FUNNY TINDER POSTS #2

congratulations you've matched with Simon to start the conversation select one of the following one bad pickup line two random fact free tool ice one truth I'll go with one bad pickup line are you it's our because I fell for you are you free Friday like a class sorry alright what are you free honestly I'm just on here for jokes sorry not trying to meet up with anyone fair enough why did the chicken cross the road well I don't know tell me sorry I'm just on tinder for the set up lines match with cute girl on tinder and talk of her all nights go to message her the next morning she unmatch 'as me wait but she imagines me happy Mother's Day I'm here to make you one weird your dog looks really up bruh what up bruh it kind of looks up bruh in the pic what's up bruh nothing much how about you hi hey sorry I didn't reply after I read I just found out my sister's pregnant no worries and congrats yeah I'm gonna be a dad's sweet home alabama' plays ominously in the distance hey what's up up is a very popular Disney Pixar film that tells a silly yet sad story about an old man's attachment to his house it's a great film you should definitely watch it what's your favorite kind of soup um chicken and vegetable a fine choice why thank you what an odd first question though you can tell a lot about somebody by their favorite soup what can you tell about me well you like chicken and vegetable soup CJ 25 December 28th 2016 hey how're your holidays going December 27th 2017 happy anniversary today 10:02 a.m. I feel like we're drifting apart wanna know the chances of us hooking up 0% ever check the weather and it says 0% chance of rain but it still rains anyway my point is Teresa I'm the meteorologist but I think it's a chance of rain Claude 20 years old I'm kind of like the Chinese stock markets in that I'm also a source of constant disappointment to my father [Music] Casey I don't know who you are I don't know what she wants but what I do have is a very particular set of skills skills I have acquired over a very long sexual career skills that make me a dream for people like you if you swipe left now that'll be the end of it I will not look for you I will not pursue you but if you swipe right I will mash of you I will flirt with you and I will you how would you describe yourself in five words trying to get laid I live in Alabama sometimes I go to New York City to work yeehaw oh boy you a cowboy that's right I did buy some Wrangler jeans a couple of days ago wow you have a horse too or nah but I got something else you can ride campsites 22 alt hello there worry Swiper you have stumbled upon a campsites here you can rest your weary thumbs and partake in the peace and quiet that a campsite offers feel free to take a breath and relax your mind from all the thoughts bouncing around in your head before you go remember that you an amazing person and anyone would be lucky to have you farewell stranger my anthem Old Town Road remix please frost me girl you look roasted enough amazing roast me back what did the two say to the nine please roast me haha well that was a stupid joke I have a good knock-knock joke but you have to start it knock knock who's there a really bad knock-knock joke a really bad knock-knock joke who a really bad knock-knock joke that I find incredibly funny I also have a knock-knock joke that you have to start all right knock-knock come in come in who come in me aren't me your sale assistants in the grand scheme of life trying to sell ourselves as good people to everyone we meet Wow that's steeper than I expected there's twice in your life you'll say that with me smooth Suites you're 18 right 17 wait when's your birthday October 25th happy birthday are you a toaster cuz I want to take a bath with you are you the last guy that I matched with on tinder because I've seen this line before are you code I've written because my lines aren't working okay that was clever it's the year 2030 the divorce papers came through and looks like I'm keeping the dog it's the year 2035 a few years after the divorce you come crawling back to me telling me you miss me I welcome you back as I missed you too we reminisce about the good times we shared you stay the night I kill you in your sleep and I take back my dog me only swipes attractive people attractive people only swipes attractive people me are you a dumpster because I'm willing to rummage around inside you for anything worth recycling our planet is dying so I'm doing my part to make sure no piece of trash goes to waste this is my first five minutes on this app in like 10 years thank you sir please come inside me if you are a soup what kind of soup would you be I don't know what kind this isn't a joke or a pickup line it's a chance for you to take part in a self-reflection exercise where you take a look at your qualities and make a decision on which suit best represents those qualities take this seriously and we may both learn some things about you corn chowder great choice ah I want you to roast me like Michael Scott's foot on a George Foreman grill to help you out I live at home with my parents at the age of 21 I've spent my youth being cyberbullied on Club Penguin and I shamelessly clear my search history at least three times a day I want to disappoint you as much as I've disappointed my mom your favorite that's an office reference bro how did you get that okay I'm sorry guys I'm sorry I haven't watched an episode of the office please forgive me a Santa Claus never got me the box set for Christmas there's nothing I could do Lance how much does an elephant weigh do you mean way low yes that's correct that depends on the type of elephant can range from two thousand seven hundred kilograms to six thousand kilograms for full-grown elephants depending on the type well it's enough to break the ice Hey my name is Jason and I like to party why is the elephant on the ice tell me something interesting a group of baboons is called a Congress I meant about yourself fourth image the black and white being with four legs does he belong to you I meant fifth image great question glad you didn't just ask me if it was my dog that would have made no sense at all but it's my parents dog they live in I speak in riddles to maintain a false pretense and I'm somewhat interesting it's not working okay that was actually an incredible roast I put my heart and soul into it I'm proud of you it really shows also I'm afraid of roller coasters so feel free to roast me on that as well again Brandon I really don't care why hello there young strong American man hello young Jewish girl how goes it I've always wanted a man who could tell I was a Jewish girl right away it's in my blood if you know what I mean to notice juice okay he'll know races have Reds I put jam on my crackers if you nut in space it pushes you backwards and I some guy sees her bio and censor this message violets are blue I prefer jelly instead of in space I'm not in your belly Kayla 20 free don't hit me with hate gorgeous because I'll find you boring and won't reply so this guy ends up taking her advice and messages are saying hey oakley i got a snap but it's my premium one what the [ __ ] it's a snapchat premium where i post my knudsen sure I know what a premium Snap is 2019 imagine paying for nudes that's a no how about a date first before you try and slide into my wallets ask me if I'm an aeroplane are you in airplane no but I will go down on you like a Boeing 737 tinder pick real life I was on tinder and accidentally swipe left on a guy I had a huge crush on and I obviously wanted to match him so I literally bought tinder premium for 9.99 just to go back and swipe right on him we didn't match match with a girl we plan to go out on a date she stops replying a wait she's sort of like what what oh my god no no please no the dudes who are using that snapchat filter to make himself look like cute girls have officially infected the tinder app nobody is safe be very cautious help me what's the best way to beat my friend and rock-paper-scissors right now cut his arms off all right help me the cops are coming what's the best way to escape cut their arms off dude I love the blue gummy worms yeah they're a good one but sorry dude I'm not gay by the way Oh Lowell just looking for friends then no I don't have a passcode on my phone and my friends change my tinder settings after I fell asleep last night nice hey hey what's up Dylan I'm just chillin how about you same here nothing much do you like rice yes I've got a ton in my dorm if you get hungry there's nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who has a sizable collection of rice trust me Austen 30 free to the women over Ferdie I'm a successful business owner and want to start a family two ladies under 30 I'm hung in breed lab puppies if you're wondering why I look so familiar it's probably because he saw me starring in Ed Sheeran's Galway girl music video see pictures seven and eight for proof look at this guy's groundbreaking evidence in photography right here to prove that she in fact did start in Ed Sheeran's music video I'll be just look at this quality right here you can see her from a mile away she's really looking like five pixels out of Minecraft Hunger Games what's a fantastic claim to fame she was definitely one of the main actors in that music video no doubts I'm the kinda guy you can take home to meet your mom she'll think I'm super funny and charming and cute but actually Chan is sexy at the same time she falls in love of me I think I feel the same way we get married I'm your dad now I confront you young lady why you on tinder you are now grounded there's 21 letters in the alphabet right this is part of the cheesy pick-up line I honestly don't know how many letters are in the alphabet what anyways guys that's it for this episode of funny tinder posts I really hope you have enjoyed if you new around here then make sure you subscribe to the channel so you don't miss out on the next episode and hey if you're feeling extra nice you could even follow me on Twitter for some comedy gold just kidding guys but yeah I'll see in the next one have an amazing day much love peace fire spreading around my works okay it's hard to breathe but cats are [Music]

Channel: Fainted

Views: 2,913,044

Rating: 4.9450145 out of 5

Keywords: tinder, r/tinder, funny tinder posts, funny tinder posts #2, top posts, funniest tinder posts, conversations, messages, tinder messages, tinder conversations, tinder chats, tinder conversation, tinder cringe, cringe, funny, posts, meme, memes, tinder memes

Id: bm50DkMv2Cw

Length: 11min 16sec (676 seconds)

Published: Tue May 21 2019