r/AmiTheA**Hole For Denying My Sister My Wedding Dress?

g'day there guys perpetually searching for ways to escape reality back at it again with another episode of our /mi the a hall now if you love this content like I do I want you to sit back relax Chuck a prawn on the barbie get ready for some bloody good content posted by user werben jaegerman jensen titled x' would I be the a-hole if I confronted my downstairs neighbor about a really bad smell coming from their apartment it's been stinking up my apartment for months and I just realized where it was coming from today so for the last couple of months I've been noticing a funk in my apartment that seemed to show up in the afternoon I can smell it right now and the only way I can describe it is like really pungent cooked Brussels sprouts it's not every day but it's pretty regular maybe five days out of the week I've spent the last month being hyper vigilant about cleaning because I thought it was something in my apartment now that I've disinfected every nook and have been very good about making sure that any possible smell source is eliminated right away it keeps showing up today it was extra strong and just hit me out of nowhere while I was working from home so I decided the last place it could be is from someone else around me I took a nap and as much as I hate to admit this smelled everyone's doors around me nothing on my floor I went downstairs to the apartment directly below mine and sniffed their front door and the smell almost made me gag it's whatever I'm smelling in my apartment super amplified now what the hell am I supposed to do it's probably some really nasty cooking but am I the a-hole if I knock on the door and ask them not to do whatever this stinky crap is do I call my landlord and let them deal with it I'd say you're not the a-hole for doing it you know it would take some balls obviously to go do that but if it's affecting your quality of life I wouldn't want a stink like that that my brain would never get used to to continually be stinking up my entire life like that's not on I would say yes call the landlord to deal with it I think it's something you can particularly take on yourself but you're not the a-hole for fixing an issue updates on sixteenth of the fifth 11:00 a.m. I woke up at 7:00 this morning and the first thing I did was go look for the package the package is gone sir I assume they're alive I also stayed up until 1:00 a.m. and checked one of their windows it had a light on what I went to sleep and it's now off I don't know I don't think anyone's dead at this point sorry for worrying y'all might just be bad cooking we'll wait to see if the smell comes back this afternoon or maybe they're hiding a dead body I mean it's crazy unlikely but it's possible right call the landlord when the smell is happening let them smell your apartment and make a decision on how to handle it have you seen your neighbor in the last few months not gonna lie it sounds like they could have died the smell is intermittent so I don't think they're dead not sure if you've smelled death before but it's pretty recognizable if you've ever come across a dead animal also with you saying it's mostly in the afternoons generally that's when it's the hottest so if it was a corpse it's probably when it's going to smell more there could be other factors like have you noticed more flies or lack of noise is your neighbor elderly sorry to be so cynical it's just with everything going on at the minute who knows I'd rather hear your neighbor is just a bad cook who now thinks that you're an [ __ ] then then be dead and you're too polite to notice I don't even know who lives below me never seen them before sir I wouldn't recognize him in the building or anything your post got me feeling a little weird and I remembered there was an Amazon delivery package outside of the door when I did my smell check I went down to the lower floor just now and the box is still there if we're unlocked down here in Cali this person should likely be home and that's a long time to leave a package out of your home I think if it's outside tomorrow afternoon I'm calling out of concern for the person inside obviously in the update that was fixed you would not be the a-hole you have a right to enjoy your own space part of living in an apartment complex is being aware of strong smells and loud noises that would disrupt others every now and then is one thing but constantly isn't fair I think your best bet is contacting your landlord or leaving a note before confronting and if you do confronts I'd suggest staying cordial because I think that gets better results either route you have a right to not smell funk in your apartment updates would I be the a-hole if I confronted my downstairs neighbor about a weird smell coming from their apartments sir I called my landlord a couple days after the post to advise of the situation to see what could be done about the smell or see if they could look into it they asked for a description of the smell the time it happens during the day where I smell it's asked about a few general conditions in my apartments and told me they would look into it the whole thing kind of slipped my mind after that phone call to be honest I wasn't super concerned about it being a dead body and thought y'all were crazy but the smell went away about three days later and I never smelled it again I've been stressed out and pretty bummed about life in general so I really didn't give a rat's ass either way what it was I was just happy it was gone and never bothered to follow up on it yesterday I saw a coroner's office vehicle parked out front of my building and I had an old crap moments I waited until today to call my landlord I said I was just following up on the smell because I haven't smelled it and I was also concerned about the coroner's visit yesterday landlord couldn't release too much info but told me that someone had been deceased it was sometime in one of the units and that since I don't know anyone in my building except for highs and buyers so I don't know who it was what apartment or anything and I don't feel close enough to any of my neighbors to ask around but damn that's kind of a bummer that smell was around for a while anyways kind of a sad update I guess but you guys were right dang I knew that someone had probably stolen the package that disappeared description of the smell as rotting Brussels sprouts cemented it in my head thanks for the update Opie no problem the smell probably wasn't from the apartment below me in between the opium now I found out who lives below me it's just a girl who took her package in we say hi and bye to each other unless she was living with a dead body but she been around the last couple days and ever since the ordeal so I doubt it's I took a walk around the building four floors maybe 12 to 14 units per floor two days ago to see if any apartments seem to be empty or vacated and ran across two apartments that seemed to be vacated for sometime nasty windowsills no furniture so maybe it was one of those two they were both two floors below me and directly under our apartments oh man if it was that bad at the girl's apartment door imagine what it was like on the flight below major yikes so if the girl's apartment is the one you smell to the horrible smell outside the door and you think it was an apartment below her then what she was just living with the overwhelming smell of death ten times worse than you so bad it was intensely odorous outside her door quick question for that girl what the hell maybe she has a nose meal and she isn't fair very often and usually stays at a significant others place I hope she is not so excessively polite and afraid of confrontation that she was just miserably putting up with the smell of death all that time a nose mirror is a symptom of covert 19 and can take quite a while to fade imagine if her apartment wreaked of death but it only got bad just after she had the virus oh that nah don't want that thought no thank you posted by user my chicken my rules five four three titles am I the a-hole for telling my sister I think her baby name choices weird my sister is in a third trimester of pregnancy and she's about ready to pop any day now we're all excited about her new baby ever since the pregnancy began my sister and brother-in-law have kept their name choice a secret from everyone even their closest friends and family my sister and I are pretty close we can be dicks to each other every now and then but at the end of the day we'd still take a bullet for each other so last night she decided to share her baby name with me the name is Portobello and yes she did give me permission to share it here like the mushroom and first I thought she was joking but then she started saying how we could just call the kid Bella for shorts there's obviously nothing wrong with Bella but I think naming your kid after a mushroom is weird I told my sister that she can name her baby whatever she wants as long as brother-in-law is on board but she did not take this well she got really irritated pointing out how I have my weird obsession with fried chicken it's kind of true so why can't she have a weird obsession with her favorite mushroom I told her she can be obsessed with that whatever fruit she likes but you don't see me making plans to name my firstborn in the kernel this just made her explode I keep telling her the name is fine and I don't care what the baby is called as long as she's healthy but she's insisting I was being an a-hole once either I don't care what the baby's name is I'm just excited to be an auntie Amaya the a-hole I'm gonna go with no I don't think you're the a-hole for pointing that out you know there are some weird names out there especially Karen if you name your kid Karen like in the story yesterday you know it's gonna have some flack for the kid later on in life I think everyone accepts that it's gonna turn some eyes portobello that's another one that's gonna turn eyes unfortunately you know we can't just hide the truth you mean like oh like the mushroom cool all right anyway I think you're not the a halt for pointing it out I just don't think you should force your opinion on someone but you haven't here not the a-hole you didn't even insult the name or tell her not to he just didn't give the reaction she wanted she knows it's weird and is deflecting based on that she's the a-hole for giving a kid a name that could get her bullied would get bullied there's no way that's going to go well I wonder will the kids start with jokes about fungi or porta-potties tough question I didn't even consider porta-potties but considering they involve poop and pee pee I think porta-potties would win it was honestly my first assumption when she said the nickname would be Bella like no Ted nicknames gonna be porta owner not the a-hole but get ready in grade school when everyone starts calling her porta potty oh god I didn't even think of this I'm a 42 year old mum and that's the first thing that popped in my head please try very hard to save your knees I hope she sees this post and all the comments and changes it's the name is terrible she will be bullied until she turns 18 and changes her name to either Bella or Isabella my husband had a moment like this when we were trying to have a baby I had a terrible craving for vanilla coke he said he thought I was pregnant and maybe we could give the baby the name vanilla I was like um no how about Vanessa we would get the reference spent no one else would he agreed immediately I think the second he heard himself say it he knew it was terrible just got a little excited you have to consider the kid's life not just the stuff you like I had an argument about that with my older sons father I think you'll appreciate he wanted to name him [ __ ] after a character in a book I tried explaining all the reasons that would be a bad idea from it being a ridiculous name to no one understanding the reference I finally got him to back down by saying how about we name him the doctor this was over 20 years ago and few people in the state's new doctor who back then updates am I the egg hole for telling my sister I think her baby name choice is weird hey everyone my sister asked me to give you all a quick update on the name of my new niece here she was born Friday night after I made my last post my sister was totally mortified at the prospect of her daughter being called port-a-potty in school not to mention all the fungus jokes you guys successfully convinced her Lowell she did some more deliberating with brother-in-law but she wouldn't give me the new name until after the birth was over it's totally like how to do that to me anyway in the hospital they announced the new name choice which is Annabella it actually works perfectly because both my family and brother-in-law's have a beloved relative named Anna who was no longer with us and my sister can still call her Bella for shorts thanks so much for your inputs everyone baby bella should be coming home sometime today I can't wait to get to know her lo I will never get over Portobello best post I saw she still wants it to be a nickname which I'm fine with I'm looking forward to buying mushroom themed stuff for her that does sound like a really cute nickname huh it would suck if she ended up hating mushrooms there or being allergic to them you should save this thread print it out for your niece give it to her when she graduates from high school and tell her you're welcome maybe I will thanks for the idea love Mel when he's through and person update of her response in 18 years if you're able to 18 years from now am I the a-hole for telling my niece about the awful name she was almost given hmm posted by user am I the a whole wedding dress queue titled am I the a-hole for cutting up and altering my wedding dress into a functional dress instead of giving it to my sister who can't afford an expensive dress I need an unbiased opinion on this because I don't know if I was the a-hole throw away because I'm an active in other communities and I don't want this to mix so I was supposed to get married two months ago to my ex partner of five years sadly we broke it off because he cheated on me on his bachelor party with a stripper I had this beautiful dress that cost me around $2,000 out of my pockets I had been very depressed since everything happened because I felt it was somehow my fault for not being sexy enough or not giving him what he wanted so last weekend I decided to take my power back and I began altering the dress I've been sewing for 15 plus years so I know what I'm doing I cut AB it's changed the color to something a bit less wedding E and after a week of work I had a beautiful gown that I could use for more stuff the problem comes now I uploaded that picture of the dress to Instagram with a caption that said something along the lines of you can change the worst memories or some crap like that my sister hits me up and asks me if that was my old wedding dress and I told her yes she then called me and asked me why I had done I asked her why it was such a big deal and she told me that I could have waited till after her wedding I was so confused then she reminded me that when we were staying at the hotel where my wedding was supposed to happen my mum and sister were there cheering me up and my sister's said something along the lines of oh well if you're not using it I will we all laughed so I thought it was a joke because it was never brought up again after she just asked me once what material it was so I assumed she wanted something similar now my sister is mad at me and my mum says she understands our point of views but that I could have waited five more months until after her wedding to take my power back am i the a-hole I don't see how you're the a-hole for that your husband cheated on you so you know you want to get rid of that memory you want to change it into something that is positive for you and the sister didn't bring it up it's on her that she didn't formally ask you and say hey I was serious about that I really do want to use the wedding I'm strapped for cash I love your dress and it would be a great use for it that didn't happen the sister just assumed and what happens when we assume kids mm-hmm and that's what happened Opie is not the a hole in this situation edits yes he screwed the stripper please stop asking me added to what the hell is wrong with some of you suddenly I'm the a-hole full even my ex for cheating on me because it doesn't count because it was his bachelor party do you know how relationships work are you also going to tell me that if he cheated on a Saturday that it wouldn't count or if he left the country this is hilarious coming from a sub that says cheetahs are the worst people in this world cheating is cheating period not the a-hole I think it's pretty insensitive for your sister to expect to use your wedding dress she needs to consider how painful it would probably be for you to sit at her wedding and watch her walk down the aisle in the dress you were supposed to wear for your wedding which then turned into a terrible memory you do what's best for you and you should feel proud of yourself for reclaiming your power and turning the dress into something new and positive for you honestly I think I would have felt like that and I know it's stupid because it's just a dress but I don't know if I would have given it to her for that and I feel horrible but it's not stupid at all and you shouldn't invalidate your own feelings I think it would be way more surprising if you didn't feel that way about it I think even the most cynical the wedding industry is a scam bride would be upset about their sister walking down the aisle in the dress under these circumstances and as much as it sucks to plan a wedding on a budget it was crazy insensitive of her to ask to use it the day of apparently sincerely and then follow up and then be angry at you if you're feeling forgiving or otherwise unconditionally supportive could she wear the dress as it is you're obviously under no obligation to offer it's just a thoughts if it's altered enough and too the color has changed just enough out of the range of wedding colors her sister probably wouldn't want it anyway it seems the changes are what bothered her and she didn't want it anymore because of that based on her reaction at least updates am I the a-hole for cutting up and altering my wedding dress into a functional dress instead of giving it to my sister who can't afford it I posted approximately five months ago about my sister being mad at me for not giving her what was supposed to be my wedding dress so after being assured that I did nothing wrong I decided to try to talk it out with my sister so I tracked calling her but she had blocked my number I was very confused and talked to my mother she was trying to still stay out of it and I got a little mad and said that it was not fair that my sister was not right because she never formally asked me and how was I supposed to just guess that she wanted it she tried to justify her but in the end also accepted that my sister was wrong nonetheless she told me to just give her space and that she will come to terms with it herself I waited a few days till I met her in the supermarkets at first she tried to act like she didn't see me but I planted myself in front of her she was just rolling her eyes saying she had places to be and I just said you know I hope you noticed how unfair you're treating me and then left her alone that night I received a call where I was berated for being selfish for about 20 minutes by her I asked her if she was done and asked her if we could talk it out like adults she came over the next night and we had an exhausting fights screaming crying and after all was said and done she actually apologized for everything she was kind of jealous of my dress and of the wedding that I almost had and she was embarrassed that she couldn't afford everything I could and that she felt like she failed as an adult and as a mother and honestly I get it not because I think she's a failure but because I get how it feels if your brain tells you you failed at life because you don't have things that other people have she apologized also because she was trying to blame me for her problems that everything was easier if she wasn't the one to blame we talked a lot more time till I told her that she didn't need a fancy dress and that we could search something basic and I could help her to decorate it with something she agreed and we actually did get to customize a very basic gown as we didn't have much time it's not super fancy sadly due to the outbreak the wedding that was supposed to happen this month was canceled they had a courthouse wedding where she wore one of the dresses and she is celebrating in August if it's possible that's everything so even if I was not an a-hole and my sisters seemed like a brat she was dealing with some heavy feelings and I still love her thanks for the judgement and advice I remember the original post it's always good to read a follow up way people walk it out in the end thanks for updating us I remember it too I often see updates and I'm like what was this but I genuinely remembered this one five months ago a lot simpler time cool the updates very appreciated I remember the original as well I love it when adults can get together and have a talk face to face there's so much miscommunication and so much stuff bottled up it's great when you can just hash it out you sound like you have a great relationship with your sister and I'm a little jealous and you guys are moving ahead thanks for the good feels in this case it was more of one person being an adult and showing this sibling how to be an adults kudos to Opie for showing such an exceptional maturity yeah I would be pretty disappointed if my sibling called me selfish for acting like I owned my own wedding dress and focused on that instead of the fact that I'd lost my partner and all the future plans we had our P was mature ah empathetic and supportive after taking on board a whole lot of angst that didn't belong to her that's character posted by user Sarah the fairest titles am I the a-hole for telling my girlfriend I don't want her to move in sir me and my girlfriend have been dating for about two years now we're both in our mid-20s recently she asked to move in and I said no we've now had multiple arguments over why I don't want her living with me I'm not ready to completely share my personal space with another person I've never had a roommate in my life I'm an only child and my parents would pretty much never home they both travel a lot for work once I turned 13 they pretty much never came home except for holidays and birthdays she keeps telling me it's been 2 years and I shouldn't be scared of her moving in and how it's a bit belittling to feel like I don't love her enough to let her move in she also doesn't have a key either by the way she has a set of toiletries and some clothes at my house but that's about it my mum even agrees with my girlfriend and is calling me ridiculous for being so hung up over it's so anyways am i the a-hole I'm gonna say no if you still need time that's completely acceptable everyone has different tons when they're happy to have someone move into their life move in with them it's a huge commitment and a lot does change as we've seen when people move into apartments together into houses together you get to see what they're like living with them which is completely different to dating them in a lot of circumstances so you know she'll see some things about you you'll see some things about her and that's acceptable and it's okay to wait so I don't think you're the a hole in this situation no one's Nihal here you're entitled to whatever lifestyle you choose but this is also a reflection of commitment issues your girlfriend probably feels like you weren't serious about her and you should acknowledge that choosing this is always going to drive a wedge between you two so be prepared for a breakup I agree that it is about commitments level rather than a space issue when you love someone and want to see if marriage is a possibility then moving in is a good way to express this but there are also people who realize that they don't want to be in a relationship and make an additional commitment at these pivotal points and that is fine if they were both on the same page then they would both want to move in together it is also possible that Opie and the girlfriend have different love languages comparability etc you can guess on its compatibility my point is that the only way either ends up the a-hole here is if either one compromises beyond where they're comfortable and comes to resent the other for it no one's an a-hole here you're perfectly within your rights do not want her to move in but she's not out of line for wanting to move in after two years ideally she shouldn't have asked you about it multiple times but I'm assuming she's doing that instead of breaking up with you do you ever see a point where he would be comfortable with her moving in or would you rather your preference be living apart for the duration of your relationship Opie didn't reply unfortunately ordinary quiet forces if this was a few months into a relationship your reasoning would make sense but you've been in a relationship for two years and the fact you've not given her a key assuming you have a key to her place is really strange so I would say you're the a-hole especially if you want to have a lifelong relationship with her updates am I the a-hole for telling my girlfriend I don't want her to move in so I took my girlfriend to my therapy session last week and we actually talked about moving in together her lease ends at the end of next month and then we'll buy a house together for now we both have keys to each other's places and we're spending the next few weekends over she's happy we're finally moving in and I'm not as terrified as I thought I'd be but it's been fairly easy so far and they still have my studio if I need space it's actually pretty great having her so close honestly she'll move into my place until we find a house so she isn't having to stay at a hotel or anything I'm actually pretty excited to look at houses I've never really had a traditional house-hunting experience so that'll be fun I guess I'm more excited to do those things than actually live in the new house but it's still progress it's not as terrifying as I envisioned living with her would be and it's nice to have her there I do still prefer being in my own bed though sorry she's literally a human furnace even when we're not having sex and I don't like sweating while sleeping I honestly thought that was just a sex thing nope she is just a billion degrees anyway we have some contentious comments here cauldron fire says you are just going to screw yourself do not ever buy a house with someone you are not married to you say you are a person of extremes does an extreme breakup sound good to you you can do what you want but this is utterly stupid I hope you're a troll because an actual human being jumping like this hiding his problems and walking into bad decisions like this is hard to read are you sure it's the wisest to jump from not wanting to live with her to buying a house together maybe try living for a while first for more than just a house-hunting process it's your life though no I don't but I don't know anything other than extremes there's no middle ground with me everything is either zero or 100 oh okay Opie best of luck to you I guess we'll see without one Gary's in a few months maybe am I the a-hole for kicking my ex-girlfriend and her kids out without warning my ex-girlfriend and I both 27 broke up in January after a three year long relationship she had three kids from a previous relationship but I never took a fatherly roll over them as their dad is still really present in their lives I didn't speak to them much even though they all moved in with me about six months after my ex and I started dating after we broke up we decided that until my ex could find somewhere permanent to stay she'd stay at the apartments which is just as awkward as it is I hardly liked her kids as it is and now I have no obligation to them I don't like them living in my house I tried to push them out and then covert hits and decadence in April I met a new girl and we started dating I've been considering asking her to move in with me but I obviously can't do that when I have my ex living in my home I can't even bring her rounds because of the whole situation I brought this up to my ex and she just laughed and said it was tough which ticked me off I told her and the kids to get out and packed their bags quickly for them I know she's okay because her best friend took her in so I don't think I'm in the wrong but she's considering getting the police involved which is insane to me am I the a-hole man I feel like we're missing so many more details here we're just getting a brief rundown of the situation and I'm inclined to just say that this is terrible everyone sucks but it's leaning more so on you sucking [ __ ] I can understand OPI uh this is so messy oh my god it's like watching a dumpster fire I can't take my eyes away I'm just gonna say everyone sucks and leave it at that everyone sucks here your ex had no intention of moving out by the sounds of it five months and no talk of moving you suck because kicking her out like that is almost definitely illegal you should have looked into the laws in your area for eviction procedures and don't get in a relationship with someone who has kids if you don't like kids also why are you rushing these relationships your ex moved in after six months you want to move this new going in white two months I was gonna say exactly this she sucks for not actively trying to find other accommodations after the breakup and in my opinion she also sucks for operating her kids to live with some dude after a few months of dating you suck for kicking them out in one day after all it was the middle of a pandemic and it sounds like this was their home for two and a half years he just get to throw them all out of their own home in one day because you want to bring in a new woman and what's going on with your relationships a woman with three kids that you don't like moves in after only six months of dating and now you're already in a new relationship wanting her to move in after what seems like less than two months while woman number one hasn't even left yet when you move that quickly you end up in these types of situations right here how do you even know that you really like this person enough to commit to living with them or are you just gonna pack her bags up in a few weeks to and then a few weeks after that another one that sounds unhealthy to me you're the a-hole she could pursue legal recourse because of the illegal eviction but I see a bigger problem here which is you seem to be inviting people you barely know and just started dating to move in with you don't assume it is an illegal eviction there are often exemptions in state rules for people in romantic relationships as opposed to the standard landlord-tenant relationship and when they decided to continue cohabitation after breaking up RB said goodbye to those potential exceptions from the sounds of it he told them to move out five months ago and was patient until she started being a dark about it I'm not a lawyer or anything so I don't know but I think that someone's saying I need more time before I move and you allowing that for a while until you finally say no get out isn't illegal at least it shouldn't be I mean yeah he's an a-hole for the way he treated the kids and moving in with people so fast in relationships but on the part he asked about telling them to move out I'd say he's not just my opinion I understand where other people are coming from on this one posted by user slightly silly titled MIT a hole for deliberately getting a nurse fired I'm a nanny for two boys aged nine and six a week or two ago they were cranky with each other all day just arguing and screwing around constantly this happens sometimes no big deal the nine-year-old snapped at his brother yeah well you ain't your brother when you were in Mom's belly it was such an incredibly dark and shocking thing for him to say I immediately separated them told the younger one his brother should not have said that and it absolutely isn't true I put the older brother in timeout and then sat and asked him why he said that to his brother it's true miss Donna told me Donna is a neighbor and also happened to be their mother's prenatal nurse I asked exactly what Donna had said and he replied she said that's why brother is so slow because he had a twin but he ate him when they were in Mom's belly that's why I don't have two brothers instead of one I immediately shut it down and told him that miss Donna should not have said that to him and he shouldn't tell his brother anything that she said I explained that babies don't eat other babies in the womb and it was a terrible thing for her to say I spoke to their mother about it and she was hurt but honestly not surprised she told me she knew Donna had a drinking problem and probably just mentioned something while intoxicated my eyes are getting wider by the minute reading this she also said however that the information Donna's spread was partially true there was a twin and the twin did die in utero there is no way the nine-year-old could have known this without Donna seeing something his mother has never told either of the boys about it she's my boss and these are her kids so I wanted her to decide how to proceed but then she warned me to not report Donna to the hospital she said it would cause problems for her socially in the neighborhood and since Donna's husband works for there H away Oh God he could make their lives miserable with yard regulations and such if she found out who reported her dear Lord it's a double whammy what is he gonna do next cut down the tree and we're gonna get some tree law I ended up calling and reporting Donna anyway it's a huge violation of HIPAA and who knows what other vulnerable women she's exposing if she's willing to get drunk and tell a nine-year-old that his brother cannibalized his twin in the womb what the hell isn't she willing to do I'm sure Donna will be fired over this and I do feel guilty for going against my boss's wishes but I felt it way beyond just her am i the a-hole oh this is so loaded I'm gonna say personally this is my tank on it I think then not the a-hole I think that's really messed up to tell a kid I think you should report someone for that I know a lot of people gonna be like what nor you don't just get someone fired from their job but you broke HIPAA you broke it you can't break HIPAA you know how much trouble you're gonna get in for that and you deserve it for breaking HIPAA to a kid get your drinking problems sorted out I'm gonna say it not the a-hole edit thanks for all the replies unfortunately they seem to be just as divided as I feel I appreciate everyone's inputs for the record I expect repercussions at my job over this and expect to be terminated because of the report I made I knew that going into it and I'm totally fine with that I just wanted to do what seemed to be the morally correct thing regardless after much debate I think I have to go everyone sucks yeah Donna for possible HIPAA violations and for being intoxicated and alone with the child's gone mom for not wanting to report for real but crappy reasons you for going behind Mom's back on the word of a nine-year-old what I'm not even sure your complaint actually follows reporting guidelines as you have no idea and no way to know when Donna may have actually talked to nine year old reports must occur within a 180 day period and while it's likely a nine-year-old wouldn't hold on to that info for longer than that's this info is just weird enough that who knows if you haven't already I do think you need to fess up to mom and give her a heads-up however if you're correct that Donna is violating HIPAA then you did overall do the right thing and I think you can wear your a whole page with pride even if it's with another employer little kids love ammunition and hate secrets there is no way he would have held on to that for five months my experience with my little brother says he probably heard it in the past few weeks however I super agree that everyone sucks yeah except the mum kind of neighbors can be so petty and it'll definitely come back to bite her if people find it out due to the HOA husband's herpes boss probably doesn't want the trouble but if Donna is violating HIPAA laws and then her husband who was on the board retaliates against her the HOA and Donna and her husband could be sued big time this is just a room of people with two pistols and he chants pointing at everyone being like who's gonna make the first move he was gonna do what he's going to call it first I'm gonna be honest here regardless of whether or not this person was in violation of the rules is irrelevant to whether or not Opie is an a-hole the fact that they made the report without knowing the rules and on the words of a nine year old makes her and a whole the subreddit has a really strange morality compass whereby people seem to be absolved if things work out in the end regardless of their intentions if you were beating the crap out of someone on the vague suspicion that they might have stolen something from you and you end up being correct you're absolutely still the a-hole for doing it you just got lucky that you arrived seriously I need to constantly remind myself that reddit morality is absolutely not congruent with real-world morality why is making a report without knowing the rules a problem that makes no sense it's the nurses boss's job to investigate possible HIPAA violations and determine whether any rules were violated laymen aren't expected to know all the rules that's exactly why there is a reporting and investigation process I'm not gonna lie looking at more comments just in reply to that one this is a dumpster fire itself people are not happy about red its moral compass being called out that's for sure not a hole as someone in the health care field this is indeed a major violation of HIPAA laws she needs to be reported to protect the integrity of her position and protect her other patients however please do tell your boss about what you did she deserves to know I agree with this and honestly can't believe the up votes on other replies this is a huge violation of HIPAA it doesn't matter that the mum asked her not to spill the beans her social life is not worth as much as the medical and human rights of every other patient this nurse has taken care of posted by user Jodi varoma titled am I the a-hole for trying to outdo my roommate whenever she has sex I've been living with my roommate for about two years now we have a really nice arrangement and get on well when we both moved in we both had boyfriends she broke up with her soon after and I'm still with mine initially when we moved in we had an agreement that we don't have sex if the other one wasn't home as to avoid any awkward viewing parties or conversations and this happened up until my roommate became the village bicycle oh she started bringing guys back to our apartment literally every weekend bringing them into our space and making me super uncomfortable she then started having extremely loud sex to the point our neighbors could hear and made complaints but that didn't stop her sir my replies that solved the problem then as a way to get her to realize how loud she was being I started initiating sex with my boyfriend whenever he was at the apartment and she happened to have a guy back at first it made my boyfriend uncomfortable that we could both hear each other but went along with it I try to be loud and irritating during it so she can get the hint which he's my boyfriend off last night it happened but for the first time in a while due to lockdown restrictions I tried initiating sex with my boyfriend but he instead pushed me back onto the bed and told me to get off him is they only once sex with him when it's to pee off my roommates and he then went and told my roommates that I was insecure and that's why I always had sex when she did my boyfriend and I on speaking nor on my roommate and I am I the a-hole what do you even say to this oh my god is this even real life am I reading this right what is going why was that you a solution why did you choose that you're just gonna out class someone that's intentionally doing this okay what's wrong with you everyone sucks here in this situation I've there why that was the answer it's so stupid for thinking that will solve the problem why I just want to know why I repeat everyone sucks I tried looking for responses I couldn't find because their account got suspended I wonder why everyone sucks yeah except for your boyfriend's telling the roommate that she's insecure it doesn't excuse him totally agree he should not have gone to the roommate and said that she was insecure though I can kind of see how he would start viewing her that way why screw with your own relationship in the process ope you were aware your boyfriend was uncomfortable and annoyed with what you were doing yet you continued he must have felt pretty crappy knowing that you kept initiating intimacy with him just so roommate would maybe get the hint did you ever once use your words and actually talk to her about the issue everyone sucks here you're the a-hole you're basically using your boyfriend is a sex doll in some patios pissing contest between you and your roommates you are very much the a-hole yeah that would really hurt me sex is supposed to be a lovely thing when you're in the loving relationship and she used him for petty reasons ah I'd be out this is literally this scene from Forgetting Sarah Marshall and so I could think as I was reading this another fake of the a home first shocking I'm gonna have to watch that movie now posted by user skew screw Ukrainians what they ever do titled am I the a-hole for outing my cousin as gay my cousin Sally 24 is getting married soon and my cousin Megan is gay Australian say Megan I know everyone else says Megan Australia is a weird country all of the other cousins know this and I'm sure some adults do too my family is open-minded like we're mostly all libertarians I guess so nobody gives a crap what other people do and Megan is planning on hijacking Miceli's wedding to come out as gay there and post it on Tech Talk for views I told her that doing that is very selfish and a dick move and Sally's wedding is about Sally and her husband not for you to announce you're gay she told me to pee off and let her dream she wants to come out and to have everyone congratulate her for her bravery and crap I told her nobody's gonna care and they'll just be like I coul be yourself she kept planning this and after a couple of weeks I knew this was serious and she was going to hijack Sally's wedding so at a different family events I basically told everyone Megan was gay and as I expected nobody gave a crap they were just like alright cool we still love you Megan later cried and said I ruined her special moments of coming out and I'm such an a-hole to me coming out is stupid gay people shouldn't be treated any differently than straight people and I don't actually care when some celebrity was someone tells me they're gay Arpi you're entitled to your opinion for sure but Jesus how turn deaf can you be I understand what you're trying to say I just and it doesn't mean I accept that that's a really stupid way of putting it and I feel like you're very ignorant come on I feel like there were better ways to handle this than to just scream it out in front of everyone you feel like you can know a 14 year old but you don't you're not them you don't know how much this is going to affect her there's so many things in this that I can't even comprehend myself I think that everyone does suck here in this situation the fourteen-year-old definitely definitely should not be trying to destroy a wedding but she's 14 I don't think she completely grasps just how important the wedding is because not everyone does at that age so everyone sucks I'm gonna leave it at that everyone sucks yeah obviously Megan sucks for planning to ruin Sally's wedding and make it about her but it wasn't your place to out her to the family I think you should have just told Sally she was planning to hijack her wedding to make a personal statement and let Sally confront Megan herself couldn't have said it any better and before IP asks yes it's important for someone to come out to the world as who they are because unfortunately we don't live in a world where people can be open about their sexuality and no one will bat an eye but announcing it at someone else's wedding is not the time to do it neither is hijacking someone's announcements Opie exactly this thank you for attempting to stand with the LGBT community but coming out has to be on that person's terms not saying they were right to hijack someone else's wedding for it but we still live in a world where if you're gay or trans or whatever and to live in the wrong country then it's illegal to execute them or stone them to death on the streets and even in first world countries people get disowned by family everyday for not wanting to repress who they are anymore personally I'm transgender and every time there are meetings for trans people here by the LGBT community there's always at least one person there that has to hide it from their parents or whose parents think it's just a phase or anything along those lines I agree that it is stupid that coming out as LGBT can't be as simple as by the way I hope you don't mind but I'm gay okay cool so what are we having for dinner but that just isn't possible in this day and age and why I am thankful that your family accepted her for being gay there was always that slight chance that your trust in them being accepting was wrong and they wouldn't if all of them hadn't accepted it and shunned her out of the room with a screaming contest would you still feel justified in outing her everyone's accion I think yeah thank you goes back to that comment they got a lot of flack and the other one just because something does go right doesn't mean it reverses the decision in the end you just got lucky and I think Opie got lucky in this situation posted by user sunflower better titled x' mi the a-hole for telling my sister to get over her stillbirth and be grateful for what she has oh boy some people just say the darndest things don't they my sister and I have never gotten on that well we're only ten months apart so struggled to have our own identities outside of each other when she was 19 she got pregnant and started her family with her now husbands she had three kids and then trained for a fourth which was stillborn with no warning understandably she was devastated but this was ten years ago now and she's had two children since to him she's got five kids that's a lot she's always used it as an excuse for things if she wants a bit of attention from our parents she brings it up and they're straight there if she's late to a family gathering oh sorry I'm late we were visiting the baby's grave oh I'm sorry I'm late I'm just sad about baby and I do understand it but I was told at 14 that I'm infertile so for her to be like that when she has five healthy children always feels like a massive kick in the teeth a few nights ago her and her family came over to my husband and Di's house as well as our parents and other sister who's a few years older than us the anniversary of her still births was the day before so I was expecting it to be brought up at some points I asked her to help me cook dinner and when she brought a tray out of the oven she didn't look where she was going and burnt me on the arm her excuse was that she was thinking about the baby that should have been 10 years old today I tried to push it out of my mind to keep the peace it gets to eating our dinner and it's all her and her husband to talking about I asked about how her actual living kids are doing and she brought it back to her stillbirth I asked her how her job was going and she somehow managed to bring it back I was getting absolutely sick of it so I just said do you not think it's time you should be grateful for the kids you have get therapy and get over it she burst into tears of course and her husband called me a [ __ ] before leaving with her my parents are absolutely furious with me saying you know what he's been through and even my husband is saying it was uncalled for am I the a-hole ah man I mean what is there to say in this situation I feel like if it was me I just have to keep letting it happen I wa I personally would not even have the ability to say what Opie said there I don't think it was the right thing to say but I'm gonna care with everyone sucks you're in this situation she's still holding on to it and I can completely understand why she's still holding on to it but there is a time in a place it's called being Ennis the therapists office and they can help you understand that you don't have to keep putting that on everyone else because I don't think it's healthy to continue to put on anyone else especially when it happened ten years ago no one continues for like ten years you've got some serious problems there and I think that she needs help she needs a lot of help so I think it's also not right for Opie to do it her to continue to talk about it think everyone just sucks here in this situation one yes it was uncalled for and mean for you to say that - ten years is a long time for her to be bringing it up a lot three but her child died four but she is being insensitive about your infertility you should have sat her down and said infertility is very hard for me I know what she went through was terrible but I will never have children and you have five healthy children it is very hard for me to hear you discuss the loss of your child when I know I will never be able to even have one of my own everyone sucks here you more than her I think quite honestly I feel like Opie is everyone sucks here edited because it does seem more fitting considering the circumstances and the day the outburst happened although sister is the bigger a-hole she had to hear about it for ten years and not in a way of I'm sad because my child died but in a way of I'm sorry I'm late I was mourning I'm sorry I couldn't do this I was mourning and I imagine I'm sorry you're getting the attention of our parents now but I need it more because morning my mum had two stillbirths with heavy medical procedures attached to it before she had me she wasn't supposed to have me she mentions it sometimes but it's never in a way sorry daughter I couldn't do anything today because I'm still mourning if someone next to you dies you're expected to function like you did before a few months after her sister is not functioning like that at all and then I don't mean that it's not okay to visit a grave to mourn but if you know you have to be somewhere eula pay attention to being on time life shouldn't revolve around death like her sister's life does because if that's so then Opie can continuously grief about the fact that she can't have children sorry I'm late I was grieving I'm infertile sorry I didn't do that I was depressed about being infertile but let's be honest if she did that continuously she would be the a-hole because it's expected for her to get over it and function like a normal person edits some people in the comments made some valid points the family needs to stop enabling the sister Opie it would be good for you to look into therapy again as there are still things that are obviously hurting you like the family dynamic and how they enable your sister I do want to say Opie your response is justified your wording wasn't the best but it's clear after years of bottling it up you needed to let it out but bottling those feelings up are the reason why therapy might be a thing so you can let it go not for your sister but for yourself you are a very strong person because you let being infertile not define you but your family dynamics do not seem to be healthy for you in some ways I am NOT saying going out contact banned them out of your house insert reddit rage I'm saying look for your own healthy boundaries towards your sister and family take care of yourself and your needs also people are voice to their concerns for the sisters living children I really hope they do not suffer under the continuous grieve of your sister RP and that there is someone who will keep an eye on them because your sisters behavior be very damaging to the self-esteem of her children am I not as good as my dead sibling am I not good enough for my mom etc I hope the children are loved that was just an amazing comment it's probably the best one I've read in a while everyone sucks here you don't get to dictate how other people handle grief and you certainly don't get to tell them to go get over it suggesting she go to therapy was a good call but that's a conversation that should have been done privately and expressed with more concern for her well-being rather than annoyance the reason I'm putting everyone sucks here instead of you're the a-hole is because your sister has created what sounds like an unhealthy coping mechanism for dealing with her child's passing to the point where it's negatively impacting others over such a great span of time again it's normal to grieve but to absent-mindedly burn you and then blame it on thinking of her baby or to have other bad habits blamed on her grief are not normal and you were right by saying she needs to address them not as crudely as you put it there one last thoughts the fact that she has children in lieu of you being infertile should not be a factor in this situation your struggles are not a competition and you shouldn't take it so personally then she needs her space to sort out her grief it's obviously okay to care about her and be worried because she is your sister but it's not so okay when this feeling stems on the fact that she has something you can't your infertility doesn't invalidate her feelings and I hope you're able to work past this and then just underneath that a lot of people are saying not the a-hole and I think with these reasons given here I can see why Opie made that decision to say that and I'm we'll still everyone sucks yeah but I'm leaning on that Opie is not the a-hole I feel like 10 years is more than enough to crack when you're in a situation like this posted by user disciple of Tia Matt's titled am I the a-hole for suing my ex-wife's lover for alienation of affection so my wife came out as gay after 16 years of marriage and child she dropped the bomb about three months before she moved out of our house to move in with her lover of over two years our son chose to stay behind with me and still regularly talks to his mum while consulting with my attorney about the pending divorce he suggested filing a civil suit against my ex's lover for being the cause of the marriage breaking up I followed his advice and they were served with the papers the following day my ex into lover confronts me in front of our house and it led to a shouting match and my wife leaving in tears our son is indifferent about the suits but deep down I think he feels some resentment towards us both I know it will be a long shot but the suit to me is more symbolic my way of extracting my pound of meat for sixteen years of blood sweat and tears it's my way of moving on even if nothing comes out of it I feel vindicated in some small way I don't know about all of the circumstances of your relationship it sounds like there's heaps going on below the surface I'm just gonna say that everyone sucks here for this one she was cheating on you dear Lord three months before she moved out to with her lover of over two years dude that I mean that that hurts that hurts to heal everyone sucks yeah you this is 100 percent out of spite and nasty she's not coming back and you were going to hurt everyone her for carrying on a two-year affair which is never okay I'd honestly not see the problem in filing a suit for alienation of affection so long as the plaintiff was a sex the spouse could even have affection for alienation of affection basically means if ex hadn't come along and stolen my spouse our relationship would have been fine even to this day which doesn't work when your spouse is attracted only to women and you're a man huh this is true I really think the whole alienation of affection idea is antiquity you can't force someone to love you any more than someone else can force you to love them it's the whole stealing idea which is bullcrap you can't steal people unless it is literal kidnapping if this dude's wife was in love with him the other woman would have stood no chance people make decisions the wife made the decision to cheat the other woman threw her hat in but the wife decided to pick it up this feelings change the a of a at its basest is my woman is property and incapable of independent thoughts someone showed her something shiny and she was instantly mesmerised this is dumb and antiquity or antiquated I don't know she found someone else I'm sorry you lost 16 years with her mourn move on and find someone else am i the a-hole forgetting and waitress fired from her job because she left me her phone number i-20 mail went for dinner with my family and parents in their 50s right before the lockdown anyway there was a fairly attractive waitress looked to be in her 20s serving us afterwards she left her phone number for me with a smiley face saying she found me cute for several reasons I was quite irritated by this first and foremost my parents teased me about this which made me feel uncomfortable secondly it seems very unprofessional and personal I'm the customer and she's the server she doesn't know me and this was a very forward thing to do I'd ideally like to just have had my food without any issues so after finishing I asked to speak to the manager and file the complaints I checked on Facebook for the paint of the restaurants and I saw someone leave a bad review for the place low and behold it was her she got fired my sister said I was an a-hole for doing this but I think I was well within my rights am I the a-hole um well what do you guys say he's not the a-hole if she didn't get fired because I feel like as a result of this maybe yeah I think is the a-hole that it came to this points but maybe she did a lot of things like this in the past and it's led up to this happening I don't think we get the full story here like I say all the time I'm sorry I'm like a broken record but I'd say because she's been fired or appears the a-hole for reporting her but I'm also inclined to say Hank we're not gonna evict him blame he'll say even then he could not be the a-hole I don't know I just have a gut feeling he's the a-hole for this right she dodged a bullet you're a piece of frickin work LeMay you're the a-hole right I like that he admits he found her attractive but then throws her under the bus because all no his parents teased him he could also be that I he feels she's not good enough for him because of her employment status you're the a-hole Opie if he didn't want to call her just don't don't ruin other's lives because of your ego oh no mommy and daddy keeps saying I have cooties and laughing about it yes you're the a-hole you could have just walked away dude you're the a-hole you could have just thrown the number away and continued on with your life definitely the a-hole if this isn't fake you're the a-hole full stop your attitude about social interactions in general fudging sucks and also it's not her fault at all that your parents teased you about it I'm gonna break with the rest of people here and say not the a-hole solely for the reason you saved her from potentially going on a date with you or even worse a relationship really had me there in the first half Nicole I posted by user deep sigh of relief titled am I the a-hole for feeding my baby at an interview okay ready here's the deal on mobile etc today I went to a job interview at a childcare facility I had done a phone interview back in March for the summer and they knew that I would have to bring my baby with me to the in-person interview so keep in mind she did have heaps of time to get a babysitter in between this time that was definitely an open possibility but instead she told them all y'all move is such a long time away but my baby's gonna be there at this job interview don't don't worry when I got the call yesterday to come in I verified that they had room at the Center for my now seven month old and that I could bring him to the interview with me I arrived ten minutes early my usual early is better than late and was handed a paper application and questionnaire to fill out after filling out the forms I was called back to the director's office just as my son was fussing for his lunch I asked the director if there was something I could set his car seat on while I fed him she looked at me funny and asked me if he could wait until after the interview to eat I smiled and said well he's hungry now and I'd like to go ahead and take care of that she told me there wasn't anything to put him on and she had no food for him I clarified that I brought his food he just needs to be fed she replied that he needed to wait until when done I laughed a bit and invited her to explain to my infant son that he needed to wait saying he may listen to her but I doubt it since you know he's a baby and when babies are hungry you feed them she said she would interview the other candidate first to allow me time to feed the baby I sat on the floor out of the way in the lobby as they had no tables to put the car seat on and feed him changed him in the back of my car and came back in I was almost immediately called back by the director I thanked her for being flexible with the interview order so I could feed my son and that I got him fed and changed she immediately told me that in 20 years she has only done this twice and told me that she didn't think I'd be a good fit for the position so reddit's am I the a-hole for feeding my baby I think the question should be so Redditt am I the a-hole fand nots hiring and nanny or getting someone to look after my baby for a job interview when I had months to do it but I still came and brought my kid to the interview anyway and you know halted the interview and made them wait for me to feed my kid who shouldn't have been there in the first place Opie you're the a-hole for doing that she's not seen anything like this in her 20 years she's only had to tell two people in that time including you that she doesn't think they're a good fit for the position I think you need to have a good hard look at yourself and think man why did I screw this interview up hmm maybe I can change and not do this again in the future you're the a-hole I've never hired anyone that brought their kid to an interview I read that as this person doesn't have reliable child care so how often will there be a problem with their work schedule I don't disagree that Opie is the a-hole but for a different reason it was for a childcare facility the norm is that her kid would be using that childcare facility while she works but she still shouldn't have brought the baby to the interview I honestly think the biggest thing that made Opie with the a-hole was her extreme rudeness and belligerents to the interviewer laughing in her face and giving her sarcastic answers in the long run there Opie probably did the director a favor by putting all her cards on the table in the interview and demonstrating herself to be someone the childcare facility didn't want on their staff I definitely would not want to hire someone who acted like this in an interview baby or not edits yikes I just went through all of Opie's comments in this thread they're all over the place argumentative hostile insulting and snide she seems like a nightmare if even a glimpse of this underlying personality is coming through in future interviews I don't think she has a great chance of landing a job let's find some you're the a-hole just for your snarky unprofessional responses to the person who literally held your fate in their hands based on your other replies it sounds like caring for your kids is still a full-time job and you're the only person you will allow to care for them so a job like that probably isn't in the cards no I'm the primary caregiver at home because of my mom's rheumatoid arthritis my mother-in-law's arthritis and my husband's work schedule I have no issues with someone else caring for the baby of course the center director held my fate in her hands she's the only one who gets to decide who to hire why allow me to bring him in if I'm not allowed to care for him or expect a baby to just wait when they're hungry being rude to the interviewer is such an obviously self-destructive tactic that I suspect you didn't really want the job in the first place I wouldn't hire you either you're the a-hole if they had some room for your son shouldn't you have entrusted them with his care while you interviewed you may have showed up 10 minutes early but you weren't ready until after your son ate so you were technically late as he is not enrolled in the school they would not allow him in a classroom or allow a staff member to take care of him during the interview then don't bring him you're the a-hole not for feeding a baby of course the baby needs to be fed the problem is that you knew you had an interview and you should have planned around that the director also has things to do with their day respecting someone else's time especially when they're giving you a job interview is important I hear what you're saying they set the time there I also didn't ask to wait until after he had eaten but rather where I could put him while I fed him while interviewing I can absolutely multitask and interviewing while spoon feeding an infant is not taxing you sound quite professional I'm sorry but you're the a-hole and my personal favorite when they're talking about bringing the chart to the interview and they say down there I have an eleven month old your baby wasn't hungry he ate now before he doesn't have to have puree at the very moment they say you are very welcome to explain that to him thank you I pee very cool pursued by user clothes in drawers titled am I the a-hole for throwing my kids clothes onto the floor when they don't fold their clothes neatly so I've always been kind of a neat freak mom the entire time my kids have been alive I always expect their rooms to be clean and I check their drawers closets and storage bins to make sure they don't just shove stuff in there to make the room appear clean the kids aged sixteen thirteen nine and six are all responsible for putting away their laundry and my oldest two are responsible for folding their own clothes which bothers me because my 13 year old folds his clothes in a way that bothers me he rolls them up instead of properly folding them ever since the kids have been home and have more free time I am more strict about the way they put away their clothes I expect their clothes to be folded a certain way and organized in a certain way in their drawers I read from a mummy blogger a few years ago that when her kids drawers weren't organized she would make a mess for them to organize the right way I considered it for a few years but now that the kids are old enough I think it's the way to go for us I haven't had to do this until yesterday I walked into my 16 year olds room while she was facetiming a boyfriend and saw her basket of laundry that needed to be folded and out of curiosity opened her drawers and saw she's shoved her clothes in there I started making a mess and she screamed mom why and I told her she knew why after that I walked out of her room she explained to her boyfriend what I did and he says your mom's fudging crazy bra and I peeked my head into our room gave her a look and she ends the call with him and breaks down crying I told my husband what happened he told me I knew you were gonna do that but I didn't know you'd actually follow through this morning I woke up to a note on my daughter's door saying until mum can get mental help I'm staying with aunt my sister's name I texted her no response I tried contacting my sister who said she has no plans to return until I get mental help and stop being such a controlling [ __ ] my husband's sister and mum are all against me in this which hurts I don't think it harmed my daughter it benefits her and it helps her stay organized I'm not the problem everyone else is the problem I'm not the a-hole you're crazy not me I think I repeat should take the suggestion of the daughter and go get some mental help might help her realize what's going on you're the a-hole you know who acts like this Marine Corps drill instructors why - mentally mess with recruits this is not okay within the family unit it's insane that you think it's okay to control how your kids Ford their clothes in their drawers this is completely horrid Opie is totally you're the a-hole if my mum did this I would be gone I completely empathize with the daughter I actually laughed out loud at the daughters notes I don't blame her at all honestly that was pretty [ __ ] ironic and a pretty strong indication this is not abnormal behavior on mums parts you don't just go from zero to moving outs and to leaving only in notes that amounts to I'll come back when you start behaving ridiculously deuces you're the a-hole you shouldn't even be in your older to children's room so much let alone going through their drawers plus just because they do it differently than you doesn't make the way they put away their clothes incorrect what you did was take objectively clean clothes and put them on a dirty floor your oldest girl was right to go to the hunts for a cooling-off period with you she's in safe hands for what it's worth you have to give your teen some level of Independence now for them to be functional adults later or for them to want any relationship with you kids that are micromanaged from what I've seen really go a bit too wild in college and that nights so if you're trying to make everything backfire later by all means continue being controlling to this unreasonable degree that last bit about kids that are micromanaged I went to high school with a girl her mum worked as a support teacher at our school she wasn't allowed to do much and her mum had very high expectations of her she went to university and only a couple of months ago ended up passed out in a nightclub bathroom she absolutely lost it when she finally got freedom with the way you typed this out I was initially trying to read it like a poem you're the a-hole my mum used to do this and now we have minimum contact seek mental health before you alienate your kids entirely because there's a difference between expecting a clean space and being an unreasonable control freak did your mama also throw the dirty dishes at the window while screaming at her kids for not doing them because if so you might have been my neighbor back in high school that woman was nuts posted by user Bridget longans titled am I the a-hole for not giving my daughter a letter my deceased husband wrote for her before he died in January 2019 my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor it was in a completely inoperable part of the brain and was told that he had six months to live he stuck it out and died in October three months longer than he was expected to he was always positive and decided a few weeks after his diagnosis that he would write letters to our daughters for significant events in their lives my husband was my soul mates and the past few months have been difficult knowing I've lost him we have two daughters Mia who is 21 and Imogen Amy who is 19 all three of us have become a lot closer since dad's death and we've all really struggled my husband and I were together since we were children got married when we were 18 and we were approaching our 20th wedding anniversary when he passed in February of this year Mia got married to a boy she's been with for about six years I absolutely loved her husband and he's been incredibly supportive during all of our grief my husband wrote a letter for Mia to open on her wedding day it's worth noting that my daughters were unaware of these letters it was my job to give them to our daughters her wedding day comes around and I just can't bring myself to give her the letter I read it and just wanted to keep it to myself I had his handwriting and his words and it felt like he was there and they couldn't bear the thought of giving that up yet I was fully intending on giving her all the other letters as the events happened last week Mia and her husband bought their first house together they'd been living at our home since they got married and so had a lot of stuff to pack and move into their new house Mia asked me where the important documents were her passport birth certificates etc so I told her they were in my top drawer of my dresser in my bedroom the only letter that was in there was the one that I meant to give her on her wedding day the rest were hidden away she immediately recognized his handwriting and of course it was addressed to her so she read it and broke down she came and found me and started screaming at me asking how I could be so selfish I didn't really know what to say apart from the fact that I wanted to keep it and she could take a picture of it both my daughters called me an a-hole and D convinced I'm keeping them from a load of their dad's stuff am I the a-hole and it's have your opinions that's why I posted this but do not come into my PMS and tell me I should have been the one to die instead you're worse than I am if that's what gets you off sending me death threats isn't okay either oh don't edits man that is heavy but I do think you're the a-hole for keeping those letters to yourself I can understand where the logic is coming from and I understand you're still grieving but it's not your place to keep those letters as hard as it is for you so you're the a-hole for keeping them from her you're the a-hole and she's right you're selfish and a thief that wasn't yours to keep my dad died when I was 17 do you have any idea how hard it was to marry a man my dad never got to meet to walk down the aisle without him my wedding day was supposed to be one of my best memories and instead it was just so hard a letter would have meant the world to me what you did was rotten and the fact he still haven't realized that speaks volumes this wasn't only your loss do you not realize that I think it's so selfish I would kill to have something like that from my dad you and me both my buyer dad died when I was a freshman in high school he never got to see me graduate from high school and I still miss him so much I cannot believe the selfishness of this woman who does that to their own kids it makes me so angry and what would the dad think of her keeping the letter I feel like a bit of an a-hole myself putting that lens on its butt really are pee what would he think he write that letter for her don't you think he'd be disappointed that in guarding it for yourself you stole that precious moment from your daughter you're the a-hole you may be his wife but he's her father what an utterly selfish act you've done his dying wish failed in your hands you disrespected his memory how could you edits those of you who are messaging Opie directly with pure nastiness just stop yes what she did was absolutely disgusting but so is telling her she should be the dead one at the end of the day she made a massive mistake based on the heightened emotions of losing someone she desperately loved if I lost mine I would 100% be in a horrific States she knows now how wrong she was and probably will never forgive herself ope I wish you nothing but healing time for you and your daughter it may take a long time but please don't give up and try to make amends if possible I'm in disbelief about this right here how budging dare Opie take away her dead husband's only opportunity to be there for his daughter on her wedding day she has absolutely no right to that letter or any of the others her husband made a beautiful gesture for his daughters in his last month's and Opie crapped all over it because of her own selfishness you're the a-hole Opie what do you think your husband would say he trusted you with his final words to his children and you betrayed that trust how could you possibly think you want an a-hole posted by user wife is beautiful titled am I the a-hole for laughing in the way my wife poops I get how silly this sounds but my wife is still giving me the cold shoulder and I need to know if I screwed up as badly as she thinks hopefully this post will give us both some perspective my wife and I 26 male and 25 female have been married for two years we started trying for our first baby about a year ago and she's finally pregnant this whole thing has been a roller coaster as it's the first time for both of us but the worst part is the pooping every morning I wake up to the sound of my wife taking the biggest poops and the way she breathes while doing it just sounds hilarious to me it sounds like she's having an orgasm I can't help it I just find it to be really funny but she always gets upset when she hears me laughing at the way she's been pooping recently so she always turns the fan on and closes the door now but I still hear it and it still makes me chuckle but I've been hiding it better now so she doesn't hear this has been going on for a few weeks and everything was working out okay until last night during sexy times I was going down on her and in the middle of its I suddenly realized she was making the same noises she makes when oops I tried so hard to not burst into laughter but I couldn't help myself my wife got extremely upset and asked me what was so funny I didn't want to tell her because I knew she'd get mad but she badgered me so I eventually gave in and told her she completely flipped out and went to go sleep on the couch this morning I made her french toast her favorite breakfast but she barely touched it she went on a rant about how I always made her feel disgusting and unattractive but I don't get where this is coming from because I tell her that she's beautiful all the time I apologized about last night in hopes it would calm her down but she's still giving me the silent treatment sir I'm at a bit of a loss right now hopefully some third-party feedback will help us understand one another better so tell me reddit's am i the a-hole I think it goes without saying that Opie is the a-hole heel but it's good that he earned up to wit and he's seeking to make amends here I think you know they probably need couples counseling or something it might be a bit far I think this just this one just needs time and to work at this solution don't laugh at your wife during sex it's not okay to do that especially it was something she's going to be insecure about but I feel it is something that can be worked out with time love and care you're the a-hole so basically you just told your wife that she can not relax and have fun during play time because during play time she breathes like she's pulling so why would she have sex again I mean if she can't relax and enjoy it is there any points you're the a-hole how would you feel if your wife started laughing at you in the middle of sex she probably feels humiliated I doubt she'll even want to have sex with you now would you want to have sex with someone who laughed at you the last time you need to realize how what you've done is affecting her telling her she's beautiful doesn't mean a damn thing if you're laughing at her every single day either figure out how to control this image to a laughter or move somewhere you can't hear her poop then put some serious effort into making sure she feels desired and appreciated the worst is the damage is done now when they get things on she will be constant thinking about not making those noises and worrying about if she lets go that she will make them my wife is super self-conscious about pooping will not do it in public because she fears people will hear her but she'll call me into the Danny while she's going and chat to me honestly as weird as it is I find it a huge compliment that she's so comfortable with me that she can do something around me she will not let faceless anonymous strangers even here RP has made his wife self-conscious about pooping and now about sex so double-whammy and congratulations on screwing with your wife self-confidence to a degree that I don't see them having good sex for the foreseeable future it'll be her letting him do his thing while she concentrates on not making pooping grunts and moans yep this entirely as if I didn't feel self-conscious enough already this in itself would make me want to know out of anything and everything and not make me comfortable anymore to be myself around my husband this is legitimately the type of thing that carry on to PPD the ramifications of this are honestly stunning the mass level of mental damage done RB I hope you're reading this no matter what she says I would highly recommend she see someone before her mental health unravels at birth and you know a lot of people can say well that's really pushing it but it we've seen in these stories PPD does absolutely have huge effects on people and it's not a huge shot in the dark so you know if it was my wife I would probably encourage her to see a professional so that we can work this out because that is a lot of potential damage in the future you're the a-hole she's going through a lot physically and emotionally whether or not your intentions are bad you're still laughing at her not with her you're even laughing at her while sharing intimate moments with her no one wants someone to draw attention to tough and embarrassing physical changes that their body is going through give her privacy and maybe go someplace that you can't hear her when she's in the bathroom posted by user am either a whole new york titled am i the a-hole for giving away my son's pet dog due to his irresponsible behavior throw away for obvious reasons I don't wish to be recognized by my friends here's the story around August last year my son who's 11 years old started begging us to get him a pet dog for him as his Christmas gifts he promised us he will take good care of the dog shower him well feed him well take him on strolls he promised us he'll be a responsible owner right at the beginning my husband and I didn't agree to it because we know him well he's not capable of fulfilling such responsibilities we told him he needs to earn that trust from us and empty promises just turned to work ever since his request for a dog got rejected his behavior had changed for the better he started doing his household chores on his own accord without reaping any benefits I'll admit I thought he had changed for the better for the sake of proving himself that he is completely capable of being a responsible owner a few months later Christmas came and after some discussion my husband and I agreed to get him a dog because we thought he had changed for the better we've made it very clear we will not be doing anything for the dog and he has to do everything by himself initially he was really doing everything well and my husband and I merely supported financially by buying a kennel dog food dog toys and vet fees etc but a month later he started revealing his old self back he became lazy and would skip bath time or stroll time a day or two then a week and this resulted in us doing it for him on those days we had a talk with him and warned him we'll be giving the dog away if this continues I'm assuming he is thinking I'm just passing in empty threats because each time he promises he'll change for the better he never actually did the breaking points was last night when my husband and I were busy with our work and we merely asked him to walk the dog he howled it us and tells us that he's tired of the dog and he's sick of it enraged I told him that this will be the last time he'll be seeing his dog and did the work for him this morning while he was out with his dad to get groceries I took the opportunity to call my cousin to our home and gave the dog to her who was always shown interest in our dog I've been planning to give the dog to her ever since my son started showing signs of shirking his responsibilities and yesterday was the last straw if you're wondering yes I intentionally gave it away while my son isn't around so he wouldn't have a chance to manipulate my husband in myself when he came back home he saw his dog missing and I told him I've already given the dog away as warned I also reminded him that I've given him a lot of chances and it was his fault for not cherishing it my husband is angry at me because regardless of the matter it's an undeniable fact that the dog has bonded with our family I'm beginning to question if I am the a-hole maybe you should that's you know kids are kids and I definitely know myself at 11 years old I would not have the mental capacity really to be like y'all I need to put in hard work every single day of my life to like work for this dog he's human he's gonna have his off days he's gonna have his good days you know you teach him you're the parent you give him good manners you don't just slap him down and say you know what I didn't raise you to be you know the hardest-working kid ever and because of that I'm gonna punish you no doesn't work like that buddy you're an a-hole for not helping him out when he needed the help and slowly pushing him to be a better dog owner over time he didn't even have the dog for long enough to truly know how to look after it I feel like so you're the a-hole I reckon you're the a-hole on a few fronts one you absolutely should have known the kid was never going to take 100% responsibility every kid says that when they want a dog I know I did it sure mom ripped me about it but she didn't go and give our dog away this isn't being irresponsible he's 11 this is being a kid that wants a dog too he really should have spoken to your husband because parenting needs to be a united front on big decisions like this you talk to him to buy it but not to give it away explain that three you gave away your family pets over something everyone saw coming that poor dog I suggest you don't get any more pets because you clearly don't have the respect for animals that they deserve you are its family and you gave it away no matter how many times you say it's my kids dog you are the adult support of the animal which means it is your responsibility to and you have not done right by it here finally a sane answer here if you get your kid a pet as the adults it's common sense to protect that your kid will be Frankie as 99% of kids are and to realize that the responsibility ultimately falls on the parents I'm also confused as to what she was planning to do when the dog is seven to eight and her kid goes off to college or train school which she dumped the dog then because the son was no longer home to take care of it a lot of people love to whine about how high of standards a lot of shelters now have for adopting but this is why they see pets being dumped over and over again for the same reasons and understandably want to prevent people like Opie from adopting and then abandoning the dog very predictably my family adopted a dog when I was fourteen and one of the things they specified was that the dog was going to be the whole family's dog and this whole family's responsibility and that there would still be a caretaker if and when I went to college in four years at the time I thought it was a little over the top and I knew I was going to go to a local college and live at home so why did it matter well predictably a lot changed in those four years and I ended up going to college for hours away definitely not living at home also predictably even at 14 I wasn't always able to be the primary caregiver for the dog but the dog was my family dog so of course she didn't just starve or get dumped which is why the Shelton made sure to ask I never thought about that my family always had cats growing up sometimes multiple and they were always family cats the cats had their favorite people sure but to have only one person responsible for the pets out of the entire house seems so odd to me now am I the a-hole for taking back the beer I bought for a party which I was uninvited this happened just a few hours ago I'm a 19 year old man and the people calling me an a-hole eighteen year old men and women on Thursday a person I had a major crush on in high school but who rejected me messaged me out of the blue she had never contacted me without my contacting her first and at one point I realized she had blocked me on social media and so I found it odd that she was suddenly being friendly after sending a couple of greetings and questions about how I've been she said that she was going to have some people over and wanted to know if I would get the beer the drinking age where we are is 19 and she and the people who were going to chill were all 18 the liquor stores my area all Cod I thought it was silly that my being a month older meant I could buy liquor and they couldn't and so I said I would love to go she said thanks I'll pick you up at 7:00 7:00 o'clock rolled around and she texted me to say she was in front of my house I went out dressed and ready to chill with some people and she drove me to the liquor store when we got there I asked her what beer she wanted me to get and she told me to get Budweiser I hid my disappointment as well as I could but it was her party so I went in and bought two cases of 24 I got back in the car and said let's party and she was eerily quiet I noticed that she wasn't driving towards her neighborhood but rather back towards mine I thought she had moved or something but didn't want to press the issue when she turns down my street I finally figured it out she was being purposefully vague about the invitation because she wanted me to get the beer but she wanted a way out when she told me I wasn't actually invited in the first place she stopped in front of my house leaned over kissed me on the cheek and said thanks in her best voice my dead panda and asked when she was going to tell me I wasn't invited she feigned surprise and said that she never intended to invite me in the first place I sat in silence for a long awkward minutes picked up the beer and walked towards my front door she got out of her car and frantically tried to reinvent me to the party but I told her that what she did was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me I opened my front door slammed it a bit hard and came back to my room now I'm sitting here drinking absolutely unpalatable his water and I have text messages from all of her friends and her asking me why I'm being such a dick I don't think I'm an a-hole for reacting the way I did but if you haven't figured it out I'm not amazing socially so I'm not sure am I the a-hole here I'm gonna say no you're very much justified in your actions there and I think you knew you were being used from the start there and it's not a good feeling that's for sure it's never a good feeling to be used so I think you did what was right in that situation you took the beer back it sounds like you paid for it and not her which disgusting in itself isn't it Opie not the a-hole and those people really need to grow up and stop using people not the a-hole blatantly how did she expect this to go you'd happily go buy her beer then take it to the party and then leave without partying or drinking your beer they all have to be a bit cracked in the head if they believe that was ever going to work I'd take a snapchat of me pouring that down a toilet before I ever gave it to them I'm sorry this happened to you I hope you can move past what a nasty piece of work this girl not a woman is that's an awesome idea I was planning to just throw them in my fridge and tell my stepdad to go nuts because he'll drink anything no he's not an alcoholic but down the toilet would work well to pour one out for a terrible party and then give the rest to your stepdad you get brownie points for doing something nice for him while she gets to go cry over being terrible this but in the photo hold a few bottles to make it look like you're flushing the whole lot out of Speights instead of just one and have a few half crushed empty cans in the ground in the shot for good measure personally I wouldn't recommend that I would just drink it and give it to the stepdad don't need to make her such a show of it but to each their own not the a-hole I would have loved to see your face when you took the beer with you good for you that ticked our face after doing something wrong to someone is so good to see they should be able to by Budweiser because in my area it's not considered beer Campbell P ah posted by user disastrous afternoon one titled am I the a-hole for not dropping child supports even if my husband is able to support my child financially when I was twenty I dated Ryan who was 28 I let him know how I felt about abortion I'm pro-choice but I don't want one for me and that I was using birth control regularly I became pregnant six months into our relationship after four years of continuous birth control use with zero scares he did not want to use a condom which I do agree was stupid on my parts Ryan wanted no parts which I understood all I asked was that he provided chart supports into whatever way that he could he disagreed and eventually I had to go to courts over three years he would evade supports work under the table or uses wealthy parents to support him I did get a steady stream of support after two years but it was just barely enough I eventually graduated from college while being a mom 24/7 and working I was mom and dad for three years and did it on my own financially with the odd CS check here and there after that I met my husband Kyle Kyle had been in our lives since my son Lucas was three years old Lucas called him dad and they're very close I've asked Ryan to let Kyle adopt Lucas but he refuses he'll barely even talk to me and he has me blocked everywhere I had to ask through my lawyer and I gave up on it after several knows we've had to learn to be content with Kyle being Lucas's real father in every way but legally the problem is that Ryan found out exactly what Kyle does for a living Kyle is an engineer with a well known company he's making enough that I can stay home with the kids and pursue other dreams of mine for example wanting to get my masters and with my husband's job I can afford to put my efforts into that without worrying about the expense of childcare because of this Ryan pays me child supports as if I was unemployed and he's now at an age where he has to stay at one job for more than a few months he's paying me much more than if I was working it makes him extremely angry to know the where Lucas and I living quite comfortably before the current situation we went to courts the judge and down state laws don't take into account what Kyle makes and determines that Ryan would continue to pay the set amounts he believes that he should pay nothing and Kyle can support us I agree but he refuses to let my son be adopted if Ryan won't let another man be the legal father of my son that he can't continue to fulfill the obligations of a legal father my husband agrees and doesn't think I should just drop the child support obviously Ryan wants me to drop it and his mother has even reached out he and his parents have never even met Lucas and are only contacting me to drop child supports am I the a-hole for not dropping child supports no absolutely not he is just seeing that you finally figured a way to support yourself and you finally found stability and they're like cool this is a good reason for us to screw you even harder what do you mean you don't want to be screwed even harder dude why it's the courts aren't allowing me to do this no in conclusion Ryan is a bigger baby than Lucas and that is a fact and Opie is not the a-hole edits Wow I didn't expect to read so many comments I really appreciate the time everyone has taken to respond to me I would like to answer a few common questions I've seen here does Ryan know child support is no longer his responsibility if he allows my son to be adopted yes he's aware of this or so I think I sent a letter to his home explaining how the process would work essentially no more child support in exchange for adoption I would like to think he's not a total idiots and could have easily found out this information himself nevertheless I did inform him in basic English what would happen does Ryan's mother know about the adoption and have I thought of reaching out to her again I would hope she saw the letter I wrote or is intelligent enough to put two and two together Ryan suffers from type 1 diabetes and was spoiled quite a bit his parents couldn't protect him from child supports or taking responsibility I was the evil person who ruined their kid's life and didn't allow him to pursue going to college or whatever he was 28 when this all happens he wasn't going to go to college regardless but Cathy isn't likely to back me here I'm sure she also has that weird legacy explained below that prevents her from wanting to help why won't he allow an adoption the main reason is that my son is the only boy in his family his siblings all had girls and Ryan is unlikely to marry or father in other child's it's this weird sexist legacy thing his family has invented in their heads I couldn't explain it to anyone because I don't even get it myself my son has never met his paternal family and he has my maiden name what do we do with these child supports when I initially began receiving the $100 a month I was using it all on my son since I was working a crappy job and going to school right now the payments are better definitely not some crazy amounts I promise I'm not trying to rob this man or bleed him dry it's a very reasonable amount compared to his income we actually put away a bit more than that in a fund for my daughter every month so I put the whole child support amount in Lucas's accounts and Kyle makes up the remaining amount himself so that all our children are on equal footing we call it a college fund but we completely intend for this money to go towards anything the children wants whether it be a down payment for a home college trade school etc again thank you for taking the time to respond to me I feel guilty at times because of my mother she tells me to look at things from Ryan's perspective and how his diabetes has limited his life I don't want to make my life harder or more complex however I think it's enough of feeling sorry for this man I'll be pushing harder for this adoption to happen for my son he's getting to be a where he understands more and is able to express what he wants to a judge thank you not the a-hole if he wants to remain the legal father that he needs to fulfill that responsibility if he lets your husband adopt the son then he's done but for now it seems like he'll be paying for his immaturity literally I hope you can lawyer up and get that money from him I can see not wanting to give up custody if he has a role in his son's life but he can't expect to get out of his financial obligations as a father and keep his legal status as father - he wants all of the reward with no responsibility posted by user Thomas underscore underscore underscore my life titles am I the a-hole for kicking my brother-in-law and his wife out I've lost my son two months ago he was only 25 he was disabled he had cerebral palsy since birth my husband and I loved him so much and gave him all the love and care he needed to make it through the difficult times since his death I've been getting a lot of quote unquote advice on how to move on in life and pretend like my son didn't even exist just like what they did when my husband passed away two years ago my brother-in-law my husband's brother has always been a total a-hole to me one week before my husband died he told my husband to not worry about me because I will marry again he told this while he was dying my husband was a great man he was a donor he cared for our son and always wanted for him to be happy when my son died right after we got back from the funeral my brother-in-law and his wife stayed at my house for a whole week he said why are you still so sad for your son you should be happy for him you should be happy for the both of you him not having to deal with his disability anymore and you being free now you can go live your life without having to take care of a disabled person it wasn't like he was gonna make it to 50 right I just felt awful I got so angry with him I told him he was an a-hole and told him to get out of my house he started running his mouth again and said I know you're just acting out because you're grieving but that does not excuse your happy behavior towards me and my wife before he left I told him to hand me the spare key to my house that he stole from my husband before he died he lifted it up and then instead of giving it to me he tossed it in the trash bin his wife was laughing on her way out and I just stood there feeling awful I cried my eyes out that day and wished that my son was there to comfort me now he's calling me to say that he wants me to come over and help his wife decorate his son's birthday party ow ow ow this is a more of a venting story sir you're definitely not the a-hole for kicking your brother-in-law out for that there's no reality I do think that anyone could interpret it that way I hope you're doing better Opie I hope that you find some stability and way to cope with this he is really not helping things and you know that and I think it would probably be good to like limits most contact with that man in his wife or even no contact is as much as people don't like to hear that but as this seems like a situation where no contact is like a very healthy thing to me Opie not the a-hole girl-next-door type says change your number and cut him off not sure why you stayed in contact after your husband died you're definitely not the a-hole I'm not sure why you would think you are don't change your number block his number his wife's and get a restraining order so they'll have legal consequences if they continue with their crappy behavior truly sorry for your loss also consider changing the locks on your door he could have made another why risk it's not the a-hole I'm so sorry for your loss you need to take care of yourself right now and a big part of that is not allowing people who don't care for you arounds not the a-hole I would cut them off completely because they are toxic pursued by user throw RA and a whole bunch of numbers titles am I the a-hole for changing my husband's phone backgrounds 10 years ago I met my husband's he'd been so divorced from his wife for two years and she'd taken their children across country at the time there were four female and six female when she took them his phone background at the time was the girls on one of the beach with their arms around each other and smiling at the camera it was a great almost professional picture it's been his background on every phone he's earned since the girls visited every school holiday which crushed my husband his children decided to visit it much and only recently went home birth spent some time with our children who were two and five and birth girls as a surprise for my husband I got my photographer brother to take a few professional photos of the children all four and the pictures turned out great I saved my husband's background picture to make sure he has it changed and the background to one of our children if it wasn't clear it also had his daughters in I got all pictures framed as well I would have thought that he'd be happy to have more of an updated picture of all the children together he isn't he believes I've selfishly crossed a boundary and that it was completely out of order it was just a surprise he's still upset and has changed his passcode to we're always on each other's phones I didn't break into his phone if I wasn't clear all four children were in the photo am I the a-hole I'm gonna say yeah unfortunately our P is the a-hole although I like the idea and they like the concept of its I feel like you should have communicated that with the husband's it's you know we don't know everyone we don't know how they're going to react and unfortunately some people aren't going to react the same way as this guy some people are some people are gonna take it was everyone's difference I think communication is key in a relationship and he should definitely been told he shouldn't have been surprised in this way I think he's got such an attachment with these kids that it's you know it is a huge break of trust to do that to someone I don't think that's an okay boundary to cross so unfortunately you are the a-hole Opie soft you're the a-hole getting the pictures done and having them framed isn't a bad thing at all but changing the phone background isn't is great there's a reason why that picture has been as phone background for so long phones are pretty purse so messing with the settings and backgrounds and someone else's phone without permission is pretty invasive this is what I say to you if the picture has been his background for several ferns it obviously has great sentimental value IRA P stated that she has other photos if he would like to change his backgrounds then he would have the chance to emotionally decide by doing it without his consent Oh P crossed a line you're the a-hole softy or the a-hole Oh P should have asked I think if all four kids were in the new picture then no a-holes here you have to remember he sees your children every day and he probably misses his older two alots it's not the contents of the photo that's the issue there it's the boundary of a very personal thing that was changed with our permission that's true I think it really depends on how open they are with their phones like my boyfriend wouldn't care if I did that but obviously some people would be rightfully upset I think if she replaced the older two with just the younger two that would be a solid you're the a-hole my photo background is my version of the photo in a locket I'm open with my phone but I don't want people rearranging my settings or my photo backgrounds no a holes here he didn't erase the photo you didn't do anything malicious and you didn't invade his privacy you did something that most people would find to be pretty sweet honestly better question here is why if he has two other kids why didn't he want them included this was my vibe as well it was supposed to be a cute surprise I don't get all these guys telling her that she's the a-hole I think definitely no a-holes here changing a background back is like two seconds of work and she made sure the picture was backed up I really don't see the issue I noticed most people saying that she's the a-hole for talking about invasion of privacy which is pretty stupid she changed the backgrounds she didn't snoop through his phone it is stupid they married and she had a picture taken of all of them and put as the backgrounds I don't get why these people think it's okay for him to not have all of his kids on his phone I mean he can have whoever he wants on his phone especially if he doesn't see the others very often my mum has a picture of my brother on her phone and has for a while because he recently left for the military know a-holes for sure posted by user snoo to 737 five titles am I the a-hole for telling my coworker I told you sir after she tried to throw me under the bus I am an assistant to the top people at my company anything they need I do whether it's setting up meetings getting them Starbucks to doing their expense reports I started in December and they like me because I focus 100% on them other people in my office noticed it's and divorced me for help and I learned the hard way that once you agree to help someone then you assume a certain level of accountability for example if someone wanted me to mail out a check for them and I do but the check never arrives then that's on me it's never like you're not even supposed to be helping us so don't worry about it it turns into something that distracts me from what I was hired to do basically I won't do anything but my job and keep my bosses happy last month they brought on a new worker she has to be set up a certain way because she was slowly going to take over some accounts in our system we have a vendor that does this for us but I've also been learning how to do it internally so our company doesn't have to pay the vendor the setup profile that her manager was confusing and made no sense to the vendor so it came all screwed up two days before she were to start this manager asks me to get her up into the system the way she needed her to be set up I already had a conversation with this manager that I am by no means proficient enough to do these customized setups and would not even try because I don't want to screw things up it's not like I'll get a pass for trying and I don't have time to call up this vendor and try to [ __ ] at them furthermore she wouldn't even put in writing what she needed because she kept changing her mind I told her I felt like she was just trying to find someone to blame if this went bad and I will not be that person she had a fit and even said she would talk to my boss about it and even said the last assistant wasn't this difficult I told her to go right ahead afterwards I wouldn't say I ignored her emails to the vendor that she cc'd me on in regards to the setup I just read the ones from my bosses the ones that matter the setup was never done correctly and caused bigger problems in the end the new employee quits after a month of citing you guys don't have your crap together and the manager got chewed out in a meeting I was called in because she mentioned my name I told everyone that I was asked to do something that I could not do so I didn't and I left it alone when they asked me why I said because I didn't want to be thrown under the bus like she was trying to do now after the meeting the manager came out and was upset I said all I have to say to you is I told you so I'm not one for the nine-to-five office job life but by the sounds of it Opie is not the a-hole and she was very much asked to do something she has no skills in and it absolutely would have landed her in trouble like it did last time with a check had this happened if she was in charge so Opie very big smarts Opie not the a-hole Otis says not the a-hole get the hell out of that toxic work culture though it pays well enough to tolerate it plus I have the excuse of hiding behind my bosses when someone asks me for something that I don't want to do the reason why things have gotten bad is because of a lot of people in the office are now working from home and slacking off and it's showing rather than doing their jobs as if they were in the office they just try to pass it on to me because I'm the nice guy who comes to work every day and does a very good job you should know that this is a really good career path the CEO of the company I'm with has had this same executive assistant for I don't even know how long across multiple companies that he's run you folks can end up with some real clouts just look at Donna on dudes Lowell yep be good at a job like this and you'll always have a job working for that person ROP is doing the right thing by realizing who she needs to please at this job agreed the girl in the same position but at my company is now essentially the big boss's right-hand woman she will have very good references for our industry if she eventually decides to leave not the a-hole I live by a saying not my circus not my monkey I like the I don't know and don't care enough to ask not my Pig not my farm not the a hole not the a hole hey play stupid games win stupid prizes I had a boss who would tell me she wanted things done in a way and as soon as I did it she changed her mind over and over again this went on for years driving me crazy finally I transferred out feeling sorry for whoever got my gig it was very much easier working for someone who knew what they wanted posted by user rice consistence titles am I the a-hole for changing my swimsuits after feeling uncomfortable at a pool party and then embarrassing people when I was asked about it this happened on Memorial Day I'm a 22 year old female a family friend / neighbor has a large backyard that they love to throw parties in my family is pretty close with them and usually goes whenever there's a party if I'm busy with something my parents don't care if I miss these events but if I don't have any plans they make me go with them and my younger siblings over the past two or so years a couple of my dad's friends or adults in the neighborhood have been sort of creepy to me at these events they sometimes make remarks about why I don't have a boyfriend and how they find it's strange maybe it's not that weird but it kind of creeps me out or if I go grab a beer they try to draw out conversations about me being old enough to drink now or asking me about my alcohol preferences on the day of this party I was already having a crappy day since I fought with my mom Melia and I was sort of on edge at the party I was hanging out in the pool and I went to get out because I had to pee I felt eyes on me like some of the men of the party were treating me like I was that girl in the pool scene in Fast Times I had glasses on and ended up making eye contact with the house owner who seemed to spaced out with his eyes resting on me as I walked inside the house after he's in the restroom and feeling very uncomfortable I walked back home and changed out of the bikini I was wearing and put on the ugly one-piece I had to wear in high school swim classes I arrived back at the pool and swam when my mum called me over to her and a group of neighbors and adults at the party she asked me why I left and put on another swimsuits I said something like I was feeling uncomfortable with all these men who were dad's age staring at me in awkward silence filled the air and my mom looked at me signaling are you fudging kidding me I asked her why she was looking at me that way and she apologized to the adults and I walked away after sitting in the hot tub for a bit my dad came up to me and sort of whispered that he heard what I said and it made a lot of people uncomfortable and maybe I should apologize I barked at my dad loudly and at this point people were looking at me I yelled for him to tell mr. lastname - stop being a fudging pervert then at this point the man who my name drops wife started yelling at me telling me I'm a little punk and I need more respect for my elders and how disgusting it was of me to accuse people of that I just told her don't worry your husband wasn't the only one who was staring and I'm very uncomfortable that the neighbors who knew me since I was a toddler now oh girl over me in my swimsuits one adult man there spoke up and said he was sorry that he wasn't looking at me but if I thought he was he's very sorry for the misunderstanding I told my parents I was going home my parents returned an hour or so later and promptly bitched me out for embarrassing them and making the entire party awkward did I go too far all right so I'm gonna say the normal response here is not the a-hole but I think she went a tad bit over the top in that reaction that's just my opinion you're welcome to disagree with that I'm gonna say that everyone sucks here as a results but only only her a little bit you know I don't blame her for her actions there I can completely understand being creeped out by being in a bathing suit and being checked out constantly by people you grow up with that seems it makes me want to crawl out of my skin I think Opie just went a little bit too far starting a huge argument to the party I think there's a time and place for it I'm sure you know it's understandable that you did it I think it was a tad bit out of line though that's not to say that don't do it sometimes it's good to be called out on these things sometimes it's bad I wasn't there I'm just getting your account but I still think that everyone sucks here not the a-hole the ones who need to apologize were the ones showing you this like seriously can't some parents be understanding if their daughter feels uncomfortable oh no no no no no see you don't understand while children can easily be taught not to stare adult males cannot it is theorized that as they age they grow an entitlement gene that society always telling them that they're great it's perfectly okay to be pervy sarcasm this is exactly why girls have dress codes at school because how dare we teach the boys how not to stare it might teach them how to not become creepy odd men later in life sometimes the women are worse I love wearing short shorts in the summer and the wives always glare me down like how dare I entice their men to stare at me it's disgusting I'm pretty sure this is gonna get at me yelled at on here but I have a different perspective I've been both the young pretty girl on the bikini they got eagle delights and damn now a middle-aged wife so I feel like I have a wide variety of understanding on the experience if those men were leering and harassing you you absolutely have the right to be ticked off and can call it Out's men can be gross and it's not fair for you to have to put up with that and in that case your parents should back you up but before you mess with someone's life by calling them out by name in front of everybody you better be absolutely sure that that's what they're doing it sounds like by your own admission there was room for question about whether they were actually at you or knots by calling out one person in particular by name in a public place he made a very serious accusation and trust me you absolutely humiliated and hurt his wife now before everyone jumps down my throat for saying I'm enabling perverts I'm doing nothing of the sorts I'm your prototypical liberal feminist and to fought for years for women to have the right to exist without being harassed I'm just saying that I think sometimes we're too quick to jump on the bandwagon of terrible accusations that can ruin people's lives and because of that many legitimate claims are undermined and go ignored based purely on rps information above finding these middle-aged men sorta creepy may not justify the damage that Opie caused to this man and his wife if there's more to the story I will happily admit I'm wrong in this case I think we need more information before lauding Opie is everybody on here seems to be doing I wrote this on Twitter but I'll say it again I'm having trouble discerning in my mind when I was younger in a swimsuits I sure thought there were eyes on me but I don't know if there were or it was my self-consciousness to expand on that sprinkle in a hint of my own narcissism if I repeat was 100% sure they were ogling then she was in the rides but the conversations themselves will seem harmless without knowing the facts this is a hard one to vote for Opie did compare herself to Phoebe Cates yeah that Fast Times reference alone makes me feel like just maybe this post was completely one-sided maybe that one got me too sometimes guys are really creepy and stare and do inappropriate and sometimes women think more highly of themselves than others do am I the a-hole for being okay with cheating unless it's in my earned relationship I'll make this short and sweet I'm dating somebody now and I would never cheat on them and I'd hope for and expect them to never cheat on me we got in an argument earlier because I admitted that before I met him I didn't see a problem with me being the other woman because quite frankly they weren't my relationships and if somebody expressed interest in me I felt like it was okay because I'm not cheating on and breaking trust with a partner I'm just living out a fantasy or kink along with the man I'm sleeping with who is as well my boyfriend's point of view is that cheating in any form by all parties is wrong and he doesn't know if he can trust that I won't cheat on him because I've overtly admitted to being the other woman the point of view is that I love him and I would never want to hurt him in that way it wasn't my fault that men in other relationships lie to their partners and it's not my fault that they wanted to do things with me I will admit that it can be morally questionable to be a homewrecker but I feel like the blame should be on the person actually in the relationship not the person who was chosen so reddit's am I the a-hole for being okay with other people's cheating yes you're the a-hole for that it's very much shunned in our society it's not a socially acceptable thing to do you will lose a lot of friends and a lot of relationships with people for holding this opinion you're the a-hole funny you wouldn't want it done to you but you have no problem being a catalyst for extreme emotional turmoil in someone else's relationship I don't agree with ropey but I kind of get where she's coming from the cheaters should take 1,000% responsibility for cheating on their significant other rather than the other woman / men because the cheater is directly lying and being unfaithful in their own relationship with significant other the cheaters actions is the catalyst and not the action of the other man / woman I think Opie is simply saying that she does not feel as though she has betrayed anyone for being the other woman and thus does not feel obligated or responsible however Opie's lack of remorse or guilts I personally can't relate but I do get her perspective don't think there's a good way of avoiding her view on this without sounding like an a-hole edits in response to the comments and Opie should she be responsible No is it morally questionable yes the key here is responsibility versus morality obviously she's a big a hole on the morality side but there's an arguments to be had whether she deserves to take responsibility not much of an argument in my opinion though you're the a-hole you're the a-hole as well as the hypocrites so if your significant other cheats on you with a family member slash fringe then according to your logic you'll still have a good relationship with them as it wasn't their fault your significant other showed interest in them Opie you're the a-hole like many have said it takes two to tango being that other person makes you just as guilty I don't blame your boyfriend you said you'll find with being the homewrecker it brings paranoia if I had a partner who had a history of being with the other woman I wouldn't trust them listen Opie in your logic you are restrained to only participate in cheating when it seems best for you or when you're single and you expected to have no repercussions since you're just the person they cheated on with not everybody including your boyfriend shares that logic when they see that you've actively participated in it's they not only see you as a hypocrites but also a serial cheater and I agree with this logic I don't know how you can save this relationship if your boyfriend doesn't see and accept your logic and don't force them to but yeah you're the a-hole it's not great but I don't think the blame is 50/50 a mistress hasn't made a commitment and isn't breaking both moral and legal valves both suck but it's definitely like an 80/20 split who sucks more posted by deleted titled am I the a-hole for not explaining straightaway about how I lost my leg I am male and I'm 24 years old in the summer of 2016 I was driving pretty late at night there wasn't anybody around so I was enjoying the peace and quiets then out of nowhere this speeding car hit me and I remember hearing a loud screech in seeing black the next thing I remember is waking up in hospital and I'm told I was in a horrific car crash basically another driver had been drunk driving and was speeding and slammed straight into the driver's side of my car my lower body was crushed and I'd broken all the major burns at my lower right leg beyond repair and that my leg had been immediately amputated from the knee whilst I was unconscious I also had brakes in other parts of me open bleeding wounds and even some burned wounds as part of the car had been leaking and caught fire all in all I was pretty lucky to be alive as I should have died anyway I had a long recovery I was in hospital for months and also learned to walk again with a fake leg when I eventually did heal I was left with some noticeable burn scars normal scans due to the crash and quite glaringly a missing leg the crash had a profound effect on me as I was only 20 and it destroyed my relationship with my then girlfriend and my mental health it took me a long time to feel comfortable being an amputee and I decided to get into the dating game my friends helped me and I have currently been talking to someone for the past few weeks and we've been able to meet a couple of times she knows I'm missing a leg but I never explained why as I didn't really know her and it was an insanely personal thing to open up about I finally told her what happened to me last night and explained that it's not something that's easy for me to talk about and tell I'm pretty scarred both physically and mentally from it I kind of thought she'd get it but she got really angry with me she said that I'm an a-hole as I clearly don't trust her enough to open up about my past to her especially something as huge as the crash as it's pretty visible I only have one leg I tried to reason with her and say that it's only been a few weeks but I just made things worse I do really like her and I think maybe I could have said something earlier so I can see why she felt a little hurt but I also believe that sometimes huge things take time to come out so am I the a-hole I'm gonna go with a big ol fat no I don't see how you could be the a hole for that she's just a stuck-up personality for not accepting that you will find many people in life that will be completely a hundred percent transparent with you when we like thank you for telling me I know that was a hard thing to open up about I respect that I hope that you're feeling better now that you've told me they weren't just straight away you get angry at you for not telling them earlier that is a disgustingly huge red flag what what you didn't tell me about your horrendous car crash when we first met how can I trust you what else are you hiding from me is there a third leg down there sonny jim ger not the a-hole it's only been a few weeks and it's entirely up to you if and when you feel comfortable telling someone about it she has really overreacted there also I'm sorry about your crash but I'm glad to hear you're getting through it the driver got charged with DUI dangerous driving and charges related to the damages turns out he had a few duis before so got a few years in jail and is still there so at least the guy got charged but thank you I'm doing fine ah I won't lie it makes my blood boil that even with a few DUIs he apparently had a license and a vehicle and it wasn't until you were nearly killed that he went to jail I am so sorry for your loss because of his recklessness however I am glad that you're alive and recovering anyways not the a-hole as others said you were not obligated to reveal details of a traumatic event until you feel comfortable doing so yeah the law system is screwed I have an acquaintance who was in a horrific car accident in Philadelphia a month ago Oh sir she and her fiance were hit by a man who was under the influence of PCP and alcohol going 95 miles per hour in a 45 her fiance died at the scene she had to be cut out of the car she was five months pregnant she lost her baby she lost her right leg she had to have a hysterectomy so she could never have children oh my god this is terrible this was her first child and she was in a coma for five days she posts on Facebook and my heart breaks for her and cannot imagine the pain she is going through physical and emotional as for the drunk driver no injuries nothing edits she is only 30 years old unfortunately drunkenness has a protective effect as far as injuries goes one of my exes took his parents car to a party in high school got wasted and totaled its he staggered away without a scratch he told them it was stolen and everyone believed him not the a-hole this is a red flag that she's making you feel guilty about something so personal you have every right to wait to talk about your no one would ever think to pressure a vet about his combats or a woman to talk about her incidents after only a few dates I get an emotionally controlling vibe from her get out before anyone gets hurt to be honest I'm gonna see how this plays out because I think that I need to talk to her again anyway you don't owe her an apology at all if anything she should be apologizing to you for making you feel bad about something so personal if she digs her heels in please heed that as a really bad sign updates thought it was clear enough but the guy who hit me was drunk driving not me I was sober update to a lot of people have said this is a red flag so to be honest I'm considering asking to meet her again and explain that her behavior was now I realize not okay and that I'm considering things between us if it's not bent to be it's not meant to be update 3 I read a lot of comments basically saying I deserved better and screw it after a few hours of thinking you're right I asked to meet her again and they plan on telling her to her face I don't see us going anywhere posted by user not fatty faults titles am i the a-hole I refuse to take responsibility for my daughter's eating disorder or disorders me 48 daughter 22 has a laundry list of issues growing up that continued into adulthood she has severe low self-esteem every compliment you give her gets shot down by a self-deprecating joke I'd be lying to say it's not embarrassing at times I know I was not the best mom growing up and in my defense my husband left me when she was only one with two other children and didn't show up until they were adults it was stressful in every way but I made sure they had the essentials shelter running water clothes heat and food I have blurted out things to my children in the heat of the moments I've called my daughter a cow and a fat ass once or twice in her childhood again at least twice I've done this it was not an everyday thing my daughter showed weird habits with food throughout childhood she would hide food in her bed I'd wake up in the middle of the nights and she'd be eating while crying certain days she would overeat then the next day refused to eat she started bulimia around 14 she started therapy at 19 recently her therapist thought it would be beneficial if I joined one of their zum sessions to discuss certain things I was adamant seeing I knew right away it was going to be daughter blaming me for every problem and she assured me it wasn't obviously that wasn't the case she mentioned the comments I made in the past and said she thinks this triggered her habits her therapist didn't defend me at one points I was sick of the blame game I said very gently neither of my two children have eating disorders to say I'm the primary reason she has disorders is unfair she is using me as a scapegoat instead of addressing the real issue and if she continues to blame me for her issues she would have disowned me when she could have since her attitude is impacting me so heavily perhaps I need to distance myself from her I ended the meeting and have not spoken to her since I intend to speak to her soon but hope if nots to expect an apology I need everything possible for my children as a single parents I am by no means a perfect parents but all three are alive and semi healthy I think this is another case of the RP being in denial and very heavily down in the deeps of denial and even a therapist hasn't been able to help them in this situation they're definitely the a hole in this situation and I think they know that's I just think they don't want to come to grips with reality and it's really sad to see the effect it's having on their family you're the a-hole a therapist is not there to defend you a therapist is there to allow their patients to talk about the issue if you were invited it was because the issue needed to be discussed in an open environment with someone who knows professionally how to handle this you failed you blew up and essentially told your daughter you do not care that you impacted her and triggered a disorder you do not deserve an apology and you should not hope or expect one you are the one who is in the wrong here this is probably a repeating Paden daughter tries to talk to mother about ways she's hurting her mother blows up and says nothing is her fault walks away and washes her hands of any wrongdoing rinse and repeats you're the a-hole it's a sad and real pattern with narcissistic abusive or negligent parents it's awful to see you're the a-hole on what planet are you not you were a crap parents by your own admission you said hurtful things to your daughter that stuck with her to this day good lord you suck she keeps stressing how she did the bare minimum plus verbal abuse like she deserves a freaking pat on the back or something look I provided all the legal essentials you know the ones that I need to provide or the government will take my kids away the literal lowest bar who cares if I have a child who has struggled with eating disorders and probably other mental issues for almost a decade I kept the heat on so it can not possibly be my faults posted by user am i the a-hole sexist tradition titles am I the a-hole for refusing to contest a will I'm probably the a-hole but hey let's see what the internet people think my father passed away during New Year's Day it's been pretty rough but I'm doing much better now I have a younger brother and an older sister my father earns about 1,000 acres worth of land in Texas when my brother and I were teens my sister was in college she got outed as gay to my dad and it didn't go down that good he eventually disowned her a couple of years later he tried to reach out to my sister which she understandably refused flash forward 20 years I am married and have a kid my sister is also married but they have no kids my brother moved to Jamaica and got involved any religion / cult there since the only kid my father has regular contact with is me he decided to give me the vast amount of his wealth namely his lands most of his other assets went to my brother and a single family heirloom went to my sister my sister and my brother want to contest the will if we all agreed to do it then we can divide the land equitably I don't see how I'm been fitting at all from this decision I want my future kids to be secure I have nothing to lose if I don't contest it also I don't think I've talked to either of them in a couple of years I'm obviously being called an a-hole by my siblings so am i won am i the a-hole just because you can hoard wealth doesn't mean you should hoard wealth especially from your siblings so you grew up with and I'm sure you had good relationships with our PE what's wrong with you why you using the excuse of your kids it's obviously you that once this you didn't care about your kids having it you don't care about your siblings do you you suck edits I've thought about this for a couple of days now I've decided to not contest it after getting an attorney oh I'm sure the attorney looked at it from a non-biased point of view plus my siblings were being jerks to me for basically their entire lives and they are still being huge jerks I guess this is a natural consequence of karma added to just to pay her off I'm going to offer her probably an anchor of landlocked property thanks for all your judgments you are a terrible person Opie you're the a-hole you wouldn't be losing anything at all you'd be helping right the wrong of your sister being treated like crap by her own father for simply being who she is your brother effectively cut off contact with your dad because of his religious beliefs cults separate people from their families it's part of what defines them as a cult and that was probably very upsetting and painful for your dad but your dad did the same thing to your sister because of his religious beliefs that's conjecture but tell me I'm wrong you're the only one who had sustained contact with your intolerant father just because you're the only sibling whose lifestyle he didn't disagree with you didn't earn anything here and do you have an opportunity to write years of wrongs committed upon your sister in particular also your kids definitely didn't earn that land so don't pretend you're more deserving of it on your behalf of your kids or that you stand to lose anything at all by dividing it up your brother's situation makes this stickier if he's truly part of a bonafide cults there's a decent chance that anything of value will do him we'll go to the cults I don't know what you do about that but your father was an a-hole to your sister in life and could have taken one final stab at making amends by including her in his will instead he's chosen to be an a-hole to her even in death you have a chance to do right by your sister be the hero or be the a-hole all of this he's benefiting from other people's homophobia and doesn't seem to have the problem with that seems to be the same thing everyone else thinks it's okay to benefit from something as long as you didn't do it if your father disinherited her because she married a black person it'd be okay to benefit from that racism rights I don't know people there's a lot of a-holes in this subreddits not the a-hole it wouldn't be in your or your children's best interest to contest the will that already leaves the biggest asset to you I don't see how acting in Opie's self-interest is an argument for them not being the a-hole I don't know about the brother not enough detail but it does seem here that at least the sister got screwed for coming outs and didn't really deserve to lose her share so yeah no alternative will result in more money for Opie but I get the feeling they are more interested in the money versus doing the right thing you're the a-hole what share the father tried to apologize and the sister rejected him that is her rights and no one would blame her for it but it seems a bit scheming and entitled to expect to come reap her share of his wealth afterward no reconciliation no bequeathing can't reject him in life and expect to be treated the same as the son who stayed to be fair it says he reached outs not explicitly that he tried to apologize he could have been one of those parents who wanted to be involved again without ever admitting wrongdoing even Opie says it's understandable that she refused posted by user have truck will travel titled am i the a-hole for not helping my coworker move after I showed up and no one was ready for the move and they started to belittle me over my life choices this happened this morning I agreed to help a work buddy to move since I had a large truck and a trailer that I could use the plan was simple I would show up at around 6:30 to 6:45 a.m. and we would start with the large staff couch beds etc and file any open space left with the packing boxes Phil sorry so while not everything had to be packed and ready to go they were still living in the house so you need access to some stuff I told them to have at least 70 to 80 percent event ready and his wife and kids can pack the rest for when we would travel into the new place about 50 minutes away he agreed to pay for the gas breakfast and lunch I agreed to be the driver and move our well I show up at 6:30 eights on and give them a call no pick up so I go up to the room which is on the third floor knock on the door and no answer so I try the phone again and after checking that I have the right address I don't want to wake up the wrong person I try the door again one of the kids opens up and done relieved that I have the right place I enter and find that a small pile of boxes on the wall and a large amount of junk just tossed around the room I asked to make sure that everything is packed I get some attitude from her about how she has kids and I don't so I need to shut up about it but he shows up and joins her and take it about a dozen or so bingo is about my life choices and how I need to help them out some more since they have kids and I don't and I can start with buying everyone breakfast and helping pack the boxes after about 20 minutes of this I just left and went home I have about 100 missed calls and texts right now from them and have no real motivation to return to help them out edit I started to read through the texts after calling off a bit and reading your replies I have gotten half apologies blaming a hangover and that they were joking about breakfast and asking what are they going to do without my help so far I have not responded but I think my only response should be is rent a truck headed to thank you everyone this is going to be my last response for the day did I mention I got up at 4 a.m. to get everything ready and to leave at 6 a.m. to be there on time so I'm going to get ready for bed soon a few updates I did call my and his superior and gave him a dry run down on what happens that they were not ready to move and to ask if they needed to come in for that day since I was only five minutes away I texted the other two managers to make sure as well I am a jack of all trades guy and can cover for everyone but if they think I am busy with buddies move they won't call me and I am always happy for some overtime cash when I'm already in the area I picked up some Hardee's and went home and killed some digital ninjas with the old clear response it seems that they're using the kids phones to text and harass me as well I think they're the kids numbers since they're not in my caller ID all I see is the phone number in provider I've needed all the conversations but I'm keeping a record of them all so buddy was given a three-day weekend just for this move so I will not know more until Tuesday I'm actually covering his shift for this on Monday normally I only work for 12 to 16 hours days a week well there's a 16-hour days four in a row I know that's normal for some people but I would die so I guess in this situation Opie is definitely not the a-hole I don't get where these parents are coming from with their excuses to just abuse someone that's taken time out of their day to come help them so early in the morning you were literal trailer trash just disgusting trash for saying that to Opie and he deserves do you know to just walk straight out go home all right you're not gonna be helpful see you later this was a favor to you guys screw you bye sometimes you just have to take the high road and just say all right your loss not the a-hole they were getting free labor and a moving truck and decided to not be ready and then demand you buy them breakfast girl by this screw them dude they were getting free labor plus a truck saving hundreds of dollars and had the balls to treat him like that ungrateful people are so cringy and Opie did the right thing by leaving and saving the text messages they were just using him anyways it looks like with the $60 tip I gave my movies it cost just over two thousand dollars to move my two-bedroom apartment into my house that's trucks and about six hours of labor obviously they may not have paid for actual movers I lived alone so it literally was my only option but I would have loved to get a truck and another person to help for free instead of spending a grands absolutely not the a whole lesson I learned as a kid that moved to Lots never pay off the guy with the truck especially if you aren't paying them they're already being inconvenienced by you just assuming they can help you because they have a truck I would have charged at least thirty an hour for hard labor like that moved seven years ago everything was packed and even wait boxes with destinations furniture was disassembled to be easy to carry the cellar storage had been moved before by car ten o'clock I was ready loading boxes in the truck eight people showed up by 10:30 everything was in the truck by 10:45 we were at the new place by 11:15 I went for a second round for a few things that did not fit in the meantime the other six people unpacked some stuff and disabled some furniture I had filled the fridge with cookies sandwiches soda beer candy and snacks by 12 o'clock we were sitting around the table having a Merry time we did a bit more unpacking and assemble the bed and then headed to the pub where I bought everyone food and beer it would probably have been cheaper to just Hyrum roofing company but now I got to meet my best friends and treat them for about two hours of work and I wanted to read that one because that is a prime example of how to treat people doing free work for you posted by user general Grevious titled x' am I the a-hole for living with my boyfriend and not wanting to pay rent so I've been with this guy for just over a year and we live in different cities so usually I just go see him every other week but since now it's the summer and I don't have to go to university for a while I've basically been living with him for the past month or so rarely going back home yesterday he asked me if I could pay some of the friends to which I replied that I already pay rent for my own place and that his rent is really expensive and I could never afford it the flat is really nice brand new and in a prime location we exchanged some more words and he just got upsets and we haven't really talked ever since I'd like to point out that his rent is four times my own that I'm a student and I don't have a job he has a full-time job but he has been struggling a bit financially lately due to shutting down his air B&B business because of the pandemic I'd also like to add that I do pay my share of groceries and other necessities this is just about rent edits sins have been asked to edit this in it was at my boyfriend's request that I unofficially moved in with him he definitely does not think I'm overstaying my welcome and while I'm fine with living at home and visiting every now and then he'd rather I stayed at his place Thanks you're the a-hole it sucks that it's so expensive but I don't think it's unreasonable for him to want some help with rent temporarily if you were living there basically full-time and contributing to the wear and tear of the place and whatnot quite relevant to check the comments in this case I hope he was convinced by the boyfriend to stay over and get swine debt if they want to stay at their own place boyfriend can't demand Opie's presence but also ask for rent if RP would just as well stay at their own place soft you're the a-hole are you also not using water gas electricity Wi-Fi a small contribution will go a long way just because you're a students doesn't mean you can get off with a few things not the a-hole as long as you're not living there officially and do you pay your share of groceries it would be unreasonable to ask you to pay double rents I'm surprised I'm not seeing more answers like this ft are not the a-hole RP is still paying rent and utilities at their own place if our P's partner wants them to stay there there's no need to pay double rents if RP gave up their own place and moved in it would be different but as the situation stands it's not a repeats problem that their partner is having a hard time paying their own rent if you need additional income help get a roommates g'day there guys it's your main man marki back at it again with another episode of our /mi the a-hole now if you loved this video I want you to sit back relax Chuck a prawn on the barbie a like on the video and get ready for some bloody good contents

Channel: Markee

Views: 22,257

Rating: 4.8673739 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: BeljhcwVjxQ

Length: 155min 36sec (9336 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 24 2020