Everything Wrong With Ratatouille In 15 Minutes Or Less

we French know the truth the best food in the world is met in Homs Franco philic propaganda is scored by an overture about Russia's victory over the French army confused yet also animal narration first of all I'm a rat which means life is hard that's rat system I have a highly developed sense of taste and smell but what is it that led to Remy's nose being so good it can't be his love of food alone it has to be a genetic reason or explanation right turns out that funny smell was rat poison suddenly dad didn't think my talent was useless I agree that it was sudden it was only 30 seconds ago that you were telling me about your talent and your dad not respecting it now here we are and yes that was fast we gotta cook this now exactly how we cook this is the real question where are the rats only hanging around this warm house is it really enough to sustain an entire colony how the hell is this one elderly woman producing so much garbage you think that maybe we shouldn't be so mother nature goes could easily and these rats get blasted off a roof and into the plot propelling situation also holy they survived that she's gonna wake up these guys tasted a thing and then decided it needed only saffron to be perfect then realized this lady had saffron I think then decided to steal her saffron so they could experience the perfect bite and honestly this convoluted reasoning is flimsier than most Bugs Bunny cartoons you read not sure if I should be more shocked at Remy reading or the brother only just now realizing Remy can read or even knowing what reading is and the duck a hot head chef died shortly afterwards he got his first bad review then literally died from it how sensitive was this dude I've gotten hundreds of thousands of bad reviews a few dozen hate mails and two separate hand-drawn maps leading me to dangerous locations but none of them has caused me to die as sadness somehow pulling the trigger on this gun opens the umbrella that's stuck in the barrel because movie frequently forgets out of physics also seriously the sight of a couple rats causes granny to immediately reach for the shotgun she'd rather destroy her house at a rain of fire than say grab a broom Dan this old lady gun stores more impossible shells than an action movie villain if these rats were all living in this woman's attic before now that was not made clear so Remy felt his dish needed saffron and he robbed the old lady's house for which caused a chain reaction that led to the entire rat clan being washed away all the way to Paris and none of that has ever addressed again the movie wanted to get everyone to Paris and decided to show it to us but it meant nothing no one is mad at Remy when they meet up later on everyone adjusts fine to Paris I suppose the old lady was snatched up by the e u--'s version of Medicaid and was probably lost or killed via negligence but this whole opening is pretty meaningless how the hell is that book readable after taking that long-ass trip in the storm sewer my copy of Fifty Shades of Grey was ruined after I walked through the ring for one block holy did movie just seriously yada-yada this confrontation at gunpoint is this a regular occurrence in Paris man Francis weird the sequence of the camera following Remy as he explores Paris is awesome really worthy of a sin removal but it makes me wonder how the hell Remy knows exactly where to go at all times when I'm ever stopping to see which way to turn all this time underneath Harris movie inadvertently writes the most salacious Gilmore Girls fan fiction ever also luckily for Remy on the plot he emerged directly on a perfect view of the city to confirm his location I mean it's better than an obvious title card but still to Stowe's you've led me to your restaurant lottery odds I mean here is a rat that loves Gusteau's cookbooks and suddenly finds himself swept into Paris and right to the doorstep of Gusteau's and this is so unrealistic that Justice League must a scheme sent a congratulatory fruit basket I was my mother she died that's right kids we've killed off two characters in the first 20 minutes of this movie Jesus even died hard didn't have this body count so soon you've read my book left to see how much you know huh which one easy shape this entire scene of Remy identifying all the various kitchen workers all very important is purely expositional later on this ghost is gonna tell Remy he's not real and Remy is talking to himself so he's just proving to himself here how smart he is but mostly he's letting the audience know movie notwithstanding it takes a kitchen full of employees ignoring an entire station for several minutes in order for this magical plot propelling soup to even begin to get made in the first place which is even more damning since Remy pointed out that this was a saucier his workstation where does saucier go huh extended cigarette break no wait this is France also linguini grabs this piping hot pot of soup with no ill effects I guess he does have talent in the kitchen I mean I could say this at virtually any point in this movie but how do all these [ __ ] not notice this obvious rat and a scene gets dangerously close to a bad Tom and Jerry episode some rat dude all and Queenie did was add some water garlic and leeks to the soup so why is it immediately nauseating without so this act is meaningless even more so for rats than humans rats carry the plague guys he dumps that entire container of broth into his soup without any spills or issues even though the movie already showed this soup was nearing the top of its container and would definitely overflow if a gallon of broth were poured on it what are you playing act I'd like to point out that this guy is basically the primary villain in this movie but even he just immediately admits and accepts at this soup is wrath and a true [ __ ] would have called it disgusting and refused to ever let Lin Greene cook again instead this guy knows the super rules but he can't accept the fact that linguini cooked it because he didn't this guy gets a bad rap I'm sending this movie for not making this villain more villainy also I'm pretty sure a simple security camera would solve almost all this movies conflict saucier would get fired for abandoning his station and linguini would keep his job as garbage boy once everyone saw the rat was the one that messed with the soup done and done this is a modern movie right and one of the most famous high-end expensive restaurants in Paris but no cameras not even to safeguard the expensive wines and other high-end ingredients responsibly I guess linguini trained at the esteemed Mario Batali culinary school it's this how you keep a restaurant at four stars there's literally only a swinging Dumbledore separating you and the customers and you are screaming wait when did he punch a triangular air hole in this lid and why and does he just carry a can opener on his person at all times have you been nodding Remi can understand English but he can't speak and we're all speaking English even though were in Paris movie yada-yada is over the solution to the language barrier here so hard that even six-year-olds came out asking their parents what the hell was going on I can't cook Canha awesome so we've immediately undermined the central premise of the movie by determining our secondary protagonist is unable to do what gusto says anyone can do hey they like the soap they like the soup linguini fell into the goddamn Seine River survived it found the jar that Remi was in rescued him and climbed out of the Seine in record time why can't we see that story this uncoordinated asshat keeps losing jobs and can't do anything and has no money and lives this tiny cramped apartment and you expect me to believe he takes up valuable kitchen shelf space with a goddamn soccer ball okay back the beep beep beep this whole apartment has this view and this failure of a citizen can afford it good thing they both got a good night's sleep last night instead of trying to figure out any sort of plan for pulling off the ruse today we ate the soup take as much time as you need oh we couldn't Skinner just a man the recipe or if he wanted to keep linguini honest wouldn't just stand here and watch him make it this is the culinary version of a Bond villain leaving him to die without doing it himself no one overhears linguini screaming at the top of his lungs about the rat he brought into the restaurant and before you say that he's in the walk-in and it would be soundproof I'll remind you the Jack Torrance was able to easily communicate with multiple people outside of it in the shiny I'm just familiarizing myself with vegetables what'd I get you know this is actually a pretty good adult joke suddenly thrown into a kid's movie but it also means that at some point Skinner definitely stuck a cucumber up his ass the whole rest of the movie kind of hinges on this but this is a bullet if something suddenly pulled two strands of your hair the last thing you would do is raise both arms in unison with said hair strands this takes so long to learn I'm surprised it's not snowing outside already fun gratulations you were able to repeat your accidental success this is verbatim what my college girlfriend said to me after our second time having sex gusto makes Chinese bored GI I haven't seen marketing this blatantly racist since H&M s last campaign also I never understood this just because he became head chef at this restaurant and even if he owns the restaurant how did gusto dying transfer the gusto lightness rights to this offer there are only two way to get first pick Oh Giselle accidentally witness loosens we deal tell then chef linguini has prepared something special and falls endless I'm saying definitely off menu I mean I know Skinner's trying to get linguine in trouble but he's throwing the entire restaurant under the bus to do it and why would he want him out anyway his lawyer just told him it's better to keep an eye on him while he's on the staff okay I've held it in as long as I can the wait Brad Bird greets Linguini's physical comedy is perfection and it's worth two sins off dammit look I'm sure this is a great dish but the entire restaurants gonna order the same thing just based on looks it looks like a goddamn pancreas covered in a brown sauce it's kind of amazing rummy shadow hasn't betrayed him before now it is the City of Lights what I can't believe is that Remmy is anywhere near the colony considering the sewer split up just after I left the countryside so there would be no way they'd both end up in Paris especially anywhere near each other Remmy he's just now stealing what about all that linguini gave him for dinner you ever had the fat fried snow did you work in the lab right no I was linguini this cool if I'm keeping his secret he's a wreck in the best of circumstances and if he's drunk he would totally spill the beans hey why did they call it that blot ratatouille roll rodents I am deeply and truly offended by these musical instruments come with me I got something I want you to see you better come take a look at this cliche what kind of shop would advertise their rat traps with actual dead and rats hanging in the window is this an effective strategy like the customers walk by and say well I was just gonna let those fellows live but I guess if those traps are that good I've gotta bite one also is this really an entire store that dedicated to killing rats this works even while he's sleeping even in a movie about an English understanding Michelin star worthy rat chef in Paris this linguine doesn't wake up crap is asking too much of my suspension of disbelief you're hard to talk to you you don't have to talk at all if you're that committed to telling Colette the truth just take off your [ __ ] hat awesome glad to see this badass female chef eventually fall for a forced kiss seriously maybe you could have left this love story out with no difference to the overall movie I realize you have a little coffin imagery going on and that's fun but who would build a room like this there's nothing on any of these side walls but sound reducing panels there's no functional reason for the size or shape of this office which suggests the character just left coffins and wanted a coffin office and that takes the fun out of the imagery much like the way I take the fun out of movies rat with hair and linguini with willpower fight over the use of his arm I originally wrote that as a description of the footage somewhere editors would know what I wanted here but then I realized it perfectly summed up why this is stupid and annoying I mean does linguini not realize that his hat fell off does he not care I know he's in love and but he also knows that Remi is the sole reason for success hey Rebbe are you doing the entire movie has been telling us that the rat clan doesn't give a [ __ ] about what they eat and that Remi was the only outlier so why would there be a big demand from the other rats about trying ramiz food microwave burritos or to a second chicken you know a 15% of this movie is Remi talking to figments of his imagination why would when Queeny be filed with your will this used to be my office classic not answering the question you know when you get down to it right - doing is just an expanded episode of those are you the dad episodes on mooring it takes this long for a motorized scooter to catch up with a goddamn rat but why not just stay on the roof there's no way for Skinner to get up there and this is a boat it's really nowhere to go I know this is an interesting story but it's the ownership of a local restaurant really dominating front-page news how about promoting the dock worker strike that seems important why the hell wouldn't Remi just ask linguine for the food for his family he's the new owner now right they could supply the whole clan for very little overhead I find her being a terrible floppy awkward skater and linguine aka pratfall Jones being smooth as butter on skates to be one of this movie's biggest and most insulting reaches some part of me just knew the gusto part Remi will now grab a tuft of hair on the left side of Linguini's body but it will cause Linguini's right arm to make a movement this is probably done because the right hand happens to be on the left side of his body right now and it makes more visual sense to the viewer this way but it's definitely wrong as far as how the movie has shown this dork I will return tomorrow night with high expectations why do you give linguini the heads up isn't the whole thing with food critics that they sneak up on you I thought they even wore disguises and you're stealing food how could you I thought you were my friend geez how many times we have to see the characters fight over a contrived reason before the movies climax cliche Solan queen he's having nightmares about egos visit because you know he and the rat are on the outs and somehow despite having physically done all the acts of cooking and watching it all with his eyeballs he apparently never picked up any actual know-how tell him to hit me with his best shot never a good look for a critic to set his opinion prior to experience and the thing he's here to critique this would be like Leonard Maltin strolling into a screening of Ant Man and the wasp barking out oh let's get this over with I would have whatever he is having um this disguise and fake voice would not fool a single person that works here at the restaurant where this guy was the boss for a long time how does this get solved if the car isn't conveniently parked under several freestanding gargoyles I realize France has a lot of gargoyles compared to America at least but goddamn are they everywhere these are the most convenient gargoyles ever and Disney made a movie with gargoyles that were sentient I seriously think Betty Crocker has a solid copyright infringement case against the publishers of Gusteau's cookbook they use blue instead of red and added some fleur-de-lis but in terms of design elements it's an open-and-shut case holy the students of raw as deal in this movie getting punished just for doing his job he's treated worse than David Paymer in Ocean's thirteen maybe the rats will break a slot machine or something as compensation at the end of the movie cute visual but again the problem with rats in the kitchen isn't literal dirt its disease in bacteria but whatever this moment is the best of Pixar encapsulated pure joy for the character translates as pure joy for the viewer see illumination you don't have to rely on fart jokes in a kid's movie once and off the following day his review appears Jesus he was there until after closing no way a dude that old works on a deadline that early in anyways the work of a critic is easy damn this is our third narrator in this movie we thrive on negative criticism which is found to write and read dude just unknowingly wrote our mission statement well we had to let Skinner in the health inspector loose and somehow never encountered any legal or ethical issues for abusing and imprisoning them haha what a ripping good yarn that abduction story is ha ha ha which one would you like surprised me and rats were never considered vermin again and swarmed into kitchens around the world the end I got this read this knowing GED all right what I say is true it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again pure poetry that without looking and humbled into the Sun yeah my baking tastes good porkchops taste good Hey sewer rat meat tastes like pumpkin pan but I never know cuz I wouldn't need to fill him up just make me fail your pile in a sadness Bowl that's what I want chill dad gave me a job why am I the poop checker dreaming salty sweet and oaky nuttiness it was jammy plumbing dense and chewy as a cinema since van you clearly know a thing or two about high-quality entertainment thought have you ever considered working in the entertainment industry a job in entertainment is about what you know and who you know at Full Sail you'll not only gain knowledge and hands-on experience but you'll also connect with other students and successful grants full sale is committed to hands-on education that means going beyond sitting in a classroom and flipping through a technical it means putting yourself in real-world scenarios because that's how you learn the skills you'll actually use on the job you can study online or attend their sunny Florida campus best of all Full Sail offers accelerated degree programs the sooner you graduate the sooner you'll get a chance to kickstart your career and put your education to work full sales specializes in entertainment media technology and the arts this blend has produced a community of inspired and creative people who push each other to do amazing things Full Sail grants helped engineer kendrick lamar's latest record animates Steven Spielberg's latest movie and design the latest 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Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 9,783,636

Keywords: eww, wave jockey job, movie, cinemasins, mistakes, everything wrong with, review, cinema sins, ratatouille, brad bird

Id: r5Kd7ltWS9w

Length: 16min 48sec (1008 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 12 2018