r/AmiTheA**Hole For Holding My Daughter Accountable?

g'day there guys wondering if the real Slim Shady will ever stand up back at it again with another episode of our /mi the a-hole now if you love this content like I love you I want you to sit back relax Chuck a prawn on the barbie alike on the video maybe subscribe and enjoy the contents posted by user made her repay the dress titles am I the a-hole for quote unquote ruining my kid's life after she ruined a dress x31 and i mail 32 how to see f-16 way too young where friendly co-parents one big rule we share is if our daughter break something that she pays for it now sis 27 and I are the only grandkids aren't never married instead she worked with Grandma and Grandpa at their seamstress store and took it over when they retired sis's girlfriend 29 proposed last year grandpa offered to make future sister-in-law a custom suits which she was over the moon about grandma had me ask sis what her dream dress was and record the conversation sis thinking was just between us taught me in great detail what her dream dress was though said it was way too expensive so she would get something much cheaper well a few months later grandma surprised sis with her dream wedding dress it fit perfectly and everyone cried sadly grandma recently passed away which hit us all hard sis was devastated but decided that the dress meant grandma would still be there with us at the wedding the issue comes in with C she's very large much larger than sis three days ago we decided to go visit sis and see how she was doing it was great but then she asked if she could try on the dress sis politely said no and C made a face but dropped it later we decided to go grab dinner sis and I went to pick up our orders but si decided to stay and play with sis's dog we got back and the dress was destroyed si had apparently tried to get it on popping some seams and got stuck instead of waiting for help she cut her way out once the dress was hacked to bits sis was devastated and asked us to leave I grounded C and Kol danced with some pictures asking if it could be saved she said there was no way she said she'd make a new one but it wasn't the same then she dropped the bomb on me grandma had hand sewed most of the dress used super expensive fabric and put almost 500 hours in making that dress since it was the only family waiting that we would have in total the dressed cost twelve thousand dollars give or take C has about 15,000 saved from various jobs as well as winning writing competitions this was supposed to help her in college I took her to the bank and set in motion transferring all the funds since as her parents I still have control over its $12,000 to Anne's to pay for the new dress 3000 to my sister's wedding as an emotional distress tax I explained exactly why this was happening to C but she sobbed the entire time asking what was she supposed to do for college and saying it wasn't her fault I told her she could get a job if she didn't get a scholarship and it was her fault for trying on the dress after she'd been told no and for not waiting until we got back a few popped seams could have been fixed hacking the dress to pieces couldn't see told X and while she agrees C was in the wrong after the full story said I shouldn't have ruined her future for a free dress I reminded her of our rule and she still thinks I'm wrong so am I the a-hole here edit since people are mentioning they don't understand the three thousand that was to make up to my sister that C destroyed the last gift our dead grandma ever gave her I consider that part of the price of destroying the dress since even if aren't remakes it's it's lost a great deal of its sentimental value I pointed out how young we had her because I wanted to explain how a 31 year old has a 16 year old kid I do not resent having her she's the best thing I've ever done I also brought up C's size because sis has Crohn's disease and thus is very tiny the dress was made for her size and see is much larger than sis I love si as she is but just holding the dress up it was clear it wouldn't fit the character count is very limiting headed to to clarify the money was seized have fun at college money not her college fund my ex and I are paying for whatever scholarships turns when she was asking what she would do for college she was asking what would she do for fun and to buy things that we didn't pay for again the character count is very limiting so I had to cut details to post edit three sir I got off the phone with my ex about 20 minutes ago at some of your suggestions I sent her the pictures and she freaked she apparently didn't believe me when I said it had been hacked to parts and believed it was just a few torn seams she was pretty much on my side after she told me that she spent the day badgering our daughter asking her why she did what she did and finally see cracked and said she was mad that grandma wasn't alive to make her address and that it was unfair my sister got a free beautiful dress as a reminder when my daughter got nothing despite the many things she was given after the funeral she tried it on took it off when the seams popped and then in anger hacked it apart if she couldn't have a dress from Grandma no one could her own words honestly knowing she did it on purpose has just made things worse the fact that she could be so cruel that's not the daughter we tried to raise she will be going to therapy whether that's in person when local therapists start taking new clients again or one of those apps people have mentioned we need to talk about it more her punishment stands as is though we're going to see how therapy goes as for all the same stirs who have reached out please know untouched by your kindness I really am my aunt is going to see if she can incorporate at least some of the fabric from the old dress into the new one maybe at least try to save the beading but if there's anything usable I'll reach out I so so appreciate all of your offers you're incredibly kind people I have yet to talk to my sister but I have talked to her fiance sis isn't doing well the dress has caused a Crohn's flare-up so she's stuck in bed sick which honestly I'm not surprised Crohn's is often triggered by stressful events so I was expecting it I told fiance about ants making a new dress and she'd promised she'd take the remains over to ants on Monday she's thankful for us addressing the issue but is asked to fill some space from sis so she can recover and heal and hopefully not end up in the hospital as for the three K we'll see what my sisters state is in a few days if she has to go to the hospital then the money is forfeit for her medical bills since it was seized selfishness that put her there so she can pay for it if sis does not end up in the hospital then I'll consider giving it back after she's gone to therapy for a few months if she's accepted what she did was wrong and worked to make amends we'll see what the next few months spring I guess I don't even need to make a judgment call after that it's pretty obvious I'm like who the a-hole is in this situation I'll read a few comments anyway just to give some perspective from readers not the a-hole absolutely not she ruined her own future in my mind that dress wasn't 12 or even $15,000 it was priceless it could have and should have been passed down for generations I'm horrified your daughter did such a thing most kids don't go to college with savings so she's just going to have to tough it out I hope she looks back one day and realizes the payment she made was severely short I am so sorry this has happened to your family agree it sounds like our P's family adjust gracious generous people I wouldn't blame any bride who demands compensation for a ruined wedding dress let alone one that was custom made by a now deceased family member RP you didn't ruin your daughter's future $15,000 doesn't go that far in college she's young and it she'll make that money back again edits I just reread this it also sounds like your daughter doesn't think she did anything wrong my sister didn't even demand anything this is the rule and I decided to uphold it she just thought the dress was a loss hey RP since the original dress was hacked Spade meant so much hit me up I've been sewing for over a decade 13 years and I would love to turn some of the threads into something lovely for your sister she may not have the dress but she could have something like a hairpiece made from it and it's all my thanks so much for the kind words and reddit Awards I can see Opie did read it from his update and honestly something small and symbolic like a ham piece would really go a long way into at least easing that burden on the wrong sister I feel really bad for her posted by user inked dude 12:44 titled am I the a-hole for getting a tattoo sir I 28th male I'm currently living with my girlfriend 26 female of 2 years because of quarantine and after the restrictions were lifted in the area we decided to keep living together for a bit longer I'm a personal trainer and a fitness model and to my girlfriend is a model so because of her lockdown my girlfriend started following this weird vegan girl she does everything this chick does from her diet and workouts which was fine too not shaving I didn't like it but I decided to just stay silent about it I'm a pretty vain guy and I'd like to keep myself as good-looking as possible I'm shallow I know so before you come at me yes I also shave all over my body I was fine with it until she initiated sex I told her as nicely as possible that I didn't find her body hair attractive so I passed on that oh she started yelling at me with the whole my body my rules and I told her I didn't force her to shave I just didn't like the idea of it I never said anything bad about it by the way just that it wasn't my cup of tea I then said if that rule applies to her it applies to me too and I slept on the couch the next day I decided to go to my best friend's house whose roommate was a tattoo artist lockdown restrictions are lifted I've been talking about getting a tattoo on my chest for the longest time but my girlfriend always discouraged me and told me I'm not allowed to get one I already have a half sleeve by the way I got a tattoo of a lion and I absolutely love it so I came home and my girlfriend saw it and went ballistic she yelled at me for being an a-hole and cried she asked me how could you do this to me and then I told her my body my rules she stormed out and locked herself in the room and hasn't come out since I'm on the couch right now and thinking about if I took it too far so reddit's am I the a-hole that's a tough one like obviously you know you're an a-hole for that action and I'm sure she feels like an a-hole for suddenly pushing those boundaries on you and you reacting the way you did so my judgment here lies in everyone sucks here and I'm questioning whether you guys are going to fix this one or not or continue being childish with your tit-for-tat retaliations well like in my body I'm going to do this my body I do this my recommendations is see a therapist or breakup because the way it's looking right now you guys aren't willing to sit down and have a honest conversation with each other about how you're feeling why you're feeling this way and how we're going to fix this one although in my belief if you want to chest tattoo and it's something that you've always wanted you should be able to logically say to your girlfriend why you should be allowed to have it and that she should be accepting of it same way that you should be accepting of hair it's natural it's the human body it's what we do everyone sucks here y'all seem petty as hell maybe have actual discussions about things rather than dropping things like I'm not sexually attracted to you anymore when she initiates sex or going and getting a tattoo without telling her you can say that you're not telling her what to do with her body but when you basically say I won't have sex with you if you have body hair then that is a lot of pressure for her to change do I agree with her telling you not to can--it a - no this is why it's an everyone sucks here she's an a-hole for thinking she can tell you what to do with your body but you are supposedly adults and you should discuss these things and if these discussions reveal that you really can't handle female body hair and she can't handle tattoos then call it a day but don't train score points against one another which is what it sounds like you're doing here so much this and to add you both are grown adults try at least to live as some and solve your problems like adults talk and much more importantly listen to each other the difference in your choices is she can if she wants shave your removal is way more complicated and expensive and of course your choice is childish I'm pretty sure you know it so maybe give her time to cool off and then initiate talking to each other and keep it open because if you go that ballistic over small things it's better for you both to separates everyone sucks yeah grow up and in regards to and of course your choice is childish I'm pretty sure you know it why is choosing to get a second tattoo which he's wanted for ages a childish choice the only way it would be an issue is if he used her money for it in terms of the tattoo the only childish thing is heard telling him he's not allowed to get one and saying how could you do this to me seeing as it didn't do anything to her I think by calling a childish they're pointing out that mirroring her rhetoric my body my choice when skipping shaving is temporary and easily reversible and tattoos are permanent and difficult to undo is minimizing her points by applying it to a substantially different situation and in a way turning a disagreements more contentious I over all agree with your point though she's out of line for thinking his tattoo was doing something to her and not allowed I suppose your rights but I imagine he got fed up with her not allowing it and this incident was the last straw it's not like it was a spur-of-the-moment thing he's wanted one for a long time and my opinion of this one it really just doesn't sound like these two are a good fit for each other that's just based off what he said and that's a skewed perspective but as we always see here when someone shows you their true self you believe them posted by user another wedding post titled am I the a-hole for not all my friend to bring her service animal guide dog to my wedding i 28th female will be getting married in september i have a blind friend who mostly relies on her guide dog the dog obviously has access rights to all places now I'm in a sticky situation and I can sense that I will be the a-hole I have three chronic illnesses that I take 23 pills a day for severe asthma and you guessed it's an extremely severe dog allergy usually when I meet with my friends we meet in the open and I take two allergy pills however because of all the other medication I take these pills make me extremely drowsy to the point where I am officially not allowed to drive and I usually crash as soon as I get home from our get-togethers our wedding will be very intimate ie we will be in relatively small rooms I feel horrible about this but I don't think I can let my friends bring her dog it just wouldn't work I talked about it with my fiance and some friends finally I talked to my friend about it explained the situation and said I would love her to come but she can't bring her dog I said that for Vaughn ritual friends had offered to be on roster and assist her should she need it alternatively if she's not comfortable with this she could bring a person of her choosing to the wedding or I'd pay for a professional aide for the day I think it's important to note that her dog is not for any additional it's issues like seizures or anything like that unfortunately she was less than happy with my suggestions she accused me of being able estándar disability can be switched off for the day I understand what I asked was a lot and it is a difficult topic I told her to tell me if she changes their mind and I'd be happy to make arrangements but I won't budge all right Opie I must say you're not the a hole in this situation I'd say it's perfectly valid for you to stand your ground yes she's blind and it can be seen as ablest saying hey having a dog in this small enclosed space here is going to put me on the edge of death in some circumstances and I'd rather not go through that on my wedding day of all days I'm sure that could be take as insensitive but she has given her so many different options on the wedding day of other people that will help and not trigger these reactions to the dog as she already has been so I would say that the friend is the a-hole for trying to force the dog into the close environments and ruining the day for Opie with her already fragile health conditions I'm sorry but Opie is not the a-hole no a-holes here I was so ready to label you an a-hole after reading the title but I think you have extenuating circumstances for not wanting a service dog or any other dog at your wedding I can also understand why your friend would be upset this probably isn't the first time someone has tried to stop her from bringing her service dog somewhere I feel the same way Opie may have to just accept the fact that their friend won't attend without their dog and so won't be able to attend the wedding on the other hand the friend does know that Opie has a severe allergy and the pills make her extremely sleepy I find it a bit inconsiderate of the friend because both friend and Opie can't turn off their disability and health issues are for one day and dopey tried to find a solution even offering to pay however I also understand that it was unpleasant for the friend to hear that because they probably get that a lot from people who don't understand that their disability isn't something they can turn off Opie is fully aware that it can't be turned off considering she offered the friend a bunch of alternative options besides bringing her dog I wonder if Opie explained I wonder if Opie explained the allergy thing otherwise I can't see why her friend would be so upset by this nor a hose here I think this is just a misunderstanding your chronic illnesses and allergies are a disability - I can understand why your friend would be opposed to going out without a guide she is used to and they also get that you wouldn't want to be asleep or severely drowsy on your wedding day I would talk to your friend more and see if any of the solutions you mentioned could work or see if either of you could come up with more options I feel bad for both you and your friend this is a difficult situation definitely agree with all your points er the one thing I take issue with from the frame though is her accusation that Opie is ablest I understand that that can come from a place of frustration but it's unfair to say it regardless because in this situation it's completely untrue yes I totally agree I want to believe that it was said in the heat of the moment and that she will change her mind when she cools down but if she genuinely believes that she would be completely wrong definitely agree I've seen several posts lately detailing events where a friend is called an Opie ablest when it's not the case so I'm definitely a bit more sensitive to it right now that I normally would be main reason that that particular bit caught my eye posted by user throw of a 161 803 3 9 and 87 titled am I the a-hole for not splitting inheritance with my disowned brother when I was a college freshman and my brother was a sophomore he came out as gay counting on the fact that for the time our parents seemed relatively liberal and modern well they were nots they became cold and distant started engaging only in small talk with him around and invited him at home only for Christmas and Easter asking him to not make a big deal out of it with the entire family he finally decided to confront them over dinner and they started shouting that he was ungrateful he wanted to humiliate them in front of anyone and he left crying after that my parents in siblings started behaving like he disappeared for no reason any time me or a cousin would bring up the facts my parents since their siblings would just pretend he left for no reason or saying platitudes about forgetting the past without any actual efforts to reach out to him or apologize he is very smart and right after graduation found a job as quant in an American multinational company they recognized his talents and after a few years they paid for an MBA in the u.s. I took a totally different path in life and now I stayed in academia it's a job I love but the salary is quite different I married the love of my life and had three wonderful daughters whilst my brother and his fiancee are happily child free anyway here comes the issue my parents died a few weeks ago and left everything which sums up to their nice suburb house and holiday home in a nice coastal city to me it is not huge money but enough to pay for my daughter's university if they want to study abroad which I highly encouraged since as an insider I can tell my country public universities are degrading my brother did not want to come to the funeral understandably but I texted him when you passed by feel free to pick up anything you want from our parents house so we can sell it he was taken aback since he took for granted that we split the inheritance I was taken aback as well because I never considered that someone who owns three houses in New York and one in Prague someone who flies to show money every winter and to Brazil every summer would start fighting over an inheritance you'd be surprised what money does to people he accused me of taking advantage of our parents bigotry and to pose as a progressive until it does not cost me a dime I explained it was simply because I need the money to pay for my daughter's education but I would be happy to give him anything left once they graduates he then replied that how I paid for my offsprings education was none of his concern I replied that if he had to be like that then appearances decisions are not of my concern his significant other whom stye have a very good relationship with him called me today saying that he agreed with me about the money but when I said that I did not care about my parents's decision my brother took it as I don't care they disowned you and he was deeply hurt by that I tried to call to apologize but he won't return my calls am i the a hole here edits since so many people think I had no relationship with him and I sided with my parents it's not the case I kept in touch with him and up to now we had a very good relationship we tried to see each other as much as possible we live in different continents and we called about once a week me and my cousins had big fights with my parents about the way they treated him I had almost no relationship with my parents because apart from being homophobic a-holes they were also very difficult people to bear and my wife could not suffer them edit to his fiance just called me again he talked my brother out of contacting lawyers but he is still very ticked I told Kevin his fiance I understand and I was willing to apologize and discuss this through I am waiting for a response yeah this is a hard one here I'd say everyone kind of sucks in this situation I was saying that Opie didn't really suck until it got to this inheritance parts and you know money changes people I repeat could have split the inheritance with him and called it that but I also see that this is an easy way for Opie to secure a future for his kids and get them through college when they need it and get a good education I also see the hurt that the brother is going through with years of this bigotry it just being put on him by his parents I don't really think that there is a good solution to this one besides getting in contact and hashing it out like they have the way it stands now everyone is the a-hole but I'm glad that Opie is going to bridge that gap and contact him everyone sucks here but I think you already knew that your brother 100% was not entitled to go to their funeral your parents were homophobic and put him down all his life and obviously stopped giving a crap about him and it should be on you to make sure he is still given his inheritance however as you said he seems very well off and from what we know from your post he doesn't have children he needs to worry about right now not saying he automatically deserves it less but he could probably live without it to be honest this seems like a huge misunderstanding and I completely understand why your brother is so shaken up about it he was hoping that his parents would show an ounce of love for him that he never had gotten from them and now he never will I'm sure it's extremely heartbreaking for him but you didn't see that side and we're only thinking of your kids futures as you rightfully should be I know now you see the error and have tried to apologize but the best thing you can do is give it time his husband explained to you the issue and I'm sure you've explained how you misunderstood and tell me sorry you were and I'm sure those words will reach your brother soon give him time to process his emotions and grieving but also make sure he knows her intention was not to hurt his feelings and you were ignorant to the situation when apologies are done and over sit down and have an honest discussion with your brother about how you need this money for your kids futures and maybe you both can come to an agreement where you both can get what you need good luck to you my friends precisely personally I would think that the right thing to do in this situation would be divide the inheritance up as if your brother had not been disowned if not 50/50 then perhaps one fifth and 4/5 with the grandkids each getting a share why it's not Opie's role or responsibility to compensate for the crappy parenting their parents gave to Opie's brother even if there was no homophobia involved what if they left everything to ope would you still be telling Oh Peter split it with his brother I think you're being way too much of a saint my friend and that is always easy to do when giving advice to someone else but when you need the money and your kids can benefit from its you take what you get it is not like Opie manipulated his parents for that money either this sub isn't about legal responsibility he can keep all the money if he wants but he would still be an a-hole for doing sir and yes it's even worse since the brother was disowned for being gay the moral thing would be to include him damn the comments is so split this heaps of people saying you're the a-hole st. not the a-hole everyone sucks here no a-holes here Dan this is wild posted by user Jim nerd eight one three titled am i the a-hole for refusing to give my parents money I'm a 19 year old female with six oldest siblings my parents spent most of my childhood spending money they didn't have on my siblings so by the time I hit my teenage years I realized I was probably going to have to fend for myself financially when I turn 18 I started babysitting and doing odd jobs around my neighborhood when I was 14 and eventually got part-time jobs during the school year by the time I was 16 I was working three jobs in the summer and two in addition to school when my parents told me they couldn't pay for college I'd already earned enough along with scholarships to be able to put myself through a college and have plenty left over have continued to work during the school year and have been able to make money during quarantine by tutoring online the issue began a few months ago when my eldest sister 29 female got married my parents spent 30 grand on her wedding taking out a second mortgage to do so to make matters worse my dad was furloughed six days after the wedding they'd effectively dug themselves into a hole they couldn't get out of two weeks ago my mom texted me for the first time since the wedding she didn't say hi Hoss how I was will make any small talk she just said your dad and I need a favor when can we call you I'd expected this none of my elder siblings are doing well financially and they've exhausted all other loan options both from family and the bank I figured they'd text me ask me to loan them a few thousand and promised to pay it back when they could figure things out I was absolutely willing to pitch in a few thousand and had even considered giving them some of my tutoring jobs so they could make some extra cash I was not however expecting them to demand I give them all the money close to $40,000 I'd made from the ages of 14 to 18 the exact statement my mom had made was you made that money under our roof we were the ones who allowed you to work so you only have it because of us anyway we bought you food and clothes for 18 years that money is only a fraction of what you owe us and so on I said that food clothes and shelter were the very minimum it's what they signed up for when they choose to become parents I didn't ask for any of its etc they responded by telling me that if it wasn't for them I wouldn't have the life I have today I said they were being ridiculous and hung up since that day both along with the two of my siblings have continually hounded me about giving them what is rightfully theirs my siblings who have never been asked to give the money are still professing that it's my job as their kid to take care of them I told them they wouldn't see a cent of my hard-earned money and have no right to make such a request I'm torn I feel awful for refusing them outs but on the other hand this was their fault I feel I shouldn't be responsible for fixing their mess am I the a-hole no no you were not the a-hole they suck for putting themselves in such a hole it's not that hard to be like you know what we're not gonna take out a second mortgage we're not gonna give you $30,000 for your wedding it's your wedding here's a small donation that we can dig forward because we suck at keeping and not spending money it is not your fault that all these other people are financially illiterate and didn't see what was coming in the future because they weren't aware of their own circumstances that's on their moppy that's not your fault limit contact with them if you have to because money changes people and look what happens when they see that you're making all this money and they're not doing as well as you hoping I don't blame you keep on doing what you're doing you're not the a hole not the a hole they're poor financial choices and not your faults or your problem speaking purely based on you being a separate person the fact that they expect this from their own child is downright disgusting I'm so sorry that you're being put through this they're poor financial choices are not your fault or problem who the hell takes out a second mortgage just to finance a wedding they dig themselves into debt for one child and expect the only one that seems to have made something of themselves to dig them outs not the a-hole just cut them out completely and cut out any family agreeing with them - you were fiscally responsible Opie if you give the money they'll waste it's not the a-hole exactly this not the a-hole they have proven that they are not smart when it comes to money and the fact is that you have fended for yourself most of your life and they didn't help you money-wise so why help them demanding the money I think is the most irritating and some of your siblings pressuring you to give their money oh if they want their parents to have money so bad why don't they give the money themselves instead of asking you rights if anyone owes them it's the sibling just got married maybe Opie can help her parents outs but it can't be all on her the unfair entitlement here is mind boggling okay first off even if they had gone above and beyond for you in your childhood and also paid your way through college you wouldn't be the a-hole for refusing to give them money parents caring for their kids financially is what parents do it's not something that needs to be made up once you've grown if that were the case then it seems to me your siblings have a lot of paying back to do you're not the a-hole and don't let them hound you until you give in because they'll end up milking you dry and putting you in the same situation as them and your siblings not the a-hole I'm trying to figure out why they put themselves in a hole because of a wedding and then how is it your responsibility to bail them out imagine the kind of crappy parents you need to be to take out a second mortgage on your house for one kid but then demand the other pay you back for being born slash raised god it really makes you think doesn't it it really just makes you think anyway guys I think I'm gonna leave it there today I hope you enjoyed this episode I hope you've had a good day night sleep what have you been up to you I'll see you in the next episode and say hi to out Rumaki for me alright guys that's all for today's video I hope you enjoyed this one today tell me what you thought of it down in the comments below um if you're not subscribed to the channel I would love you to subscribe because I love your face and I love seeing you here every single day that you are here in this video I don't know what else to say today guys I hope you enjoyed the content I do have a second channel that's called Maki - link should be up on the screen somewhere here if you don't have ad block installed if you don't know where to find the channel you can go to my main page just click on the marquee face and it should be on the right somewhere there or on channels if you're unfair I hope you guys have a good one I'll see you in the next one bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 46,245

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: _PqXAeWZd5U

Length: 35min 15sec (2115 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 27 2020