r/AmiTheA**Hole For Forcing A Baby Name My Wife Doesn't Want?

g'day there guys I want to say you look damn fine today and you've always looked damn fine every single day of your life back at it again with another episode of oz /mi the a-hole now if you love the content like I love you I want you to sit back relax Chuck a prawn on the barbie I like on the video and get ready for some bloody good content posted by user am I the a-hole unique name titled am I the a-hole for wanting my son to have a unique name I'm age and a half months pregnant with my baby number two baby Wan Dante was born in 2013 at 31 weeks and we sadly lost him within a few days getting pregnant again has been incredibly difficult from birth an emotional and medical standpoint I was so scared to lose another baby that figures I refused to even try and once we did they took two years and a lot of medication my second son is due towards the end of June and my husband seems set on calling him first name Dante last name in memory of our first child's I told him no I'm not comfortable with that and I want him to have his own name where he won't feel like he's having to grow up as a replacement husband has threatened to walk out more than once over this since it's always been his dream to have a son called Dante and he feels like he never got that we also have an adopted daughter called Danielle and I don't want their names to be so similar am I to a halt for refusing to budge on this edits if we give our son the middle name Dante that is what my husband wants to refer to him as sorry it had basically be his first name I can see you're clearly a very uncomfortable with this and given the circumstances Opie I don't blame you for refusing to budge on this it would be a very uncomfortable thing to constantly be reminded of that and your husband being so unwilling to accept that is a bit of a yikes for me dog I'd say you wouldn't be the a-hole for refusing to budge on this and I don't blame you for it no a-holes here this is a sensitive situation and I am so sorry for your loss I don't have much advice because I can see the value of both sides this baby is never going to replace Dante but it is clear that your partner sees this as a way to keep that child present I don't criticize the idea it used to be traditional that subsequent children carried the name of the lost child's I understand wanting this child to not feel any pressure about the idea of being a replacements however regardless of the name that will be how you raise and treat the baby not the a-hole your husband is using incredibly flawed logic and digging in his heels of course you can't name the baby the same as his deceased brother that would be incredibly cruel not the a-hole that's a great way to make your child feel like he's nothing more than a replacement for your dead child your husband needs therapy in my opinion he already has a son named Dante yes he did not lymph long but he still existed naming the new baby in my opinion erases the other baby and that is not fudging cool am I the a-hole for wanting my son to have a unique name update my son was born on June 22nd at a healthy 7 pounds 13 ounces my husband admitted that he was trying to make our new son into Dante he also said that he was very scared and it's not that he wanted to divorce me so much as escape the situation he was in he decided he wanted some time away so took our daughter to camp on his parents property for a weekend and came back feeling much better and ready for our son and whatever the world would throw at us we decided to name our son Taylor so that together Danielle and Taylor may carry the legacy of our lost son thank you everyone that offered supports and advice I just wanted to say how strong you are as a person I've never had any kids but I can't imagine how hard it was for you to have him go away for the weekend just after your new baby was born it sounds like it was definitely the best thing for you and your family there stay strong and keep kicking ass he went away last weekend's I went into labor and gave birth Monday it was actually quite nice having a weekend to myself before the baby came he left me with enough frozen meals to feed a small army and I spent the weekend in pajamas catching up on TV I've missed I even managed to have some friends over in the garden for a mini baby shower and a name reveal party I was initially think same that he took off leaving you with a newborn even if he did take your daughter with him but now it seems it was before baby and it sounds like it worked out well I would have loved for my husband to take our oldest away for the weekend before I had my second and get my lost alone time for a long time glad you enjoyed it Dante like Devil May Cry yep Devil May Cry was the first game my husband ever played and the name stuck with him surprised he didn't want to name his son virgle he did suggest it but I vetoed it as I had an uncle Virgil who was a bit his tailor a unisex name yes it is another commenter said it started out as a male named after the job tailor and in the 1900s it started being used for girls I've always preferred it as a boy's name though and I think it's more common as a boy's name where we're from my grandparents had a boy called Joseph nicknamed him guru he died of leukemia my grandma got pregnant and nicknamed the child juror after a couple years they decided to literally get rid of him because it was so painful to see him and remembering Little Joe so he was sent to live with his grandma he can't imagine the trauma of lost identity the former child carried until his death last year it is good that your son has a different name he will have a whole new identity for himself posted by user cactus lover forever titled would I be the a-hole for planting prickly bushes in my front yard to keep the neighbors kids from my property throw away for obvious reasons I moved into a detached townhouse a few months ago it's a rental I'm leasing it for a year with the option to extend that within a second year or possibly buy the house my driveway is right next to the neighbors it's big enough to fit two regular-sized cars and halfway down my driveway there's a path leading around my house on one side of the path is my house on the other side about three meters of the yard is mine ever since I moved in I've been having issues with the neighbors using my driveway for parking turning their cars storing their other stuff play etc etc asking them to stop using it and keep their items on their own property has not worked so I placed a few large plants installed a camera and a no trespassing sign and that helped a bit at least the cars are gone the last few weeks with these stay home advice I've been working from home but the neighbors kids are making that really hard they're about five and seven boys and they keep ringing my doorbell multiple times a day to ask if they can play with my dog if I want to play with them or anything else they can think of I ask them to stop it so I can work which of course didn't work so I asked their parents and was told boys will be boys and they weren't going to do anything about it sad face to keep my sanity intact I removed the battery from the doorbell but now they keep running around in my front yard on the path around the house banging on my windows banging on my doors and actually tried to open the gate to my backyard this morning and as they heard me in there I once again asked them to stop told them I will not be allowing them to play with the dog anymore at all if they keep this up and they left sending over their dad I told him to keep the boys away from my property and door if nots I'll be planting some prickly bushes to teach them to stay away from other people's property and shut the door in his face would I be the a-hole if I actually did that I'd love to place a fence or something but as it may be a short-term rental I have to be able to return everything in its original state for now and it's I'm getting a lot of comments about social distancing and lack of isolation of the boys I'm from the European Union my country isn't on lockdown and it's or was I'm not a hundred percent sure anymore advised to let small children play outside I'd say you wouldn't be the a-hole if you installed prickly bushes like that I can see where people would think man that's a bit messed up you're intentionally trying to harm the kids I'm sure the kids aren't gonna go face planting their faces into prickly bushes I feel like that's a bit of a stretch I think they're just going to avoid them it's like oh I touched a hot surface I'm gonna keep away from that now so I don't think o P is the a-hole for doing that especially in the current climate of the world not the a-hole their parents are lazy and sound like they just want to make you a free babysitter boys will be boys shake my damn head I would straight up go and ring the parents doorbell once every 30 minutes or so for an entire day what he wants I just wanted to say hi and then walk away repeat over and over again until the parents get fed up oh I'm sorry is it annoying to have your door bell rung all day long I would take a sick day just to commit and knock on the windows and doors when they stop answering then run around to their property yelling and knocking on the sides when the police come you can tell them you thought it was a friendship ritual since they let their kids do it to you every day all day long you were just reciprocating with the best of intention not the a-hole these parents are jerks be petty and install a motion sensor that sets up a sprinkler system I'd love to but I've been turning part of my driveway in front yard into a vegetable garden meaning I'll be there quite often for the next few months and don't want to get soaking wet myself every single time aren't there motion sensors you could enable and disable through an app or with the remotes probably but I'm 100% certain that within one week I'd either misplaced the remotes do something to kill the app or something else to sabotage myself how about a super soaker or water balloons every time they come over soken considering they're running around with water guns right now spraying everyone that passes it had probably turn into more visits asking me to join them updates would I be the a-hole for planting prickly bushes in my front yard to keep the neighbors kids from my property about a week after my post I planted a wall of blackberries and raspberries at the two sides of my garden facing the driveway about 30 centimeters from the edge sir no overhanging branches on the other side of the berry wall I planted lots of stuff like strawberries and tomatoes to reach the tomatoes and strawberries from the driveway you either go through the fruit bushes or walk up to my house walk about two meters along the side of the house into my windows and then walk into my actual garden not something you do by mistake for about two weeks it was somewhat quiets but I still found the kids in my driveway every single day as far as I know they did not enter the garden and I hadn't noticed them walking around my house anymore so I figured the bushes were working about one week ago berry season started and my bushes are now full of raspberries and there's lots of strawberries as well the neighbors noticed first I caught the boys picking and eating raspberries so I told them off and dropped them off at home told their mum I caught them stealing that's how I see it even though it's fruits and that I'd called the cops next time she huffed and told me to grow up but took the boys inside anyway after that it was quiet up until yesterday afternoon when I went out for a while and found the dad and his two sons right in the middle of my garden when I returned clearing my bushes and plants I didn't even confront them just called the cops from a distance and they hadn't noticed me yet and started filming them after making the call luckily two cops showed up after ten minutes or so and they confronted the neighbors as they were still picking berries they told them they were trespassing and that the berry picking was in fact considered stealing and that I could press charges for the first time I noticed a bit of fear in my neighbor he was having trouble finding his words and kept looking back at his house I guess hoping his wife would show up to yell at the cops they all went inside with the cops so I just went home as well after a while the cops came by and asked me if I wanted to press charges I asked them if they felt like they scared the neighbors enough to stay away I got a small smile and yes about him but the wife had just kept shouting at them and her husband about the little [ __ ] living next door I told them no for now ask them if I'd be allowed to get an extra camera set up on the wall between my garden and the road to cover the entire front garden plus driveway they said that's allowed as long as it's on my side of the wall so now I'm getting an extra camera installed one neighbor knows I'm done messing around but his wife isn't there yet and if I ever catch any of them again the cops will be called and possible charges to follow all right and our next post we've already covered this one so I'm just gonna read the initial post and I'll read the comments on the second update post posted by user cupcake from hell 11 titles am I the a-hole for reporting my teacher a very very uncomfortable joke I female 20 have been in a bakery course since September and every Wednesday we have an 8 hour hands-on class the teacher 50 male is a very friendly man but his sense of humor is kind of on the edge of acceptable he'd been making sex jokes about me and some other girls in my class all year but they were still kind of funny last week he called me from the other side of the room saying his friend sent him a video and it made him think of me as a jerk I approached him and he gets the video outs everyone else was busy doing their thing he showed me the video and skipped through it it was a lesbian orgy porn I got super uncomfortable and froze I couldn't do anything but chuckle and shock so I laughed it off didn't say anything about it and went back to what I was doing I know I should have said something then but I just couldn't it's been making me lose sleep since last week I feel gross doubts objectified and my self-worth has plummeted so today I decided to call someone at school who I trust I told her what happened and that I wanted to arrange a meeting with witnesses where I tell him that he crossed a boundary but she said she wanted to tell his boss and get an investigation started now he's going to get in trouble because of me even though I wanted to give him a warning first am I the a-hole for reporting my teacher over a jerk and it's I thought I'd post this because I had a lot of trouble trying to figure out the things I was feeling never in my wildest dreams had I expected this much of a response thank you for all your thoughts up firts and the awards have gathered some useful information and I feel better knowing that people support me even though they're strangers on the Internet thanks guys and yet the verdict for this one was RP is not the a-hole he absolutely stabbed many boundaries and I think that an investigation does need to be studied updates am I the a-hole for reporting my teacher over a very uncomfortable joke I'm sorry for the late updates I was busy with work we are now a few weeks after I reported him last week I had my first class with the teacher I have to do an exam about chocolate for him now school did jack crap they talked to him once and he's acting like he didn't do anything wrong he won't talk to me he's bitter towards people that stand with me at least I only have two more classes and then my end examination I feel like crap I don't know what will happen to my grades and the grades from the day he showed me the video have yet to be posted online so I have no idea whether he is grading objectively or not thanks for all your advice on my post a few weeks ago it really helped me through all this crap what he did wasn't a joke doesn't matter if he knows this himself or not it was not okay I know this now and I take confidence out of that fact anyways I'm off to make some praline chocolates thanks again people of reddit's love you I'm so sorry the school did nothing and that you have to deal with this unfortunately I'm also not surprised any chance you'd put up a public post about the school seems like it's the only way to get anything done about this sort of behavior plus I know I wouldn't want to sign up for a class with someone like that best of luck with your exams I kind of understand the reasoning it's only a couple more classes and bringing in another teacher at this point might make things difficult for my classmates so I'm not going to make any more of a fuss about it but next year I'm definitely going to another school to follow a chocolate and ice cream making course is your school included on any of those rate my teacher type websites potential future students would be interested in your experience and you may save someone else from going through what you are currently I had a similar experience with a mixology teacher and I never went back for a few add-on classes I'd paid for because of its if I'd known the teacher was a creep beforehand I would have chosen a different school unfortunately not it's not really a thing where I live that really sucks good for you for standing up for yourself and don't let this experience stop you from continuing to do so in the future unfortunately the culinary industry still has a lot of toxic masculinity fueling it so this likely won't be the last time you encounter a creep next time call him out very loudly in front of everyone and publicly shame that behavior that's what worked for the female chefs and bakers I've worked with don't take that crap run that crap would your parents be of any help the school's hoping you'll just let it slide but if your parents hear about it and start in on them it'll be way harder for them to ignore I totally get wanting to get past it but if nothing happens I doubt you'll be the last girl he does this to the new clear routes is posting it on their Facebook page or some kind of public forum but I definitely get not wanting to do that too bad my parents can't do anything about it since Simon adults but I'm definitely going to file another complaint with like the principal himself after I've graduated for now I just want to get through my exams and get my degree so I can go do something else I'm a professor what you need to do is find out who the school's title 9 coordinator is and file an official title 9 complaint if you want to contact me privately to give me the name of the school I'd be happy to help you figure out who the title 9 coordinator is you're being retaliated against for reporting sexual harassment and the school is failing to meet their obligations none of this is remotely okay posted by user close cousins titles am I the a-hole for telling my wife that I think it's wrong to make out 13 year old hang out with her same aged cousin so my wife has two sisters and is close to both that mom died when they were young so they bonded over the loss and became very close we have two kids Chris 16 male and Kaylee 13 female my wife's older sister also has two kids Arwen 17 male and Emma 16 female they live about five minutes from us and our kids attend the same school their voice hung out is a group of three my Chris and their Emma are a week apart in age and Owen is only a little over older so they grew up together and used to call themselves triplets they're still quite close my wife's younger sister has a daughter Gia who is three months older than mine the youngest sister always made comments when our girls were babies about how she can't wait until they're the ages of the big kids meaning Chris Owen and Emma because they'll be just as close the problem is that Haley doesn't like hanging out with Chiara and it's becoming more obvious as they get older that they had two different people Kayleigh like soccer and video games Jia isn't allowed to play video games and isn't interested in sports Kaylie is a social butterfly and Jia is a homebody all of this was manageable but Jia also has some more immature interests she still enjoys playing with dolls and engages in pretend play for example when Kelly goes over to their house to sleepover she says Jia likes playing school or mummys playing school means they set up all of the different stuffed animals and pretend to teach them mummies is when they play with the baby dolls and pretend to be mommies I have nothing against pretend play and I think it's nice that Jia doesn't feel pressured to grow up too fast but it's clear that Kaylee and her are on different wavelengths now that things are opening back up Gia's mum said she can't wait to have Kaylee over Kaylee said she doesn't want to sleep over at Cheers she said she'll still interact with Jia at family events but doesn't want to sleep over there anymore or go over to play this upset my wife allots she said Kaylee doesn't get it say later that night I told my wife I sided with Kaylee I don't think she should be forced to hang out with Jia my wife flipped and said that I'm an only child so I will never understand her family values and how this isn't up for discussion I told her that wasn't fair Kaylee should get a say and she said that you don't get a say when it comes to family we argued for a while before I told her that we would be having this discussion later and she didn't talk to me for the rest of the nights was either a hole I haven't brought it up again but planned to unless I am totally in the wrong and it's I thought I made this clear but we'll say it again because of the comments I am getting Kaylee is not interested in hanging out with other than for full family events for example we normally have dinner with my wife's sister and dad every Sunday Kaylee is fine with hanging out with gia then but doesn't want to beyond that additional info other than her immature interests gia is a normal thirteen-year-old girl edits gia does cry when she doesn't get her way and that's another reason Kaylee is no longer enjoying playing with her cousin I wouldn't say it's a tantrum behavior her mum and my wife think it's just hormones and normal but she locks herself in the bathroom until she pulls herself together I should have mentioned that earlier but my wife and her sisters think it's normal teen girl stuff edits sorry for so many edits just trying to paint a clearer picture last summer gia and Kaylie hung out about 4 to 5 days a week now this was normal for Chris Emma and Owen when they were 12 and 13 I would say they were over more often than that and had sleepovers most nights they have a lot of the same friends since they go to the same school and play some of the same sports my wife and younger sister are trying to recreate this with Kayleigh and Gia but Kayleigh doesn't want it again she is okay with the weekly dinners but doesn't want the one-on-one playdates and sleepovers with Gia I'm getting a lot of heat over the word immature all I meant by that is Kayleigh who stopped playing mummys a long time ago sees it as immature ah if Kayleigh suggests another game then gia cries and deluxe herself in the bathroom to me that is childlike behavior but I do not think any less of Gia because of this I do not dislike her I love her like she is my own blood I'm very sorry for hurting people with the use of the word immature I'm gonna go with you and not the a-hole for not forcing Kayleigh to interact with someone she doesn't want to interact with you've made that very clear and you spelt it out in more detail than necessary I feel like but it is very good that you brought all of these details up and I don't blame you for that at all Opie I don't think that you're the a hole in this situation but I do understand why other people would think you are I don't think it's right there not the a-hole your wife is controlling Kaylie is 13 and old enough to realize what interests sir they may become friends as they get older but forcing it is awkward and will never work this Jia will grow up in time if Opie's wife and sister managed not to completely torch the relationship between the two girls now they will have room to grow closer as they age my siblings and I basically hated each other until we were all adults my mother always held fast that we were family we will be there for each other forever but never forced us into interacting or anything we didn't once now we all live in different parts of the country but love each other dearly and visit often Opie's wife can teach Kaylee that Jia will be a lifelong sister to her someone she can count on to always be there for her without forcing her to sleep over or even be particularly close with her during their teen years grandma always said that family has each other's back but we don't have to be best friends mine always said then your family you love them yes but you're not obligated to like them yep my mom always said family isn't the journey it's the starting points and destination and all the stops in between anybody can hop in and out of the car whenever they likes we were all heading to the same place so you know it's bit grim if you put it like that updates am I the a-hole for telling my wife that I don't think it is right to force our daughter to hang out with her same-aged cousin updates I talked my wife about everything and she agreed she overreacted she said that after her mom died she felt like it was her job to hold the family together she is the middle child so she felt like she was the link between her two sisters they dad stressed to them how much they needed to stick together and that is where the weekly family dinners started it was a way to bring everyone together when my wife got pregnant with our son Chris at the same time her older sister got pregnant with her daughter Emma my wife said it felt like fate especially since her older sister's son Owen would only be a little more than a year older than both kids my wife said watching all three give them bonds like they did made her proud because she knew it is white so her mum would once even now the kids are close my son slept over their house last night they play some school sports together have classes together share some friends and sit at the same lunch table when we found out we were having Kayleigh only a few months after gia was born my wife and her sister imagined the girls growing up together the same way the older three did for a while they did but now they are growing apart it has been hard on both my wife and a younger sister when the older three were in middle school they hung out every day in the summer but that was my choice and hugely with a larger common friend group I explained to my wife that this is different because we would be forcing Kayleigh to miss out on time with her friends to spend with her cousin multiple times a week even though they have virtually nothing in common my wife apologized to Kayleigh and talked to her sister about giving the girls some time apart we will still see them once a week for Sunday dinners but we aren't going to force it my wife's sister was upset because Kayleigh is she is only friends but said she will just have to spend more time with Gia to make her feel special my wife and I feel bad but we want to make sure our daughter knows that she has the right to say no and have that be respected if she isn't comfortable with the situation even when it's family I'm glad your wife has come around it's important to show your daughter her once or importance as well hearing your wife say she doesn't get a say in your original post made me so angry based on your original post and what you've written here it sounds like Gia's mom baby's her way too much and I'm guessing indulges her tantrums and gives in to her that could be why she doesn't have any friends not your problem to deal with and I'd recommend not saying it to your sister-in-law yeah we feel that gia is being babied whenever Kelly goes over there and suggests playing something other than dolls gia cries locks herself in the bathroom and my sister-in-law ends up telling Kaylee to just go along with it - stop gia from being upset yeah that doesn't sound healthy at all no wonder why Kaylee doesn't want to hang out with if Jia doesn't learn to grow up on multiple levels she's going to have even bigger problems Gia's parents are doing her a great disservice and need to parent properly how will Jia face the world when she doesn't know how to make friends doesn't take no for an answer and cries screams and locks herself away whenever there is a problem are you sure she isn't on the spectrum I have no clue if she is on the spectrum or not I don't think she has ever been tested my daughter exhibits some of Gia's behaviors as well she has severe anxiety disorder and that creates a lot of stress for her there may be bigger explanations behind Gia's behavior other than she's spoiled I doubt she wants to be so upset or without friends a hidden issue makes more sense am I the a-hole for quote unquote ruining my kid's life after she ruined a dress x31 and i male 32 had a sea f-16 way too young we're friendly co-parents one big rule we share is if I oughta break something that she pays for it now sis 27 and I are the only grandkids aren't never married instead she worked with Grandma and Grandpa at their seamstress store and took it over when they retired sis's girlfriend 29 proposed last year grandpa offered to make future sister-in-law a custom suits which she was over the moon about grandma had me ask sis what her dream dress was and record the conversation sis thinkin was just between us taught me in great detail what her dream dress was though said it was way too expensive so she would get something much cheaper well a few months later grandma surprised sis with her dream wedding dress it fit perfectly and everyone cried sadly grandma recently passed away which hit us all hard sis was devastated but decided that the dress meant grandma would still be there with us at the wedding the issue comes in with C she's very large much larger than sis three days ago we decided to go visit sis and see how she was doing it was great but then she asked if she could try on the dress sis politely said no and C made a face but dropped it later we decided to go grab dinner sis and I went to pick up our orders but si decided to stay and play with sis's dog we got back and the dress was destroyed si had apparently tried to get it on popping some seams and got stuck instead of waiting for help she cut her way outs the dress was hacked to bits sis was devastated and asked us to leave I grounded si and cold odds with some pictures asking if it could be saved she said there was no way she said she'd make a new one but it wasn't the same then she dropped the bomb on me grandma had hands most of the dress used super-expensive fabric and put almost 500 hours in making that dress since it was the only family waiting that we would have in total the dressed cost $12,000 give or take see has about 15,000 saved from various jobs as well as winning writing competitions this was supposed to help her in college I took her to the bank and set in motion transferring all the funds since as her parents I still have control over its $12,000 to anse to pay for the new dress 3000 to my sister's wedding as an emotional distress tax I explained exactly why this was happening to see but she sobbed the entire time asking what was she supposed to do for college and saying it wasn't her fault I told her she could get a job if she didn't get a scholarship and it was her fault for trying on the dress after she'd been told no and for not waiting until we got back a few pops seams could have been fixed hacking the dress to pieces couldn't see told X and while she agrees C was in the wrong after the full story said I shouldn't have ruined her future for a free dress I reminded her of our rule and she still thinks I'm wrong sir am I the a-hole he'll edit since people are mentioning they don't understand the 3000 that was to make up to my sister that C destroyed the last gift our dead grandma ever gave her I consider that part of the price of destroying the dress since even if an tree makes it it's lost a great deal of its sentimental value I pointed out how young we had her because I wanted to explain how a 31 year old has a 16 year old kid I do not resent having her she's the best thing I've ever done I also brought up C's size because sis has Crohn's disease and thus is very tiny the dress was made for her size and C is much larger than sis I love C as she is but just holding the dress up it was clear it wouldn't fit the character count is very limiting added to to clarify the money was seized have fun at college money not her college fund my ex and I are paying for whatever scholarships turns when she was asking what she would do for college she was asking what would she do for fun and to buy things that we didn't pay for again the character count is very limiting so I had to cut details to post-edit three sir I got off the phone with my ex about 20 minutes ago at some of your suggestions I sent her the pictures and she freaked she apparently didn't believe me when I said it had been hacked to parts and believed it was just a few torn seams she was pretty much on my side after she told me that she spent the day badgering our daughter asking her why she did what she did and finally see cracked and since she was mad that grandma wasn't alive to make her address and that it was unfair my sister got a free beautiful dress as a reminder when my daughter got nothing despite the many things she was given after the funeral she tried it on took it off when the seams popped and then in anger hacked it apart if she couldn't have a dress from Grandma no one could her own words honestly knowing she did it on purpose has just made things worse the fact that she could be so cruel that's not the daughter we tried to raise she will be going to therapy whether that's in person when local therapists start taking new clients again or one of those apps people have mentioned we need to talk about it more her punishment stands as is though we're going to see how therapy goes as for all the same stirs who have reached outs please know untouched by your kindness I really am my aunt is going to see if she can incorporate at least some of the fabric from the old dress into the new one maybe at least try to save the beading but if there's anything usable I'll reach out I so so appreciate all of your offers you're incredibly kind people I have yet to talk to my sister but I have talked to her fiance sis isn't doing well the dress has caused a Crohn's flare-up so she's stuck in bed sick which honestly I'm not surprised Crohn's is often triggered by stressful events so I was expecting it I told fiance about aunts making a new dress and she'd promised she'd take the remains over to aunt on Monday she's thankful for us addressing the issue but is asked to fill some space from sis so she can recover and heal and hopefully not end up in the hospital as for the 3k we'll see what my sisters state is in a few days if she has to go to the hospital then the money is forfeit for her medical bills since it was seized selfishness that put her there so she can pay for it if sis does not end up in the hospital then I'll consider giving it back after she's gone to therapy for a few months if she's accepted what she did was wrong and work to make amends we'll see what the next few months spring I guess I don't even need to make a judgment call after that it's pretty obvious and like who the a-hole is in this situation I'll read a few comments anyway just to give some perspective from readers not the a-hole absolutely not she ruined her own future in my mind that dress wasn't 12 or even $15,000 it was priceless it could have and should have been passed down for generations I'm horrified your daughter did such a thing most kids don't go to college with savings so she's just going to have to tough it out I hope she looks back one day and realizes the payment she made was severely short I am so sorry this has happened to your family agree it sounds like our P's family are just gracious generous people I wouldn't blame any bride who demands compensation for a ruined wedding dress let alone one that was custom made by an now deceased family member RP you didn't ruin your daughter's future $15,000 doesn't go that far in college she's young and it she'll make that money back again edits I just reread this it also sounds like your daughter doesn't think she did anything wrong my sister didn't even demand anything this is the rule and I decided to uphold it she just thought the dress was a loss hey RP since the original dress was hacked spit meant so much hit me up I've been sewing for over a decade 13 years and I would love to turn some of the threads into something lovely for your sister she may not have the dress but she could have something like a hairpiece made from it and it's all my thanks so much for the kind words and reddit Awards I can see Opie did read it from his update and honestly something small and symbolic like a handpiece would really go a long way into at least easing that burden on the wrong sister I feel really bad for her posted by user inked dude 12:44 titled mi the a-hole for getting a tattoo sir I 28 male I'm currently living with my girlfriend 26 female of 2 years cuz of quarantine and after the restrictions were lifted in the area we decided to keep living together for a bit longer I'm a personal trainer and a fitness model and my girlfriend is a model so because of the lockdown my girlfriend started following this weird vegan girl she does everything this chick does from her diet and workouts which was fine too not shaving I didn't like it but I decided to just stay silent about it I'm a pretty vain guy and I'd like to keep myself as good-looking as possible I'm shallow I know so before you come at me yes I also shave all over my body I was fine with it until she initiated sex I told her as nicely as possible that I didn't find her body hair attractive so I passed on that oh she started yelling at me with the whole my body my rules and I told her I didn't force her to shave I just didn't like the idea of it I never said anything bad about it by the way just that it wasn't my cup of tea I then said if that rule applies to her it applies to me too and I slept on the couch the next day I decided to go to my best friend's house whose roommates was a tattoo artist lockdown restrictions are lifted I've been talking about getting a tattoo on my chest for the longest time but my girlfriend always discouraged me and told me I'm not allowed to get one I already have a half sleeve by the way I got a tattoo of a lion and I absolutely love it sir I came home and my girlfriend saw it and went ballistic she yelled at me for being an a-hole and cried she asked me how could you do this to me and that I told her my body my rules she stormed out and locked herself in the room and hasn't come out since I'm on the couch right now and thinking about if I took it too far so reddit's am I the a-hole that's a tough one like obviously you know you're an a-hole for that action and I'm sure she feels like an a-hole for suddenly pushing those boundaries on you and you reacting the way you did so my judgment here lies in everyone sucks here and I'm questioning whether you guys are going to fix this one or not or continue being childish with your tit-for-tat retaliations well like my body I'm gonna do this my body I do this my recommendations is see a therapist or breakup because the way it's looking right now you guys aren't willing to sit down and have a honest conversation with each other about how you're feeling why you're feeling this way and how we're going to fix this one although in my belief if you want to chest tattoo and it's something that you've always wanted you should be able to logically say to your girlfriend why you should be allowed to have it and that she should be accepting of it same way that you should be accepting of hair it's natural it's the human body it's what we do everyone sucks here y'all seem petty as hell maybe have actual discussions about things rather than dropping things like I'm not sexually attracted to you anymore when she initiates sex or going and getting a tattoo without telling her you can say that you're not telling her what to do with her body but when you basically say I won't have sex with you if you have body hair then that is a lot of pressure for her to change do I agree with her telling you not to can--it a - no this is why it's an everyone sucks here she's an a-hole for thinking she can tell you what to do with your body but you are supposedly adults and you should discuss these things and if these discussions reveal that you really can't handle female body hair and she can't handle tattoos then call it a day but don't try and score points against one another which is what it sounds like you're doing here so much this and to add you both are grown adults try at least to live as some and solve your problems like adults talk and much more importantly listen to each other the difference in your choices is she can if she wants shave your removal is way more complicated and expensive and of course your choice is childish I'm pretty sure you know it so maybe give her time to cool off and then initiate talking to each other and keep it open because if you go that ballistic over small things it's better for you both to separate everyone sucks you grow up and it regards too and of course your choice is childish I'm pretty sure you know it's why is choosing to get a second tattoo which he's wanted for ages a childish choice the only way it would be an issue is if he used her money for it in terms of the tattoo the only childish thing is her telling him he's not allowed to get one and saying how could you do this to me seen as it didn't do anything to her I think by calling a childish there pointing out that mirroring her rhetoric my body my choice when skipping shaving is temporary and easily reversible and tattoos a permanent and difficult to undo is minimizing her points by applying it to a substantially different situation and in a way turning a disagreements more contentious I over all agree with your point though she's out of line for thinking his tattoo was doing something to her and not allowed I suppose your rights but I imagine he got fed up with her not allowing it and this incident was the last straw it's not like it was a spur-of-the-moment thing he's wanted one for a long time and my opinion of this one it really just doesn't sound like these two are a good fit for each other that's just based off what he said and that's a skewed perspective but as we always see here when someone shows you their true self you believe them posted by user another wedding post titled am i the a-hole for not allowing my friend to bring her service animal guide dog to my wedding I 28th female will be getting married in September I have a blind friend who mostly relies on her guide dog the dog obviously has access rights to all places now I'm in a sticky situation and I can sense that I will be the a-hole I have three illnesses that I take 23 pills a day for severe asthma and you guessed it's an extremely severe dog allergy usually when I meet with my friends we meet in the open and I take two allergy pills however because of all the other medication I take these pills make me extremely drowsy to the point where I am officially not allowed to drive and I usually crash as soon as I get home from our get-togethers our wedding will be very intimate ie we will be in relatively small rooms I feel horrible about this but I don't think I can let my friends bring her dog it just wouldn't work I talked about it with my fiance and some friends finally I talked to my friend about it explained the situation and said I would love her to come but she can't bring her dog I said that for Vaughn ritual friends had offered to be on roster and assist her should she need it alternatively if she's not comfortable with this she could bring a person of her choosing to the wedding or I'd pay for a professional aid for the day I think it's important to note that her dog is not for any additional it's issues like seizures or anything like that unfortunately she was less than happy with my suggestions she accused me of being able estándar disability can be switched off for the day I understand what I asked was a lot and it is a difficult topic I told her to tell me if she changes their mind and I'd be happy to make arrangements but I won't budge alright Opie I must say you're not the a hole in this situation I'd say it's perfectly valid for you to stand your ground yes she's blind and it can be seen as ablest saying hey having a dog in this small enclosed space here is going to put me on the edge of death in some circumstances and I'd rather not go through that on my wedding day of all days I'm sure that could be taken as insensitive but she has given her so many different options on the wedding day of other people that will help and not trigger these reactions to the dog as she already has been so I would say that the friend is the a-hole for trying to force the dog into the closed environments and ruining the day for Opie with her already fragile health conditions I'm sorry but Opie is not the a-hole no a-holes here I was so ready to label you an a-hole after reading the title but I think you have extenuating circumstances for not wanting a service dog or any other dog at your wedding I can also understand why your friend would be upset this probably isn't the first time someone has tried to stop her from bringing her service dog somewhere I feel the same way Opie may have to just accept the fact that their friend won't attend without their dog and so won't be able to attend the wedding on the other hand the friend does know that Opie has a severe allergy and the pills make her extremely sleepy I find it a bit inconsiderate of the friend because both friend and Opie can't turn off their disability and health issues are for one day and dopey tried to find a solution even offering to pay however I also understand that it was unpleasant for the friend to hear that because they probably get that a lot from people who don't understand that their disability isn't something they can turn off Opie is fully aware that it can't be turned off considering she offered the friend a bunch of alternative options besides bringing her dog I wonder if Opie explained I wonder if Opie explained the allergy thing otherwise I can't see why her friend would be so upset by this nor a horse here I think this is just a misunderstanding your chronic illnesses and allergies are a disability - I can understand why your friend would be opposed to going out without a guide she has used - and they also get that you wouldn't want to be asleep or severely drowsy on your wedding day I would talk to your friend more and see if any of the solutions you mentioned could work or see if either of you could come up with more options I feel bad for both you and your friend this is a difficult situation definitely agree with all your points er the one thing I take issue with from the friend though is her accusation that Opie is ablest I understand that that can come from a place of frustration but it's unfair to say it regardless because in this situation it's completely untrue yes I totally agree I want to believe that it was said in the heat of the moment and that she will change her mind when she cools down but if she genuinely believes that she would be completely wrong definitely agree I've seen several posts lately detailing events where a friend is called an Opie ablest when it's not the case so I'm definitely a bit more sensitive to it right now that I normally would be main reason that that particular bit caught my eye posted by user throw of a one six one eight oh three three nine and eight seven titled am i the a hole for not splitting inheritance with my disowned brother when I was a college freshman and my brother was a sophomore he came out as gay counting on the fact that for the time our parents seemed relatively liberal and modern well they were nots they became cold and distant started engaging only in small talk with him around and invited him at home only for Christmas and Easter asking him to not make a big deal out of it with the entire family he finally decided to confront them over dinner and they started shouting that he was ungrateful he wanted to humiliate them in front of anyone and he left crying after that my parents and siblings started behaving like he disappeared for no reason any time me or a cousin would bring up the facts my parents since their siblings would just pretend he left for no reason or saying platitudes about forgetting the past without any actual efforts to reach out to him or apologize he is very smart and right after graduation found a job as coins in an American multinational company they recognized his talents and after a few years they paid for an mba in the US I took a totally different path in life and now I stayed in academia it's a job I love but the salary is quite different I married the love of my life and had three wonderful daughters whilst my brother and his fiancee are happily child-free anyway here comes the issue my parents died a few weeks ago and left everything which sums up to their nice suburb house and holiday home in a nice coastal city to me it is not huge money but enough to pay for my daughter's university if they want to study abroad which I highly encouraged since as an insider I can tell Mike three public universities are degrading my brother did not want to come to the funeral understandably but I texted him when you pass by feel free to pick up anything you want from our parents house so we can sell it he was taken aback since he took for granted that we split the inheritance I was taken aback as well because I never considered that someone who owns three houses in New York and one in Prague someone who flies to Shulman every winter and to Brazil every summer would start fighting over an inheritance you'd be surprised what money does to people he accused me of taking advantage of our parents bigotry and to pose as a progressive until it does not cost me a dime I explained it was simply because I need the money to pay for my daughter's education but I would be happy to give him anything left once they graduates he then replied that how I paid for my offsprings education was none of his concern I replied that if he had to be like that then appearances decisions are none of my concern his significant other whom see I have a very good relationship with him called me today saying that he agreed with me about the money but when I said that I did not care about my parents's decision my brother took it as I don't care they disowned you and he was deeply hurt by that I tried to call to apologize but he won't return my calls am I the a hole here edits since so many people think I had no relationship with him and I sided with my parents it's not the case I kept in touch with him and up to now we had a very good relationship we tried to see each other as much as possible we live in different continents and we called about once a week me and my cousins had big fights with my parents about the way they treated him I had almost no relationship with my parents because apart from being homophobic a-holes they were also very difficult people to be around and my wife could not suffer them headed to his fiancee just called me again he talked my brother out of contacting lawyers but he is still very ticked I told Kevin his fiancee I understand and I was willing to apologize and discuss this through I am waiting for a response yeah this is a hard one here I'd see everyone kind of sucks in this situation I was saying that Opie didn't really suck until it got to this inheritance parts and you know money changes people hope he could have split the inheritance with him and called it that but I also see that this is an easy way for ope to secure a future for his kids and get them through college when they need it and get a good education I also see the hurt that the brother is going through with years of this bigotry in just being put on him by his parents I don't really think that there is a good solution to this one besides getting in contact and hashing it out like they have the way it stands now everyone is the a-hole but I'm glad that Opie is going to bridge that gap and contact him everyone sucks here but I think you already knew that your brother 100% was not entitled to go to their funeral your parents were homophobic and put him down all his life and obviously stopped giving a crap about him and it should be on you to make sure he is still given his inheritance however as you said he seems very well off and from what we know from your post he doesn't have children he needs to worry about right now not saying he automatically deserves it less but he could probably live without it to be honest this seems like a huge misunderstanding and I completely understand why your brother is so shaken up about it he was hoping that his parents would show an ounce of love for him that he never had gotten from them and now he never will I'm sure it's extremely heartbreaking for him but you didn't see that side and were only thinking of your kids futures as you rightfully should be I know now you see the error and have tried to apologize but the best thing you can do is give it time his husband explained to you the issue and I'm sure you've explained how you misunderstood and how me sorry you were and I'm sure those words will reach your brothers soon give him time to process his emotions and grieving but also make sure he knows her intention was not to hurt his feelings and you were ignorant to the situation when apologies are done and over sit down and have an honest discussion with your brother about how you need this money for your kids futures and maybe you both can come to an agreement where you both can get what you need good luck to you my friends precisely personally I would think that the right thing to do in this situation would be divide the inheritance up as if your brother had not been disowned if not 50/50 then perhaps one fifth and four fifths with the grandkids each getting a share why it's not Opie's role or responsibility to compensate for the crappy parenting their parents gave to Opie's brother even if there was no homophobia involved what if they left everything to ope would you still be telling Oh Peter split it with his brother I think you're being way too much of a saint my friend and that is always easy to do when giving advice to someone else but when you need the money and your kids can benefit from its you take what you get it is not like Opie manipulated his parents for that money either this sub isn't about legal responsibility he can keep all the money if he wants but he would still be an a-hole for doing sir and yes it's even worse since the brother was disowned for being gay the moral thing would be to include him damn the comments is so split this heaps of people saying you're the a-hole st. not the a-hole everyone sucks here no a-holes here Dan this is wild posted by user Jim nerd eight one three titled am i the a-hole for refusing to give my parents money I'm a 19 year old female with six older siblings my parents spent most of my childhood spending money they didn't have on my siblings so by the time I hit my teenage years I realized I was probably going to have to fend for myself financially when I turn 18 I started babysitting and doing odd jobs around my neighborhood when I was 14 and eventually got part-time jobs during the school year by the time I was 16 I was working three jobs in the summer and two in addition to school when my parents told me they couldn't pay for college I'd already earned enough along with scholarships to be able to put myself through a college and have plenty left over I've continued to work during the school year and have been able to make money during quarantine by tutoring online the issue began a few months ago when my eldest sister twenty-nine female got married my parents spent 30 grand on her wedding taking out a second mortgage to do so to make matters worse my dad was furloughed six days after the wedding they'd effectively dug themselves into a hole they couldn't get out of two weeks ago my mom texted me for the first time since the wedding she didn't say hi Hoss how I was will make any small talk she just said your dad and I need a favor when can we call you I'd expected this none of my elder siblings are doing well financially and they've exhausted all other loan options both from family and the bank I figured they'd text me ask me to loan them a few thousand and promised to pay it back when they could figure things out I was absolutely willing to pitch in a few thousand and had even considered giving them some of my tutoring jobs so they could make some extra cash I was not however expecting them to demand I give them all the money close to $40,000 I'd made from the ages of 14 to 18 the exact statement my mom had made was you made that money under our roof we were the ones who allowed you to work so you only have it because of us anyway we bought you food and clothes for 18 years that money is only a fraction of what you owe us and so on I said that food clothes and shelter with a very minimum it's what they signed up for when they choose to become parents I didn't ask for any of it etc they responded by telling me that if it wasn't for them I wouldn't have the life I have today I said they were being ridiculous and hung up since that day both along with the two of my siblings have continually hounded me about giving them what is rightfully theirs my siblings who have never been asked to give the money are still professing that it's my job as their kid to take care of them I told them they wouldn't see a cent of my hard-earned money and have no right to make such a request I'm torn I feel awful for refusing them outs but on the other hand this was their fault I feel I shouldn't be responsible for fixing their mess am I the a-hole no no you were not the a-hole they suck for putting themselves in such a hole it's not that hard to be like you know what when gonna take out a second mortgage we're not going to give you $30,000 for your wedding it's your wedding here's a small donation that we can dig forward because we suck at keeping and not spending money it is not your fault that all these other people are financially illiterate and didn't see what was coming in the future because they won't aware of their own circumstances that's on their moppy that's not your fault limit contact with them if you have to because money changes people and look what happens when they see that you're making all this money and they're not doing as well as you hope yeah don't blame you keep on doing what you're doing you're not the a hole not the a hole they're poor financial choices and not your faults or your problem speaking purely based on you being a separate person the fact that they expect this from their own child is downright disgusting I'm so sorry that you're being put through this they're poor financial choices are not your fault or problem who the hell takes out a second mortgage just to finance a wedding they dig themselves into debt for one child and expect the only one that seems to have made something of themselves to dig them outs not the a-hole just cut them out completely and cut out any family agreeing with them - you were fiscally responsible Opie if you give the money they'll waste it not the a-hole exactly this not the a-hole they have proven that they are not smart when it comes to money and the fact is that you have fended for yourself most of your life and they didn't help you money-wise so why help them demanding the money I think is the most irritating and some of your siblings pressuring you to give their money oh if they want their parents to have money so bad why don't they give the money themselves instead of asking you rights if anyone owes them it's the sibling who just got married maybe Opie can help her parents outs but it can't be all on her the unfair entitlement here is mind boggling okay first off even if they had gone above and beyond for you in your childhood and also paid your way through college you wouldn't be the a-hole for refusing to give them money parents caring for their kids financially is what parents do it's not something that needs to be made up once you've grown if that were the case then it seems to me your siblings have a lot of paying back to do you're not the a-hole and don't let them hound you until you give in because they'll end up milking you dry and putting you in the same situation as them and your siblings not the a-hole I'm trying to figure out why they put themselves in a hole because of a wedding and then how is it your responsibility to bail them out imagine the kind of crappy parents you need to be to take out a second mortgage on your house for one kid but then demand the other pay you back for being born slash raised god it really makes you think doesn't it it really just makes you think am I the a-hole for getting my family to do a swear tax after my dad told me off for swearing my dad and brothers cuss like sailors but apparently me cussing is unladylike I'm living with my family it's me a 15 year old girl my twin brothers who were 17 and my parents my dad causes a lot and so did my older brothers but apparently the standards are different for me my dad overheard me seeing a couple of cuss words when I was on the phone with my friends and he got mad at me for my language and for how trashy and unladylike it was this wasn't the first time he called me and only me out for bad language but it was the one that frustrated me the most because I could tell there was a double standard I thought of calling him out on his language and hypocrisy but then I had a different idea I said that yeah it was a bad habit I was forming and didn't want to make a pattern because if I got in the habit of cussing a lots that wouldn't make me come off well when I start getting jobs are going to college and as I was growing up I wanted to learn how to speak respectfully and intelligently but it was hard to keep from bad habits when I heard him and my brothers having potty mouth syndrome so often they are setting a bad example whether they realize it or not so I wanted to work on things for myself but also together as a family I suggested we make a swear tax where if anyone swears in front of anyone else who's participating they give a dollar to each person who heard them I'd want that rule for myself because it would keep me accountable and I'd really like it if my family joined me for it sir my dad said he'd join and so with my mum they got my brothers to be a part of it too they didn't really have a choice my parents decided to make it a role I know it's kind of petty but I wanted to make the point that my dad and brothers swear a lots and I almost never do in a few months we've had the role I've gotten about 250 dollars from hearing my dad and brothers cos and if not sworn once it's kind of making my brother's angry because they often cuss when they're mad and I asked them for money so they get madder and costs more so I get more money until they shut up my dad actually got mad at me too he was having some drinks calling his brother and talking I came over after and asked for $18.00 he actually said he wouldn't give me that much in that there should be a cut-off he gave me five dollars which sends a weird message like swearing is bad unless you want to swear a lot than it's cool I feel I've made my point already so really now I'm just continuing to want the family to learn not to cuss for the money and it's really making my brothers mad am either a hole for the having the idea of the family's where tax after my dad got angry at me for swearing I did it because I know I swear the least out of my family but I was the only one getting in trouble for it gonna say that you're not the a-hole that is a disgusting double standard to have in the family and while I understand they want the best for you the way they're going about it is not the best and I suggest you either double down on this or just leave it and continue on with your own life it's really up to whatever you want to do with your life Opie not the a-hole they agreed to it they have to play by the rules amazing how Opie made them literally pay for the hypocrisy and sexist view on her swearing it's a good lesson too bad they apparently aren't learning it hopefully the brothers will they have more of a chance of learning than the dad because they're still kids but I doubt the brothers gave a crap about her swearing in the first place they're not the a-hole that was actually a genius way to handle the situation I would have been Petty and angry and witches swam more especially after the unladylike comments I just reply to every swear word they say with one of my own if no one is swearing make him up use weird old TV swear words like Smeg I despise the double standard for this so tell them off however you like not the a-hole posted by user am i the a-hole thrown away titled am I the a-hole for kicking out my daughter after she tried to send my cat to the shelter the relevant backstory I have two daughters one is 21 and in college the other is 26 and because of a lot of factors finds herself pregnant divorcing her husband and needing to live in our house for the foreseeable future and I am happily married to their mother the other notable character is my cat lieutenants we call a loop I found Lutz in a dumpster almost 10 years ago when she was only a week old got her to the vents and she's been my best buddy for the last decade she's now my grumpy old little shadow whenever I'm home so yesterday I came home from work and I hear my eldest daughter calling me from the kitchen my wife and eldest then tell me that Lutz is getting off dead and with the baby coming we didn't think it was safe to keep an old grouchy cat around an infant so we made the decision today to send loot to a shelter so that she can find a family that is more in line with what she needs I told them both they were way out of line not in so many words and we would talk when we get back I Drive to the closest shelter find Lutz prove ownership pay the $100 fee to get her back and take her home so here's the drama pods when I get home I call a family meeting and tell my eldest she doesn't get to make decisions about my pets without consulting me Lutz only wants to be left to learn and even if it came to it I would rather exhaust all my options before putting loot through life at a shelter my eldest began arguing with me that loot would be a liability around an infant and she's unpredictable untrue she's either asleep sitting on a cat tree or eating at that point I saw rent and told her that my cat is well-trained and dared her to come up with one instance of loot even scratching someone which she couldn't but kept insisting that old cats are inherently dangerous for kids I then told her that she had one month to get a new place to live as she clearly doesn't respect me or my things and that if Lutz so much as lost a whisker I would hold her personally responsible my wife and younger daughter are now begging me to change my mind as with my eldest scre n't financial condition I would probably do condemning her to homelessness and that my daughter should come before a cats and my the a hole for kicking my daughter out after she tried to get rid of my cats aided to add as many people have brought up no I'm not being as hard as on my wife as my daughter my wife came up to me last night and basically begged for forgiveness saying she wasn't thinking and just accepted the things my daughter was saying without checking which is very out of character for her so I told her I will need some space for the foreseeable future but that she and I are okay loot is already microchipped and wears a collar and tank I've also contacted all the shelters around my area and sent them Lutz picture chip ID and my contact information and an explanation that I'm worried someone may surrender my cat without my permission no oh P you'll know at the a-hole for being this cautious and for kicking her out of the house if you had one of your parents still living with you that's an old decrepit person would they say all people are inherently dangerous to babies therefore we need to send them to the old folks home to be condemned for the rest of their life no this cat has a good track record its entire life it's had nothing wrong with it what makes her think that just because the cat gets old it's gonna start attacking everyone stupid mindsets she can deal with the consequences of her actions I don't care get her out of the house teach her a lesson let her deal with her consequences of her actions not the a-hole her entitlement astounds me she's a complete a hole for thinking she can remove a member of your family without consulting you as far as I'm concerned she did this to herself 100% pets of family and it's heartbreaking to see pets surrendered in situations like these my fiance have a total of three cats and we would never think to get rid of them when we have a kid not only that but for her to come into their home and to make that unilateral decision entitlement indeed at its opie you're not the a-hole also I suppose it might be different if you've got an animal known for aggressive behavior but that's still something that would require a conversation it would in no way give someone family or not the right to remove that animal from your home especially after you've graciously provided them lodging while I get pregnancy hormones are a thing and our situation is probably incredibly stressful that in no way gives her a pass to do something so crappy this pets are exactly family herpes daughter is indeed entitled and 100% in a whole honestly between this pregnant daughter and the other post where the pregnant sister wants her brother to get rid of his dog these are narcissistic women who like empathy and compassion and therefore have no business with having children anyway oh absolutely I can see being worried by the cat will steal the baby's breath nonsense from the Middle Ages when your hormones are playing ping-pong with your brain but anyone with an ounce of critical thinking skills is going to be able to refute it in their sleep absolutely not the a-hole Opie I'm glad you were able to find Lutz poor Kitty must have been terrified not the a-hole making that kind of decision about your cat smacks of entitlements and in regards to this section first I do not agree this condemned so to homelessness she might just have to get a job and room with someone else who has cats or sleep on a friend's couch for a while she also might learn that the world does not owe her a living not to mention that putting an elderly cat in a shelter means that there's a high likelihood of that elderly cat living at the rest of its days in the shelter and those days being quite few due to being euthanized exactly it's just a horribly cruel thing to do to an animal not to a hole and honestly your wife is a huge a-hole as well I would be just as mad at her as the daughter she knows she's on thin ice she's already apologized and admitted she assumed my eldest was telling her objective facts and never thought to verify her claims I've asked her to give me space for a few days and she is obliged yonks does your wife normally exhibit a total lack of common sense or is this new behavior this is really out of character for her she has no idea what came over her and neither do I posted by user I can't even read that name titled am I the a-hole for telling my boyfriend's mother she raised a fudging sociopath who needs to be in a facility sir I female 26 have a boyfriend male 24 and recently he got into a dispute with the neighbors kids they accidentally kicked their football into our yard and they came into the garden to get it back she be honest I didn't care but my boyfriend started screaming at these like 11-year olds about how they poorly raised and their parents should be ashamed I was fudging mortified I sent the kids some chocolates and sweets and apologized profusely for his behavior I was seeing red flags and told him this behavior was not normal he kind of brushed me off and I told him if he pulled anything like that again he was gone the next week the ball came into our garden and I was about to throw it back to the kids when my boyfriend storms outside and took the ball inside I told the kids that I would bring it back in two minutes and he went into the bathroom and emerged like 10 minutes later wearing gloves and a football covered in crap his own crap what the hell I asked him if he was out of his fudging mind but he stormed past me and threw it over the fence screaming take that hippies ice creams and girl I mean screamed at him about he was a fudging douche and I wanted him out of my house and he's a disgusting fudging monster and that they were just kids I screamed and screamed and eventually he left I deleted all of his games off his ps4 and gave it to the kids as an apology I was so embarrassed my ex-boyfriends mom messaged me asking what happened and I responded with what happened what happened you are a pathetic excuse of a woman who raised a fudging sociopath who covered a football in his own crap and threw it at some kids and he needs to be in a facility because something is wrong with him and God knows how I hadn't seen any red flags about the fudging monster you raised during the seven months we dated I know I am in the right for what I did to my boyfriend but am I in the wrong for snapping at the mother for something she had no direct involvement in initially I thought this was like some entitled parents level stuff I was like hmm am I just gonna remove this story it sounds a bit too iffy to exist but then I read some comments down below it's actually fairly common that people Kurt things in feces when they're having mental snaps so that's probably unfortunately what's going on here I think he just had a psychotic episode of some sorts and man really does need some help I'm gonna say in regards to the conversation with her and the mother she's the a-hole here for just directly going off at the mother she didn't even talk to her like a normal person she let her emotions fly and she just attacked a poor woman who really did not have a hand in this the mom did not cause the boyfriend to do this I don't see a logical explanation for that I know the boyfriend is an a-hole for doing it but we this is all we know it from the ex-boyfriends mother we all we know is this text conversation she's not giving us anything else to work with so therefore o P is the a-hole you're the a-hole for blaming and grown adults mother for his behavior why is his mum messaging his ex-girlfriend's the mum might have been the one to manage his emotions before her so when he was kicked out it was right back to mum still if she didn't teach him to be self sufficient then at least part of the blame is on the mother well in fairness to the mother it's not uncommon for there to be no issues or symptoms of mental illness until late teens / early 20s it's possible this was the boyfriends first mental episode true hope he didn't realize he had major issues until the football episode and she's been living with him - seven months we dated this is why you don't move in with all that somebody move in with you after only a few months of dating kids it's entirely possible that this is not a mental episode or illness at all the guy could just be an a-hole and over-the-top dramatic a-hole but an a-hole nonetheless the dude smeared his crap all over a ball and threw it at some kids this is almost certainly a mental episode hey men maybe he was just slightly upset you're the a-hole for sending the messages cuz I'm sure she would have maybe understood how angry you were if he came across nicer but well I can't even imagine being in your position has he done anything like this before and it's I did not mean that Opie is the a hall for the entire situation it's a very soft you're the a-hole sorry for any confusion and Opie says no I always thought he was Karma it came completely out of the blue posted by user Kovach Dedic titled am I the a-hole for walking out on a double date my friend set up with him his girlfriend and a girl I had already rejected before I feel like I need to say this for this post not to be removed this is not about the dates about relationships or something I wanted judgment on me walking out of there CARSTAR me 25 male char 26 male and Jane 24 female to give you a little background to this situation I met Jane through Joe's girlfriend at a birthday party last year at first Jane was fun to talk to but not even an hour later Jane was really into me and tried really badly to hit on me during the party which pretty much ruined my time there as the feeling was not mutual in the slightest bits also at the time I was already with someone so the first impression I got from Jane was that she was clingy annoying and just wouldn't stop bothering me unfortunately for me she became part of my larger friend group because she's part of Joe's girlfriend's friend group that is a mouthful sheesh and because me and Joe hang out a lot and I'm also friends with his girlfriend I pretty much run into her at minimum twice a month so first time Jane asked me out was a month after that party I informed her I was with someone and not interested she tried again two months later when I broke up with my then girlfriend again I declined her advances and told her I'm not interested I got into a new relationship not long after but unfortunately she and I broke up about two months ago since then as you might have anticipated Jane has asked me out again and I said no again well that brings us to this week everything has been opening up here and Joe had been trying to fix me up with a friend of his girlfriend and he would not tell me who he is well aware of me having rejected chain multiple times and the fact I'm not interested in her he knows this in detail after a lot of what he calls convincing and I call whining I had no interest in dating anytime soon I relented and decided to agree to this double-date idea appears we agree on meeting at Joe's apartment and lo and behold Joe his girlfriend and Jane are occupying the dinner table obviously intending for my to be Jain I honestly just got so goddamn angry that I couldn't even get a single word out turned around and left I have been bombarded with texts and calls about how much of a douche I am and how terribly I hurt Jane and so on and I'm just like I literally rejected her like three times I'm not interested in her you knew that your girlfriends knew that our entire friend group has a running joke about obsessive Jane ffs so literally everyone knows it so am I the a-hole I would say no he's not the a-hole imagine if the like roles were switched in this one it's like a creepy guy that you're like whoa he's like continually hitting on me he's continually trying to set up a date with me he won't take no for an answer and most people in the same situation if it was a guy that the girl had turned down ever be like why are you forcing her into that situation she's obviously said no and no means no get the hint buddy so I don't see why this friend group thinks it's okay for them to put their girlfriend on him continuously doesn't make any sense to me I hope he is not the a-hole I completely support your reaction to this not the a-hole but your friend obviously is setting someone up with someone who rejected that person is cruel not the fact that you turned around I would honestly have done the same Jane is just as much an a-hole as the rest she knew what was up agree Jane isn't some innocent bystander here she's been rejected a half-dozen times at this points but can't take no for an answer it's beyond harassment at this points can you imagine if Jane was a dude and dope he was a girl like the level of creep edits I didn't mean to imply anything sexist I just meant that the level of creepy would be way more obvious if the genders were reversed and everyone would immediately know that it's wrong so an Opie situation it should also be obvious that Jane is being very creepy despite the fact that the genders are reversed from the usual situations sorry for any misunderstanding caused would be much more obvious to some yes either gender doing this is creepy as hell this being supported by Opie's should be now ex-friend is also all full not the a hollow P not the a-hole you've made your feelings more than clear to Jane and your friends as well you had every right to leave as you'd already rejected her three times and still she set herself up for ejection number four you're not responsible for her hurt feelings at this points your friend should have known better than to blindside you with a date with someone he knows full well you have zero interest in though if I might venture a guess I'd say that the double date was 100% Jane's and your friends girlfriends idea and your friend most likely just got pressured into convincing you to come even so he's one of my best friends he shouldn't be screwing me over like that even if it was 100% their idea I still blame Jerry most I agree with you 100% regardless if he got pressured into it or nots as your friend he should absolutely have let you know what the girls were planning so that you could have avoided the whole situation you have every right to be upset not the a-hole everyone else is the a hole in the situation if the roles were reversed and you were a woman and Jane was a man I'm sure no one would be giving you a hard time right now agreed not the a-hole this behavior is creepy and obsessive regardless of sex posted by user what about t titles am I the a-hole for ruining my brother-in-law's day with a purposeful farts brethren Lauren's husband Kurt earned a house that was passed to them by their father we live in one half while brother-in-law lives in the other the only thing we share is the living room and kitchen the rest is completely separates lately brother-in-law has been making odd comments about my lady likeness I am a down-home backwoods dirt under my fingernails still play in the mud puddles basically woodrat a woman he's been cutting into hard labor chores I do and tells me he'll do it so I don't hurt myself or get dirty he'll make positive comments when he sees me cleaning lucky men and says things like I've never seen you cook you should cook more notes he does not cook either I like to look nice here and there whenever I do dress up and do makeup brother-in-law makes comments of how I should do it more often and it looks super nice he said what dressing up for a husband all of these I shut down with I'd do it when I feel like it I'm doing it for me etc he is not a bad dude overall he's actually a riot to hang out with but it's little subtle things that spread out and it digs at me as roommates do luckily we're moving soon anyways yesterday i belched in the kitchen because i thought no one was around brother-in-law pops his head in and jokes have you ever thought about being more ladylike ha ha ha now the tone is joking but the word ladylike is like my emotional tailgating car tailgating only makes the person in front slow down telling me to be ladylike makes me turn that crap way down I have mad props too graceful and more traditional ladies if they like it but I am NOT one I say nope and he replies you should consider it and leaves the room so this morning I'm walking by the living room brethren Laura's watching The Morning News and I decide to grace the room with a big long fart this is the just woke up and crap is moving farts it's the fight that has been building all nights it is loud it has vibration and even in the timey room it echos I'd honestly give it a good night at a 10 it was a damn masterpiece I thought it was hilarious immediately brother and Lord not so much he proceeds to jump up and rage about how gross it was bloody hell I've heard him blow out fights before and how women shouldn't do that unfortunately by this time I am doubled over in tears because I can't stop remembering the fights and his rage has made it even funnier he gets beyond mad and storms off to his bedroom it's now 9:00 p.m. and he is still enraged in tiding in his room he says it was an a-hole move which is technically the truth and at first thought it was funny too but now since its upset his bro so bad he's at leaning towards maybe it was too much and too immature and that I should have just told him that he was being overbearing I feel like as a 37 year old man brother-in-law should have known better than to think he can tell a grown woman how to behave it probably would have been better to talk about it spin hoop outs all day over a farts so am I the a-hole for solving problems with Annie Hall edits just woke up to this coming through comments and loving it brother-in-law came to me when I went to go make coffee and said I made him feel uncomfortable in his own house I told him it's my house too and I've seen him do the same unashamedly he made a couple but I'm a man comments and I called it out as sexist he asked me how it was and I said how it was nots after a few back-and-forth he started to understand that he is not my husband this is my house too and I do not and will not ever meet his southern standard for a woman he wraps it up with I guess it was kind of funny and stalks off I left a coffee peace offering in the living room where he is enjoying Saturday morning programming without a violent crop burst we're all going to make dinner tonight and have a family make up with hopefully no dinner table farts I have some standards people all in all pretty damn good end results and they bet I will never hear be ladylike from him again still reading every comments what a way to wake up you are all a riot I'd say rupees not the a-hole you know it kind of turned out that way in the end I think we're going further and further into the future at this point and we don't have the same standards for women like we did back in the day which is understandable you know equality for all let's not put them in a box and be like well you can only be this idea that I have a view no that's an archaic mindset and I don't understand it or back it at all I understand that we have boundaries but people can be who they want to be let a woman fight for goodness sake not the a-hole but you have to be careful with fragile men's egos it must have heard him being so upstaged like that by the way if I had any coins I'd give you gold for just the description alone I may or may not have laughed a lot while typing it outs your description had me so cackling as I read it out loud long I just read it to my husband and we did the same my daughter and I include fighting as part of the fight against the patriarchy from God not the a-hole sounds like he's sexist and is projecting his views and assumptions of how a woman should be on you you keep doing you sounds like it was a good fight and brother-in-law should learn to lighten up they make a children's book called everyone farts he should read it I misread lighten up as lighted up and was immediately concerned about lighting anything with that much gas in the room also not the a-hole posted by user am I the a-hole one time titled am i the a hole for not specifying my medical condition to my significant other I female 31 met my boyfriend n male 33 about a year ago few years ago I developed a medical condition which was treated by a hysterectomy a removal of the uterus this of course caused me to be completely unable to have my own children few weeks after I met n I told him that I'm infertile knowing that at our age this is important information and maybe a deal breaker he reacted pretty sweet he told me that it's okay and he doesn't think of me less because of that I asked him if he didn't mind never having children with me and he said he'll deal with that when the time comes I think that was the moment when I should have corrected him or say anything because there is nothing to deal with but I thought to myself that maybe he meant adoption or something the next time when I think I should have said something was a few months later when his friend informed us that he and his fiancee are expecting a child they had some difficulties and apparently it took them several years to succeed and said that night you see the doctor told them they couldn't have children too and look here they are miracle babies happen all the time I just said something like good for them and changed the topic two weeks ago he moved in with me as we unpacked his stuff he said okay now can we start looking for some therapies for you I managed to save some money we can deal with that now I asked him what the hell is he planning to deal with he said with my alleged infertility I asked him again what the hell does he mean allege did he said you know like my friends they were also supposed to be infertile and now they have a newborn at home I replied to him saying that I'm happy for them but every case is different and in my case it's completely not possible because I don't have any uterus he was furious started to yell that I should have told him that in the first place and that I misled him from my point of view I told him enough and he is an adult's so he made a conscious decision to stay with me we fight about it ever since so am I the a-hole for not telling him exactly what condition makes me sterile edits I think I should clear that up English is not our language in our language there are no separate words for infertile and sterile there is only one word for both things I'm going to say you know it's a leaning honor you're the a-hole but it's not I don't think she can be blamed she told him straight up I can't have kids he misinterpreted it and he didn't ask specifics she also didn't offer specifics so it's a very gray muddy water type area but she did say from the get-go it's not gonna happen it's never gonna happen and he still chose to go into the relationship with that regardless it's the burden is on him now in my opinion I don't think Opie is the a whole not the a-hole at all he didn't ask for details beyond what you told him it is his own fault for thinking all infertility was the same also his fault for assuming up he would want kids if she could have them I'm sorry Opie not the a-hole yeah he just decided they're going to deal with it and that's it now talk about him wanting children changing his mind or whatever he saved money up for it and is going to deal with it what the hell on top of all going out of his way to find treatments without even asking her and they have a year of relationship not the a-hole but please have a serious conversation with your boyfriend Opie yeah from a normal person's perspective the phrase we'll deal with that later in this context is 100% more indicative of the mindset of well we're not going to get married or try for children together right away so if it isn't an immediate issue if our relationship progresses to a certain points or seems to be getting serious then maybe we can revisit the conversation not your being infertile would in fact theoretically be a deal-breaker for me but I think that I instinctively know more about your condition and/or body than you do so we'll definitely be able to fix you with the appropriate medical treatments and therapies my brain is scrambled eggs after eating that's don't forget that miracle baby was his plan you know he was thinking that from the moment she told him such an a-hole and he doesn't even get done unpacking before he's already deciding on her medical treatments for her without bothering to talk to her about it first he has been saving up without talking to her about if she wants to do the treatments he is an a-hole not the a-hole Opie he should probably move out yeah fertility treatments aren't Pleasant at the best of times you don't just assume that someone will go through a physically and mentally difficult process because you want them to a hole it's a sickening attitude like he thinks of her as some kind of animal he decides to breed yeah that's when I was getting to you in all honesty am I the a hole for ghosting my whole family after they attempted to force me into an arranged marriage some backgrounds I come from India but I'm attending a college in the UK after accepting a scholarship so this started seven months ago so I taught my family that after I finished college I'm going to stay in the UK I half-heartedly thought they were going to be supportive but knowing my culture I knew that they were most likely going to be absolutely ticked and I was right they were ticked as hell apparently I need to marry our rich neighbor's son who was extremely average looking and also extremely traditional and they had already arranged marriage and I was extremely shocked they expected me to still be immersed and obedient to our culture when I'm attending college in a different country for four years I told them that our culture was pure bullcrap and I'm not going back to India a month later I get a call and the call was from our neighbor they told me that my actions are sinful and an insult to God and anime and even worse the son joined and called me a [ __ ] I told them that I will never accept the arranged marriage and to screw off after that I cut all contact with all my friends and family in India so Redditt am I the a-hole update I'm screwed they're going to sue me and since I can't afford a lawyer since I work at retail any advice um I don't know if you could be sued for that I don't know you didn't sound like a contract or anything from a young age and even then I don't think you know it's a legally binding to sign a contract i'ma go with Opie is not the a-hole continue to run and escape from these people and cut them off maybe if anything does come your way get some pro bono advice from a lawyer but apart from that I don't know I just know that Opie isn't the a-hole here not the a-hole if you need advice if things seemed they might escalate or if you have any concerns please call common ivana they're a UK charity for exactly this sort of thing Thanks I guess if things somehow go bad I'll give them a call it might be worth speaking to them anyway they might be able to offer you advice we'll put you in contact with others who have been in your situation before I hope you settle well here in the UK and have a good support group maybe she'll meet a nice boy through them also running from an arranged marriage now that would be some hard Karma for both families I just mess with them at this point well dad I don't think my boyfriend or girlfriend would appreciate if I got married an indie what's that oh yes I'm in what we called in the West a poly relationship law which is boyfriend/girlfriend or very Bratz sub at what point does it start becoming polyamory and starts becoming Pokemon collecting that is a very good question very good question the UK actually has a forced marriage units it may be wise talking to them you may be able to acquire a forced marriage protection order damn nice I didn't know there was a thing as an aside don't ever visit them in India and if you do make sure you have a 110 percent solid way of getting back that doesn't just mean having a return plane tickets that's having someone ready to call the police and camp out in the UK embassy until they demand your return not even in a year when things die down and you finish your education India and the UK are not the greatest in actually considering you kidnapped if they keep you there as an adults not the a-hole of course not why would you even think that you were arranged marriages like this out of bull crap in this day and age it's not my culture but they're not other bull crap to the people who choose to be in arranged marriages I have known people who willingly went into arranged marriages and were happy it's their culture and what they wanted to do being forced into one is definitely bullcrap they're not the a-hole there is a huge difference between agreeing to meet and date a person their parents choose and making the decision if you want to pursue marriage and being told you have to marry someone arranged marriages are not the same as forced marriages alas that's what most of them here are I mean most parents wouldn't accept love marriages so it's kind of forced anyway for those of you who don't know in India non arranged marriages are called love marriages and widely frowned upon and it's not widely frowned upon in most places anymore I kind of thought my family and friends were the norm everywhere really sorry I didn't mean to offend anyone although they have significantly become less frowned upon because most new age parents either did love marriages or were forced into marrying someone else and to realize they wouldn't do the same for their children posted by user avocados on toasted bun titled z' am I the a-hole for not telling my daughter to apologize to a boy she swore at at school my daughter has been subtly bullied by a boy at school since the start of the year he has told her things like gay people aren't real people and gets in the way of her lager each day today during an altercation between this boy and another student's my daughter called the boy a homophobic a halt while she regrets the words she doesn't regret the sentiments and standing up for herself the boy's parents complained and want an apology the school want both the students to come to an understanding am I the a-hole if I tell my daughter she doesn't need to apologize but instead phrase things differently while still standing up for herself edits we're in Australia so schools are open I reported the bullying to the school back in March and they say they would keep an eye on it edit - the kids are 13 I guess in some ways this makes me in authority on the subject going through the school system in Australia and seeing these kinds of things flare up on the playgrounds homophobia is still very very much alive in the Australian school system and so is domestic abuse and domestic violence in a lot of households across Australia so a lot of that trauma kind of leaks down into the kids and they find avenues to release that tension in school and a lot of the time it comes to picking on minorities and minority groups like homosexual students obviously it's not the main cause I would say it's a huge contributor we had heaps of kids and counselling at my school I'm of the opinion that we call it out regardless and we stopped the kids from acting that way and they find different avenues that are healthier to vent their frustration and the anger and their worldview I say RP is not the a-hole for this situation absolutely not I'm lately okay I would if it was her I'd say do something else go harder you need to stop these kids from being this disgusting in school I'm not one to defend people with disgusting worldviews I think that Opie is not the a-hole and I think more needs to be done to combat it's not the a-hole that is not subtle bullying it's just standard bullying the understanding that your daughter and this boy should come to is that his behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated by the school your daughter should never have been put into a position where she was provoked to tell someone he's a homophobic a-hole guess I was being generous by saying subtle thanks for pointing that out my apologies because I read the title wrong and was ready to call you names good for you for standing up for your daughter tell the school that you want the bullying to stop and the bully punished not asking for any apologies but immediate action being taken if that's possible of course if your daughter feels comfortable she might want to apologize for her language but not for the message may be saying that he's a homophobic excuse of a person now you got to do harder than that if you want to get through to these kids agree it's an important distinction to apologize only for the language and not for standing up to a bully it makes her come off all the better to to admit that there was no excuse for her use of the language she is proud to have stood up against the bullying and has no plans to accept it in the future either fine I apologize for calling you a homophobic a whole instead of a homophobic bully may I be excused now I agree with this using a hole is the only thing the daughter did wrong I think that's debatable sometimes it's okay to call a spade a spade not the a-hole especially not if you're telling her to phrase things differently while standing up for herself the boy has been calling her name's bullying her and making homophobic remarks make sure the school and his parents are aware of this good point thank you the teacher I spoke to definitely didn't have the whole story to begin with to be frank I was your daughter at one point a guy was being an a-hole about something or other and I called him an ass and I got detention and he got nothing life sucks and at least my mother was very aware that the teachers and administrators don't care about anything and she was big on my brother and I not backing down because we'd get into the same amount of trouble if we threw a punch or just got beaten by the aggressor this is one of those moments where yeah the school only cared when your daughter said something but I wonder what they'd say if you came in about their son harassing or stalking your daughter if the terms restraining order got dropped by you with the school suddenly care about the son cornering your daughter to harass her not the a-hole I'm sure they only noticed because the bully went to complain about the swear knowing it would get her in trouble and now he has another bit of power to hold against her he will know that if he can provoke her to the point of snapping the school will side with him because swearing is bad don't let him get that power a hole is not the damaging word here gay people are not real people that is the real swear those words do much more damage schools with zero-tolerance policies of bullcrap get it right it's zero tolerance for bullying which means they have no tolerance for it existing at all so it can't exist because they don't have a tolerance for it thus when someone acts out it's always the other person acting out much like how murder didn't exist in the USSR under Stalin not the a-hole I absolutely wouldn't expect her to apologize at all make it very clear to the school that you will not ask your daughter to apologize for being the victim of targeted bullying while in their care that's a good point thank you also what kind of bully calls someone names since March and as soon as the target stand up for themselves with a white as light as a hole for that matter runs home crying to mommy to tell on them I think your daughter has a free pass to call him an utter wimp - not the a-hole posted by user routine sprinkles 128 titled am i the a-hole for not leaving my parking spots because someone honked at me hello so on my 19 mail trip to the grocery store I ended up scoring a non handicapped parking spots right by the front of the store it's super hot here so I decided to grab an ice cream bar I was unwrapping it in my fully intending on driving off once opened so I could eat and drive when some old jerk-off starts honking at me and wildly gesturing at me to get out of the sports now if I had been eating a meal or something I would have understood their frustration but I had been in the car maybe thirty seconds he rolled down his window and started yelling at me at which point I turned off my car and settled in to eat my ice cream it caused a pretty big scene as he ended up getting out of his truck leaving it in the parking lots not parked long and yelling at me calling me names swearing all of it after I finished my ice cream maybe five minutes later I waited for him to do a loop looking for another spots and promptly reversed allowing someone else to take the spots I felt pretty justified with that reaction but when I told my mum she was disappointed saying that I caused an entire commotion for no reason am I the a-hole I'm gonna say no this is like malicious compliance you know what you're gonna be a dick I'm just gonna chill in my car and have my ice cream and you can have your little temper tantrum if you'd like Obie you were not the a hole not that a hole they've done studies about what happens when people honk at other people in occupied parking spots they discovered what we already knew honking means I'm going to stay there even longer and there's a link to the study you can just kind of look it up if you want I'm sorry love when the studies prove that being petty is the norm human nature law not the a-hole I'm queen of its my spots until I'm not in it I used to drive an old truck and when people idle behind me to steal it they rarely left enough room to let me gracefully get out sir I would wave them by and the idea of you taking a few minutes to get yourself settled as like everyone does fiddling with keys music etc before he lost it nah he can shove it so much this not the a-hole it was Christmas season and our truck was in an angled spot by a t-intersection in a parking lots as we were walking up to our truck I unlocked it with the fob and a lady in the car stopped waited for us to let our bags into it climb into the front seat and start the truck she had everyone behind her and to her left blocked as they couldn't get around on the one-way lane she also had a nose about two feet from the edge of our bumper in an angled parking lots so we couldn't back up feeling generous because it's Christmas season we got out and told her that she needs to back up so we can get out she had a car length behind her she backed up about three feet and then we just sat there that may have been enough room if we were in a mid-sized car but a lifted quad cab truck there was still not enough room my husband backed up and kept creeping back as we watched her eyes get wider and wider knowing we came inches from her bumper as there was still not enough room he pulled back into the parking lots turned off the truck we hopped out and started walking away it makes me glad for Christmas shopping Parker's who are nice enough to ask if you're off before assuming that they can have the spots I always get some private assholey and joy out of walking out of my car with my hands full of shopping bags while people creep along behind me to my spots only to then put the bags in the car and to walk back into the mall I'm fine with people patiently waiting on me if it's a busy day I don't even mind them creeping a bit as long as they're not being pushy about it but if they're jerks about it I'll take my sweet time I inadvertently pulled one on a creeper one time I walked down the aisle with my stuff and then realized I was on the wrong aisle I hooked it right and headed to my car and they didn't have a chance of getting the spots felt kind of bad except they were playing their music super fudging loud so I didn't feel that bad posted by user am I the a-hole throw away our o21 titles am i the a haul for logging into my friend's email accounts and declining her universities offer of admission please do not judge only after you have read everything I promise you that there is much more to it than what the title says throw away because my friend knows my main Reddit accounts also English is not my first language so apologies for any grammar or spelling mistakes I will refer to the country we initially planned to go as three X and the country my friend might be going to as country why I might also consider editing this post later on to hide other personal information to make it less obvious it's me in case people I know see this post hope that's fine ever since I was a child I always dreamed of studying abroad we all know the benefits of studying abroad and I'm sure if I don't profit from this now I will forever regret it later on luckily for me my parents are financially stable and can afford sending me abroad in order to gain an invaluable experience however there is one catch that is I must go with a friend of mine as they won't send me there alone I thought this wasn't a problem since I've been planning to go with my friends to country X this month things changed my friend and I applied to two universities in different countries one of them doesn't have a capita on the number of students it can accept but the other one does my friend got accepted to both of them but I only did two one both of them a good universities and objectively one is not better than the other but their education system does differ when my friend got accepted to the University in country Y she told me that there is a possibility she will go there instead as she has relatives there that will allow her to stay in their house without her having to pay rent I was heartbroken by the news how could she do this to me she knows how much I want to study abroad and is well aware of the fact that my parents will not let me go alone I told my parents about this and they assured me that if there is no other person I can go with then I will be studying here instead I could not let this happen although she didn't say she is going to do it for sure yet I need a definite answer or else I'll keep being stressed about it my friend once told me her password on a game we play and I tried to see if she has the same password for her email and it turns out she does so I logged in and rejected her admission offer and logged out my friend still doesn't know this but she will soon I told my parents about it to assure me that my friend will now be going with me but they got so upset on me and are now threatening me that they're going to call my friend's parents and tell them what I did I begged them not to but they're not listening they want to do it in case she can still email the University in the end I told them to let me tell her instead and they agreed to it although I don't think I will now that you guys know why I did this do you still think I'm the a-hole here what's my fault for being forced to go with the friends I think it's pretty evidence where we stand on this one it's a pretty cut and clear you're the a-hole case there's no real redeeming yourself for that one that's kind of a disgusting move I don't have much else to say because I just I condemn that I don't I don't support that at all you're the a-hole a selfish a-hole you made a choice for someone else because you didn't have a back-up plan and you're an a-hole don't make life choices for someone else I read the post thinking that there must have been something the opie was going to write that was going to possibly justify it no rights don't judge based off the title read the whole post and then the whole post is bad I've been surprised before and said not that a hole in a post that started like this but this post man the utter and complete lack of self-awareness by the European has not bode well for her future I really hope her parents informed the friends parents and friend so they can reach out to the Uni this is so screwed literally destroying the potential for her future because she wants to study abroad disgusting Oh P you're the a-hole you're the a-hole you took away your friends opportunity and the fact that you don't seem to have any remorse about screwing over your friend is appalling I truly hope your friend finds out and refuses to go with you because you absolutely don't deserve it seeing as Opie's parents know odds are the friend will find out RP you've just lost any chance you had of going abroad because after this whichever unit chooses there was no way your ex friend is going with you why the hell would the parents trust them in another country when they can't trust them in their own house I hope the parents tell the friend and make Opie go to a community college they have no idea how to behave like an adult you to a halt massively and unequivocally an a-hole posted by user twinkle fluff titles am I the a-hole for seeing Ike's when a friend asked me out yikes I've been friends with this guy named John for around two to three years we're fairly close and John has always tried to let on hints that he might be interested in me despite that John knows that I'm in a longtime relationship with my boyfriend of around four years who will call see now see trusts me and despite knowing that John might be interested he lets me handle it by myself I've tried to make it painfully obvious to John who knows I'm in a relationship I might say things like wow you're a great friend to me when asked if I'm interested in front of him I would say no he's like a brother to me now John and I were two friends house still social distancing of course and we're helping set up her TV the others were in the living room while John dragged me aside and to quite what he said twinkle fluff I've really liked you for some time now do you mind maybe giving me a shot I was really surprised and the only thing I could think to say was yikes and dashed out of there it was awkward the rest of the time and he never said a word after that when coming home and telling my boyfriend he was ticked that John tried to initiate something but is glad that I shut it down so quickly now some of my friends are calling me telling me that that was incredibly rude especially since I knew that he liked me for a long time we're in the same friend group so it's not like I can just avoid John I've attempted to unsuccessfully I've tried to apologize but he weren't here it's am I the a-hole all names are fake by the way John listen up buddy take a hint if it really had to go to this point you'll you've got a screwed moral compass John I'm sorry you're the a-hole here unequivocally this is not Opie's fault at all and I don't understand why the friend group is backing John up oh yeah I'm just gonna corner my friend in his friends group she's been dating this guy for four years but I'm gonna shoot my shot anyway because that's a nice thing to do she hasn't been reciprocating any of my attempts to be intimate but hey I'm gonna shoot my shot anyway expect to be put down take the El life doesn't care man life isn't fair stop crying to your friend group you're the a-hole Opie is not the a hole not the a hole it was a surprise reaction also it is definitely yikes to invite someone out who was in a committed relationship right he certainly didn't take your boyfriend's feelings into consideration there should be no consideration on your part in return not the a-hole what you're an a-hole for immediately shutting down someone who was trying to get you to cheat on slash drop your boyfriend's it's not really your responsibility to spare his feelings when he couldn't even accept the multiple signs you tried to give him that you weren't interested massive yikes to John and everyone who sided with him in my opinion he deserved a lot worse than he likes for thinking he could initiate something with someone who's very clearly taken not the a-hole yeah I would have ripped him a new one we wouldn't be friends anymore either since he obviously had no respect for me this I honestly didn't think he's an actually friend friends but tagging along in hopes of getting his shots I mean all the signs point to its posted by user neon Knights one titled am I the a-hole for letting our house become disgusting sir my boyfriend's 25 male and myself 22 female have been living together for about a year dating for four years we have a little three-bedroom house with our two daughters and both work full-time I actually work more hours than he does and my job is more physically demanding than his I love my job my issue is he never helps me with homework ever I have to beg him to help me he won't even take the trash out unless I literally nag him I often come home later than him and the dishes haven't been done or put away the dogs haven't been fed or their area cleaned up his hair is all over the sink from shaving etc he makes a coffee and leaves the mug in his office for three days and till I go in there and get it he puts his dirty laundry next to the bed instead of the washer or the hamper he never contributes to the laundry sir I do that I also cook and he doesn't even bother to offer to help clean up afterward and he doesn't help with anything unless fully Bank him and at that point he complains and says I'm annoying and high-maintenance my final straw was two days ago when he took a massive crap and didn't scrub the toilet after it was disgusting he didn't see the problem so I told him if he wasn't going to help me with housework and to make things more equal then I was going to stop completely he didn't see the issue two and a half days later the house is so yuck it smells the dishes have been piling up this whole time I haven't done his laundry so he had no clean clothes for work I didn't vacuum or clean the bathroom so the floor is super yuck and bathroom is pretty gross too long when I got home tonight's I happily poured myself a wine and watched some Netflix in bed he got angry at me and demanded that I help him clean up I said no he is more than welcome to do it and he did he claimed the entire house and is now not speaking to me he said what I did was disgusting I could have made him sick and made him late for work by not having his clothes washed and died and he also said he is very sore and tired from cleaning for hours and is angry because he wanted to play xbox he's been tramping about me to his friends saying he thinks he can't be with me anymore I'm 99% sure he didn't know I was listening am I the a-hole should I not have done this please help oh my god this is just a relationship breakdown 101 doesn't look like he wants to help out he's sad when reality hits him and he has to do the work and he sees what it's like on the other side and he doesn't understand hey maybe I should be nicer to my girlfriend maybe I should help her out he's just like I hate her she makes me do everything she's like mom again I repeat not the a-hole there's an update I broke up with him this morning after talking it through he genuinely believes because he is the male that he doesn't need to contribute to housekeeping I showed him this post and he got super angry and said I was out of place he said he wasn't comfortable being in a relationship where the female doesn't have a traditional role in the household and going forward he expects me to resume the cleaning and cooking so I broke up with him and he didn't believe me so I moved my stuff out back to my mum's today while he was at work and took the dogs not that he ever looked after them thank you people of reddit's you've really helped me see my worth into what I was blind to thank you and we'll read some comments just cuz we can not the a-hole yuras girlfriend not his mum or his nanny mums and nannies shouldn't even be expected to do all of the housework if you were two adults living together who both work you ought to split the housework if you're hiring someone to help you clean and tidy you need to make sure that's agreed upfront as part of their role no-one should automatically be cleaning up after a grown man oh I know but I think a boyfriend might be looking at her as sort of his mummy or nanny which of course isn't okay and makes him double the a-hole bang made not the a-hole he sounds like he learned a valuable lesson about how much work you've been putting into the house and the relationship and you've learned a valuable lesson about how much work he's putting in he thinks he can't be with me anymore I think he's right and I think you'll be better off for it to be honest it sounds like he hasn't learned his lesson he still blames her for the house being disgusting but most likely he's making most of the filth he may very well know how much is his mess and how little he does to clean but that's not something he will ever ever admit especially not to her he's going to deny responsibility blame her and make demands of her to fix everything for the rest of their relationship which hopefully ends and it did it also goes to show that at a pinch he's perfectly capable of actually doing the cleaning he's able to see the place getting gross and correcting it on his own without nagging so everything up to now has been Shia entitlement disrespect laziness and selfishness not the a-hole read the writing on the wall and leave him being single would be better posted by user deleted titled am I the a-hole fee using my roof my rules on my mum long story short my mom and dad are temporarily staying with myself and my fiance in our house they've been here three weeks already and will be here three more I wasn't sure about moving them in because my parents mum especially have been a bit funny about my relationship we're both women my fiancee said that she was fine with them staying and that being around us might actually get them more comfortable with it's on coming in mom and dad gave us the whole don't worry we won't intrude you won't even notice us and predictably within 24 hours we were acutely aware of their presence they reacted to everything we do with a comment or them pulling a face or something they told us once to save it for the bedroom when we kissed and have been told to put the bedroom eyes away when we just looked at each other they're good about knocking when were in our room but communal areas are presenting a serious issue then tonight while I was cooking dinner my fiancee came into the kitchen I asked her to set the table and as she walked past me she touched my ass and mum saw and dinner mum said we need to have a talk and went on to say that she saw the PDA and she would appreciate a little more discretion then basically went into a longer version of save it for the bedroom but this time adding that we're stuck together so let's try and make it comfortable for everyone and presented it as a hygiene issue because we were in the kitchen this really ticked me off honestly it's ticked me off for three weeks now but this was probably just where I hit boiling points but to actually be sent down and given and talking to about PDA with my fiance he now iron home and 28 years old would probably make most people hit boiling points I said that this is our home and we should be able to express affection especially as we're doing them a favour letting them stay with us so not only will we not go out of our way to make them more comfortable but we're going back to our regular PDA levels starting now mum said that this was the opposite of what she wanted going into the conversation and she feels that I'm being immature by saying we'd go heavier on the PDA from now on and said we're still your parents young lady I responded and this is my house my roof my rules mum then got up and stormed into the guest room and just said she won't come out until I apologize my fiancee is happy I said something and I admitted I should have a lot sooner but dad is pushing me to apologize not for the rest of its but specifically for the use of my roof my rules as mum used that on me constantly as a kid and feels I'm throwing that back in her face but dad is being otherwise reasonable and says she shouldn't have talked to me like that it's just that one phrase that has really upset mum am I the a-hole I don't see any reason why he would be the a-hole the mum is in her house continually pushing boundaries and she's doing her best to keep them happy for the meantime but every time anything happens that they don't agree with they just like you can't do that you can't do that it's not it's not appropriate in your house we don't want to see that it's like let a couple do what they want it's their house it's their relationship you may not agree with it but you can't say it it's their house and sorry and for that reason RP is not the a hole not the a hole I might be overstepping but your parents seem immature in term of phobic they're using microaggressions to try to silence your sexuality they probably kissed in front of you before while you were a kid or a teenager living under their roof they need to sit down and respect your life and your choices RP don't let them steamroll you into submission your house your rules it's especially valid because your mum used to use it on you she can't handle her own rule my parents have never been touchy-feely people and I honestly have seen them kiss maybe twice in my 28 years of existing and in general they're not very affectionate with anyone so I thought maybe that was part of it but it's probably worth pointing out that when I came out as bisexual mum said she was fine with it so long as she didn't have to see it but has always been fine with PDA when I was with men so there's likely an element of homophobia in addition to them not being affectionate yeah RP that sucks your parents suck for that I'm sure they love you in their own ways but it's not about love or respect when it comes to silencing wlw relationships but being okay with wlm relationships they care more about their own comfort instead of yours which is not how parent-child relationships usually work so this is clearly not about her disapproving of PDA this is 100 percent homophobia and as the mother of a wonderful gay son and hopefully future son-in-law I think that her attitude is a disgrace any parent is supposed to love their child under conditionally and as long as you're with your fiance now the review will be accepted by her you're in adults now and this is yours and your fiancees house and you can do whatever you want in your place your mother was just fine with the role as long as she was building the power over you you were not being petty to insist that she cannot dictate your own behavior in your own home yes she is your mother that doesn't mean that you have to bow down to her now that you're grown up don't apologize she's in the wrong and she's a hypocrite for not being willing to obey your house rules this isn't fair to you or your fiance sorry but it's time for some boundaries give her a few days and tell her that if she doesn't apologize for making you and your girl feel like trash she will have to leave because she will no longer be welcome to stay in your house am I the a-hole for shredding fiancee's prom picture sir my fiance's kept a box over the years of memories and stuff she has she's been collecting memories in it since she was like 10 cute I guess seems more like hoarding to me but if she likes it I like it she told me it's very private and I'm not allowed to go through it unless she wants me to I've probably only seen things in it like three times ever however I came upstairs a couple days ago and she was on the floor looking through it she hears me come in and she turns around all excited and tells me to look showing me a picture she'd forgotten existed it's her at the prom when she was 15 she's in this pale yellow dress and she's cuddled up against some guy in a blue suit with his tie matching her dress they both beaming in the picture and it's got a banner over the top saying prom 2007 she rubs the picture fondly like it's some dead relative and says something about how much she loves it I thought it was pretty rude because I'm standing there and she's telling me about how much she loved going on a date with another guy I told her that kind of hurts my feelings and she laughed and says I love the picture not the guy in it I said I don't like hearing a talk about her ex and she goes I was 15 the relationship barely counted he was a nice guy and it was a nice event that's all it is I got tired of hearing her talk about happy times with someone else so I left the room she didn't really get why I was upset but she dropped it and I guess it was over she went out the other day not breaching lockdown they came across the box again and our cupboard I figured she didn't really need the old memories anymore sir I took out the prom picture and I ran it through our shredder no big deal she comes back home comes into the room and immediately asks me why the shredder is plugged in seeing as we barely use it I told her I was just tossing away old junk that we don't need and she asks me what exactly I tossed away and I told her old pictures and stuff so she opens the shredder and starts taking out strands of the picture and she turns to me and starts yelling did shred my prom picture and sir she runs over to the cupboard and starts digging through the box and throws the whole thing on the floor when she finds it's gone and she's all teary now and she's yelling at me asking me why I did it and saying that the guy didn't really mean anything to her anymore if he didn't mean anything to her she doesn't need reminders of him she tidied up the mess that she's made and she's now gone and put a lock in the box and called me impossibly selfish she's been refusing to cook for me and do stuff now telling me that she'll take me seriously when I apologize for what I've done okay sure I shouldn't have gone through a box but I didn't do anything she's basically just keeping junk around for nothing I did her a favor so seeing is it such a big deal now am I the a-hole um that's a very good question Opie I you know she is your fiancee and everything it's a really nice that you did that isn't it I'm sure you feel really great doing that that's that's not an impossibly selfish thing to do you just lifted the burden right off her shoulders didn't you dear lord I I think you deserve the Karma that's coming your way open your the a-hole update so we're not getting married hope y'all are happy I'm not and never was abusive screw off stop DMing me hmm you're the a-hole holy crap so much it's been 13 years she doesn't care about him she's marrying you it was a fond memory from when she was a kid and you shredded it's he took something he knew she liked and destroyed it what's wrong with you I don't think she will still marry him good for her I know I wouldn't I'd be freaking ticked and I say this is someone who never even went to prom darn shred people's cherished memories I know right what the hell it was her freakin prom how could you be so heartless saying it wasn't a big deal and he would doing her a favor you have some major self-esteem issues if you think her high school dates she probably doesn't even talk to anymore is a threat to your relationship I'm surprised she didn't dump you on the spot my prom was canceled cuz of the pandemic but if I had a picture of my prom I would want to keep it she likes the picture because it was a time in high school where she was able to dress up and be with her friends but you went ballistic cuz of the guy in the photo it was a long time ago get over it you also went through her belongings that she told you not to go through you don't respect what she thinks as you call it junk if what I wrote above wasn't clear about what I thought you're the a-hole and a major one the International Space Station can see how big of an a-hole you are hope she sees and heats the red flags posted by user shore distribution three three are titled am I the a-hole for burning my mum's diaries letters and writings because I don't want anything to do with her instead of giving them to my siblings you can probably guess that I had a strange relationship with my mother she had an affair while married to my dad and she ended up leaving my dad for her affair partner my dad was a good man before the affair but he took it hard and allowed it to destroy him I was left to play son and parent to him while my mother started a new family it was hard to watch her play mom too when you children and pretend like I didn't exist I might occasionally get a call from her but she was so busy raising her new kids that she didn't have time for me it was also hard to understand why his kids had so much more than me we were poor and why she was okay with that as I got older teens she did try to re-establish a relationship with me but I wasn't interested she was still trying to mend fences when she died last year but I will at least give her credit for trying she tried very hard to have a relationship with me but my heart was too hardened for that to be possible one of the things she left for me was her Diaries from the time that she was a teenager she also left me some letters she had kept over the years and some writings her hope was that I would read them and get to know her better she wasn't expecting me to forgive her but it was her way of trying to make up for the years when we had little contacts my siblings knew about this and if they could make copies once I was done with him I didn't promise them anything those diaries sat in my study slash home office for many months I didn't want to read them but I felt like I needed to do something it was a friend of mine that suggested I burned them as a catharsis which is what I decided to do I went over to his place one weekend and we burned all of it he was right it did make me feel better I feel like I can now be done with her forever when my siblings found out about it they were upset they told me that I had no right to do it and if I didn't want the Diaries I should have given them away but I told them that they were mine to do with as I pleased and I had every right to burn them if I wanted my wife said that she agreed with them and thought my decision was spiteful she said she felt like I might have even wanted to do it so my siblings could not have the Diaries as a way of punishing them she also feels like it could have been an opportunity for healing as a family that is now lost my wife bases her opinions on the fact that I didn't discuss my plan with which she thinks is because I knew she'd urge me not to do it I don't agree with her tank I did this because I felt like this is what I needed to do to move on from this situation but am I the a-hole yes yes yes yes yes you are Wow my heart sank reading that what's wrong with you yeah sure you feel like you need to move on but your siblings still wanted to relationship with your mother and she's dead now and you know even if she was a bad person your siblings obviously didn't view her that way just because you legally were allowed to do that doesn't mean that you're not a monster in a whole bunch of people's eyes now for taking those actions that's so incredibly selfish deal lord I don't know how you even continue from there you're the a-hole ope you're the a-hole if you didn't want them her other children who they would have held sentimental value for should have had them this was a really selfish thing to do which hurt your siblings and nobody else there is no reason Opie you couldn't have let your siblings make copies before you burned them this was spiteful and hateful like your dad you let this destroy you as well you and those around you would benefit from you getting professional help you're the a-hole edits I'm reading your responses and honestly I'm feeling really sad for you you've lost all opportunity now to visit what she wrote in her Diaries I think you're really going to regret this choice that has to be a heavy feeling to have right now I agree Opie you need urgent therapy your father is an adult and made his own decisions as did your mother your father is just as much at fault for you growing up poor as your mother is my family has a similar structure but all three parents ensured that the children stay out of adults problems I would never do that to my step siblings and they wouldn't to me your mother made constant attempts to have a relationship with you and you made a decision to push against them she loved you enough to respect that you did this out of spite and pure jealousy you need to seek help before you allow your past to affect your future posted by user am either a whole eight two two seven two waves titled am I the a-hole for not wanting my boyfriend's brother in my birthday pictures because he has a very distracting facial scar I've 22 female been with my boyfriend for three years now and things are going great I have a really good relationship with his family and his parents adore me they're well off and always give me lots of supports I'm not exactly rich which I really appreciate for some context his brother got into a car accident last year and it was pretty rough he was mostly fine but ended up with a permanent facial scar nothing wrong with that he still looks great but the scar is huge and very noticeable it's a very sensitive topic but I think he'll get better soon anyway it was my birthday recently and we all had a nice dinner afterwards I needed some pics for my social media so I handed my boyfriend's brother my phone and told him to start snapping then my boyfriend asked him to join us too and I didn't really expect that his brother wasn't interested in being in the pics with us since the accident he's become very withdrawn and doesn't even like being social but my boyfriend encouraged him eventually he decided to join us but I was totally against it I was kind of upset that I was put on the spot like that and my boyfriend noticed and asked what's wrong I said that the scar is just too noticeable and would get more attention which isn't fair especially when you consider it's my birthday I'm not an attention-seeker but I think it's unfair to do that to someone also I just didn't think it would look nice apparently that was horrible of me because everybody was acting like I'm the devil my boyfriend got ticked and refused to take any pictures with me his parents seemed quite mad too but they didn't seem much his brother didn't even look very upset he just gave me a blank stare and left the room not sure why everybody is acting like I said something so horrible when he didn't even respond he seemed fine to me and even if I screwed up why weren't any of them straight up tell me yesterday I spoke with my boyfriend about it and he demands that I apologize to his brother apparently it was the first time he actually seemed okay with having his pics taken and I ruined that I'm sorry about that but I don't think that's relevant at all I just feel like I'm being blamed for everything my boyfriend keeps saying that I hurt his brother's feelings but I don't see any evidence of that I personally don't see why an apology is needed am i the a-hole I'm gonna have to go with the big YES on that one unfortunately you know ruining an entire family dynamic and crushing someone's soul it's a little bit of a heartless thing to do and here not being able to read the room is extremely telling so unfortunately I ope you are the a-hole I'm so flabbergasted that you could possibly even think you're not the a-hole he can't control what his scar looks like and you're clearly more concerned with your social media appearances that an actual living breathing person gross Opie is a future bridezilla Emma the a-hole post I just know it look am i the a-hole for making my wheelchair using bridesmaid not use her ugly attention-grabbing chair at my wedding am I the a-hole for asking my fiancé's mom to get a nose job also who posts every picture they take to social media why could open not have taken the photo and then just not posted it was it so difficult to be near someone with a scar good lord how is it not your fault you made him feel uncomfortable after you literally told him his face was too ugly to be in a picture oh my god they didn't want to tell you how rude it was because a it's pretty obvious to 99.9% of society that that's a horrible thing to say and be they didn't want to keep talking about it to make the poor guy feel worse I hope you learn from this and grow as a person and apologize to your boyfriend's brother and whole family you're the a-hole by 10 million also I guarantee nobody gives a freak about her social media posts that much they probably scroll like and keep scrolling how fudging narcissistic posted by user nc3 titles am I the a-hole for proposing at my sister's baby shower my sister and I are twins and 25 years old she has a husband and now is having a child's I'm in a lesbian relationship and have been with my partner for nearly a year my sister is borderline homophobic and has never made the effort with my partner she always refers to her as my friend and that it's not possible to love somebody of the same sex anyway she had her baby shower last week and there was most of our family there after she got most of her gifts I proposed to my girlfriends I've been planning this for around two months and decided I wanted to do it at my sister's baby shower as a way to show off my partner and how much I loved her it wasn't awkward disaster she said yes by the way anyway my sister was really rude to me and my parents weren't happy but supported my decision my sister then texted me and said how disrespectful and screwed I am to marry my diaper and at her baby shower she still is furious at me but I don't see anything wrong with it am i the a-hole yeah unfortunately you are doesn't matter if they like to gusting people it pushes it into like everyone sucks here for the way that the sister handled the situation but at the same time I kind of don't blame her it's not your place at the baby shower to be doing a proposal it's kind of an inappropriate time to be doing it and stealing the spotlight away from the sister and their child's I don't support that unfortunately but I don't support the sisters attitude it's everyone sucks er leaning on your the a-hole but much more leaning that way seriously you proposed at an event held for someone else how could you not see what a huge a-hole you are you're the a-hole your sister absolutely sucks for being a homophobe but for this situation it's about you choosing to propose at her event to spite her colossal a-hole eta what a nice way for your fiance to remember her proposal instead of making it about your relationship you used her as a prop to spite your sister I feel so sad for her partner imagine being used that way nothing special or intimate to them as a couple just used a major milestone as a way to stick it to a relative gross selfish rude right like I wouldn't want someone who didn't respect me around for my proposal if someone proposed to me at someone else's events I would die of embarrassment I wouldn't be surprised if Opie's fiance felt the need to apologize on behalf of Opie after the party I wouldn't say yes the lack of respect for what's supposed to be a cherished moment would kill me honestly I would likely need a break from that person you're the a-hole it seems like you're just doing it to rub it in her face of course it was going to cause tension this isn't to say I agree with your sisters views at all but stealing the limelight at someone else's celebration literally never goes well not just that she used her fiance as a prop instead of doing something special with the engagement I feel so bad for her fiance how screwed up do you have to be to use someone like that so your proposal serves as a big screw you to your sibling posted by user alternative account 1 underscore titles am i the a halt for refusing to give my friend the money I made selling her artwork my friend is a new artist that has been getting a lot of attention lately she recently started selling prints when she listed them she criminally under priced them I told her this I said she could easily charge double for these prints there is a high demand and she didn't believe me so I bought two of her prints I work in a coffee shop that doubles as a gallery so I asked my boss if I could hang the two pieces and I listed them for sale and they both sold for triple what I paid for them like I thought I ended up making around $300 I told a couple of people and what got around to my friends she started demanding the money from me for the sales I told her absolutely nots I told her from the jump that she was under charging I think that this $300 is payment to me for showing her that she's mad and his went to others for solace our friend group is really heated about it they want me to give her the money they think she's a hungry artist and I'm robbing her now I feel bad she missed out on the money but does that make me an a-hole am I the a-hole yeah it's not your intellectual property that you have the rights to be distributing and reselling unfortunately that's how this works Opie and you should have just given her the money to begin with if you were going to do that as a like here see this is what your time is worth here here's your $200 now have my hundred dollars back or just the 300 dollars if you're feeling like a normal genuine person and then you offer her to have her prints up in your shop so therefore you're completely benefiting the friends that's how you make this rides you being so Resolute's and well unwilling to change your worldview on this is disgusting and I think you're the a-hole for doing is you're the a-hole at least give her some of it isn't she your friend you're not treating her like one also you have access to an art gallery and she doesn't why not at least split it with her if I were in her position I honestly wouldn't really want to be friends with you anymore actually Opie did I he works in an art gallery and told the artist she had criminally underpriced them the artist insisted that her selling price was fair you can lead a horse to water but you can't make her drink it's absolutely not the a-hole you're under charging for your Arts no I'm not sells it under priced resells at higher priced which is now open properly this isn't Communist China folks we're this legally went wrong though is she put it in a gallery without her permission representing it as hers therefore the patrons thought they were supporting the artists they would probably not have been willing to pay that much had they known the funds were not going to the artists they are legally allowed to resell it yes but not to falsely represent it or the artists there is actually a legal issue here they did not buy the commercial rights to it he can't just buy a bunch of prints of a living artist throw a fake show for said artist and keep the money there's a lot of legal issues in that an artist has the rights to how their work is being represented and how they as an artist is being represented tricking patrons into thinking they are supporting an artist is extremely legally questionable galleries don't exist for the benefit of for the artists some are more supportive than others but no one should expect the money they pay for artwork to be going to the artist unless you buy directly from said artist in corrects galleries representing living artists after the benefit of the artist that's why artists and to contracts and make arrangements with the gallery usually with a percent of 30 to 50 percent splits that's the whole point in showing in a gallery doing solo shows doing event joint shows it's to profit for the artist and the gallery owner and to get your name out there the absolute norm for a living artist is that a percentage of the sale is going to the artist regular gallery visitors know this and expect this it is up to the artist to choose whether or not the percentage is worth their time or if they will choose a gallery with a better percentage this artist did not get that choice the RP did misrepresent the show it was not approved by the artist it was misrepresented to the patron by saying no one expects that shows you have never shown in a gallery or often go to galleries because that is in fact exactly what it is for and to be expected for living artists an individual piece of art is property the artist has no right to it once they sell its and transfer ownership they can display its or resell it as they want to nothing in the LP suggested they represented themselves as the artist I know this is an MIT a whole subreddit but I really liked that rabbit hole of art law I know it's more a slash legal advice thing but I never really thought of it like that so I guess it's a very nuanced question and it would probably matter country to country state to state so I'm not completely sure what the answer to this one is posted by user read it through 5662 titles am I the a-hole for buying my wife a weight loss kit for her birthday oh my god I'm a 25 year old guy and I'm married to my wife who was 24 okay so recently I've noticed that she's gained a bit of weight not crazy or anything ridiculous but it bits I'm into fitness myself so I like to stay active in healthy in general well her birthday was a couple of days ago and along with some other gifts I got her a weight loss workout bundle kids immediately she became upset with me about it and was thinking I was mad at her or saying she's fats which I wasn't I tried explaining to her why I did it but she didn't want to hear me it's been a couple days now and she's still ticked about it am either a haul her pea you're married to this woman what's how can you ever think this is a good one this is just stupid lapse in judgment feel like it's a troll post but if it's real damn you really got a work to apologize for that how can you be a health and fitness like guru man's you really into it and then you pull this stunt that's not a healthy way to manage a relationship I wouldn't be surprised if this takes an even bigger toll on her self-esteem and body issues have a good long hard look at yourself for doing this and question what was the deep down motivation of this because it kind of feels more of like an attack than an outreach for help you're the a-hole that's not a gift that's an accusation that she's not good enough in your eyes it was bad already but as a birthday gift it's even worse than a vacuum which is the standard terrible gift in this sub that one always trips me up a bit I get that it's largely because of the implications it's your job to clean and because it's more of a family gift than a personal gift but man I would love to receive a top-of-the-line vacuum and oroboro vac as a gift I think the difference is in what you ask for versus what they pick for you I like cooking and gardening sir I often ask for tools and appliances to further those interests however I understand why someone who isn't into that sort of thing might be offended at getting a bread machine or an elevated garden might be annoyed you're the a-hole replying to this comment because this is my reasoning if I specifically asked for a weight loss kits which I have in the past when family asked me what I wanted for a gift it's okay even welcomed if someone gifts one to me wholly unsolicited what the actual hell yeah you're the a-hole putting the woman and her weight thing aside that what you basically did here is get her a birthday gift that was something either you wanted or you decided she should want it wasn't at all related to her interests or values that's not a gift it's an expectation or a request to be honest any self-improvement type of thing that your partner hasn't explicitly expressed interest in is a bit of an ogre it feels like a passive-aggressive way to start a conversation about you and your partners diverging values if you want her to care about fitness with you then talking to her about it and making it an invitation to share something would have been a better start yeah o P if she's a clever girl don't be surprised if your next gifts of books on how to be a better lover on working on emotional intelligence on how to be more generous or on getting over selfishness or if you're really unlucky on how to get through a divorce or or if that hurts but I think that's a good place to end today's episode guys I hope that you've had a good day so far today herb it's been a nice one it's not too sunny outside today but I'm happy I hope you guys enjoyed it I hope you had a good night day sleep whatever you gonna be doing I'm from this point onwards I hope Altria marques having a good day today too alright guys that's all for today's video I hope you enjoyed this one today tell me what you thought of it down in the comments below if you're not subscribed to the channel I would love you to subscribe because I love your face and I love seeing you here every single day that you are here in this video I don't know what else to say today guys I hope you enjoyed the content I do have a second channel that's called marquee - link should be up on the screen somewhere here if you don't have ad block installed if you don't know where to find the channel you can go to my main page just click on the marquee face and it should be on the right somewhere there or on channels if you're unfair I hope you guys have a good one I'll see you in the next one bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 55,781

Rating: 4.864181 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: FEGOm8XCLME

Length: 158min 30sec (9510 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 01 2020