If Smart Watch Commercials Were Honest - Honest Ads

[Cracked logo intro] Hi, I'm Roger, and I have one question: Are you ready to become the best you can possibly be? The answer is no, no you're not. So buy this doodad. I call it the Horton Phone Bracelet. It's a fitness related status symbol that's smart, in the sense that it talks to the internet. And you can use this do-dad for everything, theoretically. Which makes it your fault, if it doesn't change your life. Once you shackle yourself to this electric jewelry, you can track your steps, mileage, heart rate. And other data you never tracked before, because who cares? No one cared before. Caring about it, is a need I invented to sell this kind of stuff, and once you invest in this kind of stuff, you'll feel that need - which you'll decide is good! And as soon as you sync your Horton Phone Bracelet to your much more boring pocket-computer-phone. If you use a uHorton XPhone Generation 8 (otherwise go jump in a lake, you loser) Anyway this doodad on a necklace, for your wrist, lets you use your phone (without touching your phone) by touching this instead, once you've made it your phone's tiny friend. And for just a couple months rent, you can back-order this, receive one when we're done making enough of them, slap it on your wrist and fumble at it with your big hammy screen tappers. And did I mention it's waterproof? (for the most part) You're welcome! (for the most part) Close a business deal from any location, no matter how illogical. Stay notified of your familiar humans activities, while you're with different, more familiar humans. Run places! [Fit guy]: That's amazing! It does all that? [Business woman]: I could really use one! [Old lady]: Oh ho! I'll take two! Everybody wants one, because our tech companies target market is humanity. And we can't sell people our phone twice! So we build a-not-phone phone, that everybody could use and ended up with this health centric TV for mice. That we need you, to tell yourself you need, Or tell yourself and make a good gift! - that's how most people end up with these things - So why not one of your close familiar humans? Courage, Bitiflexity, that's meaningless. But it sounds like the top thing, doesn't it? Those words and even more words describe the Horton Phone Bracelet. Because we say they do! And the wearable health gizmo market is so new, no one can prove we're wrong yet. But we might be right, and you like stuff! Hell you can't get e-BEEP-nough of it! So grab yourself a Horton phone bracelet! And wear something the past's idea of what a detective from the future would wear. Today! I'm still Roger, by the way. [Fit Guy] Wow, I can even use this to catch Pokemon. [Roger] Sure, whatever that is, go nuts. [Business Women] I just caught a Pidgey! [Roger] Okay... [Old lady] I wish my Blastoise was better against the grass types! [Roger] (What nightmare future have I created?) [Subtitles by Alex Angel and SubtitleYouTube] Thanks for watching, if you want to subscribe hit the Big C in the middle and if you want to watch more videos like honest ads hit one of the boxes to the right! Be sure to hit the notification bell so Youtube will notifiy you when we have new video.

Channel: undefined

Views: 3,154,365

Rating: 4.9126997 out of 5

Keywords: Smart Watch, Smart Watch Commercials, Smartwatch, Apple, Fitbit, Honest Ads, Honest Commercials, smartwatch, review, watch, apple watch, smart watch phone, samsung smart watch, samsung watch, smart watch android, Apple Parody, parody, wearables, wearable, comedy, cracked, cracked.com, sketch, android wear, apple watch 2, apple watch sport, humor, spoof, funny, satire, commercial parody, honest, honest trailers, fitness, wearable tech

Id: RBWywYirukE

Length: 3min 15sec (195 seconds)

Published: Wed May 17 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/NotFrankZappaToday]

Cracked outside themselves with this one. Brilliant.

[u/custermustache]

This is hysterical

[u/eudezet]

Perfection