Everything Wrong With Shrek 2 In 18 Minutes Or Less

and every time I think about it go to school also the premise of Pixar's Up was surprisingly inspired by the stream works logo in a Shrek movie once upon a time in a kingdom far far away once upon a time please Sharon her reading until the Sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment Prince Charming got the revised copy of the story Shrek was reading in the outhouse at the beginning of the last film because this is the exact same story only with extra details they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower there to await the kiss of the handsome prince charming Eden for a fairy tale this sounds like the worst plan ever instead of simply keeping the princess somewhere close fairy godmother and her parents decide to put Fiona in some remote castle with a [ __ ] dragon travelling for many days and nights risking life and limb to reach the Dragons this is just me or is it creepy that the Prince traveled all this way just to get it on with a woman he doesn't even know even though he's on a mission I mean I don't we're a long way from tinder but this is pretty [ __ ] desperate what why the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] living this far away in the castle wasn't there a happy ending in Shrek where all the animals could live in the forest again also nice pork Illustrated joke but this is taking a lot of ham to a sexual extreme that I didn't know existed until I saw it in this kids movie also also I know prince charming is self-absorbed and this journey is super long but how did he not hear about Fiona's marriage to Shrek I mean not one [ __ ] told this guy about the ogre who married the princess back in whatever time this is eight millimeter cameras existed probably Nicholas Cage too maybe I'm in love think about it every time I think about it sure it's not as objectionable as Smash Mouth song star but Counting Crows is the best you can do movie its 2004 was actually Simpson not available this image conjures up way more scarce than I think is intended Hansel loved Hansel and Gretel Fame opened up a gingerbread house for romantic getaway as in the place where Hansel and Gretel nearly got eaten by a witch and you're telling me after this incident that he experienced with his sister he said man and I would be a great place for a honeymoon on a Turner and was Little Red Riding Hood doing in a honeymoon hideaway anyway does she have an arrangement with one of the couples and knocked on the wrong door does she think her grandma married the woodsman Mike Myers inadvertently invents a new category on pornhub called Oguri how did the ocean pull off this trick and why did this mermaid harlot start immediately kissing trekt when she was thrown into it and does feel I really think I mermaid wanted to Trek I'm so confused movie goes a long way to make a Lord of the Rings reference with no pay off there are still [ __ ] trying to kill Shrek and Fiona even after the revelations in the last movie movie is unable to hold in a fart joke for more than five minutes with a moon this big total eclipses should occur way more frequently and last longer than two minutes we're supposed to believe these trumpet players walked the entire way from far far away to shrek swamp a distance that will be nauseatingly recreated in the next scene the king will bestow his royal blessing upon you and your prince charming why would this dude continue this message in the first movie everyone was freaked out by ogres and in this one they're still getting chased by pitchfork wielding villagers don't you think they might be a bit shocked to see you like this why would they how did nobody hear about the wedding in the last movie you know the wedding where some sort of magical pixie fairy dust change Fiona into an ogre forever even in these times the news would have spread faster than this but they're my parents Shrek they love me they love you so much they put you in a [ __ ] castle thousands of miles away guarded by a dragon and only by the luckiest of circumstances could you ever be turn they just want to give you their blessing now I need their blessing laughs Jesus what was the point of the first movie of tricks just gonna reboot to being a sandy butthole so he can learn to open up again we are not going and that's final good to see that this joke was still very old back in 2004 the big bad wolf can just appear wherever he wants even though he was a thousand miles away the last time we saw him this song originally titled off was written by Nile Rodgers after being denied entrance to studio 54 and Mike Byers played Steve rebelled in the movie about studio 54 all this to say this is the only interesting pop-culture reference in this movie and I'm 99% certain it was unintentional oh yeah it's easy for me to say this goes on for some time because this are we there yet goes on forever so because it's an over long joke wrapped loosely by a cliche i'ma add five cents also if I didn't live through it you would have never convinced me that this movie made nearly a billion dollars worldwide and was once the third highest-grossing film of all time agony no in-flight movie and nothing I would like donkey to explain where in this world flight movies and in-flight movies exist seriously this movie is freaking 82 minutes without counting the credits I convinced the initial cut was 23 before they started out and like this the kingdom of far far away has a burger prince but it's tucked away behind a whole bunch of other shops someone forgot to tell these [ __ ] about the importance of location location location apparently Rapunzel and Cinderella live in the same goddamn place who's the princess in this town anyway seriously this news has never made it here and I know it's far far away but give me a [ __ ] break you know the one that changed into an ogre every night and we sent to a castle thousands of miles away yeah I guess that's easy to forget they were so certain that Fiona had married Prince Charming and broke the curse how do they send the proper invite to shrek swamp I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children listen if the movie continues to pad its runtime with overlong silliness like this I will continue to send that it's great okay well for his type yes this movie could have been some really subversive Fiona had stayed a human princess perhaps a fun take on guess who's coming to dinner but it sold out this couple in order to make more fart jokes was this dinner with a full Turkey a lobster a giant fish and a pig really meant for four people even if two of them are ogres but gone home for anachronism I voted for anachronisms back in 2000 56 this movie is going too far let's go Kyle why does fairy godmother need a flying carriage to get where she's going and didn't she show up - Fiona's balcony riding a bubble from space nothing just the old Crusades wound playing up a bit Shrek franchise continues its pattern of allowing people within earshot to hear conversations only if it's convenient to the plot also this is a fairy tale set in a completely different universe but the Crusades also happened in their world Oh what's you you remember my son Prince Charming Charlie only Prince Charming is fairy godmothers son how the [ __ ] did they piss up after I enjoyed blistering winds King desert mummy can handle this he and yours blistering winds and scorching desert this movie in a nutshell do something then have somebody repeat that something then fart or have donkey do something annoying some gender-confused wolf that's two thousand forest I mean it wasn't my fault he didn't get there in toss how long did it take Prince Charming to go on this journey I mean in the first movie Shrek was reading a book about Fiona a time to go to farquaad's castle then went all the way back to where fiona was locked up brought her back married her and went on a honeymoon before Prince Charming got close to saving her Herald you forced me to do something I really don't want to do hmm oh this is a setup - fairy godmother going off her diet to eat at some fast-food restaurant but clearly her hired muscle thought it was time to beat up the king here the director said let's make this tavern sign a bite out of an apple it'll make it look like even more of an [ __ ] man they dragged poor Tom Waits into this didn't they did they hear that there's only one fella can handle a job like that where could I find him I know the king has a personal stake and getting Fiona together with Prince Charming why is he doing all this himself he's the [ __ ] king doesn't he get a mountain that can handle this why - Shrek wears socks when he goes to bed isn't used to being in a small barefoot [Music] heels are on the soundtrack quality ratio of the music to the movie is approaching Purple Rain status even though her alter ego is an ogre looking being Fiona's parents bought her a terrifying ogre toy when she was a kid Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow that's a good joke but what she really called Sleeping Beauty when she was a kid and do all the fairy tale princesses live in the same era I just really need to make things work with this guy but what you really need to be doing is making that Scottish accent reappear really starting to think that the script for this movie was like 13 original lines and the rest was just references to other better movies Mike Myers character gets hit in the balls example 392 also movie confirms the fact that augers have testicles in the same place as human which is a question I didn't realize I had with the Mike Myers connection you're just the cat and a hat to me what do you reckon we should do with him I see we take the sword neuter him right here give him the Bob Barker treatment I truly want to know what kind of life donkey lives where he knows about stuff like inflight movies Shirley Bassey and Bob Barker if the world these [ __ ] live in is one by which they have to ride a horse-drawn carriage to go somewhere then knowledge of Bob Barker proves they're travelling stupidly are you it was nothing Puss in Boots is apparently such a badass that he's the one guy with a reputation of being an ogre killer he's defeated by Shrek picking him up by the back of the [ __ ] neck dammit this movie's stupid I just I just wish I could make her happy we're supposed to feel sympathy for Shrek here but all he's done in this relationship is boss Fiona around actively ignore what she's saying and read her diary while she was sleeping so I'm saying that sympathy until it's actually earned think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you I don't know maybe hard to find a copy of The Adventures of Pluto Nash out here Jesus Christ the logic in this movie this is supposed to be Fiona's fairy godmother you're saying she appears for anyone that cries in the entire world I'm either away from my desk or with a client but if you come by the office yeah all we need to do is show you a picture of the office and you'll be able to find it hard to believe that a fairy godmother with this kind of power wasn't able to just turn Fiona into an all-day human with the soup a little bit of magic charming would have married her none of this would have happened Cinderella lived happily ever after yeah but in the last wreck which was apparently only a couple of months ago according to this movie Cinderella was still available so how did this story get written so fast this fools anyone us do you think you could get to those on top how to Shrek no what any of these do let alone whether the ones on the top work on his particular problem don't stool softener oh yeah you're right I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problem if the writers at these movies had a say in it they would the guy with the Hat has to grab his hat before the door closes because Indiana Jones did it that one time cliche these people are so bad at shooting I'm shocked donkey doesn't make a stormtrooper reference shrek is a big lumbering ogre but displays some crouching tiger-hidden dragon moves out of nowhere he will rue the day he stole my kingdom from me the script of these movies have notes in the margins that say when in doubt do something involving gas or poop remember your Georgia of the jungle training man is don't feel right donkey weights to object to this plan until after they've gone to the factory broken in stole the potion and made their escape I think you grabbed us how do you have a proportion have I mentioned this movie made nearly a billion dollars why does the mushroom turn into a rose instantly but Shrek and Donkey don't turn into their hands themselves until later give me an that they're bigger so it takes longer but either this is a magic potion god damn it maybe goes for that sweet Sanford and sons nostalgia that drove kids wild back in 2004 it was a mistake to bring Shrek here I'm gonna go out and find him and then we're gonna go back to the swamp where we belong I guess she made this decision while thinking about her love for Shrek over the course of the day even though she hasn't seen him since their unresolved argument last night and the only thing she's discovered is that he abandoned her after reading her diary I know it's a happily ever after potion and Shrek and Fiona 'he's love tied them together over space and time like interstellar and I'm completely fine with that but if it requires two people in love to work why would it turn a mushroom into a rose and why wasn't the potion have some sort of crossover effect between Shrek donkey and the mushroom and if donkey changes into a stallion why doesn't turn dragon into a filly or Catherine the Great taught round buttocks I'm I'm gorgeous I'll say damn these milkmaids are so horned up that they'll hit on the first dude that passes out in their barn to make the effect of this potion permanent the drinker must obtain his true love's keys by midnight what it should be potion if it has these kind of rules I mean the potion affected Fiona without her even drinking it shouldn't that already be proof of true love without a [ __ ] kiss oh you poor creature so we're talking animals common in this world this [ __ ] literally in a horse-drawn carriage where the horses are acting like regular horses but he runs into a talking one and doesn't bat an eyelash shrek knows exactly where Fiona's room is and fiona came directly from there so why wouldn't they just run into each other also fairy godmother somehow knew that Fiona would yell Shrek would hear the scream and run after her they'd miss each other running through the castle and he'd come running into this room allowing her to switch shrek with Prince Charming before she can see him also how did fairy godmother know that Shrek would take the potion before getting back to the castle setting up these shenanigans Shh you baby I could be Antonio Banderas is the best thing about this movie I fear it is me how in the everliving Fionna and not know what Prince Charming looks like it's not like fairy godmother kept him hidden all these years hoping she'd be able to do this switcheroo and she wrote all about him in her diary if you really love her you'll let her go wait she [ __ ] let him go I mean he could have said anything to get out of the room then walked right back up to Fiona and won her back right Jesus the silly conflicts this movie throws in for no reason or maddening you just and this cover of Jeff Buckley's hallelujah sounds Oh can't believe you're gonna just walk away from the best thing that ever happened to you what choice do I have what you could even tell Fiona about the mix-up and let her decide crazy right yeah she's uh in the back luckily for Shrek and crew the King has unfinished business with fairy godmother taking place in this seedy tavern of all places so that they can get vital plot details this goofy sign says no skin no bones no service in an earlier bar scene there were clearly a couple of ents hanging out which have neither if you're gonna do silly do it consistently movie half Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses why didn't you just give her this potion in the first place since the other potion only works with true love's kiss why did you even chance this thank you mother movie again abandons what could be an exciting chase scene because we don't have time for that but we do have time for a big fart montage at the beginning of the movie and Prince Shrek it oh my movie saves animation time and resources by using the actual Joan Rivers you mean there's still kids how does Hansel run a successful gingerbread honeymoon hideout at this age they might pass me a buffalo wing I can believe in magic and monsters and spells and potions but I refuse to believe that this gingerbread man can fully consume a chicken wing tonight nice cop spoof that just happens to feature Shrek and company getting arrested shows up conveniently so that these dicks can save Shrek not only is this commercial that shows every aspect of the arrest bulletin but the ability of medieval TV producers to edit live video for broadcast that night is total nonsense too wait Shrek and Donkey raced off from the bar with fairy godmother in hot pursuit who is you know magic so why and how did the [ __ ] village Knights need to get involved that said no mine oh god damn this movies never seen a cheap joke it won't make be surprised how much I change for your mother change he's completely lost his mind let's back up a second all we've seen is Fiona talking to Prince Charming one time and yes things were a little off but we haven't seen any other interaction between these two that would sell the fact that Prince Charming makes a horrible Shrek how did these guys find Shrek's exact prison cell because it's also lucky that there's a skylight in this thing - also isn't this high up in the castle how did they get all the way up here they blew the top off the dungeon without anyone hearing by the way but where did they get the key to the shackles damn it spend some time on some logic movie any logic what shrek gets the totally insane idea that the muffin man can build a giant gingerbread man that will help them storm the castle and it turns out he's right by the way was there ever any explanation as to how the gingerbread man got his light back the movie doesn't show is the giant gingerbread man smashing up the four muffin man's house after he agreed to this stupid plan yeah I'm glad this movie didn't get made past the year 2008 or else we would've had DreamWorks looking for a gingerbread man versus Pillsbury Doughboy franchise throw in the Jolly Green Giant and Mothra while you're at it forcible frenching fairy godmother decides to shoot some sort of spill that went to the 300 school of slow motion ins wait a minute if the spell the fairy godmother shot towards Shrek bounced off the king's armor then how did it change him into a frog ah after potion midnight the second that the clock hits midnight it's midnight not after the bells chime twelve times is this what you want to be this way forever it's not so much what she wants but what the studio and the people paying to see Shrek movies want as I see the exact same transformation that I saw in the last movie I just had a thought smoothy is no different from the original it's about Fiona accepting who shrek is denying another prince a chance to marry her and changing into an ogre in the end with a few extra characters sprinkled it at this point the song had been out for five [ __ ] years and as fun as it is everyone had heard it on the radio and at a million weddings parties bar mitzvahs and quinceañeras yet here comes a dance montage to keep pouring salt on her wounds haha you thought mid-credits scenes were a marvel creation but Shrek's the real culprit for this cultural abomination great now I'm gonna be thinking all day about how a donkey gets his penis into a dragon vagina what about you are you asses rodents of unusual size well don't stop when you go to the basement keep straight on give my regards to the earth tour you must tie her down on a bed and spank her you must fight her well and after you have spanked her you may deal with her as you like Donald's recycling permits we have reports of an unidentified flying object it is a long smooth shaft complete with two balls I suppose of the grandchildren I could expect from you would be ogres not that there's anything wrong with that no of course not please call me Dad hey doing dad I'm doing fine come on Charlie oh wait are we in gold your mother Holle and waited there will you try one of her bras on you we go hello do we yeah very nice last night sometimes I saw her when I'm drunk top round buttocks I'm I'm I'm human again only human again poised and polished and dreaming with charm I'm free I'm free dang it

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 7,114,218

Keywords: mistakes, review, cinemasins, wave jockey job, eww, everything wrong with, shrek, shrek 2, cinema sins, movie

Id: W8D6dnIzMhc

Length: 18min 57sec (1137 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 05 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/ROBOT_B9]

It's amazing how quickly Shrek fell out of favour. It seemed like the franchise was going to last forever and was everywhere then, poof, it's nothing more than a joke.

Ooh, fancy Sin Counter 2.0 graphics.

[u/MartiniPhilosopher]

Just a quick note that it wouldn't be a vagina if dragons are reptilian in nature. It would be a cloaca. Which is good because I don't know that I'd be up for explaining why certain parts of the screen are constantly pixelated out when the dragon shows up.

[u/Castriff]

I don't know about this new Sin Counter 2.0 guy. He's got a crazy-looking font. The old Sin Counter came to work looking professional, dammit!

Also, dang, this movie is way worse than I remembered.

[u/Flynn_The_Fox]

Could just be the nostalgia talking but he seemed way too harsh on this movie

[u/bollebo]

the sin counter isn't even buried yet and they replaced him already have some respect for the fallen

[u/yoimjoe]

I'm pretty sure that the "I'm coming Elizabeth!" joke was actually a reference to The Haunted Mansion (2003) in which Eddy Murphy tries to save his wife Elizabeth. He says that exact line in the exact way..

[u/AfricanRain]

oh boy this triggered me, I love this movie

[u/DankWarMouse]

Gotta be honest, was not a fan of this episode. I'm not even a big fan of Shrek or anything but this video seemed needlessly harsh in a way that just didn't come off as funny or clever. I get the whole exaggerated critic gag but I don't think it alone is enough to qualify as humorous.

For example, repeatedly sinning the anachronistic and meta humor is just sorta redundant, and some of the sins felt written far too long for the amount of substance/comedy they were offering. Doubling down on the airplane movie line is a good example of what I mean. Also felt the commentary like "God this movie sucks" was definitely inserted way too often.

Just trying to give constructive feedback here, still love you guys but this episode leaned way too much on the overly negative observations for my taste.

[u/dumahim]

Am I missing something or did the new sin counter fail on the first sin? You had one job!