CHATS #7

feast your eyes Patrick okay it's the paddy wagon you better start having some productive stuff to say or I'm blocking you what's I see we're in what whatever you want me to buy you oh okay I wear a size 1100 in rent hello Kim sup weirdo why do I have to be widowed if you weren't a weirdo Kim would have given you her real phone number sir your account has been hacked a steam no bank account oh thank god dad has cancer ha ha ha excuse me god damn you're adopted daddy daddy yes honey I just wanted to tell you that I have a new boyfriend oh good I've a new gun um not seeing a connection hopefully neither will the cops your grandma just passed away I'm so sorry son mom Joe called wait who's Joe Joe mama wait I've won but at what cost [Music] I need to take a shower okay filthy girl whoa I'm so dirty mall how dirty well really dirty okay go take a shower okay what was that it was just a here's the pick he wants it from last night's what I never asked for that sorry wrong numba hey so my friend Joe recently applied for a job at SpaceX you think you could let him in who's Joe Joe mama well while you may have roasted me you've completely forgotten about your friend Candice wait who's Candice Candice didn't fit in your mouth roast bro send me some good jokes sorry now I'm busy with my girlfriend good one send me more no more free hugs now how dare you free hugs are a human rights hmm no they aren't yes they are show me okay one second okay as you see the Universal Declaration of Human Rights one free hugs ah thank you very much the ritual has begun Jack what the Frick is with you don't send me weird stuff like that my meat what oh I was just listing things like beets oh my kids no you're supposed to say something you beets I did Oh Oh God my notifications this week all of mine are from your mother all of mine are from your sister that's gross hey dad do you know who Joe is Joe mama and I are getting divorced Lake my boss them toes though you freaking neanderthal just makes you wanna suck them doesn't it number 15 Burger King foot lettuce the last thing you want on your burger King burger is someone's foot fungus hey gorgeous how are you um she's sleeping bro it's me her boyfriend oh hey handsome how are you you're awake no I'm asleep okay bye bye dude you were so drunk last night no I wasn't dude you went up to a little Mexican girl and said Dora I need your map to find home that was before I even started drinking what the heck is wrong with you hey bro I finally asked her out and she said yes six nine four two zero uh what nice my dog died today uh what damn that blows message from crush oh my god hi hi I'm ugly I'm penguin what sorry thought we would say FIGS not true I have a confession I'm cheating on you oh my god is it with Joe no with Brad Alex Jay Kevin and sometimes Jennifer who's Joe Joe mama it never gets old just be I remember I don't know he is he keeps looking at me your sister is really pretty it runs in the family you do look really similar but somehow only she got the pretty parts joke you're also a very pretty lady yeah well I got the Bryan's the Bryan's clearly you do got the Bryan's but I think Lucy may have the brains what's up I'm at work so I can't talk on the phone but I can text have you ever been peed directly into can't say I have and this is why I don't answer the phone when he cool and I'm at work would you like to join my cult I mean relation see what are you bro dem so would you like to solemnly swear your soul to the dog Oh Crusader mum I got a plus in chemistry WTF well done mom what do you think WTF means well that's fantastic right hey Tina are you with a man just with my cat what the Freak man you ain't Tina ha ha ha what the heck you know what Tina uh no she gave you the wrong number dude bro she gave me your number and told me to hit her up I'm joking it's Tina ha ha ha damn I didn't think you bested me like that well somebody keep you satisfied for tonight still me man sorry what the Frick man how many cats you got bro Sh what's the difference between this and this this is for friendship and this is for love oh thanks you're welcome if you're eating three slices of bread stacked together all at the same time are you eating a bread sandwich I feel kind of attacked I I feel very attacked hey lady hi what are you up to trying to unlock a door with no knob huh [Laughter] [Music] are you thinking about suicide no you yes but like don't tell anyone you look suicidal you look like a half-eaten Wendy's bug you look like you ate half the Wendy's I MUC freaking did this I'm tired of you sure I thought he trusted you but then you go and do that sleep with my girlfriend freak you oh grandma I'm so sorry I meant to sin that's my friend beat his ass I'll get the crowbar and I'll f up the girl while you kill your friend yo this grandma has no chill oh my god do you know what the laptop is in the new laptop spot top of the fridge of course that's not a laptop spots that's a clear surface for the torch and fire extinguisher sorry I'm on the train and it's hard to hear I think you said it's a great laptop spot I totally agree dude it's a text hey dude I'm hungry can you bring me something from your house haha well dude no that's too far boy I've got fifty miles is not even that bad dude okay what he wants when your boy asks you to drive 50 miles to bring him food wait all this was for a banana wow this is a great friend right here like this video and subscribe in the next five seconds for ten years good luck you know you want that good luck baby oh my god just came home to a dead chicken ah okay cook it haha that's mean it's chicken if we weren't meant to eat them God wouldn't have provided so many different recipes that make him so tasty it was my pet you jerk my dad bought me those chickens you're so mean you could have at least pretended to care okay I'm sorry if I were there we would give a proper funeral service perhaps something similar to a cremation at about 375 degrees while wrapped in a soothing blanket of and lemon juice oh yeah did you know if you pee than a bleach bottle it would make mustard gas and kill everyone in the house I really want to know how and why you wanted to find this information out and then figure out your life choices pee pee my boyfriend painted my tummy for a video I can't wait for you all to see hashtag 23 weeks pregnant ah this is so cute pumpkin smashing time any advice for being single on Valentine's Day whenever you see a couple laughing or kissing stop crying and scream at the guy saying how could you you said you love me I gave you everything about this it's over then slap him and walk away I'll be interesting ah this is why we have best friends anyways guys that's is it for this episode of chats I really hope you did enjoy if you're new to the channel definitely do subscribe so you Demma set on the future episodes over here we take a look at pretty much funny moments from all across the internet it's great fun so you definitely don't miss out anyways guys thank you so much for watching I'll see you all in the next video have an absolutely amazing day much love peace

Channel: Fainted

Views: 2,098,033

Rating: 4.9593124 out of 5

Keywords: chats, texts, funny texts, funny chats, facebook, twitter, instagram, social media, funniest texts ever, funniest texts, meme, memes, fainted

Id: Se9PZu1UfVs

Length: 10min 22sec (622 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 29 2019