grandmother safe and everyone else on the road safe and you decided you feel ok capitalizing on her grandmother's poorly placed anger your grandmother was vindictive and you're an opportunist two gay whole' your grandfather didn't want you to have that half of that money and truth be told it doesn't sound like a grandmother did either she was trying to manipulate your father here's the thing though grandma had total control of her estates which includes whatever grandpa left behind it is entirely within her rights to change what goes where a last will and testament is exactly that whatever grandma had written up and notarized is what goes at the end of the day tough crap if that upsets people everyone involved knew what was up dad even said I don't need your money so why is he upset that's all true but this is not a legal discussion sure whatever in the will is legally binding and a right as such but it is also legally an option to choose not to follow the will by following the will Opie either agrees with the reasoning of the will or he agrees that the will is unreasonable but chooses to ignore that to benefit himself in this case it seems like Opie mostly agrees with his father's decision to limit her driving but the money kept matters more to him so he doesn't care that's what makes it immoral in my opinion posted by user secret room help titled am i the a-hole for telling my boyfriend to throw away his shrine to his exes or I'm done hi everyone I never thought I'd be posting anything like this but here we are throw away account for obvious reasons I'm gonna try to keep this as short as possible but I really need some advice and think the backstory is important I 25 female met my boyfriend 28 male on a popular dating app three months we had a few formal Skype dates and this quickly turned into facetiming each other for hours every day I got laid off my job due to the current events and he works from home so we had a lot of time to get to know each other we fell hard for each other fast forward to about two weeks ago I moved in with him now I know this sounds crazy but my lease was up and with everything going on I still don't have a job it just made sense everything seemed amazing honestly it felt like a dream come true he works in the second bedroom that he uses as an office I thought it would be nice to surprise him and make him lunch since I had nothing better to do so I tried bringing him lunch but his office door was locked I knocked he opened the door and took the plate from me he thanked me but he seemed a little annoyed and was quick to shut the door again I brushed this off and figured he was busy over the next week and a half I noticed that door is always locked I started noticing him going into his office late at nights for about five to ten minutes each nights this really got my curiosity going and I decided I was going to get into that room somehow so last night I waited until he thought I was asleep and sure enough he got up and went into his office I crept out of bed and opened the office door and he was sitting at his desk with an open storage bin on the floor next to him he jumped up and threw the lid on the box and started yelling at me asking what I was doing in there this caught me off guard but I demanded to know what was in the box after some arguing he finally opened the box there were notes keepsakes photos and female clothing nothing lewd I was shocked and asked why he had this stuff he said he knew I wouldn't understand and they were just nice memories from his past relationships he said he was totally over them romantically and just because he wants to keep the memories doesn't mean he wants to be with those women and that he only wants to be with me I absolutely lost it said that he was being creepy and said that either he gets rid of this stuff or I was done he said I'm an a-hole for giving him an ultimatum calling him names and shaming him for having immersions I understand having a keepsake or two but an entire box it seems a little over the top to me but maybe my reaction was a little harsh today has been really awkward neither of us have apologized who talked about it yet reddit's am i the a-hole for giving him an ultimatum yeah I would say both of you are in a hole for your reactions in this situation this seems like a very weird very out of left field kind of situation I don't understand why he keeps so many memories but each to their own in this situation I've got nothing else to say about that everyone sucks yeah I don't I don't know what to say yeah duck duck duck the de duck duck gives me a good reason why everyone sucks and here is why as others have mentioned you moved in after barely knowing someone you both sounded really desperate and set up no boundaries or barriers so you're both to blame you moved in out of desperation and he allowed it so you're both to blame that has never rights that is a huge stress on a relationship and while some can handle it it's typical to end poorly while I can admit that it is a bit odd that he has those things there's nothing inherently wrong with it so you're to blame maybe one of his early significant others died while they were together and he decided to be sure to make memories tangible I don't know sir I'm not going to judge the guy I'm just saying it's not inherently a hault behavior you were definitely an a-hole for making a fights and an ultimatum that sounds like it could easily have been discussed over tea while sitting together on the couch that's fair I do feel bad about starting a fight over its I'll clarify that he hasn't had a significant other pass away and I do understand keeping some things like notes concert tickets things like that what throws me off is the clothing and looking through it seemingly irregularly I'm going to talk to him calmly when he gets home later what throws me off is the fact he goes through it every night it's one thing to have a box of keepsakes from your life you go through every now and then but a box dedicated to your ex that you've got a daily ritual of visiting you're gonna have to talk about that it's super strange to go through it in the middle of the nights I may be into a lot of true crime but my vote is he's a serial killer oh my god when's Shane Dawson putting a documentary up on this um people saying you're the a-hole because he's allowed to be sent him and tell him to have memories of the past are you not realizing he takes it out every day to look at or is it just me that thinks that's odd and creepy exactly why I made this post now I'm even more confused reading the comments having the boxes okay looking through it every night is weird I'd verify if that's what he's doing every night it's what you caught him doing one night maybe he does all the embarrassing things there he could be stuffing his face with Oreos watching clown porn or any number of things he prefers you not to see I think you guys should have a serious talk he could be looking at the Box all the time which is pretty concerning but maybe he feels the need for his own space which wouldn't be too concerning but ultimately you need to know what's going on and if it's something you can be okay with having the box is still fudging weird bro unless one of them died or one of them was married to you for twenty years and had kids with you it's fudging weird to keep a box of keepsakes and clothes and memories of your exes no sane person is going to be happy with that as your significant other I'll admit it struck me as super weird but without the backstory events I wasn't sure if I was missing something I get having old concert tickets maybe some photos from places you've been that include exes so you don't want to display them but at the same time you don't want to toss them because they're of a cool place but the clothes is where I was pretty lost I mean I'd be asking about that not the a-hole if you found the box lying around in storage I'd say you were maybe overreacting but why the hell is he hiding it from you and opening it seemingly every night that is so weird I'd give him one of your socks too to his collection and get the hell out of there all right so that I'm not completely repeating the same points over and over I think I'm gonna end the episode there guys hope you enjoyed this one today I hope you had a good night's sleep day whatever you're up to and I'll see you in the next episode say hi to out Rumaki alright guys that's all for today's video I hope you enjoyed this one today tell me what you thought of it down in the comments below um if you're not subscribed to the channel I would love you to subscribe because I love your face and I love seeing you here every single day that you are here in this video I don't know what else to say today guys I hope you enjoyed the content I do have a second channel that's called Maki to link should be up on the screen somewhere here if you don't have ad block installed if you don't know where to find the channel you can go to my main page just click on the marquee face and it should be on the right somewhere there or on channels if you're unfair I hope you guys have a good one I'll see you in the next one bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 39,482

Rating: 4.8789062 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: -mHdxhFcDdc

Length: 147min 2sec (8822 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 26 2020