Everything Wrong With Coraline In 15 Minutes Or Less

have you ever wondered if there was a magical place where you could go to learn new skills from people that have said skills spoiler alert there is it's called skillshare and as luck would have it they're sponsoring this video so if you're the kind of person that wants to learn new things from people that know all about those things follow the link in the description the first 1000 people to click the link in the description will get a free trial of skillshare premium membership and after that it's only ten dollars a month but throw it in a new tab because you've gotta watch some sins first [Music] if you don't know what kind of movie you got your five-year-old into after the first minute of this thing you should have your parent card revoked i'm not saying some little kids wouldn't be into this but i am saying those little kids would either grow up to be psychopaths and or apple store employees also let's get this out of the way now before i start comedically ripping into this sucker this movie is gorgeous and the whole aesthetic is unique and cool as hell there i said it take a sin off before my skin crawls off my body damn it this is an impressive button collection to be sure but if you're the type of edward needle fingers to keep them this impressively displayed wouldn't you also sort them by color or size this poor bastard will always be known as the discount tim burton but given tim's output throughout the century so far it's clear he should be known as a discount henry selleck so this sit is for the system which keeps a good henry down while a questionable tim continues to get big budgets i hate to be the bearer of bad news but i think your new house may have a squatter movers it's good to see madame de la gran bouche is still getting work these days but this bit part is a waste of her immense talents she doesn't even get to sing why does this cat have no butthole everything else about this part of the movie is pretty realistically animated so the lack of a butthole is cripping me out almost as much as it did in the cats movie damn look at this landscape let's god this i'm just waiting for coraline to start busting out this is halloween this is halloween halloween halloween coraline does pretty good work here with her dousing rod creation but then completely botches it by not holding it with her palms facing upward movie doesn't know how to dousing rod correctly let me guess you're from texas or utah some place dried out and barren right that's texas you toxic i don't like being stopped not by psycho nerds or their cat i want a nice polite stalker that alerts me to his whereabouts via note every morning stationary selection is key here it must contain a raised texture and a frilly exterior anyway as for you get the [ __ ] out i'm from pontiac huh michigan if this were true she would immediately show the relative location of pontiac on her hand which looks like the state i'm not supposed to talk about it at least until the plot deems it necessary about 30 minutes from now coralline roll creepy credits oh i definitely heard someone why were you born damn coraline just met this dude he's been informative about the new house the location of the well and generally gracious after accidentally freaking her out at first so what gives with this insta-kill attitude mode for our supposed protagonist i almost failed in a well yesterday mom uh huh i would have died that's nice looks like we're getting straight to the disconnected and aloof parent cliche but here's the thing 95 of the things kids say are either unimportant or exaggerated coraline didn't really almost fall down a well you can blame the parents if you want but when you really think about it are kids really actually worth listening to it wasn't my fault you hit that truck i never said it was expositional arguing i know they just got here and that this is supposed to be a grungy gothy movie but what's up with this kitchen could they not have wiped down the cabinets or at least the sink it looks like this apartment was previously used as a meth lab some kid left this on the front porch talk about burying the lead if this housewife were so desperate to get rid of coraline wouldn't she give this gift to her at the start of this conversation and is she really cool with randos leaving the new girls strange packages out of nowhere littering coraline's dad is a hunting pecker and a spartan fan and honestly i'm not sure which is the more egregious sin what the hell cora you know you have poison oak all over your hands and you're spreading its contagion all over your dad's office doorknob i know he's being a little dismissive but you still like him right [Music] well did you knock first it may just be finishing up hey what's with all this filthy water i thought she just moved out of michigan left-handers coraline has written down that she saw 12 bugs but i counted at least 16. also triple exclamation pointing a word before the end of a sentence no no no no no this [ __ ] is an experienced author and it's the late aughts doesn't he know this auto saved or even if it's an old computer and doesn't have that option he should still know to hit ctrl s obsessively like the rest of us and also settle down man you had three lame paragraphs written on composting and your composition was atrocious she did you a favor collecting snow blue globes in a painfully boring painting coraline would be excellent at canvas since i don't know who covered up this tiny magic door but if all they used was a layer of wallpaper and a cardboard box they weren't trying too hard this mug miraculously changes position in consecutive shots so that we are sure to see the hilarious i heart mulch saying i mean seriously have you stopped laughing at will you stop pestering me if i do this for you i think my college girlfriend said to me when i brought home a watermelon a paper shredder and a pool noodle damn she's got a stuffed squid as a toy the hell is up with that i thought this was a neil gaiman story not alan moore yes i know coraline is peculiar but any tween that's awoken from a deep sleep by a rogue rodent would be screaming at the top of her lungs right now exploring a strange and possibly dangerous hole this has never worked out well for me hello coraline does other father really need the reading glasses if he's got the buttons for eyes other father is actually performing a they might be giants song here that was written specifically for the movie it's awesome now that might usually be a sit-off it turns out they might be giants was originally going to do the entire soundtrack for the movie but everything else was eliminated because of creative differences so creative people and the differences they rode in on any requests mango milkshake mango milkshake mango milkshake what kind of an abomination is a mango [ __ ] milkshake and why would a kid with very simplistic tastes even think to request this wretched beverage also you're getting your every desire here i wouldn't blame coraline if she actually decided to stay not like she even has to pull a cipher and sell anyone out but i'm your other mother i mean my other other mother rhetoric what's shaking baby let alone fact hasbro pulled their cat call line of talking stuffed alien toys in 2010 to this day no one knows why we're already here coraline gone to oregon so the adults are creepy and secretive the food appears out of nowhere and the photos talk to you did coraline just apparate into hogwarts helicopter parenting not for nothing but earlier yesterday coraline's mom told her that she had a lot to unpack her emphasis not mine but look at this room whatever she did have which isn't much is already on the shelves and there's not a box to be found miss pink enforceable but you said they're dingbats how long have they been in this apartment it really looks like they just moved in a day or so ago so how have they had time to form opinions of any of the neighbors especially when they're this focused on their catalogue i can buy that coraline has blue hair because she's a tween that would totally do that and her real parents look pretty normal as does wybie but nobody bats an eye that this [ __ ] is blue it looks like he's been dipped into a bad batch of an easter egg die here have beat make you strong prematurely dropping the beat but also beats i guess this is played for humor but i fail to see what's funny about this attempted ball smashing wait who suitcase is this and why didn't they take it inside last night before it started pouring rain how are it and its contents not ruined the series of vaguely adult voyeurism themed shakespeare adaptations doesn't exist drink up then go on imbibing a piping hot beverage this quickly and showing no ill effects oh caroline caroline caroline caroline you are in terrible danger protagonist is warned repeatedly about doing something potentially dangerous but still does potentially dangerous thing until she finally realizes it's potentially dangerously [ __ ] oh man with this much missed i'm afraid how this movie's gonna end i've been down this road before and that's dramatic you're just like them huh coraline plays the pronoun game to confuse this poor bastard enough that he actually considers comparing himself to a slug thinks it's dangerous or something dangerous jesus christ how many people need to tell you that this place is [ __ ] up coraline any kid would be dragging her family out of here by this point like that's on fire look i gotta go i only show up every half hour with another small piece of exposition before being conveniently called away before i let too much of the plot out you know just last night coraline was super suspicious of the other parents and didn't even want to eat or play games so why is she all jazzed up to go back into the hobbit hole oh those man-eating tulips are just totes and orbs hop on kiddo i want to show you something yo even if he looks kinda like your dad do not follow this instruction from a complete stranger holy they've obviously stumbled upon kevin mccallister's house in this alternate universe run kids oh sure just chat on this magical chicken poop corn without any permission or inkling about how the glow acorn is made mice even button world fantasy ones can't play trumpets they simply don't have the embouchure for it this hallucinatory mouse circus is somehow trippier than that entire sequence from dumbo where he gets all [ __ ] up and sees the pink elephants the whole school's gonna wear boring gray clothes no one will have these where the hell is coraline going to school julie but grade school's colors are gray on gray your school might be fun with those stupid uniforms yeah if there's one thing that grinds my gears about school it's when i don't like the uniforms i tell you they could have a bunch of dolores umbridge teachers as long as they let us wear attractive jumpsuits did mama jones want to hide this key it's in plain goddamn sight she were this nonchalant about coraline finding it why not just leave it in the kitchen drawer how do you feel about a mustard ketchup salsa wrap for lunch movie pretends like the condimentarito isn't a perfectly valid meal i eat what i want if you're the same cat how can you talk i just can oh you probably think this world is a dream come true but you're wrong i'm pretty sure this was the line from the 2016 inauguration speech isle of dogs look i love dogs too but if i walked into a goddamn magic symphony hall with a couple hundred of them staring me down with button eyes i'd get the [ __ ] out of there i don't care what the performance is and you thought you only had to explain the creepy parts to your kids after watching this movie try and rationalize why there's a big old pair of barely covered hooters showing up in a performance of which these two ladies specifically invited corellon i'm not saying mrs jones wasn't animated in proper proportions to a regular mom but i am saying the animators may have gotten some inspiration from the dimensions of elastigirl from the incredibles no way you're not throwing buttons in my eyes sure this is where cora draws the line in this weirdo fantasy world full of creepy critters and soulless sycophants her strength is our strength wait so other father isn't controlled enough to avoid spilling the beans but the sentient piano knows better how can you walk away from something and still come back to it neil gaiman's the matrix they say even the proudest spirit can be broken damn i haven't seen terry hatcher play a role this evil since sidra spitefully hooked up with sal bass from the health club i don't remember our names but i remember my true mommy this movie is a straight up nightmare factory and i don't think there should be factories for nightmares so she lured us away with treasures and treats and games to play i mean if you're gonna spend some time with child ghosts i guess you could do worse than the overly expositional kind that tell you the exact things you need to know to complete the rest of the story she locked us here and ate up our lives holy man and i thought our tax biting it in the neverending story was harsh on a young audience this is scaring the hell out of me for an omniscient villain that literally created this world the beldum sure isn't different about her soul prisoner possibly escaping oh the why be the talks jesus this dude's doppelganger literally just saved your life in the other world and this is your immediate reaction grandma's missing sister i think i just met her come on coraline puts the pieces of this mystery together like benoit and bonk despite having very little clue about what's actually going on in this situation caroline says her parents have vanished and rather than calling 9-1-1 or anything from her mom's perfectly functional cell phone coraline decided to confide in these two wackos how is hundred-year-old candy gonna help first of all this candy was labeled as 1921 so at the time of the movie it's not even 90 yet and rounding numbers up is for the weak minded coralon my mom must have told me that a thousand times second how would you even begin to know how old the candy is are you telling me you could read those tiny labels from across the room around miriam some proportions no seriously these [ __ ] may have been kidnapped maimed or murdered while they were over in fantasyland really don't want to call around like the area hospitals or anything cats hell got the ability to write legible sentences i was about providing a little more information about how you got here you know pretty sure this means seven years of bad career choices unfortunately you're going to have to do a few twilights a you a mcgregor passion project and a richer gear film the upside is that you eventually get to work with tarantino character accidentally drops an important tool they will need just to remind the audience it exists cliche you came back for us mom coraline has been shown to be a super smart cookie and she literally just got a warning from the cat about the beldum setting a trap what kind of out of character nonsense is this and the beldum decides to leave coraline alone in the room despite her already escaping once she might as well have dropped her into a tank full of ill-tempered sea bass you know it might be demonic animated bacon but it still looks goddamn delicious so these discount audrey's just happened to knock the cutting tools out of her bag to increase the tension but they are still just close enough to desperately crawl to because what sheer luck bless you miss you found me why isn't the beldum stepping in to make this at least a little more difficult that [ __ ] is evil but she's all about fair play when it comes to games don't worry i'm getting the hang of it i mean i guess so but if i had just learned how my special triangle worked you wouldn't be able to pull that thing away from me i'd have that thing up to my eye the entire time just in case have you never played a video game this may be a stupid question but why does everything in this other world turn into a nightmarish version of itself the longer coraline is here the belgium is shown to be able to make and appear like anything she wants so why would they change at all you think winning game is good thing the detroit alliance well that's just dom what was the best case scenario for this move someone needs a lesson in risk reward analysis is this the official timer for the game did they agree on a time limit at all and how would coralline know that's the case sure it's a cool visual but one [ __ ] line of dialogue would clear it up i think i mentioned that i don't like rats at the best of times deuce ex miyacona too bad you won't have this how did that burn so quickly it seemed like it was made out of solid quartz right and how did they destroy from the real world in the fake world anyway it's not even a real fire figures that the beldum banishes the joneses to a fate worse than death detroit glad she talked this over with the cat and made sure he was definitely okay with being thrown into the ghoulish parademon to do battle oh no you broke my favorite snow globe dude i know it's better to be with your real parents and all but mama jones is still a pretty terrible person mr b is not drunk mom he's just eccentric this is how i explain my behavior to my wife on most tuesday nights let's see the kid is tucked in the catalog sold with a cash advance and they probably had a few cocktails at dinner they're totally about to [ __ ] right if coraline has one superpower it's the ability to fall asleep immediately on command seriously has anyone chick this poor girl for narcolepsy you're in terrible danger girl at this point it would be much easier to count up the characters that haven't told coraline that she's in danger i don't care how supernatural it is that hand weighs maybe three ounces how the sh did it take down an entire human body damn it why would you put the key with the hand sure it's playing dead now but you've seen the beldum do some t1000 with the remains of its body parts throw that stuff into the wood somewhere why did you change your mind and more importantly why were you out here in the middle of the night at exactly the right time to save the day i'm glad you decided to stalk me stockholm syndrome you horrible cheating girl hey look at you overachiever you made it all the way to the end of this video your prize learning more about skillshare an online learning community with thousands of inspiring classes for creative and curious people explore new skills develop existing interests and get lost in creativity we all want to be more creative but have little understanding as to how to develop the skills skillshare classes not only allow you to learn from the experts but also helps you structure your time to achieve small attainable goals that add up they're like sins in a way on their own they seem petty but cumulatively they could get you sentenced to something bizarre and oddly specific my analogy fell apart there at the end but you get it as someone who fancies themselves a video person i recently enjoyed how to turn foul footage into a compelling video from penny lane the editor not the beatles she systematically goes through the best way to use other folks footage to create a compelling story are my results without sin no of course not but did i learn something most definitely do i like asking myself questions and then answering them yes everyone wants to learn new skills right right head to the link in the description to sign up and if you're one of the first thousand folks to click the link you'll get a free trial of skillshare premium membership and after that it's only ten dollars a month so what are you doing listening to me go click that link and sign up for skillshare they're real and they're spectacular i shall call him mini-me [Applause] another roll sweet peas corn on the cob ooh this is so scrumptious is this hand shocked the password the last mosquito that bit me had to book into the betty ford clinic friends whose tonight walks with murder shall break free innocent blood shall be spilt and servant and master shall be reunited once more did she do this to you is it the scars you want to know how i got them i'm not afraid anymore

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 1,705,376

Rating: 4.8908973 out of 5

Keywords: cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, movie review, parody, bloopers, commentary, cinemasins coraline, coraline, everything wrong with coraline, coraline review, coraline movie reaction, coraline book, coraline movie review, review, mistakes, animated movies, cinemasinssins, coraline soundtrack, coraline movie, eww coraline, coraline doll, coraline full movie, coraline scene, coraline 2009, coraline theory

Id: SwfwejLFk8U

Length: 17min 46sec (1066 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 27 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/SailorSaturn79]

THEY DID IT! Words cannot describe how excited I am for this video! I'm Patreon so I saw this last night. I think my favorite sin was when you said going to Detroit was a fate worse than death lmaoooo

[u/ROBOT_B9]

Laika deserves so much more love. It seems like all their movies only become instant classics after they leave theatres.

[u/ThisIsWhoI_Am]

Everything wrong with Coraline, period.

This stuff is nightmare fuel.

[u/Pixi-Native]

Are we speeding through those Laika movies? ParaNorman next? As long as we breakdown the disappointment that is Boxtrolls, let's go.

[u/DarkstarAnt]

Now this is exciting

[u/light_y7]

Can u do bollywood movies

[u/ShadowCheyn67]

As a Michigander I love all the trash talk, honestly had me laughing a lot!

Also bold of you to assume the Lions even know the phrase “winning a game”