Everything Wrong With Bee Movie In 15 Minutes Or Less

reading according to all known laws of aviation ah narration of the reading now reading kill a black yellow black Oh black and yellow yeah let's shake it up a little this is the movies first joke and it's so lame you wonder how the rest of the movie ever got made in the first place another indication of this movies terrible humor inside of two minutes honey used as hair gel gargle and deodorant bees honey laughs damn you and a perfect report card all B's get ready for an hour and a half of bee puns and that's about it I help with bees have cars more importantly how the hell would bees have cars is this just an animated version of all the things Jerry Seinfeld likes like cars sneakers and dating women that are way out of his league it is Oh comedians in cars getting paychecks okay I'm willing to buy that these bees operate more or less like humans only they retain most of the characteristics of bees but there's a competes area in this hive and it's successful enough to take up a large chunk of the front page of this paper also shouldn't there be more concerned over the frisbee hitting the hive must have been like a giant earthquake these guys parked the car and then it was straight why they shouldn't need a car by flying out of the car quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances this thing should be called pun movie and I don't mean that as a compliment I like puns I just prefer good ones are we gonna pick our job today I heard it's just orientation how the hell did these [ __ ] not know what's coming where they seriously not informed that they were gonna do beep what was the point of school then that girl was hot she's my cousin yes we're all cousins casual reference to the ramp and incest in this hive is extremely casual the same job for the rest of your life I didn't know that how could you not have known that this is something that would've been taught since birth right this ride is pretty stupid to begin with but using honey instead of water for the flume is most wasteful of honey and resistant to the laws of physics and how honey works ha ha nice Splash Mountain gag but where is camera there's nothing that's mounted anywhere near the slope to get this angle also why is camera wait they literally just said everybody knows just think someone you die so how was this [ __ ] able to off seven other people then himself those are pollen jocks man this movie sure is selective on what the main characters do and don't know so they know who the pollen jocks are but nothing else about how honey is made I think our cousins too distant distant Alabama we going 900 a gate what do you think buzzy boy wait so anyone can become a pollen jock at a moment's notice I know the fly boys are [ __ ] with Barry here but they're also being serious about him leaving the hive is this a breach of protocol who knows anything about the rules here I thought they were supposed to pick their occupations that day right but it seems like right after the corporate lady made that announcement everyone went their separate ways Jesus I don't think this movie even stopped to watch itself yeah go to start calling everybody dogs man there's some excellent 90s comedy in this 2007 movie whenever a bee dies that's an opening he's dead this goes on for some time also if this is the case why rush to get a job picked anyway Adam said the good jobs would be taken but they're constantly opening up what happened B antenna our phones man they actually make a ringing noise when you get a call when but these guys are all checking different things and are only checking themselves not the entire fleet so this is some really wasteful use of radio waves my mouth I can't believe I'm out why is this such a big deal at the beginning of the movie Adam and Barry were talking about their friend that was killed by a squirrel so apparently school-aged bees are able to leave the hive but this is Barry's first time also this shot suggests that the bees immediately ascend to the altitude of a New York City skyscraper which is some serious beat these kites are also being flown at or above the height of a skyscraper despite a complete lack of string or people holding them we have roses visual so was this the six mile journey that the pollen jocks were talking about yesterday they didn't even leave the [ __ ] Park movie completely reinvent zombies pollinate flowers for the sake of I guess maybe toy sales I'm not sure why the guns had to be part of the equation to be honest also sure the firing of suck guns in order to extract pollen from flowers is apparently extremely typical behavior and is completely unnoticed by humans those aren't even roses and your orders this morning definitely indicated roses you're off script chief dude seriously reaches up to grab the frisbee that's surrounded by a swarm of bees that's commitment none of these bees get swatted to death by any of these humans this the coolest what is it I don't know what I'm loving this color is seen not only presupposes that experience pollen jocks mistake tennis balls for flowers but also that they'd never seen these in Central Park animated upskirting no lie the movie is going to hinge on the first day out of the hive guy getting stuck on a tennis ball and not getting smashed by native the ensuing tennis name circuit counting how many times ib would be killed over the last two minutes alone so I'm just gonna guess it would be 32 what a sign in the movie that many [ __ ] sense not only does he believe this why I was table but he's also literally flying in the rain while chanting this mantra made it into a fold-out brochure what the hell but I said Ken we're playing tennis less than 2 movie minutes ago and all we've seen is Barry get toss into a car and fly into a window but they had time to finish the game pack up and get all the way home Barry and acts exactly how I feel watching this movie Jesus Vanessa was able to change clothes and come up with a spread in less than 30 seconds goddamn time-traveling Zellweger's covering up their goddamn tracks it's at this point you start realizing Vanessa might actually want to this be I guess I've seen more egregious product placement but definitely not this cheesy coffee actually I would love a cup setting aside the many and practicalities of this interspecies meet-cute how that would Barry drink a cup of coffee or know what coffee is but not like windows watermelon I thought you said Guatemalan huh why would I marry a watermelon ladies and gentlemen Jerry Seinfeld humans humans I can't believe you were with humans and apparently no one noticed that Barry was gone all day despite the pollen jocks knowing specifically when he was lost how'd you get back poodle but the hive was within sight of Bridget Jones apartment right Barry could have flown home in a matter of seconds do you know do you Jesus Barry was out of the hive for an afternoon but apparently is super goddamn knowledgeable about humans I can I will gladly volunteer to deny said yearning be heart your yearning for a human smoothie is dumber than stupid he's in the pool I thought honey was this super precious commodity so why did the Bensons fill an entire [ __ ] swimming pool with it Oh to be in the tournament of roses that's every florists dream I knew a florist once her dream was to turn a profit in a calendar year I realize she kind of weirded out yesterday when they first spoke but isn't she just a little too okay with talking to her newbie friend on day 2 to normal in less than 18 hours ray liotta private select I can only assume this is a joke about Newman's own products but Paul Newman's food label donates every red cent a profit to charity so I'm not sure why I would deserve mockery and if it's not a Newman's Own joke and it's just a famous person started a honey business joke then you'd have gotten a lot more Milan try to using Jessica Alba here please don't know about this this is stealing how in the world would be he's not know about this maybe your hive doesn't know but bees talk to other bees right none of them have ever seen a human harvesting their honey he paints his yellow stripes black but leaves his yellow face and yellow sweater alone because he is a beam and has no concept of subterfuge and this is a stupid movie fYI Abby is fencing with his stinger against a human using a thumbtack this biker can feel the drag difference when a [ __ ] bee lands on his backpack we saw Mulan and then called Chris Rock and said hey can we hire you to do like a b-movie version of that voice I guess in order to be a successful beekeeper one must have a consuming hatred of bees this is your queen that's a man and woman's clothes that's a drag queen instead of pointing out the dated humor of a movie from way back in 2007 I'd like to submit the question of how king bee knows what a drag queen is wait where the hell did berry good king spy camera he didn't go back to his hi after discovering the honey in the grocery store so that means he just had it on him while on its date with Vanessa which brings up some even more disturbing questions dating a cricket once in San Antonio man those Crazy Legs kept me up all night movie will simply not miss a chance to throw in a reference to some creepy crawly interspecies insect intercourse nobody works harder than bees telling that to Michael chiquinha seriously movie B Larry King is the best you could come up with for this [ __ ] cameo not Larry Queen or Larry sting or anything creative Larry bees have never been afraid to change the world I mean what about bee Columbus bee Gandhi but Jesus quiet please actual work going on here is that that same bee wait so the whole bees can talk is just accept it now and even though it's the first rule of beat'em not to talk to humans Barry phase zero repercussions for breaking it I'm helping him sue the human race well you want a flower shop so I'm guessing you're a huge help why but instead of flowers people are given balloon bouquets now yep she's right the last two weddings and three funerals I went to all had balloon bouquets and almost zero flowers you know very this lawsuits a pretty big deal that's why I'm mailing it at night after preparing it myself and not even once consulting a lawyer why is there a jury shouldn't it just be a preliminary hearing how did the jury even get selected if this is the first day of the trial judge bumble ttan this movie's not happy giving me the finger wants to also shove that finger up my butthole Barry be Benson versus the honey industry you can sue a whole industry I'm kidding I'm kidding yes your honor we're ready to proceed the whole world was waiting to hear Abby talk for the first time but now that it's happened they could care less your opening statement please this movie is basically the non-holiday Miracle on 34th Street for bees that was actually probably the whole pitch but since it was coming from Jerry Seinfeld the studio execs didn't pay much attention to the words and just threw cash items mr. Klaus van der Heyden of Honey Farm Berry told us earlier that flying is exhausting but he's hovering during this examination instead of standing can this movie ever follow its own logic Halliburton and Enron jokes always slip you mean like this even in a fictitious world where bees are allowed to sue humans for taking their honey I refuse to concede that the judge would allow a live bear into the courtroom honestly this film could be brilliant if interpreted as a satire in the state of the American legal system have you ever been stung mr. sting a [ __ ] sting cameo because his name is sting and this is a movie about bees how did Jerry Seinfeld have any credibility after this movie thank you Ray Liotta lampooning himself is worthless in off even in a movie this both articles visible in this issue of variety have lorne it some texts also Tom Jones it's not on you you want to write articles for variety also also this New York Times is from 2007 this New York Post is from 2004 and this variety is from 2005 but they're somehow covering the exact same current events are we doing everything right you know legally I'm a florist I'll take conversations that should have happened days ago for 600 Alex you think I don't see what you're doing okay I'll point out the obvious here and note that Ken is scared of losing his girlfriend to a f--king B which is goddamn insane but the fact that he's literally threatening the bastard knowing full well that Barry will tell Vanessa is even insane er not as much huh ken went from jealous boyfriend to full-on pyromaniac in seconds flat berry isn't able to get out of the water and fly away but he is able to grab a nail file and surf on it also I wonder if he'll tell Vanessa where that file has been it happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time are there other bugs in your life this is an excellent but unsatisfactorily answered question wait a minute listen this movie's gone completely off the rails but the main issue here is that Adam isn't objecting to this line of questioning and that Judge Oprah is letting this [ __ ] circus play out in our courtroom you're out of order so trial is out of order now the movie is claiming that in addition to being food for the bees honey is also their blood movie sauce Toy Story and may the laziest choices possible while trying to imitate it why is Adam in a human hospital shouldn't he be back at the high where they have the actual tools to heal him what do you think the humans will do to us if they win well you sued them so probably not much the honey companies are essentially defending themselves against a pretty species [ __ ] lawsuit and assuming you've done step 29 correctly you're ready for the tub judge somehow did not throw Adam in jail for contempt of court 25 steps ago living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man what but this is a jury trial can you just stop a legal proceeding midway through and declare a winner is this justice wait for my signal take him out I know Barry won his court case but because of that they're letting him command an ATF squad b-movie inadvertently invented fidget spinners so is this a normal race style workers uprising or moral fable about the pursuit of ultimately selfish goals that appear to be for the good of the many or is it still about a bee bro trying to bone a human lady why the hell wouldn't Vanessa talk to Barry about the lack of pollination long before she ran out of flowers they're still seeing each other right holy not only to Barry but get this entire urban hell skate he must have eliminated the entire human population I made a huge mistake this is a total disaster and it's all my fault Jesus Christ he took out the repetition and the non-sequiturs I swear to god this movie would be 13 minutes long looks like we're gonna be experiencing a couple of hours delay Barry these are cut flowers with no water bacon really didn't think I could care about something less than the relationship between these two but the plot twists at the end of this movie are making a really good case train pilot is one of the only [ __ ] in this movie to freak out over a B haven't we been through this already Perry's been all over the [ __ ] noobs somehow this movie is going to end on an action scene with the flower shop girl who talks to bees landing a plane and it's like 15th on the list is stupid this movie is slung at us now attempting to land a plane loaded with people flowers and an incapacitated flight crew how the [ __ ] did the B news get this information so quickly is there a Richard Thornberg up on that plane on a phone leaking details to the press [Music] this works they chant for Barry to think like a bee and then he tells flower girl to bring the nose of the plane down but she's not flying the plane the million bees carrying it all what the hell is going on what in the world is on the tarmac it takes air traffic control this looking long to notice that one of the runways has been infested with bees Barry you've earned this not only did the pollen jocks remember to bring an extra uniform it's specifically in Barry sighs what what where I didn't this is still going on wait the bees that surrounded a complain and we're numerous enough to form a target on the tarmac all came from one hive in Central Park even Barry refer to the flower on the tarmac as consisting of millions of bees that is so not how pollen works you think a movie that wants to have an environmental message would at least take a quick peek at science somewhere along the way milk cream cheese so all the animals can talk and we're just finding this out now and he's a bee you're a goddamn cow did you even get out of your pasture to come here he's a lawyer too ma'am I was already a blood sucking parasite all I needed was a briefcase this movie had four screenwriters can we squeeze in a joke about a priest a rabbi and a preacher into this cliche fest before it's over I just checked in thankfully only 21 seconds [Music] my mouth I've been out in one job forever that's an insane choice to have to make you're a very nice guy but I just don't have any room in my life for a new friend is it necessary for me to drink my own urine no when I do it anyway because sterile and I like the taste you have got to start thinking be my friend thinking be oh not the best a black yellow black Oh black and yellow oh we just came up for the funeral we're marvin kessler he went too early he was 96 years old welcome to regal entertainment kid is back on the escalator again [Music]

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 9,204,103

Rating: 4.7877321 out of 5

Keywords: review, everything wrong with, jerry seinfeld, cinema sins, mistakes, movie, eww, cinemasins, animated, wave jockey job, dreamworks, bee movie, bees

Id: TaVvm0r_gho

Length: 16min 5sec (965 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 04 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/ROBOT_B9]

After seeing this movie sped up, slowed down and otherwise memed to death, it's honestly surreal to see it normal. I love Jerry Seinfeld but I don't know what he was thinking with this.

[u/Yoshi2010]

"Could care less"

+1 sin for basic grammatical error

[u/Arcanist365]

Oh lord they finally did it. Never thought they'd actually sin this one for a long time, especially since people have been bugging them for a while about this movie.

[u/Meta_Boy]

I was trained to expect a "... some bullshit" at the plane thing.

Which it was.

[u/Whilyam]

The Bee Movie, but every time something stupid happens a bell rings and a counter increases.

[u/NicoTheSerperior]

YA LIKE JAZZ?

[u/Rhyfel]

"I like puns, I just prefer, good ones" And suddenly just like that I remember Rogue One again.

[u/MilSF1]

This could have been 20+ minutes long and still not get it all. They just ignored the whole “bees have patents?” issue for instance.

[u/sljerlivliesrare]

"Beehavior" pun was on point.