FUNNY TINDER POSTS #14

if you roast me I'll roast you okay but I asked first you should get a boob job so I have something else to look out besides your big-ass forehead [Music] if I get claimed flat I'm gonna be mad hi are you my stepsister mmm yes oh my god step ro help I'm stuck okay I'm on my way but seriously though who wouldn't smash their stepsister I mean you're not related right so what what's the problem so you guys girl 27 years old she says if my future husband is down to freak me in the laundry room real quick while the kids are downstairs watching The Lion King and there's 10 minutes left before the dinosaur nuggets are ready I don't want it cute short thick and sarcastic um hello be taking husband applications I'd be interested I'm gonna submit my application online is that okay cool hello there general Kenobi you're gonna have to explain that one I'm disappointed oops I'm guessing that Star Wars or something general Kenobi um what the heck is that would you rather got with a 10 with a bad personality or a 5 with a great personality 5 with a great personality any day ha ha that'll do for me then hey I'm Ben how's your day going my day is going alright and yours also I'm pretty sure you might old best friends annex well I'll be off then nice meeting you I was briefed but she did say old best friends so he might be safe that he really shouldn't far away the chance maybe teach me some Taekwondo in bed laughing my freakin ass off sucks I'm on my period they say ketchup and corn dogs always go together brah this guy Sony bro oh and speaking of corn dogs you may not like it but this is what peak performance looks like you know you found yourself a special gem when she can fit that many corn dogs in her mouth when she doesn't reply back on tinder but you've already pictured both of you getting married having kids getting divorced and dying why does it have to end with getting divorced and dying also the bomb right image kind of looks like my boy Pablo's flexing for an Instagram pic what's up are you a Tesco self-checkout because I really want to put an unidentified item in your baggage area Oh honestly well done that's what I've had in a while I'd date you just because you made me laugh we got the homey Steven here and 30 years old from the University of Nebraska 6 feet 2 inches 200 pounds I don't know why girls keep getting all upset with me when they find out there's a free separate measurements just when the girls are getting hyped because they thought he was 6 foot 2 they realized oh wait he's 6 foot per has a a 2 inch [ __ ] oh no but hey he's 6 foot so whatever I'd still smash Lindsay 27 years old works at Electronic Arts English University of California lives in Redwood City has 30 miles away and for some reason in her little um bio area it says zero one zero one one zero one one one one one like you know a lot of numbers here and if you actually throw this into a binary translator it comes up with you lost the game whatever who cares she's 30 miles away anyways who wants to go first miles for a dinner date not me I hiya how are you today good you pretty good curled up in bed with my cats I'm curled up in bed with my FWB oh that's fun - room for aford yeah I'm not a fan of being aford been there done that not my thing then can i watch you smash him this really just sounds like the stava Brazos production I think I'd literally kill for a nude from you right now wall okay kill me and you can take photos of my corpse well I'm not gonna light that works that's fine okay be right be right back I'm just gonna go get a few weapons I am NOT here for hookups however I am versatile shaved and have 300 Instagram filtered pictures of my booty hole I'm looking for a man who isn't afraid to crack an egg in my ass and smash me so hard it scrambles a family-focused man who is willing to turn my mouth into a daycare center with his baby gravy Summit's watch romantic hardcore [ __ ] clown fisting P o RN whiff why is a good guy so difficult to find I don't think good guys that difficult to find but when you start referring to their ejaculate as baby gravy yeah we got a problem that's probably why you are pizza good day sire I'm sorry but have you spent the past hour talking my friends trying to decode this message what does it mean I was honestly thinking the same thing like is he trying to take a girl out for a ride on his unicorn or something you're Italian her I wouldn't mind a piece of that ass sorry for my rudeness no one has been around to teach me manners ever since my mum passed that way come get a piece of that ass then are you for real sorry I have crust issues booga-booga lemma what a Oh I'm not gonna lie I thought about deleting this app after you sent that who wouldn't someday dismiss to you antenna booga-booga and a Oh Berta sis and I Xbox like party chat my friends what are you doing hi my name is Microsoft did I come crash at your place funnily enough Microsoft was the nickname my first girlfriend gave me someone hook this man up with some viagra pills please hey do you mind answering three simple questions for me I don't mind ask away what's to take away one one what's the opposite of day night stand is that what you want so you're down freak off I want to hear how your voice sounds while you scream my name you planning on the freaking me or murdering me whatever makes me come faster thirty seconds that's my record wait actually might be 25 just trying to marry someone before I turn Freddie so I don't snap and chain someone in my basement for sexual satisfaction and reproduction huge plus if you are a virgin because you have the lowest rates of divorce you know people in relationships have the most sex and I am one horny mother-fricker roses are red so is the states let's be comrades because you're so great we can break the chains of capitalism unless you're into that that is the best thing I've ever received you're attractive hmmm I think you mean your yeah this is definitely a good reason to unmatch with someone on tinder if they can't spell your correctly or use the correct pronunciation or whatever then there's no point the relationships doomed I also taught myself to bake so I'm making a loaf of my co-workers nothing starts today like warm buttery bread Oh exes mom naked I love coming home to that I lived with his parents who was one of the reasons we didn't work out but the bread was oh my god baked gross oh so you're good with numbers yep two plus two equals four oh so how would you do with this and then she sends him her phone number what is this how you get girls numbers these days two plus two equals four is it simple math this one goes out to all the kids who said maths would never come in handy in the real world next up we have some leaked footage if the next GoPro device is gonna be on the market in the next six to 12 months gonna be selling for a retail price of $39.99 it's an epic device oh my god you look like the kind of girl I would have shared my cookies with in kindergarten okay I think I spent too wholesome for the tinder app my friend but maybe it worked my guys really trying to go scout cookies his way in some [ __ ] what them for so basically my wife and I just looking for a sperm donor we just recently went for a miscarriage so we're just looking for a nice guy who wants to pass in his genes with zero strings attached ASAP fakes an advanced okay have oh I'm sorry but this just goes against my morals I can't do it the only difference between me and a mosquito is I don't stop sucking when you slap me this is just a level of horniness I've never seen in my entire existence on planet Earth Almighty so you've got Laci here okay and this guy's just super like tub but in her bio she says if you're looking for a girl with infinite bad jokes I'm your girl Doug enthusiast at least I'm not a horse girl and then right underneath we've got faith she's a horse go pro I don't know what I want so just try me and as you can see the horse chillin out there oh my one of the one of the chances boys anyways you can only be this video ready hope you didn't enjoy feel free to check out another episode by clicking on the screen maybe even subscribe if you haven't already because we get in close to that Mille and yeah I'll see you all in the next one have an absolutely amazing day much love peace

Channel: Fainted

Views: 699,939

Rating: 4.9456758 out of 5

Keywords: tinder, r/tinder, funny tinder posts, funny tinder posts #14, top posts, funniest tinder posts, conversations, messages, tinder messages, tinder conversations, tinder chats, meme, memes, tinder memes

Id: dgQxqbVq-K4

Length: 10min 4sec (604 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 12 2020