Don't Name Your Kids Something Stupid. Dwayne Perkins - Full Special

what have you done what ginseng uh oh you you mean Michelle so my mother she has me and then she waited and has I have siblings that a lot younger than me they actually beat me to the punch to actually have kids man which is crazy my sister hasn't neat avenues my sister's daughter and she's named my niece my niece's name Skylar Besame Skylar I like the name you know I didn't like it at first when I first heard it cuz it's come out kind of a white name I feel we gonna it's trending right I think we're gonna say that right it's trending but you know what it is my sister's name is tishanna so my mother went that way with it so for my sister whether to just take a little off the top is what she's trying to do just just bring it back a smidge you know to me yeah I got a sister named tishanna another name talisha third one ain't I Jima yeah brother named Torian and my youngest brother is named Victor yeah it's like they got the Victor they were like okay let's cut this out we made out for you this can we cut this out I think we made our point can we stop it now and I like the name Skyler I get it my sister's smart cask I was gonna get older to try to get a job you know they get that resume first I'm not gonna chances you know they get that resume says Skyler at the top Skyler Skyler let's bring her in lets me know guys this means Skyler yeah I want is a chance they get that resume it says Lucretia at the top you know the creature doesn't sound like she thinks the customer's always right this is predict and it and the crazy thing is in our country you can have a child and name it whatever you want we you know we don't have any rules about them which i think is crazy I think in the room when you give the name we need like an alarm system like a button at a bank that you press you can alert the authorities that a mistake is in progress I think congratulations on your daughter what you want to name her but with the name her ginseng uh okay okay so like ginseng with an egg at the end is that what if that's a great name that's a great day let me get something from under the desk hold on a second push turbine right she goes back to the room the baby's going oh my god what what have you done what ginseng uh oh you you mean Michelle she's with the family that's gonna love her that's where showers hey listen I'm kidding I know you cannot take people's babies away okay and I'm also not making fun of your name if it's from a different country I get I'm talking about every country needs their own set like I got a buddy named chin ado but he's Nigerian like that's that's like John where he's from you know I'm saying so I'm not talking about that but for people that go off the ranch think about it one guy types a name in that's the name forever we got to give this guy to power to say no he could change his baby's life he's the baby's advocate give him that power right congratulations on your daughter what would you like to name one oh we want the name an excitation [Laughter] whoo Wow I'm I'm sorry what what was that excitation because we were so excited when she exited so yeah exactly no I'm sorry I can't now she's gonna get upset right well hold the hold up who are you not gonna eat my daughter bout one a name I thought I told you imagine you tell anybody when they can name everybody matter of fact big man what is your name what's your name - who me uh oblem Angelo my crazy mother loved lemon jello and that's why I work here gotta save the kids I'm not too many uh I get a sense there's not too many black people on that sure I don't know the demographics but and I just say that because I saw a black guy a few hours ago and he hugged me and I didn't know [Applause] is that take me with you and I was like it is good to be here I love I love you Tom I really do I mean I've been here so many times it seemed like it with all the craziness that's happening now like I come to Utah just mellow like it's not you know it's not so divided here you know I don't know I don't know what's gonna happen with our country you don't really know but I I believe in the American dream I think that's the other thing you know no matter what yeah no matter where you start you can make something out yourself that's America you know I think I think I'm the American dream look at me from Brooklyn New York and now I'm in Provo yes [Applause] if you have a dream and do you believe in that dream but your story though only in America true story my cousin Calvin from Brooklyn right spent seven years in prison and that's that's not the dream point seven years of prison while in prison took classes got his college degree in jail graduated top of his jail class we're so so proud of he made the wardens list so he's a great student my cousin got out of jail with his degree and in two weeks he got a job at a bank no I'm just teasing he's confident he get a job in a bank he he did a bank job is what I like to say yeah well you know he wanted to go back in his master's degree continuous studies it was unfortunate though because when he went back in they sent him to a different jail and it's credited transferred here to start he went to community to jail you gotta go to the right jail was all I'm saying people I do travel a lot I travel within the country but I also go overseas you know I like going overseas last year was a good year last year with the China Israel Scotland Africa there's good going to the motherland you know cuz I cuz I've never been to Scotland so you know just digging it with my people over there you know you know they don't like Americans everywhere you go yeah they don't like us everywhere you go I think it's because um I don't know everywhere you go they know everything about us and we know nothing about them yeah we're like we're like the hot chick of the world that's who you ever hang out with a young hot chick and she doesn't know how to worl work [ __ ] you know she says things like you don't have to wait in line just go to the front like she doesn't understand all the drinks are free now we'll say this respectfully I will say this that when I go places they don't seem to mind black Americans quite as much yeah cuz like they know it wasn't us I've been to Africa a bunch that's great you know first time I went to Africa I was so excited because that like I said when I had like a message you know for my people over there cuz see to understand you have to understand my grandmother raised me so I'm real old-school right so like I'm real like like I'm fun for me like I never waste food and from that era like I never waste food even to this day we're going to eat I'll eat my food and your food like that's it's growing up I had to eat everything clean plate Club I had to eat I had to eat soggy cereal you know what you know cornflake stays in milk longer than 2 minutes and 38 seconds it changes form but you can't chew it anymore you sky let it slide down the back of your throat yeah I had to eat that yeah my grandmother knew the real expiration date of food the real that that the date on the package nothing that's the suggestion that's not the actual yeah like grandma this is past a day it's like no baby it's seven business days at Monday was a holiday so go ahead and knock yourself out I couldn't eat what I wanted I could never eat what I desired I could only eat what was up next like what was about to go bad you know Saturday morning I'm excited I want pancakes you know they're like oh no actually we need you to eat this lasagna if you know but you should start right now there's not much time on that lasagna Salmonella and ten and when we're kids are growing up they tell us all the same thing right and say you know your food because they're starving kids in Africa so now went to Africa had a clear conscience yeah I got up I got off the plane I was like hey guys good to meet you hey guys listen I hate on my food yeah I don't know if you were starving or not but it wasn't me is what I'm saying because anything is that never really made too much sense that it that whole thing I get the part like you don't want to add insult to injury I get that part but from a practical standpoint makes no sense from a practical standpoint right it's like if you eat all your food it's in your belly like that food can never make it African you ate it if you throw it away it's got an outside shot is what I'm saying like say you're eating a pizza right you shouldn't do there's got a slice of it so you just fling it you're done with it just fling it and it just happens to fall into someone's bag who's on their way to Africa do you see what I mean you just now when I started that joke and I threw the pizza up in the air I'm sure at least some of you thought a bird was gonna catch the pizza and fly the Africa get real makes no sense we're traveling a lot actually went you know why I went recently I actually went to Amsterdam yeah so you know what happens you know what happens in Amsterdam provo yeah bike riding exactly nope says everyone's on a bike there's no shame to the game it's just like they don't have cars they want banks right cuz the us we're a car culture you know I mean you know unless you're on your mission but in the u.s. most places in the US were a car culture like if you're over 18 you're on a bicycle you you can't have to explain yourself but hey man those weren't a bicycle you want to want to talk about it like what happened exactly which would you like like what happened what you live in the Netherlands and Amsterdam you see a man in a three-piece suit on a bicycle going to work with a basket he's probably the president of the company president of the company going to work right like here you see a man three-piece suit on a bicycle going to work are you gonna say to yourself Wow his divorce lawyer sucked that guy I can't lost everything in the divorce it's really sad and that's why when people ride bikes having a putt about 15 years ago when people ride bikes in the US they go out of their way to let you know it's a hobby you know I mean no one can just hop on a bike with jeans anyone know you got to be in the Tour de France oh I get a $2,000 bike you gotta have spandex stupid aerodynamic helmet right the shoes that lock into the pedals you you got to get sponsorship what are you trying to shave 30 seconds of your time to Jamba Juice like calm it all way down calm it down okay and I don't I don't get the shoes that lock into the petals either I don't I'm sure there's a reason but like whenever I see guys with shoes or with a guy with shoes that lock it to his bike pedals I get sad I do I go oh that guy doesn't know how pedals work no sad I should probably tell him my pedals work listen you only these shoes that lock into the pedals if you have one pedal or one foot cuz you got to bring it back unless you're prepared to go like this you know that seems hard I'm not sure and the thing is I get it though listen I say all of this and I'm joking but if I live in LA now if you come to my place you're gonna see me on my bicycle with some of the stuff I just said yeah you're gonna be like wow hypocrite over here but what happens is when you go into a bike shop you ever go to a bike shop they look down on you that's like it's like a cult as soon as you walk in they got you just behind stuff you know and I walked into a bike shop you can't walk out a bike shop but I'm spending $1,000 you walk in and it's like oh really dad oh yeah and I was getting everything they said I didn't snap out of it until they tried to sell me the shoes then lock into the pedals that's when I was like wait a second why do I need shoes that lock into the pedals and how come I can't call my mother like I'm just worried about what's happening here we don't give the Dutch enough credit man the Dutch shout out to the touch think about it they gave us going Dutch like that's big some brave forward-thinking Dutchman set up for himself one day and said maybe you pay for yourself Oh [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] they're very practical they don't get credit they were they everything they do so it just makes sense like they have vending machines over there in the Netherlands like an entire city block it's a big vending machine it's amazing bread peanut butter whatever you want to type in a number it comes to you from halfway down the block what do we have late night gas stations they lock the door at 11:00 cuz there's America I get it right now you gotta order through that glass what you want he never gets it right we've all been there like hey man let me get uh let me get 30 on pump six please and um you know what let me get the Cool Ranch Doritos right there you had the Cool Ranch thank you thank you Oh oh hey hey hey man hey my man listen hey no no no nope doesn't that the Cool Ranch those are band-aids actually that's not what I the Cool Ranch right next to it right you see what no dog that's ravioli man well actually how much is the ravioli how much is right all right Betty yeah let me get the ravioli in and then the cool ranch you see right no right your hand is like that's fine I'll bring up the cashiers I love cashews I like the cashews that's fine I am I don't have any children you know maybe we'll see I waited no no [Music] Ben and I I meant we'll see if I have some not there's no little light-skinned kid in Amsterdam going huh no it's just but I waited I waited to have kids because I'm from the hood and my mother had me so young that I wanted to fix it you know yeah I wanted to fix it to make her a grandmother at the right age I was sure I was trying to clean up the timeline a little bit yeah because my mother is only 15 years old that I mean that's that's a little snug you can say it's Snuggie you know it's not bad though the good thing is she could never play the back in my day card because I was there I used to help over the homework why you got to carry the one how many times I got to tell you this I still remember the day my grandmother sat me and my mother down on the couch and told us there was no Santa Claus and we ride [Applause] that's a tough day for us both yeah my biggest fear is that when she gets older I can't take ever anymore right you got to take it to a nursing home and we're on our way there she's 90 and I'm 75 and then we get there and they make me stay hey man by the time you get home it's time to come right back come on sir just so I can tell you my grandmother raised me beautiful lady we had a nickname for we called the go-go I don't know I don't know why it's not like she ever went went you know to me love Go Go man we were we were like that's my smile that's my heart right there but you know she had funny ways about her like every time my grandmother every time gogo burned rice which was every time gogo cooked rice it was always my fault that she burned the rice you know like I'm playing video games she comes walking in she I say hey go go it's like boy your trifling what you mean to tell me you sit right in here and you can't smell the rice burn it sorry I thought you had that I thought that was your thing goes on and on almost a daily occurrence I'm outside playing still happens I'm outside go go come come she calls me up I run upstairs we're on the fifth floor run upstairs hey gogo is something boy your trifling what she be said she's like you mean to tell me you ran outside and you can't see the smoke coming out the window this happens all the time I grow up I move away I go to college right I get a call on my dorm pick up the phone let's go go hey go go why are you trying I go go listen I'm a hundred miles away from you okay I can't I can't see it I can't smell it she said turn to channel six [Applause] it's funny but technically you're laughing at my grandmother's house burning down let's well let you know that that's okay didn't it didn't happen it didn't happen huh it's exaggerated for the joke it's fun being a comedian it's a lot of fun it's a lot of work you know I know it's crazy it used to I don't think it was work before but now it's a lot of work because you got to write jokes that's easy right kinda but it's all the social media people it's just too much man it's and I you know most people are great online but he's got some crazies out there some people are really cool and I don't need everyone to like me I'm not about that I don't need you to like me no from Brooklyn I'm good right but if you don't like me I don't need you to tell me you said I'm saying like just don't like me over there what everyone's got you know what you know when the best time to be performer was it was the 80s that was cuz it was like there was TV but you could there was separation you know like I say you hate it Lionel Richie in the 80s you had no way of telling Lionel Richie that you hated him you have to eat that like that was just something you had to distill with maybe you could tell your friends I hurt you monitor se you're like alright alright you couldn't just call I'm already up and be like hello like you couldn't do that that was not an option in fact the only way you could tell why no Ritchie that you hated them in the eighties was to buy a ticket to a Lionel Richie show a good ticket first ten rows they could hear you right you drop some serious 80s coin like $35 yet to pay $35 so you give me the first ten rows you got there earlier you were stretching you were getting ready like what he comes out i'ma say hey chi'lan I'mI'm so excited I'm a mess up the whole show he's gonna know I hate him he's gonna die then he came out he went right to some Commodore songs you forgot his with the Commodores he was like well some of the conference stuff is actually pretty cool though I likes you're like okay after the Commodore stuff I'm gonna say I hate you Lionel Richie he needed the song with Kenny Rogers you're like oh I like that song - actually all right right did he think we are the world was like our man it was less way he what we underworld man after this I'm sir they need the two other songs you'd even know he was there was Lionel Richie but an hour and a half in you're like you know what I think I love Lionel Richie actually and and the problem with the Internet is that you can't get kicked off that's the real issue with it you can't you can do whatever you want today come back do it again as a society that's not how we set this thing up the whole power we have to make everyone act right is we can ostracize you we can send you to jail right we can see you to Australia like wherever we need to send you even in this room we can kick you out okay internet you come back the next day same problem with homeless people you can't really tell homeless people what to do you really can't because they're they're already outside yeah you understand you can't kick them more outside is what I'm saying like how do you threaten them right you keep acting up I'm gonna get you in that apartment I swear I'll pay your first and last month limp play games with me and see if I'm gonna set you up in an apartment but you got to love the internet cuz everything's on there everything's on YouTube is like I can't believe YouTube this you know it's the second search engine after Google which is crazy we think about like you everything is on YouTube I'm fine like if you grew up and you didn't know your father okay don't hide and investigator don't do that go to youtube and type my daddy and your dad will pop up on YouTube doing the nae nae I promise you he's there everything's on YouTube it's an amazing thing I'm telling you 20 years from now there won't be doctors just be YouTube like it your appendix is hurting you like okay which one of my friends has a steady hand you just bring up these skipped ahead news get that this is a pretty good deal though lady bookmark enemy bookmarking I'll come back everything is on YouTube my AC wasn't working right I went to the manufacturers website nothing I go to YouTube type in my AC three or four guys pop up teaching me how to fix my air conditioner I was like thanks to me before guys yeah one of the videos was in my apartment I didn't know how and I was like yeah I was really appreciative I was like thank you guys but at the same time I was like who asked you to do this like why was this your responsibility I'm Trevor what did you wake up at 2:00 a.m. and a cold sweat oh my gosh these people are theater doughnut fix the recognition filter I've gotta do it that blows my mind anything in the world you need or want someone else in the world said I got it I got it I'd do a video for you anything you can go to youtube my type how do I wipe my butt some guy will pop up hey guys Jack Morris here please subscribe below so a lot of people hit me up they say Jack kind of wiped my butt so simple here's what you're gonna need some toilet paper and a buck follow me guys let's I'm sorry that's a little out there right I just thought of the craziest thing I could think of but then I went back I said well let me see let me research research my own Joe Frank I went to youtube i typed in how do I write my but five videos five I mean five legitimate videos with no irony just people teaching you right and who can this be for who is this video for really who in the world knows how to read and write owns the computer but also doesn't know how to write thereby it's gotta be faylene's when you think about it it's the only thing that makes sense oh yeah I get off my music online too cuz the radio station you know they don't it played four songs all day you know how that is I actually heard jay-z on the radio recently and the radio guy was talking to him was like yo J but you felt about the music today Jane there's no commuting you know and jay-z was all like well you know there's good music out there you just gotta find it you got it you got to search for the music ha ha [Applause] it's your boy so anyway so think about what happened there the radio station as jay-z where's the good music jay-z told the radio station to find it you're the radio station like that would be like if you went to a restaurant you call the chef over hey chef can I talk to a sec yeah yeah this food is all for it it's crap yeah yeah yeah yeah there's good food out there though you know he's got a we can't serve it but do your homework it's out there dunk [Music] traveling you know when you travel you learn things too you learn you can dispel things that you thought were true that are really not true you know I mean still the lessons you learn at home I think a solid but you learn like you travel I've been all over the world I learned it hit me one day I was overseas and like wow Asians are the best drivers and um it hit me one day I said Asians said Asians okay you guys think I'm having a stroke don't you no I'm serious agents really are the best drivers you have to go over there to get it you know that you know you cross the street in Vietnam the car stop stop you can stand on the corner of like an hour like what's happening and someone explained it to me he's like no you got to just go and they'll just drive around you yeah you have to take a deep breath let's just step out into traffic they're like whoa but you got to keep the same pace it's very important that you keep the same it's like Frogger and you're the Frog you understand and then you get to the other side of the street you look back for your body and you go whoo I made it unbelievable I don't that means that driving around you think of that's precision driving right something you're still not buying it think about like this I prove to you agent are the best drivers prove to you right now think about like this anybody can just drive safely and anybody can have an accident but do you know how hard it is to almost have an accident all day like that's [Applause] that is a skill my friends this is um this is the part of the year where if you're a sports fan like me I don't know we're taping this at the time we're basketball just finished hockey just finished this is when it gets rough I mean I like baseball but you know it gets rough right now that's probably why you're here you're like let's go to see some comedy because there's nothing on and what happens is ESPN mate they have the justifier why they're around so they stop showing stuff that's not sports this is when it happens they start putting on activities but try to pass him off as sports dart throwing activity bowling activity the other day I saw a cup stacking now for those of you who for those of you don't know what cup stacking is let me explain to you its cup stacking they give kids cups any any stack them I'm like put the cups away go outside take your beating like a man go outside nothing we can't find a sport for everyone is what I'm saying fine cup stacking you know how low that happen yeah how many teams you didn't make activities man fishing I mean fun activity but inactivity I don't want to watch people fish how do you watch people fish it's so boring you have to just go fishing yourself and inside you know all these things I'm saying I said the doctor rowing fishing is how you know your sport is just an activity a little bit missed test if you're wondering if you're the best in the world at your sport but you still have a roommate sorry that's that's an activity that's not as for if you hold the world record but you split the cable bill I'm sorry that's not activity that's not Michael Jordan never had roommates like Michael children never came home from winning a championship and there were three guys on beanbags playing PlayStation you know like hey Mike how'd it go oh yeah yeah we won we won a championship again yeah hey guys anybody know what happened to that that chow mein that I had in the fridge it was almost full was a thing a chow mein so nobody knows what happened to the chow mein okay okay I said I was gonna win the championship come home and eat that chow mein I wrote my name on it you didn't see my name it's at MJ's championship chow mein you guys didn't see that on there I now any single people here and then in the crown single no single clap if you're single okay okay more women than men so I'll speak I'll speak to the ladies on behalf of the man ladies love you all that don't take this the wrong way but for the single men out there this is what this is a message I'm sending you ladies you know how you have a guy friend even if you're not saying that you had this before every lady in here when we had the guy friend she liked the line a whole lot but not that way yeah that's wrong ladies is what that is but because if the guy hangs out with you you'd know he likes you I mean why would he put up with your talking I mean seriously just sorry ladies when you have a guy friend it is a great guy ladies and you won't date him do you know if that's like for the guy it would be like if you went on a job interview right and the guy was like well mr. Perkins this is a great resume we've got the experience we've been looking forward love your attitude you're perfect for this job and we're not gonna hire you now we're probably hire someone who's fall as qualified and as a drinking problem but this is a great resume Wow if in fact this is the resume we're gonna use to judge all the other candidates now we're not gonna hire you ever but is it okay if we call you every now and then to complain about the guy we do hire can we do [Applause] [Music] and fellas if this happens to you it is your fault because women don't read minds just let them know what you want to just be a wee bit of sort of let them know right I got so ladies now I tell them listen I'm good with friends so I'm not looking for that I got all the friends I need right I'm taking no more friend applications I mean check me around Christmastime I might do some seasonal hiring but for right now I have enough friends I got a mother three sisters I got cousins that can't be with because of society and I said it was single so everyone else must be not single so who's not single good on you good on you good on you and I don't know I I ask people what how do you make it work relationships and I get different things communication you know some guys say drinking helps a lot of men tell me though a lot of men just like hey man just let it be right just you know yes there and I get it all these things I get but here's I think the real thing to it it's picking the right person in the beginning then the work is a little easier you don't mind doing the work so I don't know about for ladies but for men I've got a little litmus test here's how you know you get the right lady my fellas is too when you look at you say to yourself you know what I love this girl so much that I am prepared to come home for work every day sit down in front of her and listen to her story now now I know it's not gonna have a beginning on it I realized that she's gonna introduce new characters along the way but I'm gonna listen with love and empathy run off for no solutions even if there is a clear solution I will not offer that solution and ladies we love you but you know your stories are not you don't you don't beeline it with your stories you kind of you glow stick it what's your stories you know it is because you're smarter like I'm being real like you got your brains handle more variables than ours with tunnel vision so ladies me talk to a man be gentle understand what we got going on up in just checkers just basic checkers that's all we got just King me that's all we got and ladies your brains your brains chess yeah except every piece on the chessboard is also playing a game of chess do you see it as and and I think that's the reason why you never see like you never see like for women hijack a plane yeah I think it's because it it would take too long to be quiet and another thing I'm sorry but why you hijacking this plane again I'm getting to it okay okay okay it's just that we we've landed already it is the thing so should we circle what should we do then I tease tease we love you ladies don't love you I am two more things for get out of here there is I live in LA from New York live in LA and I don't know if you have this kind of thing here but this is a social experiment in a way that just intrigues me okay st. parking lot there's a Whole Foods right next to a 99-cent store it's trippy because it's like the 1% shopping with the 99% and you feel bad for the 99-cent store people too cuz they have to walk past a Whole Foods every time they going by mistake you see them that just confuse it they're putting almonds on layaway you know I mean it's just really I go to both stores okay but when I'm at the 99-cent store when I go to the dollar store I'm proud and I hate when I'm in there and there's a guy ahead of me that tries to make me feel bad yeah look over he's got bleach sponges Ajax I get his message he's you know buddy saying what he's saying is well I just get my cleaning products I'm here I'm painting I shop here but I don't I don't shop here screw you dude cuz I'm getting my groceries for the week is what I'm doing and if you had a man if you got it like that don't even come here with the plebs if you're the man go get your bleach from Whole Foods go get eight dollar bleach it go go get some cage free bleach like if you're about that life get some farm-raised Ajax if you about that life don't bring your $4 attitude to the 99-cent store I want you to come to the dollar store you want a bus you know better than anybody else so if you're there why not have fun get in the game everything's a bunk give a game go get some grapes they're not gonna go bad in an hour just get them you know my favorite my favorite thing about the dollar store my favorite thing are the bananas yeah cuz I've been um I've been to dollar stores all over the world okay and uh I'm not sure is that is that bragging like what did I just say I don't even know it's not a brag or confirm you know what what box that goes in but I've been at a lot of Dollar Stores and any Dallas don't know where you go to you got two choices of banana you know there's two options dark green or black like those here too and I think what happens is when they turn yellow they take them to the Whole Foods I think that's that's what's happening I won't leave you at this I live I live I live alone everyone I'm you know I got my own little condos a good look I didn't always live alone they just have a roommate I saved up it was fine my roommate was cool but when people live together they're never equally clean this is a fact so Rhonda Louis who's the clean one top you've hit a clean one today yes clean ones very proud you see that as a proud people clean was like yes I'm a clean line yeah any clean would always looks at the dirty one to make sure they're not clapping nose not your turn he didn't say I won't say dirty but clap if you are a little untidy maybe you're busy you got stuff going on yeah yeah these are my people hey you got a clap as soon as I said it the clean one went like this so you got a these are my people and I'm sure you like me I'm not filthy not filthy just my old roommate he was he was obsessive he didn't live life you know he he stalked dirt dirt had a restraining order against them yeah he was always lurking in the shadows waiting to clean like I'm eating a sandwich I might get the phone I come back the plate it's gone it's in the dish rack and he's not even home yeah [Applause] he was passive-aggressive used to make little notes and leave them all over the place you know but God forbid I don't wipe with the sink that will get a note yeah like attention sink users it was just me and him so I'm like why are you is this me say I'm Dwayne said mother but you know if you clap second when you live with a clean person you know it's kind of cool it's annoying but it's cool right cuz you live with a clean person you never have to clean because clean P what you have to do it yeah it's it's a compulsion you can't you can't I'll fill us right because our threshold for filth is so much higher than yours and clean people we love it when you act like you're not gonna clean it it's cute it really is it's cute he's my roommate we're trying to get tough right even like hey buddy hey hey hey yeah yeah yeah hey you know those dishes gonna sink well you know they're yours yeah yeah I know I know those my dishes just leave them there I'll get to him let's leave them okay okay okay hey any idea when so anyway now I'm not sure when actually I'm about to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy and then I'm gonna read the Old Testament so I'm not sure hey guys are great I'm [Applause] you

Channel: Dry Bar Comedy

Views: 5,139,872

Rating: 4.8444018 out of 5

Keywords: Clean Comedy, Dry Bar Comedy, Stand Up Comedy, Worlds Largest Library of Clean Comedy, Dwayne Perkins, Dwayne Perkins Dry Bar Comedy, Dwayne Perkins Comedy, Dwayne Perkis Comedian, Dry Comedy Bar, Dry Comedy Stand Up, Clean Stand Up, clean stand up comedy, clean stand up comedy 2019, clean stand up comedy full show, Clean Stand Up Comedy Clips, Clean Stand Up Comedy Routines, dbc, stand up, Dwayne Perkins Stand Up, Naming kids, weird names, youtube, key and peele, funny

Id: wOwvnBzJK5k

Length: 47min 26sec (2846 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 06 2019