If Drug Companies Were Honest - Honest Ads

hello America specifically alone to the 90% of America with health insurance the other 33 million of um hit the bricks I'll wait hi the rest of you I'm Roger and I believe you're entitled to the health care that you need or perhaps the health care Hugh can afford that's why I founded Horton pharmaceuticals a company dedicated to holding drug patents our drug company gains patents by hiring the smartest people in the world and giving them anything they need to develop the latest most effective most cutting-edge business deals deals to by existing drug patents you are the best Dirk Dirksen attorney here anyway after we spend money advertising the drugs we patented and other money getting doctors to prescribe our drug and other other money lobbying in Washington we spend you know the rest of it on research and don't get me wrong it cost billions of dollars and years and effort to develop just one new drug but believe me we've got many many more billions than that that lobbying money brings us 30 billion dollars every year that used to be your taxes mmm your taxes I know this sounds complicated so just think of it like this oh hey [Music] we also spent 24 billion dollars and countless sales babe hours every year marketing our drugs to your doctor and your doctor is the one who needs medical health they're stressed out by school death and malpractice insurance premiums costing each of them Millions maybe that stress is why 53% of doctors are obese or why one in six surgeons has an alcohol problem or why becoming a physician more than doubles the chances someone will commit suicide who can blame those emo nerds for taking the bait when drug companies miss market a drug or two here are they're causing tens of billions of annual dollars and avoidable mishaps and deaths but don't worry our drug company cares about keeping you alive just as much as you care which is basically you don't ten percent of you lie to your doctor about your smoking habit twenty percent of ER patients are there to score painkillers that we make and doctors trained to figure out how you're lying to them not if because when it comes to being honest with a medical professional millions of you would literally rather die by the way my vertebrae hurt so remember until you die or lose insurance or need something we're pricing you out of buy my drugs drugs that I call pharmaceuticals so it sounds less like ideal drugs for a living which technically is exactly what I do I deal drugs hello I'm Raymond and I'm here to tell you about my pharmaceutical company this is horton turf [ __ ] [Music] which is technically exactly what I do I deal drugs hello I'm Raymond here to tell you all about my pharmaceuticals this is her turf [ __ ] your scary

Channel: Cracked

Views: 1,551,286

Rating: 4.9649096 out of 5

Keywords: big pharma, pharmacuetical company, martin skilreli, drug companies, phizer, drugs, perscription, perscription drugs, honest ads, Honest commercials, honest trailers, commercial parodies, cracked, cracked.com, funny, spoof, humor, hilarious, satire, comedy

Id: rbFYsYMA3No

Length: 3min 46sec (226 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 05 2016