r/AmITheA**Hole For Letting My Boyfriend Do All The Work?

g'day there guys it's rosie hubby machi back at it again with another episode of our /mi the a-hole now with that said I want you to sit back relax Chuck another prone on the barbie why ship Steve Irwin and just do whatever you do because I want you to have a good time listening to this episode our first post is my throw away raw 1992 titled am i the a-hole for refusing to help my boyfriend with his business after he publicly declared it was just him my boyfriend runs a small food business has done for the last few years I have my own job but since he's begun cooking professionally I have always been involved from helping with menus doing his finances and packing orders for delivery etc I have always felt like it was partly mine I have always assumed he saw it the same way as it's never been hey can you help me with this but rather you need to do this for me today although I have put some of my own money into this business I never expected to be an equal partner but as I spend around 20 hours a week doing work for him some credit would be nice up until recently he would usually say we in most social media posts and I assumed that was the both of us it is really all the credit that I needed the other day he made an Instagram business post which was partly about how difficult it is to operate right now and paraphrasing said it was particularly difficult for him as he was doing this totally by himself as usual i proofread his post I was pretty hard to see the line about not having any help and I did bring it up he said that it was better for the business if it looked like it was all him a few hours later he asked me to package up some orders for shipping I retorted that he should do it himself if it's better for business I was partly joking but he was furious in his reaction and I've now told him I won't do anything for him he is now trying to fill in some forms something I normally handle and struggling the one friend I've told thinks I should help him as it's not like I want a public declaration of my existence and this is a stupid fight I think that if my work isn't being rewarded with cash some basic respect would work - I also think it might be worth him learning how difficult he had my nominally boring some of the work I do for him is so am I the a-hole update Jesus there are a lot of comments I've read through most and here is where I currently stands I have no intention in completely stopping doing work for him or breaking up with him or reporting him to the police for financial abuse as one DM helpfully suggested but I do want him to gain at least some understanding of what I do over the last few years I've always done the majority of the Bo H stuff as it's similar to my main gig and relatively easy for me but this role has clearly snowballed into a part-time GM job and it's time I set some boundaries tomorrow I'll have a chat with him and if I've not been made redundant from my actual job discuss me maybe teaching him to do what I do and transitioning back into more of a helper role tonight he can suffer doing some emails not the a-hole you contribute to the business he deserve credit or wages if he's not going to do either let him see how hard it is without you twenty hours a week is a part-time job on top of your main job it's not fair to you to be unacknowledged for him to use you as free labor I think it's good for him to actually do the work Opie has been doing for him so he fully appreciates how much goes into it people like that usually dismiss what others do is unimportant and nothing compared to what they do unfortunately he is going to have to realize everything that Opie has been doing for him and then show them some respect and appreciation for what they do frankly I think a couple struggling together would look better for the business the poor bloke is gonna realize twenty hours on top of everything else he's doing is going to be nightmarish and it'll be easier to do the right thing then to pretend he isn't being backed up massively by Opie my guess is his business isn't viable if he has to compensate her for the time she works and her original funding or has to do it himself his entitled attitude that jumped to rage when Opie refused hints at some serious underlying stress between the three him Opie ends the business everyone sucks here yes he was a douche because saying me and my partner who also works a full-time job in his message is equally as positive a message for his business and his custom shouldn't be based on sympathy and charity it should be based on a great service or products I digress a lot of the responses here are declaring that you spite him to make a points I agree with this approach if it is a regular old douchey colleague or acquaintance but this is your partner and it requires a lot more respect in consideration from each of you to be heard and learn from each other don't risk things going sour food pun over making a point that could be more healthily made in other ways as my partner always says to me use your words good luck you're the a-hole he's using the phrasing of him being on his own because it's a more moving story than the two of you he even explained this to you and you said in the past he has always used we and us phrasing you're being selfish and wanting some recognition when he is trying to ensure his business survives any way possible including marketing it as a one-man show on the outs it's a single Instagram post edits this is perfect there's a guy who created a business with the help of his partner and the only thing that people care about is how much credit she gets during a single Instagram post during a pandemic posted by user label me introvert titled am I the a-hole for telling my 9 month pregnant girlfriend's we are not getting rid of our four month old puppy just because she's getting overwhelmed for starters she's 39 weeks she's literally about to pop she also got the dog without consulting me it was literally a spur-of-the-moment thing with her and not one time did I [ __ ] about it or trip he's the loveliest golden lab mix with green eyes I will say he's a handful and although our apartment is spacious it's only but so big I feel like he sleeps most of the time but when he's in play mode he can be a bit much I pretty much choked it down to the lack of special attention obviously she's pregnant so the urge to take Mountain walking on a consistent basis while I'm at work is rather non-existent I'm not saying she doesn't at all but I feel like a properly trained dog is gonna behave and adhere to house rules I take him out of least twice a day and to the park at least twice a week there I'm well aware that he should be at the park more secondly I just feel like she's missing the principle she took on the responsibility and now she's overwhelmed quite unquote she even laughed when her sister-in-law suggested we put him on the side of the road at her sister's mother Day dinner not to mention she rushed into finalizing to move into our current apartments which she low-key hates she's a serial offender when it comes to this type of stuff furthermore I feel like I compromised with literally everything whenever her four nieces and nephews want to come over I might [ __ ] about it but I give in I give in to whatever she wants to eat whatever she wants to drink when we order food I pay all the bills and utilities I pay whenever she needs her hair done etc she literally has zero responsibilities she hardly cooks or cleans and I get it she's pregnant I just feel as though she can be a really selfish person at times but this time she's gone too far I've invested financially and emotionally into the dog and we haven't even had him a full month she gave me an ultimatum which is me or the dog and I responded no it's me and Cujo or nothing she also named him Cujo I could be wrong in this entire situation but I'm not budging not the a-hole your rights a dog is a lifetime commitment and it's lifelong commitment for them obviously why so many people confused by this and you both took on that commitment when you got him don't make him suffer and loses family animals are living creatures with feelings and attachments just like people and they get severely affected by abandonment your girlfriend is so wrong and being so selfish especially when she's the one who got him without thinking about it and without consulting you so many people have pets including young pets when they start families and they do just fine you guys will be fine - he's just being a puppy at this point because he's so young he'll grow out of that stage with time and like you said with proper training he can become very well behaved you sound like you're providing him with good care and a loving home with you anyway he's lucky to have such a dedicated and loving dad like you this is why I think that everyone sucks here the dog will be home with her all day and she's going to be busy with a newborn if she's not making the effort now to interact with the puppy she definitely warrant after the baby comes and he won't be around enough to make up for that that's not fair to the puppy as the puppy gets older without training the more effort in patience it will take to train him let's face it she's not going to do it and they should find the puppy at home now rather than wait til it gets bigger and untrained and harder to find someone to take him how does the husband secure that he thinks he can force her to be a good dog owner therefore putting the puppy through her negligence every day rather than finding the puppy a good home right now maybe if she didn't go out and get a dog without consulting him and maybe if she wasn't now a crappy person for treating a dog like a disposable object I'd agree with you but she did both so I don't these comments are ridiculous dude everyone sucks here she's 39 weeks pregnant with your first child if she's voicing to you she can't handle the dog believe her a newborn is no fudging joke she's not gonna be able to handle that and an untrained puppy yeah she sucks she doesn't do anything else she's entitled blah blah blah but she's a human being and she can potentially have PPD and snap you don't want that the dog is four months old not four years old all these people saying you don't give up a dog of Rights but literally you have had this dog for a month a ton of people will be happy to take a golden land puppy off your hands do the right thing Andrey hermits you might be able to recoup some of your costs and the dog will be happier too they haven't even had it for a month she does virtually nothing and can't handle a damn puppy that she bought without consulting him how the hell is she gonna hand new-born if she can't handle a puppy posted by cancer friend titled am I the a-hole for being irritated that my friend calls herself a cancer survivor I'm female early thirties my friend is Bethany is female mid-30s and I've known her for years recently Bethany had a basal cell carcinoma removed from her face basal cell carcinoma are the most common type of skin cancer especially for people who have spent a lot of time in the Sun they can be disfiguring if they're left untreated but they don't metastasize like other cancers so they don't really pose a huge risk to your life for health I've known a couple of other people who have had bcc's but after initially panicking at hearing the word cancer they tend to get it removed without much fanfare Bethany on the other hand has been posting on social media about living with cancer the fear of receiving the diagnosis surviving cancer and self identifying as a survivor she hasn't been specifying what kind of cancer she had either so many people are understandably worried I also know some people who have or have had real capital see cancer the type where you do chemo and write letters to your loved ones in case you don't make it so I found Bethany's post pretty tasteless with BCC's you can get them removed in ten minutes at the doctors usually using topical anesthesia that numbs the area the day before Bethany was going in for this she massed texted our friend group and said she was scared for her surgery I privately thought she was overstating the procedure a little by calling it that but I rushed to reassure her I validate it that it was scary but that she would be okay and mentioned something about how I was scared the year prior when I'd had a tumor removed from my abdomen for context it was not a malignant tumor but it was causing problems where it was which is why they took it out I had to go into the surgical center and stay there half the day get prepped go under general anesthesia care for the incision site wound for the next few weeks the whole shebang Bethany responded to me referencing that experience by saying that doesn't count it wasn't cancer I didn't want to make a thing of it when she was dealing with her own worries but that comment really rubbed me the wrong way I feel like I may be taking it too personally though I haven't said anything to Bethenny and I'm not going to but I've been nursing this intense irritation over the whole situation am i a huge jerk for privately policing my friends language around a medical event that is genuinely frightening to her especially since it's really the first big health scare of her still youthful life am I being too snotty about essentially gatekeeping cancer is it petty of me to think of her social media posts as attention-seeking or to think that they trivialize other people's battles with cancer given that she does medically speaking have a type of cancer I can't really check my thoughts on this without anyone IRL so I'd really like a check either way is this a reasonable thing to privately grumble to myself over or am I the a-hole and it's I'm kind of surprised by how heavily the comments are leaning towards not the a-hole and it's making me think that maybe I wrote this post to be too one-sided I wanted to add a comment I wrote in one of the replies for more context I think I may even be understating my irritation in this post with some of our social media posts that I've felt misrepresented the gravity of the situation I felt something closer to I guess rage that's still too strong a word but it sometimes closer to the raged neighborhood than the irritation neighborhood it seems like a huge overreaction on my part and it really did get to the point where when she would bring up her cancer it was like a big non screen would slide over my emotions like I was fatigued of hearing about it and I just feel annoyed it got to the point where I would instantly assume bad faith on her parts when she'd mention it assuming she was trying to milk it like something inside of me would just go oh boy here we go and this is someone I love and care about it's a bit scary to feel that way to be honest and even though I haven't said anything and I've tried really hard not to let my irritation show in facial expressions etc the fact that I feel this way at all makes me think that I may be holy Oh you're the a whole-wheat gatekeeping cancer now yeah that's a fair perspective and it's something I've been worrying about read my reaction it seems kind of petty to feel this way when my friends truly is scared and does medically have a cancer diagnosis I totally get where you're coming from and it would probably get under my skin also but she does actually have a form of cancer and that can be really scary I'm impressed with how receptive you are to other opinions I wish more people will like you to be fair her friend completely disregarded Opie's own scary surgery experience to remove a tumor you're the a-hole you have no right to get keep cancer and if being a cancer survivor rewards any kind of social capital in the form of sympathy the issue shouldn't be that she doesn't deserve it but that said class shouldn't receive extra capital not the a-hole as someone whose mother has fought for real types of cancer screw your friend I second this screw your friends as someone who has MS serious and potentially disabling I rarely post about it on social media unless it's MS Awareness Day once a year and I want to increase awareness for others people who post about their minor health issues on social media piss me off I will third this that doesn't count it wasn't cancer this is awful also I'd trade mine on cancer along with a dozen plus surgeries in two decades of pain for basal cell carcinoma any day and twice on Sunday agreed I'd trade my hip disease for BCC any freaking day after two hip surgeries at 17 and face me a third at 19 living with chronic pain and arthritis it would be a blessing updates am I the a-hole for being irritated that my friends calls herself a cancer survivor and updates to my previous post I never ended up talking to Bethany about her behavior and I also made sure not to vent about the situation to anyone IRL since that would have just created unnecessary drama that said Poston kiyah really helped me so much in dealing with Bethany and giving myself permission to just turn off my brain when she brought up cancer however about three months after my last post Bethany's sister who's all in the same social circles as Bethany also got diagnosed with BCC she had the same procedure done but was much more transparent and honest about the whole process including what the doctor told her about BCC not having many risks after that Bethany thank God stopped posting about being a cancer survivor and mostly stopped mentioning her own BCC altogether with just a vague mention every few months the timing was really merciful for me because a friend of mine who has cancer has been going into and out of remission pretty much her whole life and who knows for a fact her cancer is going to be the thing that kills her someday went out of remission around that time and I think I may have lost my cool with Bethany if she'd still been framing herself as a survivor during that time thanks again everyone edits to clarify I'm not glad that my other friend Bethany's sister got BCC it was a source of stress and discomfort for her and I was sorry to see her go through that I was just relieved that Bethany stopped talking about her own experience in the way that she was previously men my dad had that same cancer in his finger weirdly and he was calm about it and acted like it wasn't a big deal at all because it wasn't though he did tell us that when we complain he's going to be like well I have cancer so and he was just joking and hasn't even done that I can't stand people who make a big deal out of nothing but I'm glad she finally stopped posted by user Ruby Rose 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 titled am I the a-hole for demanding something my great grandmother promised I'd have from a distant relative even when it's in her will that get goes to me when my great-grandmother moved a couple years ago a bunch of my mum's cousins my second cousins helped her and took a bunch of stuff without asking my great-grandma about it my mother grandmother and I couldn't help in the move because my mum was in the hospital of a month straight she's so much better in hell my great-grandma will be 96 this year ever since I was a little kid my great-grandma has told me that I would be getting a necklace from her it was my grandma's first ever diamond that my great-grandpa gave her they lived a happy marriage and the thing was quite well taken care of for it being around 70 years old she put it in a box and planned on giving it to me either when I turned 21 or for my wedding or when she passed it would go to me she even addressed the Box to me to make sure I'd get it well when she moved and my second cousin's helped this necklace disappeared the oldest of the cousins took it and at first she had thought she put it in her closets with her other jewelry now after two to three years it's still gone a couple weeks ago the oldest second cousin posts a photo of the box with the necklace in its with what my grandma wrote it to and says she was cleaning and found a family heirloom my great-grandma has it really fancy writing it's sometimes hard to read but you can easily see my name's is spelled onit's I want to ask for this necklace as my great-grandma had intended for it to go down to the firstborn female in my family my grandma would have gotten it but she has passed and wouldn't want it my mum would prefer I'd have it's great grandma had a son and a daughter my grandmother and planned to give it to my grandmother I want to ask for this necklace when it's supposed to go to me as I want to wear it for special events like my great-grandmother wants me to especially since I'm getting married soon it might the a whole for demanding a necklace that was promised to me not the a-hole sounds like someone stole it if it's in her will it belongs to you well if she's dead anyway no she is still very much alive but she would have given it to me as I turned 21 a few months ago but it had went missing she didn't know if she would be alive long enough for me to get when I turned 21 or if I got married earlier she would have given it to me before the wedding she's currently 96 almost 97 in May so why can't you get grandma to address this for you I doubt anyone is going to kick up a fuss if grandma takes control of the situation because she has no way to contact her and Lee my mother and I contact her and has no way to contact her about it nor would she remember plus second cousin constantly changes numbers so I couldn't ask about it either without having trouble with your mother called the cousin who has it and explained the situation why are you scared to ask for it when it's yours anyway because my mother said she may use the excuse that I should have helped my great-grandma move if I wanted it so bad only really close family knows my mother was in the hospital and she's very hard to contact she constantly changes numbers so what number me or my mother have are both ones she stopped using plus I'm only 21 and she's at least twice my age same a try to pull a Karen technically she was the first order my grandmother's brother had but it was supposed to go to my grandma and then to my grandma's oldest daughter my aunts but she passed as an infant so my mother got its call the police she stole something which isn't hers good good advice I think we can see why she changed his numbers so often probably stealing from everyone tell her you want your necklace not the a-hole it was planned to go to you your name is clear on it and it was property of your great-grandmother's and she wanted you to have it ask for it and if it's in her will enforce it when you need to update am i the a-hole for demanding something that was promised to me by my great-grandma from a distant relative with the advice you gave me here I had commented on her post and personally notified my second cousin that I was supposed to get the necklace not her at first she made claim that she had no idea what I was talking about which was kind of true as the necklace going to me was the only told to me by my side of the family anyways as it was supposed to go to my grandmother but she passed and my mother didn't want it so it would go to me she then made an excuse that I should have helped my great-grandmother move in order for me to get it when I couldn't my mother was in hospital and I was only 15 16 17 years old it's been some time so I don't remember how old I was I'm now 21 it started - sure she wasn't planning on giving it back but I decided one day when I was hanging out with my great-grandmother I called cousin and great-grandma talked to her I think it made my cousin feel bad as great-grandma made it very clear I was to have its cousin had tried to make a deal with me she was willing to give it back if I was to promise when her daughter 12 would be able to have it when she got married in the future I said no as I plan to give it to my children when they are older she did send it back and it's currently in my possession and kept when no one can take it but me thank you so much for the advice you guys gave me and now I have the at least 70 year old necklace back and I'm super excited to wear it on my wedding day in a couple of months and it's I do plan on getting it appraised by someone I know very well like you guys suggested edit to had it appraised surprisingly it was the real thing and since it's a European cut diamonds it's worth more than a normal diamonds in production but I don't ever plan on selling it as I plan to give it to my children am I the a hole for evicting an old woman over a cat pee ITA I am a pretty successful landlord in my area I've been renting our properties for about 20 years and it's let me purchase a pretty nice home and pay for private school tuition for my kids however every once in a while I get some real problem tenants anyways here's the story my properties have an unconditional no pets rule I don't care to take care of the messes or damage the results from having pets more importantly many of the tenants bring in pets that are illegal my city has a pit bull ban and of course bans on exotic pets and I find that it's just simpler to ban all pets then to let people weasel out with bull crap like oh it's a Great Dane Labrador mix and she's the sweetest thing I also don't allow cats because I'm allergic and to marry obviously not a real name Mary is an 86 year old woman who lives in one of my properties shortly after she moved in I went over to check on her property make sure she was moved in well and everything she now had a cats obviously this was in violation of the contract so I told her that she had to get rid of its I have figured that this was said and done I'd come back and the cat would be gone it was a young cats so I didn't imagine there would be any separation anxiety or anything anyways a few weeks ago I went back to the apartments and noticed the cat was still there this frustrated me it's my property I made the rules clear and here still was the cats I told her that she was being evicted and formally served her later that day a few days after I served her the covent crisis really began in earnest my lawyer assured me that I would be legally clear having started proceedings before the crisis but my poker buddies tell me I'm a dick for kicking her out she doesn't have much family or anything but the way I see it I was just enforcing my rules so am I the a-hole thanks to whoever decided to harass me through the reddit gold if you are actively trying to make this elderly woman move during a pandemic you're the a-hole in fact you're one of the worst a-holes in recent history not to mention that eviction after one notices way harsh you should as a landlord have a system in place to find a tenant for breaking a rule prior to eviction proceedings you're a total a-hole for eviction tenants generally only need a 30-day notice how many notices do you think Opie should give then at least more than a verbal notice one written warning and a final written notice seem closer to reasonable than one verbal notice and then eviction also to evict during a pandemic an trent is protected from that right now and it's I overlooked where he said he started the process pre-pandemic but damn rethink priorities you're the a-hole you're the a-hole holy crap this is why no one likes landlords imagine being this much of an a-hole to an old woman in a pandemic you're not living in the property you're actually going to kill her if you make her homeless in a pandemic that is specifically dangerous to older folk you'll have blood on your hands you're the a-hole I get enforcing a rule but I guess having a shred of humanity might have made this a different situation good for you that you won't have any legal recourse because obviously that's more important than being decent congratulations everyone sucks here she signs knowing the rules you gave her a chance to get rid of it she chose not to being old doesn't make you immune to the rules it does put you at risk for covered though I would give her one more chance to get rid of it to avoid eviction if at all legally permissible charter a fee let her stay on the sole condition that the cat goes he already tried that though told her the cat had to go next time he was there the count was still there not the a-hole this goes against my every instinct since I love cats and I don't like imagining a defenseless old lady being homeless but if you were to care about every tenant who can't pay their rent or don't follow the rules and who wouldn't have where to go you'd end up broke in no time it sucks for you you're the bad guy in everybody's story I'm surprised this is the first time you're asking yourself these questions well since this situation touched you you could go the extra mile and offer her assistance in finding a more suitable place to live I don't know I do think that he's the a Hall in this situation it's a very clear-cut case the pandemic is out here to get them why why put them on the street I know that they've screwed up but come on this can be an exception kind of nights posted by user Garuda work at third darude titled am i the a half and not sharing my medical history before being pranked hey oh I'm schizophrenic started when I was 22 and will last till I die I'm active in schizophrenic communities go to groups the works but I am fairly private about it to most people to include friends it's fairly common for people to think I'm eccentric it comes with the turf due to some of my habits those habits include not going to parties or other places with lots of people suddenly deciding not to do something I have to be protective so as not to do or go to certain things if I think a delusion might be coming on saying the occasional odd quip you know normal schizophrenic stuff some friends thought it would be funny to make it seem like I might be going crazy as a group they would individually wear something silly like a wizard hat or a dinosaur costume another t-rex blow-up costume to a group event or say something totally out of the ordinary and pretend like it was normal police like to track people like you covert is just a way to microchip you etc these are very real scary thoughts to me I would ask members of the group if they had heard concerns about these conspiracies or we had gone to the other members but they all acted like they had hung out with that particular member that day and I hadn't been involved I was really really scared that this could have been a massive delusion morphing into a full psychosis so I preemptively checked myself into a hospital to stop myself from potentially hurting myself or diving further into the rabbit hole common in schizophrenic community I was so scared my medication stopped working no one heard from me for a few days while I was in the hospital and when I checked out I confided in one of them what it happens I got a really long apology explaining what had happened and I blew up at them I have ignored attempts from the others trying to apologize and have no desire to talk with them again am I the a-hole for not previously stating that I'm schizophrenic edits people have been asking saying to post the length of the prank it was around 3 weeks edit - thanks for the awards and stuff but I really want to highlight some of the messages I've gotten I'm at around 150 messages and Counting and I'm trying to respond to the ones where I can and hopefully offer insight resources that I find helpful are slash schizophrenia for groups just Google schizophrenia support groups in my area something will pop up and when you actually get there someone will have a further list and here's the rest of the information on screen you can pause if you'd like but it's really good I'm gonna continue with the episode though not the a-hole even if you didn't disclose your medical history they knew enough that saying those things would screw with you if he prank doesn't leave both parties laughing it isn't a prank it's bullying a prank is leaving plastic flamingos on a friend's lawn or something harmless like that that wasn't a prank when it comes to pranks confused don't abused one of my friends would prank the other by putting a bunch of sports in a yard when they knew she wasn't home it was hilarious she included candy canes for Christmas flamingos during summer and eggs during Easter it went on for a year before my friend came clean and admitted that she was the spork ah that's a good one I like that not the a-hole schizophrenia uh not this wasn't a harmless prank this was disrespectful and manipulative bullcrap that good friends don't pull on each other this is the part that really upsets me too for Opie this prank meant questioning his sanity thinking that he was expecting early warning signs his meds weren't working and he went into the hospital for help for those without a diagnosis they would have questioned their sanity thought they were experiencing psychosis and potentially ended up on medications or in hospital questioning their reality and seeking help there is no humor in this regardless of a person's history this to me is pure abuse and bullying posted by user Novel promise titled am I the a-hole for telling my daughter she is not receiving any inheritance when I pass away after she asked what inheritance she would be getting throw away because I know my daughter uses social media but I don't know which social media platform she uses plus I am NOT going to post on my main accounts I have two kids a 30 year old daughter and a 20 year old son I remarried with my new wife after my old man cheated with me two times my new wife is my daughter's stepmom and my son is the buyer child of my daughter's step Martin me and my wife have been married for 25 years my daughter was just five years old when we split me and my wife have a great relationship no one cheated we both checked each other's phones and computers as no one ever needed to hide anything me and my wife had a great deal of trust so I plan to give all the property to my wife when I pass away my daughter however asked today morning what inheritance she's getting as I'm getting pretty old I told her none my daughter yelled at me and then asked me what her brother is getting I told her he's not getting anything and that my wife is getting all the inheritance at this point my daughter started screaming at me saying she would love the house me and my wife lived in said if I gave it all to my wife she won't be getting anything I told her not my fault that she might not get anything because she treated my wife garbage even all the way to adulthood my daughter told me I was a piece of crap father and I was a garbage person so am I the a-hole everyone sucks here it's pretty normal to leave your property to your spouse but they didn't leave it to the children when they died but setting it up so she gets nothing in order to punish her for not loving your new wife is vindictive it's going to cause long-term resentment and division in your family I submit that the resentment train has already left the station hey same that he's required to leave the daughter money no matter what's even if not legally required if he doesn't assuming the daughter and wife didn't get on famously that would make him an a-hole I feel like I'm one of the few folks who don't expect crap from my parents when they pass I'm in that Burt it's their money not mine my dad is twice divorced both with very expensive alimony orders and has a new girlfriend he has spent a ton on doesn't bother me not my money and if he somehow dies with money left over I would actually be surprised if he gave it to me I guess I would say I don't think one is an a-hole for not leaving money to their kids by defaults everyone sucks here you can do whatever you want with your money that doesn't mean that with that freedom doesn't come responsibilities or consequences I have a hard time conceiving why you wouldn't want to let your daughter and son have at least some of the money to make their lives a little more financially secure and comfortable your children should come before your wife particularly since you both apparently seem to be of an age where you are set for life she sucks for asking about her inheritance it's not a very classy thing to ask and she's acting entitled to the money which she really isn't I'm refraining from judging her on her actions towards her new wife because I don't have the full history and I don't know if it could have been justified either way it sounds vindictive and that makes you in the wrong here as well a lot of people are saying not the a-hole a very it's your money but it being legally and possible to cut her out doesn't make him not an a-hole I agree here they all suck just because Opie can legally be spiteful to his daughter doesn't make him not the a-hole for doing it this sub skews young so they tend to see it in black and white so they default to well legally when that has nothing to do with whether or not you're an a-hole for doing something plenty of things illegal but would make you an a-hole to do them everyone sucks here but your daughter is behaving like a spoiled brats but I am wondering why you would not let your biological children inherit I believe that as a parents you want to leave something to your children after you're gone rights to take care of them feels to me like you're abandoning your own kids I'm wondering where the daughter's behavior is coming from her actions seem like a reaction to something the stepmother did but we aren't getting the whole story here well yeah I think we aren't getting the whole story here I think there's a lot of parts that are missing out I feel like there is a lot of bias with the Europeans writing this one I think I need more information to make a judgement but I'm gonna go with he's the a-hole for not leaving anything or the hell at least leave like a bike or something posted by user friends spare key titled mi da hole for taking away my friends spare key after she went into my house without permission so my best friend and I swapped keys to our houses in case of emergency we can get into each other's houses we've never had to use them except for once she forgot her keys at home and I let her in anyway over the weekend my boyfriend went to visit his mother and I went grocery shopping for the first time in like four weeks so the house was empty my boyfriend and I have some BDSM stuff in the bedroom that we didn't put away because we were lazy and didn't think anyone would see since no one was coming over not super insane just a pair of handcuffs and a rope anyways when I get home my friend was just in my house sitting in the dining room no warning she didn't tell me I was completely blindsided I asked her why she was in my house and she said that she had lost her necklace the last time she was here and waited until I was as to socially distance but then if entering my house without permission wasn't enough she started lecturing me on the BDSM stuff and how it's degrading and that I shouldn't let my boyfriend do that to me we've never really agreed on kinky sex in the past when we've talked about it so we had agreed just not to bring it up but also I'm not the one having stuff done to me my boyfriend is the sub I of course couldn't tell her this because I didn't want to embarrass my boyfriend I was super ticked and I took her key and told her not to bother contacting me unless it was to apologize for violating my privacy she says it wasn't fair to take my key back but I just pushed her out of the door and didn't listen because I was so mad she's been texting me how she didn't mean it as a violation of privacy and was just getting her necklace and happened to see but was worried for me I talked to one of my other friends about it and she said that I should just let it go and move on and that while I'm in the Wrights I am being uptight about it I don't think this is just a let it go and move on type of thing am I overreacting here am I the a-hole I think yeah from the get-go they're not the a-hole for thinking that it's like a huge invasion of privacy but forgiveness has to be given in a friendship but at the same time there's a one of things you just don't really judge people on that's their life man come on not the a-hole very suspicious behavior but how did she know you had gone in the first place if she wanted to social distance why was she waiting there when you got back the whole thing is super weird glad you got your key back I would consider changing the locks too she was sitting at the dining room table because she was snooping hurt her friend come home and ran to sit down like she was just waiting for her you say snooping I say casing but yeah she was definitely going through Opie's crap and ran to the kitchen when she heard Opie get her him not the a-hole change your locks to Opie she may have a copy not the a-hole entering your home without warning going in your room without permission lecturing you about your sexual life you are completely within your right to take away the keys and pushing her out of the door not to forget she broke social distancing rules I just want to know why does she so badly need that necklace if she doesn't sincerely apologize then I would consider the friendship over well also not to mention it would simply take a text saying hey I think I forgot my necklace at your house can I swing by and check posted my user wedding drama thro to two titled am I the a-hole for going ahead with my original wedding date which was the same as my half-sisters my older half-sister has always had an issue with me and my brother she always felt that our dad treated us better than her when in actuality my dad was constantly putting her over everyone else because she would always throw ridiculous tantrums she also treated me and my brother poorly and always made our dad choose between us and nine times out of ten he would do as she said just to avoid the drama last April my now husband and I told everyone informally to save the date because we managed to snag a venue in October while we were still designing our wedding invitations my older sister sent out wedding invites for her own wedding on the exact day as ours to this day she claims it was all a coincidence but I know for a fact that our dad told her my chosen date before she confirmed hers I also know she booked a venue after we did moving our wedding would have meant losing our deposits but I was furious more about her intent than the cost so I stood firm and said I wasn't changing the dates I was sick of her constantly running our lives this put on down through a lot of crap and many people were buying her story that I purposefully picked the date after she did since she sent out the invites first her story seemed more believable my dad said he'd pay for the loss deposit if I moved the wedding which just ticked me off more and I was definitely not changing it at that point the one thing I compromised on was having my wedding in the afternoon while hers was in the evening so despite all the drama which resulted in permanently blocking my sister from my phone both our weddings happened on the same day mine went off without a hitch it was beautiful but a large number of dad's side of the family got stuck in traffic rushing to hers they missed the actual ceremony and my dad wasn't able to walk her down the aisle I watched her scream at our Father until he was in tears she made our grandparents pay for half of her wedding after the fact as an apology for being late she made my father pay the downpayment for her new home as another apology but even now she has not let it go she still says her wedding was ruined and she uses it to guilt our father into trying to make it up to her my dad's toxic relationship with her is not my concern anymore but the amount of fallout from not compromising on my end was pretty shocking to me was either a-hole the only person who seems to be winning here is your sister hugely discounted wedding a partial house you're not an actual a here but after years of her bad behavior you your dad your dad's family are the only ones suffering everyone sucks here would I guess be the judgment just because you were right doesn't mean you always should your sister sounds like nightmare condolences I've accepted at this point that she will always get more financial help than my brother and I it doesn't bother me anymore everyone feels so guilty that she had to grow up in - very nice homes that they've raised a monster I honestly don't care about what she does anymore and would like to focus on my own life which I'm very happy with I feel sad that our dad is basically being abused but I can't help him if he doesn't want it the best revenge is living well someone like her is never going to be happy I'm sorry you were put in such a crappy situation enjoy your awesome life not the a-hole if you sent out the dates while finalizing your invites why are people believing she had the date first I'm sorry your dad's family is being abused by her but honestly that's not your problem your dad raised a little brant monster who grew up into a spoiled entitled bridezilla I emailed 80% of my guests with an email save the date she had paper invites out before me and she lied and said she had booked it first she's a trash human being why are people believing she picked the date first because she's a professional liar I have a screenshot showing my dad told her about my wedding date before she booked our venue I show this to anyone who questions me but she has everyone on her mother's side against me luckily I don't care about them she sounds toxic as hell definitely going to contact she is not worth it did your dad apologized to you for causing this situation or leaving your wedding for hers everyone left my wedding when I expected them to there was an accident that caused them to be stuck in traffic I have mixed feelings about our dad I know my half-sisters mom was a really toxic person who imparted a lot of that personality to my sister and my dad was stuck trying to make sure he could still see my sister but he did this at the expense of my brother into myself he has apologized for my sister's actions but when she feels no remorse it means nothing Jesus not the a-hole she deserved a ruined day if this is how she acts I can't believe your family gives in to her bullying everyone sucks here while I think she's clearly terrible it seems like the main reason you didn't want to move was because of the relationship between the two of you regardless of how much harder it made things for everyone else yes it sucks that you both were trying to get married on the same day and that she knew beforehand is beyond inexcusable and definitely would be a reason to cut her out of your life but by going ahead anyway I feel like you did a huge disservice to your guests by playing her dumb game everyone sucks yeah her attitude and rage toward her father and family is horrible but I can't care less about who got there first your father offered a solution to pay your deposit and move your date neither of you were willing to compromise your childish squabble escalated to a miserable day for everyone involved your family your guests and I'm sure the service people despised both of you a wedding day is supposed to be joyful for everyone involved that day was a dumpster fire and everyone knew it was coming posted by user MF cookies titled am I the a-hole for yelling at my husband for eating the wrong cookie yes this is some petty ass nonsense I 37 female made some fancy cookies for a friend's birthday this past week the amount of planning that went into these cookies was silly to be honest slowly but surely I collected the ingredients I needed through some annoying ass grocery and Amazon orders and miraculously and everything I needed to make these cookies on time for my BFF's birthday baking them was also a hassle I had to bake them in small batches in order to correct the dough until I got the perfect cookie so I'm running back and forth to the kitchen for hours while also taking care of my 10 month old son I made extra cookies because my hobby has a sweet tooth huh b38 mail comes home from work and is excited that I made cookies I tell him how hard I've been working on these tricky Oz cookies and tell him very specifically that there are six cookies that he must not eat that are perfect in size and shape and decoration and will be given to my BFF I tell him this twice because I can't stand the thought of having to deal with more cookie decorating I even separated the off-limit cookies from the rest so it's obvious which ones are not meant for him he nods in acknowledgment that evening he's back and forth in and out of the kitchen eating cookies getting chocolate on the fricking sofa as he eats them at some points I check on the perfect six gift cookies to see if the decorations have set out and what's this one of the six quarantined cookies is missing I ask hubby why he ate one of the special cookies and he just laughed oh honey the other cookies were too big and I just wanted one last small cookie I was only a little mad at first but kind of shocked I told him I can't believe you just did that when I told you not to twice what the hell dude his reaction it's not a big deal sweetie are you really going to get upset over a cookie there are so many cookies left just use one of the others or give her five instead of six at that point I got a little more angry I told him that I wanted an apology and that he was being inconsiderate he rolled his eyes at me and apologized sarcastic and demanded that he would sleep on the couch tonight because we're arguing about cookies now he said I was being immature for arguing with him about cookies he gives me the silent treatment for the rest of the night and slept on the chocolate stain so far now I'm fudging ticked and Confused am i an a-hole because I made a big deal out of this stupid cookie situation Wow at first I was going to say you're the a hall from the title but after reading that you specifically asked him not to and he did it anyway and then dismissed your concerns knowing full well he was eating a gift your husband is a gigantic flaming bowl of a whole it's not petty that you're ticked he completely disregarded your work your efforts and a gift for someone else that's just wrong not the a-hole it's not about the cookies it's about the complete disregard for other people in favor of his selfish gluttony agreed also baking is an exact science and I can attest that it can take like obese said hours to perfect the recipe just to remake that one cookie could take just as long to figure it out because as you add more ingredients it becomes harder to keep track of all the measurements so RP would likely have to go through the entire process again not the a-hole and the husband is a total dick months in some cases I made over 120 versions of biscuits recreating my great grandmother's recipe flavor and texture I made 40 Plus versions of the waffle batter getting it just so other things too it's a love affair and when someone craps on it it feels terrible not the a-hole honestly this is not that petty your husband specifically and intentionally disrespected your hard work then belittled you when you got frustrated I have a hard time reading this and not imagining that he doesn't have a long history of being a huge a-hole and a crappy partner yes it's not about the cookie it's about you asking him something specific and him not respecting you enough to comply it's especially worth considering you had already accommodated him with his own set of cookies why couldn't he break one of the bigger cookies in half it's also about how absolutely condescending and disrespectful he was to RP when she called him on his behavior after the facts he made a Power Move and then he started gaslighting her about her reaction to it trying to make her feel like her reaction was crazy unwarranted it's only cookies like nobody sane would get upset over cookies like he was the victim here I forgive a lot of things I am NOT a person who demands perfection at all times for my loved ones but if anybody treated me like Opie's husband treated her in this post I would cut them out of my life I spent my first 22 years being treated like my feelings don't matter and I won't voluntarily spend any more time with people like that I feel so so bad for Opie being married to this dude Opie you need to make him understand why what he did was cruel couples counseling if you have to well marquise believes that what was said is said I don't have an opinion outside of this this is absolutely the way to go it like that was a dick move you don't do that to someone and then get up them when you're the one in the wrong that's just incredibly dagesh and that's the wrong way to go about this happy wife happy life don't smack her down when she's proud of a creation anyway guys I'm gonna hand you off to outro Marcus now am I the a-hole for immediately discerning my fourteen-year-old daughter after I found out she wasn't mine so I will keep this as short as possible because I don't want it to blow up and risk people figuring out my identity and I'm just looking for genuine advice and judgment from a few comments and not more sir I found out my 14 year old daughters isn't my biological daughter but my wife's apps' daughter and to be honest I always suspected this and it wasn't out of nowhere as I had my doubts prior to this but never have I treated her differently compared to my biological children because of this never so I immediately filed for divorce and decided to contemplate hard and deep about the role I want in my her life I was almost leaning for joint custody where I got to see her once a week or something along those lines and decided I will be paying child support until she and my ex came to house last month to discuss and she said that she loves me so much but I need to understand that I shouldn't expect to mean more to her than her biological father so I lost it and was so furious and told them both to get the hell out and good luck getting a dime from her broke dad I feel really crappy about it and I know I was a jerk for that but this is not what I'm asking will I be the jerk if I decided that I don't want to be a part of the child's life and I don't live in the u.s. so no laws that require me to pay or anything sorry for my English I'm not a native speaker edit one I think I made a huge mistake by not including this in the original post but I'm worried she wants a relationship with me simply for the child support and I will not tolerate that at all headed to okay now in light of everything that has elapsed in the past few hours I need to disclose a very important detail that I left out on purpose we have agreed with my ex and daughter to meet today to finally decide on what's to come and this was the biggest reason I uploaded this post at the time I wanted to read every response in perspective possible before taking such a huge step so I'm gonna summarize what happens I started by telling her that I still love her like the old days and nothing has changed that but my strategy to make sure my existence in her life wasn't solemly for my money was clearly disclosing that I will financially support her on my own accord and to the extent I prefer my ex freaked out and tried to guilt trip but I was having none of that so I shut her immediately now here is where things started taking a turn my daughter tells me that if that's the way that I want it seeing her a few times a month and being more like a close family friend than a parent she respects my wishes and doesn't want to pressure me to raise someone who isn't his but she can't take me completely cutting her out of my life emotionally now what's to come is the part that makes me hate myself for underrating how kind and smart my daughter really is and how vile my ex also is I make it clear to her that if it was up to me I would love for her to be with me always but why I decided I can't fully be invested in her life is because I can't really stand her biological parents and she suddenly starts sobbing and crying out of nowhere her mother is stunned and I asked her what's wrong and she tells me that her mother before catching up and knowing that her bio dad is financially ruined she was trying to convince her to leave me for good and now that she hates her mother and wants nothing to do with her mother anymore and she is ready to give up any future relationships with her by her dad if that's what I once and I told her yes that was my only condition and also she explained she told me those things because she thought I didn't want her anymore and wanted to test the waters and see if I still wanted her to fully live with the family now of course my ex tried to take her and cut the conversation and I stopped her and now she is left while my daughter is still here so yes it's now more of a legal court thing more than anything else and I don't think we're gonna get an update on that but I'm gonna read out the advice everyone sucks here this child is not at fault for what the adults around her have done agreed our peas in a tough spot but it's not the daughter's fault you raised her for her entire life and this is just news to everybody besides your cheating wife I agree as well the wife could have admitted her mistakes years old but it's not the child's fault I think he's going through the emotions now which is understandable but to abandon her it's silly if you have been this girl's father throughout her life and suddenly stop because you're not biologically related then I'm sorry to say that yes you are the a whole parenting is about a lot more than biology I understand that you were lied to and I'm sorry about that it is inexcusable of your ex but your daughter should never be blamed for that put yourself in her shoes for a minute she believed you were her biological dad she loves you and then she found out she also has another father that she has never met she was not very tactful in the way she spoke to you about it but again she's 14 and in a very confusing space if you discern her and cut her off now it will harm her for life she'll feel like she doesn't matter only her genes and it will prove to her on some level that you didn't deserve her love rise above that mate prove them all wrong be the dad you've always been for her who knows if her biological father will even be willing to stamp up to that role or if he can do it as well as you have please don't punish your daughter because she is your daughter for a mistake that was not hers be the big man here show her what a real father is not the a-hole I mean your wife lied to you and lynched off of you for 14 years then your daughter told you that you don't mean as much to her as the biological father why would you want to be in their life at all the personal insults were unwarranted on your side but it's pretty minimal to what most people would have said in your position okay that's of the whole I don't know if I agree to that point Buffy I think personally everyone sucks here and that the father has a chance to redeem this by doing what was said in the edits and I hope that he rekindled the relationship with the daughter and that they live a happy life separated from those toxic people in their life that's my heartache posted by user potluck a whole titled am i the a-hole for throwing out someone's dish at a Mother's Day potluck this morning each year my neighborhood hosts a potluck for Mother's Day it's supposed to be a fun way for moms grandmothers families etc to celebrate several people have a common food allergy lactose intolerance so we usually set aside a separate table for dishes that don't have cheese this year a new neighbor Sally came and put her dish on the cheese free table I asked her what the dish was and it turns out it was something with cheese I explained what the separate table was for and moved her dish to the main table Sally wasn't happy I moved her dish and after a few minutes I noticed it was back on the table four plates without cheese so I moved it again to the main table again a few minutes later I saw Sally moving her plate back to the cheeseless table again at this point I had enough I threw her dish in the garbage because I didn't want someone allergic to cheese to accidentally eat it and get sick Sally made a scene and really put a damper on the event for many of the neighbors some people side with me especially the lactose intolerant people who were glad I was looking out for them others saying I took it too far by throwing the food Sally made in the trash I was curious about whether I was an a-hole in this situation oh my god that's one way to deal with this situation everyone sucks here for not practicing social distancing and not being responsible info just want to make sure you explained why you moved the dish correct if so not the a-hole how many times are you going to move it back for her to get the point she was being ignorant and selfish yes I explained it to her she believed the lactose table was more prominent and she wanted lots of people to try her dish she thought it wouldn't get enough attention at the main table I explained to her twice that we had people at the event that could get really sick if they ate the food she made oh yeah not the a-hole especially if people are going to blindly eat the food on the table expecting it to have no cheese not the a hole that's shockingly selfish and dangerous behavior on her part all for a prominent place Wow I'm feeling a little harsh today so I'm high-fiving you for throwing it in the trash I don't know if you guys realize how hard it is to find the response talking about the actual post there's just thousands hundreds of them flaming them from doing a potluck in the pandemic why would you guys host a potluck in a pandemic and I feel like it's a good idea why why do this posted by user my husband's work wife titled am I the a-hole for demanding my fiance tell his co-workers that he will not be renewing his vows with his work wife when they returned to the office my fiancee mark works closely with a woman Meghan they both have similar responsibilities and need to work together as a team I've never had any problems with this they really don't interact outside of work we've been working from home the last several weeks I happened to be in the living room with him yesterday while his office had their weekly zoom meeting during that meeting people began talking about what they wanted to do when everyone returned to the office I could hear someone say that my fiancee and Meghan must really miss each other several other began referring to them as work wife and work husbands then someone suggested that my fiancee and Meghan should renew their vows when everyone is back in the office mark just played along and joked that they would be registered at Office Depot I left the living room in tears while he continued oblivious to how I was feeling I confronted him after the call and said I felt humiliated our wedding was supposed to be in September but we've had to postpone it and it's not clear when it will be safe to reschedule and here he is talking about renewing his vows with someone from work Mark explained that it was just a joke and not a big deal he tried to show me some jerk article his office had been passing around and Hal teleworking is ruining work wife relationships I said the term work wife itself is offensive and humiliating because I'm supposed to be his wife I demanded that at his next meeting he needed to publicly apologize to his office and tell them that he will not be renewing his vows with Meghan because he is engaged to marry someone else I said he also needs to tell his office that they need to stop calling him and Meghan works spouses he says he can't do that because it will be embarrassing and turned his reputation at work with his colleagues I said oh is it hard to feel embarrassed I would never know what that's like he called me an a-hole now that I've cooled down a little I need to figure out if I overreacted everyone sucks yeah I think the whole work wife thing is disrespectful and silly but you did overreact to what was obviously a jerk he's not literally going to be renewing his vows with anyone or registering at office deeper and forcing him to tell everyone that they need to stop calling him and Meghan whack spouses is going to make a mountain out of a molehill and give everyone the impression that you're a difficult person just ask him to stop talking about it no they were actually planning out how to do it like we're in the office to hold the ceremony and reception etc my fiance was fully on board planning meanwhile I have to nag him constantly to help me reschedule our actual wedding plans in that case not an a-hole for asking that he don't go through with it but it would be embarrassing for him to publicly apologize and say he wouldn't go through with it in front of there everyone maybe ask him to talk to Megan separately and tell her it's only a joke and won't be doing a ceremony you're the a-hole but not for the reason everyone else is saying why the a-hole I demanded that his next meeting he needed to publicly apologize to his office this is weird overkill and embarrassing also doing this type of thing in a meeting could get your fiance in trouble with HR or something don't make him do this why I don't think you're the a-hole for the same reason other people do I am completely on your side that the work wife thing is weird as hell common yes but also deeply confusing and often damaging / offensive to the actual wife / relationship I think you were totally in bounds to put an end to this I simply think you did it wrong my boyfriend has a close friend who he called his work wife once I told him that it made me feel insecure and he stopped and that was the end of it I don't understand why he couldn't have just told your fiance that you don't want him calling her his work wife anymore why your fiance is not an a-hole he didn't know how much this would bother you a lot of people do the work wife thing which makes it seem normal he wasn't trying to hurt you but you reacted like he was marquise thinks that the mantra of a happy wife happy life is usually what you want to go with in life I know that's an unpopular opinion maybe but hey why piss off your significant other if you do love them and it's not such a huge deal I think don't do it in a public setting do what they suggested do it in private and say hey it's just just a joke let's just let this one die out let's not do a huge speech and get me in trouble with HR seems like a good way to deal with this situation posted by user primary cartoonists nine titled am I the a-hole for not breastfeeding my baby because she bites my daughter ten months old has recently started biting during breastfeeding when she starts to bite I simply tell her no and put her down immediately I only started doing this recently because my breasts kind of look like a war zone I'm bleeding and sore because of the biting and simply cannot take it anymore instead I've been pumping but even that is extremely painful until I let my breasts heal instead I've been doing a mix of pumping and formula my husband does not like this he was okay with me pumping and feeding our daughter until I started supplementing with formula he believes that breast milk is the best and formula is the devil because it's not natural or something at this age I'm giving her milk around four to five times a day and still attempt to breastfeed once or twice a day it reached the tipping point yesterday when he hid the formula so I'd have no choice but to breastfeed our daughter I asked him why he's doing this and he simply says he doesn't think I'm trying hard enough because I stopped simply because she's biting me and that a good mother wouldn't stop doing what's best for her child simply because she's in pain I'm sure you guys would have a field day on this guy not the a-hole based on title alone we'll go read your post but Dad it will change my mind edits I read it's Jesus freaking Christ not the a-hole is he bloody kidding I guess not or else you wouldn't be here and then that last parts this is just plain awful there's no mincing words no other way to put it how budging dare he I'm filled with righteous indignation on your behalf a good husband wouldn't Gaslight his wife into thinking that she is somehow doing her child wrong by making certain her child gets the nutrients she needs while makes certain that her own body isn't relegated to the status of a chew toy I don't even know you and I'm fuming not the a-hole and I'm sorry but if my husband did this to me he'd formula to try to force me to breastfeed double down by accusing me of being a bad mother if I didn't follow his command I would tell him I'd see the formula back immediately or I'd see him in courts same here I'm incredibly angry over this my husband overheard me angry typing my response in the next room and was like whoa who pissed you off well he can recognize what I mad due to how hard I'm hitting the keys this one makes me furious not the a-hole have her bite his nipple and see how much his pain isn't a big deal also you don't need a justification to discontinue breastfeeding regardless even if you just didn't feel like it anymore edited to add for what it's worth my husband thinks hiding the formula was a scummy thing to do - absolutely not the a-hole and he is gas lighting gear he's not the one having his nipples bitten off daily he needs to close his mouth in this one and support you there's nothing wrong with formula and your baby is almost at the point where they can eat real food anyways does your husband have a history of disregarding your feelings and needs for your body does he help equally with the baby PS you are not a bad mother for using formula shake my head he's actively trying to hurt you well I don't think I can read more without the same things being repeated but I hope I didn't make you guys too mad on this one Jesus posted by user husband fail throwaway titled am I the a-hole for telling my wife I no longer want children I'm not sure why I'm making this post I already feel like I'm the a-hole here guess I'll start with backstory I 27 male married my wife 25 female a little over two years ago and first we lived with her parents I would help out a lot to make up for what words obviously subsidized rents then six months later into marriage she got accepted into University and he placed three hours away so we got our own place my wife struggles with a lot of mental illness so her just getting into university is a big accomplishment and I support her we would regularly argue about the amount of work she puts into the house I work 40 hours a week and she would be a full-time at university at first it was whoever had cooked didn't have to clean the kitchen then she stopped cleaning the kitchen after I would cook so I now clean the kitchen even after she makes herself lunch while I'm at work then she stopped cooking dinner entirely so now I also do all the dinner cooking we would pick up after ourselves in regards to living area she had stopped doing that so I now come home and pick up after her I would handle dusting vacuuming the living area and she would handle the bathroom she stopped cleaning the bathroom and I'm sure you get the idea by now it all came to a head in an extremely large fight two months ago where I told her things need to change as I am literally doing all the housework and working 40 hours a week to provide for us she was apologetic and promised me that it was just because of school and after her finals were over things would change she finished her finals last week all B's I am very proud of her but nothing has changed I'm not even sure what she is doing while I'm at work but I come home everyday to her not having cleaned up after herself in any way and nothing taken care of so here is where I think I'm the a-hole she had a pregnancy scare yesterday after she thought she had missed her period I knew she wasn't because I was apparently keeping a more accurate track of her period than she was but she asked me what I would want to name our hypothetical child and I told her that honestly I don't want to have a child with her as I can't trust her to take care of it oh my god you can't say that she's now saying that I'm an a-hole that I tricked her since kids were on the table when we got married it's cruel to take that away from her look I I forgot that they were married I thought that they were just boyfriend and girlfriend going by this Jesus Christ you are absolutely in a hole for your insensitive intosh delivery you're not in a hole for changing your mind about wanting children or even if you just want to put it off the table for now but you cannot expect to lash out at her like this in a patronizing way and for her not to be upset she should be especially considering the fact that you are aware of her mental illness this is such a slap in the face for her I am sure that being said I don't blame you for feeling differently based on having actually live together independently now and better understanding her habits and behaviors she isn't pulling her weight now and you likely wouldn't especially with a child in the picture you need to work on that together before seriously considering having a child everyone sucks here her mental health issues don't give her a pass for taking him for granted she passed her finals why can't she clean maybe our pee has just snapped from carrying all the weight in this relation Jib what does the wife contributes she went from her parents taking care of her to Opie she is an adult who needs to help run her own home if her mental health was excessive I don't think her parents would have consented to the marriage No Opie's wife is spoiled and needs to grow up she's married it's time she put the work in everyone sucks here she should be doing more around the house for sure especially after promising you it would change but the way you phrased your response to an innocuous question about a baby name is just sir out of left field and off base it was wrong and I worry for myself how much my comment was spite I wasn't raised by the nicest person and I've put a lot of effort into distancing myself from that kind of behavior have you actually had a real talk about why she isn't doing anything like an honest talk it sounds like she's overwhelmed to me and when she slacks you just pick up the slack and let it fester she may be suffering from depression or anxiety she may be lazy who knows but it's a conversation you need to have in a calm and loving way so you can both have a happy life together or not don't let things fester into resentments it never turns out well I'm not sure what an honest talk even is anymore but I've spoken to her about it every single time that I end up picking up more slack I actually would leave things for days reminding her to just do the one thing she wouldn't do the one thing and she'd apologize and cry and insist the thing will be done tomorrow but eventually with everything I would cave because there's not exactly a decent alternative clothes need to be washed trash needs to go out etc she is depressed and anxious I don't believe she's lazy though she's managed B's in a pretty competitive University she says she's biking on doing chores in her weekly therapy sessions but she's been working on doing chores for over a year now and all that's happened is it's gotten worse maybe I'm enabling her or something but it's not like I have a choice I guess say what you will with this new advice and new information that we've been given by the European that kind of sucks I don't know what I would do in his situation and I don't think it's on to comments on their personal lives I don't know the full story but if you guys have experience with this I'd love to know what you guys think posted by user mover music titles am I the a-hole for saying this is why I married rich so my in-laws haven't liked me much since my significant other and I got together two ish years ago first it was because I was heavily tattooed and a loud mouth then it was because I don't do traditional wife things like cook and clean for my husband and getting a helper honestly their reasons have been archaic but I got over it and made sure not to interact with them too much but still remain respectful when we first met my significant other bought me an iPhone 8 plus his family threw a fit because how can you be spending so much money on a woman you just met you're wasteful and sinner are they believed I was after his money and nothing I did changed that it continued like this with pretty much anything he got me from a car to a lollipop it was a problem I feel like there's a big chunk between those two but we're gonna leave that there just the other day significant other got me the iPhone X I pro max because I've been wanting it for a minute I had previously ordered one but because of covert there was no stop for the specific color I wanted also because of covert I was okay with not using any other device until I got the color I wanted so I haven't been in touch with family well yesterday significant other surprised me with the phone I wanted in the exact spec I was excited to say the least and obviously went to show it off to anyone who knows me he also posted it on his status with a caption happy wife happy life ayyy that's what I said enter the drama mother-in-law calls him today asking questions about the phone crew boards who paid for it with what money etc I ignored the conversation because it wasn't for me then I'm lying in bed sick with a headache when significant other takes a call from her complaining about how much money he's spending on me and how it's not necessary and why didn't I get my own phone she then asks to speak to me where she asks me if it doesn't embarrass me that I'm just spending such a young guys money and if I wanted a sugar daddy her son wasn't the one I then laughed it off and said well this is exactly why I married rich imagine not accepting all the stuff from your significant other because people will think you're a gold digger I gave significant other back his phone and continued enjoying my brand new iPhone my issue is he chose to get me the phone he can afford the phone and there is really no reason for her to be involved in his finances when he's so old 29 male I will add there he supports his family financially significant other is a little bit grumpy because he says I shouldn't have pranked like that to his mom I'm of the view that it's none of her business and she was going to take issue with something anyway who is the a-hole I don't feel like I am but a few family members are saying I should have been more humble in my approach edits my significant other and I often buy each other large lavish gifts we've been doing this since we first met however his mother just believes I'm spending his money to buy him presents which is not true my significant other takes care of the bills while I take care of running the household admittin this is an agreement we made and D comfortable with his mother is well taken care of financially and has everything she needs I don't work in the sense that I don't have a job but I do contribute to our relationship in a significant way I don't want to say that I am a stay-at-home mom but something along those lines best describes me I also do have my own separate income that goes into our mutual savings accounts because it's not needed at the moment my significant other and I both get allowances from whatever deals we get that are independent of each other so he bought the phone with his money not the combined finances or the money set aside for family / miscellaneous also my significant other and I are married as per our cultural customs I don't know why that's relevance but I'm adding it because a few people mentioned it final edits guys I promise you there's nothing wrong with liking money or even having its I can bet that a lot of you would also want to sit at home and not work so I don't know why I'm being dragged for that I'm really not offended by those who have called me a gold-digger some of your comments have been amazing I obviously appreciate all the not the a-holes and maybe just a little bit the everyone sucks either but I won't be responding to DM sir that's just weird I didn't say I'm a stay-at-home mom because I don't do stay-at-home moms type things I'm more of the real housewife of Beverly Hills kind of homemaker I'm also not a cam girl or SW sex worker law I respect that profession but I'm really lazy as pointed out by many of you sir I wouldn't have the discipline to follow it through significant other saw this post and to realize how wrong he was thanks to all of your amazing comments so now he's going to get me acute cell phone covers to make up for the pain he caused I've done a crapload to assist those affected by the current crisis in my country I may be an airhead but I'm definitely not selfish and have done as much as I can and will continue to do so also I'm not Asian not from America and I didn't mean to rub my head wealth in the faces of redditors I appreciate all of the feedback but still not apologizing to my mother-in-law that was a lot to read and I don't blame you if you zoned out everyone sucks yeah your in-laws for caring about how their adult son spends his money your significant other for handing you the phone when he could have just de-escalated the situation and you for saying probably the worst possible thing you could have said in that specific situation eta not directly related to your post but it's weird to be bragging to people you know about a very expensive gift during a time in which lots of people are struggling financially it's in pretty poor taste even if you're not intending it that way RP says she doesn't do traditional wife stuff like cook then she says she runs house admin but isn't exactly a stay-at-home mom I'm so confused what do you do all day European she mentioned in another comment that she does contract negotiation for her partner's work which i think is super awesome it's contributing together in a somewhat non-traditional way no judgement for me on the household setup if everyone's on board I just think the bragging about expensive goods is a little gross everyone sucks here your husband and you can spend your money any which way you like provided you're doing nothing illegal with it your mother-in-law should mind her own business in any events but especially if I'm reading me right in that her son also financially supports her he shouldn't have handed you the phone during his conversation with his mother knowing she was going to give you crap for something she had no right to be giving crap about you said well this is exactly why I married rich imagine not accepting all the stuff from your significant other because people will think you're a gold digger which to be frank makes no sense at all within the context of your story yet you seem to take a lot of pride in it as if it was some sort of brilliant clap back it's at the very best confusing you also just kind of sound like an a-hole I feel like maybe you know this and are okay with it in which case more power to you but the family members who are saying you should be more humble not sure why that's in single quotes maybe on to something - well I don't know if I have too much of an opinion on this one duh I think everything that needed to be said did get said in this one and I think that's what I'm gonna leave it am I the a-hole for keeping a lost pet until the owner paid the advertised reward this weekend I was walking through the park and I saw a cat that looked like one I'd seen on posters that were posted around the neighborhood they said there was a reward of $500 for finding their lost cats sir I caught the cats which was pretty easy since he was friendly and checked the poster to see if it was him and it was I went home put him in the back porch and called the number on the poster to let them know I found their cats they were happy that I found him and said they could come pick him up right away I confirmed that there was a $500 reward texted the guy a picture of the cats and gave him my address this is where the problem started when he got to my house I asked for the reward money before returning the cat he said that there actually isn't a reward and that he only advertised one to increase the chance that people would look for his cat I told him that I wasn't going to give his cat back until he paid the promised reward and that he shouldn't have posted one if he didn't want to pay one he then got angry and threatened to call the cops if I wouldn't give him the cat I said that he was welcome to and that I would be happy to get things on the record in case I had to take him to the small-claims courts Hiba grudgingly told me that he would be back later with the money later that nights he came by with the full five hundred dollars I gave him his catch and that was the end of it when I told my girlfriend about it she thought I should have just gave him the cat back since it cost me nothing to catch him and that everyone was having hard times right now some of my friends also think that the guy was probably desperate to get his pet back and that it was kind of crappy of me to profit from a lost animal I still think that if he post a reward you should pay it and that the guy probably just wanted to save five hundred dollars and get the benefit of advertising her award without paying it so am I the a-hole everyone sucks here it was cruel of you to hold the cat hostage but he shouldn't have advertised the reward if he wasn't willing to pay for its return agreed this probably wouldn't happen but what if a compromise was made maybe not the full 500 but a bit of cash definitely oh yes the old Craigslist you know this is what I bought and I'm here so pay me or your time was wasted kind of Acts I was thinking that exact thing hey nice to see you in this target parking lot I don't actually have the $800 we agreed to for your bike but I do have $40.00 in my pockets and a kid who has every type of cancer and this might be his last birthday No well screw you and your children and your children's children everyone sucks here he is an a-hole for lying about the reward you are they much bigger a-hole here without a shadow of a doubt he literally held that poor cat hostage from the owner in order to get $500 how disgustingly misguided is your moral compass way to try and make money off someone's misfortune time give him the cats and tell him he's a prick for lying end of story yep we all need a reminder that this is mi the a-hole not am i legally entitled even if I he is certainly the right for respecting award holding the cat hostage isn't a whole move still the cat owner is also an a-hole for offering a fake reward imagine if the title had been a my the a whole for not giving the reward to the person who found the cats don't disagree most but judgments say everyone sucks here because of that the owner is a clear-cut a whole although some would say less than the European Oh Matt er what some people will defend Opie because he was entitled to that cash but once you take that step you yourself are also crossing a moral and possible legal lion what the Freak how morally bankrupt do you have to be to hold another person's pet hostage until they give you money just because you happen to be the one who found a friendly cat walking on the streets you're like the definition of lawful evil this is the most reluctant everyone sucks here I've ever forgiven because the cat owner was absolutely in the wrong for advertising a reward they did not intend to pay what they did was crappy thankfully you found a screwed-up way to outdo them I want to make my own post here but I have nothing to say that you haven't said already with pinpoint accuracy Bravo to you to the RP reluctant as hell everyone sucks here is the correct judgement eel the cat owner is your buddy who's always hitting you up for five bucks and promising to pay you back with no intention of ever doing so you however appear to have been born with a giant sucking black hole where your compassion should be the rules of this sub forbid me from adequately expressing my opinion of you and your behavior so we'll just leave it there you know I think I agree I think everyone sucks here in this one just because you are entitled to the money I guess we don't know what that guy is coming from we don't know what's happening in his life you know he could he could be getting evicted from his house after all this happens I don't know it's just like Kanye said having money's not everything not having it is so this is a really hard one anyway pursued by user full loan titled am I the a-hole for being pissed at my parents for taking us to Athens Georgia instead of Athens Greece I'm 17 female always wanted to go to Greece I loved Greece so much to the point where I taught myself how to speak Greek both standard and Cypriots and I can read ancient Greek I've read The Iliad Odyssey and many other of Homer's books in ancient Greek and they watch TV sports movies and play video games in Greek and they got online Greek friends who I do it with in Greek I've got great friends in Athens Thessaloniki and Larnaca that I want to meet served that's why I was so excited when my parents said they would take us on a family vacation to Athens this would be the first time I would leave the country and go on a plane this happened during an amazing party but if it was during the only time we could go to Greece I would do it my friends understood I made a plan of everything I wanted to see in Greece Meteora Olympiakos stadium the Acropolis glocca among other things all over Athens and if we had time perhaps Thessaloniki Sparta or some other cities I also made it a priority to go check out universities in Greece as that's where I want to go I showed my parents this and they were like yeah sure you can do that we don't care trip is in February we fly to Atlanta I assumed it was a layover we land and my parents said we need to go to get the hotel and need a rental car weird but whatever wasn't paying attention well we drive for an hour Rosser and I fall asleep in the car and then we get to Athens Georgia and to my parents saying hey we're here wake up sleepyhead and I see a sign that says welcome to Athens Georgia my sister starts laughing her ass off and my dad starts giggling I asked them if this was a jerk and they said no we're going on a vacation to Athens Georgia to my dad's friends lake house I have never been more angry in my entire life we were at a gas station and I argued with my parents they told me I was a disrespectful brats and that I should be thankful that they're taking us on a vacation they said they can't afford to take me to Europe and this is the best thing they could do I told them they're pieces of crap because I missed my friend's birthday party for this boring-ass trip in the middle of nowhere in Georgia and this was like some screwed up joke that everyone knew about but me my parents of course keep screaming at me that I'm a disrespectful brats and I told them to go screw themselves and I elbowed the car window in my rage several times breaking it but cutting myself I ran on a bus going to Atlanta parents are telling me to come back I told them to freak off and I called my friend who used to go to my school but goes to University in Atlanta he picked me up and I've been at his place with his girlfriend since school got cancelled in Missouri not soon after my parents went from being furious to being worried and to begging for me to come back I told them to screw off once again you know what's not the a-hole yes I know ungrateful love of Greece is a phase overreacting like a teenage girl blahblah teenager stuff but there's something especially cruel about watching someone gets super excited about something and then Toyo during them I agree this isn't a funny my daughter wanted an iPad haha pics of menstrual pad taped or regular tablets my parents told me the new car was in the driveway picture of tiny toy car the toilet smoking tick-tock jerk in which the excitement and fear momentum barely had any buildup this was a long con actively lying trust shattering simply because of how much Opie loves it joke a lot of people are bashing her for being an overly emotional teen but replaced Greece with Disneyland in world and a lot of people would be on Opie's side a cute and funny way to have done what they did would have been to tell her they were going to a lake house and then once they got there say honey we know how much you love Greece but we could never afford a trip there so we got as close as possible and then you point to the Athens Georgia sign that is parenting done rights yeah I can't believe how long they stretch this out this wasn't a fake giving a terrible gift than bringing back the real one or whatever this was months not the a-hole as a general rule of thumb if a joke or a prank is going to hurt someone it's not very funny it might have been funny if they told you right away as in when they first told you about the trip happening at all and you had been able to be in on the joke but letting you and your friends plan and spend money knowing that they were going to pull a gotcha is pretty nasty you did overreact I think but your family were the ones in the wrong here I don't think you're being entitled you didn't quote/unquote expect a trip to Greece until they told you and implied that they were giving you one and then they continued to play the charade I'm not so sure Opie overreacted here this is a level of malice and forethought that is terrifying or of ineptitude that's mind-boggling how would you look at those people again here are people who rather than nurture and build up their daughter rather than encourage her dreams and do what they could to support her decided to instead crusher because it was funny she smashed the window of the rental car that's pretty out of line and stupid she could have gotten seriously injured everything else she was justified abouts but this part went over the line as wrote in another comment this wasn't controllable emotion this was white-hot rage at the magnitude of the betrayal she had just suffered paying for a new window is a tiny fraction of what should happen to these parents violence is never the answer but I find it hard to fault Opie too much given what had just happens yeah I don't think I can fault her for breaking the rental window I'm pretty sure people would do worse than that's given like you know different tempers that people do have I'm surprised that all she did was break a window so good on her for that I personally think the parents suck you can't just pull a bait-and-switch like that that's disgusting anyway that's Marquis heartache next story posted by user T way three four two three four two three titled am i the a-hole secretly setting up a camera beside our family fridge info I live with my two parents and my older sister 21 female sir I 19 male bought a box of a dozen ice cream sandwiches this past Thursday and somehow it's gotten down to one left in the span of four days Sunday it was all gone I was livid because I did buy it to share with my family but I at least wanted more than one I literally hadn't even had one and my family decided to leave only one for me I asked how this was possible my mom said she ate one my dad said he had ate one and my sister said she only had three I asked what the [ __ ] happened to the rest of the seven sandwiches and no one would say anything I was 100% sure my sister was lying and that she probably ain't ten but was too embarrassed to say it I kept telling my sister to just tell the truth and she accused me of calling her fat my parents told me what's done is done and that I just need to let it go I asked my parents if I could catch her lying if they would punish her they said they would but there was no point because I had no proof my dad had a small security camera that fit perfectly in one of the shelves beside the fridge so I stuck it in there downloaded the app for the cam on my phone and set it to motion detection I bought another box of ice cream sandwiches and hid it in the bottom of the freezer without telling my family today I had video proof of my sister sneaking in the freezer throughout the day taking five fudging sandwiches from the freezer I got my family together and to ask them who ate five in just one day my parents said they had zero my sister said I had one but of course you're going to accuse me of having more I whipped out the recording of the fridge and showed my parents I had video evidence of her taking five sandwiches from the freezer my parents then got mad at me and said that it was creepy that I would do this without their consent and my sister got off scot-free while also calling me a pervert my family is now saying that you're going to come up with a punishment for trying to catch the damn thief of my ice cream sandwiches the camera literally only recorded the fridge and nothing else I don't understand was what I did really that bad am i the a-hole hmm can someone say enable apparent SIA Jesus Christ not the a-hole five in one day crosses a line of a holler II to make your rather let's say butthole behavior easily significantly less importance not the a-hole it's far easier for the parents to confront what he did rather than tackle his sister's unhealthy eating habits I personally would buy a mini fridge freezer with a padlock if it's a serious habit that the food gets stolen as constantly rebind adds up over time so it would be a sound investment otherwise RP needs to have a serious discussion with them about his sister's eating habits and how it's affecting his life he do think he should apologize for setting up the camera with our permission in their house but he should stress it was done out of concern for his personal security as well as their lack of willingness to take control over a sister's eating habits I agree with all except Opie's parents said if Opie could find evidence they would punish his sister hope he technically had permission even if it's through a loophole it's like saying tell the truth and we're not gonna hit you ahaha [ __ ] you thought you thought pulls the wooden spoon out Gideon ow wow what is lockdown coming to but still not the a-hole your sister is lying about how much of your food she is eating and that's unfair on you I agree not the a-hole but also good god you're spot on quarantine has given this subreddit so many posts where people are at each other's throats from a serious case of cabin fever not the a-hole why on earth would he be the a halt for being stolen from everyone who records someone stealing is an a-hole what the hell you would calm resourceful and handled it while your parents blew it off they are probably embarrassed you did what they should have done everyone sucks here her for eating them all and lying your parents were basically encouraging you to get proof and then getting mad at you when you had proof and for recording people with that their knowledge which is indeed creepy how would he otherwise get proof if he told someone he was setting it up and that person was the thief then it would blow it I disagree it would result in one of two circumstances one the person would disable the camera which points a massive finger at opiez sister or two people would stop taking an inordinate amount of ice cream sandwiches seems like a win-win to me also if you really want to be sneaky you could set up a decoy camera say that you have a camera pointed at the fridge and put the decoy in plain sight you could catch a culprit in the act of disabling the camera and hoarding sandwiches I like that one posted by user through RA titles am I the a-hole for laughing when my family told me bad news about my sister sir I'm a thirty year old male and my sister is 19 female and she's always been the golden child in my dad science my parents adopted me thinking that they wouldn't have biological children they split when I was 10 and my father went on to have my sister I'll give her this she was very intelligent basically straight A's based on my dad's bragging well my dad expected her to be a doctor or something like that very high expectations my dad for the past year has been paying her rent while she goes to college even though she works I called my dad yesterday when he let me know how disappointed he wasn't my sister turns out she's pregnant and has no immediate plans on continuing with her education cherry on top the father of the baby is only three years younger than me I'm not happy about my sister's situation I do not approve of her relationship well I laughed when I found out because the pressure my father has put on her for the last 19 years cheerleading track countless diets to keep her skinny making her give up her dream of being Yvette's finally made her crap I mean crack and I find it hilarious that he doesn't see he did it to her and he thinks he has the right to say he's disappointed my father however took this as me laughing at my sister but when I explained her I'm laughing at him it made things so much worse my stepmother has been texting me non-stop about how I hurt my father how he just wanted to vent and his family I should support and respect him and even if I didn't it was just genuinely a dickish move to laugh miv a whole throw away since I used my normal account frequently I will be reaching out to my sister not the a-hole but reach out to your sister if she needs to talk she might be escaping your a-hole dad just to an a-hole boyfriend's came here to say this a lot of women who come from extremely controlling male-dominated homes end up with extremely controlling male-dominated relationships I've seen it happen all the men latched on to these young women and keep them pregnant and dependent on them maybe he's a great guy but it definitely check it out not the a hall not the a-hole while you might have been normally it sounds like he was controlling to the extremes of your sister he deserves this ridicule everyone sucks here she's not a golden child she has been emotionally abused her entire life it's not a laughing matter he specifically said he wasn't laughing about her laughed at the dead for causing emotional abuse not a laughing matter laughing at the dad for being disappointed when he did this to her that's not laughing at at the emotional abuse I see it as laughing at him for having the balls to be disappointed when it's his faults the point is that nothing about the situation is really funny it's not funny haha but it's dark ironic humor that elicits the dark laugh these people don't understand the ironic humor or any form of dark humor it's safe zones 24/7 for these people or controversial opinions read it always coming out I wonder how much he got down voted for that one bloody ell everyone sucks here except your sister your dad sounds like he controlled and pressured your sister to the breaking points you're the a-hole for laughing but to be fair I'd probably do the same thing but seriously though they should probably call your sister and uh really hot take care for the negative 425 hope he needs to grow up I don't know that's an interesting opinion posted by user rest in c-cups titled mi the a-hole for saying r.i.p when a girl in the group chat said she was getting a breast reduction I am in a group chat with some of my classmates including a girl with a really really big badonkadonk she never really talked about them being annoying she posted on the group chat I'm getting a breast reduction I'm so excited say bye-bye to the twins I said r.i.p and posted a picture of a gravestone it was intended as a light-hearted joke since that's the turn of the group chat people got upset at me and basically accused me of being insensitive and sexist saying I'm implying that the only thing that matters is her boobs in my opinion it was just a silly joke and fit the tone of her message am i the a-hole you're the a-hole she's excited about getting the reduction how does your joke fit the tone of what she was saying you should have just said congrats or something normal you're the a-hole she could be very insecure about them and it might have hit a nerve Lord the first thing that crossed my mind was the poor girl thinking she may died during the surgery never ever post r.i.p when someone says that they're having a medical procedure so yes I concur he is the a-hole I was gonna say not an a-hole until I saw this good points I didn't consider that not the a-hole she made it a light-hearted by saying say bye-bye to the twins I guess you read the room wrong but it does honestly sound like a jerk did she personally get mad at you or is it just the other people who were saying that you're the a-hole if you did upset her apologize for being insensitive and moved on yeah I was ready to call him the a-hole based on the title but it really sounds like she set up the jerk intentionally it sounded like she's excited for this life-changing surgery and it sounds like Opie is mourning the loss of aesthetic the joke is in poor taste say bye-bye to the twins our IP she set up the joke the gravestone pic was too much but not the a whole not the a-hole necessarily but still not the brightest but that's bad on my part I wasn't really trying to pass judgments merely giving a point of view as to why she may be upset lightly you're the a-hole associating death with surgery not exactly encouraging if she's getting a reduction they are definitely causing some kind of issue probably neck and back pain restricting her life in some way etc did you mean it as a jerk yep Serb just apologizing move on it is only a jerk if the person it is about finds it funny not the a-hole you made a joke that didn't land it happens posted by user Thoreau RA 1781 titled am I the a-hole for taking the children to see my mother on Mother's Day so this happened in March but my wife is still upset about it I have three children with my wife six four and four months we bottle feed the youngest come mother's day my wife is exhausted I cooked breakfast with my youngest helping while our four-year-old did some art work for her when my wife went for a nap I thought I'd take the children out my eldest decided to take a nap with her mother though sorry it was just the two youngest we spent maybe three hours with my mother and an hour traveling when I got back I cooked dinner and I thought everything was okay my wife claims I ruined her Mother's Day I don't see how since we didn't have plans and she was asleep for at least an hour she's still insisting that I'm the a halt for taking the children out am I the a-hole you're the a-hole I thought it was fine because we didn't have plans yeah men that's the problem why the hell didn't you make plans for Mother's Day brutally honest and on points you're the a-hole everything your wife mother to your children would want to spend Mother's Day with her family sir had no plans were you expecting her to make plans for her on Mother's Day definitely you're the a-hole but also asked because if it were an option having the day off from the unholy brood would be amazing for some moms still your the a all because of the not asking and doing what she wanted on her day you're the a-hole honestly didn't it occur to you that she might want to spend the day with her family you decided to give your mother a nice Mother's Day instead of your wife did you even ask her what she wanted for Mother's Day yeah I see what you're saying but she went to sleep taking a potentially crying newborn out of the house and letting her sleep might have been the best gift he could give her during the quarantine lack of communication did not help the situation clearly ie what do you want to do today assuming they can do anything because of the lockdown or do you care if I take the kids to my mom's while you sleep except she took an hour nap and he was gone for four hours no just no well that's enough what do you guys think I think yeah he's the a-hole for doing that I think mainly just in the communication aspect happy wife happy life got to keep up the communication with them the communications everything I think it was just a misstep they're probably just tired parents he wasn't thinking he was thinking yo I'm gonna get the kids out of the house she's gonna have some peace and quiets but mother's day was not the day to do it and not telling her posted by user headache brewing aren't we all titled am i the a-hole for telling my stepdaughter she's absolutely under no circumstances allowed to switch out my cats food for vegan food even though she's losing weights because the sight of normal cat food makes her sick sorry for the appalling title my stepdaughter is living with my husband and I for the next year she is an educated young professional who's saving up to buy her own home since she's moved in with us in the past three months she's become increasingly snappy and unhappy with how her dad and I run our lives we aren't environmentally conscious enough because we don't compost our waste we are negligent because we leave lights on when we leave our home for security reasons we should switch to electric cars we are contributing to the inhumane treatment of cows by consuming dairy the list is endless so my cat manga is getting to be an old-ass man and he has lived a full life of eating whatever the hell he likes obviously with him what's safe for cats and he's happy that way my stepdaughter is now insisting that she will purchase vegan cat food because seeing mango eat meats makes her sick Wow oh come on a cat eating meets brother we feed him in the kitchen and she will literally throw up slash wrench slash leave the kitchen if she sees him eat meat she'd probably have an aneurysm if she ever visited Africa that's for sure she has lost a lot of weight since claiming that seeing mango eats meat makes her sick and we leave out dry biscuits for him to snack on which also makes her sick it's not like we leave a mess out but even if she smells his food in the a.m. which is gross yeah but the doors are open and that's just life if he have a pet she will heave and walk away her dad and I both told her if she's unhappy with it she needs to find someplace else to live and order it we are genuinely sorry that she has lost her appetite and has lost weights we aren't going to change mangoes lifestyle she is yelled casted us cried begged etc but we are not happy with mango eating a vegan diets we don't feed him cheap crap either we feed him good quality cat food that isn't processed or full of sugar or grain it's pretty much gourmet Gordon Ramsay worthy cat food my mother-in-law has waited in after my stepdaughter told her we were being unfair by refusing to let mango go on her preferred diet for him and is accusing us of being cruel and short-sighted she said we are letting her get sick and that mangu won't hurt from a change in diets but stepdaughter is hurting am I the a hole not the a hole veterinary nurse er as explained above cats are obligate carnivores they absolutely need the taurine that only meat can provide cats can't thrive on a vegan diets my mom is a pretty hardcore vegan and still feeds all her pets a species-appropriate diet because she is aware that that's what they need to be the healthiest they can be just reading this makes me sick of the girl poor cat if he becomes a vegan not the a-hole I'll be honest it almost sounds like such a caricature of a vegan that it doesn't come across as real but giving the benefit of the doubt just bur I hate everything not the a-hole cats are obligate carnivores and will sicken and die without meats I love animals so much that I'll force one to starve to death so I don't have to watch it eat meats people who feed cats a vegan diet say this kind of stuff not the a-hole pets can and have died when the irresponsible owners forced their dietary beliefs on them cats are not made to be vegan she's being unreasonable plus it's your house she shouldn't be making all these demands on you at all right people who try to force vegan diet on coniferous animals are delusional and dangerous and obviously I couldn't find a response that went any other way than not the a-hole here I think that that's the dangerous thing to force upon animals and it has been shunned by society so good stuff am I the a-hole for telling my boyfriend to go F himself for telling me to drink my coffee in a particular way under his roof I take a long time to drink my coffee and as a result sometimes it gets cold before I finish it I don't mind cold coffee so I drink it anyway my boyfriend thinks this is disgusting he doesn't like coffee anyway he told me that he doesn't want me to drink coffee that way because it disgusts him I told him that it's me who's drinking it why should he care he insisted that it's disgusting and if I don't want you to drink a cup of coffee around the house than you don't and the good old my house my rules he compared it to him not wanting guests to smoke in his house or taking off shoes at the door however I told him that those examples are not comparable because secondhand smoke is still harmful and wearing dirty shoes in the house makes the floor dirty for everyone else's feet how I drink a cup of coffee does neither I lost my cool and told him to go F himself for being controlling am I the a-hole updates I showed in the comments and he conveniently came up with the excuse I am sorry you found it as a controlling act I said that because not being used to coffee I can smell its odor so I don't want the odor to spread around the house I've told him that it's not a matter of me seeing it that way he is being controlling and it's unacceptable he keeps asking me to explain why even though I feel like I have about a million times I said that I've explained enough and I'm not interested in talking until he takes responsibility is this real life I swear the world is going insane a day at a time not the a-hole I wish this would just fantasy not to the a-hole it's likely caught in a landslide not the a hole not the a hole has he ever heard of iced coffee why are you living with him I don't even live with him were in a long-distance relationship and this is when I stayed with him in his parents house over two weeks he's showing you hims true self believe him ding ding ding we have a winner nicely put for red flags here he dropped these trying to control how you drink your coffee is a huge red flag definitely don't give in but it'll only get worse from here what you can and can't eat what you can and can't wear who you can and can't see etc not the a-hole nice assist sprayer that didn't happen and if it did it wasn't that bad and if it was that's not a big deal and if it is it's not my fault and if it was I didn't mean it and if I did you deserved it red flag I'm sorry you found it as a controlling axe Oh Lord I've been watching too much RuPaul's Drag Race update am I the a-hole for telling my boyfriend to go eff himself for telling me how to drink my coffee onto his roof sir someone posted my boyfriend's social media page as a comment now deleted in the original post unfortunately my boyfriend still received some nasty messages which was never meant to happen regardless of who was at fault if you were the person who did this you are the a whole big time why on earth would you do that what if I was in a dangerously abusive relationship that could have put my life in danger my boyfriend even though I showed him the original post while there were six comments blamed me for this person's behavior and accused meal of allowing cyberbullying he also did not agree with any of the comments I told him I understand why he's upset and that I am upset too because truly believed that was completely anonymous and I did all I could to remove the comment as soon as I saw it he did not agree with any of the comments and said that I am the one who is controlling he also said that what I did is unforgivable as well as irresponsible and reckless I said I needed to be alone to think about things after I thought about everything that happened I asked him if we could talk the next day despite what happens I felt like it would be the decent thing to talk on the phone I feel he responded pretty aggressively saying things like I am ready now don't know about tomorrow he told me to write it down as I preferred to have a mob go at him to text him tomorrow to check when he's available and that he's not at my disposal I told him to please stop being aggressive it's unreasonable to expect me to guess when he's available and that the point of asking when he's available is to appreciate he may have other things to do the next day I sent him a voice recording because I felt that he would turn aggressive on the phone I told him that I think that we are on different paths and it would be best to end this relationship apparently by that point he'd already decided to end the relationship but then said later that he was willing to give me a second chance and that his love was stronger he said that he made grave mistakes and that he feels sorry but he doesn't want to be with someone who doesn't let him be himself okay I hope that gives him the closure he needs then I had a cup of coffee edits sorry if it was unclear what I meant to say is that I broke up with him and then I enjoyed my cup of coffee in peace good job ok I'm proud of you my wife leaves her coffee until it's turned cold I call her weird in a joking way then I get the hell on with my life because her drinking coffee cold doesn't impact my life in the slightest for real our pees ex-boyfriend is a fudging crybaby yeah like if I went out of my way to change every little thing my wife does well I'd be a bloody [ __ ] but also really unflagging happy our pees boyfriend is gonna be fudging miserable if he fixates on crap like that despite all of the social media harassment breaking with him is the best possible outcome it baffles me how he was unable to see that he was clearly in the wrong but still you can drink as much coffee as you want now as a friend of mine likes to say I can explain it to you but I cannot understand it for you I'm referring to the boyfriend in this case not you just so we're clear that was what I was thinking when she said he claimed to not understand her explanations of his controlling behavior I prefer to say you cannot force anyone to do anything which includes being ready to see another point of view oh that's deep seeing this post I feel Opie's ex is the typical guy who thinks he can brute-force anything through his relationship and if it doesn't work he'll try to rope them back in but whatever they say after facing consequences they already showed you how they act when they feel safe yikes how did someone know his social media was it someone you know or were there somehow identifying details that you edited out by now Congrats on leaving his lame ass though nope I never edited out any details no personal identifiable information I showed him what I wrote when there were only six comments and he didn't seem to have a problem with what I wrote until it got unexpected attention $50 says he posted it himself oh yeah definitely Marky ain't saying anything but you know where there's smoke there's fire that saw him saying sheep that's all I'm saying would I be the a-hole if I took action about my husband's snoring bye noms for all aye 36 female and getting both concerned and fed up with my husband's snoring we've been married for a few years but the consistent snoring has only started over the past six months or so before then usually he would only snore if he was out drinking with his buddies all night fast-forward to now and I'm waking up about 10 times a night I've mentioned the more frequent snoring to him a few times but of course since he's not experiencing it while he's awake he just shrugs it off he's gained a bit of weight over the past three years maybe 30 to 40 pounds and I'm wondering if that's what triggered the snoring of course there's not real good way for me to bring that up as a potential cause without seeing like a little bit of an a-hole and I know there might be other causes I absolutely love my husband to bits but I am a very grumpy person when I don't get sleep would I be the a-hole if I insisted that he visited doctor about his snoring or say that we will have separate sleeping arrangements until he does so edits thank you for all the kind responses in suggestions I see I'm not the only one literally and metaphorically losing sleep over snoring I hadn't really thought about sleep apnea being a possibility for him but I have been concerned there is an underlying medical issue I'll be looking more into substantial pillars and making sure there's not some allergen that could be irritating his system in our room I'm also going to have a discussion with him and be clear that I'm coming from a place of love and concern since I know he doesn't love going to the clinic all offered to go to the doctor with him so we can see if he needs a sleep study we do have a spare bedroom so if I need to escape in there periodically I will not the a-hole do it from a place of love he might have developed sleep apnea which is a serious concern on its own even without that possibility you wouldn't be the a-hole you can't function without sleep and constantly losing sleep will have all kinds of effects on your health thank you for the information if he does have it I'd certainly want to make sure he's getting treatment sooner than later not the a-hole I'm going through a similar thing my partner can't control the snoring so we got nasal strips and neti pots to help clear out their nose and better pillows it's actually helped immensely and was cheap enough to try all of that first before jumping to going to the doctor's thanks for these suggestions I'm going to do a deep cleaning in the room to be sure there aren't any potential allergens I'm not sure if he'd be willing to use a neti pot or nasal strips but I'll make the suggestion when I talk to him not the a-hole it may be his weight if it just started I'm a snorer and we sleep in separate rooms partly for snoring and partly we have little kids who like to cuddle and we don't have a giant bed so we split up why don't you just express how disturbing it is to you record him I didn't know how bad it was until I heard it and then suggest a sleep study don't mention his weight in your concern for him sudden snoring could actually be a real health issue and it's something he should explore or you can go to the separate rooms routes and sleep peacefully that way I thought about recording him and I may end up doing that if he's hesitant to go about seeing a doctor I have been concerned that the somewhat sudden change in snoring could signal a more serious problem so this and reinforces the need to get him to a medical professional I may also retreat to the guest room on a bad night in the meantime update would I be the a-hole if I took action about my husband snoring my previous would I be the a-hole posting was pretty quiet but I appreciated everyone who took the time to respond I'm providing an update in hopes that maybe our experience will help Internet strangers also dealing with this based on the am I the a-hole feedback I sat down with my husband to share my concerns about the sudden onset of his excessive snoring I said I thought he may have developed sleep apnea which could be serious I encouraged him to go see a doctor stating that I would be willing to go with him I also said I would go to the guest room if I was unable to sleep due to the snoring after this conversation nothing really changed and it made me very frustrated there were a few times when I retreated to the guest room to try to sleep the first time I didn't lock the door and he came into the room immediately fell back asleep and snoring right in my face I was ticked and made it clear that if I was in the guest room sleeping it was because he was snoring and he was not to come in this pattern went on for a bit before everything blow up mid-april I asked him if he wanted to come for a walk with me and he said he would just a few minutes into the walk he said I was walking too fast and taking it too seriously I told him if he didn't want to walk he should just go home he did and I finished my walk fuming when I got home I said we needed to talk I told him first and foremost that I loved him to bits but I was not going to sugarcoat what I needed to say I reminded him that he used to be so active as we used to hike and run together now he had gone from being a healthy weight to overweight to obese I reminded him of the earlier conversation about sleep apnea and asked if he had looked into the causes of the condition he said he hadn't and I said that while not all cases have the same cause many times sudden snoring can be the result of weight gain or serious problems I almost cried at this point saying I was really worried about the long-term impact on his health if things didn't change I entered the conversation by saying that I realized that the beginning of a pandemic is a bad time to try to get healthy he had listened quietly the whole time before responding or is it he thanked me for my honesty and acknowledged that he hadn't taken any of this seriously but that he wanted to although he didn't go to see a doctor he has been working out into eating well since that conversation yesterday he shared that he was down 15 pounds and his goal is to lose 20 more by the end of the summer his snoring has pretty much stopped and we are both sleeping better it wasn't easy to have those talks but I'm thrilled that he took the initiative to take care of himself and I no longer have to worry about sleeping in the spare room what an amazing outcome it's so fantastic to read that he is becoming healthier even with the lockdown and the fact that the snoring has all but stopped is amazing for him and you I know I really thought that not being able to go to the gym would be an excuse but he has been on the treadmill and lifting weights at home he's a great partner and I'm so glad that this isn't causing conflict anymore people don't take weight caused sleep apnea serious enough he could die in his sleep I'm glad he's cutting the weights and is getting better it absolutely destroyed my uncle he had a small number of strokes in his 50s that his doctors attribute to severe untreated apnea and is barely able to care for himself due to these psychological side effects he's physically able bodied but he can't work can't drive and is difficult to hold a reasonable conversation with it's really awful posted by user spicy as a baguette titled mi da hole for not letting my sister's see her kids I 28 female obtained custody of my sister's 35 female kids nine male for female to female back in 2018 after she let them alone for two weeks to go on a trip red drug bender of course this was a huge transition for the kiddos they had to be moved schools and daycares and of course they couldn't see their mom anymore now the kids are doing better and definitely lead happier lives recently though my sister was released from prison and wants to see the kids again she called me begging me to have a visit with them and telling me that I could give them back because she was out of prison now I had a talk with a 9 year old and he says that he doesn't want to see his mom yet and that he still hates her for leaving him alone the girls have no memories of her and the smallest one was only three months old the last time she saw her I do feel like I could have helped them foster a better relationship with her but I don't want to force the oldest into meeting her but he absolutely doesn't want to still my close family has told me that the oldest doesn't know what he's talking about and it's my fault the little ones don't remember their mother because I didn't take them to see her when she was in prison they also told me that it's my responsibility to force them to meet her even when they don't want to because that's what's best for them and they shouldn't grow up without their mother so am I the a-hole and it's I have spoken to a professional about this specifically the oldest's therapist they have advised that it should be up to him and I just want to know if I'm being a jerk to my sister also I have adopted the kids and have complete full custody of all of them not the a-hole I'm not a child psychologist but despite what your mother said it's possible that it could actually be bad for them to see their buyer mom your sister but you are definitely not an a-hole not the a-hole I am a therapist who has worked with kids in CPS families reunification and permanent foster placements slash adoption please listen to the oldest's there appear and your nephew he trusts you to keep him safe after all he has been through if you go against his wishes this could cause him and his sister irreparable harm your family is invested in maintaining a family units not making sure that these kids have the best care if there is any entitlement from the mum then she is not ready for a visit or anything if she is truly ready to make amends then she will wait for him to be ready and everyone's trust etc if she isn't ready to do the work or acknowledge the impact of her actions then no dice please protect them even if it means going against the rest of the family's wishes not the a-hole at all our peas job as a mother is to protect those children protecting their son means doing what's best for him and respecting his boundaries the previous mother is suffering the consequences of her actions not appease her B you are a wonderful person I have a toddler and an infant and if I also had a seven-year-old I'd likely be cray or at least more cray I'm so sorry that you're in this terrible position and so inspired by you what lucky kids those are truly and yes I know I've read that post before but I'm going over it again because there is an update am I the a-hole for not letting my sister see her kids sir I wasn't expecting to make an update post because I honestly wasn't expecting there to be an update to this unfortunately I'm wrong I gave my oldest two weeks to really think about whether he wanted to talk to my sister or not I figured that the decision he made at first might have been out of anger so I wanted to give him time to make such an important decision ultimately he decided that he did actually want to talk to her I have to admit I was a little bit surprised but we set up a zoom call between them anyway of course with me supervising right before the zoom call he admitted to me that he wanted to talk to her just to see if she'll say sorry she did not say sorry actually she opened with hello it's been so long I guess you're ready to come home with me now and then she noticed that I was sitting there with him and almost immediately launched into accusations about a nation and how I have to give the kids back now or she'll call the police and say I kidnapped them my oldest was very obviously disgusted he asked her if she was going to apologize to him and she actually had the audacity to ask what she had to apologize for at that point he just shut off the zoom call I asked him if he was okay but he spent the rest of the afternoon in his room by himself that night he told me that he never wanted to talk to her again ever I told him that never is a long time but that we weren't going to make him talk to her if he didn't want to and we were never ever ever going to give him back to her he told me that never is a long time we told him that in this case it meant never I'm still shocked I don't know what happened to my sister she was my best friend as a kid she was almost my second mother she was sweet and caring and nice I just don't know how that all changed so fast or maybe it didn't change that fast and I just never noticed it until it was too late and I was driving four hours away at midnight to pick up three little kids one of which I didn't even know existed before then before now I honestly never considered myself as their parent even after I legally adopted them more like I was just taking care of them long-term but now I realize that those kids are my kids and they're going to be my kids for the rest of my and hopefully their lives thank you for all your help guys I hope you all have a fantastic life that is the best outlook to have and I wish you all an amazing life together you keep knocking out of the park being their mother I saw that coming as soon as she said my oldest midway through this post I was like oh she said my consciously or not she views them as hers now oh my lord I just noticed I didn't even realize I said that okay I'm gonna cuddle my kiddos and cry now I'll be back in a bit smiley face I wondered if you noticed you said that I'm super happy for you and the kids not everyone is so lucky to have someone save them from a bad situation wishing you all nothing but a bright shining future together pursued by user King Sigma titled would I be the a-hole for asking adults to pay for themselves at my daughter's birthday party time-sensitive my daughter was born in December she has always been envious of kids who get to have summer beach slash pool parties and this year I decided that I was going to make her wish come true I found a Swim School with an indoor pool that hosts birthday parties the package for up to twenty kids in the pool was four hundred and seventy five dollars or so I thought I added six pizzas to that so we are at five hundred and thirty five dollars at a cake party favors decorations etc and I'm looking at around seven hundred dollars for this party yesterday while I was setting up these specifics of the party with the coordinator she mentioned now three days before the party that the twenty kids included in the pool actually applies to everyone in the pool not just kids she said that if any adult goes swimming at the party over that twenty person limit that I paid for there will be a charge of ten dollars per person over the twenty people we have 19 kids coming I came in just under the 20 people so now if ten adults decide that you're going to swim with their kids that's 100 dollars out of my pocket in addition to the $700 I am already spending I didn't sign up for that this party is for the kids I don't mind paying if aren't uncle and grandparents if my daughter wants to swim but I am expected to foot the bill for any random parent that decides they want to take a dip I want to send out a notice to all the parents that responded to my Evite's with some party notes like wear comfortable clothes it will be 90 degrees in the pool area listed among those notes will be something like the Swim School has notified me that adults may swim with their children for an additional cost of $10 per guest I'm not trying to sound cheap here but am I the a-hole if I don't want to pay the extra for adults to swim at my daughter's birthday party my family is divided some think I should suck it up and pay for whoever wants to swim some think the party is for the kids and adults are on their own I should send a polite note my dad says I should rent out a sign and hang it on a wall somewhere that it says explains that they need to pay for themselves I haven't sent out the note yet I want to gauge the reaction I get before I do anything would I be the a-hole edits here is the note I'm thinking of sending hi all just a few notes regarding daughter's name's birthday party on this stage one the room housing the pool is kept a temperature of 90 degrees dress appropriately so you won't be too warm to life vests rafts pool noodles paddle boards etc a roll provided three there will be a lifeguard on staff during the entirety of the party for the pool depth is four feet all the way around five children under three years old must be accompanied by an adults and six the swim school has informed me that adults are welcome to swim as well for a charge of $10 per adults you can pay at the front desk when you arrive if you choose to swim with your child's they will not allow more than 30 people in the pool at one time if the kids were older I think it would be reasonable to expect that none of the adults would be swimming it's a kids pool party after all but since they're so young some of the adults might only feel comfortable if they're with their child what if you politely ask how many parents play on swimming because the pool needs to know ahead of time if it's three parents just pay it if it's all 19 then you can reevaluate if you can afford it I highly highly doubt more than half the parents plan on swimming from my experience with kids parties I'd actually be surprised if all of the parents even stayed I would say not the a-hole the pool is the a-hole this has to be an issue they've had in the past quoting you the price for just the kids without telling you about the adults is crappy of them but why in the world would the pool only charge for how many kids are there it just doesn't make sense this is Opie's oversight kids require more supervision than adults by law and national standards it would honestly make perfect sense to me if someone implied to me that the cost was based on the number of children I would just assume that they would know how many adults they should expect and know that given a lower need for super those adults would be covered by the available lifeguards that being said I have worked at a place that maintains a pool and know a tiny bit about how their standards work I think it sounds a bit [ __ ] ish but you are the one hosting also is it normal the parents join kids parties I remember when I was being younger the parents would drop us at the party and come back later maybe add a rule the pool is for kids only you're the a-hole but a hole is actually too strong a term here sending the note wouldn't be that bad but it would in my opinion be a bad idea and in poor taste for a few reasons one you already sent out an evite without strings attached sending a follow-up notes attaching strings after people already responded is obnoxious and comes across as miserly - you should have asked for more specifics about pricing when booking the pool it seems odd to me that you just automatically assumed only children would count towards the total of 20 people using the pool the mistake in not getting this information earlier was yours so I think paying for the parents should therefore be your responsibility 3 it is entirely possible that some parents may be irritated enough about the additional strings are attaching after they've accepted the evite that they've changed their mind about attending which would only end up hurting your daughter you're doing an awesome thing for her here don't tarnish it over this for if you do charge you're likely going to have to end up chasing after at least a few people for the 10 bucks which will make things more awkward possibly strain your relationship with your kids friends parents create resentments and just plain turn into a headache that lingers for you far past the end of the party itself I know adding a couple hundred more dollars to an already high cost sucks but if you can afford to throw a big party like this in the first place I'm going to assume forgive me if I'm assuming incorrectly that your financial situation is such that you could afford the extra $200 ish without missing a mortgage payment or eating only plain rice and beans for a month or anything like that so maybe just take it as a learning experience party up the dough and take the time to carefully scrutinize charges sieze etc when planning any events in the future either way I hope your kid has an awesome birthday party this is exactly the type of advice one of my close friends would provide me in fact I heard this in his voice while reading this so thank you that was a very well-thought-out and rational response update would I be the a-hole for asking parents to pay for themselves at my daughter's birthday party so last week I was judged as the a-hole I took the community's advice and did not send a nerd I'm glad I followed that advice because the party turned out fantastic and the one adult went in the pool and that was because his son was three years old the pool did not charge me for that guy since his kid was three two kids who were siblings got sick and did not attend so I was at 18 people in the pool including the one adults most of the adults sat near the pool and chatted some sat in the lobby some dropped off their child and left my wife and I received a lot of compliments from the adults and kids about the pool party and also an invitation to another classmates party next weekend my sincere thanks for all the advice I think I could have caused some unnecessary strain on the relationships with the other parents and now it seems that we are in very good graces with all happy ending all these updates are like really really good stories in all honesty I think I'm gonna do a trend now where I do cover updates in an entire episode and then the normal posts are going to be in other episodes and you'll be able to spot them as you're going through them some are going to be more story posts some are going to be more hey what are you guys think in the comments tell me are there the a-hole or nots so yeah just I'm keen for that but in regards to this story you know it was a bit of an a-hole move but reddit really helped them realize that what the right choice in this situation was and I think they made the right choice I think it was bad of them they were just misguided they didn't know what they were doing but hey it worked out in the end and I'm glad that it did now it's time to hand you two out Rumaki all right guys that's all for today's episode I hope you enjoyed it if you did be sure to tell me what you thought about it down in the comments down below if you're new to the channel also don't forget to subscribe it would really help out with my channel growth and also I'll huge shout out to my channel patrons and members I just love you guys and thank you for supporting me on this journey if you guys are new to the channel and you'd like to support me links it down below for the patreon or you can click the join button next to subscribe if you'd like to become a channel member alright guys that's all for today's episode I hope you enjoyed it I hope you have a good day night sleep whatever you're up to and I'll see you in the next episode bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 80,483

Rating: 4.8248472 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: w4bO0biJFMM

Length: 147min 20sec (8840 seconds)

Published: Tue May 19 2020