r/LegalAdvice - INSANE BOSS TRIES TO GET ME FIRED! HELP!

g'day there guys it's your OC hubby Maki back at it again with another oscillate advice video now if you love me as much as I love you then you know what to do I want you to mosey on over to that old like button and tackle it like Crocodile Dundee maybe even chuck an Aussie flag down in the comments now with that said I want you to sit back relax Chuck a prawn on the barbie and get ready for some bloody good legal advice now our first pose today is by user throw away 101 1 1 9 800 my old boss is hell-bent on getting me fired from my new position so cross posts from our slash relationships they told me to come here for advice it is a wall of text but I needed to make sure I had all of the important information hey everyone first off let's say throw away because a lot of people know my main accounts also I apologise for the wall of text that is ahead forgot TLDR TLD our old bosses hell-bent on getting me fired spreading lies and making my new job a living nightmare so a five years ago I graduated college and was applying to PA programs I unfortunately did not get in any programs that fall so I decided to move to a big city on the west coast I applied to more schools out west and didn't get in I then decided my best bet was to get more patient care hours so I got a job at a hospital it wasn't ideal because my degree unfortunately is meaningless without grant school so the job I get was entry-level but it paid well and I was able to start paying back student loans and learn about inner workings of hospitals and see different departments I loved my job because I was able to interact with patients nurses doctors pretty much all the hospital staff I was hired on the midnight shift and during my first year I asserted myself as a leader and someone you could depend on I worked almost 3,200 hours my first year as my department was always short-staffed so overtime was easy to come by after my first year there I still wasn't accepted into any grad school programs but a leadership position on afternoons opened up and I applied for it and was interviewed by a panel of managers my manager and several others I and six others out of 24 were brought back for a second interview this one didn't involve my manager I was told by the panel the only reason I wasn't outright given the job is because my manager didn't believe I would do a good job and she seriously doubted my leadership skills I agreed that I was into the most assertive person but I would do my best to lead by action and speak up when I needed to the panel informed me that my job wasn't to make others work harder that was my managers job to make sure everyone was pulling their weights after a few weeks I got a call and was told I got the promotion to the lead position a few people who had been there longer than me gave me trouble the first few weeks because we have seniority I told my manager and she said she would handle it we had what I thought was a good relationship but it quickly became apparent she would rather had someone else in my position someone who would follow her direction without question even if it compromised patient care or privacy about six months after I took my current position we had several employees switch departments or quits I was working seven days a week 12-hour shifts until they hired enough new people to fill our voids this took around four months at that time I was accepted into a local PA program and would start the following spring I continued working when school started but much less than I was before because of school during this time my relationship with my manager deteriorated even further and she made it clear she wanted me gone the only thing was her boss the Director of Nursing ranted and raved about what a wonderful job I was doing and even though we were three-quarters staffed I was still able to manage all the work I finally graduated from my program two and a half years after I started at that points I needed a break from all the work as I was working 40 hours a week on top of 36 hours of interning / clinical work as well as studying I requested all of my PTO to be used to go back home as I hadn't left to see my family and over five years my PTO was approved by my HR and I took off I had a full two months off during my time off I got a call from the emergency departments they really wanted me to come in and be a trauma PA I was also called by our stroke units where I did a vast majority of my internship and they were interested in me coming to them to work I was ecstatic because both the emergency department and stroke unit were places that I wanted to work I talked it over with my family and decided to work for the emergency department I called my boss and told her that I was putting in my two-weeks and since I had a month and a half left on my vacation I figured I would be fine by starting in the IDI when I returned I told her I was offered a full-time PA position and she seemed really excited for me I notified the IDI that I would be graciously accepting their offer and that I could start as soon as I got back my friend who works in the department's told me my boss was livid that I was quitting but I didn't think much of it I said it was too bad and people leave all the time when it is their turn to move on I left it at that I was very ready to get back to the hospital and begin working however when I returned I ran into a bunch of issues firstly HR did transfer me to the IDI as a clinical staff member but didn't terminate my previous job title my first day my badge stopped working I couldn't use it to get into my work area locker room the building I went into HR and he said my previous manager said I wasn't a part of the company anymore and to terminate my badge access ID but I told them I was now a PA in the IDI and showed them my new credentials they reluctantly allowed me access to my work areas the next week I am pulled aside by my new boss he asks me how everything is going and if I can swing by his office after my shift I tell him yeah thinking it's gonna be a check-up on how the new job is going my shift ends and I go to my new bosses office he asks me why he is hearing so many negative things about me I asked him what he means and he tells me I have had three formal complaints filed against me I asked him if I can see them and he pulls them up on his computer the first one is about unprofessionalism in the workplace I asked him he filed it and he said it would be better if he kept it anonymous because the second complaints was about workplace violence the third complaint was a HIPAA violation claim I was taken aback because the first two complaints came from 2017 when I was in my original Department the third complaint was when I went to clean out my previous locker and I was now this is verbatim in a secure location where he sought out potential information about patients it was the break room that doubled as our locker room I was only in there for five minutes to clean out my locker I went to HR because all of these are serious allegations and they told me all three complaints were made by my former manager I was upset that all this was happening and there was basically nothing that I can do HR conducted a formal investigation on me and found nothing to be out of place a few weeks later my new boss had a sit-down with my previous manager where she told him she will stop at nothing until I am fired and he is the most lazy and unprofessional worker in this entire establishments I went to HR to file a complaint about her and potential harassment HR told me they are unable to file my complaints because I am under review for corrective action and a manager would never do anything like that so I should just drop it while I am ahead about a week later I passed my old manager and she called me out and said well I'm surprised you're still here I wouldn't want to provide her taking care of me with your reputation in a hallway full of patients nurses doctors and visitors I tried to schedule a meeting with her to talk but she said there was nothing to talk about and my actions are reprehensible and soon enough I would be where I belong out the doors I heard from my boss that she has been scheduling meetings with higher-ups about me and my boss doesn't know if it's going to work if this drama continues I don't know what I should do because I have done nothing but displayed the utmost respect for her she is just hell bent on ruining my career at the facility and any other place I try to move to is there any action I should be taking right now I feel like I should retain a lawyer and send a cease and desist letter because her actions are false claims and could be damaging to my future any advice would be greatly appreciated your hospital has to have a compliance departments they should also be an ethics hotline that usually handled by compliance not HR or call your compliance officer directly if you don't want to report anonymously the hospital should not only have a code of conduct but a non retaliation policy read those policies they are usually not HR policies and a dealt with through compliance since there is also a HIPAA violation accusation that would be through compliance as well compliance should have been notified of any reported HIPAA violation and investigated obviously reporting this to HR has not helped time to report this further I will look into the compliance department and we do have an ethics board that individuals have hearings in front of after certain Hospital violations I will also have to pull our code of conduct up as well I know our rule book has like 300 pages of legal jargon I'm sure I can find stuff in there now after she said all this crap in front of all those people / Ilyas all replies as a manager myself whatever legit or non legit beef she has with you this is over the line and should be reported in the future as others have said document everything also I've had success with getting people to shut the hell up by simply asking them to repeat their snarkiness in front of someone else or put it in an email there's only one reason you want to witness or written record and she knows it I will try that I was very taken aback by the comments and didn't know how to respond in the moment in hindsight's right then and there it would have been great to loudly turn to her and say all right everyone who is witness to what just happens if you don't mind I would like to collect your contact information for when I submit a complaints about the incredible display of unprofessionalism we have just witnessed then ignore her and go about collecting information from anyone willing to help it sounds as if you may have been a bit of a pushover when it came to covering for everyone else while you're a full-time students and she knows that but if she sees that you're not going to be walked over and actively taking steps to undermined her [ __ ] she may back off if she does however do not relent if they completely closed the case and she leaves you alone sure don't continue to pursue it but even if she backs off now you still need to drop the phrase hostile work environments to HR or whoever else if you can get her fired as part of that investigation it is I think in your best interest to do so if she isn't fired you may need to consider working somewhere else because who knows if she'll ever stop I am NOT a lawyer one thing you didn't mention is if there were three complaints about you from 2017 why weren't they handled then your old boss waiting until you leave her departments to make complaints against you really seems like retaliation if she backdated them or made them at that time of the incidents not addressing them with you at the time seems like a failure of leadership your old boss could claim that they just came to her attention but she should have to back that claim up with some evidence to complaints were from 2017 and the HIPAA claim was from 2018 which was after I started in the IDI complaints are handled by managers digression and if it seems like no action needs to be taken then it can be disregarded managers can also review past complaints if new ones come up and then decide if they need to pursue action or previous complaints basically use them for grounds of termination and in the post they didn't edit to share some more information on the situation first my manager was well aware two and a half years before I left that as soon as I was done with school I would be moving on fairly quickly she was very supportive at that time and understood because there are a lot of college kids who work in the departments while they are in school my last full year in school we my manager myself the other afternoon leader the two night time shift leaders and the weekend leaders sat down to choose another lead one of the night time people wanted my position which my manager agreed to we also took applications from department workers to fill the now open nighttime lead position and filled it a full before I would have been done with school my two months were proved by HR and then by my manager we have to have double approval she said this was wonderful because she could rotate her new crew in as I had been reeling back my duties the new nighttime leader was originally on my shift and he had gradually been picking up my work / my managers request to train in the leadership role which he has excelled at my manager knew that I hadn't been home in almost five years and that I really needed a break because in those five years I had a full week off for sickness and a handful of random days here and there most of the time I was at work didn't have a social life and that's okay I was a grad student didn't really need one I missed out on a lot of things because I was willing to put in 60 plus hours a week when I went on my vacation I was not expecting to get a new position but my manager was aware that my application was out and that I could get a call that I could not turn down also when I did put my 30-day notice in I did call and talked with her I told her I was more than willing to start my 30 days when I returned but was told we already have replacements in line and that they are working out well so it wasn't necessary to delay my transfer I've done everything professionally and by the books I always conducted myself in the most professional manner I could while improving patient care we had replacements picked out a whole year before I left the two who took over are both in school and will be there for an extended period of time because the department works incredibly well with school schedules that is why I stayed so long and yes I said that to my friend because I genuinely didn't care at that point because I had multiple occasions for my managers to transfer so I wasn't so beat up about her being upset after I had to go in ahead and leave I would love you to respond again because I do agree with what you have to say and any insight is perfectly valid and wanted right that was a lot I'm gonna just guess that it went well for ope it seems like they got all the information they needed and we can all just guess they went ahead and reported that and got some legal representation as you'd hope all right since now we have three posts by a user life guy spanning four years first one's titled former employer harassing me ensuing with frivolous accusations I have proved to demolish his complaints but no money for counter suits so I have worked with this company for over 12 years last six years remote work from home it's a small insurance agency with five employees and a couple hundred and independent agents at the time of departure they is eventually I became a clear employee responsible with training other employees and independent agents managing day-to-day operations IT and marketing duties he was telling everyone to contact me for everything while he was out of the office even introducing me as his right-hand man and got a key man insurance policy on me beneficiary being his business trouble started when the former employer began employing his own family members or friends I had a hard time training them and getting them to be productive because they were there for a paycheck and not hired due to their skills experience or work ethic the last straw was when he hired this 17 year old daughter of his ex-girlfriend's not his daughter who didn't even have the time to get trained or show up juda her school schedule I confronted my former boss asking him to explain the last hire because now we don't have room for an advertising budgets he basically told me that it's his business and his money and he can do whatever he wants after this incident he became more secretive and while I went on vacation he started changing the passwords to business accounts that I used to have access to during this process he also changed passwords to some of my personal accounts including LinkedIn and hosting accounts for some of my family or friends domain names and websites which did not belong to him or his business not sure if he initially did that by mistake or on purpose to use his leverage tools against me he initially denied any wrongdoing but then refused to return any accounts I presented my resignation citing the unfair hiring procedures removal of my personal property without my consent or knowledge still offering to train my successor is needed but only after he returns my person passwords at this point he admitted to changing my passwords by the way I never had any secrets and my former boss knew all my personal details to be able to reset my passwords he basically said he won't pay my last pay period salary or return my personal accounts until I return his computers and equipment with information and databases intact in the following week I returned everything took screenshots of files and folders to prove they were intact at the time of shipping took pictures and FedEx and kept tracking numbers after he refused again to pay my last paycheck or to return my accounts I went directly to the service providers and successfully proved that I was the rightful owner of the domains and the accounts and three weeks later I finally regained access to my domains I even gave up on the money to be able to focus on starting my own business however a week later I got served former boss suing for seventy-five thousand in damages due to alleged theft of data equipments and computers supposedly were not returned although FedEx shows he signed for them unfair competition also stealing his trade secrets and look and feel of his web sites which cannot be further from the truth and easily proven by a simple comparison the trade secrets he claims of just databases which have freely downloadable online by anyone with a browser and internet connection who knows where to look so I hired a lawyer and provided proof to demolish all of his accusations his lawyers initially mentioned his settlement agreement to avoid further expenses for both parties but for two weeks they haven't came back with any agreement proposal in the meantime it has come to my attention that the former employer is using this lawsuits as a tool against me by emailing all insurance companies about the litigation and to warn them not to work with me or to terminate my contracts I have a copy of such email but the recipient doesn't want to be involved and just sent me a copy of said email with their name edited / blacked out some insurance companies refused to grant me a contract due to these emails that he's sending I know I have a good case to count to sue but I can't afford that at moments my lawyer won't help me sue on contingency basis another detail worth mentioning he sued me in Louisiana I'm in Florida is he strolling to let the clock run and force me to show up in Louisiana courts versus getting an agreement and retracting the lawsuits sorry for the wall of text in possibly typos I'm on my phone not a lawyer and I know this isn't the focus of this thread but technically you should have received the last paycheck within 15 days under Louisiana law even taking into account you're not returning equipments not returning equipment doesn't mean they can withhold generally also check your non-compete agreement and your employment agreements it's likely that it's unenforceable if a region is not specified there was never any employment agreements or non-compete his hiring process was always sloppy with no contract whatsoever just verbal agreements you are probably good to go then it's pretty hard to prove verbal agreements I would check your emails and potentially look into if you can get any of your industry contacts to see if you can get material for a defamation case it seems like he's out to ruin your professional reputation but once again not a lawyer when did you hatch this plan to start your own company when I realized that he doesn't respect my advice after the last hire of the 17-year old but I didn't do anything about it until after I quit during this process he also changed the passwords I couldn't reset my own passwords this is so not okay there is so much wrong with this personal accounts are just that personal there's zero reason for your boss to have any access to your personal accounts never give out your password you mentioned you regained access but I sincerely hope that you have changed all your passwords and used strong 8 plus character passwords and not given out this information to err anyone else the whole point of passwords and security questions is to prove that you are you you were defeating the entire points by giving out that information to others I did not give out my info he used the info that he had on me from insurance policies my mother's maiden name and the college I attended and other info from knowing me for 12 years to reset my passwords well that's good to hear it sounds like what he did was definitely illegal there all right and our next post former boss sued for copyrights saying my website looks and feels copied his websites mine is older than his Wayback Machine can prove it still lost in courts any chance to appeal without a lawyer I worked with the same employer for over thirteen years in marketing then recruiting and training last year things went sour and I quit being paranoid that he forgot to have me silent no competes and knowing what I could accomplish having my own business former boss sued me threatening to bury me in legal fees his claims are all false and can easily be proven one claim is that I stole the look and feel of his web site or web sites to build my website / blog and confuse and steal his clients a simple look at both websites disproves the claim archive.org wayback machine shows that my web site is older than his and while my web site always had the same design in colors his constantly changed as far as colors design logo etc due to the fact that he also sued my LLC I that I formed last year and also dissolved the same year but could not afford a lawyer the court considered that the LLC lost by default because I could not represent the LLC in courts as a non attorney in the court order for defaults and there is an injunction for using my personal website / blog by any of the LLC's directors owners etc websites which actually never belonged to the LLC and it was purchased and active long before the LLC was in existence the lawsuit continues between myself and former employer and I have filed a countersuit wages now in the discovery phase how can a court grant a court order against my LLC based on false claims forcing me to stop using my personal blog that never belonged to the LLC and all claims of easily verifiable as being false by a simple Google search any advice would be greatly appreciated lawsuit in Louisiana federal courts I live in Florida PS I can't afford a lawyer Judah former employers campaign of libel and slander using this frivolous lawsuit to make companies refuse working with me I've been quiet about this for a year but I figured I have nothing else to lose and if anyone can help with an idea any advice is welcome the personal blog is currently my only source of little income that I currently make they can do it because they made a default judgment against you since you failed to show up for courts also probably because your former boss asked for that injunction to be put in place in order to stop this supposed infringement on his websites but the lawsuit continues between him and myself I personally answered and also countersued the LLC never owned my personal blog it's like asking Samsung to take that google.com website down because it infringed on Apple not really you had a very similar style and format on your websites and the judge agreed with the plaintiff it's not at all what you were describing above the default was against the LLC not myself website in question never belongs to the LLC but was included in default court order against LLC the lawsuit continues however between them and myself there is nothing decided or proven yet by either side court order includes wrong information forcing me to take down personal property that had never anything to do with the LLC my problem is with the fact that while the lawsuit continues between former employer and myself the judge included wrong info in a court order against LLC it's a complicated situation if he can afford a lawyer and you can't you're going to continue to get raked over the coals you'll probably need a lawyer to sort this out and since it's already happened it'll be more expensive than hiring one in the first place to squash it get everything together and get a consult from a lawyer get an estimation for how much a defense will cost then make a decision on how to proceed depending on the situation and how it will impact your future livelihood this may be one of those situations where you can't afford to not to get a lawyer I initially had a lawyer and raked over $5,000 in legal fees the first three weeks that was fourteen months ago when I decided I can't afford to continue at that pace and will have to defend myself other lawyers have asked for 10 to $15,000 retainer to even look at my case I thought I did okay by myself so far with the exception that I could not defend the LLC no lawyer out of those I contacted there were many would represent me only in a limited manner they all asked for a huge retainer I could not secure a lawyer on contingency because I'm the one being sued even though I countersued do you have this in writing when he said bury me in legal fees yes in an email all documented and printed ready to show in court there was no court date yet since just now doing discovery I was hoping to get a chance to prove all of these accusations against myself or false and then by association all accusations against the LLC would be false as well but his lawyer asked for default against LLC before I was able to make my case I'm still confused how it dissolved LLC can earn anything worth suing over he just wants to show that whatever I decide to do in my future career he will try to squash it just because he can afford good lawyers and now updates I won my case against former employer without a lawyer it's been almost three years I want to thank the community for the direction slash advice updates in May 2015 I resigned from a thirteen year job due to harassment caused by a new employee cousin of the business owner former employee realized he didn't happen non-compete and in hoping to keep me away filed a frivolous lawsuit filled by his cousin's lies about me I initially hired a lawyer and after the first month's legal fees costs of over six thousand dollars I realized I could not afford a lawyer and defended pro se I made mistakes but in the end I survived the almost three years since this crab storm started and finally got the case dismissed I feel like a huge weight has been lifted I'm bruised and broke but you should see the other guy I know he spent over one hundred and fifty thousand dollars in legal fees alone edits case was in federal court Louisiana headed to since the update threads are locked by defaults I'm going to add here my advice for others in similar situations since it appears to be a common question in the pms that I'm getting first look really hard into getting a lawyer even if only for initial settlement negotiations a lawyer may get your case dismissed in the incipient phase the initial month they used a lawyer gave me the general direction that I followed after it helped me discover some of the tools I needed to use later unfortunately my former employer got stubborn and it became a peeing contest things I've learned and I recommend read download the Rules of Civil Procedure and the court local rules do not let deadlines pass better file something incorrectly than not file when an answer or action is expected of you you will have the chance to fix errors later have a witness or witnesses willing to write a declaration stating that your version is correct use affidavits / declarations to get your evidence admitted also read the rules of evidence submit subpoenas and take depositions this is what ultimately helped me good luck ol neighbor is crap bombing my front yard so my neighbor is crap bombing my front yard a new neighbor bought a house across the street about six months ago a few weeks back I was working in the garage when I saw him take his dog directly across the street into my front yard he let it pee in my yard and then walked straight home he didn't notice me my garage is set up as a shop and is pretty busy and the garage door is up a Lots but this piqued my interest because it's goddamn weird now my wife and I have a dog so therefore there are a few dog droppings from her that we pick up on a regular basis my wife had been doing the duty duty recently so I asked her if there are any more piles than normal sure enough she said there had been a ton for a while she figured it was jerks walking their dogs and letting them crap in our lawn I figured it was our new weird neighbor it happened again around a week later I was in the garage as neighbor took his dog into our lawn this time the dog dropped a deuce and he started to walk away without picking it up I called out to him asking if he needs a plastic bag to pick up after his dog and he avoided eye contact and scurried back home I went across the street and knocked on his door he didn't answer we set up a security camera to discreetly watch the front lawn and I kept an eye out for when he was next out in his yard so I could talk to him I reviewed the footage over the next few days and sure enough he was consistently walking his dog to do the deed in our yard why our yard no clue we've never had any interaction with this guy whatsoever the next time I saw him walking to his car I confronted him I simply told him that I knew that he was taking his dog to crap in our yard and if I caught him doing it again I'd call the police to report him for trespassing he denied doing it claiming it must be other neighbors got in his car and drove away with me standing in his driveway sir I reviewed the footage from the last few days dude is not walking his dog into my yard anymore he is letting the dog crap in his yard he then scoops it up walks across the street and tosses it into my yard with a shovel what the absolute hell how do I even begin handling this now I'm not a lawyer do what everyone here said call the police get a lawyer etc but I wanted to add don't warn him don't confront him and tell him you're sick of it and you're making good on your threat to call the police blindside him so he's not suspecting it when they arrive it's not like there's much he could do anyway considering you have video evidence but it's still better not to warn him I still think it would be good to get footage trying to ask nicely for it to stop this proves you did your part in taking care of the situation with the civil means never grief back it could go against you in a court of law not to mention if he realizes Opie is videotaping his attempt to nicely stop this it might finally make the guy think I hope he doesn't though and Opie gets his camera equipment paid for pretty light to take on a pet when you already know it won't clean up after them probably putting it in his yard because the neighbor went so far is to find out who else has a dog and cleans up after it oh hey look these people got a dog and they like picking up poo well I'll just toss it into their yard honey problem solved yet no it don't work that way put it in writing if the surveillance footage has no audio then simply recording you speaking to him will not hold up in courts agreed footage is fine a strongly worded letter is better this is a perfect opportunity for you to fire back at your crap bombing neighbor with a legal ICBM specifically see Idaho statue eight-six - OH - this is textbook civil trespass and you are entitled to statutory relief of the greater of $500 and actual damages plus attorneys fees and reimbursement for your costs of figuring out it's him so go hire a lawyer have fun reimbursements of costs for figuring out it was him so the security camera could be paid for if the judge sees it that way possibly yes if it was acquired specifically to undertake the investigation then pretty much a slam dunk dude pick the wrong state to fling poo different jurisdictions react differently but you might be able to apply your time to the damages as well time installing cameras procuring them maybe even time spent identifying what products would suit your needs to catch him or putting the legwork to stake out the location and discuss it with your wife if that took any significant portion of time some places look down on this as nickel-and-diming even if you can demonstrate its accuracy other places might get a justice burner because crap heads shouldn't go out of their way to put themselves in the wrong side of the law and this guy is begging to be reamed option 1 you take the video to small claims and ask for the $5,000 the statutory limit for vandalism pain and suffering you'll get it and he'll be embarrassed as hell option 2 if you live in a one-party consent state or if it's not illegal for you to record other folks with your cameras you can post it on next door and ask does anyone know this person option 3 take the video to the police and press criminal charges for vandalism and trespassing option 4 all of the above now this is at the top of the post by the original post our update I'll be sure to post updates so please stop peeing me or applying to my comments and post history outside of this sub asking me to do so or suggesting i crap pom them back my wife noted that we think might be his kid comes around most weekends in the interests of remaining neighborly and with the possibility of neighbor dude might be losing his mind we're going to talk with them before lawyering up or involving the fuzz updates forthcoming and now posted a week ago long overdue updates neighbor is crap bombing my front yard hi everyone remember me I sure forgot about you but not intentionally please accept my sincerest apologies my wife and I have been on all sorts of adventures moving out of the states living in an RV with too many cats a meth crazed former friend going on a rampage and delirious dad dementia drama it has been a wild ride you can thank everyone's new best body curve at nineteen for providing me with the time aka being in quarantine to remember to get on this a shout-out goes to a couple of to remain unnamed redditors for poking at me to finally updates the crap bombings neighbor situation ended up having a different resolution than we could have ever imagined as you may or may not remember we were planning on talking to his kids the next time someone rolled around we pounced talking to his son it turns out they suspected old turd tosser was suffering from early onset dementia that led to a well hell kind of moments where some people get all loopy and nice or just shut down altogether crap canon turned into a grade-a jerk I could relate completely my father also suffers from dementia just like feces flinger he was gone enough to be a huge bloody nuisance for anyone unfortunate enough to be around him but not far enough for the kids to get guardianship just like us they were waiting for the crap to hit the fan pun intended so the authorities would step in an evaluation could be done and they might get some legal leverage on the Dookie dumping daddy's bad behavior so we set up a camera on that part of our yard and waited until he did it again he never dumped up in the yard again we're guessing the son talked to him but he did take his dog over to drop a deuce in our yard evidence in hint we called the police kept it to just the facts thanks Joey Friday and I hoped that they'd do something they talked to the crap Shoveler he promised to knock it off and you know what he actually stopped we moved shortly thereafter and heard a few months later from the new tenants they're friends of ours the his property is for sale I'm guessing the kids finally got him the help he needs everyone hug now happy ending here's an interesting one bye muted stress I twenty three female had sex with a 17 year old he told me he was 19 he took a video of us having sex with my consent and is threatening to share it what can I do we met on tinder in December and started seeing each other in January we have slept together a handful of times I decided it would be best to stop seeing each other around the start of the last month when they started telling people to stay away from each other and fast he was really understanding but over the past couple of weeks he's been pushing to see me more I kept trying to make plans to see him once everything has calmed down but he's been insisting on coming over to my place despite everything yesterday I finally put my foot down and let him know that we wouldn't be meeting now or later since I didn't like how pushy he was being he called me and we got into it because I wouldn't let him come over once we hung up he snapped me a video of us having sex in his bloody car I don't even know when he took it it's dark so you can't really see me but it's clearly my voice on the video he wrote that I would either let him come over or he'd send me the video to my boss and tell his mom because he's 17 I told him I was out of town because my sister had a baby which is true but he could come over when I got back I was afraid if I told him no straight up that he would send the video I did not know he was 17 I never would have slept with him I have screenshots of his tinder profile where his age is clearly listed as 19 I don't have a facebook so we never were friends on there but I do have his instant and snapchat and nothing of those indicates that he's 17 I keep thinking about over all of our interactions but even in text messages he doesn't say anything to indicate he was in high school he told me he went to a local Community College he talks about college classes and getting off his job at HEB anyway it's not like we had long conversations our relationship consisted of having sex and maybe getting dinner beforehand please help me I've been freaking out about this for several hours I work with kids right now and I'm in school to be a school social worker I can't have this on my record I know I should probably go to the cops but how can I do that to make sure nothing comes out of this the age of consent is 17 in Texas the sex was legal the video is not he is violating child pornography laws as long as you don't have or distribute a copy of the video you aren't breaking any laws do you think going straight to the cops would work or should I get a lawyer involved I went to tell someone what he's doing if only so he won't try to do it to someone else his mother should definitely be aware but I don't know where he lives sir I can't just go tell her myself assuming he even lives with her plus I'm afraid that if I don't say anything he'll email the video to my boss who will probably fire me because he's under 18 since I work with at-risk youth I'm really worried about what he could do to my name and my career thanks so much for your help at this point I would contact a lawyer who will actually walk towards your best interests to protect your career you've been working so hard to once this kid needs to be scared straight so he doesn't pull this manipulative bull crap again this is no longer DIY territory you need to get a lawyer involved ASAP to handle this he will advise you on what to do next which may or may not involve the police don't go to the police they are not here to protect you lawyer up god I can get behind that comment that's a good comment only and I'm gonna say that only because my mom's lawyer and she's repeated that many times throughout my life and I've had run-ins with the police and in my experiences with them that definitely rings true lawyer up don't go to the police look you need to take a lot of deep breaths entire a lawyer I would recommend somebody who has a practice that specializes in defamation you haven't committed a crime ironically he has committed at least three manufacturer of child pornography revenge porn and extortion but as you point out for whatever reason this person is trying to screw up your future career which in deep breath probably won't happen nonetheless you need to consult a professional who can really put the screws into him and get the video deleted and an injunction of some sorts the law is very much on your side here but I would highly recommend going on the offensive here with the assistance of an attorney and what would you know guys you don't need to get the pitchforks and flaming sticks update the 17 year old is actually 19 long story short following everyone's advice I reached out to an attorney who advised me to begin compiling records of my communication with him and to record any communication we had going forward she told me to avoid reaching out to him but to be prepared if he reached out to me I downloaded a call recording app and started backing up my screenshots of our texts and messages he didn't match me on tinder so thank you to everyone that warned me our conversations would go away he didn't say sir but I think he may have seen my reddit post I only say that because I know he made the front page and last night he called me out of the blue to apologize and asked me not to call the police so either he saw it or he had a come-to-jesus moments he told me that he is 19 and that he only said that he was 17 to scare me since I was being a [ __ ] and wouldn't let him come over when I told him to prove his age or I'd call the cops he texted me a picture of his ID he also says that it isn't me on the video but that he deleted it anyway I'm not sure if this is the truth but I've got a recorded confession so that's something I have not spoken to the attorney since he called me but I did email her with the transcript and recording of our conversation we have a meeting scheduled for tomorrow I'm still going to be seeking legal action I'm not sure what action since his ID does says that he is 19 in the case there was no CP although I know there's still a case for sextortion I don't think it would be wise to continue up the situation on reddit's if he's here to so this will probably be the last thing that I post about it Thanks to everyone that has messaged me to be supportive I really appreciate it I can't respond to everyone because between PM's and chats I'm sitting on 300 plus messages about that post funnily enough a nice chunk of them are from men calling me a pedophile saying they hope I get raped since I'm such a [ __ ] trying to figure out where in Texas I am so we can hook up etc this man tried to coerce me into having sex with him via blackmail and I'm the one getting blamed because I had sex with someone I believed was an adults from this point on I'll only be seeing men my age or older and I deem everyone according to the attorney the fact that he looked old enough wasn't an excuse this might sound dramatic but for most of yesterday I really thought my life was over never again alright that was an interesting one and next one is posted by user through our Akers Chicago de beber titled my 25 female mum 45 female is part of a church group that is doing something that makes me uncomfortable to the point where I no longer want to see my mom title is purposefully a little vague so I can give a warning this post deals quite a bit with hate symbols and may make some people uncomfortable throw away because I don't want any part of this to be associated with me my mom has been a part of a church group for years recently they started a campaign called take back the swastika which is basically what it sounds like their goal is to basically associate the swastika with their church or charity group so people stop associating it with something bad I think this is ridiculously naive they have had necklaces and t-shirts made into organizing a bake sale I earn a small bakery small like two employees and mainly do wedding cakes my business is still new like less than six months old and the church offered to pay me to make 400 cupcakes with the swastika on its indited night because I don't want my business associated with that my mom got me a necklace for my birthday a week ago and when I throw it away she said I was letting hate Way I have talked to her about how uncomfortable this makes me and she dismisses it saying I shouldn't care what people think my mom has never been a bad person and I do love her but this whole campaign makes me uncomfortable I feel like it is disrespectful rude and frankly just a really bloody bad idea so far the movement is really small but I want to be clear of it before it becomes bigger the church doesn't even use the swastika as a religious symbol of anything any advice is welcome advice because I am lost I really do love my mother but I think she is making a really bad choice in pursuing this is there any way to distance myself from this without losing my entire relationship with my mother edits and many updates so today I made the decision to not sit around and do nothing I googled local synagogues in case there were any nearby and it turns out there were like five and my mom's neighborhood alone sir I called each one and asked to meet with a rabbi I was able to meet with 4 out of 5 today alone I figured that they at least deserve warning in case it turns out to be something more sinister than an ignorant church group I was immediately rushed out of the first - they wanted nothing to do with me after I'd told them what was going on which I understand I really hope they didn't see me as threatening and I kinda regret going a little bit's I was halfway done though and I decided just to stick it out the last two was so understanding it was a little bit painful they said they appreciated the warning and one of the rabbi's mentioned he was going to get in contact with the head of the church the whole thing gave me so much anxiety and I am really hoping everything turns out ok I'm thinking that I may donate some cupcakes to the synagogue's children's group if they have something like that I don't actually know if they want them I sent my mom a long message about how I felt about the whole thing I basically said that I have seen enough and know enough to not be able to condemn what's happening if she ever decides to stop with the movements then she might be able to work on our relationship but until then she is not welcome in my home or my shop I have yet to hear back but I honestly am not sure I expect to in the past iein donated cupcakes to the church group for some of their other fundraisers such as raising money to update the local library or supporting arts and music in schools but basically after a whole bunch of nonsense I had gone to talk with the Reverend about how bloody stupid the whole campaign was which was a huge mistake after I talked to him he updated the church's website to say thanks to bakery name for her continued support of our charities I only found out after the whole Nazi church group got a whole lot of justified hate from our community since then I have arrived at my bakery to find the word nazi' written in spray paints I got security cameras hired a lawyer let go of my only employee so she didn't get caught up in the haze my lawyer has been working his ass off trying to get my name removed from the church websites the problem is that this whole Nazi church group is getting big and don't worry it will soon be on national news 90% of my business is from out of town wedding cakes mostly and if the story makes national news I am worried my bakery will be dragged through the mud when I have done everything to distance myself from the insanity that is the Nazi Church including not talking to my mother I want to know if there are any complications from potentially suing a church maybe for defamation or libel or maybe for loss of business if this goes bigger and they are still refusing to remove my bakery name from their websites of course I will bring everything up with my lawyer if this is the way I decide to go but I want to know any complications beforehand churches are not exempt from lawsuits in any way they have damaged your business in a measurable way and there is definite grounds for a lawsuit I agree with others that you want to hire someone to release the statements stating that you do not support their actions or their beliefs and anything said to the contrary is utterly false sorry you have to deal with such a mess if they said something false that damages you or your business on their website you could certainly sue for libel is the statement false as long as you make it clear that you don't and aren't going to continue to support their charitable efforts I think it is there's no law against suing a church do you have any doubts about the way your lawyer is handling this that said you may also want to engage a public if this does become national or even regional news having a publicist ready to help you tell your side of the story is importance you are a victim of their craziness explaining that to reporters is something that a good publicist should be able to do so far my lawyer has been helpful he has always gotten results which is importance but I find him very hard to understand so I wanted to know any possible complications before I brought it up with him I have never heard of someone trying to sue a church before a PR representative is a great idea that I will definitely be looking into there if you aren't following what your lawyer is saying he may just need to break things down a bit more ask him to explain it in plain English some lawyers just never learned to communicate with their clients properly and letting him know it's an issue might help when in a conference with your lawyer you might ask if you can record your meeting that way instead of having your attention diverted by unknown words you can stay in the conversation every profession has its own lexicon and now on to the big chunky boy updates updates by 25 female mum 45 female is part of a church group that is doing something that makes me feel uncomfortable to the point where I no longer want to see my mom so I sent my mom a long message about how I felt about the whole thing I basically said that I had seen enough and nirn enough to not be able to condemn what is happening if she ever decides to stop with the movement then we might be able to work on our relationship but until then she is not welcome in my home or my shop I still have yet to hear back but I honestly am not sure I expect to I also decided to talk to the Reverend of my mom's church in a public setting because he freaks me out since they decided to start this whole thing he gave me the whole letting hate win speech I gave up then they linked and thanked my bakery on their websites I never gave them the cupcakes they wanted for their Nazi bake sale but it doesn't matter because their website basically says I did not outright but it literally says thanks to the bakery name for her continued support of our charities with a link to my bakery websites then the bring back the swastika campaign kind of blew up in my city and not in a good way the church has been getting a ton of hates totally justified hates and my association my bakery has to three times in the past couple months I have had nazi spray-painted across my bakery my bakery has only been open for eight months and there is already a real possibility of me losing it's because of my mother's choices I feel like I made all the right choices and I'm still the one getting screwed over I haven't talked to my mother in months and they honestly don't intend to the longer it goes on the more it seems like malicious instead of just ignorance otherwise why continue the campaign after the amount of hate a God's so yeah that's my updates I expect any other future updates will be in the news soon I have an idea but it can backfire assuming that you don't want to post anything associated with this movement you can do the contrary you can have a donation party or some other charity events reach out for the help to the local synagogues the ones who listen to you then post about it on the internet pages of your bakery but events like this can bring some unwanted attention to the topic and your relations with that church group may come up but you can do some preparations for it anyway because of the national news involvement in the future also try talking with the rabbi's the last two you are not Jewish but you showed good intentions before and maybe one of them would help you to cope with this problem I wish you all the best I was honestly thinking of doing a buy a cupcake to support a local synagogue thing but I am so scared of everything right now I don't want to do a fundraiser for a synagogue without their supports but I worry about bringing extra attention to them when there is a literal Nazi church group a couple of blocks away I am worried I will lose my bakery I am worried about retaliation from the Nazi church group I'm honestly so scared to make any type of action because I can't stop thinking of worst-case scenarios I feel like I have done everything right so far and it went so wrong yes you did everything right but it didn't went wrong because of you you are not accountable for other people's actions I don't want to do a fundraiser for a synagogue without their supports that's why you need to talk to one of the rabbis they can help you in different ways they can listen to you offer some emotional supports don't bother about extra attention staying low is not an option in times like this but contact them beforehand to coordinate any activities yes that church group sounds insane but if they will try to take direct actions against synagogues and people who are supporting synagogues then it will be 100 percent Nazi and everyone will understand that so they won't do it wow that's awful I'd cut my mum off and make it public on a bakery Facebook page if scrutiny comes you'll appear proactive not reactive which might boost business maybe good luck and stick to your principles and intuition aside I feel like this belongs in our / Nazi Renaissance if there is such a sub I'm worried about posting on Facebook when 90% of my business is from outside the city right now the craziness is basically contained to my city if I post a Facebook there is a real possibility I could lose a lot of business well that's um that's uh it's not a good situation that one but I hope it sorts itself out anyway guys we're on to our last parts to the day by legal throw out to 999 the seven titled SC RA keeps interrupting sex because I'm gay hi legal advice every time I have my boyfriend over without fail the RA who was one of my roommates will start banging on the door and telling us to stop tonight we were doing homework but he still started banging on the door after 20 minutes now if he were enforcing a no sex policy I'd be peeved but we could go somewhere else but occasionally he'll have girls over and he seems to be as loud as he possibly can as if he's trying to show off I've tried telling him to knock it off but he tells me to go [ __ ] off or he'll get me kicked off campus is this legal I feel like this is discrimination talk to his boss about what he's doing usually give the title residential director and if his boss doesn't do anything go complain to HR about how their employee is conducting themselves the RA is an employee of the school and if you bring up this guy's conduct to his chain of command you will quickly get an answer okay I'll do that tomorrow after my morning classes hi I used to work in res life I was a residence manager if I found out one of my staff was doing this I would be livid please speak to them ASAP and tell them specifically that you feel it's because of your sexuality we generally have no patience for this crap I'm sorry this is happening to you once upon a time Opie would have been [ __ ] out of luck because of their sexuality but now it should cause the administration to sit up and take notice failing to do so could result in all kinds of negative consequences for the school social reputation legal financial just to name a few and now on to our update our rain keeps interrupting sex because I am gay I've got good news the RA has been removed I went to the residents coordinator and he called someone above him in the housing departments who told us to write down every incident I remember for housing to review then go to the title nine coordinator it took them a while to get through all the paperwork but the process was a lot less intimidating than I thought it would be the RA was fired and given the option of either moving to an empty room in one of the old dorms or moving off campus within 30 days he chose to move out and stay with his girlfriend after a week which I didn't realize he had since I've seen other women come into his room but I don't feel like staring that point after I've made the reports he stopped banging on the door when my boyfriend was over but every time he saw me I could feel him staring daggers into me he also started doing petty stuff like accidentally knocking my towel onto the floor of the shower room and just leaving it there he left me an apology letter at one point but it was definitely not sincere I could have moved to another dorm temporarily but I decided it would be too much work because they gave him a 30-day deadline and he started packing the Tuesday after yesterday the new RA finished moving in and after talking to him about all that happens I think we're going to get along just fine the residents coordinator said that housing had done all they could do any further action would be done as a result of the title nine complaints which might take several months to complete for those wondering yes it is a public college and there is no no sex policy I looked through the housing contract and couldn't find anything except rules against sexual assaults and discrimination based on sexual orientation I should have said that in the original post but it blew up and was locked by the time I saw those comments thanks legal advice as a child who didn't see one parent because the other parent stole them despite custody orders in place have to repay that time debt after age eighteen oregan posting anonymously because I think I know the answer but feel like an idiot asking anyway I hope I described this clearly my parents split when I was very young in Ted shared custody about 5050 at the time my mother ran off with me to Canada not long after but cancer took her when I was fifteen I was taken back to my father and was always told because I was away from him for eight years but he had 50/50 custody then I had to repay that tyne debt for four years after I turned 18 I took it is just how things are there was a letter from dad's lawyer that I haven't been able to find that I had when I came back to him pointing out I would be a minor until after I turned 22 and a few months I'm not allowed to leave her much except to work dad gets all of my money to support me I'm not allowed to see guys I'm not allowed a car and it seems really unfair to me and nobody else my age is in this situation does any of this seem legally real the more people I talk to her the more it seems my dad has me under a big coin but I'd like to know for sure I know it might be trying to prove a negative but is there a link to a law I could use to show for sure either way since nobody has personal link yet here state laws fine Lord Ockham / Oregon / law legal ages laws dot html' there you go if you want to look up more information yourself important keywords illegal majority as opposed to being a minor adult financial independence ability to enter into contracts I'm sure there are more others have already given you plenty of advice regarding getting out of your current situation resources to help you if you're in danger etc it is perfectly legal for you to walk out of the door this minute and just keep on walking if you're not in immediate danger though I suggest that you plan your exit carefully and get your resources ahead of time your father sounds like he has no respect for your rights or privacy so it would follow that he might monitor your phone and computer use such a room looking a purse diary whatever please be very careful to keep your preparations a secret from him because such a controlling man would be much easier to get away from if he were taken by surprise best of luck do the hard things because they're worthwhile in the end thank you so much that's what I was hoping for just a word can be a key to more information I know dad looks through my stuff but he is a technological vacuum that's something at least I asked about the technical thing to possibly offer some more advice as how to protect yourself did you use iMessage make sure he doesn't have your password as any texts sent between you and someone else may appear on other devices make sure if you are suspecting him being able to spy on you only discuss details of your escape while not on his wireless things like that if you have any questions about the technology portion of evading his overwatch please do make note of my username to message me I may not have all the answers but I have been a system admin for 10 years him being possibly highly technical adds a whole list of potential complications to your situation also contact the national domestic violence hotline they have trained counselors to help you in to resources by zip code do so anonymously from your library if you think he's tracking you this situation is insane you should add very least be operating this read account from an incognito or similar browser another user suggests walk into a police office this is not crime related Vayner staff speak to the nicest looking person sitting at a desk and say I have a complicated situation and need some advice can you help me that person will likely be able to lead you to resources that will help you including a possibly a pro bono free attorney the police are there to help the community as much as they are to fight crime they have seen this for they've seen everything and will know who to call how to get help etc you are a good person your smarts to ask questions and seek advice take some fatherly advice measure twice cut once as you go through this if you don't know the outcome of a given choice slash action measure it again you are in charge of the decision good people are nice but not all nice people are good presume the possibility that a new person is not good but give everyone the chance to prove it over time through their actions you are in charge of you legally if you obey the law nobody has the power to tell you what to do with your body time or possessions period dream is to vision is to plan is to become you can dream to do or be anything you want if you can get a vision of how you can do it pursue it from the vision make a plan to accomplish it stick to that plan and the dream will come true you likely don't have a lot of money but you have boatloads of time if you can't solve something with strength solve it with patience you can walk to Peru given enough time and patience and also a vision driven plan you got a bogus starting line for this race called life that's just a fact but you get to decide the finish line a kid's smart enough to check something like your original post is gonna succeed I already believe in you kid you have the moves it's obvious believe in yourself make good decisions and build the family you wish you had either traditionally with a spouse or through extended family with your community find joy peace and now we're on to our updates previous post a month ago over here I'm safe and I'm out I organized a place to stay with a co-worker I have new bank accounts and all my paperwork my dad has some regular sport meetings on Saturday that go for hours so I prepared everything the week before found where my paperwork was and walked out I have been approved for a rental and I moved there soon I contacted two police stations near us beforehand who both understood dad's nature straight away when I told them that he'd been telling me I couldn't move out because of a timed and they told me that it wasn't a thing I took copies of all of his paperwork too because while I was getting ready to move I found most of what I knew about my parents separating was a lie there was never a 50/50 custody agreements and my mother never ran off with me in violation to that my dad had been held for several domestic violence incidents when I was a child and he was only to see me on special holidays and only under strict supervision he's never been violent to me but in the papers he had hidden was evidence of a trust available to me when I'm 21 some of these specific whiting is it can go to me as an individual or to my carer if that is required I think my dad was trying to make himself up as my Cara without me knowing I did not find the letter I read when I was a kid for my dad's lawyer but like you all said that was probably fake after I moved out my dad did try to contact the police they came to my co-workers address because they had to but also let me know that yes my dad was trying to say I couldn't look after myself his words were that I was borderline invalid and being abused that's obviously not the word but invalid is along the same account you know I've been back to Canada to visit my aunts and uncle and found the auntie who was named to match my trust died a very soon after my mother we're still working out the details with a Canadian lawyer about some confusion over who handles what and how now but I have the full support of my remaining art and uncle who are the same great people I remember they were really worried about me when I went to live with my dad and it tried to contact me so many times thanks for all your help your comments gave me the confidence to act thanks reddit very cool all righty and our next post is by unexpected excit Katz titled employer serving food to public during pandemic has confirmed positive cases and not telling anyone we're in Texas my company is serving food to our local community at different locations throughout the city we come into contact with hundreds of people every day we are not provided with any MA and the foodservice gloves as PPE I had to borrow hand sanitizer from someone because our company would not provide it at one of our locations an employee's significant other tested positive for curve at 19 that employee was then asked to get tested they also came back positive this employee worked for two weeks preparing meals and serving the community while being infected my company has chosen to not tell anyone they finished out the week and then sent everyone home from that location for two weeks quarantine but didn't tell them why they have already hired a new staff to move to that location to take over next week the community doesn't know they were previously exposed the employees for the past two weeks don't know and the one person who does know was told she couldn't tell anyone she told me because she tells me everything and she was the site supervisor over there the company won't pay for her to get tested or anything I feel like the community and the employees need to know can I lose my job if I let health authorities and/or local news know what is going on what are my options you need to contact the health department's I am a certified Food Safety Manager instructor and Proctor through servsafe and I have managed many restaurants and that's all the legal advice that they got apparently updates I have filed an official complaint with oh Sh a new updates boss just sent an email out informing everyone that someone tested positive and that she's done everything according to the Health Department protocol she stated that the Health Department is now allowing her to share the information to everyone she still hasn't told anyone where it was and the public still has not been notified also since I posted this I have been quarantined for being symptomatic apparently due to the shortage of tests Here I am NOT in serious enough condition to get tested so I found out that I will not be getting paid because I did not test positive even though I cannot get tested I am losing my mind that sucks anyway on to the next post by the mix 669 108 titled all elevators in six-story apartment building broken due to negligence many elderly and disabled living in the building is their formal action I can take I sincerely apologize if this is the wrong sub just let me know as mentioned in the title my six-story apartment building currently only has stair access because both elevators are broken due to negligence they haven't worked properly in years new management's moved in four months ago and when addressed said they had no idea the elevators were in need of repair so it's not their fault or responsibility but an email sent a month after the management's purchase states that they plan on making much-needed upgrades to elevators in the future there are many elderly and disabled people on upper floors who were either stranded or extremely struggling to use stairs to exit or enter the building particularly bad given a pandemic management is releasing no updates but I called the servicing company and directly and they said it will take weeks is there anything that can be done to either force management to make accommodations for these people or to report the company for housing discrimination now that there are no accommodations for the elderly or disabled where is this located laws can vary a lot by location as well as recourse for example in NYC you should call 3-1-1 to reports Connecticut's if you can direct me to any sort of home websites I can look up the state's I'm just not sure where to start it's probably the Health Department for your city or county for example the Bridgeport health departments this is great information I'll try to find the most relevant health department to my area and try to find someone to talk to it may also be a violation of the fire code try the fire chief and someone else says I want you to be clear if it is a violation of the fire codes it's possible that the residents may be forced to move until the situation is corrected as an attorney who regularly handles matters like this I know you want a fast resolution but sometimes it's literally not possible the parts may not be available the repairmen may not be available but if there is a safety issue people may be forced to leave until it is safe be mindful of what you are asking for and the possible consequences maybe it's best that the building evacuates I don't know but just be aware that is a possibility this is very good advice this question may be stupid but does the management have any responsibility over backup accommodation in cases of necessary evacuation I don't see anything in my lease but I doubt it's a comprehensive enough documents to address these things laws like that is state by state I am NOT in your state so I don't know but there is just a reality that there is not always a way for a backup to exist in emergencies fire departments carry people down in high-rises people with disabilities are carried down elevators not working there's no slide while it is very frustrating every conceivable negative scenario cannot be avoided I work in an eight story building two elevators if they go out it's the stairs for everyone and there's an update in the post update thank you to everyone for this great advice with consideration of the comments below I don't think I'll take it upon myself to be the voice of a few hundred with my lack of legal knowledge however using the leads below I believe I have found the contact information for the most relevant town departments to address the concerns to and will circulate this information within my community so that those who were directly impacted from a health and safety standpoint have resources readily available I also will circulate the names office lines and emails of the property manager and her on-site employees this information is public just difficult to find that way when they nurse can't get the in-home dialysis machine up the stairs they have someone to call I hope that all sounds reasonable all right and our next post is by user Irish feet 78 titled I think my 12 year old daughter is being groomed on line W a state my 12 year old daughter got introduced to discord a chat app by a friend she has since been involved in some pretty explicit sexual roleplay with what I can only assume a grown man we have blocked all her access to the Internet at home she's given out our home number in the past the town we live in and her full name she has recently been given a cell phone so that she can reach me during the day while I'm at work and recently she's given at least one of those men her cell number and I have discovered some pretty gnarly messages I've done a reverse phone lookup and this particular guy seems to be in Ontario he has told her that he is a teen I'm willing to bet he's older she needs to be scared straight and this guy needs to know he's talking to a child my husband says we need to call the police I don't even know where to start can someone point me in the right direction I'll be bringing it up to her therapist in the morning my husband says we need to call the police yes immediately she needs to be scared straight and the guy needs to know he's talking to a child she needs therapy scared-straight makes for good TV but it's not how you help the victim of a crime I guess scared-straight isn't the right phrase her dan and I have been dealing with this for months her getting online when she specifically been told not to creating accounts told her no more discord etc so if she's breaking the rules her dad and I have put down but she's also engaging in risky behavior in addition to the simple rule breaking Internet is all blocked at home and now she's just using the phone call the NCMEC National Center for Missing and Exploited Children they will be very interested to hear about this and we'll help you much more than weekend done well I submitted an online report form I work with youth in South Florida who identified as possible HD human trafficking consider also contacting your state's hotline number for human trafficking and reporters an investigator will be assigned and then usually multiple agencies in the community staff this and create a treatment plan on working with your daughter 12 is the average age in the u.s. for youth to get involved through this process you can be connected to prevention services to work with her it's a scary road feel free to reach out if you need some help or have some more questions I strongly encourage you to find appropriate services to work with your daughter for now I've been doing for this for some time and have watched youth continue going good luck has there been any action to distance herself from the friends - I feel like that's being overlooked here there has I have spoken to his mom who was a good friend of mine and described the situation they are no longer allowed to hang out together soliciting a minor is illegal even though he hasn't touched her he has already broken the law as someone mentioned you can also buy her a burner phone with minimal features for emergency only I would like to add something there children are extremely resourceful and suppressing them will generally lead to more sneaky attempts to continue whatever behavior you may have been trying to stave off she is your daughter and you want to protect her but she certainly will not see it that way and as such it is important to convey the dangers of what she is doing but also to teach her how to be safe if she proceeds the absolute last thing a parent once is their child running away with a stranger in order to truly address this you need to treat her like an adult's because it is ultimately up to her to withhold whatever values you try to pass on first find documentaries about catfishing and online predators she needs to understand one the dangers she is putting herself in and - she needs to be aware of the lies and deceit tactics predators will try to use against her next teach her how to think safe for example explain how easy it is for a stranger to pinpoint her location solely based on her name or phone number one time a stranger was able to rattle off all my personal information just from using my first name and my profession seriously the importance of minimizing her exposure the other half of thinking safe teach her how to recognize red flags such as being lowered into a non-public setting using stolen pictures excuses when the story doesn't add up etc finally try to identify ways to improve her life I feel the children fall victim to this behave because of the intention they're getting that makes them feel special and valued how can you make your child's life more fulfilling how can you get her more involved with children her own age with live activities and away from the internet scene are you spending enough time with her to make her feel valued at home etc and now updates I have reviewed the entire chat history between my daughter in the sky it goes on and on and on she has been participating in video chats with him and sending pictures at his request they were talking about meeting up in the future so they could have sex and there is some master slash save type conversation as well does the fact that there was video and pictures being sent as the BDSM type played change anything a deputy from a local sheriff's office called me yesterday he said there's nothing that can be done less she specifically told him she was a minor slash under-16 I can show him pages and pages of chat history where she makes it very clear that she's a kid and if he met her he would see that she's definitely not mature enough to pass for over 16 or over 18 and since I know now they've been video chatting he knows she's not over 16 either he liked the comment is on my previous post was more interested in providing parenting advice than addressing my very specific questions the burden of proof is on the victim he advised me and while that may be true in his mind that does not sit well with me sir I have contacted my county prosecutor directly I have been in contact with discoid I have also submitted online reports to the police department in that area where he lives the FBI the NCMEC and the cybercrime tip line for his area so far only discord has responded and they have been helpful so far parenting wise since I know you're going to ask she is allowed to have her flip phone during the day for emergency purposes there is no more online access at home she is grounded but she is grounded for lying to us about accessing websites she was specifically told not to not for sex chat I haven't exploded at her and neither has her dad I'm going to discuss the legal ramifications of what she's done with her the afternoon she needs to know that this was illegal it's not her fault she got caught up in it and didn't know but she also needs to know that she can get in big trouble for this kind of stuff both legally and physically this guy isn't her boyfriend he doesn't have her best interests at heart and she's one step away from being sold into prostitution we have an acquaintance who I was just informed was charged with the felony for sending nudes to a guy she met online she's only a little older than my daughter the deputy told me to call a child sexual assault advocacy center so I think I'm going to do that update number two just two brief updates because I really don't know very much I spoke to a local detective who works only on Child Exploitation cases the Canadian authorities have arrested the man who was communicating with my daughter I just found this out last week other than that I don't know much else my daughter is doing quite well she has some anger and issues with loneliness but we are working with a therapist to address both of these she's not been allowed online since and only has a flip phone with the data shut off and she's doing really well Ontario people are living in our just built townhome claiming they're renting but we'll leave only for $15,000 police are not being helpful what am I supposed to do here so me and my wife bought a new townhome it was finally completed last Friday we did a walkthrough and were given keys to the finished students on Monday and everything was fine today was our move-in day we showed up we showed up before the movies only to discover around 2:00 woman's sitting on blankets in our living room they got extremely defensive and claimed they paid to rent it and I called the police I walked around the back in the patio door looks like it was shattered the police came and I provided them with all the paperwork showing that we are the owners however we came back with a residential tenancy form that was apparently they both signed half of it seems to be blank the landlord's name is someone who I have no idea who they are on top of that the kicker is that apparently their monthly rent is only 250 dollars a month after about two hours of back-and-forth of this the police officer gave us a report number and recommended we seek legal aid however he cannot remove them from the premises until he is able to talk to the landlord who apparently no one can get ahold of after he left one of the women came up to my wife and basically told her they would leave for $15,000 no questions asked I offered them $500 and she laughed at me from when we were in there the entire house already stinks of cigarettes and I am pulling my hair out because of this I am trying desperately to get in touch with our lawyer we talked briefly to building company and they told us as soon as they gave us the keys it is not their problem to clarify I am in Ontario Canada why is it that always the worst situations are happening in Ontario Canada can someone please elaborate on that anyway I'm trying desperately to get in touch with our lawyer this is what you need to do they are scammers and have no right to be there but that can't be established by the police it has to be established in courts and the sheriff will have to remove them via a court order if they refuse to leave edits don't try to constructively evict them or they can sue you go by the book sorry this is happening we have literally no way to go right now these people don't even have keys to our house so how can they even say they're renting it because they are lying the problem is that the police don't know who is lying or telling the truth they are not a judge in a court the fact that they are lying and scamming has to be established in courts you need to get an attorney involved with this quickly first thing in the morning you could try a Hail Mary and go down to the police station tonight and see if you can talk to someone higher up sorry this is happening it has to feel like a nightmare thanks I will see if I can get in touch with our lawyer first thing tomorrow or I will find a new lawyer to deal with this thank you for your help I'm not sure what confusion there is on who is telling the truth when one he had keys and the other party has no keys and got access to the property by breaking and entering it is completely unreasonable to me to assume they could be on the up-and-up and their landlord rented a place to them didn't provide keys and told them just to smash their way in you know seems a bit mmm that weird that one wait there is evidence of forced entry and the police didn't want to do anything about it not illegal to break into your own home which the squatters claim is going on you're saying I can break into any home in Ontario as long as I claim it's my home that's basically what happens these threads pop up on here pretty frequently people will go on vacation and need to come back with someone in their house with a fake lease this is only going to be addressed by the government if someone is successful in doing it to a politician lawmaker judge etc I guarantee you that if Opie did it to that exact cop while there were at work Opie would be in jail that night so what's stopping the actual homeowners from literally walking in there without involving the cops and forcefully throwing these people out assault is illegal call the police again if needed to get someone higher up the chain you are the owner only you can be the landlord of this property and obviously you do not want them they are either committing fraud themselves or being conned by a third person it cannot be that if a burglar or trespasser waves around with a printed piece of paper saying they rent it from X that they can commit a crime seriously RP get your ownership papers and call your sales agent to confirm with police the fact that the cops are not touching this is confusing sounds like low IQ police if this is the way things work I could just hop house to house with fake leases then leave before the consequences WTF mates end now guys update on Terrier people are living in our just build town home claiming they're renting but we'll leave only for $15,000 police are not being helpful what am I supposed to do here today they were forcefully removed from the property by the police our lawyer was somehow able to get a judge to look at everything and to prove having them removed the police officer basically told us to not move in and have the entire house professionally cleaned as there is a bunch of Neels and other things laying around on top of all of that it seems they tried to seemingly destroy everything in our house all the new applications that came with our house it basically ruined all toilets and bathtubs seemingly looked like they've been smashed with a hammer in some places it looks like someone tried to rip the fudging wiring out of our walls etc basically our house I guess basically as a final screw you to us now Loya has basically told us the odds of us getting anything of value basically out of them is basically nil I wanted them to go to jail for breaking and entering but apparently that doesn't work like that basically I hate humanity all right and our next post is by JFC help spent the night in a holding cell because having a uniform keys to the building and the alarm code is not enough proof I worked there and nights breaking in once again Ontario Canada so I work at a local computer repair shop we have closed Sundays but my boss allows me to come in on Sundays because it fits better with my school schedule as I was leaving yesterday out the back door two cops pulled up and arrested me for breaking and entering I tried to explain to them that I worked there and I would prove it by unlocking the door and turning off the alarm they said that wasn't proof and arrested me anyways I didn't put up a fight because I'm not stupid they let me try to call my boss but he was out of town ice fishing for the weekend and didn't have a cell signal so he didn't get the message until this morning they still didn't let me go until about an hour ago when my boss physically came to the police station and told them that I do work for him apparently someone down the street had called in about me because we're not open Sundays so no employees should be there is there a complaint or something I can file about this they didn't even check if I was breaking and entering they just straight up pulled up and arrested me comments are locked sir anyone late to the party I'm going to talk to the legal center at my school about it you can file a formal about the police's handling of the incidents with the O I PR D eta RP consulting a lawyer isn't bad advice but it's important to remember what legal standards apply the police are given a wide berth to make mistakes provided that their conduct was objectionably reasonable based on the facts as known at the time the totality of the circumstances as you've presented them in the original post and comments could cause the average person to reach the same conclusion that the police did while I don't necessarily agree with how the incident was handled it is extraordinarily unlikely you would be able to file suit successfully unfortunately not every bad arrest qualifies as an unlawful arrest check with our slash legal advice Canada your only Avenue of recourse is likely to be lodging a formal complaint with the police rights people saying that you should sue for false arrest are mistaken at least based on what information was provided here the officers may have been overzealous yeah but they won't without Authority and they weren't superseding the scope of their powers they received a call of a suspicious person in the store at nights when it was supposed to be closed that's reason enough to investigate even if RP had a uniform keys and a code it doesn't mean they were supposed to be there for all the cops no this is an employee who broke in at night to steal from their employer if RP is upset at how this was handled a complaint is definitely the right way to go if there are more circumstances Hopey should consult a lawyer but also know that such a suit would be an uphill battle just to clarify it was daylight when I was leaving but it did look kind of sketchy because I had backed my car up to the back door to carry something heavy inside and it was actually the first Sunday that I worked and now guys updates to arrested while leaving work on Terrier sir quick updates I talked to the legal clinic at school and they said because I have no real damages it is not worth it to do anything I did go to the police station and talked to someone higher up can't remember exact title they said the guys is suspended without pay he didn't say for how long and I didn't think to ask I let them know that I would be working Sundays until April and they said if they got a call they'd have to come check it out but it wouldn't happen again and that my record is clean I worked Sunday and a cop showed up and said that they got a call again she said that the neighbor had been calling about weird stuff all week she didn't elaborate and they were going to do a wellness check and they may not be mentally sound enough to live alone anymore she said to give them a call if we had any trouble with the neighbor while they look into it to everyone asking if I'm a minority I am trans but they didn't seem to know that when I was being arrested I've been on hormones for five years I pretty well passed now I highly doubt it had anything to do with it all right and now on to our next post my ex deleted my BA thesis and underlying research off my computer jus date is in ten days do I have any recourse at all so my life is pretty much ruined I'm supposed to graduate in May and my BA degree requires a year-long thesis made from original research I have spent all year conducting interviews and gathering qualitative data that it is impossible to reproduce my thesis was almost complete except for one section I kept my paper and materials on my computer but I would periodically back everything up by emailing the documents to myself my house had a party yesterday and my computer was used to play music I never have a problem letting other people pull up their play lists or whatever my ex showed up because their friends are friends with one of my roommates and our breakup has been friendly I saw them at one point using my computer to play music but I had no reason not to trust them because this is all happens before without a problem I noticed this morning that all of my emails are deleted that made me panic for a lot of reasons but the first thing I did was check for my thesis and it was deleted - along with my interview notes and transcriptions I'm completely completely screwed do I have any legal basis with my school to get an extension or a waiver or anything so that I can graduate on time can I do anything about my for the police care I'm in Illinois don't touch your computer turn it off and bring it to a local computer shop it is very likely that the information is still in your computer and attack will most likely be able to recover it's when you delete something on a computer it doesn't delete the information it just marks that spot as a usable spot to save further information if you haven't saved anything since that information is probably still there this is the most pressing matter once you have taken your computer to the shop then you can address the legal issues if you can provide evidence that your ex did this then you can sue him for whatever damages were incurred you are free to contact the police non-emergency line and they will determine if any laws were broken and if they are significant enough to follow through on whether or not they do will be up to the police officers I did not know that thank you I will look into this there are free tools that will recover your files pretty easily maybe ask a computer savvy person for help word processing applications also keep backup sometimes your emails can also be recovered deleted things don't actually get deleted that easily reach out to the support team for your email let them know what happened and they might be able to recover the emails as another user said take your computer to a local shop and they may be able to recover the local files for future reference for the three to one rule keep at least three backups of your data at least two mediums USB Drive cloud storage local backup and have at least one backup off-site a flash drive at a friend's house or in a safety deposit box and another comment asks you have no backup of this thing you have invested a year into with these emails stored locally on the cloud wed mail the email was my backup I'd sent a weekly draft to myself for my gmail accounts my advisor probably has an outline that I had to turn in and a very very rough draft of a few parts that I had to turn in around December but it's changed significantly from then and I've lost all the interview notes that I used to build the paper right now you have a technical issue worry about the legal issue later it's probably not gone if you act quickly have you checked the Gmail trash have you contacted Gmail I have checked the trash on my computer and email nothing and now on to our update for that post updates I need more help my ex deleted might be a thesis and it's due in 7 days I need additional help based on the advice from my last thread I took my laptop to the Geek Squad to recover the files they said I'd have it back by the end of the week that would leave me with enough time to finish the last section of my thesis paper I got a call yesterday that it would actually take two weeks because they had to ship my laptop out for data recovery tried to explain that was unacceptable but nothing could be done about it I'm not looking for technical advice I need legal advice that I can use for my college and ex my advisor said he can't give me an extension which means I won't graduate next month and very likely could just fail outs is there any legal basis for forcing my school to give me an extension my paper and all of my qualitative data was deleted plus my backups were deleted this whole situation is beyond my control is there any action I can take against my ex for the bots I'm in Illinois edits this is my original post basically my roommates and I had a party on Sunday my ex showed up which is not unusual because we're on good terms and her friends are friends with my roommates my computer was available for people to play their own playlists again nothing unusual I woke up on Monday and discovered all my emails were deleted which is where I made a weekly backups of my thesis when I checked my hard drive the folder with my thesis was deleted too I freaked out asked to write it for advice and took my computer to the Geek Squad texted my ex later on Monday asking if she deleted my thesis and didn't hear back her friend called me in tears saying my ex deleted everything and feels incredibly sorry and guilty she did it because she saw me flirting with someone at the party and got jealous I have a fellowship lined up after graduation that I'm not eligible for if I don't actually graduates I need an extension until I get my files back I'm completely completely screwed if I can't turn in my thesis sir I am NOT a lawyer but I have a grand degree and I have worked in university administration for most of my career I don't have any legal advice for you but I do have some advice on universities not every university is the same and the procedures slash job titles might be slightly different for your institution all this information should be available to you maybe in a student handbook or on the websites I've found however that many undergrad students either don't look for it or don't even know that it exists I've included some instructions below that are pretty much generally true for every institution I've worked for / attended your thesis advisor isn't a last stop when requesting an extension they are the first stop I don't know what your relationship with your thesis adviser is so you will have to make this judgment call but if they are generally reasonable and you have a good relationship you might want to give them a verbal heads up before you start escalating people don't like to be caught off guard on these things and it can help preserve goodwill if you do let them know but don't do this if you think they may retaliate or cause issues if you haven't already done so you could immediately contact your faculty / colleges academic advisors they are usually administrators not professors you should be able to find their office hours and contact information on your University's websites but they're usually pretty busy this time of year so you might want to call / email them and see if you can book an appointment some individual departments are big enough to have their own academic advisors but if you are an undergrad you will most likely be using the general office for a larger faculty such as arts and science you should ask them what the university's procedures are for cases like this there's usually a faculty wide process by which you can apply for an extension under extenuating circumstances if granted this probably means that your deadline will be extended to the next term which may or may not delay your graduation date slightly it's important that you do so before missing your deadlines as this usually makes the process easier it's not that uncommon a request when you go you should bring a copy of the information that Geek Squad sent you regarding the timeline of getting your data back and the communication that you had with your thesis advisor and any evidence you may have against your ex note if you didn't have this discussion with your thesis advisor by email make sure to do so this means you have the date and content in writing and the university will want to see that you have followed the proper escalation procedure which means talking to your instructor first and only going beyond them if you can't resolve the issue when you are asking them about your options make sure to get specific information about what evidence what you will need exactly what forms need to be filled in who you should contact next and explicit deadlines make sure that there is a record of your meeting that is dated in order to show that you trying to work this out before your deadline even heads hopefully your faculty / colleges academic advisor will be able to help you or at least help you start the process if not you will want to ask them to escalate the issue to the faculty person who was in charge of student matters in all of the universities I've worked for this person is usually called the associate dean of students for the Faculty of X I would suggest also trying to find out if there is anyone else you should see see on this email if the faculty is big and wealthy enough that the associate Dean's have an assistance definitely so you see that person on the email - faculty are busy and that person's job is to make sure issues and queries get followed up on you can also reach out to your student government for help and direction the involvement and effectiveness of student government's varies wildly between universities so this may or may not be effective I would also suggest doing this only if the steps above fail or if you need guidance in finding the right people / processes if you aren't able to get anywhere and you do miss the deadlines there are procedures for students to petition the University and challenged grades / decisions this is a longer process and it is best to deal with it before it gets to this points however if you do have to do this you will want a record of all the stamps leading up to this points that includes email records and dates showing what you have already done to resolve this so emails to the people above info on your ex info from Geek Squad etc you can start this process with the academic advisors office thank you so much I didn't realize people hire rock would bother listening to me I'll start escalating things today and that's what they're gonna do you theatres 2019 started the escalation process and they haven't updated us further so we can all assume that they didn't want to post this on reddit's and that's a whole bunch of information that is a very good amount of advice and thank you for the person that helped posted this on legal advice and helped out thesis 2019 epic all rights and our next post is by user yet CRO nine titled roommate flushed an expensive family heirloom down the toilets sir I'm a sophomore in college and have been living with a randomly paired of roommates who I believe has some form of special needs if the room is messy he gets into some serious anger fits where he will scream and yell at me about not cleaning up and then proceeded to throw all my stuff around the room this lasts around 20 minutes and he always apologizes perfuse ly and cleans everything up and says it won't happen again just yesterday he had another crazy anger fits and took my watch off my desk and flushed it down the toilets and proceeded to scream hysterically the watch was quite an expensive Rolex passed down for my father from his father so it has a lot of significance within the family I've tried calling the school and sewage system but I've had no luck yet in retrieving it I have moved rooms and spoken to the RA but they have not really offered any significant advice I have not spoken to my roommate yet as I am both a tear angry and scared to approach him I have not spoken to my father yet as I know it will completely devastate him I honestly have no idea how to approach this and any help would be appreciated what's the best course of action here talk to your father you will need information about the watch ends proof the watch existed and was in your possession if there is any form of surance you the school or or roommates has to go through them or even consider hiring a lawyer to mediate the process depending on how much the watch costs fair markets and any additional damage from it being an heirloom if there is no insurance you would have to go after roommates gather any evidence that the roommates did flush the roach reports to RA or the such depending on your state's call with the recorder and have him admit to flushing your heirloom Rolex if it isn't a one-party consent states try and get an admission through text or email from his main account / number this is another issue I have I really don't have much evidence apart from my word and previous RA reports of his violent outbursts I will definitely try and talk to my roommates and see if I can record him confessing you don't have a picture of your family wearing the Rolex yes I have many I have a Rolex and I had it appraised for insurance purposes we did the same thing with my wife's wedding rings I have been told this is the only way to accurately file an insurance claim and you will need to add it to your policy after the appraisal a jeweler can do it for you that being said I hope this works out for you in the end either somehow recovering the watch or its value good luck and someone else says you can sue your roommate for its value your parents home owners insurance should cover it's ask them for their insurance agents contact information you won't get the watch back but you might get enough money to purchase a similar vintage Rolex this assumes your parents have adequate itemized coverage for jewelry you may need to file a police reports this may make your dorm mates angry at you but if your roommate is responsible enough to be in college he is responsible enough to be liable for his actions anyway ask your parents and their insurance agents there's usually a limit on the coverage for jewelry often capped at $1500 if there's no rider or personal articles policy the full value of the watch isn't likely to be covered under a homeowner's policy the insurance company is going to want to see a police report there because they've got a clear person trying to subrogate against and need to get the infamy in order what are the laws ensuing a roommate with mental challenges if my hunch is right he can still be held liable for your damages not your problem let him raise that as a defense if he wants to talk to your dad and see if there was any insurance on it slash covered by home contents insurance if so see if the insurance will pay out and tell them who did it they will have the option to chase him for reimbursement and you won't have to if now insurance then you'll have to get him to reimburse talk to your dad first there may be other hoops to jump through getting more evidence that he did it / sending a demand letter etc before you can file with the courts mental illness does not absolve one of their actions and in the post there are four edits and it's thanks for all the supported advice here I really appreciate everyone who's commented and liked this to help me get the best advice possible a report has been filed with the police and I've been moved to a different room still waiting for a response from my roommates watch has not been found yet but maintenance said it's tough to do this on a Sunday for some reason headed to thank you for all your kind responses and all the advice was not expecting it to blow up like this by some miracle emergency maintenance found it earlier today in the trap along with some other items of mine that he must have thrown down there which they say clogged the toilets unfortunately the watch doesn't seem to be working but it should be an easy repair that being said I had another altercation with my roommates but he tried breaking into my room called the college police and it looks like they may have detained him or taken him away some winner it's been a hectic day but it looks like the situation is being handled thank you to everyone edit 3 Wow my first silver thank you kind friend much appreciated thanks for all the support and sorry if I haven't responded to everyone's comments and messages it's been a really hectic day means a lot to have such a caring community I can turn to when crap happens I appreciate you all and edit for two golds thank you kind strangers damn thanks for the continued support everyone didn't expect it to blow up so much getting it serviced today from a trusty jeweler and looking into a restraining order crazy times right now hello it really do be like that donut but in all seriousness I'm glad that this resolved itself like this that is insane to have to go through that and I cannot imagine the unfathomable stress he went through being like oh and now my Rolex is gone for life that's just great anyway guys on to our next post titled bye my ex is an jerk Emme slash california my teenage daughter was sexually assaulted while visiting her father for the summer hi everyone thank you in advance for any help you can provide my ex and I divorced 10 years ago we have a 14 year old daughter and joint custody though she spends the school year in SoCal with me and the summer in Maine with her father a divorce was not amicable but I'd do everything in my power to keep it from affecting our daughter and have not told her about my reasons for wanting a divorce out of an interest of not poisoning her relationship with her father she arrived home this morning and she looked pale and was shaking and in tears after asking her what's wrong she handed me a letter from my ex's mother apparently my daughter was acting like a [ __ ] and dressing inappropriately in front of her cousins and turned nineteen year old cousin sexually assaulted her the letter was telling me how I'm supposed to change how I'm raising my daughter to prevent promiscuity she's always been a crazy bible-thumping weirdo so I ignored its I took my daughter home and immediately called my ex asking him to send me the forms so that I can have copies of her medical records from being sent to the hospital sent to her doctor and asked for the name and number of whichever police officer is handling her case he informed me that he decided not to press charges because our daughter was being a [ __ ] and needs to know she's not going to be rewarded with attention for that kind of behavior I'm livid it's been four weeks since the event happened and they didn't permit her to call me that whole time I wish I had given her the cell phone that I had waiting at home before she left but I had intended it as you're starting high school gifts and I thought it would be best to wait I want to press charges and see the aggressor punished to the fullest extent of the law I would also like to see about amending our custody agreements so that she doesn't ever have to go see that screwed up side of her family again I'm so angry right now I cannot think straight and she is taking a nap what do I need to do who do I need to call the police should point you to supportive services for your daughter to help her through this local crisis center etc be sure to ask if they don't also scan in / photograph of that letter backups also the police will want the original you want to copy and I'm sure your lawyer will want one for the custody hearing also your daughter is 14 so hopefully the court will take her wishes into accounts I expect she never wants to go back to main she definitely does not want to go back she's supposed to fly over back for Christmas and she was begging me on the way home to do something to make sure she never had to go back again I promised her that I would do everything in my power I hope it's the case that she can just say she doesn't want to go and she won't have to she's never expressed a desire to not go before her father's family which is much wealthier than mine so they do a lot more fun things with her than I can afford to so it's never come up I'm thinking she should talk with the attorney alone also or her own separate attorney don't know exactly how that would work just know when I was 14 I knew I absolutely had the power to refuse trouble is I didn't always know the best way to use that power one parent making me get on the plane to LAX another waiting at Maine I might be walking out of the airport in Chicago on the layover anyway at 14 I could have used a therapist in the lawyer for some confidential empowerment's and nothing in my life came close to your story she'll find a way out she needs to know the safe choices absolutely call the police I would also talk to a lawyer and look at getting custody taken away ASAP I called them after I got off the phone with my ex and they said they'd send someone over this evening to speak to my daughter since the assault happened almost a month ago they said not to worry about taking her to the hospital for assessment kits I just wasn't sure if I should call the police in Maine as well as far as my attorney I left a voicemail but he's on vacation this week and should be back on Monday Arpi also saved that letter it will be important for both cases I will thank you for reminding me my desire to tear it up and scream in frustration has been growing over the past hour or two take a well lit picture of it too that way it's saved into cloud storage and is safe from a fire or sabotage I'm so sorry other people have given you some awesome advice all I have to say is I would try and see if there was a way you could file charges against the grandmother and her father accessories after the fact tampering with evidence something they knew if it happened and thought it was okay because she was being a [ __ ] and deserved it who in their right mind thinks this is okay it makes you wonder how many other girls this cousin has taken advantage of and they covered it up especially family members I'm also not one for suing but after the trial I highly recommend ensuing not only the cousin but the father and grandmother for emotional distress for everything they have if they are as wealthy as you say I would go after every dime people like this disgust me they think because they have money and religion they are above everything your daughter deserves it all right and now on to our first update my teenage daughter was sexually assaulted while visiting her father for the summer well it's been a busy day and it's barely 8:30 Christ yesterday afternoon after I made my post which admittedly helped calm my rage just posting it's I called her gynecologist I have Ryu Turan issues sir I got her a gunner to get checked for them once she started her period she was very understanding and offered to stay late if I wanted to bring my daughter in that evening sir I called the police let them know that I was taking her to appointments at the gyno that evening as well so we could coordinate my daughter was a bit hesitant to go see the doctor but understood when I explained to her that we needed to make sure that she wasn't pregnant and didn't have any damage that went uncared-for because her father refused to get her medical attention the doctor said she's physically fine pending the results of the STI tests and she asked to be put on birth control for peace of mind though I know this is traumatic for her and her father's family is a bunch of goddamn nut jobs I'm glad Lee didn't get into her head enough that she would be afraid of asking for that kind of protection after the doctor's appointments we went home and ordered pizza and a detective arrived around 8:00 p.m. he sat down with my daughter in our living room while I hung out in my office after making sure she was okay being alone with him didn't want her to not tell him something for fear that I would hear it the detective told me before he left that this is a serious matter and he would be contacting me with information about anyone in Maine that I needed to speak to I made a few copies of the letter and scanned it in then gave him the original and emailed him a digital copy he left with a big folder with a bunch of victim advocacy groups information in it he also told me to get a restraining order for her against her father's family after he left we sat down and set up her new cell phone and she went on Facebook and blocked her father's family as they had started posting victim Blamey bullcrap to her wall within an hour my phone was ringing with my ex demanding that I make our daughter unblock him since apparently he's decided he has a right to be on her Facebook I told him to only contact me through my attorney and hung up this morning I got a call back from my attorney even though he's on vacation his assistant heard my message and contacted him about it since it seemed more pressing than most other matters and he called me to reassure me that he will handle it and since we divorced in California the custody agreement is in California and will be amended in California since California is her state of residency and in California they take a real dim view of this kind of bullcrap in California he also told me at 14 no judge she knows of would tell her that she had to go visit her father much less in this situation I have an appointment for her with the trauma counselor the detective recommended this afternoon and took the day off work so that I could help her is needed right now she's mostly been playing World of Warcraft and eating junk food but I feel like at least right now I'm not going to tell her when she needs to go to bed or police her health choices I want to thank you all for your excellent advice and supports I will do my best to keep you updated as the situation unfolds but my conversation with the detective and my attorney leads me to believe that while the custody amendments will not take too long the criminal proceedings may take longer as they are complicated by the fact the victim lives in one states and the crime occurred in a different state and now update to my teenage daughter was sexually assaulted while visiting her father for the summer so what I'd posted quick updates my attorney spoke with my ex-husband's attorney and I don't know what words were exchanged but my ex agreed to the amended custody agreements so she no longer has to see him he made a big stink about how he's not paying child support anymore but I'm not very worried about it I make enough that it's not really a concern and I've worked this sub enough to know that just because he doesn't have visitation does not mean he gets out of paying child support I'm a vindictive [ __ ] so if he's late on a single payments I plan to pursue it as far as I can as far as the crap [ __ ] that assaulted my daughter I know very little other than it's an ongoing investigation but that they will contact me when the more information is available I'm pretty sure he's been arrested as I received a lovely email from my ex mother-in-law rambling about how I'm destroying her grandson's life blah blah blah I really don't care I've blocked her and my daughter has all of them blocked so as far as I'm concerned they can die in a fire at the bottom of a well my daughter is doing well she has joined a LARP group live-action roleplay sorry I don't know what it is they play something like Dungeons and Dragons but in costumes with fake weapons and seems to be bouncing back well not having to deal with her father or his family anymore seems to have lifted a weight off of her shoulders she is seeing a therapist regularly though as I know from my own bouts of depression that just because you seem fine doesn't mean that you are I wanted to extend my thanks to everyone in the sub for how supportive and kind you've been through what is a very difficult time for my family it was very helpful to have people able to calmly and clearly explain what my options were and what to expect when I was too angry to think strange I think my landlord may be dead or hospitalized and I don't know what to do so I will have been in this rental property for 10 years this year in all that time I've never actually met my landlord he lives in another state he used to have properties both in my state and in his states but after the recession in 2008 he mostly pulled everything back to his states my original lease was for the first year here after that we never signed another lease but we've never had any issues at all about that I've always paid the rains by making a deposit directly to his account at his bank when anything goes wrong he's quick to hire repairmen we've had a good relationship for the last decade even if we don't know what the other looks like in person q coronavirus my significant other and myself both work in the hospitality industry and restaurant / bars have been shut down for a month now with no clear end in science unemployment hasn't kicked in yet and we haven't gotten any stimulus check rent is gieux but we wanted to talk to our landlord about postponing payments until we started working again the landlord's phone goes straight to voicemail the voicemail box is full every time we call he hasn't responded to texts or emails we've been trying to get ahold of him for two weeks now although I've never seen him he sounds like an older dude and I'm worried about him I'm also worried about my household what happens if he's not ok I can provide other details if they might be helpful not a lawyer but try searching for your landlords legal name + States + obituary on Google that might answer some questions I tried I don't know his age middle name or marital status I'm not even sure he still lives in Kentucky I only talked to the dude like ever a year when the house has a problem search results were inconclusive tax documents search came back with no results also may have to do with my address this house was once a business and also once a duplex and we've had issues before because of its example we couldn't get residential power service when we moved in because the utility company still has my address zoned as commercial we have utility SVC under a fake apartment one address something else to consider since I went through something similar is if your landlord is passed as long as you have a rental agreement slash contract you can't get evicted unless you violate that contract what I'm trying to say is if your landlord has passed and the keepers of his estate want to sell the house they can't force you to leave until your lease is over my landlord passed and his are tried to make us leave before our lease was over and I told him he was not able to do that we were only on a lease for the first year that we were here we never signed another lease contract so I assumed we were just unspoken month-to-month this is one of my concerns I'm worried that he might have passed and we're just going to get a surprise notice from some next of kin that says we need to be out ASAP if you know his address you can get a welfare check done on him I don't even know his city but I'm going to see if his bank might help me put a wellness check through since they already have his full address I know they won't give it to me directly you could go to your county's tax assessor websites and do a search for your rental property this should give you the owner's name and mailing address I did this it didn't turn up any results but I'm not surprised about that this house is over 100 years old and it has been at the one point in time or another a business a duplex and now a single family home I've had a lot of issues around the county involving this address I was almost unable to vote because of its and I had a hard time getting utility service because the house was still listed at the utility company as a commercial business and they didn't want to set up residential power service for it as such there's like three variations of my address floating around the landlord's bank and with the property tax office far from each other I think tomorrow I'm going to stop by the bank as many people have suggested and if the bank can't help me I'm going to pop across the street and see if the property tax office might be able to lend any kind of hand I'm hoping that even though this involves communication of sensitive information people will understand that this is an exhausting circumstance in a time of crisis I'm not trying to access his address I just want to know if he's okay if he is okay he'll get in touch with me when he can hopefully somebody will work with me on getting a wellness check wherever he's at there is 100% chance that your local government has the owner on hit the property records and said records of public info otherwise they would be unable to access property taxes and they would either have found him a long time ago or placed a lien on the house and you'd be out by now all I've been able to find his appearance under his name in my home county all right and after all of that they've put some edits down in the post my state is Florida landlord lives in Kentucky at least I hope he still does edit - I found the property tax information and it only lists his middle initial and a Pierre box for my state and county edit three thanks to a lot of help some info has been tracked down and I have an address that I'm pretty sure is my landlords actual house not just a Pierre box that might not be checked often I'm going to send a certified letter over that way explaining my situation and proposing a payment plan for the third rent in the meantime I'm going to keep as much money put aside as possible until I get cash coming in again when payments will be resumed I'll let you guys know if I hear back thank you to everyone who provided advice final edits he's okay his cell phone got stolen and he's still waiting on a replacements probably the best outcome I think thanks again to everyone who reached out with resources and offers to help and our next post is by user kitsune in Dakota titled took husband ter for possible stroke and he got 5150 / what can I do this is a long story because a lot happened and is still happening we live in Seattle my father-in-law died and we flew down to Northern California to deal with its we decided to drive back on the way my husband started to say that he didn't feel right his heart was racing his face felt weird he was on little sleep dealing with his family and we hadn't been eating great because of everything going on so this man who was normally pretty chill got flat-out terrified that he was having a stroke we work for a pretty big and well-known nonprofit health care provider that pushes the whole kind of better safe than sorry thing when it comes to your health so I googled the closest er and we went to it we got there and by this time I'm pretty sure he's having a panic attack he's not violent or threatening or anything just really really scared that he's about to die like his father to the point that he's making sure I know that he doesn't want to be cremated I tell the check-in person that he thinks he's having a stroke and I think it's a panic attack but I'm more worried about his hearts they check him in he gets the code for the bathroom and goes to the bathroom in other words he's not threatening anyone he's not trying to kill himself he's not unable to take care of himself after he's available the nurse takes him for triage his blood pressure is 188 out of a hundred which is not normal for him I tell the nurse this and that I'm very scared about what that means she just shrugged it off she asked him for his height and weight and he answered then she started to ask him all these mental health questions when she would he would look at me because what the hell does that have to do with anything rights his blood pressure is not right so I answer these questions to the best of my ability while pointing out his physical symptoms were a big concern they take us back to what they called a ER overflow it ends up being psych my husband keeps asking why he's there they take that as he's unaware of his surroundings he does as they ask and changes and such because it was pretty clear that they had no intention of letting us leave he's not put in a room just a cot with a curtain in a line of cots with curtains we look around and noticed things like their trash bins are just Lowe's lawn and leaf bags they keep patients charts and three-ring binders on a desk and they're accessible to anyone in the room where we work the standard is you secure everything in a computer and patient information is guarded like state secrets when dealing with patients our medical staff asks the multiple identifiers x' no matter how many conversations they've had with that person before new information or new new medical staff has to happen these people came up to my husband and just said his first name then started to talk to him like they'd been friends for years he refused he let them know we expect a certain level of patient safety and we're not getting it if they don't ask him his last name and birthday every time he is not talking to them they took that and wrote it down as paranoid I explained to them the medical world we come from they said it doesn't matter they do things differently so the fact that he can't fall in line is an issue they kept the paranoid eventually they got him a television with a psychiatrist but wouldn't tell us much about where the psychiatrist is based out of or anything when he pops onto the screen he just says his name and that's it it looks like he's in his living room again that this is not what we're used to the psychiatrist asks my husband his name and his date of birth my husband refuses to answer he didn't agree to any of this he doesn't feel medically safe he doesn't trust what's going on the psychiatrist spends all of five minutes not really trying and calls it a day at this point I'm not worried my husband is having a stroke but I am worried his heart is going to explode because of how they are treating him and how they're not even touching on his concern that he's having a stroke he started to beg me to not let them let him die then he started trying to go through at least the physical tests for sign of a stroke the staff looked at him like he was this super sad insane guy and decided he need a deven because I was worried about his heart and I know the doctors I work with in my job prescribed it for some patients to feel okay with being in an MRI machine I talked him into taking it in hopes that he would at least not care that he's so worried about having a stroke eventually we hear back that the psychiatrist on the TV who spent five minutes with my silent husband has decided he's bipolar is having an episode and needs a 24-hour hold and anti-psychotic medication once so they start planning for him to be there for 24 hours I try to fight them but they shut me down every step of the way meanwhile the ativan is making my husband loopy I look it up and all it can cause hallucinations Spivey this is gonna help our case the night wears on and they try to get my husband to take zyprexa at this point the ativan is wearing off but he's okay he asks them if there's side effects with cyprox are they laugh and shrug all drugs have side effects according to the nurse he declines to take it's they tell him they can't trust him to be released if he can't follow medical staff direction he asks again if the medication is safe they assure him it is he reluctantly takes it a couple of months ago his PCP back home prescribed him Prozac Seattle gets funky around this time of year and with him being from California the change in seasons can be hard there is a lot of sad in the area from the California transplants his doctor wanted to be proactive this hospital knew he was on Prozac they declined to tell us that Prozac enzo pressure actually can interact and of course it did so now he's super out of it's talking nonsense suddenly becoming worried that he's peed himself they try to take blood from him and his blood is so jacked they barely get anything and everything just starts to go downhill from there eventually they feel like I'm asking too many questions and being disruptive and kick me out then they put him on a 5150 and he's been stuck there with no clear way out I talked to the mental health person who put the 5150 in motion and she would not budge she was adamant that my safety was in jeopardy I told her I'm not scared of my husband and that once they stopped giving him those meds he won't have the symptoms he's having she stated that she cons because of his paranoia that his identity is going to be stolen I pointed to the open binders on the desk of patient information and said you're handing it out to people here he's completely justified but they do it differently and because he can't file in line with that it's a really big issue they had no intention of letting him go keep in mind too they would ask you have X Y Z insurance rights before deciding that what sorts of things they're going to throw at him he has excellent insurance this is a small rundown of what I know has been done to my husband they have accidentally given him his prozac prescription twice a day when he just takes a dose once a day they keep giving him the zyprexa on top of it and he keeps having side effects I have seen no paperwork about anything happening to him no consent forms nothing when I asked for a copy of the 5150 first they couldn't find it then they said I need to ask the medical records it's the weekends this place is dead on the week outside of the ER not happening I got in contact with our medical team the doctor in charge of his care told our RN he's not talking to her and hung up our RN is now working on putting him through the wringer they refused to let me see him for an entire day I'm going to try to see him today but I'll probably get escorted out again I'm walking a fine line of not getting outright banned from the hospital there is no patient advocate and staff there Ombudsman no social worker all the lawyers in town take the weekend off sir I can't get a lawyer I talked to the my police team back home because they're good people and they suggested I call the police here to do a welfare check the police here would not do it I brought my husband in for a stroke and now they're giving him meds that he really didn't agree to take his reaction to those meds are giving them a medical excuse to not release him and no one here will help me what do I do how do I get him out you need a lawyer now only option is a writ of habeas corpus I would get this started in the case today to extend his 72 hours longer the lawyer doesn't need to reside in that city but to the state contact a lawyer in the major city of that states continue to document everything good luck to you both I would like to chime in that the 5150 won't become a 5250 unless you were gravely disabled or in danger to yourself or others the writ can be handled without a lawyer if you can't afford a lawyer that's actually not true in practice especially on weekends two years ago I got put on a 5150 on a Friday at 2:00 a.m. because the hold was supposed to expire on Monday at 2:00 a.m. they didn't have the regular doctors on staff on weekends they just put me on a fifty to fifty I went in voluntarily and would not have left in the middle of the night anyway this was also in Northern California and a separate comment from that's all lawyers do not take the weekend off anywhere half the work that criminal lawyers get is on weekends you need to hit up every law firm around you regardless of what they specialize in go to one a city over if you have to but usually as local as possible is best for quick results okay I was wondering if a lawyer is a lawyer in some respects thank you that gives me something to work with I work for an answering service most of our attorney clients always have someone on call just call around and leave a message with everyone and someone else says hi I'm not a lawyer but I had something very similar happened to me so take this as a blueprints one get a lawyer as everyone has suggested they can spring your husband's the key thing here is going to be here that he is super lucid and coherence also he can refuse medicine and probably should in addition they can try and make sure that you don't have to pay a dime for what happened with your insurance to make sure you write clear and copious notes of everything that is going on now nurses names times doctors names etc to give to the lawyer if you don't have this write it down ASAP that will make your case much much stronger also your request for his medical paperwork make sure you notify them in writing the biggest screwup in HCA did in my case was not releasing my information to my emergency medical contact when asked and that was looked at them hiding something make sure that is documented three on your own you can call your insurance and submit a claim against the services rendered in advance of the suit this is really useful because sometimes insurance knows of problem hospitals before lawyers do and can help guide you through the process the third one is super critical that's what happened in my case the hospital I went to was HCA owned and magically where they sent me for psych holding was HCA owned I wouldn't say it's a scam per se but they had enough complaints about the process that they already knew how to walk me through it and put a stop on all payments in the meantime all in Dole I was sprung in 24 hours and everything was resolved in under three months for me looking back at its it's kind of a funny story of that one time I got accidentally committed I guess so here is hoping it gets resolved quickly for you hi I'm a physician obviously I was not there and I'm only hearing one side of the story but maybe I can at least shed some insight as to what their thought processes may have been and aware from my perspective your reactions are or are not justified so in regards to this part you can read it your rights a BP that high isn't normal but unless he's a child or a pregnant woman it's not dangerously high especially if he is indeed having a panic attack mental health screening is a very important part of any er intake process just because it doesn't seem concerning to you doesn't mean that it isn't a potential concern for an ER physician who doesn't know the patient and in this one you said that you thought it was a panic attack and you were telling them you thought it was a panic attack your husband is on Prozac which he revealed much later on so he has a psych history psych rims are designed to be as non-threatening and milquetoast as possible so as to not aggravate people who were genuinely medically agitated sacrum also have all the amenities that a regular room has why is this a problem what if a patient was genuinely having a psych issue and in the wrong room for it's that my friends is a very good points and the next one covers these two paragraphs okay so if everything is on a three-ring binder maybe they don't have electronic medical records there's really not much else one can do the binder is either safe in the patient's room or out on the floor which would you prefer having worked in many different hospitals in many parts of the country the only time we go through identifiers as physicians is when we meet the patients or more importantly are about to do a procedure Surgical timeouts what you're describing is excessive and not part of any Hospital protocol that I've seen my introduction to a patient in the ER is hi miss X I'm dr. huggleballs one of the obstetrician / Gynaecologists working today and that's--it's now these two paragraphs yeah that's pretty standard procedure for any interaction with the patients for whom you have psychiatric concerns as it's less threatening requiring that someone recount your personal information with every interaction isn't safe its obstructive and honestly concerning if I had a patient with a psychiatric history interact with me with such mistrust well that doesn't seem too far off from paranoid for me in all honesty and this one so what do you expect the psychiatrist to do with the patient who isn't cooperating he's saying he doesn't feel safe and doesn't trust anyone around him if I were the psych I would say okay I'm not gonna agitate you further we will talk later sounds like he did and this one sounds like he was having a psychotic episode and refusing the care of anyone who was trying to interact with him I would give a divan to and these paragraphs sounds like they did the safest thing to your husband from a medical legal standpoint ativan is benzodiazepine hallucinations are not one of the common adverse effects it is a sedative that works similarly to alcohol now all this stuff is quite a lot of it he's responding to you Zarek's ah is an anti-psychotic and a very safe one at that I'm a knob guy and it's one of the few antipsychotics that we feel comfortable enough to in pregnant and breastfeeding women SSRIs like prozac and antipsychotics like zyprexa do not interact to cause psychosis again sounds like they made the right call because your husband based purely off your description sounds like he's having a pretty classic manic psychotic episode and is a potential danger to himself and others the binder is not an issue as long as it was in the patient's room honestly you can get a lawyer and to have every right to do so but patients are not committed involuntarily lightly because of the litigious society in which we live the practice of medicine has become very defensive everything that your Doc's did was likely because they want to avoid a lawsuit that means taking as little risk as possible there is a lot of holes in this story and unless there are a lot of other details by missing I doubt a lawyer would be able to do much of course I don't know the full details of what's happened so I could be wrong in some of my assumptions as well good luck and I hope your husband gets better edit just saw this for someone so concerned about privacy why would you expect a physician to reveal patient and care information to a random RN he doesn't even know if there was any breach of patient privacy this is it has to be physician to physician the RN isn't putting anyone in the wringer unless she just graduated yesterday she knows this very well and now there are a lot of updates to this story updates I'm getting a lot of the same responses about certain things so I would like to add we work in health care the place where we work requires at least two patient identifiers before we're even allowed to start talking to the patient I get that it's probably not standard in most of the country but our high level of care that we receive from our company isn't either we calmly explained why we bought they couldn't humor him the more zombie they make him the more his extensive training for his job makes him silence like we say if we haven't pissed you off making sure you're you then we haven't done our job my husband has signed that I can know his medical staff and make medical decisions on his behalf he thought he was having a stroke and no one was addressing those concerns so he was scared he might die from his stroke I work with Neurology patients his reaction was not inconsistent with my experience part of our situation is stemming from we are used to X level of care and professionalism and apparently that is an anomaly but no I'm not going to let him be penalized because he expects a certain standard that all people should expect when we spoke to our personal medical staff about the reasonableness of him keeping quiet because they don't do what we do they consistently say that they wouldn't talk either because that's not safe there are ways for staff to validate the staff from other medical facilities we are working on getting a lawyer I called them and they won't say anything passed he's sleeping and that he's not allowed visitors update they have lost the forms he signed giving me clearance to speak on his behalf and cut off communication his mother contacted them and they told her that he has been really aided and his whole has been extended another 72 hours because they state because he is unresponsive and suicidal his first hold went into effect the 12th of the 7th 2018 at 12:22 p.m. today is not 72 hours there was no hearing that we know of his mother got them to let me call I called him he stated that he wants to live but he needs help I asked him with what he stated that he's too weak to feed himself and get himself water and they weren't helping with that and he feels like he's starving I did tell him to ask them so let's hope that happens and it's to Ed he's been getting up to wander around Looby and the guards rushed him and grabbed him to bring him back to his bed there is nerve warning he tenses from being startled then lets them lead him around like a puppets they call this aggressive behavior from him maybe that is aggressive in an ER in a normal world that's not and just because something has been a certain way for a while doesn't mean it's right it might just mean no one has said anything I also do not think my husband isn't ill and I don't have any she with him having a mental illness he's my husband and that's not going to change I just want him in a better care facility closer to home and they are not letting me do that since their beds is so full you'd think they'd jump at it further edits I was driving we had stopped for a moment and he stated he was worried can we go to a hospital for the first 36 hours I didn't say anything and let him handle it for the most parts while I did everything they asked without a complaints but when we got there it was shift change and he had about 10 different people in an ounce his blood was not flowing well and his veins had shrunk it was jacked up the registered nurse trying to get through was just using the official lines as her job as patient transport and care tracking the hospital would not speak to her to set up care tracking and transfer his doctors prescribed him Prozac because he went to her and said he was feeling off with the season change she wasn't ready quite yet to diagnose SI D but prescribed the medication to see if that makes a difference the area he's in is technically just ER overflow and there isn't an actual psych ward area they just put a privacy screen up as a barricade in an area with extra cots I never said I was a provider or a nurse the whole point of that was that I've told them he's requesting these wacky to them things out of them because we work for a health care company I asked them to humor him they said they don't do things that way he still jumped through their hoops just informed them he didn't think it was professional every time once he got to know the person he didn't do it it was just when it was someone new since he hasn't had the same team twice yet there's always someone near I apologize if my fear for my husband and his situation didn't make my writing clear and defended basically everyone I actually wrote all this out realized I had done that then tried to back out of its but got that's null everything so figured it was lost anyway I was surprised when I suddenly had a notification of response by then it was what it was and a few people groped my intent and gave me some good advice everyone else had a great time at Target practice we're getting a lawyer my contacts within my company are going to see what we can do now that it's Monday and now updates took husband to ear for possible stroke and he got 5150 / what can I do so we got a lawyer who wasn't really able to start doing much until today last night however my husband was able to call me from his room in the ER overflow where he was being held at the local hospital he sounded tired but lucid they stopped medicating him earlier that morning and he stated that he felt like he was coming out of a huge fog he was looking forward to meeting with a lawyer the following day which was today this morning I get a call from the lawyer asking why I went to the ER overflow last night's and caused a huge scene that made them move him also did I know where they moved him to I had no idea what he was talking about as I had been in the hotel with our son all nights after I spoke with my husband after a bit of foot work we discovered he got sent to a local inpatient facility where they started to medicate him again a few minutes ago I got a call that he's heading back to the hospital as a medical emergency as he's having an adverse reaction to the an event that they swore up and down couldn't affect him he is catatonic I'll update as I get more information thank you to everyone who has been supportive I have seen your messages and I apologize I don't have the bandwidth right now to answer them one by one I think this is a crappy situation because I get people's doubts because there are many times with a family member in denial about a loved one who needs to be involuntarily committed but I also think it's fair to say the system is set up to favor sensitivity over specificity by design and for good reason but that means they were naturally going to be false positives swept into the system and it's not fair to act as if they don't exist even when everyone does everything right I think the hardest thing is that it's impossible to just sit down with someone and have them tell you exactly what is happening and exactly what is going to happen even with all proper release forms signed which only magnifies the family members panic making things worse especially considering Opie thinks her husband needs urgent medical care not even starting on the debt these incidents put people in overall Opie having a lawyer will make all the difference so know you've already made the best choice that you could have I hope your husband is okay and please keep us updated don't take the dismissals here too harshly I realize many medical professionals have to deal with getting attacked in these situations even though it isn't a mistake so many times it gets difficult to give people the benefit of the doubt also remember that even though it's screwed you over the system set up to catch even questionable cases by design and it does save more lives than if the system wasn't set up that way some situations just suck and even if you acknowledge no one is doing anything technically wrong it's okay to acknowledge the situation really [ __ ] sucks my biggest issue has been I just want them to tell me why or my husband why they're making certain decisions and they're not if they want to go down one path over another great but just say why that's happening I would think that if someone is sitting there going hey you're not giving this person medical assistance just psychiatric assistance why is that the answer needs to be more than just because we want to help him get better that feels like a cans dismissive response when they said the teller consult doctor wanted them to give him certain medications he wanted to know the basis for that and the response was again because we want to help you get better I mean ask me to leave the room if you don't want to say it in front of me and just say it to the patient that's fine if I come back and he says he's comfortable with the response great that is all I need to know keep in mind this hospital had to change its name a few years back because it was performing surgery on healthy people that didn't need it because money and the patient company is being investigated for medical fraud one nurse did say it's a for-profit place if they can find any way to make money they will considering they keep asking about his awesome insurance plan my confidence for their reason isn't very high and here's the conclusion this will probably be the last updates I'm sorry that it took a bits I wanted to make sure all of our Ducks were in a row as possible right now after two weeks we finally got my husband back and returned home we've been home about a month he had to go through some drug withdrawal which sucks but we got through it as soon as he could when we got home he saw our family doctor a psychiatrist and a therapist and all of them were agog about what happens the records show he did not have any suicidal or homicidal ideation of any sorts they did not actually have a reason for the 5150 at the starts the only issues really happens when they started to drug him and the drugs forced him to be gravely disabled because as our family doctor said he has reactions to lorazepam which they would know if they could figure out things like computers and a little thing called epic and another little thing called care everywhere our doctors here ceased giving him all medications and they're starting to create a file showing how wrong the folks in California were he had a panic attack yes but that was all he had we still don't know what the medical emergency was exactly because even the regular ER doesn't keep records well but he was given a CT scan to look for brain damage my husband has vague memories of being in constant state of seizure so it might have been related to that as well we suspect there's more records that they held back and we'll probably have to go through a lawyer to get those we are still in a fight to get the records from the inpatient facility all in all he's doing better and continuing to improve he's pissed about losing two weeks of his life but he's back and we're home and that's what matters mutlaq north carolina high school says my son's hair style and color violates schools social norms so I was called to school today and was told that my son has been given a warning that his new hairstyle is against school social norms I asked for a copy of a document that describes the school's social norms which they did not provide they instead said it's a matter of judgment by the school staff my son has long hair and has recently dyed it electric blue he likes it this way they told me that he has a week to change his hairstyle to an appropriate and acceptable hairstyle or he will be suspended until his hairstyle becomes acceptable I told them that to me it seems like this is a matter of freedom of expression the school needs to be able to abide by the First Amendment's they told me that there is no First Amendment in school and the freedom of expression of students is only as far as the school staff will allow I'm not going to tell my son that he can't weigh his favorite hairstyle and color only to appears to the school administrators unless they have a legal right in restricting his access to the school and education for his hairstyle what is the most reasonable course of action for us first is this a First Amendment issue and second who do I talk to next the school is probably rights the recent cases you've heard of where schools were successfully sued over dress codes were based on the restriction of racially distinct hairstyles the obvious problem there being that those policies tended to discriminate against black students a restriction against dyeing your hair electric-blue is unlikely to be steamed discriminatory against any cognitive or group let alone a protected class with regard to the First Amendment there is a limitation on that which schools do enjoy see for instance Tinker vs Dead's Martin's the school has the right to curtail speech or other forms of expression if reasonably necessary to achieve legitimate educational goals if the school is reasonable in finding that the blue hair has some sort of disruptive effect they are legally permitted to ban such hairstyles school also finds woman's shoulders distracting and sexual does that mean they're right by the way I agree with you I'm just making a side note law I'm not saying that you're wrong please do not take it the wrong way the only flavor of right or wrong we're concerned with is correct in the statements that they made or in the way they summed up the situation and in regards to this comment so who determines this and based on what shouldn't they be some sort of evidentiary procedure as the basis of these restrictions there is no actual school policy that says this is bent I guess they can make up some now but at this moment there isn't the school determines it based on their understanding of cause and effect there is no need for process at this point if you think they have determined it unreasonably you can sue and that's when there is a process whereby a judge and after evidence and arguments either determined that that is reasonable in furtherance of a legitimate educational goal or is not reasonably in furtherance of a legitimate educational goal what we're telling you is that based on extant law and the facts above you wouldn't win that case thank you I understand now should I get this demand in writing from school so that we know what to expect I don't want him to pick a new-style only to see that it's also not allowed since there are no actual guidelines and the schools making stuff up as they go along you could always buy him a few wigs and wig caps wear different conventional hairstyles in school being careful never to show the electric-blue he can keep it wear it after school slash home off campus and annoy the teachers with tacky convention wigs today is Ellen hair tomorrow who knows another commenter says the school's authority to control conduct in the classroom is very very broad if your son's hairstyle choice is another religious nor racial nor cultural in nature and if there's even the slightest indication that it disrupts the classroom or school environments the school can likely suspend him until his hair returns to a natural color you could litigate this but the outcome is uncertain even if you were to win and have the school's policy overturned on First Amendment grounds a clearer and more specific dress code that is applied uniformly or even school uniforms with a list of permissible hairstyles would likely pass judicial muster furthermore the litigation is likely to be slow and expensive and while it grinds its way through your son would still likely be suspended from his school faster and less expensive sub resolutions include deciding that this isn't worth it and helping your son dye his hair back negotiating with the school's administration or the school district seeking clarification on the dress code and rolling your son in another school willing to tolerate his hair at your own expense and homeschooling against the school's curriculum possibly with the school's supports on things like tests and exams morally I think your son's school is in the wrong but legally this is a dicey fight to pick thank you I will not litigate all that this go as far as changing school or homeschooling that's taking it too far and our next post public North Carolina high school says my son's hair style and color violate school social norms updates found a way around it I want to thank all of you for the help and advice that you gave us I realized that this while stupid is probably within the rights of the school but that didn't mean there was nothing we could do a lot of you brought up the idea of using a wig sadly wigs also were not allowed except for legitimate religious cultural or medical reasons with prior approval however what did surprise me was that there was two girls who were on a green dye for months without a problem this definitely sounded like a gender discrimination allowing that dye for girls and not boys so I went in there to speak with the principal again I told him that I'm recording the conversation and after speaking about wigs told him that they are allowing girls to do that but not boys principal said that this is a matter of judgment because unnatural hair colors doesn't diminish the feminine attributes of women but unnatural hair colors for men does diminish their masculine attributes I got it then that nonsense is all this has been about they think a long and blue hair on a boy isn't manly enough I reminded him that this is gender discrimination and gender is a protected class he remained silent for more than a minutes I expected to him to say that it's fine and they'll backtrack but I was shocked when he told me that I'm rights they'll reinforce this requirement for girls too it is best to get rid of these unnatural colors from our school I hate what I did the last thing I wanted was to cause trouble for those girls or start a chain of actions that could have ended up with them being forced to change their favorite hairstyles they were contacted too and were given the same choice two days later my son came to me and said he's spoken with the girls and they have a solution they want to dye their hair a very white silverish color it's naturally occurring because you get it when you get old and some people are born with it as well I know the more mature thing would have been to tell him to end this game but I was a teenager once as well and I was even more stubborn than he is now so I'll doubt it the school didn't like it the three of them were called to the principal's office where they argued their case that their hair color is naturally occurring now they said it's the same color as one of the teachers who was quite old are you gonna suspend mr. X as well over his hair color the principal laughed at them and backed off it's been a couple of weeks since then and there hasn't been any issues and this new color looks good on my son all right well that was a good resolution to that one I hope you enjoyed it now we're on to our next post bye who ate it's Ray titled lady googled husbands side chicks number and showed up at my parents house last month a woman showed up to my parents house with her husband in tow banging on the door at midnight claiming my mother was sleeping with her husband I think my parents were half-awakened flabbergasted we all laughed it off as crazy today my phone is blowing up but the person keeps hanging up finally I call back and she says I know it's you stop calling my husband don't make me come to your house again and it clicks oh my god crazy lady I try to be friendly she is clearly distressed and asks how she got my number and she says she looked it up within the hour she is Facebook messaging my parents threatening to go to my parents home again and then she's texting me photos of a phone bill as her proof that's when I realized it was my old phone number like 2014 old but apparently anyone can Google a phone number get a name and address and pop up at your home will the police do anything if I call them now or am I going to have to wait for her to pop up you can visit your local County Courthouse and research the requirements for a no contact order if this person shows up to your home again you can call the police if they refuse to leave also check out your local harassing communication statuettes file police reports if you want to do more you may want to have a xxx party lawyer Center a cease and desist via official means and inform her that this is severely misguided and that all future attempts at slander / libel and harassment will be vigorously pursued I'm sure she will cross the boundary for all of them at some point she seems off her rocker these sites often have erroneous information and they make a very loose and bizarre associations between people sorry this happened to you I would go to the cops with this not a lawyer document everything in file a police report if she does anything of the sort again honestly you should file a police report for the first time not advice after heel secondly maybe just like send her a screenshot that you have her phone number just show her the screenshot of the other lady with your phone number updates she seemed really stuck on my mum's first name but say Jane so I did some reverse searching of my own mostly my name comes up it took additional digging to find a different name related to that number apparently the woman with my old phone number is also a Jane that crazy lady already had knowledge of and on this Jane's profile my mum's full name is listed as an alternate associated possible name Wow I'm assuming she searched the number my name came up with a Jane as a relative slash associates and she was looking for a Jane anyway thank you all I didn't post location because I realized too late that I was signed into my normal accounts I will make a police report tomorrow and ask if they can just give her a call and tell her to knock it off she has stopped calling and messaging my dad thinks it's funny but my mum is concerned because I have a young sibling also doesn't appreciate the trouble this woman could have caused if my dad wasn't so chill also we'll be looking into how to remove my name and number from these websites it's freaking scary seeing all this information on there I have seen a couple services that you can pay to do it for you thank you for sending me removal info will be reading over the weekends it's a nice way to end that one don't you think righty-o and next post is by its tiny Rick 86 titled old boss is withholding last paychecks until I come in for an exit interview so last week I just up and left my job I'm a subcontractor for a small plumbing company in Western Michigan essentially we are subcontracted to do jobs for this company but they treat us like we are actual employees we never signed any forms when we were hired in besides a form telling us if we lost our gas cards to pay for gas in our vans we would have to pay a fee that's it technically we're not actual employees for this company seeing how we don't get insurance vacation time or anything like that this is a shady company that does shady work they partake in numerous illegal activities that pertain to plumbing laws here in Michigan and these people would take from your paycheck if you so much as inconvenience them or if they had to send you back out to a job site again they would not pay you and take more money from your paycheck we would work 80 plus hour weeks and still be expected to take no time off or they would take more money out of your paychecks this morning my old boss texted me telling me that I would need to come in and do an exit interview in order to receive my final few paychecks otherwise they are not going to pay me for them at all this is three weeks worth of work that they are going to withhold from me and I honestly don't know what to do these are terrible people who I don't want to ever see again any help or advice would be greatly appreciated you don't have to play games for your paycheck you can file a wage claim with the Michigan Department of Licensing and regulatory affairs I am NOT a lawyer besides filing a wage claim I would let the licensing agency know what this company is doing did you get a w-2 or 1099 if you're a w-2 employee file a claim with your state departments of Labor if you're a 1099 you'd have to sue him in courts you might also want to look into whether you were misclassified as a contractor since that puts a higher tax burden on you and some employers will try to do that while treating you like an employee RP should go to the Department of Labor anyway as a first step shady companies like this tend to incorrectly whether on purpose or by mistake classify people as 1099 rather than w-2 a similar situation to Opie has happened me a place I was contracting for tried to not pay me I was venting to a friend of mine who happened to work at DOL not in any related position and he told me it sounded like I was misclassified and told me to make an appointment to talk to someone in the wage claim departments I did just that and after a quick check of everything they determined that I was indeed classified incorrectly and they went to bat for me and pursued it as if I were a normal w-2 employee not only did they collect the owed wages but a punitive fine on top of that the state brought me a check for the missing wages plus fine then did a full investigation of the company's labor practices ultimately it led to the company shutting down RP set up an appointment with your Department of Labor's wage claim division worst case they tell you that they can't help and you'll have to sue them on your own best case they find they do actually have jurisdiction and will handle everything for you very helpful information thank you I'll be making an appointment tomorrow since the office is closed today there is a list published by the IRS that goes over the details of who can be considered a contractor and who must be considered an employee the biggest thing that got them in my case is they controlled our schedule they told us to what time we had to be there in the morning to pick up our routes it was installing DirecTV and what days we had to work I even tried to call out one day due to running a high fever and was told we've already had too many call-outs you have to come in there were other issues as well but that one was the most blatant and made it very clear they were in the wrong right out of the gates literally in the same boat friends I puked 12 times in a customer's home once in a buckets and when I told my boss he said tough go get some cold medication another time we had a negative 14 degree day and my van didn't have any heat in it when I told him that he said go buy a blankets you've given me a lot to look into I cannot thank you enough and now update Michigan boss won't pay after I left my job so I would like to thank everyone that gave me advice on how to help it helped ease my mind greatly now on to the details following what everyone suggested I went to LA RA Licensing and regulatory affairs and reported my old place of employment for not paying me around a month worth of checks after I left I tried one last time to get my money from my old boss when I asked him why he wouldn't give it to me he said and I quote you screwed me over now I'm gonna screw you over that royally pissed me off I felt hopeless when I read that knowing someone intentionally was hurting my personal funds because I left his company a shame but that's when I found out I was still a part of the email system now I know this sounds bad but they kept payroll on the email and I was looking to see if they were even planning and paying even their lara was just about to begin investigating this is when I heard from the IRS saying I was misclassified as a subcontractor when I was really supposed to be a w-2 employee I found my records in the email and sure enough I signed a w-2 when I started essentially the investigation ended up concluding and my old boss has to pay Lara back along with some hefty fines his shop is actually set to close in a matter of weeks karma is a [ __ ] thank you all again all righty oh that was a nice one now we're on to our next one bye user witty funny username titled woman claiming to own our property gave us a handwritten eviction notice in Kentucky to preface this my dad was gifted the house and property that we currently live on by his mother in 1991 it's right below where her house used to since she died in 2006 and a woman and her husband bought her house in 2010 and claimed they bought our property as well my dad informed her that he had owned the property since 1991 and had proof then he took her to courts in court she did not hire a lawyer and tried to represent herself the judge told her that she couldn't claim rights to our house because she didn't buy it or owned it's earlier today she left a handwritten note on our door that said I have a buyer for this property and do you have 30 days to evict the premises by speaking to our lawyer tomorrow but I am very stressed right now about it and then wondering if she has any chance of being able to evict us thank you for any responses so della Howell says if you've already gone to court and established that she does not earn the property I don't see how she could possibly sell the property that she doesn't earn see what your lawyer says they're going to be more familiar with your history regarding this neighbor Thanks I was young when they first went to court with her and now I'm super stressed about it's not a lawyer consult with your lawyer but I think you also need your lawyer to send a cease-and-desist letter and a no trespassing sign enforced by calling the police every single time these people are their friends guests or people they're pretending to sell your property to set foot on your land you may also want to get a surveyor I would also make sure that you had a good gait and a good fence and some security cameras as well as rose bushes by all the windows and motion activated lights everywhere there is nothing to be overly stressed about real property is one of those rare parts of our legal system where paper rules all assuming everyone recorded everything with a Register of Deeds properly yes I know big assumption the RO D knows the current legal status of every piece of real property the problem comes into play when survey is wrong transfers upon death are not recorded or other problems occur etc in those circumstances litigation to establish ownership or quiet title has to occur it's hard to tell what court proceedings your dad had but it smells of a quiet title action this simply establishes that he lawfully owns the property as it is recorded talk to the lawyer but don't sweat it's real property is pretty hard to steal this is a hassle and pain in the ass but it will get resolved good luck in addition to all the great advice listed already contact the major online real estate such as Trulia and Zillow to see if the property is listed if it is reported to the site is fraudulent and documents that to screen captures etc definitely it sounds like she's trying to scam buyers as well hopefully whatever fraudulent documentation she has won't clear it as a title reports maybe even go a step further and put a sign in your yard saying buyer beware if a crazy woman tries to sell you this house be warned that she does not own it with a copy of the deed posters as well and now back to the main post edits I made a few calls this morning to some local offices it is for sure that we are in the home on the lands but there's no document of who owns the property the lady I spoke to said there was a deed and then just wasn't so we're going to a deed office today to clear it up edit to here is the letter mrs. my mum's name I crazy neighbor owner of the property is giving you 30 days to evict the premises we are in the process of selling the property and already have a buyer edit 3 we spoke to some people this morning and apparently it's still very muddy what happened as far as we can tell there was a mix-up somewhere between my father receiving the deed from his mother and the crazy neighbor buying the property above us at this point it seems the best option is to lawyer up and now on to the update so a few days ago I made a person here asking from some advice relating to a woman trying to say she owns my property and attempting to evict us we have everything figured out now sir I figured I'd post a small update crazy lady has not come back to our house or contacted us in any way we spoke to the city and county officials and have gotten proof of ownership of our property including the fact that we paid out fudging property tax today and are beginning to take steps to get a restraining order on the crazy lady thanks for everyone's advice and jokes that really helped when I was stressing out you're pretty good when you're good read it alrighty and our last post for the day guys by eyebrows shampoo titled alter mistook the washer and dryer even though the offer they signed said they would leave it pretty self-explanatory this is in Kansas so we just moved to a new home yesterday in the sellers disclosure the washer and dryer were listed as negotiable and since they were in pretty nice Knick we went ahead and included them as part of our offer we went back and forth a few times but no one brought up the washer and dryer and eventually our offer was accepted yesterday we got to our new house and they were gone we messaged our realtor who pulled up the signed offer and confirmed the washer and dryer were supposed to be included she asked the listing agent who said they weren't supposed to be part of the sale but were accidentally listed as negotiable no one caught this or said anything and we were certain we would get them with the house my realtor is checking with her broker today but what kind of recourse could we have here would this hold up in a small claims courts is it even worth it to try and get the washer and dryer back or get a credit from the sellers for a new one we're just low on cash at this point from the Merv and really don't need this right now I'm not sure if they should go into contracts or real estate so please let me know if I need the changes Thanks and kitchen vomit says it doesn't matter if it wasn't supposed to be included if they signed the documents with those things included then they were included it sounds like the realtor screwed up and is hoping to not have to admit it to their clients possibly they were supposed to remove those items from a counteroffer but forgot so right now they could just be hoping that you will let it slide so they can save face not end up out-of-pocket for their mistake and not lose out on potential referrals with your signed documents and correspondence showing that they definitely took them you should be able to win in to small claims courts for the appliance value not only value for the appliances but also installation to use but you're not getting enough for the new appliances if the washer / dryer was 10 years old you're getting fair market value for 10 year old used appliances I don't know for sure how much that is but I suspect it's about $200 total unless they were really high-end have to decide whether that's worth going into the court at that points yeah don't overlook that you only get the depreciated value in court if you win the whole point of fair market value is that it's what the appliances are worth on the market if what I pee once is a nice used washer and dryer then Opa should buy a nice used washer and dryer not cheap new and someone else says this will hold up in small-claims plenty fine if the sellers aren't willing to make you haul without it's as he mentioned if it does go to small claims you very likely won't be getting the actual items back just money based on their value and if you were given a reasonable offer to that effect you should probably just take it to save time and efforts all right and the RP posted a small update in their post updates the listing agent sent us five hundred dollars to put towards another set we just took it and we'll use it towards a new purchase thanks everyone for the inputs I'm glad we didn't need to find it's my blade titled wife and I had IVF done recently possible HIPAA violation so a few months ago my wife and I recently went through IV the fertility clinic makes it part of their process to test all patients for gonorrhea chlamydia no big deal I guess a real issue is that the lamp company sent the bill to my wife's workplace it was addressed to her but her workplace opened the bill this was really embarrassing for my wife because the HR lady saw the bill it only showed a line item for chlamydia /gp amplification in an attempt to save face she had to explain alpha infertility issues which is hard for her to do after making some phone calls it appears the fertility clinic filled the forms out correctly and the lab sent the bill to the wrong address when I called them they apologized and said they'd look into it they followed up with us by sending a copy of the form the clinic sent in which was filled out correctly they claimed that it was the clinic's faults but the forms showed otherwise we were upset with this but decided to just move on that was all a few months ago well today we received the other bill I guess one for each of us I don't know why this one took so long this was again sent to my wife's workplace and again opened is this a HIPAA violation thanks now our man in red sleeves in the comments says make a HIPAA complaints to the Federal Office of Civil Rights it's available in web form on their websites they'll evaluate it and potentially do an investigation just note this might take a long time because there are a lot and it may not result in anything also you should know that HIPPA currently provides no compensation for breach victims so it's just a punitive measure at most thank you we're just going to file the complaints we weren't looking for any sort of compensation we just want the lab to realize and earn their mistake if it is actually a violation the online complaint works scan a copy of the bill and attaches proof I filled a complaint against a third party medical provider for my company contracts with four employees they sent a mass email to patients in the two field instead of blind CC with medical info that all my co-workers could see the investigation took maybe five months but the government took it seriously and sent someone to their offices to retrain all their staff on compliance and privacy that is all I wanted to make sure that it didn't happen to anyone else if you are really frustrated you can also talk to your state AG they are empowered to enforce hipper as well to add to this just because there is no compensation doesn't mean you should follow through if this happens to you the penalties can be very steep and hopefully will hopefully make them real valuate their process to prevent this kind of thing from happening again to you or any of their clients I work in compliance in health care and it is taken very seriously no one should be subjected to embarrassment or exposure by their health care providers and another comment says this is conflicting advice so just to clarify the business isn't liable for any kind of violation per diem m5o one point one point five point one an organization at the direction of its president or chief executive may receive mail for any persons sent by title or name at its addresses interestingly it may direct to receive mail addressed somewhere else if it is addressed including the organization's name so the postal law is not violated the secretary promptly gave to bill to your wife so you don't have any claim against the business as far as the health care provider the question will be did they have authorization to mail it to your wife at the business address if your wife didn't give them the address and they just looked up her work address and mailed it to her it would seem to be a clear violation of HIPAA but if she listed that as an alternate address etc that could imply that it is acceptable to send stuff to her at that address thank you for your reply the IVF clinic filled out the forms for the lab work the forms have a section for employer info so they put what information they had it wasn't an alternative address section in that case I think you have a good case I don't see how that could imply that the information could be sent there once the compliance office investigates I suspect they will find this is not their standard practice and someone just copied the wrong one definitely a good thing that you made a complaint so that they can sort it out and at the top of their posts opie puts edit thanks to everyone for their replies we decided to file a complaint and let the investigating agency decide if there was a violation and that's not all guys because there is an update wife and I had IVF done recently possible HIPAA violation question mark updates my wife and I had put this out of our minds and haven't thought about it in months however today we received a letter from the lab that we felt violated HIPPA they confirmed that there was a HIPAA violation and decided to reimburse us the cost of the lab work amazing they stated they would pass their findings on to the office for civil rights thank you all in related news our first child is due Tuesday congratulations Mount my blade I'm very happy for you alright and now our next post is by user neighbor issue you titled neighbor will not stop taking down or destroying mezuzah New York City so my girlfriend and I had recently moved into an apartment together right away our neighbor from a few doors down made it apparent that he was a bit of a character he professed extreme levels of amazement that we are both women as if he had never seen a gay couple before joined our housewarming party without invitation we chalked it up to weird all the dude stuff and left it then it got weird our mezuzah was removed from its spot on our outer doorway three times at first I thought I installed it badly but it was layered kind of neatly against the door it wouldn't fall flat that way finally I ran into neighbor in the elevator and he taught me to stop putting gaudy decorations on our doorway it's White's the same color of the paint I told him it was religious and ignored him I emailed our landlord who replied he would tell him to knock it off okay but on Wednesday the mezuzah was shattered like someone had thrown it and yesterday the neighbor told us we absolutely had to stop putting it up my girlfriend and I are very distressed and upset I'm not sure what we need to do here anymore is this lawyer stuff police well your neighbor is likely trespassing and vandalizing your property but while you had some evidence you do not have clear proof of that yet I will second to the suggestion of a video camera pointed at the door to catch them the next time they commit these crimes I would also immediately file a police reports so you have proof that this is a recurring issue potentially a hate crime - given the religious nature of the decoration but mezuzahs are often on the outer door frame sir I'm not totally sure if it is trespassing in case you're hesitant about involving the police the reason you're being told to involve them now is that if things escalates and I have a feeling they will you're going to want as official a paper trail as possible the longer and more official your paper trail the better off you are plus it's only going to take a few minutes to make the report anyway besides what others have said with good advice about police etc you should keep reporting this to your landlord this is religious discrimination / harassment occurring in housing so your landlord is obligated to do something about it if you report it to him and he fails to act you can file a fair housing complaint against your landlord for failing to act properly to prevent and stop religious harassment most likely the fastest reacting place to do this would be the New York City Commission on Human Rights again note this is most likely to be against your landlord not the neighbor and would be regarding your landlords failure to act and in order to make the case you have to keep reporting this to the landlord so that he has an opportunity to act I didn't know about it because they never reported it will be a defense if you do not report what is going on to the landlord in writing so that you have evidence you did report it's best case scenario the landlord might actually do something about it so obviously then don't report him for housing discrimination and take care of the problem and now update neighbor removing mezuzah and might see first I would like to thank everyone for the good advice except for the person who messaged me telling me I wasn't a Jew since I'm a lesbian you stink what happened was not very exciting I again emailed my landlord telling him that the mezuzah has been destroyed and that my girlfriend and I were considering filing a police reports if this occurred again I also went over to my neighbor directly told him exactly what a mezuzah once what him destroying it meant and that if it happened again the police would be involved I don't know if that did the trick or the landlord talked to him again but it's been up for a week with no issue and he said sorry when my girlfriend saw him in the laundry room don't know if that was directly related to this but I'll take it thanks again for the advice just a quick aside after the post got locked I got many personal messages telling me to contact the Shomron I have been spit on by Shaun rim in Williamsburg because I wasn't dressed from or holding hands with my girlfriend and they have a troubling history regarding cases in which they have beaten black men I doubt they would help me and I think people should evaluate if they truly the best course of action all right and our next post is by user aggravating vanilla titled blind furry sexually harassing me at work in Florida because why wouldn't it be Florida I'm 18 and I work part time Starbucks in Florida along with another servicing job I'm a girl and I just finished losing a considerable amount of weights and I'm receiving attention for the first time in my life and I'm still not really used to dealing with it I do know that the way I'm being treated now is very screwed up but I'm not sure how to handle it there's a man who started coming in every day who I've interacted with every shift of mine for the last month he is at least in his mid-20s and comes in wearing a tail and making furry jokes very often he is somehow visually impaired and he brings in his service animal to guide him and he makes sexually charged and inappropriate jokes every time that I've interacted with him regardless of whether I'm making his drink taking orders or giving drinks if I'm not at the counter he yells inappropriately the worst example I can think of is him ordering a Papa Chino that we offer and letting his dogs start to lick it and then holding it back to me for the two favorite female dogs in my life he says with a giant smile on his face before licking the top himself it's usually not nearly that bad but it's pretty similar he has pulled up inappropriate drawings on his phone and asked if I liked doggy style that specific Papa Chino incidents was two days ago and his behavior continues to get worse he does not seem to be severely mentally ill with anything and I think he's very aware of how uncomfortable he makes me my manager generally isn't someone who is easy to get along with and when I approached him with this he essentially hand waved away my complaints and told me that he couldn't do anything and that dealing with this was part of the job he also explained that he knew about specific guy because one of my co-workers already spoke to him on my behalf without me asking so I know it's not just me but he can't do much because the guy is disabled I know that that's ridiculous but I'm not sure where I go with it it's not like I can really argue back can anyone help me out with what to do I currently live alone and I need this job but this one guy has turned what is otherwise a really fun and nice place to work into a place that makes me sick Thanks I would escalate this issue to corporate I would document each incident with dates and times including your managers responses it is absolutely not part of your job to be sexually harassed like this when you say documents what do you mean record it's no recording conversations is risky from birth illegal as well as a practical perspective it's also not at all that useful no one likes listening to recordings it's time-consuming and they're often incomprehensible to the person listening what is far more useful is a simple list of dates times and notes something like this June 16 9:20 a.m. customer Bob showed me porn on his phone June 16th 9:25 a.m. told manager Jim what happened was told to keep serving customer Bob and so on and so forth a simple piece of paper is all you need it's just a log the only thing I'd add is to use the active voice in all of your notes for the sake of clarity June 16th 9:25 a.m. I told manager Jim what happened Jim told me to keep serving customer Bob if you say things like I was told it doesn't specify who told you to do them which is the important part don't leave room for a clever lawyer to call your testimony into question not so clever lawyer here this is good advice don't leave us any wiggle room via ambiguity not a lawyer but have been an assistant manager for Starbucks don't go to corporate Opie you need to go to your DM and make this known your manager doesn't have the power to ban a customer only the DM can the manager should have told the DM about the customer but he sounds untrustworthy I would also let DM know what you told your manager all of this corporate will take six plus months to fix this the DM could fix this in a day or a week and in regards to the dealing with this was part of the job parts no it's absolutely not and he's exposing Starbucks who has already gotten some not-so-nice attention lately - my lawsuit with those dismissive commands there is an employee relations corporate number you can call rights talk to them this is one of those situations that could cut either way I see a hundred thousand angry Starbucks hates blind people tweets when this guy gets banned the cops get called and or an employee finally gives him a piece of their mind Opie should report it to corporates keep a written log and stay professional if I were a Starbucks employee I would assume that I was being recorded by every scam artist looking for bad employee behavior hoping to cash in on Starbucks is recent bad PR this belief is what's driving the managers bad choice to not address the problem but it's not smarts other people can see this customer being disgusting and might stop might already have stopped going to that particular Starbucks because of its hope he needs to go to corporates yes agreed I'm active in the disability community and a lot of people erroneously think you can't fire ban etc anyone with a disability ie you are required to just let them be incompetent or abusive jerks this situation if publicized may initially attract some folks who expressed that kind of belief but it is likely to then be picked up by a big-name disability activists who have disabilities and are close to people with disabilities who will then let people know in no uncertain terms that laws and social norms and so forth absolutely apply to people with disabilities it might be helpful to email the ad a hotline which is a neutral organization that gives the same answer to people on either side of a disability issue they would send you an email saying that of course it is perfectly legal to ban someone with a disability from your business if they are sexually harassing people the contact information is probably goo global and I can also grab it for you when I'm at work later at its a.org / technical assistance there you go guys hope that one helped and last one because this is really good advice by Joan of Arc five not a lawyer a woman who is dealt with a boatload of sexual harassment if you can't get corporate to help you or afraid that it will negatively impact your place environments try the following do not laugh at his jokes do not say anything to him that does not have to do with coffee try the following phrases that makes me uncomfortable that is inappropriate that is sexual harassment he will deny it stick around try to say it's funny try to say something to give you the emotional labor of making him feel better don't when he does this say next customer I'm very sorry that this is happening to you I am very sorry that men in power in your life and disregarding this I'm rooting for you to go to corporate like others have suggested he are but if you don't feel comfortable with that course of action give the above a try lastly people have all kinds of ideas of what you are obligated to do in this situation you are not obligated to do anything it's not your faults at no point have you done anything that constitutes asking for it if the other people in your life start picking apart your behavior trying to imply that you were doing something wrong just remember that Yuma nights he is a gross disgusting horrible human his disability does not give him a free pass to harass women PS big congratulations on your weight loss and now updates blind very sexually harassing me at work sorry for another update so soon not good news I'm an idiot last night I called one of the numbers provided to me and spoke to one of the Employee Assistance people who assured me that they'd get back to me I had a short shift this morning and he came in right at the starts which he often does I bought a mini spiral notebook at the dollar store and recorded the time and exactly what he said / did as someone told me to do a few minutes after he left when there was a lull of people coming in and my manager came and saw and asked me what I was doing he didn't press me or anything but I was dumb and told him what was happening and that I was just recording it's just in case again I've already told him about that customer and he basically ignored the problem and told me to do that - he didn't comment on it at the time beyond saying oh I woke up from a nap less than an hour ago and just checked my texts and he sent me a text telling me to not come into work tomorrow and that my services wouldn't be needed anymore I'm freaking the hell out I won't be able to find another part-time job that fits my schedule I won't be able to move out of this fudging town I feel like I'm going to puke I'm so ticked at that dude and my manager and myself for not doing the note book later I was told to edit this to formally add a question or I wouldn't receive advice I mean just what's the best thing to do from here thought it was obvious I meant that sorry Thanks you're not an idiot's your manager is covering their ass employments lawyer pretty much now he finds you for that definitely talk to corporates pronto looks like you have a good case for a juicy lawsuits they may just offer you severance to go away when you call and then fire the manager this all appears to be non-standard you are okay the manager is trying to cover his ass contact an attorney right away who would love this case free consultation is also helpful potential case of victimization call your local Community Legal Center or friendly employment lawyer also write effectual time and date chronology of everything that has happens the line I am seeking advice and considering my options might clarify the managers mind okay and that's where we stand on that one they did post another update to this but they removed it as soon as they posted it so I was hoping there would be a third part to this series but I feel like that's a good place to end this story I'm gonna assume that they did call a lawyer and did it do a pro bono case which is what any normal person would do so yeah that's a shaky ending it sucks to get fired from a job but the manager was just trying to cover his ass and he's gonna get in a lot of trouble for it anyway guys on to our next post alright now our next one is by user charlatan house titled daycare gave toddler 18 months male medication against their own policy toddler had a severe allergic reaction and has been hospitalized posting for my friend Laura yesterday Laura got a call from her kids day care that her signer Henry 18 months had been taken to the spittle in an ambulance they didn't tell her anything else at that time according to Laura EMS and the ER Doc's said Henry could barely breathe was lethargic and swollen upon arrival he had been given medication by the daycare employees and has severe reaction to it the day care story as Henry was stung by a bee and they gave him benadryl to counteract its which they have previously told Laura they would never do because administering medication to children is against their policies to to the liability furthermore the pediatric ER doctor could find no evidence of a bee sting or bug bite of any kind anywhere on the child leading both Laura and I to both wonder if the daycare workers gave Henry the benadryl because he wouldn't go down for his nap and the bee story is them trying to cover their asses so the big question where does she go from here the word lawyer is rolling around pretty frequently but what kind how would she find one at low cost is this actionable in a way that would be of benefit to Laura and Henry in courts should she be looking into having them pay for his treatments and her miss time from work she's not looking for a cash grab but the kids skin came off his face they should do something at its location in South Carolina Spartanburg County if that matters your friend needs to find a personal injury attorney note this is not the typical scenario for those attorneys so she may need to meet with several attorneys almost all of them offer free consultations or initial visits eventually all will take the case on contingency meaning they will front many if not all of the costs in exchange for a percentage of what she wins but that does not always mean free so she needs to make sure she understands how costs will work that is not my field of law but the question in those types of cases is one if the daycare heard a duty to the child they did too if the daycare breached that duty I think they most likely did but that depends on the additional information and might be disputed 3 whether the child suffered an injury or damages yes and for whether the injuries were caused by that breach of duty it was lawyers will fight about how much damages are and about the breach of duty but the thing to do now is to call personal injury attorneys and find one that will a take the case and be your friend believes will do a good job with the case Hamaker says report the incident to SC child care licensing didn't know that was a thing thank you yes a previous daycare of mine briefly lost my child which happened as I was picking him up I had done extensive research into complaints filed etcetera but something like this hadn't come up I filed a complaint with our licensing board and had to meet with social work ins I asked why they wouldn't have been listed as having this complaint and I was told it is because parents don't know where to file or to file a complaint it's scary to think that maybe they wouldn't have told me about it if I hadn't walked in on it happening I didn't want other parents to go through that feeling of unease of leaving your child with pet people who aren't taking care of her slash him this happened in the middle of the year and there is still no resolution f.y.i government agencies underfunded and all and the Morgan says I'm not in SC but I have worked in daycare centers for over a decade Eames I now operate my own yes your friend absolutely should get an attorney have her check with your area's legal aid for assistance given her concerns about a 41 or have her find one that offers a free consultation she may find one willing to take the case with the goal of being paid when she receives the settlement with the daycare if SC has similar requirements to my states are higher the daycare can't give any medication without the parents providing it's and giving written consents so I agree it sounds like the daycare is trying to cover their asses the first center I ever worked at ended up being closed down because an employee told another worker that they had been giving the infants Tylenol to get them to sleep at naptime and it was reported to the state that's so abhorrent to me I worked with school-aged kids for ten years program through the district and we were so strict with medication everything we had on site was kept in a lockbox and we couldn't even have it there unless all the paperwork was filled out we kept a log of all the meds even if the children weren't there that day hell we had to have a permission slip for sunscreen I can't even imagine a scenario where an employee could give meds without another adult scene our ratio was 1 to 14 infants and toddlers were 1 to 6 I believe edits upon thinking about its infants may have been a one to four ratio they were separate from the preschool room oh god sorry this one's a bit grim but a child recently died in CT from benadryl unlicensed daycare was drugging the kids to make them sleep get that place closed down pronto and now updates daycare gave toddler 18 months male medication against their own policies he had a severe reaction and has been hospitalized first thank you to everyone who responded to the original post your help has been invaluable so at this point the crap has hit the proverbial fan the doctors did some pretty extensive blood work on Henry upon his admission to the hospital and the results are in Henry overdosed on benadryl so it's pretty clear this wasn't an accident there was no bee sting the daycare loaded up this kid with benadryl presumably for nap time in lethal doses for his age slash size and he had a reaction that nearly killed him the daycare his mom right now and not talking Laura is actively looking for a lawyer last I heard the hospital was sending Henry home and she's out of danger he's recovering but it'll be slow and painful TLDR they done screwed up all right guys sir that lost comically we found really linked to this one didn't it Jesus I hope you guys enjoyed this one today tell me what you thought about all the legal advice down in the comments below if you've got any stories of your own abouts you know daycares not looking after toddlers the right way I'd love to hear them down in the comments anyway guys I hope you have a good day night sleep whatever you've been up to and I'll see you in the next episode bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 157,940

Rating: 4.7835255 out of 5

Keywords: LegalAdvice, r/legaladvice, r/legal advice, r/legal, legal advice, Markee legal, Markee, Markee Reddit, Markee Legaladvice, Reddit

Id: TsZzSm6kPBg

Length: 210min 59sec (12659 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 28 2020