CHATS #5

couples costume idea for us um those two don't go together neither do we Eric goodbye what the Frick I'm yours I love you dad I love you too babe mwah she's lying she said the same thing to Jack Mark Zuckerberg of all people nice job team I stopped a woman getting kidnapped today really how self-control consider this a freakin warning oh sorry sorry prom person um wait who is the right person who the hell is the right person oh because I didn't want to drive her to bingo since you don't want to take me to bingo go live elsewhere you and there girl get out of my basement respecting a future US Army soldier hi um hello how are you are you male or female no I'm Gmail you mean gay huh you can't reply to this conversation oh my god mom I think I'm pregnant honey are you drunk yeah why well you're a boy teacher I can't give you your homework today I'm at the hospital right now hey can you grab a card on the way home my co-workers mum dies what the Frick is wrong with you good morning neighbor morning bro can you please satisfy your wife quietly please I'm sleeping I'm in the office bro I can't marry you my family is totally against it who are they to stop you my wife and two kids wait what would you like to be the Sun in my life oh my god yes then stay 92 million nine hundred fifty five thousand seven hundred miles the Frick away from me destruction one hundred last night I hang out with some friends and cheated on you don't worry I did something worse what stayed home and trusted you hey surprised me and I will send you my nudes sorry I didn't want nudes Wow surprise yeah I'm surprised nudes please what outstanding move hey Dad I need you to pick me up from school I got suspended what what did you do the teacher said the stupidest person in the world lives in Canada okay and I said sir you must be mistaken you live in America I cleaned my keyboard and lost a key F this is not me you spend way too much time on xbox and never spend any time with me but I'm trying to unlock in your achievements hey guess what warts achievement unlocked single turn around in the other direction Oh turn around again dude where are you I don't see you I'm out of town but the force of you aimlessly turning around in circles and mused me hey sexy hey don't talk to me like that very disrespectful you'll say hello and only address me as sir newts we need to have a talk when you get home put one in water what the hell is this it's a rhinoceros how to confuse a gay um I don't get it would you say that you're confused yes read it again oh wow I've been fooled message from mom how do I delete voicemail from the home for just press seven gracias um what gracias I don't get it Spanish for thanks right oh you mean gracias lo how do you spell HIV h-i-v are you positive yes I can't believe you'd fall for that if you're HIV positive that's bad message from best friend I saw you were laughing a lot today is everything all right I saw the pain behind your smile hey man you still have the MacBook Pro yeah what's the lowest you'll take lowest I'll go is $700 how about $200 sure why not okay where do you want to meet 101 Maine in Burlington in about 10 minutes sounds good hey I'm here cool head insight into the comedy club yeah then head up on the stage and tell your jokes to somebody else so do you remember Rachel our classmates yeah the girl I once smashed in the classroom I got married to her wait what are you on drugs no boo you're going to have no cool stories when you're older mom stop pressuring me to do drugs I have bad news me too Michael cheated on me oh I have good news what I hit him with my car bro yesterday I was at a job interview the interviewer gave me a laptop and said sell it to me I took the laptop I put it in my bag and left damn bro why did you take his laptop and leave bro well after three hours he called me and said bring my laptop back I said you want to buy it message from a dog okay awesome morning I talked Benedikt to text um why would you do that he's my best friend he creeps me out he wants to text you mmm no thanks hello human Jesus cry no Jesus Benedict mum don't freak out but I'm in a police car Stephen you've been a police officer for over ten years stop starting every phone conversation like this was the hottest uber driver you've ever had I never went to oval Java some guys we've been talking about you so got messed up pretty bad will you come over and take care of me [Music] um that's strawberry jam we bought a computer from you yesterday and it won't turn on press the big button I have then try to call at the back maybe it's disconnected I'll get two flashlights don't go away I'll be fast why do you need a flashlight it's dark we have no electricity hello bro you're good at math right hi yes I'm good if I cut a cake into three pieces each piece will be in zero point free free free of the main piece right correct okay if we multiply free by zero point free free free we get zero point nine ninety-nine so what happened to zero point zero zero one you'll find it on the knife oh thanks message from mom Matt please answer me okay what's wrong oh my god okay here okay I looked into Facebook and on a news clip it said a 23 year old male was shot to death on or endure and West Drive oh my god I got so scared and cried and smoked one after the other I love you so much mom I'm 21 what a babe what did the doctor say about your mole it's not cancerous so I'm keeping it I personalized it to never show that to my parents ever can I have my hoodie back please well can I have my virginity back hello Pussycats how about meeting tonight's I'll buy a bottle of wine and the apartment is asked for the whole weekend sounds promising but lisa is not home right now this is her father here's the deal you buy some beer instead of wine and he'll be with you in no time meow message from bestie hey can I tell you a secret yeah what is it I like Jack a lot um Jack yeah the boy you sit by in almost all of your classes why do you talk to him so much anyway um because he's my boyfriend what hey bro do you still have that owl for sale owl what ow oh I guess it was a dream okay I'm really crying right now did I thought I was calling my mum but I had the wrong number and this is the lady you thought it was your mom I just wanted to let you know your wrong number was a great Christmas gift for me I lost my only daughter around the holidays so hearing you say hey mom made me feel so good and I hope you have a Merry Christmas so want to make out I mean hangouts damn autocorrect want to sit on my face I mean grab a drink sorry damn autocorrect also correct clearly just wants us to bang I mean hang every time damn boy Tina call me now no I don't want to talk please it's um mm-hmm wait what it's urgent Tina dad oh hey baby I want to watch a movie tonight what should we watch hmm how about snakes on planes sure what's it about horses it's about horses on boats no it's a horseshoe no why are you so afraid of the truth okay so that's it for this video guys thank you so much for watching I really hope you did enjoy and I want to say a massive thank you to every single one of you guys for the support towards a series it's absolutely insane if you're new around here definitely subscribe to the channel so you don't miss out on the future episodes and of course jump back and check out the other ones if you haven't already and finally definitely follow me on my social app fainted sad on Twitter and Instagram follow me right now anyway so yeah that's it and I'll see you all in the next video have an absolutely amazing day much love peace [Music]

Channel: Fainted

Views: 4,145,805

Rating: 4.9389749 out of 5

Keywords: chats, texts, funny texts, funny chats, facebook, twitter, instagram, social media, funniest texts ever, funniest texts, meme, memes, fainted

Id: HGEi9Om3S10

Length: 11min 2sec (662 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 28 2019