Everything Wrong With Despicable Me 3

Comcast this already annoying logo which I'm going to go ahead and give five cents for introduces the first fart joke in under a minute of the movies runtime close the rule book states that if the joke of this nature occurs in under a minute then the movie shall be levy to fart tax of ten more cents what it all came to an end in season three so did Balthazar go into puberty just now on the show and they continue filling leading us all to wonder where is he now this leads me to wonder who's watching this hardcopy show why is this the format they used for Balthazar's backstory if we're just gonna cut to the present day version playing a villain on TV was fun but being one in real life is even better Trey Parker voices a character in a despicable Me movie and I couldn't be more shocked if they announced the bass ketball - also boasts position or is it boats position I mean I guess it's boats position also also introducing Balthazar breath a character that seems entirely inspired by Peter Dinklage's character and pixels which was based on Billy Mitchell from the king of Kong but mostly the pixels thing because it sucks Balthazar made a mixtape that has love songs on one side and heist music on another I know this is a cartoon but who does that also when Clive flips over the tape he flips it at 180 degrees right to left making this cassette player nah impossible [Music] this is a terrible movie but it's even worse when you realize that a significant portion of the budget was used to get the rights to a Michael Jackson song even if Balthazar is the sneakiest character in the world his speedboat should have already announced his presence to these two ships even if the lookout is only concerned with looking in one direction nice try at pettiness illumination but you can really only start throwing shade after you've made something as good as Finding Nemo any explanation given for how the convenient weaponized bubblegum works no god this movie already and it hasn't even been five minutes Silas sounded the alarm about the heist after was ongoing and Balthazar just got the diamond so how'd it grew and Lucie could hear so fast were they just out riding around in their torpedoes for fun in the exact location as the ship with the time and she's getting away this is really the faster form of transportation why didn't they ride these [ __ ] the entire time you guys so cute this girl who thinks the minions are cute must have missed out on all the [ __ ] in the world using these curses teeth grinding memes for the last seven years you'd think after just one time having a weapon knocked out of these guys hands they'd stop standing so close to each other but that would ruin whatever gag this is supposed to be crudité Jesus Christ in the first seven minutes alone they've packed in at least seven thousand five hundred and thirty four 80s references can't wait til they get to the slap bracelets in act 2 funny bit but if Bruges this close to the window that means this building is currently being destroyed by the floating ship so are these beach babes actually gonna please minions I mean I'm not judging I just want to know how that's supposed to work and if they have the proper protection against mini eights no one on this beach either noticed or cared that a giant freighter floating above their heads is being boarded by heavily armed government agents there must be some awesome moly available at the speech I even bother with the subterfuge of disguising the entrance to the headquarters if the transport occurs out in the wide open as everyone in this universe and capable of looking up what's right a few losers as agent Groh Valerie enacted her hostile takeover of the AVL and was promoted from the head office but she doesn't know who congruous either from his villain or hero days oh the girls who apparently don't aged over the course of seven years of movies how could you let Balthazar Bratz the AVL's most wanted villain just get away wait Balthazar is the AVL's most wanted villain so why didn't you send I mean Silas told everyone in the area to go there but how is that only GRU and Lucy are they based in Miami this highly secretive agency feels the best way to fire their agents is to throw them out in the clear view of the public today Lucy and I were invited do not work that's the problem though sure the agency's probably provided some good benefits but GRU was independently wealthy even after he stopped being a villain in the last movie mine Katie's dad does let's not go over to Kade this house and crew still has minions and a ton of weaponry but bands the kids from being exposed to the real evil play pokerstars.com also you knew this highlight reel of good GRU and evil GRU couldn't go without at least two jokes lissa me late bo Pomodoro calm quit over two movies GRU hasn't said in minionese but all of a sudden he breaks that out here on the surface of an unfunny joke Mel's trying to Norma Rae the minions here but if they're so fixated on villainy why didn't they strike during the last movie when they had the exact same reservations in case she confused it with Paras Sierra Leone that Chief of Police sent me he was concerned that during the recent health attempt the Dumont demand was replaced with a phony we find out later this is Balthazar in disguise but seriously wouldn't a museum have already conducted this test and then wonder why the police chief is telling a gem expert to go to the museum unannounced I guess a villain needs to make a dramatic escape in most instances but can he just walk out the front door he's sleep darted the entire museum staff I was considering groot just committed an extremely casual homicide he may as well go back into full villainy after you and your father were born your father and I divorced and someone was there to document the exact moment you guys fell outta love decided to divorce and separate the kids with a short burst of Polaroids we each took one son two ways on our own and promised never to see each other again and this agreement was totally fine with him whatever laws were in place at the time also why did drew wait so long to contact group just because their parents divorced it doesn't mean he wasn't allowed to find him all this time this is the family business the largest pig farm in the whole of Freedonia hard to believe the pig farms still in business considering they just leave these [ __ ] anywhere on the property including the runway no that's my private part holy Sh like I just sighed so hard I cracked a rib it's almost like they told Steve Carrel try and do something more annoying than minion sin this is what happened after take 1 million 57 I was my brother finding a wife like you when he is so bald that's boldest screw was super goddamn excited about meeting his twin who's been nothing but nice to his family but one crack about him being bald immediately softened his brother boner now you how the hell was this show a hit even if brats considered cool in the eighties he does a bunch of evil [ __ ] right we're kids ready for the antihero concept back then it's too bad GRU won't be around to try and stop me how does brat know that GRU was fired does he have an unexplained mole deep in the AVL's HR department the pig farm was just a cover for the real family business damn drew wasted no time in telling guru about his sinister family background how does he know Gru's not still working for the AVL GRU work for the AVL we're surely someone would have made mentioned that his dad was a villain unless the AVL simply erases all evidence of all the villains they've ever gone after even though in the front of the cars pointing down during the fall this grappling-hook shoots at the top of the cliff because this franchise has a big meaty middle finger for those of you who believe in like physics go take a bite of his cheese young lady you just do it what's the worst that could happen Lucy encourages Margot to not only approach strange foreign men but also to eat whatever they have in their hands one eyed bartender temporarily forgets which eye he's lost and don't try and tell me this is a subtle clue that he's faking the one eye thing because this movie is anything but subtle okay yes please village cops mobilize fast were they staking that candy truck out also if King candy truck isn't open during the middle of the day what about the festival that's happening nearby are we saying these pigs can catch up to the souped-up hotrod earlier I thought it was amusing that evil brat was outrunning the cops in his big wheel because that's something an 80s kid show might do but now I'm thinking this movie believes non engine vehicles can compete with cars but they just went through the wall of the town right those cops were relentless during this chase but just gave up when they encountered a hole in the ground sure everyone in the supposedly realistic Southern California city just ignore the army of cirrhosis pills walking down the sidewalk man this pizza delivery guy is never-ending stack of pizzas that go past that letterboxing you're telling me the restaurant allows him to deliver pizzas in a way that will cause lost inventory and seventy-five percent of their profits car required [ __ ] so wait this posters advertising a show called sing but it's not the movie that came out six months before this one it's just another thing called sing exclamation point originality much movie also if they are related I want to see a universe where Seth MacFarlane and Trey Parker have to do a scene together especially after that whole cartoon Wars thing a few years ago the minions were able to walk through the backstage production and onto the stage of a currently filming singing competition because we've literally run out of situations to put these little quads into also characters running through a Hollywood studio find themselves on sound stage during filming and nobody thinks they're intruders until it's way too late and we're much Dumber cliche the scene is a humorous inside joke because a pile of pink toilet paper is exactly how the script was provided to the cast is it just me or is there something a bit off about this movie they introduced a main antagonists like Balthazar then go to another story entirely with grooves twin brother which makes it seem like two different movies were being made at the same time and splice it together at the last minute of course Edith I know this has played for laughs but why did they pick Fritz to constantly spawn in this movie does he have a dark past that we don't know about even though Drew's house is three times as large as Cruz they still put the girls in the same room together complete with the dangerous triple bunk and a ridiculous ladder no child should ever climb it might not be good unicorn finding weather oh yeah let's not forget the C story in this movie gang this is attempt to find a unicorn I'm beginning to wonder if they're going to fit Sandman and venom into this thing huh it's funny cuz its crew wait these [ __ ] were prosecuted for walking onto the studio lot and convicted within hours goddamn I thought this movie was just going to be silly and annoying like the other two despicable means but this genuinely sucks I've never seen a movie this short waste so much time also man but sure are funny aren't they you've stopped your movie with stupid little [ __ ] animated banana Tic Tacs just slap a butt on there an instant comedy [ __ ] gold key movie there was no emotional connection between GRU and the minions before now and he certainly was never shown taking any of them fishing also according to this shot we've got roughly five minutes before the earth is swallowed by the Sun when the movie told us that Agnes was going to seek out a unicorn in the forest I thought that meant with adult supervision Lucy flipped out earlier when they disappeared but I guess walking alone into a forest that a one-eyed bartender told you no unicorn lives in is perfectly okay no seriously how many unnecessary subplots are there in this movie that's mostly about the rivalry between GRU and Brett Margot still hanging out with the dude that gave the cheese will Edith continue her torturous pursuit of Fritz well the minions ever do anything entertaining okay this is Brad's lair wait I thought earlier it was a big deal that he escaped because well you didn't know where he would go after escaping but you know where his lair is in the AVL is a well-funded organization committed to stopping villains so I don't see the problem even if his lair was considered impenetrable you're about to do this job with two people it may not look like much but this place is armed with some of the most high-tech weaponry known to man how is it the brat developed all this evil Tech by himself it's not like his character was described as a super genius he was just a failed child star and even though he probably had some scratch from evil brat it only lasted less than three seasons so the fact that he's enormous ly wealthy is also some bull oh damn I didn't realize Harvey Weinstein had a son that lived in Freedonia Oh mija mija how stupid is this movie wait is brat Slayer seriously with an easy boating distance of Freedonia it's styled as a European country and GRU lives in California so where are we I miss dominions I don't quick camouflage both I was he able to go in a camouflage mode and stay in sticky mode when we saw GRU going through the options it seemed pretty clear that you could only pick one mode if you could do both then why even bother doing this mission without it even though the Rockets are pointed specifically at drew the scanning device has a flair for the dramatic and starts on the other side of the wall mani sticky suit sure only sticky when the plot demands him to be also grew made the plan to break into Brandt's lair before he even knew the suits existed so how the hell did he think he would get in this plan is highly dependent on these suits well it looks like someone's been reading the comic grew trap and finally got to the section on GRU stone ining Balthazar's layer is impenetrable except if you want to burn a hole around an AC unit wow the minions have been committed to this escape plan considering this little guy is being actively shown what kind of air conditioning unit has a panel connected to a carpeted floor drew and GRU just happened to be here at the exact time brat set his alarm to put his evil plan into action also this could've been a good time to turn on that camouflage feature of these suits app getting shot in the eye with this laser causes tinnitus because the writers have clearly lost control of their senses back not only did brat have all these dolls programmed to kill he had them all in boxes able to be synchronized to voice commands keep in mind that this technological genius still watches VHS tapes [Music] Lucey ex machina but how did she know they were here and what did she think she was gonna do in this helicopter didn't GRU tell her that this lair was impenetrable and had a defense system that would shoot missiles at anyone who got close to the AVL and get their jobs back yeah but GRU already had the diamond after the last encounter with brat it was the fact that he couldn't catch him that got him fired so this plan was faulty from the start minions singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall is a new truck bored scratching standard for the despicable me franchise you are so much kind of plain has a chain lock now that's what I call acting even if I believe Balthazar could disguise himself exactly like Lucy I could never believe he imitated her voice so perfectly also this reveal is one of the most brain twisting logic problems we've ever encountered in a movie how did he even get here especially this fast I guess he could have been disguised as Lucy here when Lucy saved them from the spikes but I'd ask why bother and if he used a helicopter from his own lair there should have been another helicopter waiting at Drew's mansion when they landed because the idea that he could have flown to Drew's stole his helicopter and back to his own lair in time as monumentally silly especially since he didn't know drew existed five minutes ago the plane they're currently in is the same plane GRU and his family arrived on so he didn't use that to get here so what the movie I mean even more [ __ ] right I guess if Balthazar snuck in overpowered Lucy and stole her identity she could assume he took the girls but there's no way of knowing that since she was tied up in the closet the whole time so were the minions flying to Freedonia but they didn't know that's where GRU and company are goddamn this movie has no sense of where people and creatures are okay so how the [ __ ] did GRU know where Balthazar would remember Balthazar took off Andrews plane then showed up to Hollywood inside a giant evil brat which means he had to go back to his lair to get that then he spent the rest of the time underwater from wherever his lair is to Hollywood and crew should have no idea where he was also where the things in this world they go from Miami to Freedonia to Hollywood to wherever the [ __ ] they want like it's a trip to the local grocery store I see this episode he's going to bubblegum the whole city and set it up at the space I saw this episode too it was called age of Ultron people taking selfies in front of really dangerous cliche wait I thought this bubble gum was sticky so Lucy should be going absolutely nowhere in this scene all these missiles make a direct hit on the giant robot which must have all been set to mildly inconvenience brat fell from his perch by the Hollywood sign so how is he able to continue to laser this circle he's basically at sea level oh good guess but how does GRU know that this was Drew's doing he passed out from the fall before drew even got close to the robot when archeologists dig up the sedimentary layer we're all buried under ten thousand years from now they're going to find way too many movies from this era that somehow end with a humorous dance fight great I went through this whole movie just to see a being carried away by a giant bubble long hanging from his ball sack I'm back on the job no villainy tonight Ruby had time to show us a minion prison montage but that's no time to show us how GRU and Lucy got their jobs back but it's not waking anyone else in the neighborhood up somebody's got to keep the family tradition alive through an unappealing character from start to finish is supposed to be the villain in Despicable Me 4 count me out so close I could almost touch it would you like some of my chips it's like you're dreaming about gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly free time I present you with big to confirm my engagement to your doctor with all respect I thought this was America you got fired no no no no that guy little card that guy Luke oh don't and now it's your turn [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] brick killed a guy

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 8,202,109

Rating: 4.8577323 out of 5

Keywords: mistakes, despicable me, despicable me 3, wave jockey job, eww, everything wrong with, review, cinema sins, movie, cinemasins

Id: lERhNXw6FaQ

Length: 17min 11sec (1031 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 28 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/ROBOT_B9]

I think that I Hate Everything said it best...Illumination really is one of the worst animation companies out there. They just make the blandest, most banal cartoons ever.

Also, you should add some extra sins for the movie stealing the country name of Freedonia from Duck Soup. I'm almost ashamed to see The Marx Brothers's genius even remotely related to this movie.

[u/sunnymentoaddict]

Three videos in one week! It's a Christmas miracle!

[u/[deleted]]

Here lies the dignity of Steve Carell, may it Rest In Peace. Boom roasted.

[u/TheDynamicDino]

I actually really liked the original, and thought the second was even better. I can't support their decision to make a third though.

This is money-grabbing trash, like everything else they put out. Except maybe the Lorax, which I thought was a faithfully Seussian extension of a classic book.

[u/[deleted]]

1 billion dollars for this? While something more deserving like Captain Underpants underperforms?

[u/blitzkraft]

I expected the "Onions" billboard would get sinned. May be a 100 times for being stupidly meta/redundant.

[u/1Glitch0]

To be fair, if I was two years old I'd love these movies.

By the age of four I was laughing at the sarcasm of Ghostbusters.