How is Twitter free? #99

elon tweets out the illuminati and two mad says do you mean torb on overwatch um yes and he says noob hey what's going on cuties my name is fainted and welcome to the 99th episode of how is twitter free and you know what that means the next episode is 100 bruh and to celebrate we have a special edition how is twitter free inspired merch drop and guys it's fire [Music] seriously guys it is some drip and i'll show you some more pictures and videos next week but for now let's get into the 99th episode hope you guys enjoy me holding my pet in the front of the mirror and saying this is you what the heck is wrong with the kids in my neighborhood hey man sorry about what my kids left on your porch they're just really bummed out about not being able to trick or treat this year ah they left this on the porch you've been leno'd the air is cool the season falls soon late night laughs will come to all enjoy your treats and be sure to let out two more people let's see what treaty's got we got a fat tub of mayonnaise i think some socks and then gillette fusion okay my guy's gonna be shaving with some mayonnaise juice by the looks of things and now he's gotta go and leno two more people if i was to see this at my front door i would i'd be very confused la mao these dudes are evil i remember in high school we used to prank cool dudes and act like college football coaches and act like we were giving them a scholarship that is seriously seriously savage the kid probably answers the phone it's like no way oh my god dad did you hear i got into college i got a top football scholarship and then they're on the other side of the phone being like oh jerk and then hang up the phone i love your regular texters because there's a mutual understanding between us that it's okay to text back five days later with no bad vibes gripping food with force get ready for it get ready for it get ready for it ah oh bottle of wine can you imagine being a seventh grade girl and being able to see your crush's bedroom during zoom class me in the seventh grade desperately squinting and trying to analyze what they have in their room so i can make them fall in love with me my high school daughter carefully rearranged her room so that her class is an absolutely blank wall i'm not having all those dorks see my room my wife kept saying you haven't been to the bedroom in a while and maybe you should go in the bedroom so i did and found this oh spooky scary skeleton i'm sorry you had to find out this way finding another man sleeping in your bed by accident sounds terrible enough i can't imagine the emotional rollercoaster you're experiencing right now i've fainted gotta let the teachers know subscribe to painting italy's location i can't really read exactly what's going on here she just says subscribe to fainted fainted what is the teacher going to be thinking when they get this answer back from a question about the mediterranean sea and then a student's like subscribe to me what were you known for in high school the rich hot popular kid they got invited to every party and had tons of sex yeah baby do not doubt this man do not doubt him the power of tick tock and uh all of the i believe cranberry juice has been sold out i don't know about y'all but we've been drinking cranberry juice just received this rollercoaster of an email from one of my professors hello all unfortunately i have to reschedule the exam i don't have to cancel class on thursday against my best wishes i have been shot and have been treated in the er i also have coved and the divorce is getting messy office hours are still 11 to 12 on monday to wednesday with your ta if i'm alive the exam will be moved to monday of next week keep reviewing the text and remember to look over your ids best professor baba bowie and apparently there's an update he really doesn't miss let's check it out hello all it seems that my last email went viral on the internet i appreciate all the replies letting me know fortunately the injury wasn't serious and none of my covert symptoms are serious the exam is still monday and it is asynchronous unlike my wife i expect you not to cheat good luck to all best professor papa boo his name's not actually professor baba bowie i just privacy reasons you know really throwing some shade at the ex-wife there nah if you have a girl best friend don't even come near me finally one fm on twitter with a brain add guys with too many female friends too i'm good because he's smashing them all at some point i don't give a freak what anyone say can't change my mind ah gal you're overestimating the sex appeal of men i can assure you that most women probably have zero interest in your man in that way okay so someone posted this video on twitter um i'm not sure what's going on here looks like maybe some kind of underground nightclub yo um yolo patrick's house fainted can i be in your next house twitter free video to convince you i'm wearing your merch on roblox and convince someone to sub to you what the [ __ ] oh it's so brilliant but so cursed this is the type of chat to pull up on your girl in the club oh and uh by the way guys the merch that this king is flexing in roblox is the what's up cuties match and that will be going off sale next sunday to make room for the new drop so yeah if you want to get the what's up cuties match this is the last week to do it bruh four years ago i was doing trolleys at sainsbury's on a monday night i left worked hard and got a degree from the university of sheffield now i'm doing trolleys at waitrose on a friday night never give up let's go my man's gone full circle except uh now he probably has like 50 grand debt don't worry my king your time is coming your time is coming or maybe this is your destiny maybe you're supposed to become the most skilled trolley pusher ever also fun fact i i used to work at waitrose yeah not gonna lie don't miss it i noticed a bunch of people working were wearing these all black vans shoes and i thought they looked really comfy compared to my ones which were like super hurting my feet from stacking shelves all day anyways i decided to copy these guys and buy some all black vans but you know what happens walking the store the next day and one of the managers was like listen you're a kid you can't wear those shoes in here what are you doing and i was like what there's like two three other people who wear these dude nice they did not like me boys one two three movies when i try pause my movie do you know what a milf is now do you know what a milf is dude these illegal movie websites are so sus i may have used to perhaps have dabbled in these types of websites when i was a young chap maybe when i was like 13 years old and yeah it's quite accurate the ads you get on those websites a little bit suss swore on stream cancel me five minecraft youtubers who've sworn i can't believe dantdm could say frick and pee-pee poopoo on stream that's shocking i haven't been over this for days it's haunting so we got a tweet here of someone saying girls using emoji looking like puss in boots guys using the emoji looking like donkey and then this guy comes along and says are both of these characters dudes might be wrong i'm not caught up on shrek lore if the cat is trans now proud of her you guys would not believe the rollercoaster of emotions i've been through so it starts with text from their dad saying i've got some bad news kitty has been missing since last night when your mum drove the neighborhood just now she found her in the street near the house your mom is pretty emotional so please reach out when you can and offer your support oh no so sorry to hear this and her sister says man just got off the phone with her she's definitely very broken up about it give her our loving person when you get home dad and be sure to get the woman her groceries love you guys and then the dad says well you're not going to believe this after a beautiful burial service and words of remembrance from yours truly we walk back in the house to begin our post-kitty life out of habit i looked out the back window i guess it was staring back at me you guessed it we buried someone else's cat i guess it's true cats do have nine lives face your kind words all is better now is this for real would you like a photo yes what the actual frick and there's the cat and then the mum text him saying oh and by the way i dug up the carcass and took it to our vet and it didn't have a chip in it because it's a rabbit do not tell the world about this i have seen some very peculiar things in family group chats but this this has to take it i'm in my class and my whole computer is on youtube watching fainted and my teacher asks my mom topic i said yes and she walked away he's flexing he's flexing i'd love to see this forget about playing cool maths games you've got to be watching fainted videos in class he cheated on his girl for you and you trust him yeah that's kind of sus to be honest think you get into a relationship with somebody who pretty much recently came out of another relationship almost immediately for you and they cheated on their ex it's not looking good bro because think if they were to do that someone before you maybe you're next not a good look first base sex second base hanging out in daytime hours third base actually listening to each other's music suggestions fourth base a food shop in the big sainsburys anyways yeah guys that is it for episode 99 the last one with two digits i'll see you guys all in episode 100 and of course tag me in funny tweets at fainted sad much love peace

Channel: Fainted

Views: 366,270

Rating: 4.9720435 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: uAl_WHIo6gw

Length: 10min 18sec (618 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 19 2020