Growing Up With A Narcissist [ANIMATED STORY TIME]

I'm putting this on here right now because I know it my channel grows someone's gonna be like see this is what happens to youtubers when their channels get bigger they turn mentally insane no you silly commenter I've always been mentally oh you guys my name is Michelle McDaniel and welcome to my channel my thoughts will probably offend you and today we are doing episode one of what it's like having a father as a narcissist yes episode 1 because these videos would probably be super long and I don't know if you guys have time for all of that so I was watching Shane Dawson series on Logan Paul and he was talking about traits of narcissism and I was like well yep that's my father I just never had a name for it I call it being an [ __ ] but I guess it's narcissism is the appropriate word in non Michelle land so I never thought my relationship or a lack thereof relationship with my father would ever affect me because I've always been physically strong and mentally strong but as I grow older I noticed that daddy issues can really cause some mental issues now this video might be a little off-putting for some people it probably already is a little off-putting I'm sure you're expecting me to cry and be like that's not really how I express myself I don't think I'll cry on a camera I mean I do cry a lot but I do want to get my point across without making this so emotional so that other people can see that you don't have to have this affect you so much you can still come out pretty strong now the thing that I don't struggle with being weak mentally and how my upbringing or my childhood kind of affects me now it definitely still affects me but you don't have to have it suffocate you is the word so like I said it might be off-putting for some people I'm very sarcastic I use cartoons as examples I draw cartoons as example and it's my story and this is the way that I I want to express it to you so after watching Shane Dawson series I started reading more about narcissism and in came a list of top treats of narcissist and I thought I would pick a few and tell you a couple stories leading up to the recent of me cutting off my dad so today we are going to talk about three traits about narcissism conversation hoarder conversation interrupter and false image projection conversation hoarder the narcissist loves to talk about him or herself and doesn't give you a chance to take part in a two-way conversation you struggle to have your own views and feelings heard when you do get a word in if it's not an agreement with the narcissist your comments are likely to be corrected dismissed or ignored so many people have the poor communication habit of interrupting others the narcissist interrupts and quickly switches the focus back to him or herself he or she shows little genuine interest in you false image projection many narcissists like to do things to impress others by making themselves look good externally this trophy complex can exhibit itself physically romantically sexually socially religiously financially materially professionally academically or culturally in these situations the narcissist uses people objects status and/or accomplishments to represent the self substituting for the proceeds inadequate real self so now that we know a little bit of a background or you know the definition of these traits I'm gonna tell you guys a couple of stories about my childhood and just interactions with my dad and by the end of this series you guys are gonna kind of come to your own conclusion if he is a narcissist I don't know I'm not a therapist but I do check a Google and the website was written by a therapist so it's pretty much the same thing I think it lines up so perfectly and what I read this is think back to my childhood all the interactions that I did have with my dad because there wasn't that many the ones that I did have we're pretty bad I think back and I'm like damn I had a very bad relationship with my dad I'm just realizing it at 28 so let's get into my daddy issues with this story time growing up I learned from a young age that my dad needed to have a good image he really emphasized on looking like the good person making his family look like the perfect family because if he doesn't have a perf family that would make him not perfect I personally think he only had kids because that's what you need to paint the perfect image or look like you have a successful life you need the wife s-phase home and cooks you dinner ready to serve it for you when you come home from your successful job you need at least two or three kids me my sister and my brother and you also need your kids to be successful as well he was very controlling over what success meant to us as in in his head you have to go to college to be successful so one day we were on a family vacation in beautiful Hawaii it sounds great and gorgeous and relaxing right it should have been but it was the exact opposite it was horrible I hated the family vacations that my dad went on because you couldn't be yourself if you said one thing that didn't fall under his belief he would blow up blow up so much and so hard that you wouldn't stop until you changed your opinion to his so we were in Hawaii and we went out to dinner I was nine I remember I ordered a steak a baked potato and some dessert cheesecake I always loved cheesecake and we finished dinner we're going back to the hotel I have no clue how the subject of college came up but my parents were talking about it and I blurt out I'm not going to college I'm gonna be just like mommy my mom didn't go to college and my dad flipped out yelling at me in public voicing in my face telling me I'm going to be a loser if I don't go to college I will be nothing then ending it with you don't want to go to college you're paying for that steak dinner that's what happens when you're a loser and you don't go to college I remember those exact words like it was yesterday I babysat kids on the weekends and I worked really hard to make $25 which I was excited to have it was my own money plus I got that $25 babysitting some pretty horrid children but my dad made my little nine year old hands open up my Pokemon wallet and he snatches the money rips it out of my hands and walks off and he didn't talk to me for the majority of that trip he literally cut off his nine-year-old daughter because she said that she wanted to be like her mom the woman that he married in public to a nine year old what the heck it took my mom to convince him to talk to me his nine-year-old daughter and even when he did have the discussion with me he was still saying how I was wrong how I was going to be a loser if I didn't go to college and it took me as a nine-year-old miniature human being saying I'm sorry dad I'll make sure to go to college because it's the right thing to do and only then that his whole expression his demeanor change and then he loves me and at that time in my little nine year old head I was like oh he's probably just watching out for me because he loves me he wants the best for me but now that I'm older and I hear him and his friends talk about all their accomplishments pretty much kind of bragging about themselves and how much money they have and what kind of cars they have and how they live on a golf course and and blah blah blah and all the stuff that I hate talking about specifically though how they talk about their kids and their their kids accomplishments because that goes back to them they kind of use that as like oh my kids accomplished that which means I accomplished that it's the false image projection type thing I mean imagine someone who needs to have that successful image who needs to have their kids also be successful be in a group of men talking about their sons and daughters success or what college they went to and Bob over here says oh yeah Mary's going to Harvard she's gonna make this amount of money and Billy over here says aw yeah Jake's going to I don't know where the hell Jake's gonna go to but some you know top school and then they all look at my dad and I'm wait for his answer and my dad has to say oh didn't go to college always always always that will just make him feel less of a man I also remember one day we were going to the mall sometimes my mom would send us with our dad just so she could probably get a break from him and us I was a crazy child I also hated when she would make us go on so little you know trips with my father because once again they sucked I would have much rather see watch the Powerpuff Girls but we have to go to the mall my dad and I remember being kind of happy because at this snow but the snow was getting all cleared up into a sunny outside of my mom let me wear shorts and we're walking in and my dad just stopped grabs me and he goes Michelle your way there Ashley why aren't you wearing lotion people are going to see that and think we're gross family very similar to the college thing and he just looks at me like I am the most disgusting piece of and he made sure to walk in front of me so people didn't think we were together once again I was nine literally all I had to do was take some lotion slap it on my little nine year old knees and we could have had a pretty bill horrible shopping day now tell me if I was like appropriate as a father to a nine year old put lotion on your kids legs I still don't understand why he was so upset about that through the years of growing up this is pretty much how it was with my father I never enjoyed outings with my father whatever he was in the room or if we went somewhere on a family vacation it was very stressful unenjoyable walking on eggshells and just that fear in the back of your head that if you say something wrong or something that he didn't agree with that you were going to be cut off and looked at as if you were just gone that's what it kind of felt like when you know you didn't say something that was under his beliefs I could talk about this all day but that's why I mean to make it into a series because this would just be a bajillion hours long of me just venting to you guys I don't think y'all really have time for that so we'll just split it up also anyone who sing oh you shouldn't put this on here most likely my father and my father's friends and family when you are basically told from a young age that your opinion doesn't matter or that you're a liar when you just saw something straight-up just happen or that you're just wrong or just simply be quiet and stop talking and be that little girl who sits in the corner and has no opinion of her own and no voice that little girl grows and she starts to say you know what I don't give a [ __ ] I'm not bleeping it out I'm a grown-ass woman now dad he hates when women curse but I say [ __ ] it so I'm gonna say what I think on YouTube since the issues have been brought up to my father and he likes to disregard anything that me or my mother or my little sister has to say about the past and the present this is the way that I'm going to decide to express myself about my childhood relationship and the relationship that I don't have right now with my father I think finally actually just talking about it and just getting it out will help me mentally because I have never been able to talk about it before especially when I was a kid and I've recently been talking about it some of my personal training clients and you would be amazed with how many other people we're going through the same exact things that I was going through as a child and sometimes it's just really nice to know that you are not alone at least that's what I think so next three time we'll be talking about more narcissistic traits of a narcissist and leading up to the recent event of me cutting off my father because of physical altercations that really pissed me off quite frankly thank you so much for being here you guys it really does make me feel so much better talking about this with you because once again I wasn't allowed to express feelings when I was a child so this felt like a good old therapy session so thank you so freaking much I feel refreshed so until next time make sure to subscribe thumbs up this video if you enjoy there may be if it helped you we made a comment if you can relate or if you know someone who has narcissistic tendencies and I will see you guys next time [Music]

Channel: My Thoughts Will Probably Offend You

Views: 60,433

Rating: 4.9799809 out of 5

Keywords: Narccisist, narcissist parents, parents who are narcissistic, mental abuse, parents who are mentally abusive, shane dawson, jake paul

Id: 5YY6_BN-DKQ

Length: 12min 21sec (741 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 15 2018