If Purse Ads Were Honest - Honest Ads

blammo well Arnott this is how I'll describe the giant pocket you carry that you'll pay thousands of dollars for because Hort owns brand designer handbags don't just carry your money fold ease or electronic talking calculator no they show the world that you are at the peak of fashion yes carrying your giant pouch filled with pounds of decaying snack bars and forgotten receipts might cause nerve damage in your neck it may create shooting pain down your arm or maybe it's just causing your back and shoulder muscles to destabilize when you effortlessly toss that tote over your shoulder but you are resilient and strong you show your creativity and uniqueness with your hortons tote because you spent the big bucks to get it the big bucks that I demanded because skinny people who walked on a tiny strip of bar grading in New York I'm Alon say that it's worth it but if you're not that and you can't afford my designer [ __ ] tones handbags that's okay to go ahead and buy the knockoff version yes you can still have a nice stitch together animal hide or plant fluff sack for less money now it's just several hundreds of dollars instead of several thousands that and the cost of a young child's youth because most knockoff handbags are made with child labor weight yes you could use that excessive amount of money for charities to help those children or you could simply be paying off massive amounts of debt you might be accumulating spending money on overpriced shoulder luggage but it's all worth it so you can have a handbag that you splurged on because you deserve to splurge and treat yourself at any price according to me you deserve not just my shoulder compressing tote but lots of them in every color because you can't carry the same handbag all the time I've arbitrarily decided besides how else would you carry things you look like a slob fanny pack that's hipster tourist nonsense pockets outfit things like my wallet phone mmm big pockets are for men that's another thing I just sort of decided and the rest of the world rolled with it speaking of don't forget to buy [ __ ] tone jeans now with smaller pockets they'll match one of your several [ __ ] tone purses perfectly because purses are for real women strong women beautiful women so by Horton's designer purses you'll look fashionable sensually tilted from all the back string and you can be that strong female provider you were born to be and carry my wallet when I need to go on a roller coaster or want to go swimming or just don't feel like carrying all of this around with me you need one you want all because purse makers like me make reusable garbage bags that you can sling over your shoulder and call beautiful you lucky duck we men sure wish we could wear purses hey I'm a piece of gum sorry it's ah women always losing everything in their purses I'm Roger by the way hey guys thanks for watching that hey did you know that monogamous sexual relationships are actually a recent development in human history I know that's the sort of thing you typically hear from a 50 year old guy with a ponytail who thinks all naked bodies are beautiful but as someone who finds the naked human body gross and repellent in most of its forms I'm here to tell you that science and sociology and history surrounding sex are actually really interesting even to a person who's never been to an orgy anyways that's not just a the more you know style public service announcement it's what our live podcast is about this month so Saturday February 11th 7:00 p.m. me Michael swam Theresa Lee are gonna be talking to doctor christopher ryan who wrote a fascinating book about what sex was like a long long time ago when humans were just starting you know tickets are $7 they usually sell it pretty quickly so click on the link somewhere on your screen now if that sounds interesting to you

Channel: Cracked

Views: 1,101,179

Rating: 4.9414897 out of 5

Keywords: honest ads, honest, honest trailers, cracked, cracked.com, sketch, comedy, funny, spoof, humor, satire, parody, hilarious, infotainment, prada, gucci, purses, clutches, women's purses, handbags, knock off handbags, donations, child laborer

Id: Fbx4sQE63P8

Length: 4min 39sec (279 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 10 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/SEEFHOEK_VOORUIT]

So there's this topic at r/askmen right now about why women have purses and men don't and they can't really figure it out. Like some people say 'I need it to store bottled water" and people are like "Why would women need bottled water more than men?"

And I can't believe that I missed the super obvious answer this hints at right before me, it's a fashion thing. It's one of those many things which started as functional and became fashionable, at one point every man was wearing a monocle, why would men need eye correction more than women? They don't,it was just fashion for men but not for women.

I don't wear a purse, I think they're uncomfortable and heavy around one shoulder, if I need to carry I use a rucksack which is far more comfortable.

Edit: Yeah I'm pretty sure it's a fashion thing thinking around. It completes a certain style of "girliness". Thinking about it a bit absolutely none of my friends have one because they don't go for that style.

[u/fwankdraws]

Also, women's clothing is designed to show off the shape of the body. To do that it has to be tight; meaning small or no pockets.

Thus the need for a purse as women's phones, wallets and lip balms won't fit in their clothing clothing.