CHATS #8

what if we just left work right now and went to the bar joke joke joke unless um I'm your boss you need to stop sending me this every day my fav pic of us who is this sorry a wrong number y'all ugly Jeff Bezos get away from me I got something for you um what something regrets falling for such trap it's actually this this you're unbelievable please don't do this I seriously can't live without you I didn't cheat on you Starks oh I didn't mean to send that my wife crashed my Mustang Oh No she hurts not yet she locked herself in the bathroom wait enough bro I heard you died in a car accident please reply bro at least say goodbye bro I'm dead I can't reply geez man I forget sorry rest in peace bro my dad tried using Siri to send me a text message for the first time love you that's it send Siri send it Siri are you on crack send the message to her hey are you ready doing makeup wait a second you don't need makeup honey ah really you need plastic surgery [Music] Steve there's a talking raccoon on my couch Steve he has a gun Steve what do I do I don't know play dad okay wait dead no Tony wait Tony ah he can ride a bike now that's cool I didn't pick this life this life picked me that's got to be the ugliest picture I have ever seen and the joke is freakin atrocious ten out of ten I don't care if you're a man I'll buy two nipple you look at me like that again what would you do if I broke up with you get back with my ex now I see how much you care I'm done hey want to go out go with your ex you are my eggs I love you um I have a boyfriend I have iPhone XS max actually I was joking I'm single even I was joking I have read me four get the freak out of here our place is out the by your bed you can clean under your bed vacuum it too before putting your bed back Oh - not to poor English okay boomer your phone is mine when you get home oh please stop using that phrase Sun God Hey look the first day it's 44 degrees outside lolololololol death kill death Jill I'm going to kill the sky this is me declaring war on the weather message to crush good nights don't let the demons drag you into hell and devour your soul excuse me oh my god I'm so sorry that was for my friend Ashley well it's okay oh my god Ashley I texted Josh the wrong text now he thinks I'm a freak and I have no chance of him now Kate stay wrong person but you still have a chance with me good night then that the demons drag you into hell or else we can never go on a date why am i laughing this hard haha hello who are you Andrew and Roux oh my god this is so funny bro she's online what do i do I don't know said the big of you break uh you first huh you said it to her idiot uh oh my bad hey could you think Bianca no I'm not gonna be able to go to her party on Friday why not she's in a bad mood right now I don't think I want to tell her just tell her dude things are kind of weird between us right now I told her what did she tell her so I said you ain't coming and she said that sounds typical of you to do just cuz you guys are weird right now and immature very calmly she said I'm with an immature she saw my ps4 to get her nails done what the Freak she mean I'm immature ha ha vibe check we broke up two years ago why are you sending me this what if I told you a man requested to play somewhere over the rainbow on flutes before stress what the actual father laughing my ass off it's a serenade Judy Garland style why did this happen I think the better question is why wouldn't it happen I'm putting this on reddit do you want to know what is the one thing I would miss the most if I become deaf what sound okay father good what are you up to nothing watching shark tank ah where the fur are you again the freakin Zoo it's a TV show brah okay you know Yoda Yoda ho you know Lee liek my balls you know Justin just in your mom last night damn that was good you know Gavin know Gavin it to your mom sorry I'm driving please text wait on the second you interracial treatments to just choke him joking can you do phone cell in 15 minutes maybe they're at 7:45 trying to see you orgasm especially that you have my baby inside you that ain't me bruh you got me twisted laughing my ass off oops embarrassed you're the first one that knows I'm having a third kid my bad freaked you what what did I do because of you I've started saying epic and now I can't stop okay babe I'm wet so do you want a paper towel no I want more than that you want two paper towels no I want something big and around tempura you want the whole roll do you ever fart and get mad at yourself because it smells so bad grandma got run over by a reindeer ha ha bus meet at hospital how many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh I don't know 10 tickles well why tentacles gosh damn it I thought they had eight low can I eat your ass um who is this your daddy brah who think um still that no dude it's qidan dude I don't know you I think you have the wrong number who do you think this is whoa a wrong person what the Frick dude did you wreck someone's car or something or did someone wreck your car I'm infinitely confused message to mom about to get in this nice guy's car [ __ ] has candy okay get me some candy too uh-huh what that's not good like the video in the next two seconds for ten years good luck no joke no scam you must be one of those lizard people who work for the government's I don't work for the government lizard person not yet at least lizard in training what this idk ly and ttyl mean I don't know love you talk to you later uh okay I'll ask your sister hey this is Derek from Birch I wanted to say I respect your confidence to be able to come up to me and give me your number you're very pretty unfortunately I'm gay but I am an identical twin and he's straight if you'd like his number of snapchat oh my honestly that works out yes please there's a squirrel in one of the study rooms yeah what how I have no idea if that isn't the most Harvard thing I've ever heard they locked a room because it won't come out and it's a big guy over net oh my freaking God it's like a cartoon hold up I'll try to get a photo yes please wait they got it damn I was rooting for him message to baby so you want to hang out later era your message could not be sent at this time please try again later Thomas had never seen such bull poo before I was getting up because I fell asleep earlier my knees collapsed underneath me and I almost fell oh my god did you secretly try to steal my kneecaps yes I did I cooked them they made for a nice dinner don't worry though they grow back no it's okay I already grew some new ones if my weight it's 99 kilograms and I eat one kilogram of nachos would I be 1% of that Jos no the human body is primarily compromised of sodium na carbon C hydrogen H oxygen Oh so arguably you're 100% nacho have you seen URIs new truck wait who's URI you're [ __ ] Lal nice URI is friends with Joe though uh who's Joe Joe mama Ned is short for Ned Drake Ned word Ned Djimon Ned win Ned a van Jim Mantha I see we are done with Ned oh hey girl do you listen to G said a cuz I'm gonna jizz in yeah sorry Mensa not somebody else okay guys everybody hope you did enjoy that video if you want to subscribe click here and if you want watch another video that's good yeah this right here is looking good bro click that

Channel: Fainted

Views: 1,833,315

Rating: 4.9571967 out of 5

Keywords: chats, texts, funny texts, funny chats, facebook, twitter, instagram, social media, funniest texts ever, funniest texts, meme, memes, fainted

Id: _zy2uMLdWi8

Length: 11min 6sec (666 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 08 2020