If Jewelry Commercials Were Honest

let me guess shopping for someone special these are some pretty rocks we found they can't be used for anything and they all cost an exorbitant amount of money some come in shapes and others come with metal wrapped around them to get them we turn a blind eye to child laborers in the mines directly finance unsustainable mining practices the world over and in some cases buy diamonds directly from maniacal warlords using the money to buy guns and kill their countrymen you might think that the danger involved is why they're so expensive but actually it's just because we decided they are there are vaults full of these things but we only sell a few a year to keep the price up like a ticket scalper except that a scalped ticket can be exchanged for the experience of going to a live show and these are inherently worthless rocks like this one one of my favorites this is from our signature shiny rock that we found collection it's sure to make that special someone think you're willing to spend too much money on something that shouldn't cost that much money that's Love Actually full disclosure this is cubic zirconia it looks basically the same but it costs almost nothing so we use it as a show model I've got a yellow one and I've got one shaped like a square I call these ones fancy so we can charge more of course if you're trying to code an industrial drill then real diamonds work better otherwise glass is fine but please buy diamonds instead because they cost so much more oh that's not a jewel that's just a pretty Rock it's worthless Alan stop putting rocks in a display case unless you put the rocks in that we arbitrarily decided our worth a lot of money sorry hard to find good help these days when you sell shiny rocks at the mall to idiots oh no offense so come on down to shiny Rock mall store and trade your rectangular pieces of paper and assorted metal discs for these rocks we found we also accept that you hand us a plastic rectangle and we run it through a computer and hand it back to you oh I'm Roger by the way hey thanks for watching YouTube videos on YouTube this was our YouTube video subscribe to our youtube channel and click like on the channel and the video and leave a comment but not to mean

Channel: Cracked

Views: 2,949,117

Rating: 4.9272718 out of 5

Keywords: Jewellery (Industry), jewelry stores, diamonds, blood diamonds, Kay Jewlers, jared jewlers, commercials, commercial parody, honest commercials, funny, parody, sketch, spoof, humor, Satire (TV Genre), Sketch Comedy (TV Genre), Television (Invention), Commercial, Shopping, Store, Silver, Jewelry, Diamond, Gold, Mall

Id: giu23Ii3PAA

Length: 3min 10sec (190 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 13 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/incruente]

The best part is; they're right. Despite everything they tell you, if you went into this video valuing jewelry, you're probably going to keep valuing jewelry.

[u/LimeWizard]

There is a bit more to jewellery than that, from a scientific point of view at least. Like the way they're cut maximizes that refraction of light inside the material, and depending on the crystal structure of whatever mineral it is. And how its cut is planned out due to the varying shapes of the gems themselves.

That being said, yeah, hella overpriced. The tiny geologist in my heart is stabbed every time I see something like $3k+ stuff like "Chocolate diamonds" (Impure diamonds at up-marked price), you could get way larger and cooler looking gems for the same price. Jewellery retailers and the 'rocks have magic powers' people have really inflated the prices of so many minerals.

[u/amatera-su]

I used to work with a woman who bragged to me that she had made her boyfriend take out a credit card JUST to buy her jewelry, it made me feel sick to hear.

[u/GrunkleCoffee]

It's a damn shame Cracked fell apart, if only because Honest Ads went down with it.

[u/VictusPerstiti]

I agree with all the points made in the video, but value is in the eye of the beholder. If a bunch of rocks are pretty, they can be valuable for that purpose; just like art, interior decor, clothing, etc. They are not "inherently worthless".

[u/hitomi-kanzaki]

I remember my earth science teacher in high school gave a poll to the girls in class. If the boyfriend told them the ring was fake but it looked exactly like the real thing which was thousands of dollars, which would they rather have? You’d need a microscope to even tell the difference, he said. I was the only girl who would prefer the fake one. Some traditions we have really should just be tossed away. Boyfriends and husbands are expected to shell out thousands on jewelry for Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, birthdays, etc and before they know it, women have a drawer full of $$$$ jewelry they more than likely never wear.

[u/SarahEH]

Impractical rock hat.

[u/tourlover]

Nice, but I wanna know more about it. I visit a site->https://dressizer.com/bracelets-for-your-beautiful-hands/ that a jewellery item should me more pretty while we are wearing on it on special occasion. Do you got this point? I can't understand.