"Homeless For The Holidays" is an Infuriating Christmas Movie

hey welcome back to my ch those simply won't do christmas that's better all right hey guys welcome back to my channel if you're new here what's up how's it going and if you're coming back what's up how's it going it's really good to see you again i hope you're doing well you see what happens when you subscribe to my channel you get an extra greeting at the beginning of every single one of my videos except for that one time so press the subscribe button for an extra greeting all right folks it's that time of year it's christmas time this is my favorite holiday okay you got you got it all you got gifts wine you got food you got family in regular circumstances and best of all you got old taint dick coming down the chimney eating up all your cookies but of course my favorite part of the holiday season is the movies there's a lot of great christmas movies but i feel like as time goes on in terms of christmas movies it's just kind of turned into uh quantity over quality so for every like good christmas movie there's like three million bad ones but within those three million bad ones there's usually one really bad one and every december on my channel we look at one of those really bad christmas movies and the culprit this year is none other than a movie entitled homeless for the holidays fun facts about the film uh the script was actually completed in three weeks and from idea to dvd release it took nine months which is pretty impressive but wow do i wish they spent more time on it i will say this it's pretty shocking that a movie from iproducefilms.com is bad but hey it's 20 20. anything can and will happen the plot is insane the acting is terrible and the ending takes a really sharp turn at the end and it's it's just something else so without further ado i got my christmas sweater on my curtis town christmas sweater on i think there's still some for sale on my website i got some holiday nog and we're ready to go so let's take a look at homeless for the holidays so the movie starts with some uh oddly cheerful music for a movie about being homeless and then it cuts to a news reporter talking about how a family's house is being foreclosed until their house was foreclosed just two days ago slow news day i guess but the main character jack baker he ain't having any of that okay because it's way too depressing for his son to be watching kind of a depressing way to kick off a saturday morning isn't it and then the son adam i guess he tries to like i don't know explain wealth distribution to his father do you know the unemployment rate in wooded falls is up percent this year but jack ain't having any of that either some of these people can't even afford christmas presents do you know what that means all the good toys are still in stock like i know this kid is a kid and all but wow he cannot act i don't know where they found him like he he doesn't give any facial expression throughout this entire movie so now we get the classic christmas movie trope izzy business dad he's never around because he's always working but hey at least he's a good dad when he is around don't you have comic books be normal oh never mind so jack and his wife cheryl go out to buy some christmas gifts when they run into an unusual santa and this unusual santa is asking for donations but jack only gives a couple cents because he's a greedy business boy so then this santa i guess like casts a spell on him or something because jack didn't give him enough money may your life be forever changed merry christmas cause you know santa he's always cursing people hey you know the old saying if santa ain't bringing you a purse well he's bringing you a curse so right after that jack and cheryl get in a fight uh because jack gets called into the office on a weekend oh busy business boy cheryl we have talked about this and real quick let's get this out of the way we're all thinking it i'm going to speak in yu-gi-oh terms here if you don't mind the actor who plays jack looks like if you were to use a polymerization card with adam sandler and seth meyers but minus all of their likable qualities it's like it's confusing like my my eyes are sending messages to my brain like he looks like two funny likable guys and then when i see any scene in this movie with him i'm confused and frankly pissed off what i'm saying is this man is the human equivalent of going over to your grandma's house and you see a tin of cookies but then you open it and it's just sewing supplies but then you proceed to eat the sewing supplies and cut your mouth open okay we got that out of the way i know you were all thinking that let's get back to the film so the next day jack is giving this big marketing presentation at his job for this uh new skin care product they're working on and this is when we meet jack's assistant wesley and listen he's a little goofy if you couldn't tell by the music they're playing in the background when he talks if i could have just a few moments of your time i'd love to show you some new concepts for the beautiful blue line so quick summary of wesley he really wants jack's job but nobody really respects him but you need to remember wesley for later in the story because he is important and a little goofy so the next day at least i think it's the next day i don't know time in this movie is a [ __ ] illusion this plot could take place in one week or three years i have no clue but the next day i think there's a bunch of reporters at jack's front door can i get a comment soon because it turns out there was a huge misprint on the new bottles of the skincare cream and it's apparently jack's fault i need a again slow news day i guess so the bottles were supposed to say do not inhale fumes but they ended up saying do now inhale fumes so a bunch of people got sick and are mad at the company for it 200 mindless drones were hospitalized after those bottles shipped last thursday which is fair i guess but like at the same time if you're a skincare company making products so dangerous that it'll hospitalize you if you inhale the fumes don't i don't know man maybe get into a different line of work don't get mad at the misprint you know you told people it was okay to inhale the thing they're putting directly under their nose you even so this next part is also really weird because jack's boss is like hey man i know this wasn't your fault i know you didn't do this but the people are gonna blame you all right so so we gotta fire you are you throwing me to the wolves which makes no sense at all because when a company messes up like people are mad at the company not the one employee that made the mistake right like imagine a company going through a scandal and they just single out a specific employee all right thank you for coming to this press conference everyone we are aware that the last shipment of chicken breasts still had the nipples attached we are really sorry um but we want to assure you that it was not our fault okay it was actually because of our employee james right over there hey all in a day's work right [Applause] [Music] [Applause] wait you guys like the nipples shake tin boobs chicken boobs and that's the story of how young james became the ceo of chicken breasts now with nipples but anyways the boss is talking to jack and he's basically like are you gonna uh take the fall for this and save our butts or get everybody fired and for some reason jack takes the blame for the misprint it's impossible to find a job in this economy this economy so for the next little bit jack kind of just mopes around the house all sad and stuff to speak in yugioh terms uh his life points go down to zero and this is when i started to really not like the main character he was saying how stressed he was at just the thought of not having a job i'm our only source of income but now he has no job and instead of even trying to provide for his family he just sits in his office like wow no one's calling me on my work phone never rings anymore it's almost like i don't work there anymore well yeah you got fired stop saying that but cheryl has had it okay so she steps in and whips him into shape jew what do you want i told you who's gonna call me it's time to come back now seriously ice water see that the cure for depression so next there's a montage of jack trying to get hired at like a bunch of different places he applies at a bowling alley a car dealership a high school basketball practice for some reason listen coach i know i'm a little older than the other guys but i will be the only point guard with pubes but after all that work nobody wants to hire that sad sack are you kidding me right now i don't think so okay so now we cut to jack's old work and this is another part of the movie that makes zero sense to me so they're all stressed out now because apparently a rival marketing firm wants to hire jack but they don't want that to happen because he's like the most qualified marketing guy in town that's probably why purist has been trying to steal jack away from us for years and they want him to work there at his old job even though they fired him that literally makes no sense why fire pick someone else to [ __ ] take the blame right you're fired hey where you going i don't know i have a feeling this might end badly for them this could end badly for us so when jack gets home that night cheryl gets uh pissed at him for not spending his time well enough while she reads a magazine on a rocking chair we need an income also really quick i gotta say jack is always just a little too quiet or the music's too loud something has to change you cannot talk to me like that speak up walk around like i'm mad at the world speak up jack you want to slam the door kick the neighbor's dog hey whoa jack the [ __ ] it's escalated very quickly holy [ __ ] get the neighbor's dog that's got to be something he thinks about on a regular basis you know you know just randomly suggest something like that oh damn i'm out of cereal oh i'm so mad i could kick something where's that neighbor's dog of mine all right so the next day jack goes into this fast food place uh to get a job but the manager won't hire him because he's not his type just not my type hello creepy but smart business boy jack he works out a plan where he'll work for free for the first week and if the manager likes him then he gets to hire him i like that big brain play jack thousand iq and this next part is can so annoying and it's like a common theme in this movie so jack has to like dress up as a penguin and like greet people that come into the restaurant and when he's in the bathroom getting ready for his shift there's a guy in there who's just being such a [ __ ] for no reason don't forget to wash your flippers there eating establishment but you'll see going forward anybody who isn't a main character in this movie is so [ __ ] mean for no reason like everyone sucks let's see how his first shift goes baker there you are man where have you been i need you back here now i thought you wanted me outside you and i mean man speak up jack [ __ ] i thought you wanted me outside like at no point was the director just like hey man we can't [ __ ] hear you can you talk louder i thought you wanted me outside like imagine any other actor doing that i don't know who you are liam we can't hear you i don't know what you want liam your your audio's not picking up on the mic gotta talk louder i can tell you why i don't have money i thought he was like a professional what's he doing oh [ __ ] he peed his pants again guys yeah liam neeson pees his pants like all the time you should google it after this video so like you saw the restaurant is super busy so jack goes behind the counter to take people's orders with no training because the manager is swamped and he needs help and you'd think the manager would just leave you know to go do other things to help the other employees because it's so busy right no this movie makes no sense why would they do that the manager just stands beside him while jack tries to do the thing the manager was just doing that arguably makes things go slower right hey man can you help me lift this couch i feel like it'd be easier if we both did it oh yeah for sure man all right all right thank you [Music] what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] okay this is another one of my favorite scenes in the movie michelle stop it mommy's trying to read [Music] i love you jack baker wow those shitty kids and angry lady remind me of my shitty kids an angry lady i hate my family so once jack remembers he has a family he immediately turns into a cashier god he absolutely cracked at taking orders my guy what may i get you and again we've got more people being mean as [ __ ] for no reason wonderful day maybe for you [ __ ] you're cheery another [ __ ] you guys have order number 319 move your family out of there everybody sucks so two weeks go by jack gets his first paycheck which honestly it looks like a takeout menu or a brochure that they had just laying around like you can see a bit of the text like through the paper and you can see the text goes from like top down you know unless they're paying jack in like acrostic poems i don't think the prop department did a very good job but i guess his paycheck was way less than you expected and i just i love the music that they they chose for this scene it's just is that it yep i asked twice i won't make a mortgage payment isn't that so goofy an entire two weeks of work isn't enough money for a mortgage payment corporations don't pay their employees livable wages isn't that just so kooky oh man wish i could pour ice water on that paycheck make it all better you need a second job also did the writer of this movie just forget that women can get jobs too i don't know jack you're gonna have to get two jobs i'm just a stupid girl sorry girls can't get jobs all they know is read magazine on rocking chair poor ice water and face eat hot chip and lie so then the family is having a christmas dinner at their house with their friends now that was a meal then the cable gets cut because they haven't paid their bills what's up with your tv baker so everybody just leaves we should get going another example of the secondary characters being just so mean for no reason i'm sorry your house doesn't have cable all right is that a torch what are you doing oh i'm setting your house on fire it's [ __ ] useless oh man all right well i'm out of here bye love you okay bye i love you okay so now things are getting interesting old goofy wesley comes into the fast food restaurant and tells jack uh that they might be giving him his job back he's making plans on bringing you back and jack is super excited so he goes home to tell cheryl and this is also when we have like a rough timeline for this movie finally so the daughter spills the beans to her friend about uh jack losing his job your dad lost his job she says that he lost his job like three months ago like three months ago and if you didn't know christmas still hasn't happened in this movie so then this movie started in what like september i guess and if that's the case why was there a man in a santa costume asking for donations in september well actually on second thought i guess he was an unusual santa so never mind santa is pretty unusual in any month other than december that is pretty weird now that i think about it like if you go to a mall and you see santa and he's got a kid on his lap and that's in december that's totally normal but if you see that in like june i don't know i'm i'm keeping an eye on that santa okay this part [ __ ] pisses me off jack tells cheryl that he's gonna get his job back hopefully and listen to what she says to that we have to celebrate wow we don't have any money i've got some emergency money tucked away i've got some emergency money tucked away watch you guys haven't paid your bills in months you can't afford your mortgage and your cable got turned off the cable turned off and you've just been hiding money for an emergency all of those things i just listed are emergencies also jack getting his job back isn't even a sure thing and you're all using the last little bit of money you have to go out and eat steak and lobster i hate this family i hate jack and another thing that pisses me off jack literally has a call from a rival marketing firm saying they want to hire him i'd like to talk with you about a marketing position here and he's like nah i'm good i'm just gonna go back to my old job where they threw me under the bus for no reason are you throwing me to the walls this plot is so stupid it makes no sense i'm gonna speak in yu-gi-oh terms for a second here [ __ ] this movie all right so now cheryl pulls a classic zoe deschanel and sings in the movie for no good reason [Music] and this boy has yet to show any emotion and heaven and nature sing and head the daughter's killing her she's a great actor but this but the son holy [ __ ] to the world the lord is ah jesus [ __ ] christ let every heart prepare him and heaven oh my god what is wrong with you are you human i've never seen you show any emotion what is going on so jack actually quits his job at the burger place to go get his old job back but they say no because the public apparently still hates him we can't start issuing you checks until the public forgets why they hate you which i honestly find very hard to believe i doubt there's just some guy out there just loathing jack's existence right i hate this family i hate jack oh it's also revealed here that uh wesley was the one that like sabotaged the misprint big twist they don't really spend that much time on it though for some reason what can you tell me about that so when jack gets home they get some bad news if we don't send them 4 800 in the next seven days we're gonna be homeless for the holidays you're not getting your bonus are you so with that terrible news they go to their church and ask them for 4 800 so they can keep their house but they say they can't help jack because they don't have enough money because of people like jack who didn't donate enough money i'm learning stuff what and don't worry we're getting close to the end and like i said earlier in the video this is where things start to kind of take a turn but before we get into that we have to watch this really quick scene because i laughed so hard when i saw it and i want you guys to see it as well one of the extras just [ __ ] looks right at the camera and it's the one good scene in this movie we've not been placed on this earth to maintain status or to build up treasures [ __ ] sorry seeing the [ __ ] time too movie [ __ ] sucks as he looked into their eyes he could see more could it be that other perfectly presented people were experiencing troubles of their own at christmas time could it be other people have problems too empathy jack questioned for the first time ever whether the glittery splendor of north american consumerism was really enough to fill a holiday with a genuine sense of joy the [ __ ] are you talking about so jack is about to leave the church when this random old man stops to talk to him and it turns out this old man was actually the unusual santa from earlier in the film and i also think they're trying to imply that this santa is god you know i'm not just a kindly old man who cares which seems to just come out of nowhere usually christian movies are pretty upfront about it you know but not this one it like it leads you to believe that it's a normal movie but okay well not like you know what i mean movies are either christian or normal but no it tricks you into thinking it's like a regular movie and in the last 20 minutes it's like no it's actually because of god god is real and [ __ ] you the ones that i'm supposed to love and provide for are gonna be homeless for the holidays homeless for the holidays you show me a winner who left his family homeless at christmas time he had reasons for doing what he did what the [ __ ] is going on he was sent to save the world you see what i mean like where did this come from you're here to be that person who genuinely cares about others time to stop wishing for it and start becoming it jesus sorry god god's opportunity knocking him okay so now it's pretty much the end they end up losing the house so they they move into this tent village for the next few months until the boss from the rival marketing firm uh tracks jack down and figuratively pours ice water on his life and hires him to be the marketing director at the rival company and we want you to come on board as our director of marketing we want you on our team so does everybody else and that's it that is homeless for the holidays it's okay to say merry christmas the biggest problem i had with this movie was like homelessness is like a like a really big issue but this movie kind of like weirdly glamorizes it at the end which i really don't like the family was homeless for about like one percent of this entire movie and when they were homeless they made it out to be this like [ __ ] fun chill time you know it looks like they went on a [ __ ] camping trip and that's not what that is like at all i don't know but i guess the moral of the story is when the going gets tough just [ __ ] wait it out and uh god will do all the heavy lifting for you that's right this was a christian youtube video the whole time well let's hear a word from the last sponsor of 2020 expressvpn internet privacy is important we know that but how do you make sure you're staying safe with expressvpn of course every time you connect to an unencrypted wi-fi network you're at risk with only basic computer knowledge hackers could gain access to your passwords financial details or even your emails but when you use expressvpn 100 of your data is protected using the highest standards of encryption so your internet 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it up for a non-profit called second story they're a great organization that provides housing and counseling for young people experiencing homelessness including pregnant and parenting young women and their children so i thought you know this was fitting it'd be a perfect opportunity to uh to do some good this holiday season so if you uh if you have the means to donate please do don't just do a couple cents or else i'll uh get santa to curse you i'm just kidding it's fine just whatever helps and um i will be matching donations up to 10 10 grand how about that so if we reach the goal of 10k i'll match that so it'll be 20 grand for second story that'd be great so let's uh let's hit that goal yeah this video hope you enjoyed it if you did please press the like button because uh one like equals one cup of ice water that i will throw on your face leave a comment let me know if you want to see more uh bad movie reviews i actually have one more like semi christmas themed movie that i want to do in january maybe so let me know if you want to see that one but i found another movie that i really want to talk about and yeah press the subscribe button because i make a video all the time and as soon as you press the subscribe button you become a valued citizen of curtis town if you didn't know curtis town is the best place to live in the world and i'm the mayor so you have to be nice to me you can check the description for the other things i do i got my podcast down there called very really good it's it's a very really good time on my instagram my twitter merch all that stuff yeah man this is the last video of 2020. uh this year was [ __ ] up i started this year uh really excited to uh do a bunch of shows and you know just travel a bunch but obviously that didn't happen um so if you saw me the beginning of the year thank you for supporting me thanks for coming to the shows and uh other than that just thank you for watching my videos this is my dream job i get to make just [ __ ] stupid videos every week and i have so much fun doing it and i and i truly i'll never be able to thank you enough for allowing me to do what i do but yeah thank you so much for watching me and supporting me uh if you grab merch if you watch my videos you like and comment whatever you do to show your support i [ __ ] i just thank you so much hopefully i'll be able to do shows again next year at some point i don't know fingers crossed because i miss doing them yeah i hope you're staying safe see you next year now you can google liam neeson peeing his pants okay [Music] what the [ __ ] whatever all right okay

Channel: Kurtis Conner

Views: 1,609,521

Rating: 4.9861588 out of 5

Keywords: kurtis conner, kurtis connor, movie, christmas movie, homelesss for the holidays, commentary

Id: cabHu9tIomQ

Length: 26min 49sec (1609 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 22 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/feeln4u]

Just watched this on Prime, it’s a sizzler.

[u/tahir399]

New video plssss